TwistedTwin
@TwistedTwin
15 YearsGemini
Comments: 0 · Posts: 113 · Topics: 11
Virgo Hissyfits
Posted by TwistedTwin
Anyway, he is getting to be much more of a drama king than I am. After his recent disappearing act, things were going well and sweet and, of course, he starts getting critical again, scolding me for things that I have no control over any more like my past, stuff that happened even BEFORE I met him, telling me that he can't figure me out, making snarky comments about events that I go to (like I accompanied a friend to her networking thing for business and he said I had been out "speed dating".
When I criticise someone based on their past, I really care about them and I am evaluating them for their potential longevity in the future. It can go either way, but more likely than not, he will opt to stick with you so long as you maintain some consistency.
Not being able to figure you out is because of the duality of the Gemini. The Angel/Devil Jekyl/Hyde complex can be severely off putting for me. I'm a attracted to a lot of Gemini girls, but too many just don't have consistency.
Snarky comments are just part of the Virgo man package.
@Cajunspirit
Thanks for the response. It is a relief to hear from a virgo male. However, I don't know if he will opt to stick it out with me because that comment I made that "you have no faith in my future" -- he kind of went ballistic with that saying that he has never put me down yadayadayada -- which of course, was not true, because I view his criticizing as put downs. I have no idea why he doesn't.
After that comment from me, he didn't seem to hear ANYTHING I said after that and ended with, "This ends here tonight."
I asked if he was breaking up with me -- oh, this conversation was in chat, okay? -- and no reply. I emailed again this morning asking if that was what he really wanted -- no reply.
So do you think that's really the end of it? I mean, I'll probably know for sure soon enough but would like to know what the odds are. Thanks.
Thanks for the response. It is a relief to hear from a virgo male. However, I don't know if he will opt to stick it out with me because that comment I made that "you have no faith in my future" -- he kind of went ballistic with that saying that he has never put me down yadayadayada -- which of course, was not true, because I view his criticizing as put downs. I have no idea why he doesn't.
After that comment from me, he didn't seem to hear ANYTHING I said after that and ended with, "This ends here tonight."
I asked if he was breaking up with me -- oh, this conversation was in chat, okay? -- and no reply. I emailed again this morning asking if that was what he really wanted -- no reply.
So do you think that's really the end of it? I mean, I'll probably know for sure soon enough but would like to know what the odds are. Thanks.
You lost faith in him! He, in turn, lost faith in you...
I'm just responding from the title ...
One of my workers didn't come in today and so I called her. She had requested off yesterday because it was her mans birthday and she wanted to spend it with him ... so today, she didn't show for work, and when I called her, I hear the sound of pots and pans banging around, and his voice barking the tone of disgruntlement.
What's wrong, is everything ok ... I ask her.
Yes, everything is fine, she says .... he just didn't have a good birthday yesterday, and so he's still throwing a hissyfit.
Jesus fucking christ .... seriously .. grow the fuck up
One of my workers didn't come in today and so I called her. She had requested off yesterday because it was her mans birthday and she wanted to spend it with him ... so today, she didn't show for work, and when I called her, I hear the sound of pots and pans banging around, and his voice barking the tone of disgruntlement.
What's wrong, is everything ok ... I ask her.
Yes, everything is fine, she says .... he just didn't have a good birthday yesterday, and so he's still throwing a hissyfit.
Jesus fucking christ .... seriously .. grow the fuck up
The front page of Netscape is the current news and I read it ... one article talked about a man who shot and killed his woman because he isn't in control of himself enough to get over his eggs being cooked a different way.
So reminded me of my workers man ....
You know, you guys pride yourselves on having such emotional fortitude because you block off having to deal with feelings .. when in reality, it is your worst weakness because when something pisses you off, you don't have enough experience in actually dealing with feelings to know how to handle emotions when they arise.
Practice makes perfect, practice makes experts ... if you don't deal with emotions, and instead, box them up and packed them away because they seem messy .. then you rob yourselves from having the practice in dealing with them === you are emotionally weak, not strong.
The people who allow themselves the opportunity to experience emotions to the full extent as they arise are the ones who have the emotional fortitude.
So reminded me of my workers man ....
You know, you guys pride yourselves on having such emotional fortitude because you block off having to deal with feelings .. when in reality, it is your worst weakness because when something pisses you off, you don't have enough experience in actually dealing with feelings to know how to handle emotions when they arise.
Practice makes perfect, practice makes experts ... if you don't deal with emotions, and instead, box them up and packed them away because they seem messy .. then you rob yourselves from having the practice in dealing with them === you are emotionally weak, not strong.
The people who allow themselves the opportunity to experience emotions to the full extent as they arise are the ones who have the emotional fortitude.
If you don't believe me ...... have a seance and ask the ghost-doctor who stopped breathing while awaiting on an opportunity to show her boyfriend how emotionally strong she is .... lodged in his chimney.
Posted by P-Angel
The front page of Netscape is the current news and I read it ... one article talked about a man who shot and killed his woman because he isn't in control of himself enough to get over his eggs being cooked a different way.
So reminded me of my workers man ....
You know, you guys pride yourselves on having such emotional fortitude because you block off having to deal with feelings .. when in reality, it is your worst weakness because when something pisses you off, you don't have enough experience in actually dealing with feelings to know how to handle emotions when they arise.
Practice makes perfect, practice makes experts ... if you don't deal with emotions, and instead, box them up and packed them away because they seem messy .. then you rob yourselves from having the practice in dealing with them === you are emotionally weak, not strong.
The people who allow themselves the opportunity to experience emotions to the full extent as they arise are the ones who have the emotional fortitude.
I 100% agree. Actually, I suspect I am even more cold-hearted than my man. Maybe it comes with being a Gem. There's one twin that wears their heart on a sleeve but there's the other one that shuts it off. Not blocks it, okay? SHUTS IT OFF. The other one though can be a real drama queen and I suspect that if I acted with less kindness and be less circumspect, I could shatter the fragile emotional world of the virgos around me. But, hey, my bullying days are over, lol. It'll probably be only when they piss me off enough.
But really, they should practice. In this day and age, conflict resolution skills are paramount. Not just for relationships but for everything else. Virgos can't expect everyone to be their personality clones just so that they feel more secure and comfortable, ya know.
Sounds like the dynamics between you two aren\'t so great. By dynamic, i mean the communication. He explodes, and you don\'t care to bother with his problems. You take his criticism as insults, so you leave him alone to at the wrong time, but he just gets even more critical and forces you to go away. In my opinion, this is probably the end of the relationship because both of you guys have showed a lack of interest toward each other, and that is him leaving at random, and you leaving to hang out with people who are more fun.
Posted by P-Angel
I'm just responding from the title ...
One of my workers didn't come in today and so I called her. She had requested off yesterday because it was her mans birthday and she wanted to spend it with him ... so today, she didn't show for work, and when I called her, I hear the sound of pots and pans banging around, and his voice barking the tone of disgruntlement.
What's wrong, is everything ok ... I ask her.
Yes, everything is fine, she says .... he just didn't have a good birthday yesterday, and so he's still throwing a hissyfit.
Jesus fucking christ .... seriously .. grow the fuck up
She didn't state the evidence, so you can assume many idea's how he is pissed...Yet, the question remains far to vague to state that he was just having a hissy fit because of his "birthday". Another negative biased attack on virgos, i see huh rat? 😉
Dude, c'mon we are robotic, we don't need emotions. Emotions are so ROMANTIC ERA.
Posted by P-Angel
If you don't believe me ...... have a seance and ask the ghost-doctor who stopped breathing while awaiting on an opportunity to show her boyfriend how emotionally strong she is .... lodged in his chimney.
Nah, i rather shoot myself in my house because my already crappy music is becoming too popular for me to handle 😉
Oh yeah, i forgot to say this, him not replying shortly after he said, \"this ends here tonight\", means that it is over, and he moved on. Him not replying to your response is his way of saying \"we are done and F* $ % off\"
Yeah, the relationship is over...
Yeah, the relationship is over...
Posted by 25thDecan
I don't understand the "faith statement" she made. Please clarify. Hissyfits and tantrums in real life are for kids. Delete someone or make a decision and grow. Wack ass scorpio women aside, its good to show "emotion" with a woman who genuinely does the same.I.E....she actually gives a damn about you and how you feel. Not the expectation of an immediate smile from the guy everytime he's around. Him being a virgo didn't eff this. He effed it up and maybe the two simply are no longer compatible.....
And fuck scorpio bitches! Yay!
CLARIFICATION (on the "You have no faith in my future") statement: I only said this after several episodes of him tearing apart my past. Like I said, I went on a Bruce Wayne. I had everything before. I had my reasons for giving it up consciously and deliberately. He met me at the tail end of that journey.
I think this is an issue with him because he views that move as irresponsible or an abrogation of existing duties and obligations. Plus, I'm highly educated and he thinks that the past couple of years were a waste because I could be richer than I am now. So I get his frustration but I had my reasons for doing what I did and he wasn't in my life then.
I try to placate his paranoia about my status now by telling I have a plan and am working on it. Still, he harps on my past. Now, for me, if it's not constructive; if it's not helpful... I throw it out the window. In this case, I just pointed out the obvious -- that he had no faith in my future. There you go. You guys know what happened next.
I have been sincere, loving, loyal and affection even throughout his brooding moments. Give him space when he wants. And even then, I tell him that I'm just here if he needs me. And frankly, since I wasn't even in war freak mode when this happened (and believe me, I can be), I just think this is all so shallow to get worked up on that.
So actually, instead of trying to placate him further, I'm inclined to just go the parenting way and say: This tantrum is unacceptable. When you're done throwing your hissyfit and can communicate properly, then we talk. But get your act together first.
Posted by sorti-fantastic poney
Oh yeah, i forgot to say this, him not replying shortly after he said, \"this ends here tonight\", means that it is over, and he moved on. Him not replying to your response is his way of saying \"we are done and F* $ % off\"
Yeah, the relationship is over...
I am prepared for that outcome and somewhat disappointed that it had to be triggered by something so shallow. Oddly enough, I'm not pining and miserable over it. I treated him with respect. I indulged his eccentricities (mostly the Virgo related ones) so if anyone were to look at this from top to bottom, I would have no trouble standing my ground because I acted decently, lovingly and tried my best to reconcile differences through communication.
Oh, well. We'll see. I'll give you an update what happens when something happens but for now, I'll leave him to brood and huff and puff for a while. If he's gone, then maybe it's all for the best.
Posted by 25thDecan
If he's harping on you like this and things have been said like what you've mentioned then drop his shifty ass. He sounds like such a POS if he can't just move on. Like me and my hate for scorpio bitches. I hate them but I've moved on. I just enjoy the hate. Its fun. But he's supposed to be the one who picks up the slack with you and supports and loves like you've done for him. He's so non reciprocal. Remove the filth that is HIM.
I love your fire and passion! Are you really a virgo? LOL. I just want to make you my break up life coach for now. You're like the voice in my head that when I tell myself, "Run, Forrest, Run!!", you're the one that's going to yell, "AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!" 🙂
Posted by DyTryin
Gemini & Virgo is every bit as unsatisfying long-term as Libra & Virgo - and probably for the same reasons.
Virgo Men are emotional retards, and need a Woman who can help them express their feelings. When you can't, HE gets frustrated, and probably doesn't even realize the root cause...
I knew from the beginning that the Gem + Virgo combo didn't bode too well. So I checked our other planets. Turns out our moon signs are compatible -- highly compatible. I'm a Moon in Taurus and he's a Moon in Capricorn. When I started relating to him on that level, things were very very good.
However, when it comes to his emotions - VIRGO Sun + CAPRICORN Moon = DROID. LOL, he has no emotions whatsoever, at least none that will require any less than squeezing blood from a stone, haha.
So I went to the Cappie Forum to get tips on how to draw emotions out of him -- their consensus -- YOU DON'T. Better not to ask questions or be too nosy, they'll be ready to share when they're ready to share.
Okay, so I follow the tips. Again, they work well. Until one measly comment from me draws his unreasonable ire. Which kind of leads me to believe that the guy was looking for an out.
So unless I turn into the female version of C-3PO or R2-D2... I don't know what else to do.
Posted by TwistedTwin
@Cajunspirit
Thanks for the response. It is a relief to hear from a virgo male. However, I don't know if he will opt to stick it out with me because that comment I made that "you have no faith in my future" -- he kind of went ballistic with that saying that he has never put me down yadayadayada -- which of course, was not true, because I view his criticizing as put downs. I have no idea why he doesn't.
Oh dear... you clearly don't understand that's how we show we care...
So do you think that's really the end of it? I mean, I'll probably know for sure soon enough but would like to know what the odds are. Thanks.click to expand
Nope.
Posted by Ccdarling
Oh dear... you clearly don't understand that's how we show we care...
Yeah well Gemini's view it as "Your about to get your head ripped off by the evil twin because you are now her bullseye target" lol We just can't fathom how someone can care about you by degrading you with criticisms. I want to make the person I love feel good about themselves, build them up.
It's not supposed to be degrading, it's suppose to be constructive....
Posted by CajunspiritPosted by TwistedTwin
@Cajunspirit
Thanks for the response. It is a relief to hear from a virgo male. However, I don't know if he will opt to stick it out with me because that comment I made that "you have no faith in my future" -- he kind of went ballistic with that saying that he has never put me down yadayadayada -- which of course, was not true, because I view his criticizing as put downs. I have no idea why he doesn't.
Oh dear... you clearly don't understand that's how we show we care...
So do you think that's really the end of it? I mean, I'll probably know for sure soon enough but would like to know what the odds are. Thanks.
Nope.click to expand
You have the tongue of an angel, Cajunspirit! I love you, I love you, I love you BUT OF COURSE I LOVE HIM MORE hahahah.
We are back in business!! Woohoo.....
And of course, he pretended nothing ever happened, LOL. So my one foot out the door, is back in.
Next stage -- CONSISTENCY. Oh, boy. I need to stuff my evil twin under the stairs somewhere.
Posted by TwistedTwin
You have the tongue of an angel, Cajunspirit! I love you, I love you, I love you BUT OF COURSE I LOVE HIM MORE hahahah.
We are back in business!! Woohoo.....
And of course, he pretended nothing ever happened, LOL. So my one foot out the door, is back in.
Next stage -- CONSISTENCY. Oh, boy. I need to stuff my evil twin under the stairs somewhere.
Which decan is he?
I personally need lots of positive reinforcement. Negative women are highly unattractive. Saying things like "you lost faith in me" really would be a grave deterrent.
You do not have to hide your "evil twin" but simply be mindful of where and when are the best times to let them out. The same way Virgos can be cold and critical, Geminis can as well.
Stay positive, do not take criticisms to heart and be appreciative of the things he does.
^^ I\'m going to say, third decan. Most of the men and women are extremely fussy and judgmental, but they are fun...haha.
The thing is cajun, all gemini\'s are like virgos, ruled by mercury, so they have the knack for telling people bluntly how \"the food isn\'t coming to the table\". In a kind way, they are extremely glib, and a virgo is critical and judgmental, so if you add this to the picture it leads to a pissed off couple.
One who wants to fix things while the other simply ignores it, and it happens both ways...
Just gotta see how it turns out, but i can already say, \"nothing is ever easy\" unless you enjoy vapid relationships.
The thing is cajun, all gemini\'s are like virgos, ruled by mercury, so they have the knack for telling people bluntly how \"the food isn\'t coming to the table\". In a kind way, they are extremely glib, and a virgo is critical and judgmental, so if you add this to the picture it leads to a pissed off couple.
One who wants to fix things while the other simply ignores it, and it happens both ways...
Just gotta see how it turns out, but i can already say, \"nothing is ever easy\" unless you enjoy vapid relationships.
Posted by Cajunspirit
Which decan is he?
I personally need lots of positive reinforcement. Negative women are highly unattractive. Saying things like "you lost faith in me" really would be a grave deterrent.
You do not have to hide your "evil twin" but simply be mindful of where and when are the best times to let them out. The same way Virgos can be cold and critical, Geminis can as well.
Stay positive, do not take criticisms to heart and be appreciative of the things he does.click to expand
He's an August born Virgo so I guess that's first decan? I'm not very familiar with decans.
Yeah, I kind of figured he needed lots of positive reinforcement given his Virgo sun, Venus in Leo and Cappy moon. In the beginning when I was still trying to feel him out, I'd get defensive about his responses because I didn't know where they were coming from but when I figured out that his sun and moon was sort of insecure and feared rejection... a lightbulb went off in my head. Add his venus which needs to be adored and well... yeah, I get it.
I know he hates negativity coming from me especially if it indirectly speaks to my lack of trust in him -- and the guy is really sharp in picking up subtle nuances. So I've learned early on that he's not one I can run circles around, lol. Sincerity is the key. He has such a low tolerance for BS and so do I -- so that's good anyway.
Posted by spiceonigiri
to op,
just so that you know, cappy moon gets a bad name even on the cap board. some of the cappy sun and others believe that it's the worst moon possible. not to make any cappy mooner feels bad but that's what i heard.
Yeah, I read that too while I was doing research on it. Capricorn is directly opposite the moon and, yup, the worst placement possible. So you get what I'm dealing with here? Astrologically speaking, possibly the most difficult man on the planet hahaha. But that's okay, all the perfectionism (virgo) and authoritarianism (cappy) is something that I find I need to keep me in line. I can be a handful and not just in romantic relationships and most people don't know what to do with me, LOL.
Posted by sorti-fantastic poney
^^ I\'m going to say, third decan. Most of the men and women are extremely fussy and judgmental, but they are fun...haha.
The thing is cajun, all gemini\'s are like virgos, ruled by mercury, so they have the knack for telling people bluntly how \"the food isn\'t coming to the table\". In a kind way, they are extremely glib, and a virgo is critical and judgmental, so if you add this to the picture it leads to a pissed off couple.
One who wants to fix things while the other simply ignores it, and it happens both ways...
Just gotta see how it turns out, but i can already say, \"nothing is ever easy\" unless you enjoy vapid relationships.
Oh, yeah, I know this won't be an easy ride, but as you all know there is more to the person than just the sun sign. Our other placements are extremely compatible so even I am curious to see how this will turn out. If you even add "nurture" to the "nature", there's some good odds there too. I have a Virgo mom and a Capricorn dad so I've had all my life to learn how they are and how to deal with them. So I know it sounds like some greek tragedy, LOL, but I got a guy who happens to be my parents all rolled into one.
"oh dear...you clearly don't understand that's how we show we care..."
Interesting remark, so if you don't care would you still criticise even if you believed someones actions/behaviour/ethics to be wrong?
Interesting remark, so if you don't care would you still criticise even if you believed someones actions/behaviour/ethics to be wrong?
Posted by TwistedTwin
He's an August born Virgo so I guess that's first decan? I'm not very familiar with decans.
Lots of talk here on the forums, lead me to believe August Virgos are less stable.
Yeah, I kind of figured he needed lots of positive reinforcement given his Virgo sun, Venus in Leo and Cappy moon. In the beginning when I was still trying to feel him out, I'd get defensive about his responses because I didn't know where they were coming from but when I figured out that his sun and moon was sort of insecure and feared rejection... a lightbulb went off in my head. Add his venus which needs to be adored and well... yeah, I get it.
I am the same way. I think the moon sign affects your outlook on life.
Fire and Air moons make you positive
Water and Earth moons make you negative
I am the same as the way you described him, my Venus is also in Leo.
I know he hates negativity coming from me especially if it indirectly speaks to my lack of trust in him -- and the guy is really sharp in picking up subtle nuances. So I've learned early on that he's not one I can run circles around, lol. Sincerity is the key. He has such a low tolerance for BS and so do I -- so that's good anyway.click to expand
Very good.
You see this is what frustrates him, you know, he knows you know and yet still... you make these mistakes by being negative.
Posted by seadream
"oh dear...you clearly don't understand that's how we show we care..."
Interesting remark, so if you don't care would you still criticise even if you believed someones actions/behaviour/ethics to be wrong?
I would be very unlikely to.
Perhaps if asked or thoroughly disgusted.
Otherwise I could not be bothered.
Posted by Cajunspirit
Very good.
You see this is what frustrates him, you know, he knows you know and yet still... you make these mistakes by being negative.
I have Venus in Leo too. So I need reassurance from time to time as well. I am seeing though that he sees this as lack of trust so I guess I will have to find reassurance within myself or elsewhere -- my sister, my psychic, my dog, DXP, lol.
What do you mean that first decans are less stable? Less stable in terms of what?
@Cajunspirit
Oh, yeah, you said that you are the same way I described him. I'd have to agree with that. The way you "talk" on the boards is pretty much like what he sounds too. Decisive, straight to the point, cuts right into the heart of the matter except, perhaps, that you seem to be more tolerant in exploring other people's POV and maybe that's from hanging out in DXP too and possibly your moon. His Cappy moon is naturally rigid and inflexible already but hey... I view that as part of the package.
Oh, yeah, you said that you are the same way I described him. I'd have to agree with that. The way you "talk" on the boards is pretty much like what he sounds too. Decisive, straight to the point, cuts right into the heart of the matter except, perhaps, that you seem to be more tolerant in exploring other people's POV and maybe that's from hanging out in DXP too and possibly your moon. His Cappy moon is naturally rigid and inflexible already but hey... I view that as part of the package.
Posted by TwistedTwin
I have Venus in Leo too. So I need reassurance from time to time as well. I am seeing though that he sees this as lack of trust so I guess I will have to find reassurance within myself or elsewhere -- my sister, my psychic, my dog, DXP, lol.
You should'nt have to.
What do you mean that first decans are less stable? Less stable in terms of what?
More prone to breaking, outbursts, emotional instability, conflict, worry, stress.
Posted by TwistedTwin
@Cajunspirit
Oh, yeah, you said that you are the same way I described him. I'd have to agree with that. The way you "talk" on the boards is pretty much like what he sounds too. Decisive, straight to the point, cuts right into the heart of the matter except, perhaps, that you seem to be more tolerant in exploring other people's POV and maybe that's from hanging out in DXP too and possibly your moon. His Cappy moon is naturally rigid and inflexible already but hey... I view that as part of the package.click to expand
My Mercury is in Libra, supposed to make me more open to seeing things from other people's view.
My moon is in Leo, which makes me quite affection and definitely hampers my Virgo rigidity.
Posted by TwistedTwin
Oh, yeah, I know this won't be an easy ride, but as you all know there is more to the person than just the sun sign. Our other placements are extremely compatible so even I am curious to see how this will turn out. If you even add "nurture" to the "nature", there's some good odds there too. I have a Virgo mom and a Capricorn dad so I've had all my life to learn how they are and how to deal with them. So I know it sounds like some greek tragedy, LOL, but I got a guy who happens to be my parents all rolled into one.
Hmm i see. He's born in august hm...
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Like I said, I had been getting used to this and it's possible my Moon in Taurus is helping me keep my emotional level stable. I don't take things personally because I know he's built that way and that's just part of the package I chose to love. But this harping about my past is bothering me.
Backgrounder: To make a long story short, I did a "Bruce Wayne" the past three years. Had everything. Gave it up because I had life lessons to learn. Now, starting over. I met him when I was done with my healing/issues and ready to jump back into the rat race again.
So I tell him he has no faith in my future and again, a hissyfit!! I don't know what this guy wants from me anymore. I am loyal, devoted, loving and very patient when it comes to his eccentricities. But whenever we get closer or more bonded, he does throws a tantrum like this and I don't understand it.