Virgo Men Charm and then Shut Down?
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by aquanik on Sunday, June 4, 2006 and has 15 replies.
I (Aqua Female)have been in a relationship for five months with a Virgo Man. Everything started out great. We would spend weekends together and we would talk on the phone every night during the week. He used to make statements like he felt he was getting to attached, however, the relationship remained the same....until...3 weeks ago. For some strange reason, he has shut down. I know he was having a problem with his roommate (cousin) paying bills on time and we discussed this before. I feel like something is wrong but he will not open up to me at all. I spoke with him on Friday and he said he wasn't in the mood to do anything. He has some wonderful qualities. A very hard worker and works 5 to 6 days a week. Loves to cook...I thought he was the perfect choice.
I started to question if it was someone else, ...He immediately turned the tables on me and said if I continue to ask "Stupid" questions or make "Stupid" remarks, he would end the call...Where did this come from???
From cooking me dinner, wanting to know the plans for the weekend, to nothing...
My question... When VIRGO MEN are going through something, do they normally distance themselves until they feel SECURE AGAIN??
Will he bounce back or should I run Like HELL????
I started to question if it was someone else, ...He immediately turned the tables on me and said if I continue to ask "Stupid" questions or make "Stupid" remarks, he would end the call...Where did this come from???
From cooking me dinner, wanting to know the plans for the weekend, to nothing...
My question... When VIRGO MEN are going through something, do they normally distance themselves until they feel SECURE AGAIN??
Will he bounce back or should I run Like HELL????
OH Lady do I feel for you!!
I also am an aqua female involved with a Virgo male, almost 1 year now.
We started out exactly the same. Spent every available minute together, calling, e mails, etc. until 1 day he just distanced himself. I was confused & upset of course. I asked him about it..he confessed he had lost his job, had money problems, was going to lose his house & so on.
He's not one to talk about emotions so I knew that was hard for him to tell me. I also know he has a huge amt of pride (like most men) so I just simply said "Ok, well if you need me I am here." & left it at that.
He continued to call about every other day & we didn't see each other much till things settled down for him. I always let him do the calling...I give him as much space as he needs.
So if he's anything like mine, I refused to give up on him. Virgos can be very difficult & prideful, but I still adore mine.
I hope this helps?
Help
I also am an aqua female involved with a Virgo male, almost 1 year now.
We started out exactly the same. Spent every available minute together, calling, e mails, etc. until 1 day he just distanced himself. I was confused & upset of course. I asked him about it..he confessed he had lost his job, had money problems, was going to lose his house & so on.
He's not one to talk about emotions so I knew that was hard for him to tell me. I also know he has a huge amt of pride (like most men) so I just simply said "Ok, well if you need me I am here." & left it at that.
He continued to call about every other day & we didn't see each other much till things settled down for him. I always let him do the calling...I give him as much space as he needs.
So if he's anything like mine, I refused to give up on him. Virgos can be very difficult & prideful, but I still adore mine.
I hope this helps?
Help
You never know what's going to set them off. Besides, I don't ever think they truly feel secure.
...or walk away. You just have to learn to pace yourself with Virgos if you want a long-lasting relationship. If you love yourself more than your Virgo you've got a head start.
This sounds kinda scary, I'm thinking about starting a relationship with a Virgo. I hope he doesn't just shut down. It would drive me nuts to have to wait for the revival. What's the best thing to do again? Just leave him alone until he crawls out of the hole. Is there anything to do besides waiting. Like maybe ease him along towards the sunlight or maybe throw a firecracker in the tomb? Will that work?
I received a txt from my Virgo early this afternoon asking if I was at work because he had to tell me something "juicy"...
I replied "Yes"....and......NOTHING...I have not heard from him since then..I am so confused...
I replied "Yes"....and......NOTHING...I have not heard from him since then..I am so confused...
Thanks for the responses.. all are very helpful!
Not going to give up on him, just yet...
Help66, My Virgo sounds a lot like yours...Interesting!!!
Not going to give up on him, just yet...
Help66, My Virgo sounds a lot like yours...Interesting!!!
Branh0913, I happen to like Mr. Virgo.
I know he has something going on and I am willing to give him some time. How much? not sure.
CancerBuddy, I hear you loud and clear...I will continue with my ADL's (activities of daily living)!! If he snaps out of whatever this is and I'm available, I will listen and try to get a better understanding...If I'm into something else..SEE YA!! Typical AQUA
I know he has something going on and I am willing to give him some time. How much? not sure.
CancerBuddy, I hear you loud and clear...I will continue with my ADL's (activities of daily living)!! If he snaps out of whatever this is and I'm available, I will listen and try to get a better understanding...If I'm into something else..SEE YA!! Typical AQUA
Branh, you are so incorrect.
I really like Mr. Virgo.
He is really nice. Like I said, I am willing to give the relationship some time. Maybe it is MY FEARS. I can admit, I do have abadonment issues, as I lost my Father and at very early age and my Mother recently. Then divorced after 5 years. This is the first relationship I have been in since my divorce (2003).
Virgo really doesn't have any since of style and he will be the first to tell you that. He is very laid back and most of our time is spent at his place. He's not the type to hang out. I have no problem with that. We spend time enjoying eachother..It's just the past three weeks.
So now what???
I really like Mr. Virgo.
He is really nice. Like I said, I am willing to give the relationship some time. Maybe it is MY FEARS. I can admit, I do have abadonment issues, as I lost my Father and at very early age and my Mother recently. Then divorced after 5 years. This is the first relationship I have been in since my divorce (2003).
Virgo really doesn't have any since of style and he will be the first to tell you that. He is very laid back and most of our time is spent at his place. He's not the type to hang out. I have no problem with that. We spend time enjoying eachother..It's just the past three weeks.
So now what???
Branh,
What next..Virgo with no sense of style , I truly like him and I am willing to wait..what next my friend??
What next..Virgo with no sense of style , I truly like him and I am willing to wait..what next my friend??
**** BRIEF INTERMISSION ****
I live in Sandy Springs.
That is all the info I need. When shall I schedule our trip to the Vegas chapel.
Thanks a bunch!!
I live in Fairburn. I lived in Vinings before Fairburn.
I live in Fairburn. I lived in Vinings before Fairburn.
Aquanik,
I agree with Branh on this one but I do understand what you are going through. Until recently, I kept hoping that things were going to work out between me and a Virguy but now I know that it won't happen. I was falling for him very hard and I would do almost anything for him but he shut me out because we became too close. He has even told me he is "Rotton to the Core" his quote. Him and are are so different and I liked that but he couldn't handle it. Him and his friends told me that I was too good for him and I don't think that. I'm an optimistic person and he was not. He always found the negative side of things and that he never expects to be happy, ever. Well, that should of been my clue because when his friends saw him with me he was happy and even when I wasn't around. When he broke up with me (basically by not talking to me until I confronted him) his friends were pissed at him because they all thought I was good for him. He doesn't want to be happy and I can not do anything about it no matter what. I have been so emotionally drained from the situation that I have aloud it to affect the other areas of my life and I'm a Sag and I usually can just move on and let go but it has taken me months to let this one go and only because I have realized there is no hope. When they stop communicating with you for a long time then it is time to give them up or you will be hurt more than you thought you could. You will not change their mind and they don't want to be helped.......Good Luck
I agree with Branh on this one but I do understand what you are going through. Until recently, I kept hoping that things were going to work out between me and a Virguy but now I know that it won't happen. I was falling for him very hard and I would do almost anything for him but he shut me out because we became too close. He has even told me he is "Rotton to the Core" his quote. Him and are are so different and I liked that but he couldn't handle it. Him and his friends told me that I was too good for him and I don't think that. I'm an optimistic person and he was not. He always found the negative side of things and that he never expects to be happy, ever. Well, that should of been my clue because when his friends saw him with me he was happy and even when I wasn't around. When he broke up with me (basically by not talking to me until I confronted him) his friends were pissed at him because they all thought I was good for him. He doesn't want to be happy and I can not do anything about it no matter what. I have been so emotionally drained from the situation that I have aloud it to affect the other areas of my life and I'm a Sag and I usually can just move on and let go but it has taken me months to let this one go and only because I have realized there is no hope. When they stop communicating with you for a long time then it is time to give them up or you will be hurt more than you thought you could. You will not change their mind and they don't want to be helped.......Good Luck
***UPDATE*** I heard from Mr. Virgo via txt today...I asked him what he had to tell me yesterday and he responded that his roommate is in jail and he might be there for a while. I asked would he have to get another a roommate and he said he doesn't need one...I know for a fact, he was already concerned about his roommate coming up short with bill $ ...I think he wants me to think he candle handle things on his own, however, I am here for him...He refuses to open up to me so I will go along with the "I don't need one"..I think is the root of the shut down syndrome...
Sounds like maybe some doubt crept in and he is being safe this way until he can be more confident in the whole thing.
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