Virgo Man , Separated but married.

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by PeachWood on Saturday, September 28, 2013 and has 18 replies.
I met a Virgo man (I'm a Capricorn woman). The attraction was immediate, but in our nerdy, analytic thinking sort of way. We met in person first, then became friends on Facebook. He messaged me first, and we had a wonderful conversation about science, music, physics, movies ... nothing really personal in nature and definitely not sexual. I knew he was married, but I had seen a post he'd made earlier in the week about looking for a room mate as he was about to get a divorce. I didn't think much of it really. A few days later I messaged him and said "Sup?" He didn't reply that day, and again I thought nothing of it as I assumed he was with his wife and wasn't going to bother him or try to cause trouble. The next day he replied with "Sorry it took me so long to reply to your message, I've just been really busy moving my stuff out but I'll message you later when I'm finished." I have to admit, I was FLOORED by that. Anyway, he did message me later and we ended up talking via text ALL NIGHT until he had to be at work the next morning. He said he'd sleep when he was dead, lol, it was worth it talking to me. This went on for 2 more nights until he asked me to go see a movie with him. I did, we went for drinks, he brought me home and stayed in the truck with me again until it was time for him to go to work. Our connection was amazing & reciprocal. Things progressed quickly and everything was literally perfect, UNTIL, he told his wife about me. Not to be ugly, but his wife is obese & rather plain. I'm a 5'9 Kathrine Heigl look alike. I knew even though she's the one that wanted the divorce as soon as she saw me it was the beginning of the end. After that, even though he spent every day with me, she texted & harassed him constantly threatening to take everything & make him pay a ridiculous amount of child support if he didn't stop seeing me. He refused. As the days went by though I could see he was becoming more stressed and was missing his children. She began harassing him at work, and I could see it was taking a toll on him. I finally told him I couldn't be a part of their feud, that I loved him but I couldn't be the reason she destroyed his relationship with his kids. He said he understood, that he cared for me more than he could express and would never forget me. 2 days later he was back with his wife. I was STUNNED. I tried to tell him that right now she feels like she's won, but will punish him for being with me in every way she can. We have mutual friends (th
Your playing with fire. Unless he's officially divorced there is a very strong possibility he'll go back to his wife.
And the other reason it's a red flag is that all this is very fresh and he could still like the feeling of having a woman by his side b/c it's familiar and it's comfortable but that doesn't mean he's into you as if he's ready for a new relationship, he's not, he's just scared of being alone right now.
"Not to be ugly, but his wife is obese & rather plain."
And he still loves that obese ugly woman. He married her so I'm sure he didn't care what she looked like, I'm sure she was one burger from fat when he met her so yeah i don't think he really cared about her looks.
To not be ugly to you but from how you describe your looks you appear available and fuckable to him right now. If he's married to chop steak and can finally have filet mignon well he's going to eat.
"He said he understood, that he cared for me more than he could express and would never forget me. 2 days later he was back with his wife. I was STUNNED. I tried to tell him that right now she feels like she's won, but will punish him for being with me in every way she can. We have mutual friends (th"
As I said in the beginning there is a strong possibility he'll go back to her and it really isn't about the money or kids, he truly loves her and he used you to get her back by making her extremely jealous which reminded her how much she really did still love him which moved her to fight to keep him and that's what he needed from her more than anything.
He probably felt neglected and ignored and disrespected by his wife but that's not enough to destroy years of marriage for some men. He basically scared her straight by dangling you in her face.
Steer away from men that are separated, the wife usually always wins.
Now had he never told his wife about you, proceeded with the divorce and then proceeded to get serious with you in that order I'd say your odds of having a real relationship appears to have significantly better odds to grow.
Let it go. You play with fire you'll get burn
LOL why would he tell his WIFE about you unless he wanted her to hurt? How manipulative.
+1 Virgo.
I don't think he so much told her about me as she figured it out by stalking his facebook and when she called him out on it he admitted it.
"I don't think he so much told her about me as she figured it out by stalking his facebook and when she called him out on it he admitted it."
Yep he told her about youjust like you said, don't back pedal, he made sure she knew about you b/c he never intended on staying with you and rightfully so, a lot of men do not want to leave their wives, they'll save the marriage if they can.
Had he not said one word about you, followed through with the divorce you'd both still be together. I'm sure you're hurting over this but why not learn from it and wish him the best.
This situation you're in is a no brainer. In the words of NeNe Leakes keep yo legs closed to married men.
Also, part of what I wrote got cut off. He and I (not his wife) have a lot of mutual friends (that don't know about us) and they're telling me lately how unhappy and moody he is at work but of course they don't know why and he can't say anything because we agreed to keep it from everyone until the divorce was final. (It was in fact, filed). Keep in mind he did refuse to stop seeing me even after her threats, it was me that took a step back. I think it was more likely because I broke it off with him and he knew he wasn't going to be happy that instead of being broke from paying $ 1000 a month cs he just went back to what he was used to. He's already paying for it. His wife and mother in law have harassed me on Facebook, knowing full well I've never disrespected either of them. They're out for blood. Not mine, his. I've ignored it and blocked them.
Too, he married he because she got pregnant and his mother is a Methodist preacher and insisted they get married. Another thing is, he's adopted, and harbors strong resentment against anyone that doesn't raise their children. He is a good father. He's a good person. They're both just stuck in an awful, abusive marriage because they have children. It really is a sad situation all the way around.
I see him several times a week (through business) and while polite he can't look me in the eye and his hands visibly shake. I don't message or text him, I have more respect for his family than that.
She's a Sag and he's a Virgo. She wanted a divorce because he's cheated o her in the past. They're both miserable. They have nothing in common other than their children. (2 little girls) There's physical abuse (mostly from her) and they both drink a lot but only when they're together.
I'm not stupid, I know there are two sides to every story. That seems irrelevant though when the situation becomes violent and there are small children involved.
LOL @ she is obese, as if that means anything. Addie Cibrian left his gorgeous wife for that ugly Virgo songstress, I forgot her name. Looks mean nothing when the hearts are connected.
"Also, part of what I wrote got cut off. He and I (not his wife) have a lot of mutual friends (that don't know about us) and they're telling me lately how unhappy and moody he is at work but of course they don't know why and he can't say anything because we agreed to keep it from everyone until the divorce was final"
If only he had kept it from his wife. Can't you see. If he can keep it from his friends surely he could have kept it from his wife. Given that he didn't keep it from his wife is very telling.
"His wife and mother in law have harassed me on Facebook, knowing full well I've never disrespected either of them. They're out for blood. Not mine, his. I've ignored it and blocked them. "
You're paying for it too.
Who cares about why he married her. No one put a gun to his head and no forced him to stay. You are like a lot of women who get caught up in a married mans life. Don't you have your own life to worry about and tend to?
He seems like a good enough guy but he's sounding more and more like a desperate housewife.
Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by WaterCup
LOL @ she is obese, as if that means anything. Addie Cibrian left his gorgeous wife for that ugly Virgo songstress, I forgot her name. Looks mean nothing when the hearts are connected.


hah! please it's not her heart he wants, it's her money!
click to expand


He is a cancer too, so I'll believe you.
Thank you for your input. I would like to point out, that while I did know he was married, he also ASSURED me he was done with his wife before I ever agreed to go out with him. Now, clearly people lie and sometimes they mean what they say at the time but later change their minds. I can't hold that against him, I've done it myself. I guess my main concern is that I just feel sad for both of us because we were genuinely happy. I'm alright, although I do miss him. It does bother me to know he's right back in the same miserable situation he was in before though, probably ten-fold now, but that was his choice.
I have indeed learned from this experience though. No more married men.
Or is he a Gemini? Let me go check.
Posted by PeachWood
Thank you for your input. I would like to point out, that while I did know he was married, he also ASSURED me he was done with his wife before I ever agreed to go out with him. Now, clearly people lie and sometimes they mean what they say at the time but later change their minds. I can't hold that against him, I've done it myself. I guess my main concern is that I just feel sad for both of us because we were genuinely happy. I'm alright, although I do miss him. It does bother me to know he's right back in the same miserable situation he was in before though, probably ten-fold now, but that was his choice.
I have indeed learned from this experience though. No more married men.


You'll be alright, dear. If it's meant to be it'll be & if it's not then..you gather your lessons and move on.
Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by WaterCup
Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by WaterCup
LOL @ she is obese, as if that means anything. Addie Cibrian left his gorgeous wife for that ugly Virgo songstress, I forgot her name. Looks mean nothing when the hearts are connected.


hah! please it's not her heart he wants, it's her money!


He is a cancer too, so I'll believe you.


Hell no, that bastard is a Gemini.
click to expand


You're right.
"She's a Sag and he's a Virgo. She wanted a divorce because he's cheated o her in the past."
If he cheated on her in the past and didn't leave her then why leave her for you? Because you're a 5'9 Kathrine Heigl look alike.
What is wrong with you? This man is a serial cheater. Has never left his wife for any of the other women he's cheated with and it never crossed your mind that he'd create some cock and bull story about how miserable he is, not in love with his wife just to get some attention, affection and some ass.
You bought that same as is lie all the other OTHER WOMEN buy. He'll cheat again and use that same whoa is me lie.
Why do you care about him and his cocka mamie stories so much? Are you the type that date married men?
Something is off with you.
Can't you see you got played for a fool?

jesus fucking christ


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Peachwood I seriously have so much empathy for you because I can see how hurt you are, when you've found someone who you've connected with, it's so hard to let go, but I just want you understand, that you can't continue to keep making excuses for this guys actions.
Men need to be men, if he's unhappy he needs to leave, no matter the consequences. Being broke is better than being miserable.
Thank you, and I do believe he will leave again and soon at that. I've had some dealings with his wife. She's cruel and snarky, and reminding him of what a screw up he is every chance she gets. Remember, they were violent with each other and miserable before I ever came into the picture. She'll think of me every time he touches her now because she has serious self esteem issues. Ugh. Terrible situation.
", he also ASSURED me he was done with his wife before I ever agreed to go out with him"
And that's why he assured you.
He knew if he told you which includes all the other women he's cheated with that he just wanted some ass, attention and some affection (basically to use you) the answer would be know so it's just easier to lie instead which only benefits him.
"I guess my main concern is that I just feel sad for both of us because we were genuinely happy. I'm alright, although I do miss him."
You were happy, he was always going back to his wife. He's back in the same miserable situation because he's secretly miserable.
A miserable man that INTRUDES in unsuspecting women's lives all for the BENEFIT of himself and his selfish desires.
The only loser in this is you. It's a win win situation for him. In the end he didn't lose anything, he had you and gained a wife.
When a man admits he's a cheater, that was your queue to exit, he's telling you he's a serial cheating assclown. The outcome was obvious.
"Thank you, and I do believe he will leave again and soon at that. I've had some dealings with his wife. She's cruel and snarky, and reminding him of what a screw up he is every chance she gets. Remember, they were violent with each other and miserable before I ever came into the picture. She'll think of me every time he touches her now because she has serious self esteem issues. Ugh. Terrible situation."
I don't feel empathy for you at all b/c you seem like you don't care, you're clueless.
Had it ever occurred to you that the same qualities he see in his wife are the same qualities he see in you.
Katherine Heigl look alike or not you both have low self esteem. So take the plank out of your own eye.
Stop judging this woman because unless you've walked in her shoes you don't know what the hell you're talking about.