Virgo guy is unstable...

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by CapricornGirl24 on Wednesday, February 27, 2013 and has 50 replies.
So , I've been on here a few times talking about my personal experience with a Virguy & I'm looking for more insight . I've know him for years & we started talking almost 2 yrs. ago . He lost a loved one to violence shortly after we started to get a little serious & hasn't been the same since . Females came out of no where . At first , I thought nothing of it . He had just lost a loved one , so I expected emotional support from any/everybody he knew . My problem was the way these girls were behaving ; they were flirting . I think he enjoyed it a bit too much b/c he started to drift away from . I addressed it (in a calm way ) & he straightened up a tad bit . But as time went by , he continued on & off . Eventually , after addressing it repeatedly, he told me that he wanted me to enjoy my life & that I'm young ; there's a lot going on that I don't know , etc . Basically , it came off as if he wanted to have his cake & eat it too . Like he wanted the freedom to do whatever he wants with whomever he wants , but I'm suppose to stick around . I'm not too fond of a guy wanting have his cake & eat it too . Long story short , we've spoke a few times the past 3 or 4 months & we're no longer on good terms . We got into an arguement & I apologized to him for the way I went off ; I meant what I said , I just didn't mean for it to come out so harshly . But after thinking about it , I realized , I'd done nothing wrong & I shouldn't be the one always apologizing when I fall short . I told him this & he tried to convince me once again that he wants me to just live me life , but don't burn my bridge with him . I gave no reaction to it & he IMMEDIATELY threw a temper tantrum . Why would he do that ? If he's not doing the necessary things to make me wanna stay (which are VERY simple things) , plus pretty much pushing me away , why does he get upset when I go ? Is he expecting me to fight for him ? Could it mean he knows for sure he wants me , but he also knows he isn't ready right now ? Does he mean what he says about wanting to be with me ? And if so, how will I know ? What will he do to show it ? Words don't mean anything to me ; I have to actually see it. He's made small , VERY small, efforts but Idk if it was just to make me believe him so that he could string me along or if it was a sincere... This is by far the BIGGEST emotional rollercoaster I've ever been on .
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I get the impression he's pushing for you to move on, but he wants the two of you to still be friends or cordial.
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Hi CapricornGirl, are you really into this guy? Cos it sounds like the "emotional role roaster" is really exhausting!
And,
I agree with Inana. Also, it sounds like he is a tad selfish or doesn't really know what he wants? Either way I hope you sort it...
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*roller coaster
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I had a virgo ex... he is classic example of wanting his cake and eating it too. He felt superior to everyone and entitled to that. So I don't know if that was just him or a typical virgo male. I have a virgo brother. Great brother, but I feel sorry for my sister in law. He treats her shitty, cheats, but expects her to be grateful. She needs to stop being a doormat. She is a libra.
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Posted by lnana04
I get the impression he's pushing for you to move on, but he wants the two of you to still be friends or cordial.


Yeah, this is what I got. Maybe even FWB...still wants access to her, but no commitment (freedom to play with other girls)...
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Do you know each other charts? if do not I need both b days time and place.
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Posted by lnana04
I get the impression he's pushing for you to move on, but he wants the two of you to still be friends or cordial.


Well if so, that won't be easy . I've developed feelings . Plus he hasn't been all that honest with me , so I feel if I can't trust him as a lover , how/why should I consider him a friend still ? Friends don't lie to eachother .
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Posted by wagtail
Hi CapricornGirl, are you really into this guy? Cos it sounds like the "emotional role roaster" is really exhausting!
And,
I agree with Inana. Also, it sounds like he is a tad selfish or doesn't really know what he wants? Either way I hope you sort it...


I w really into him at one point . Now I don't know what to think of him. In the midst of all the craziness , after he lost his loved one & girls were all over him all of a sudden , he opened up to me once . After his loss , he was so guarded ; no matter how much I tried to get him to talk about what he was feeling , it's like he'd talk around the question instead of just doing it . So I stopped asking & I told myself, if he knew deep in his heart that he could trust me he'll open up on his own . Shortly after , he finally did it . I've known him for years but I never witnessed this side of him . He seemed so genuine & grounded . And the fact that he chose to open up to me made me feel like I was special to him . Idk why , I just feel like it took a lot for him to do it. But like I said this was in the midst of all the craziness & before he told me to live my life . Plus while opening up , he tsaid "to be honest Idk what I want". After listening to how much of an impact losing his loved one effected him , it immediately hit me that this guy cannot handle a relationship . So, instead of me complaining, I looked at his feelings first & I asked him do you wanna take a break from the whole relationship thing or do you just wanna stop . He told me he wanted neither . But as time went by , I was the one getting hurt . It's like he wants me to listen to what he says , do what he says & take his feelings into consideration . But he's been ignoring mine .
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Posted by TaureanVirgo
Posted by lnana04
I get the impression he's pushing for you to move on, but he wants the two of you to still be friends or cordial.


Yeah, this is what I got. Maybe even FWB...still wants access to her, but no commitment (freedom to play with other girls)...
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I dont d friends with benifits , lol . I'm a very disciplined person . I have to know where the situation is headed . There has to be an offical comitted relationship before I even sleep with a guy , I would never be intimate with someone who's only a "friend" and nothing more . And that's exactly how I felt . Like he wanted access to me , no commitment & freedom to play with other girls . Which exactly what I hear he's been doing . Stringing these girls along with false hopes of a comittment . I refuse to be a part of that . He made this mess , I'm not cleaning it up . When these girls came out of no where , he gravitated towards them . I was pushed away ; I'm STILL being pushed away . All b/c I refuse to behave like one of his groupies . I found out there were a few girls referring to him as their "boo"/"baby" so I cut off all contact with him . He noticed & got upset with me . But why ? I had explained to him what I will/won't accept . It got to a point where it was as if he was trying to stay steps ahead of me in games I was never playing with him . He'd throw other girls in my face as if he wanted me to feel guilty for leaving . It was so annoying . Especially when I''ve seen these girls behaviors & know for a fact they don't care about him at all . I'm positive I NEVER gave him reasons to doubt me , so where is it coming from . I'm guessing it comes from whatever his ex did to him ; he talked about it a few times out of no where . Clearly, he has a problem with trust . But why am I paying for her mistakes ? Smh .
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Posted by virgoking
Do you know each other charts? if do not I need both b days time and place.


I know nothing about charts . Just that, according to sun signs, Cappy's and Virgo's are suppose to be the "perfect match" . But I know it goes beyond that . My birthday is Dec. 24th . His is Sept. 11th . We both live/were born in Syracuse, NY . Idk if you need the birth year too , but it's 1991 for both of us .
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Posted by CapricornGirl24
Posted by virgoking
Do you know each other charts? if do not I need both b days time and place.


I know nothing about charts . Just that, according to sun signs, Cappy's and Virgo's are suppose to be the "perfect match" . But I know it goes beyond that . My birthday is Dec. 24th . His is Sept. 11th . We both live/were born in Syracuse, NY . Idk if you need the birth year too , but it's 1991 for both of us .
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Ok your mercury is in sag and his is in virgo, sag and virgo is not good vibrations so a lot of miss communication here. His venus is in leo your is in scorpio so you guys ideas about romance are at odds. But his venus is connect to your moon in leo so he really does like you men go into relationships base of there moon and venus sign. So It looks like he give you what you want emotionally but not what you want romantically.
But what I see here is that this more of a problem with YOU than him your venus and moon are at odds with each other. So basically what you want emotionally is at odd with what you want romantically. So to him you are giving mix messages, this is just a quick glance if I had birth time I could go deeper Hope this helps you.
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Here is both of your charts
Sun Virgo 18.22
Moon Libra 28.56
Mercury Virgo 1.12
Venus Leo 21.03 R
Mars Libra 6.41
Jupiter Leo 29.52
Saturn Aquarius 0.38 R
Uranus Capricorn 9.51 R
Neptune Capricorn 14.03 R
Pluto Scorpio 18.09
Lilith Capricorn 15.22
Asc node Capricorn 16.53
Sun Capricorn 2.20
Moon Leo 17.24
Mercury Sagittarius 10.34
Venus Scorpio 21.37
Mars Sagittarius 18.25
Jupiter Virgo 14.34
Saturn Aquarius 5.03
Uranus Capricorn 13.15
Neptune Capricorn 15.57
Pluto Scorpio 21.53
Lilith Capricorn 26.57
Asc node Capricorn 9.48
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"Plus while opening up , he tsaid "to be honest Idk what I want". After listening to how much of an impact losing his loved one effected him , it immediately hit me that this guy cannot handle a relationship . So, instead of me complaining, I looked at his feelings first & I asked him do you wanna take a break from the whole relationship thing or do you just wanna stop . He told me he wanted neither . But as time went by , I was the one getting hurt . It's like he wants me to listen to what he says , do what he says & take his feelings into consideration . But he's been ignoring mine ."

You didn't need to ask him if he wanted to take a break. When someone says "to be honest Idk what I want" is a red flag to get away and let him figure it out. You can't do that for him. As you can see by trying to do so you are getting hurt by it. Tell him to figure it out and walk away, stop trying to fix something he won't even acknowledge. Good luck!
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Posted by LetltB
"Plus while opening up , he tsaid "to be honest Idk what I want". After listening to how much of an impact losing his loved one effected him , it immediately hit me that this guy cannot handle a relationship . So, instead of me complaining, I looked at his feelings first & I asked him do you wanna take a break from the whole relationship thing or do you just wanna stop . He told me he wanted neither . But as time went by , I was the one getting hurt . It's like he wants me to listen to what he says , do what he says & take his feelings into consideration . But he's been ignoring mine ."

You didn't need to ask him if he wanted to take a break. When someone says "to be honest Idk what I want" is a red flag to get away and let him figure it out. You can't do that for him. As you can see by trying to do so you are getting hurt by it. Tell him to figure it out and walk away, stop trying to fix something he won't even acknowledge. Good luck!


Yea, I realized later that his statement was clearly a red flag . That's why a part of me regrets not listening to my own instinct . But that's exactly what I'm doing now . Walking away a letting him figure it out for himself . I ended it by telling him exactly that & I haven't spoke to him since . What trips me up is , how he says he wants me to enjo my life , yet the minute he's under the impression that I'm moving on or taking interest in another guy , he blocks it. That's what I mean by "emotional rollercoaster". I care for him A LOT , but I'm not gonna be treated like a doormat & accept any ol' thing just so that I can say I have him . He tells me to go & then gets upset if I actually attempt to leave .
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CapricornGirl, the problem is that you tried to restrict his freedom. No matter what other people say on your thread, the problem started when you tried to restrict his freedom and control him because of your own insecurity.

Now you are asking people what he is thinking. How can you actually know what another person is thinking? Does he know what YOU are thinking?
The second problem CapricornGirl is that you are thinking too much. Logic can only take you so far in a relationship. Focus on how he makes makes you feel pod, keep him. If he makes you feel bad, leave him.
Lenore0908, I don't see it as "restricting his freedom" or me being insecure (he called me insecure, too). I don't care what other girls are doing ; they can try anything they want. My problem with him was that , instead of putting them out his face, he entertained it like I didn't matter. He's spent time with these girls & barely had any for me. When I went to him about it his response was "we're just friends right now, there's no need to blow it out of proportion". To me, that's BS. If he's telling that we're working towards a relationship one minute & out of no where switches up like it's not that serious I have a problem with that . I take relationships seriously. There have been plenty of guys that approached me, but I turned them away b/c I wanted Virguy . I was sure of it. I didn't get that same respect back. When he's not being an A-hole, he's the sweetest guy I've ever known. I can't really explain the feeling I get other than warmth and love. But when he behaves like he is now, it makes me wonder if he really cared at all or was it just what I wanted to believe. But Idk b/c he's so gaurded. He's open up once & I swear , I've never seen that side of him . I loved it. But it seems like he gets scared of "exposing" himself . Like he thinks he let me a little too close & got scared so he closed up again. I hear that's just how they are. I get it. I can be the exact same way. But I would never play games with him or do things out of spite to hurt him , like he's done to me .
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Posted by virgoking
Posted by CapricornGirl24
Posted by virgoking
Do you know each other charts? if do not I need both b days time and place.


I know nothing about charts . Just that, according to sun signs, Cappy's and Virgo's are suppose to be the "perfect match" . But I know it goes beyond that . My birthday is Dec. 24th . His is Sept. 11th . We both live/were born in Syracuse, NY . Idk if you need the birth year too , but it's 1991 for both of us .

Ok your mercury is in sag and his is in virgo, sag and virgo is not good vibrations so a lot of miss communication here. His venus is in leo your is in scorpio so you guys ideas about romance are at odds. But his venus is connect to your moon in leo so he really does like you men go into relationships base of there moon and venus sign. So It looks like he give you what you want emotionally but not what you want romantically.
But what I see here is that this more of a problem with YOU than him your venus and moon are at odds with each other. So basically what you want emotionally is at odd with what you want romantically. So to him you are giving mix messages, this is just a quick glance if I had birth time I could go deeper Hope this helps you.
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It helps a little bit . Idk his time of birth , but mine is 10:45pm. And that's EXACTLY what It is... MISS COMMUNICATION. I feel like he always misses the point I'm trying to make . I know what he means, but at the same time I'm like, why can't we find some kind of common ground where we both get what we want instead always fighting to get a point across . I'll have no problem fulfilling his EVERY need, but my needs have to be met too . It's a 2-way street. I'm the kind of person that has no problem pleasing the one who has my heart as long as he's doing the same. Even if it takes me out of my confort zone a bit. That's the point I've tried to make over & OVER again , but he always seems to miss it !! Lol .
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Posted by Lenore0908
You should have just acted nonchalant. You ruined it. And you keep blaming him instead of working on your weak areas. He ditched you and you have the nerve to get defensive. How the hell are you supposed to change another person?? You can only change yourself. It's cool though, mistakes are how you learn. But you won't be able to learn and grow from this until you can admit that you screwed up.


How did I screw up ? I didn't have guys on the side ; he had girls on the side. He's telling me one thing , but showing me another . So what exactly are my weak areas, lol? I am being nonchalant ; I have been . Like I said , the last time we spoke I ended it by pretty much telling him to figure it what he wants . I'm not interested in changing him . There's just things I won't accept. Either he's gonna meet them or he won't . Either way , I'm cool. He tells me to go & then gets upset if I attempt to & starts blocking if he thinks I'm taking interest in another guy. Either he's gonna be here or he's not . He won't compromise, so how exactly am I wrong ? Does he expect me to fight for him ? If so, just what exactly would I be fighting for ? He didn't give me much worth fight for ; don't mean to sound harsh. But that's how I feel . Nothing solid, just words. At the same time though , I see where I should take some blame . He told me he wasn't ready & I knew that . So I'm wondering, if he means what he says & wants to work it out later, would it be fair to hold these things against him when I know he's not in his right state of mind & he clearly said to me that he didn't know what he wanted ? ... But there's also the fact that , he's telling me this & telling me to go, but throws tantrums if I attempt to leave . I'd be telling the BIGGEST lie if I said I don't care about him or I no longer have feelings for him. But it's not fair for me to wait around for him to be "ready" & being hurt in the process . He's not looking at it like that . He's not taking into consideration that I was being hurt . But he wants me to listen to EVERY word his says & go along with it .
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You are a virgo riser his pluto is in your 3rd house of communication here is a little break down.
When your Pluto is in your romantic partner??s third house, your influence can bring about a total change in his or her thinking. You tend to express your ideas forcefully, exerting control over your partner??s ideas. So thats what he is doing to you.
His Saturn is in your 5th house Saturn is the planet of restriction, so When Saturn is in your fifth house, he may see you as wasting both time and talent indulging an urge to have immediate gratification and fun. He is very likely to see this as your problem with anything fun, creative, or sexual, and decide that you are just too inhibited and restraining by nature.
His sun is in your first house so you may see him as very attractive he has a lot of influence on your self a stem and this is why your trying to get some control. His moon is in your 12 house so there is kind physic connect between you two you become more sensitive to his needs.
Looks like he has a lot of control here and you don't like it, I wish I had his birth time so I could see what he is feeling.
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Here is your chart
Sun Capricorn 2.50 Ascendant Virgo 17.02
Moon Leo 24.44 II Libra 11.22
Mercury Sagittarius 10.58 III Scorpio 10.50
Venus Scorpio 22.13 IV Sagittarius 14.34
Mars Sagittarius 18.47 V Capricorn 19.06
Jupiter Virgo 14.34 VI Aquarius 20.19
Saturn Aquarius 5.07 VII Pisces 17.02
Uranus Capricorn 13.16 VIII Aries 11.22
Neptune Capricorn 15.58 IX Taurus 10.50
Pluto Scorpio 21.54 Midheaven Gemini 14.34
Lilith Capricorn 27.01 XI Cancer 19.06
Asc node Capricorn 9.48 XII Leo
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Virgoking... since ur so good at analyzing charts. Can I send you mine? smile pls
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Posted by kindleberry
Virgoking... since ur so good at analyzing charts. Can I send you mine? smile pls

sure
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Posted by virgoking
You are a virgo riser his pluto is in your 3rd house of communication here is a little break down.
When your Pluto is in your romantic partner??s third house, your influence can bring about a total change in his or her thinking. You tend to express your ideas forcefully, exerting control over your partner??s ideas. So thats what he is doing to you.
His Saturn is in your 5th house Saturn is the planet of restriction, so When Saturn is in your fifth house, he may see you as wasting both time and talent indulging an urge to have immediate gratification and fun. He is very likely to see this as your problem with anything fun, creative, or sexual, and decide that you are just too inhibited and restraining by nature.
His sun is in your first house so you may see him as very attractive he has a lot of influence on your self a stem and this is why your trying to get some control. His moon is in your 12 house so there is kind physic connect between you two you become more sensitive to his needs.
Looks like he has a lot of control here and you don't like it, I wish I had his birth time so I could see what he is feeling.


Hmmm, Idk about the part about him having a lot of control & me not liking it. I don't mind letting him take lead ; I have no interest in wearing the pants in my relationships, lol . I want him to take more control . It seems like he expects me to initiate everything. Some things I don't mind . But EVERY LITTLE THING ; come on now. Lol . I don't want a guy who's an abusive control freak , but at least dominate me in positive ways . He has told me "live a liitle & have fun" , so the part about me being too inhibited & restraining by nature makes sense . However, I'm almost a completley different person behind closed doors . Especially if I'm comfortable around a guy. He wouldn't know b/c he never really took the time to find out.
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JesusChrist .... shit or get off the pot

You spend an enormous amount of time babbling about how you want changes in him, while ignoring the truth, which is ....... the only thing you really care about is bitching about your life, instead of directing it.

Why should anyone care, you sure don't care about yourself and what happens because if you did, you'd grow up.
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Posted by Lenore0908
Posted by CapricornGirl24
Posted by Lenore0908
You should have just acted nonchalant. You ruined it. And you keep blaming him instead of working on your weak areas. He ditched you and you have the nerve to get defensive. How the hell are you supposed to change another person?? You can only change yourself. It's cool though, mistakes are how you learn. But you won't be able to learn and grow from this until you can admit that you screwed up.


How did I screw up ? I didn't have guys on the side ; he had girls on the side. He's telling me one thing , but showing me another . So what exactly are my weak areas, lol? I am being nonchalant ; I have been . Like I said , the last time we spoke I ended it by pretty much telling him to figure it what he wants . I'm not interested in changing him . There's just things I won't accept. Either he's gonna meet them or he won't . Either way , I'm cool. He tells me to go & then gets upset if I attempt to & starts blocking if he thinks I'm taking interest in another guy. Either he's gonna be here or he's not . He won't compromise, so how exactly am I wrong ? Does he expect me to fight for him ? If so, just what exactly would I be fighting for ? He didn't give me much worth fight for ; don't mean to sound harsh. But that's how I feel . Nothing solid, just words. At the same time though , I see where I should take some blame . He told me he wasn't ready & I knew that . So I'm wondering, if he means what he says & wants to work it out later, would it be fair to hold these things against him when I know he's not in his right state of mind & he clearly said to me that he didn't know what he wanted ? ... But there's also the fact that , he's telling me this & telling me to go, but throws tantrums if I attempt to leave . I'd be telling the BIGGEST lie if I said I don't care about him or I no longer have feelings for him. But it's not fair for me to wait around for him to be "ready" & being hurt in the process . He's not looking at it like that . He's not taking into consideration that I was being hurt . But he wants me to listen to EVERY word his says & go along with it .


Well do it your way then since you have all the answers
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Lol clearly I don't . That's
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Posted by CapricornGirl24
Posted by virgoking
You are a virgo riser his pluto is in your 3rd house of communication here is a little break down.
When your Pluto is in your romantic partner??s third house, your influence can bring about a total change in his or her thinking. You tend to express your ideas forcefully, exerting control over your partner??s ideas. So thats what he is doing to you.
His Saturn is in your 5th house Saturn is the planet of restriction, so When Saturn is in your fifth house, he may see you as wasting both time and talent indulging an urge to have immediate gratification and fun. He is very likely to see this as your problem with anything fun, creative, or sexual, and decide that you are just too inhibited and restraining by nature.
His sun is in your first house so you may see him as very attractive he has a lot of influence on your self a stem and this is why your trying to get some control. His moon is in your 12 house so there is kind physic connect between you two you become more sensitive to his needs.
Looks like he has a lot of control here and you don't like it, I wish I had his birth time so I could see what he is feeling.


Hmmm, Idk about the part about him having a lot of control & me not liking it. I don't mind letting him take lead ; I have no interest in wearing the pants in my relationships, lol . I want him to take more control . It seems like he expects me to initiate everything. Some things I don't mind . But EVERY LITTLE THING ; come on now. Lol . I don't want a guy who's an abusive control freak , but at least dominate me in positive ways . He has told me "live a liitle & have fun" , so the part about me being too inhibited & restraining by nature makes sense . However, I'm almost a completley different person behind closed doors . Especially if I'm comfortable around a guy. He wouldn't know b/c he never really took the time to find out.
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I said you don't like it base off what you said here your trying to change him and some way thats a sign of control. But both of your moons are at odds with each other sun sign, in laymen terms his sun (ego) is at odd with your moon (emotions). In your chart your sun is also squaring his sun a lot of power control issues here, you are trying to find your self here you think you are giving way more than
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Lenore0908, My response was cut off . But I'm asking for a reason . I appreciate the feedback & I'm trying to get a better understanding. Is there something your picking up on that I'm not ? I don't get how I screwed up (other than what I've already pointed out)or what exactly you mean by my weak areas .
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Posted by P-Angel
JesusChrist .... shit or get off the pot

You spend an enormous amount of time babbling about how you want changes in him, while ignoring the truth, which is ....... the only thing you really care about is bitching about your life, instead of directing it.

Why should anyone care, you sure don't care about yourself and what happens because if you did, you'd grow up.


Excuse you ? Lol I clearly asked for advice on why he'd tell me to go & throw temper tantrums if I attempt to . I'm not babbling , I'm giving responders details of the story to pretty much paint a picture for them to understand & give advice & feedback on what their take is on it. Nobody's "bitching". I'm asking for advice .
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VirgoKing, the "ego" at odds with my "emotions" are definitely trust && It seems like me wanting to change him is what everyone is picking up on so far . I don't want to change him , though . I just want to be repsected & cared for . It's hard for me to tell when he's telling me one thing but showing me another .
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Sky1, Your Viguy sounds a lot like mine . Lol . I have disappeared & cut off all contact . He noticed & contacted me each time. But not without trying to make me feel guilty for it first; by throwing other girls in my face. I called him out on what he was doing , he immediately stopped & tried to gain my attention back . So it was an off & on kind of thing. He's definitely holding on to whatever his ex did & I could tell he was taking it out on me; like he was expecting me to do whatever it was she had done. I, too, told him not to compare me to her or anyone else. I gave him plenty of freedom to enjoy life. After recieveing so much attention from other girls, he enjoyed the attention so much that he slipped up & posted something on a social network saying "I come across the craziest females. Why can't I find a down to earth chick". That was a major slap in the face for me b/c we had been talking for a good length of time. Everything went downhill from there & I started to question whether or not he really cared for me && wanted to be with me; I didn't like what he said AT ALL. Right now I've cut off contact with him once again & told him to figure out what he wants.
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Sky1, Lol being compared to an ex is the worst !! I was being compared & I couldn't stand it . In the beginning he was a bit clingy to me , like your describing your Virgo . We talk all day on the phone or text , for days at a time . Once I hadn't spoke to him for like 3 days . And when I did he said , "It's funny you text me , I was just thinking about you" . I replied , "what a coincidence I was just think about you , too" . Then he said, "You probably weren't but its cool". Like I said , as time went by & all this craziness started going on & he put that statement out on a social network where EVERYBODY can see it & clearly not taking into consideration how hurtful it'd be to me , everything went down hill from there . That was when I began to question his intentions with me & I feel by him saying that , I had every right to do so . My main point of this topic though is , why would he tell me to leave & throw a fit or block me when I attempt to do so ? I kind of feel like he's expecting something from me but won't come right out and say what it is... I know MANY guys have trust issues regarding females; I hear it everyday . Literally. So in the very beginning of us getting a bit serious , I told him I had no problem proving myself honest & trustworthy & I've done exactly that . Yet, he still seemed to over analyze everything about me & compare it to his ex. I've seen the girl . Me and her have absolutely NOTHING in common . So I don't even get why he even bothered to compare us .
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Oh I will be definitely be laying low , lol . Thanks Big Grin
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Posted by CapricornGirl24
Excuse you ? Lol I clearly asked for advice on why he'd tell me to go & throw temper tantrums if I attempt to . I'm not babbling , I'm giving responders details of the story to pretty much paint a picture for them to understand & give advice & feedback on what their take is on it. Nobody's "bitching". I'm asking for advice .





You aren't asking for advice, you are bitching about you thinking he is unstable.

There is no picture to paint ..... we got it the first time you ever posted about this.

He is treating you like shit, and it makes you pine even harder for him .... we got that, but you don't get what that means ... so, the outcome is precisely as I stated.

grow up
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The Opening Post is just a wall of text, all run-on thoughts that comes out like a babble.

If you want people to take you seriously .. then step away from believing that you must be with a person who isn't compatible with you. So long as you continue to force a relationship with him, and come in here to bitch about it, the longer you will be talked to like a child.
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Posted by P-Angel
Posted by CapricornGirl24
Excuse you ? Lol I clearly asked for advice on why he'd tell me to go & throw temper tantrums if I attempt to . I'm not babbling , I'm giving responders details of the story to pretty much paint a picture for them to understand & give advice & feedback on what their take is on it. Nobody's "bitching". I'm asking for advice .





You aren't asking for advice, you are bitching about you thinking he is unstable.

There is no picture to paint ..... we got it the first time you ever posted about this.

He is treating you like shit, and it makes you pine even harder for him .... we got that, but you don't get what that means ... so, the outcome is precisely as I stated.

grow up
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If a person tells you one thing , yet shows you another , that is unstable. Forget the details of the story. The main thing I want to know is WHY do they push you away/tell you to leave , but throw fits when you actually attempt to . That's mixed messages & it seems controlling to me. But I'm being labeled as "the controlling" one who restricted him from his freedom. He pushes me away so that he can play other girls who "pine even harder" for him . He's admitted that neither one mean anything to him. He's bluntly stated they're nothing but whores to him & the females running him down witnessed him saying that , too . Yet, they are STILL forcing themselves on him. He's never reffered to me in that way && I'm not one of those girls who make statements like "He can go and out & do whatever with whoever as long as he's coming home to me" . I know plenty of females who think like that & it's the dumbest thing . Clearly, I've granted his freedom to him (I've completely vanished more than once) & he gets mad when I go on with my life & my freedom to do whatever I want. That's what I don't get. So it's okay for him to go do his thing , but I can't ; that's how he acts . Like I'm supposed to "pine even harder for him" . And I don't "pine" for ANY guy that treats me like shit . If I was pining even harder for him wouldn't that mean I'm chasing/begging him to be with me ? Cleary , that's not the case . I told him he can't have his cake & eat it too with me , so if he wants to be with me , he has to make a choice. And I left it at that. If he chooses to keep up with what h
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Cap24 why do you stay for the push/pull behavior? He can't push/pull & send mixed messages if you don't show up for it. He's choosing to be a player, don't show up for that kind of guy, just move on. You thought you knew him, well you won't be the first to think they know a guy only to find out he's a douchebag with women.
He gets mad when you vanish because you're not around to be kicked around...Just stop applying love or him liking you more because of his fake anger. Stop worrying about how he acts, you are just like the "pining dumb girls" or you'd been moved on and made sure you kept moving on.
You're pining for him, you're here talking about a guy that's not relevant to you and your life. You're chasing him with your thoughts, you're thinking about him all the time or you wouldn't still be talking about him.
He doesn't want to be with you, yet he doesn't want to lose a good woman, that's called being greedy. He's not going to make a choice, he's fine, now all you have to do is LET IT GO.
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Tikki33, I don't stay for the push/pull . I leave . He contacts me & gets upset b/c I'm choosing not to be a part of whatever game he's playing . I look at it as , if you're playing these other girls , why should I feel like things will be so different with me ? He's showing me exactly what he'd be bringing to the table & I don't like it . So I remove myself . I understand what you're saying ; that I shouldn't apply it to love . Since he made that statement on a social network , I questioned everything from the moment we started to the day he said that & began to feel it was all an illusion I created in my mind . As time went by , I've began to believe that's exactly what it was . In my opinion , its natural to think about someone every now & then when you sincerely cared for them . These are recent things that occurred , so its not that easy to just not think about it . It'll take time . He came to me & I let him know , I won't tolerate being treated any kind of way . Whatever he chooses to do doesn't really matter at this point . I know I'll be fine either way . I'm just wondering if its something all Virguy's do ? And if so , why ?
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And even now , he still sttempts to throw other girls in my face looking for a reaction from me . I'm at a point where it doesn't phase me at all . I literally just start laughing . It's childish .
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attempts*
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I cant read all of this, but from what I see he is human and male. What man doesnt want their cake and eat it too? Not too many. You are clearly not the girl he's willing to act right for as of now. Knowing that, why does the reason why he does what he does even matter? What are YOU going to do is what is most important. Either a guy wants you or he does not. He wants all of yall, and either you will accept it or you wont.
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Posted by CapricornGirl24
If a person tells you one thing , yet shows you another , that is unstable.





You miss the whole point of being an individual.
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iginal response to you in this thread .....

Posted by P-Angel
You spend an enormous amount of time babbling about how you want changes in him, while ignoring the truth, which is ....... the only thing you really care about is bitching about your life, instead of directing it.




.... which the truth in a nutshell, though, I didn't have to read this thread .... I recognize your situation and know you are the same Cap who's been moaning about this for months.

Posted by P-Angel
Posted by CapricornGirl24
If a person tells you one thing , yet shows you another , that is unstable.





You miss the whole point of being an individual.
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It's up to you to create your life ... you drone on about how life is being forced upon by him, when in reality, you are welcoming all of this by owning it, and not being forced to suffer him at all ... unless your tied and gagged, you've always owned your own chioces.
Instead of realizing that the whole issue is that you aren't compatible with him, and so stepping away from the situation ..... you are letting yourself succumb to your own weakness of needing to be validated, that you fail miserly at being graced with an intelligent brain.
Your second quote above is arguing with me that you should have a right to be misunderstood and how dare anyone suggest that you shouldn't be allowed to dwell in the misery of it.
A human being with a brain should deduce from the quote that if a person's words don't match their actions, then a mature and rational course of actions is to remove yourself from this situation ASAP .... your brain doesn't come to this conclusion, rather it eargly attempts to encroach people into proving to its error, so you have a reason for fight for keeping it.
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I have to ask this question, though if it were true, you wouldn't be capable of knowing it .... are you mentally challenged?
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Posted by P-Angel
I have to ask this question, though if it were true, you wouldn't be capable of knowing it .... are you mentally challenged?


Lmao !! Are you ??? You missed my point . Like I said , forget the details or "babbling" as you call it . The question was , is this something all Virguy's do ? And if so , why ? I'm just curious . Forget what he's doing , lol . I don't care . I mean Virguy's in general ; not just the one I'm talking about . Its a very straightforward question , yet you're picking me apart instead of just saying whether or not it's something they all do ... what's your sign by the way ?
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"I'm just wondering if its something all Virguy's do ? And if so , why ?"
Although Virgo males can behave this way, it's more about maturity and doing what a lot of men do of any astrological sign. If he's a player, if he's at a stage were he's sowing his oats his actions are in direct correlation to how he defines himself as a man. If he defines himself by how many women revolve themselves around him then of course he's not going to be with any one woman.
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Posted by tiki33
"I'm just wondering if its something all Virguy's do ? And if so , why ?"
Although Virgo males can behave this way, it's more about maturity and doing what a lot of men do of any astrological sign. If he's a player, if he's at a stage were he's sowing his oats his actions are in direct correlation to how he defines himself as a man. If he defines himself by how many women revolve themselves around him then of course he's not going to be with any one woman.



Well said . All I really wanted was my question answered & you did exactly that . Thank you Big Grin
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"What trips me up is , how he says he wants me to enjo my life , yet the minute he's under the impression that I'm moving on or taking interest in another guy , he blocks it. That's what I mean by "emotional rollercoaster". I care for him A LOT , but I'm not gonna be treated like a doormat & accept any ol' thing just so that I can say I have him . He tells me to go & then gets upset if I actually attempt to leave ."

Well when he trys to block it (and it sounds like a cycle that's happened more than once), it's your choice and responsibility to say enough and walk. The trick is you have to STAND by it! If you keep allowing this to happen, you are teaching him it's ok to block your path. It's your choice.
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Posted by LetltB
"What trips me up is , how he says he wants me to enjo my life , yet the minute he's under the impression that I'm moving on or taking interest in another guy , he blocks it. That's what I mean by "emotional rollercoaster". I care for him A LOT , but I'm not gonna be treated like a doormat & accept any ol' thing just so that I can say I have him . He tells me to go & then gets upset if I actually attempt to leave ."

Well when he trys to block it (and it sounds like a cycle that's happened more than once), it's your choice and responsibility to say enough and walk. The trick is you have to STAND by it! If you keep allowing this to happen, you are teaching him it's ok to block your path. It's your choice.


Understood . Thanks for the advice .
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