telling your virgo your thoughts... bad? good??
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by cancerious20 on Wednesday, April 3, 2013 and has 13 replies.
Laying it all on the line via email was a decent start to redemption for you've been a very, very bad boy. The stage you're in now is beyond punishment (she was punishing you when she kissed the ex in front of you.)
You're in the beginning stages of the legendary Virgo freeze-out. (Translation: you're about to be cellophane.)
But! her saying "we'll figure it out", means there is still hope.
Considering your past actions and that tidbit given by her girlfriend, now you've got her all confused and as a result, there are probably five more barbed wires around her heart...TSK, TSK, TSK...
If there is one thing a Virgo woman abhors most, it's an unstable, inconsistent bloke (well, an unstable, inconsistent, hygienically-challenged bloke really would be worse.)
Telling a Virgo your thoughts within a situation such as this, is good. When left to our own devices God only knows what we can cook up in our heads. It's dangerous. Your transparency will not only ease her anxiety-filled brain, but will hopefully show her that you actually care and are ready to step up to the plate and be a man.
You're in the beginning stages of the legendary Virgo freeze-out. (Translation: you're about to be cellophane.)
But! her saying "we'll figure it out", means there is still hope.
Considering your past actions and that tidbit given by her girlfriend, now you've got her all confused and as a result, there are probably five more barbed wires around her heart...TSK, TSK, TSK...
If there is one thing a Virgo woman abhors most, it's an unstable, inconsistent bloke (well, an unstable, inconsistent, hygienically-challenged bloke really would be worse.)
Telling a Virgo your thoughts within a situation such as this, is good. When left to our own devices God only knows what we can cook up in our heads. It's dangerous. Your transparency will not only ease her anxiety-filled brain, but will hopefully show her that you actually care and are ready to step up to the plate and be a man.
She is scared because she doesn't feel that she can trust you.
I think it's a good thing that you are taking responsibility and owning the fact that you were mostly to blame. Hmmm...even now I can sense more of the human side of you coming into form. Does it really take for a few trips into the deep freezer to bring that out?
Yes, sit down and have the heart to heart. It's been five years of this foolishness, and if the two of you wish to move forward and get yourselves out of this rut, an open and honest conversation should be the first step.
I just hope that you are as serious about this girl as you make it seem, and are ready to make the necessary changes. I would suggest that even before meeting with her, you conduct a thorough search of your heart for answers. If this is the person that you really want to be with, then I say proceed. If not, leave her alone and let her move on with her life and find a guy that will be into her just as much as she is into him.
I think it's a good thing that you are taking responsibility and owning the fact that you were mostly to blame. Hmmm...even now I can sense more of the human side of you coming into form. Does it really take for a few trips into the deep freezer to bring that out?
Yes, sit down and have the heart to heart. It's been five years of this foolishness, and if the two of you wish to move forward and get yourselves out of this rut, an open and honest conversation should be the first step.
I just hope that you are as serious about this girl as you make it seem, and are ready to make the necessary changes. I would suggest that even before meeting with her, you conduct a thorough search of your heart for answers. If this is the person that you really want to be with, then I say proceed. If not, leave her alone and let her move on with her life and find a guy that will be into her just as much as she is into him.
Posted by cancerious20
Ty for the response. Honestly I am just fed up with the constant circles we go in. I told her my thoughts and she wrote me back with idk what to say just yet, but will respond when i have something. She is just gonna write me back things I have already heard. So I have come to the conclusion that I am going to just say listen, I want to sit down at dinner with you and talk about what is going. I want to see if there is room for progress and if not this is a waste of my time.
I want to see her body language. I don't want there to be any response time. Look in her eyes, etc. I just want to be open and honest and see where the convo goes. She says she is scared, doesn't know what she wants. Im not interested in that. Im interested in why she is scared, why she doesnt know what she wants.
I am tired of sitting here thinking I dont want to overwhelm her or pressure her. We have been talking 5 years and its like we still dont even know how we feel about each other. ITS A JOKE. I know I am most of the blame, but something needs to change.
Its weird bc I am the most straight forward honest person I know. People tell me Im too honest. With her that just simply isnt the case. Its bc I constantly am trying to think of things to say about how I feel that isnt really how I feel. I beat around the bush. I just want to get everything out and tell her how I feel face to face and see her response and how she feels. Need to be myself for a change.
Do you think this is a good idea??? I wonder if it is (even though im doing it no matter what her response is.)
welcome to the virgo/cancer rollercoaster lol Me and my cancer friend have been doing this dance for 11-12 years now lol I friend zoned him though...I got tired of waiting...because I wasnt going to be the one to say anything.
I think you should tell her...someone has got to break the cycle and more than likely its wont be her. Then go from there...if she doesnt feel the same..oh well, it wasnt meant to be. Plus you have that shell to hide in lol.
good comments boys and girls...
@virgovixxx... I have taken plenty of time this past week of her silence to sit and think about how I really feel about her. I know what I want. I just have to actually make the damn effort. Hopefully she says she will go to dinner and we can see where the convo goes. Still waiting on her to reply to my first email.
What the hell do you virgo girls do when you take all this space? My lord. lol...
She keeps putting up quotes on her fb about "never give up, great things take time"...."nothing happens in your life unless you create the space for it to happen in"...I wish she would just write back so we can get moving forward.
@virgovixxx... I have taken plenty of time this past week of her silence to sit and think about how I really feel about her. I know what I want. I just have to actually make the damn effort. Hopefully she says she will go to dinner and we can see where the convo goes. Still waiting on her to reply to my first email.
What the hell do you virgo girls do when you take all this space? My lord. lol...
She keeps putting up quotes on her fb about "never give up, great things take time"...."nothing happens in your life unless you create the space for it to happen in"...I wish she would just write back so we can get moving forward.
idk why the message got posted under gemini1's thing but w/e
Posted by cancerious20
@virgovixxx... I have taken plenty of time this past week of her silence to sit and think about how I really feel about her. I know what I want. I just have to actually make the damn effort.
What the hell do you virgo girls do when you take all this space? My lord. lol...
I sure hope so because you didn't sound very convincing just a few days ago.
We are always working. The busiest little bees in the zodiac, us. Even if we don't have something to do, we find something.
Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by cancerious20
@virgovixxx... I have taken plenty of time this past week of her silence to sit and think about how I really feel about her. I know what I want. I just have to actually make the damn effort.
What the hell do you virgo girls do when you take all this space? My lord. lol...
I sure hope so because you didn't sound very convincing just a few days ago.
We are always working. The busiest little bees in the zodiac, us. Even if we don't have something to do, we find something.click to expand
+1
Busy busy...always busy :/
How long am I gonna have to wait for this damn silence to end. It seems like it's so pointless. All she is doing is sitting around waiting till she misses me again it seems. Putting up those quotes and stuff. Just seems like she is trying to find some time for me in her heart again. All the space just seems kinda ridic to me. Obviously I dont understand it.
Just wanted to say that this girl randomly asked me to go to a game with her and her friend and one of my friends today. So odd after all the shortness. We talked a little bit and I said we should go to dinner next week and talk about if there is any room for progress in this relationship. She said "i'll think about it." We talked about a few things and she just kept saying "idk what to say" "i dont know what I want" I said something to the fact that two weeks ago you wanted to go to dinner tho right? She said yes. I said and now you just dont know huh. She rolled her eyes lol.... Im semi confused.
She has been posting a lot of fb stuff about daring herself to begin. Never give up. Stuff like that....then after I left she said something like always defeated but everytime im back at it, impressed.
It almost seems like she is searching for that love for me again. That right now she doesnt know what she wants but she at least knows she wants to see where we go. I feel like she is looking for me to prove to her I mean the things im saying over a extended period of time. I feel its not that she doesnt know if she wants to do dinner. Its that right now she just isnt quite comfortable with going, but once I can get her there she is all about it. It kinda seems like I need to take things are her pace and keep things fun. We always work best during convos when things are kept light and fun. SLowly get her into feeling more and more comfortable with me. Keep things consistent. Then see what happens. Thoughts??
She has been posting a lot of fb stuff about daring herself to begin. Never give up. Stuff like that....then after I left she said something like always defeated but everytime im back at it, impressed.
It almost seems like she is searching for that love for me again. That right now she doesnt know what she wants but she at least knows she wants to see where we go. I feel like she is looking for me to prove to her I mean the things im saying over a extended period of time. I feel its not that she doesnt know if she wants to do dinner. Its that right now she just isnt quite comfortable with going, but once I can get her there she is all about it. It kinda seems like I need to take things are her pace and keep things fun. We always work best during convos when things are kept light and fun. SLowly get her into feeling more and more comfortable with me. Keep things consistent. Then see what happens. Thoughts??
Just wanted to post a update and get some more thoughts. The game was fun. Had a good time. Things still kinda seemed on edge tho. The next day she went to visit her friends and I said I dont want you to think about all this shiz so just go have fun and ill talk to you in a few days. I wrote her yesterday and for the first time in awhile she wasnt completely short with me and cold as ice.
I am just curious as to how I should proceed. Should I write her daily? Should I write her every few days? It does seem like she at least wanted space from me, but now she has asked to hang out and the convos are SLOWLY getting better.
She did say "IDK" basically about everything from liking me to what she wants to going to dinner. Kinda confusing b/c if she really doesnt have a clue what she is wanting why would she ask me to that game? SHe could of easily went without me. Just wondering on how I should proceed her. I am def making a effort, much more than I ever have. It has just got to the point that something needs to change and Im gonna at least try my ass off b/c its better than doing nothing. Really trying to prove to her I care b/c I do. It is kinda annoying I feel like I have to be perfect tho
. Thanks
I am just curious as to how I should proceed. Should I write her daily? Should I write her every few days? It does seem like she at least wanted space from me, but now she has asked to hang out and the convos are SLOWLY getting better.
She did say "IDK" basically about everything from liking me to what she wants to going to dinner. Kinda confusing b/c if she really doesnt have a clue what she is wanting why would she ask me to that game? SHe could of easily went without me. Just wondering on how I should proceed her. I am def making a effort, much more than I ever have. It has just got to the point that something needs to change and Im gonna at least try my ass off b/c its better than doing nothing. Really trying to prove to her I care b/c I do. It is kinda annoying I feel like I have to be perfect tho
. ThanksAt this point just take it slow and be CONSISTENT. She's being cautious. Sounds like she's opening up again little by little but don't be too pushy 'cause she's still analyzing everything. It takes a long time for us to fully trust again after being let down (might I remind you multiple times) so this is normal (for her). I could understand your confusion but it's simply what you have to endure until she's ready. I would suggest calling her every other day or so as we like our space. If she invited you to the game it means that she still enjoys being in your company and that all is not lost.
I can definitely understand your confusion, and I think you met your match. We Virgos ask ourselves the same questions about you Cancers.
I can definitely understand your confusion, and I think you met your match. We Virgos ask ourselves the same questions about you Cancers.
Ya I def think we are mirroring each other.
We hardly ever talk on the phone. We have got to that point before thought. We just text and then see each other sometimes. When you say dont be pushy what do you mean?? Dont push her to talk about her feelings for me?? Hanging out?? or really anything about moving forward??? When we do text we never talk about anything too important. Just keep it fun. Whenever I do that, when there is no thinking involved we seem to gradually get closer to each other.
Every time we have talked this past week it has been me to initiate the contact. I hate that b/c I have never had to. I fear that is how its gonna have to be though till I can get her trusting me a bit more.
Again why does she keep saying "idk what I want" and such. Is that just some part of protecting her feelings or what? Wearing her shield, etc. Saying Idk what I want is just a cop out to me. Everyone knows at least to some degree what they want. For example, Idk if i want this girl to be my girlfriend at this exact moment, but I know I like her a lot and want to keep talking to see if we can get to that point.
Thanks VirgoVixxxen
We hardly ever talk on the phone. We have got to that point before thought. We just text and then see each other sometimes. When you say dont be pushy what do you mean?? Dont push her to talk about her feelings for me?? Hanging out?? or really anything about moving forward??? When we do text we never talk about anything too important. Just keep it fun. Whenever I do that, when there is no thinking involved we seem to gradually get closer to each other.
Every time we have talked this past week it has been me to initiate the contact. I hate that b/c I have never had to. I fear that is how its gonna have to be though till I can get her trusting me a bit more.
Again why does she keep saying "idk what I want" and such. Is that just some part of protecting her feelings or what? Wearing her shield, etc. Saying Idk what I want is just a cop out to me. Everyone knows at least to some degree what they want. For example, Idk if i want this girl to be my girlfriend at this exact moment, but I know I like her a lot and want to keep talking to see if we can get to that point.
Thanks VirgoVixxxen
She did text me first today for the first time in what seems about 2 weeks. It really felt nice. Yesterday we talked a bit but she ended the convo kinda early and I never wrote her after that. I dont want to push my luck here lol.
Today she wrote me and we talked a bit during the day but she was working so it was constant conversation. But she did get back to me after work and we talked all night. Things were good but she just ignored me at one point and that was how it ended. Could have fell asleep who knows.... but was just updating bc things seem to be progressing slowly. Things sometimes seem like a game to me, but all you virgos assure me that isnt what it is. Analyzing everything lol.
I guess ill just keep up what im doing and see how things go. I cant wait till the point that there isnt any thinking involved. I still havent brought up going to dinner since I brought it up last Friday. I dont know if its a great idea bc things are going in the right direction. I dont want to push her. I did ask to meet her for lunch somtime if she has time and she said she could prol do that. I still just dont know how to proceed but im trying hard.
Today she wrote me and we talked a bit during the day but she was working so it was constant conversation. But she did get back to me after work and we talked all night. Things were good but she just ignored me at one point and that was how it ended. Could have fell asleep who knows.... but was just updating bc things seem to be progressing slowly. Things sometimes seem like a game to me, but all you virgos assure me that isnt what it is. Analyzing everything lol.
I guess ill just keep up what im doing and see how things go. I cant wait till the point that there isnt any thinking involved. I still havent brought up going to dinner since I brought it up last Friday. I dont know if its a great idea bc things are going in the right direction. I dont want to push her. I did ask to meet her for lunch somtime if she has time and she said she could prol do that. I still just dont know how to proceed but im trying hard.
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