to the NICE guys...!

You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she's such a Heartless Bi**h for dumping him."

I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like sh**, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."

If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.

What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.

Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...

Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.

They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight; she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.

Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.

Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of compromising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."

The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people ou

Agreed.

Being nice is just a wrong way of usage of primal instincts. Nice or not nice, the source is same. Both are satisfaction of primal instints. The nice guy just don't know the "right wavelenght".

Oh my god.....are Q-bone and Haffo agreeing!!! - champagne glasses, wine, caviar!!! sky-rockets in the nite!!!!..............me thinketh it's the end of the world.........:-) I need counselling:-)!!!!! - when two worlds collide!!!!

OK now I am containing myself!!!!!!!!!!!

Q - you've done it again man.........!!!Ring you later this evening if you are free.

A x


PS. Haffo, I don't have your number YET!:-)

I'm glad you're adding new words to your vocabulary, haffo-- however I don't think nice or not nice has anything to do with "primal instincts". Insecurity is not "primal"- it's emotion at a higher level that can only be limited through personal growth. Our "primal" instincts have to do with survival- and whether we feel good about ourselves or not is overridden by the need to eat, sleep and procreate.

Anyway, I know you think I'm picking on you.. but I'm not. Acutally, I disagree with you both (both you and Q).

Q, what you describe above is not a "nice guy"- but rather a sucka! My idea of a "nice guy" respects women- loves himself- and doesn't feel he needs to put on an act to attract those he loves. He is who he is.

That beast you describe above can be a "nice guy" or a "jerk". Whatever he is called depends on the woman who is stepping on him as she walks away.

"Damn.. I am going to kill myself?!!"

Oh no, you're not...........remember the maf! are after me!!!!.......I need your protection!!!:-) - don't worry anyone else....private joke between me and Q here!!!

A x

PS - Will ring you tonite Mister!!!

STD

Love your idea about ?nice guy? and ?sucker??!

You are right and I am agree with you 200% ? but those who consider them selves as a ?nice guys?..—

They?ll never get agree with us..!

THE INFAMOUS ?NICE GUY SYMPTOMS?

You know what and who I mean?😉

Thanks for you lovely post.

You come to me my lovely Alana..

You don?t need protections.. you need my love and closeness..🙂

And you know that..!

STD

I didn't say nice = primal instinct. I said nice is a result of misuse of primal instinct.

and I'M saying they have nothing to do with each other-- misuse or otherwise.

A man who tries to approach woman by being nice simply misusing his primal instinct because he has many insecurities about showing his true self. Well not always but most of the time. There are people as you said who truly respect women, but how many of them? I gues most of them just plain guys as I describe above.

I gues most of them are just plain insecure guys as I described above.

We don't want to hear about you petting your rooster either 😉

Since DXP deleting posts.. I won?t bother to say much... but those in my PM list on messengers know what I meant...

And I am glad for it...

Listen moderator... no mater who you are and what you think...!

Those who are like minds... are like minds... and you can?t change their attitudes...

The know ways to communicate without your interruptions!!.. it has really no effects..... really..!!
So you can delete whatever you want.... or whish... my posts are saved in text editor and will be shared with friends anyway...

So.. delete what you want.. lol

You know that I am anti idiots... you anti me..??... well you explain yourself anyway

Someone in particular..??.. naw.. everyone gets what they need of my posts

Offensive or none offensive

🙂

Haffo: A man who tries to approach woman by being nice simply misusing his primal instinct because he has many insecurities about showing his true self. Well not always but most of the time. There are people as you said who truly respect women, but how many of them? I gues most of them just plain guys as I describe above.

A primal instinct is not used or misused-- it's an instinct- it is involuntary! A man being nice to woman he approaches is an extention of his personality (and I see nothing wrong with it, if his "niceness" is from a genuine place).

Personality and Instinct are mutually exclusive!!

Also, in another post, I never agreed with the idea of being nice is a sign of weakness.. especially if it comes from the heart.

Furthermore your question of There are people as you said who truly respect women, but how many of them? Depends on personal perspective... and whether you truly embody the respect yourself. I am sure we disagree on the answer to this question as well.

Finally, whether most.. or some.. or all.. guys are insecure is not important. A sign of insecurity, is not primal either (nor stemming from any use of it). If anything, insecurity is learned behavior due to social interactions.. we learn to be insecure of ourselves. I think the overall point of the post is insecurity itself should be overcome- not have ourselves be overcome by it. Those who wallow in it are doomed to that "nice guy".

Since my posts get deleted by idiots.. (fishes).. I have nothing to say.. couple of more of this.. well——..

those who know me? also know where to locate me?.. as I have said.. keep deleting my posts? it helps to reminds me how I hate you and this idiot site.. and it makes me finally to stop posting things here..

Boards getting 214 any way?. DXP is BS compare to what I deal with everyday..

so delete posts?

do I personally care..??... lol

Think again??.

oh.. you were bad boy, then?

11 Fishes in my life.... my lady.. all were stupid... so far..!

🙂

logic says?? 3 times and no more??

I am above logic?

I'm sure they don't know what you think about them. This makes you very coward person. If they knew what you were thinking about them they would tell you to butt off.

If you have problems with cancers?? well.. It is your problem..!! I love one of those dearly..!

But FISH?es are idiots ..!!

How hard they are!?! Naw?..They are idiots anyway—.!!

They may think that they know something, but they know nothing. eternal idiots—?!

Fishes..!!! Aka Pisceans

Fishes?lol

I don?t care for what you say lady.. it?s is you idea an I respected it..

But fishes are stupid.. no matter what you say?..!!

"They may think that they know something, but they know nothing. eternal idiots—?!"

LOL, I have to say you have us all figured out ... I think that describes pisces perfectly... eternal idiots!

Just curious, you really know 11 pisceans? b/c I myself have meet only a few others upto now...hmm, they must be attracted to you for some reason...it seems like you have a pisces magnet thing going...even though you can't stand them...they apparently won't leave you alone. I'm just kidding.

I kinda agree with what you have to say about so called nice guys...I myself never find them particularly interesting...you are right about the insecurity thing ...I think you should always be yourself and nothing less.

Good topic Mr.Q.

Another stinky fish. 😉

Melusine

Why do you boost his ego?

To Ms M.

Yes I really know 11 fishes?I hope I m not offending you

Some idiots may try their powers?

And I have no choice to set theirs idiocy back. Where it is belong

Haffo everyone is entitled to his/her opinion.
I think Mr.Q is talking from his personal experience with fishes...
He must have met quite a few of them that he didn't like...
I myself don't like someone just b/c they are piscean or virgo.
Also, I'm not into the group herding thing...
after all astrology is just for fun...it doesn't define who I am.

No offence Ms M

No, Mr.Q, all is well.

glad to hear it...

you are great.. ms M

🙂

So are you Mr.Q. 🙂

Sounds like deliberate ass licking.

sounds like someone is idiot------------

And proving it........constantly........
🙂

See you idiot?!

You are the reason that no one post anything---------- because of you idiocy..


get the he ell of

NOW?.

You have nothing to do in here you idiot..!!
This topic is not for you..!!

" You are the reason that no one post anything---------- "

Nope. I posted normal answer and you turned into Nazi. Then moderator deleted your posts and people left posting here because of YOU not me.

" This topic is not for you..!!"

You are true idiot if you think like that. You are not the boss of this place to decide who will post and who will not. We all are free to post anywhere.

I?ve told you once to get LOST...and still saying this? GET LOST?! Nobody needs your idiot opinion?!!

Cry cry..

"Nobody needs your idiot opinion?!!"

I do not post because somebody needs it or not. I do what I think right to do.

"i think you post because you like to antagonize."

Give me an example where I tried to antogonize by my post in this topic.

I'm stil wondering where is my example? (scratches ass)🙂

That?s him alright.. universal chameleon..

Stealing things? like personalities and ideas?

This ability is also a trait.