Virgo hot & cold, disappearance?

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by kitkatleen on Wednesday, September 30, 2015 and has 41 replies.
I've dated a few virgos and they always seems to be hot and cold. Most of them show interest really quickly and disappeared. Why do virgo do that? My friend's ex was a virgo and he disappeared without a word too.. Why do virgo disappear and for how long? They usually come back and then disappear again... are virgo players or just indecisive?
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Down time.. time varies... there are atleast 4-5 types of virgo, yes one type of virgo can be a "player"
Not so much indecisive as the are heavy contemplators.
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Posted by Weeds
Down time.. time varies... there are atleast 4-5 types of virgo, yes one type of virgo can be a "player"
Not so much indecisive as the are heavy contemplators.


I'm Aries and I seems to always met virgo who would disappear on me! But I always get "you can drive me crazy, I can't keep up but in the good way" from those guys. Is this why they disappear on me? What are the types of virgos? It seems like they are very quick to show interest but then back off when things are going really well. Like one literally told me he loved me twice and then disappear on me. I can't figure out them!!
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Lol hmm well if you always seem to meet virgos who do this one would think you might be doing something thats turning them off.
But majority just do down/alone time, normal.
there is the controlling sometime violent.
there is the sweet sensitive
there is the manic, dark depressive charlie brown.
and the one who sticks there dick in everything
Im not completely certain what number five is.

Hmmm "you can drive me crazy, I can't keep up but in the good way" that sounds like your a little too much for them?

I know aries and
Its either too weak or too strong
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I feel like Virgos just don't give a shit enough to consciously disappear or stick around. They just do what they want and if that happens to be you, then so be it.
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Yes they always come back they contemplate for a long time. I can think for months on and end as well. It's just up to you to let them keep coming back or not depending on the status of the relationship. If you guys are just friends then it's normal they disappear on they friends too when they need time to think. Heavy thinkers they are. The hot and cold is to keep control especially after they spill their feelings out to you which can take a long time. I don't think they like feeling too exposed so they cold afterwards and withdraw for awhile. I wouldn't feed into though just keep living your life.
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If a woman moves too quick, is forceful, demanding (add any adjectives similar) they will disappear real quick...

Never corner a Virgo, stalk a Virgo or play games with a Virgo or there will be NO VIRGO.
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Posted by LetltB
If a woman moves too quick, is forceful, demanding (add any adjectives similar) they will disappear real quick...

Never corner a Virgo, stalk a Virgo or play games with a Virgo or there will be NO VIRGO.


Hmm but they can stalk you and be clingy...hypocrisy.
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Posted by Weeds
Lol hmm well if you always seem to meet virgos who do this one would think you might be doing something thats turning them off.
But majority just do down/alone time, normal.
there is the controlling sometime violent.
there is the sweet sensitive
there is the manic, dark depressive charlie brown.
and the one who sticks there dick in everything
Im not completely certain what number five is.

Hmmm "you can drive me crazy, I can't keep up but in the good way" that sounds like your a little too much for them?

I know aries and
Its either too weak or too strong


I think i come off as too strong, many would say i am aggressive and bossy but it's just aries way i guess! I also have taurus traits and i have no idea why i am always attracted to virgos! They seems to be so secretive and charming and aries always loves a challenge! I feel like most virgos i've met are really secretive and doesn't like it when people question them... The last virgo said i drive him nuts but that was the reason why he likes me... weird as it sounds but they will always come back.

Posted by ashley1734
I feel like Virgos just don't give a shit enough to consciously disappear or stick around. They just do what they want and if that happens to be you, then so be it.


Oh yes they definitely do whatever they want and if you invade to their personal space, trying to know more about them, they seems to back off. It's just really selfish i would say.

Posted by starwars
i do it to analyze , or to stop analyzing and chill or to soak energy. then i come around with high energy and good vibes.
click to expand


One disappeared when his father passed away, came back acting different and then disappear again. Another just simply say he loves me and POOF!

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Posted by Octoberbaby91
Yes they always come back they contemplate for a long time. I can think for months on and end as well. It's just up to you to let them keep coming back or not depending on the status of the relationship. If you guys are just friends then it's normal they disappear on they friends too when they need time to think. Heavy thinkers they are. The hot and cold is to keep control especially after they spill their feelings out to you which can take a long time. I don't think they like feeling too exposed so they cold afterwards and withdraw for awhile. I wouldn't feed into though just keep living your life.



I totally agreed! They ALWAYS disappear after expressing how they felt for me. So it always leave me wondering, was i being fooled? As an aries, we usually have down time for only a day! Months is just too much to handle. I think the constant disappearance would eventually drive me crazy. And the worst part of it? They said NOTHING and disappear, and by disappearing, i literally have no idea if he's dead or alive..

Posted by LetltB
If a woman moves too quick, is forceful, demanding (add any adjectives similar) they will disappear real quick...

Never corner a Virgo, stalk a Virgo or play games with a Virgo or there will be NO VIRGO.


Haha i am quick, forceful & demanding. He loves and hates it i guess. And yes as an aries, we are good at finding out if someone is lying and we are NOT afraid to confront them about their lies. He did ever said he was put in a spot and got scared when i was questioning him. I guess we really ain't suitable. I love knowing everything and he loves to keep everything to himself. Even when i felt like i'm asking a normal question, he told me not to poke my business into his. I feel like with a virgo, i'm always on my toes but strangely they are so hard to forget!

Posted by VirgoFlirt
The guy is most likely to be alergic to KitKats....

So most likely they disappeared because of something you did or something they did not like about you.


....People make out like it takes Rocket Science IQ, to decipher a lame virgo.
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Funny because he did make fun of my nickname, he calls me kitkats and the funniest part is he said he was addicted to kitkats! I guess disappearing is the most cowardly way, he could simply tell me what he didn't like... All i know now is virgo can drive any aries insane!
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Posted by LetltB
If a woman moves too quick, is forceful, demanding (add any adjectives similar) they will disappear real quick...

Never corner a Virgo, stalk a Virgo or play games with a Virgo or there will be NO VIRGO.


That's pretty much the essence of it. Virgo males demand his woman to be an independent since he believes in having his own private space and gives her the independence and space she desired. Even in love, Virgo has to maintain a 'certain' distance. It takes a strong woman to handle this, I admit.
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I am married to a Virgo. Not once did he disappear or go cold when we dated. If a man wants you he stays. Stop giving time and power to those who don't.
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Questions:

1. Do Virgo's EVER take responsibility for THEIR POOR ACTIONS and learn from them? In my case, I haven't seen that. I have NEVER heard an apology from any Virgo who hurt me. I have, however, sucked up my pride a few times and apologized despite knowing they were at fault. With Virgos, it seems you care more about being RIGHT than being HAPPY.

2. Do Virgo's EVER change so to meet the needs of other people? Nope. It's all about "controlling" who we are to fit "your" perfect version of us rather than fix yourself.

3. There are countless threads on here and other sites on the net stating the same thing ad nauseam about Virgo's passive aggressive tendencies (silent treatment) then push you away, then of course, disappear for reasons they only know and without any explanation to the other person involved. I personally have experienced this several times from virgo men. It's "what they do."

No, the rest of us non Virgo's aren't perfect either. We all have our issues. But there is a consistency with Virgo's, especially Male Virgo's, to pull this crap on those who care about them or even love them. In the end, its not the rest of us who always bear the responsibility of making better choices or learning from them. If you're going preach something, you damn well better practice it.
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Posted by SpinCycle
I am married to a Virgo. Not once did he disappear or go cold when we dated. If a man wants you he stays. Stop giving time and power to those who don't.


I'm sitting here and I've never known a Virgo man to disappear. Like, ever. I don't' date Virgos. Sorry, but there's something about their level of arrogance that turns me off. It's like they're macho, arrogant, and cold. What a combo. I just can't deal as an emo Pisces Moon. I have no interest in being with a man who is a "challenge" of many sorts. I can take someone who might be kind of hard to work with...but at least we're WORKING on it. Someone who disengages and doesn't make themselves available is not available...therefore, there is no relationship. You know?
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i agree..when a virgo wants you..they do..their hyper focused on you and make sure you know it..their attention to detail with regard to the things that make you happy is what they live for

virgos are usually gorgeous veryyyy good looking ppl..so they have tons of options;...also very charming ppl..sometimes ppl mistake that for interest when to a virgo they are just enjoying the attention...if they are disapearing and reappearing they are enjoying their other options an deciding who wins them...best way to deal with a virgo is to come on heavy and then back away..virgos will notice the lack of presence of someone and sniff you out..let a virgos actions speak..when a virgo wants you they move mountains in a meticulous way...ummmmmm but you have to be the best and if you dont put your foot down with them they will consider you easy so to speak and will just do as they please...they respect when you call them on their ish...

Posted by SpinCycle
I am married to a Virgo. Not once did he disappear or go cold when we dated. If a man wants you he stays. Stop giving time and power to those who don't.

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my virgos never disappeared until they were gone for good. no hot and cold. i have had on and off relationships and friendships but that was all me coming and going. they were pretty consistent. always abiding by whatever choices the other person (me) made.

until they decide to leave for good.

oh virgo... why am i back here again


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I know this Virgo guy and he and have been playing grab ass for years. He always tells me he is seeing someone but I know he is not. We joke and say, okay "I'll see you in another 6 months."

After 5 years he told me that he likes me and then I told him I liked him.

now what?

cricket.....
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I see.
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So yur saying there is a chance...
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maybe he got nervous maybe he wants to keep things spicy maybe we will never know
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magma, I wished you posted more.

Most Virgo Men abandonned this board.
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Posted by magma
Posted by SewerRat89
So yur saying there is a chance...


If you're asking me I can't know, but it seems a little odd he tells you he's seeing someone when he's not, unless perhaps, he doesn't want you to get any ideas.
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That or he wants to be wooed by her.

I would feel the maturity level isn't quite high in that one, SewerRat.

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Sad rats
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Posted by magma
Posted by Damnata
Posted by magma
Posted by SewerRat89
So yur saying there is a chance...


If you're asking me I can't know, but it seems a little odd he tells you he's seeing someone when he's not, unless perhaps, he doesn't want you to get any ideas.


That or he wants to be wooed by her.

I would feel the maturity level isn't quite high in that one, SewerRat.





I thought of that, and maybe I was projecting, when I casually mention my wife in conversation it's keep things in, um, proper perspective. After 5 years of "grab ass" in which no asses were apparently, literally grabbed, I didn't take his comment as an indicator of serious interest. I can't know, but if SR89 calls his bluff she soon will.
click to expand




double rats.. so what should i do? Disappear?
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Posted by kitkatleen
Posted by Weeds
Down time.. time varies... there are atleast 4-5 types of virgo, yes one type of virgo can be a "player"
Not so much indecisive as the are heavy contemplators.


I'm Aries and I seems to always met virgo who would disappear on me! But I always get "you can drive me crazy, I can't keep up but in the good way" from those guys. Is this why they disappear on me? What are the types of virgos? It seems like they are very quick to show interest but then back off when things are going really well. Like one literally told me he loved me twice and then disappear on me. I can't figure out them!!
click to expand






I had a virgo guy told me he loved me about 15 times and declared in front of our friends in one day, then the very next day disappeared from my life. Literally, never heard from him again despite of my attempts to get in touch, it was very very bizarre, just gone like he never existed! no explanation, no nothing
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Mmmmmmmmmmmmm........... I am going to let this all percolate for a second.
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Thank you though.



percolating....
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Posted by fifi2015
I'm a virgo (not a great one) and if i disappear on you its because i never really wanted you, no sugar coating. Or I liked the idea of you for that second, i.e I needed some attention or I needed a favour. Id never disappear on someone I deeply wanted to be with and id do a lot for them I feel like I would make it work the best I can!


Ironic, on the Gem board you stated some Gem guy was playing games with you because he disappeared on you and you suggested he was childish for doing so.

I wrote you a thorough reply explaining the Rubber band Effect and explaining why guys do push pull.

However, after reading what you said about yourself, it's obvious you play games and act childish when it involves someone who you may not want. Is that fair to some guy who wants to get to know you better or even a friend?

If you treat other people like this don't you deserve to get the same treatment?
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Posted by LetltB
If a woman moves too quick, is forceful, demanding (add any adjectives similar) they will disappear real quick





Wrong !!!


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Posted by kitkatleen

I've dated a few virgos and they always seems to be hot and cold. Most of them show interest really quickly and disappeared. Why do virgo do that?






The Virgo is the follower, not the leader.

They do that to try and get you to take the reigns to rule. They will show interest, and then retreat, waiting for you to come and claim them.
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Posted by Kms0640

they take a lot of pride in being a caring security blanket.

they can be very traditional so if you arent playing the part of your gender role that can be off putting to a virgo.





gender role? playing a part?

wtf does that mean?


Are you implying that a woman must be a damsel in distress, aka: playing, if she wants to have a Virgo be serious about her?

How ridiculous.
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In my experience The Virgo male does want a woman. He is attracted to the female/feminine qualities and the more tradition aspects. . However, is not interested in a weak woman but he typically persues and prefers the feminine woman. He is definitely not interested in a "dumb blonde "'type because intellect is also an important quality. He likes strong women but likes the more feline roles. No insults to the woman power ladies just his preference.
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A lot of seduction communities teach this game, you can read about them on the forums. You get are all hot for you, then you disappear.. usually a huge compliment or great date comes first then the disappearance. Its a "Get her to chase you" technique.

Mercurial men - virgos & geminis are exceptionally good at this, because they are good at getting people excited and feigning emotions.

My advice, don't chase. They will pretend they like you to in the beginning but they'll be spinning plates with other women (rotating them out), its the dumb ones are the ones who fall for this bullbutter.

Most Virgo men would take the blonde who was smart enough not to fall for this over any other haircolor who would.

Virgo men like women who are smart with their emotions and who have dignity.
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haircolor is irrevelent. Its the Intelligence and attraction that counts.
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When I said dumb blonde type, I didn't mean the actual color. I was referring to a type of personality. AGAIN, IN MY EXPERIENCE I have come to think that intellect and feminine dignity is a virgo's preference for a long term relationship. They of course like most men will jump on sex if available. But sexing up with a female doesn't represent a relationship.
I might add this is a discussion of individual ideas and thoughts. The hostility exhibited by some responses is really unnecessary. Couldn't we be more civil in expressing our view points?
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Posted by Annie1
When I said dumb blonde type, I didn't mean the actual color. I was referring to a type of personality. AGAIN, IN MY EXPERIENCE I have come to think that intellect and feminine dignity is a virgo's preference for a long term relationship. They of course like most men will jump on sex if available. But sexing up with a female doesn't represent a relationship.
I might add this is a discussion of individual ideas and thoughts. The hostility exhibited by some responses is really unnecessary. Couldn't we be more civil in expressing our view points?


It wasn't my intention to come across as hostile here, I was just going for a probable explanation.

I dont like to stereotype people negatively on looks but I don't know about a type of dumb blonde personality. I was in Sweden last month.. some of the most beautiful, intelligent blonde people you've met in your life as are many natural blondes.

I am mixed ethnicity, darker in skin color and I have an eye for rare beauty and whats truly exotic. Blondes make up less than 2% percent of the earths population and redheads less than 1% . If I weren't with either one of my dark haired men, I would intentionally look for a natural blonde male. I do think those Nordic races are extremely Intelligent, intuitive and Creative and my best girlfriend is beautiful blonde so I don't like to stereotype negatively.
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to ad I grew up in an area where it was less than desirable to be mixed in ethnicity and was judged quite harshly for it. I don't think anyone should be judged upon their skin color, hair color, height, sex etc...
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I am not judging nor stereo-typing. I happen to be blond. "Dumb blonde connotes " the dumb women". It has a general description of a behavior. A southern belle has a connotation of its own. There is no judgement. It am trying to describe a personality type. It has a common understanding here in America. My experience with virgo is for the long haul they prefer intellect and lady like behavior.
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Posted by Annie1

.... they prefer intellect and lady like behavior.





You're ridiculous.

There is no such thing as "they", unless of course you are grouping all Virgos into one box of your choosing.

A person's personal preference isn't relative to positioning of planets
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The forum is for opinions and participants view point. I simply expressed my opinion and what I have personally experienced with Virgo men.
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Lol if I disappear I come back but more likely I don't wanna be bothered or I'm going through a lot some time busy or I just really don't want to talk but if I'm feeling u I'm may be afraid of getting hurt or hurting u
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