the virgo supremacy

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by preciousbeauty on Friday, July 28, 2006 and has 7 replies.
I am an aries woman who has found her virgo love from 11 years ago. It is like we have picked up where we left off and I am so grateful to have him in my life again. I am going through a divorce with a leo that he begged me not to go back to when we parted 11 years ago. I knew that I loved this man, but I also knew that my heart was elsewhere and I didn't want to be with him knowing that my heart didn't totally belong to him. I had all of these questions about the leo and now they have all been answered in the most revealing ways possible which is why I am divorcing him. I haven't seen my virgo baby for 11 years and then last week, we ran into each other and have been talking every day since. The problem is, we are right back where we left off, I am attached to someone and to be fair to my virgo sweetheart, we both decided to wait until my divorce is final and see what happens with us. I told him I have to take it VERY, VERY slow because I was not expecting this. I don't want to take this drama and baggage into a relationship with him because he deserves all of me. He is sweet, genuine and loyal, and sexy as hell and has always treated me like precious gold. Nothing seems to have changed. Yet, I am afraid. I am afraid to believe. I have been through a lot and as hard as it is, I try not to take the crap of the leo into my friendship with the virgo but I find that it is very difficult and easier said than done. He (my virgo) says that he wants to love me past my pain and will not lose me again this time. He doesn't want to go another 11 years without me. Any advice on how not to screw this up?
It's the nature of all us humans to cling to something that feels safe. So, it's not surprising to me when you said, "we are right back where we left off". Because where you left off, seems beautiful in your memory, naturally, you'll find safety in believing that nothing has changed in 11 years. It's called, the "Re-bound", which we all know exists. This isn't your fault to be disillusioned, we all suffer from this erroneous feeling of WANTING to find something to hold onto, to pull us through. By disillusioned, I mean . . of course, things have changed.
However, what sounds really beautiful in your post is that this Virgo man knows this, though, he's not telling you. He's wants to protect your feelings and isn't that one of the many reasons we love these people so much in the first place? He said, "he wants to love me past my pain". In this statement, he is admitting to himself that you are on the re-bound and will wait for you to come around to feeling secure within yourself, rather than just secure within him.
So, the advise is . . . just remember our hurt can overshadow our joy at these times. Let the pain pass with full self-awareness and a wonderful V-man will be waiting on the other end. Which, in fact, you already know because you said, "I told him I have to take it VERY, VERY slow because I was not expecting this. I don't want to take this drama and baggage into a relationship with him because he deserves all of me"
Yes, he does sound sweet and so do you.
Beautiful story, though, I'm sorry your experience with your Leo went sour and you had to endure hardships.
Thank you for you response, you have given me somethings to think about. You are right, we are well aware that of course in 11 years we have changed, but the core of who we are and know each other to be is still somewhat the same. We want to take the time to get to know where we are and what has changed and whether or not we can be friends or make it as a couple somewhere down the line. You are correct, he is and has always been very protective of my feelings. Even when we parted he didn't SHOW me anger or hurt, but he simply said if this "leo" is going to make you happy, I want you to be happy. I know that I hurt him and I hate that I hurt him, but he has assured me that he just wants to work through it and work through my divorce because he feels that I should have been his wife all along. That stays with me and he has been a part of me for all of these years. I don't want to be so fearful. I don't want to close the door before it even opens. He seems to have so much faith in me restoring and healing and that is wonderful, yet uncomfortable for me. I am not used to being treated with such consideration and sweetness and because I am acclimated to being mistreated, my virgo baby may have a hard time breaking down these walls I have developed over time and I don't want to be that way with him. He is amazing, needless to say. His critical side has developed into something constructive for me, which is different than how he was before. His views are more well rounded now and we have always communicated very well. He just seems "too good to be true" again to be and I don't want that to cause me to run in the other direction because I am used to the pain coming at me from just around the corner, ya know? I care about him deeply and I am thankful that we met again, it was a beautiful surprise. I just don't want to mess it up because of how much hurt I still have to work through.
"I just don't want to mess it up because of how much hurt I still have to work through."
You won't, you know your path. And if you should veer unintentionally down a hidden trail, he'll be there to hold your hand while you find the road again.
Love is beautiful, isn't it?
I don't know what you mean by your comments, but my story is just that...MY STORY. But the update is that my sweet virgo turned out to have changed quite a bit and I am glad that I was paying attention. He has had someone at his house this entire weekend which is why he met me at his friends this whole weekend. I've been with him and his children the whole weekend only to find out that he had an out of town guest. What baffled me is how he's had me around these beautiful children and then takes them home to another woman, I am sure his daughter was wondering what the heck was going on. She's 14 and we hit it off about boys and abstinence and teenage questions, she is a sweetheart. She asked me if she could ride in my car back to her father's house(my virgo...used to be). When we arrived that's when he decided to tell the truth that I couldn't come up because he had company. The night before I was wondering why we stayed so long at his friends and why we didn't go back to his house, he tried to say that he wanted to stay and continue to play video game Madden with his friends, when the TRUTH was that he had someone at his house already. He tried to sugar coat it Saturday by saying that was the truth, I told him NO LOVE, that was a half truth, you told me just enough and what you wanted me to know. I'm divorcing someone like that already, I won't go through that again. I told him this morning that I don't like being told lies and half truths and that I am too precious to be just another knotch on his belt and he knows it. The example he is setting for his children, having all of these women around them is unsettling as well. Not to mention there are four children, by four different women. This weekend opened my eyes wide. I am not impressed with him spending the whole weekend with me and leaving another women at his house to stew. He could have easily told me the truth and chose not to. I told him that I have a lot to work through anyway and we just met again at the wrong time. I will always care for him, but oh well, that's all water under the bridge now huh?
Wow, that is some story. I'm sorry it isn't "Happily ever after." I always root for the happy ending.
Strange though. In a lot of these threads and in my own personal experience there seems to always be some very strong connections as well as some deceitful/betraying type of behavior between Aries & Virgo couples.
In my case, preciousbeauty, the signs are reversed, I'm a Virgo and the guy was an Aries. We had an off and on thing over the last 15 years. Mostly off because I would be fed up with the selfishness and his 1/2 truthing all over the place. I kept running into him and I know that we've both had a very deep connection with each other so I would always hope for better things for him and from him, but it never happened.
Now he just keeps calling me even though I've told him repeatedly to stop. I can't remember the last time I answered his phone calls, maybe months, but he's still calling. Annoying.
Anyway, you deserve better than 1/2 truths from a guy with 4 baby mammas. The very least a person can give you is the truth.
He is 40 years old and will be 41 soon. It is very disconcerting. He is calling all of the time and texting me when I don't answer the phone or leaving a gazillion voice messages. Relentless. His 14 year old daughter, who I adore, called me trying to encourage me to hear her father out. She explained it when he couldn't bring himself to do it. This girl has been a friend to the family for years and is trying to move here and she crashed at his place. That is why he left her there because she was APPARENTLY not here to be with him. That I understand, what I don't understand is WHY NOT JUST TELL ME THAT? WHY HIDE IT? Well, his daughter said he told the girl that he was seeing me and his daughter kept mentioning me (the little vixen hahahahahaha!!) and asking him how we met and why we were not together all these years and he had to answer her, in front of this FRIEND. I am fine with that, but like I told her, all he had to do was tell me. She said he told the girl that I was in the process of a divorce from a man who had several adulterous affairs and that he was afraid of how I would look at their friendship. Which he may have a point, I have to at least admit that. Now, my phone is filled with messages about please hear me out, I really care about you and want to be with you, and I know I was wrong and didn't handle this situation well, please talk to me. I text him and told him that I am a woman of integrity and I will always give 100% to whomever I am with and I expect the man in my life to be honorable as well, if not more. I won't tolerate being lied to or having things hidden from me. As soon as the trust is broken, that is it and where I am in my life right now, there are certain risks I refuse to take with my heart. I will protect it. I told him that the situation with these mothers is the craziest thing I have ever seen. But, I could deal with that, but not the lying. I am supposed to see him today. If not for his daughter I wouldn't be doing that. She asked me not to tell him that she called me, but she likes me a lot and wants me in her life and her father's life. She says he has been talking about me for years and now that she has met me, she knows why he is trying so hard to keep me. Any Advice?