Virgo Men and BreakUps

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by corrina22 on Tuesday, March 4, 2008 and has 28 replies.
I am a Leo and have been experiencing the "distancing" that my Virgo man does. Essentially I was unable to comprehend his demands for space and mistook it as him abandoning me. Needless to say, he was unable to change this about himself and I was unable to change my need for constant attention.
However, after reading others' posts I realize it's not something he does to intentionally hurt me, but now it may be too late to salvage the relationship. I am hoping that he gives us another shot.
Any insights and/or advice for how I should go about approaching him? When a Virgo man breaks off a serious relationship, how do they cope with it? Is it done for good or do they try to get back together?

corrina22,
If you have a genuine need for constant attention, look for a boyfriend from some other Sign. Virgs won't play that game. We will love, honor, and cherish you with absolute loyalty & fidelity, but we will not stroke your ego 24x7 -- that is "fake" to us...
My Leo Mom accepted as a fact that my Virgo Dad adored her. Not because he kept his lips glued to her ass all day long, but because of the way he looked at her, touched her, and didn't hesitate to plant a big smooch on her in front of anyone anytime when the occasion warranted it. Genuine. Affection. Honest. Respect. That's what we give, and what we expect to receive...
If you still want to pursue something with him, it matters who did the breaking up. We don't end serious relationships on a whim, so if he broke up with you, it's probably a done deal. If you broke up with him, it may be recoverable -- if you two had enough mutual depth of feelings, and the manner of the breakup hasn't thoroughly p1ssed him off...
We may not forget an insult, but we will forgive it. IF you are sincere in your desire to make amends.
I am no expert on Virgo man...but my Virguy seems to fit the description pretty well. We broke up a while ago because we both travel and getting together was getting harder and harder to arrange between both of our schedules. Anyway. I got frustrated and ended it. I felt sick about it almost immediately-but I knew he was pretty pissed. I didn't call-but I did email when I thought of something funny or something I thought he would be interested in...but no pressure to get in touch. Anyway....about a week into the separation he started talking to me again...and things have been even better since. He knows how unhappy I really was and has really made an attempt to make more time and I have learned to be a little more patient. In fact...we got engaged over the holidays : ) Good luck with your virguy....be patient.
"They are mental guys and live in their heads, but if they care about you they will be thinking about you all the time .."
Absolutly agree with this .. a Virgo rarely, if ever, makes a clean break from a loved one. Though, they make a decision that the relationship wasn't working out and needs to end .. finding closure takes ages because they have to go through an extensive mental processing to reason-out everything that transpired.
If the break-up was recent, and he hasn't found any kind of closure, then to re-connect is still possible.
If you do still want to fix this, and you get back together .. you're going to have to understand that the Virgo interpretation of "attention" is a bit slanted compared to other signs, for he will continue to appear as though he isn't giving you enough, and will be unable to change it because it is who he is.
The rest of the zodiac feels that attention should come to soothe emotions, to make feel adored, pampered, important through affectionate nurturing of feelings ... and this isn't the Virgo way to make displays of this kind of attention .. though, the aim is in the same place.
Instead, they are providers on a material level, for the sake of you emotionally. He will be thinking in terms of what you NEED to make your life easier, of what you NEED done that might be a dreaded task. Though, you may think he's not paying attention .. he is .. he's thinking about how to make you happy by providing to you what it will take to make your life chores less of a burden .. and this is done for your benefit, to enjoy more moments with less stress.
How to approach him .. being upfront and direct will always get a Virgo's attention. Tell him that you've thought long and hard about the two of you and that you want to try this again.
Hope that helped .. good luck smilesmile
it all depends. I'm a virgo girl and my virgo guy have been broken up for almost a year and he still hasn't been able to let go.
I'm born august 27th and him august 30th. we were on and off for almost a year and we were each other's first everything. literally.
it's different with every guy cause before we dated he was seeing a cancer girl for six months and was on a break with her and ended kissing another gemini girl that he was really good friends with. she was in love with him but he only saw her as a little sister. he didn't want to admit that he had feelings for her cause she was young.
for Corinna22; explain to him why youre upset, apologize, give him his space, and be patient. he needs to time think if this is what he truly wants. when my virgo and I had broken up, he went out and hooked up with girls that liked him and whom he was slightly attractd to but virgo guys go for quality rather than quantity. he came running back to me saying "there's no other girl out there like you" but I couldn't take him back. he caused me way too much pain. being a virgo girl; once you've betrayed me in any way I don't look at you the same way anymore. anyhow, if he really loved you then he knows there's hope to get back together. hell, we've tried almost over 50 times. now, I'm with a scorpio guy and he so fine and so mine Big Grin good luck and I hope everything turns out well
Branh pretty much nailed it.
For myself, I "break up" with someone internally and start separating myself before I do the actual act of breaking up with them.
If I'm being dumped, I get over her pretty fast and am usually back to 100% within the week heh. It is said that Virgo men are known as the "Bachelor's" of all the signs and we're quite content about it Tongue

Virgos don't generally break up with people they still have an interest in.
*********
I agree, this insensitive sign is infact very sensitive Winking..
I do not think so! Virgos can not forget an item or person they dealt with in the past.
They will love not admitting it.

Oh for sure! But there is a difference between that and getting over someone.
I agree, this insensitive sign is infact very sensitive Winking..
Now THIS is the part we love not admitting Tongue

Hi Corina,
I was once dating a lovely Leo girl and in the end we split mainly because of her constant need for attention and validation (distance also played a large part). She was really sexy and genuinely nice, but I found her need for constant psychological support tiring. This aside, she really was wife material and the man who snags her will be one happy bunny (esecially in bed *wink wink*).
Regarding your question, I think you can probably win him back if you are 1000% honest and explain the situation to him. Men are normally crap at guessing or telepathy, they must be told in plain syllables :-) If you had something good going on, then he may get all the warm feelings back and give you another chance.
I wish you all the best :-)
I agree with the above post also...Virgos are VERY sensitive people and easy to hurt. They hide it well behind a facade of 'stiffness' and seriousness, but any good psychologist can see right through that (or anyone who has ever been involved emotionally with a Virgo).
Speaking personally, I come across as super confident and unbreakable...and I am. But I am also very sensitive and deeply hurt if the one I love rejects me or betrays me.
""caprigirlwithvirgo:
Virgos are insensitive without feelings and tehy only feel through HEAD!!!:-)""
so your saying....we only feel when given HEAD! lol.. well duh anyone would feeL something when given HEAD. lol
""They do not care for any body. They are not that great!:-):-):-).""
that is bullshit right there! you don't know a damn things about Virgos
I remember when I tried to have a heart to heart talk with my husband..one time in the car..
Me: Honey, I want to tell you about....
Virgo: ....... .......
Me: well, you see, the way I show love is by words of affirmation..so..
Virgo: .................. (no facial or verbal response)
Me: that is how I feel loved in return...so..
Virgo:...............(serious/bored facial expression)....
Me: (yeah, he doesn't want to talk about it, I can tell.)
Virgo: doesn't talk at all till we get home. no response..no talking..nothing.

Why is it so hard for a virgo to open up? Didn't I initiate the heart to heart talk with him? I don't get anything in return..? gee thanks
Reiniba I suggest that you give your husband that android test shown in Bladerunner...you know, the Voight-Kompf test performed by Deckard on the replicants in order to determine that they are not human.
Then after he fails the test, you can use this as evidence in the divorce court to fleece him Winking
likeBrad this is news to me!
What did he do/not do, if I may ask? Sorry to hear this ;(
That's not how it should be...like you wrote, he should be beside you as an equal. Has he always been like this, or is it more recent behaviour? Maybe he feels insecure...
Take care smile
"Should i stay or go"
Im a Virgo woman and i have been with my Virgo man for about three months, we both love each other..."yes" he told me so suprisingly enough. so far our relationship has been great, we respect each other, talk about everything, he shows effection instead of telling me how much he cares....just recently i got him upset with something i said, so i gave him a day to get over it, but little did i know he was still upset, i have not heard from him by phone for about 5 days now, but in between he has been texting me...oh yeah let me just add right before he got upset with me, he got his truck towed while he was at work, his son burned up his mothers house , so now hes taking care of him, plus his job is very stressful....since im a Virgo im trying to analize all aspects of this without being selfish....does he want to leave me and dont know how to tell me ?? or does he just need some time to himself....should i wait for him to communicate with me or should i just give up on him.....p.s. i do love him with all my heart & i think hes my soulmate....i have expressed to him how hurt i am...of coarse through texts only !!!!!!
"i have expressed to him how hurt i am"

Women irritate the fuck out of me .. they are so damn needy.
Didn't you just say that you hurt HIM, and then on top of that he has some major family/personal issues to contend with?
What was the point in telling him that?
Sorry if that offended you .. but, it irritated the crap out of me.
this is not about being needy...its about being a man and saying how you feel...when i got him upset that was a whole seperate issue....i am not going to sit around waiting for a grown man to let me know whether he wants to be with me or not because he had a fit over a simple conversation....i did not say anything damaging to him at all for him to act this way
Wow its funny because my horoscope said to turn out the lights in a relationship that has been hurting you and move on...easier said then done.....im just confused because my Virgo man was communicating to me through text only & anytime i said to him if you dont want to be in this i will leave you alone, he would never respond, im trying to make it as easy as possible for him to break it off with me if thats what he wants, he doesnt even have to tell me over the phone, i will except a text....im a Virgo myself and i know how hard it is to hurt people we love or trying to move on from....anyway i sent him a nice letter to express everything i have been feeling lately and i feel much better so either way it turns out i know i did my best in this relationship and it's on him if he still loves me to communicate with me
"im just confused because my Virgo man was communicating to me through text only & anytime i said to him if you dont want to be in this i will leave you alone, he would never respond, im trying to make it as easy as possible for him to break it off with me if thats what he wants, he doesnt even have to tell me over the phone, i will except a text"

I'm unclear why you are trying to manipulate him. This is a backwards suggestion inferring that he doesn't want to be with you, when he never said that .... on the contrary, he contacts you regularly via texts.
You say you're trying to make it easier for him .. when in reality, you're attempting to make him feel guilty by putting words in his mouth to suggest that he doesn't like you.
Why are you doing that?
Stop it ....

"it's on him if he still loves me to communicate with me"
He is communicating with you, all the time via texts according to the post on the previous page .... the only time he is silent in his communication is when you put a manipulative-guilt-trip on him with intentions of getting him to say what you want to hear. Why else would you tell him he doesn't want you, when he didn't say those words to you?
Stop it ...
"just recently i got him upset with something i said, so i gave him a day to get over it, but little did i know he was still upset"
"....i am not going to sit around waiting for a grown man to let me know whether he wants to be with me or not because he had a fit over a simple conversation....i did not say anything damaging to him at all for him to act this way"
"this is not about being needy...its about being a man and saying how you feel"
--------------------------------
Yes, it is indeed about you being needy.
You know, things that happen in peoples lives are processed on the level of importance, or painful, according to their personal circumstances ... and care must be taken with a partner when we say words to them when they are at a stressful point in their lives. And I don't see you having as much concern about him, as you are about your own needs.
From your perspective, what you said to him was minor and wasn't worth going into a tailspin over .... however, your perspective isn't in the same frame of mind that his is in because your house didn't just burn down, and your transportation in peril.
His life is in shambles right now due to circumstances, and any little infraction is going to seem like a mountain ... you are only looking at this isolated incidence of what you said to him as though he should just get over it, without ever considering how stressful his life is at the moment. And in this selfish mind-set you have about your own emotional needs .... is causing you to lay on him more distress by insinuating that if he doesn't step up to your plate (which still has it's car, and house) ... then he'll lose you too.
In your first post, you said that he loves you and has displayed this to you with affection, and that you love him back .. he's your soulmate. That's what you said ..... if you love him, then why can't you comprehend that he's having issues right now and needs compassion, rather than a woman who needs him to carry her emotional baggage as well?
His life is a little fucked right now ... do you not have the empathy to realize that when a person's life is in shambles that every little episode that takes place feels like a travesty?
Why don't you try being nurturing? I've lived with a male Virgo for 25 years, and I guarantee you .. your boyfriend doesn't need to be told ANYTHING about how he's supposed to feel or react .. what he needs is the support and understanding of the one who loves him.
Okay let me be very clear, because ive been known to do that....1st of all silence is a killer especially when you love someone....if he's not around me at all, not talking to me over the phone like we usually do, what am i suppose to think...if your in a relationship you should never leave room for your partner to have to guess about anything....that's where the word "Communication" comes in at.
Lately he has not been texting me at all....all im left with knowing is that we had a debate he stop speaking to me, he texted me once or twice and then all communication was cut off on his end....Im a Virgo we dont just put our hearts on the line for just anyone... I will admit lately he been going through some things, but he had no problem talking to me about his issues until now, and i am jut left to think anything, i know life is not fair, but i am a good woman and i dont deserve this type of treatment, i have shown and proved to him that whatever he goes through i will be there no matter what it is.
Im going to try to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe he's going through alot right now...but i dont know how long i can hold on...it hurts too bad.....i know that he is my soulmate.
how can i give someone compassion that wont even talk to me, you dont just cut yourself completely off from someone you love. and i have shown compassion from day one when i found out about his problems...this is not just about me and my feelings, this is about him not leeting me in so i can show some emphathy or compassion...he knows i will be there for him if he needs me.
I have also expressed to him that im very sorry for saying what i said, it was the wrong time.....let me also be clear on what was said since we are having grown conversation...we were suppose to go to a show last Saturday and i expressed to him thathe always shows up late to pick me up and he knows that we have a certain time to be some where & he got crazy over that screaming and getting upset, i did not realize by me saying that he would have got crazy over it....your right, under any other circumstances he would have have gotten so angry.
And another thing you talked about what a man needs when hes going through something...what about how im feeling right now because of the distance between me and him, is that suppose to be totally forgotten because he's going through something...that's not right, you have to be careful who you hurt in the process of what your going through because otherwise you may not have those same people to turn to when you feel better or your situation gets better. i am his woman & i want to be there through good time s or bad times.
And another thing...oh boy you got me started....what gets me is that people walk around like they are as hard as a rock all the time and act like nothing hurts them, then expect someone to give then compassion and understand that they are hurting and going through something...that's crazy...if people would stop being so scared to show thier feelings and let people know that they are human and what they really need maybe people could comply with that.
i am a very compassionate person, very caring and loyal, if you need me im there...if you read the sign Virgo, you would know where our heats are, we always worry about other people's problems
"And another thing...oh boy you got me started .."

You need to get it out, otherwise ........ he will get it all, and that will only push him away further.

That's true, beacause i will admit that this is helping me, i guess i thought if he just said i dont want to be with you i culd deal with this better, because at least i know something...but to not know what's going on is very hurtful because really want to be there for him
You may have a point...but i believe what the horoscopes says...most of the time it is hitting right on the nail how im feeling...but my decision would not only be based on my horoscope....or i would have to question my own love i have for my boyfriend

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