The Need to be Needed

Posted by Damnata
When taken to extreme, it turns into a Messiah complex.
We are the sign of service but we should really refrain ourselves from going overboard.

Posted by PVAF
If Pisces=Martyrdom and Virgo=Messiah, does this mean that mean folks like me an Ixion who have both as major placements are doubly fucked in life?? LOL.
Me: Pisces Sun/Virgo moon

Posted by andsssssss
people have broken up with me coz they said i didn't need them. wtf. wimminz what do they want eh lol. actually that was a pisces not a virgo but same axis non?

Posted by LilyTree

Posted by VirgoChyld

Posted by Damnata
When taken to extreme, it turns into a Messiah complex.
We are the sign of service but we should really refrain ourselves from going overboard.

True, as Virgo I am sure most of us find it hard to put our own needs first at times to balance out the equation

I sometimes wonder if I should have needed my virgo more. But I understood that not being able to physically be there for me was very hard for him, and I didn't want to make it worse. I can imagine how frustrating it must be to want to be there for someone but not being able to.
I often reminded him to express himself, and to not sacrifice so much to spare others. I don't hesitate to let how I feel about any one situation be known, so his ability to give of himself and put himself on the back burner, so to speak, was at first mind-boggling and confusing and later, inspirational.

click to expand

Posted by firebunny
...is true. @_@ I always want to be of help to other people. I feel sad when people don't ask for my help or feel that I'm not capable of helping them. @_@

Posted by LilyTree
Am I wrong in this way of thinking? This topic may be moot in my case as I believe this isn't the reason for us going our separate ways. However, it could be helpful to understand and reflect on.
Thank you very much for your words. I really appreciate it.

Posted by LilyTree

Posted by VirgoChyld

Posted by LilyTree
Am I wrong in this way of thinking? This topic may be moot in my case as I believe this isn't the reason for us going our separate ways. However, it could be helpful to understand and reflect on.
Thank you very much for your words. I really appreciate it.

Well you did your part and he has to see that you needed him. And you shown that, as a Virgo we have trouble seeing what is good for us at times. The forest for the trees effect. I understand you gave him space and the physical distance played a part in this relationship.
Depending on the person that varies on what is the meaning. When "I" need someone that means who is gonna show up when I need to be there, support me at my weakest, encourage me at my strongest. He will come to realize what you meant and tried to show him. Your welcome. Your not wrong for thinking this way, it is how you process what has happened.

I understand. Can I ask you a question? Do you like it when people believe in you when you yourself doubt you're own abilities? Or do you prefer that they just listen to you talk about your worries and doubts without reassuring you because the positive reassurance feels like they aren't listening or are being dismissive of your concerns? For example, you get a job with responsibilities you don't think you're qualified to handle, and your s/o shows faith in you and that you can do it.

click to expand

Posted by LilyTree

Posted by justagirl

Posted by firebunny
...is true. @_@ I always want to be of help to other people. I feel sad when people don't ask for my help or feel that I'm not capable of helping them. @_@

I need your help... I have windows to wash, laundry to put away..
I love helping others, I get a warm feeling when I know I can do something to make someone feel better or cheer them up, I think its my Virgo placements as well as being an Aqua sun.

I don't think loving to help others is the same as NEEDING to help or needing to be needed. In my experience, I've found that most people love to help as it fulfills a natural human desire for connection, and it builds ego and the feeling of belonging and importance.

click to expand

Posted by LilyTree
Is it that you need to be needed, or that you need to be productive? Are these two things mutually exclusive?

Posted by Layna
Intensified by your Leo Moon? :p

Posted by PVAF

Posted by firebunny
...is true. @_@ I always want to be of help to other people. I feel sad when people don't ask for my help or feel that I'm not capable of helping them. @_@

I'm sure you do lots to help people Bunny, the Virgo in you would have it no other way. Needy people concern me though. @_@ I'd rather be wanted, than needed. Do you attract lots of needy people?

click to expand

Posted by Damnata
When taken to extreme, it turns into a Messiah complex.
We are the sign of service but we should really refrain ourselves from going overboard.

Posted by duchessedenemours
I feel this as well. I want others to need me. Not in a messiah way, but simply I want to know I'm a necessary part of their life. I would want people to know they can count on me.

Posted by soultalk

Posted by firebunny
I can't get the smiley... @_@

^^ one? try : '( without any spaces

click to expand

Posted by soultalk

Posted by firebunny

Posted by soultalk

Posted by firebunny
I can't get the smiley... @_@

^^ one? try : '( without any spaces

Thanks.

lmao. cheer up!!

click to expand

Posted by soultalk

Posted by firebunny

Posted by duchessedenemours
I feel this as well. I want others to need me. Not in a messiah way, but simply I want to know I'm a necessary part of their life. I would want people to know they can count on me.

I feel bad when people forget that I've helped them. IDKY. @_@

maybe coz that makes you feel like you don't matter to them? people can take you for granted if you go overboard. help if they are in genuine need or ask for it, otherwise they are just going to assume you are by default gonna do their work for them.

click to expand

Posted by soultalk

Posted by firebunny

Posted by soultalk

Posted by firebunny

Posted by duchessedenemours
I feel this as well. I want others to need me. Not in a messiah way, but simply I want to know I'm a necessary part of their life. I would want people to know they can count on me.

I feel bad when people forget that I've helped them. IDKY. @_@

maybe coz that makes you feel like you don't matter to them? people can take you for granted if you go overboard. help if they are in genuine need or ask for it, otherwise they are just going to assume you are by default gonna do their work for them.

Thanks for the advice. I also get jealous about other people being recognized for their help. Makes me want to help more. @_@

lol! just go with the flow, it's not a bad thing. eventually, as you mature you will start doing things for yourself, like helping because you want to, then it won't hurt as much. or even not helping because you don't want to. that will be ok too. and people won't leave you because you stopped helping, they will infact think what made you change and make more effort to reach out to you. lol not saying you should act to get this reaction, just saying in time you will be more focused on yourself and then other people won't make this much of an impact

click to expand