Virgo Man & Pisces Woman Complicated Situation

So I had started talking to this Virgo guy probably 3 months ago. He had asked me out a couple of times but circumstances didn't allow it until about a month ago. The first date quickly progressed into an entire weekend together and then quite a few more days and nights. Fast forward to last week... I found out that I am pregnant. Obviously not planned nor expected, so we both freaked a little. At this point we had not actually had the relationship talk or anything! When I told him he was very supportive for the first 2 days afterwards. Then he went out of town for Easter... When he returned he said he wanted to talk. He said that after giving it much thought he did not think that we should get into a relationship until well after the baby is born and also that I should give him full custody of the baby once it is here so it can always stay in one home. Obviously I took issue with both of these things. 1. I will never just give up my child. 2. We are compatible, we were heading towards a relationship anyways and if there were ever a better time to try it would be before our baby arrives so it is not here to witness it if it does fail. He told me that if we dated now he would resent me and feel as if I backed him into a corner. We've spent the last 4 nights "discussing" ours and the baby's future. We're just going in circles.
I put some thought into it, after finding out that he would feel so resentful and his inability to even touch me the last few days I decided it is best for me to remove myself emotionally from the situation and drop the expectations of a relationship. I told him this, assuming he would be relieved that we solved 1 issue. He exploded on me and said I was playing mind games and that I wanted something different every other day and he was done talking to me.... So here we are on day 2 of the silent treatment. This whole situation is so confusing to me. He told me he does think we are compatible and that he could easily see us having a future involving marriage but that he doesn't even want to try until the baby is here, so as to avoid feeling like we are doing it just for the baby. I know why I am doing it and it is not because of the baby. I would never force a relationship that wasn't possible for a baby. But I think this one is.
And now the whole silent treatment. I'm feeling very vulnerable and obviously hormonal. This is killing me. What can I do? Can someone explain his actions and words to me? I am so very lost.

Congrats!Your first concern should be for your baby's health.You can't stay stressed.You have got to get yourself centered on yourself and prepare for the changes ahead.You have to start thinking long term.Planning for your babys' future.

Well whether ,he wants to be in a relationship or not,you three are.For the next 18 years,so he has to see that point.Whether he is in the picture or not,you need to know his medical history,so he is in "a relationship" now.

Check your states laws reguarding custody of children.You may have to file even though you are the mother.If you file first,it shows the courts that you are on top of things.The court will deciede who should get how much custody,the child goes one place weekends or or wed through sun ,they go to house moms' house etc.He "can't" just get custody like that,even if he seems to be bullying you into this idea.The court deciedes who is better suited for primary custody.And you can't "keep" your child to yourself either.

He started a relationship the minute he got into bed with you.You two are going to have to find a way to communicate and to compromise.He IS doing it for the sake of the baby,because otherwise ,he would be talking with you now.He's probably shocked,but he doesn't have the right to deciede what is the best course you should take.

Before you talk to him,you have to make some decisions.Plan for two scenerios.Plan like he walked away.Resarch ,drs,daycare,college funds,you career path.Then make some plans that you would like to see happen for the best case with him.You can't make solid plans about him without his input.

Give him a few days to compose himself.Get clear on what you need and want here.Then you two need to met somewhere neutral to start and to keep talking to him about the future.Have and make solid plans.Stop supposing what he is thinking or what is easier for him.You two need to build some trust and learn to support each other.It sounds like you are going to open the way to give and take.Share power.Work together. Communicate and compromise.

Thank you for your responses. I am already on track to do this on my own so that is No problem. The thought of doing it alone scares me and makes me feel very lonely. He finally decided to call. He said I have been acting irrational and he doesn't know what to expect from one convo to the next. He said it's so soon into the relationship he doesn't know weather I am always like this or if it's the baby. Therefore he doesn't even feel like he can converse with me, let alone be in a relationship with me. He said he is to the point that I should let hI'm know when appointments are and How much they cost and thATS it.... this is a major blow to me. I feel so alone right now, and now his support isn't even an option. I tried to explain that Yes I am hormonal from the pregnancy and I needed him to give me the benefit of the doubt. Is there hope here? Is this a ffinal decision or is he just angry with me? I really don't know How to handle this.

Posted by Mr. Defense
Date a Scorpio, I think they work better for Pisces. Virgos are just too above your level for you fish brain to comprehend

Such a dick! I guess you really are heartless!

@OP: given the his(the person you're asking about) response, do you really want a relationship with him? Trust me, you can find better. Give him an opportunity to be a father. If he shirks his responsibility, which he's already trying to do, do what's necessary in the interests of the child. As others have suggested, look into your laws and I'd even have an attorney on standby. But don't take it there unless you have to but it looks like he's not leaving you any choice at this point. Hopefully, he'll do right by you.

Best wishes and sorry for the insult by the jerk!

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by Mr. Defense
Date a Scorpio, I think they work better for Pisces. Virgos are just too above your level for you fish brain to comprehend

Such a dick! I guess you really are heartless!

@OP: given the his(the person you're asking about) response, do you really want a relationship with him? Trust me, you can find better. Give him an opportunity to be a father. If he shirks his responsibility, which he's already trying to do, do what's necessary in the interests of the child. As others have suggested, look into your laws and I'd even have an attorney on standby. But don't take it there unless you have to but it looks like he's not leaving you any choice at this point. Hopefully, he'll do right by you.

Best wishes and sorry for the insult by the jerk!

You're a good man. I like your posts. I haven't favorited anybody, but you might be one day favorited.

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Thank you CC 🙂 I enjoy your posts as well. It would be an honor to be on your list 🙂

Thank you. After taking a night to sleep on it and put some thought into it I have decided that I am in fact going to be OK without him. Better off even. It May be a challenging pregnany but I deserve to be treated like more than an option in his life, as does our child.

Good for you piscestiffy313 🙂


good luck with everything!