Virgo Woman Cold Even Though She's Into Me

This topic was created in the Virgo Women forum by CapricornGuy12 on Friday, January 1, 2016 and has 81 replies.
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First of all, I can't even believe I'm posting on here, but I've been reading tons of posts on here trying to learn about this new Virgo girl I've been dating, so I figured maybe I can get some reassurance from my Virgos to make sure I don't mess this up lol.

I started seeing a Virgo female for the past month and we've have had so much fun... when we're together. It seems like when we're not, there's hardly any communication, but when we finally connect and hang out, everything is awesome. I didn't even know she was into me until she started getting touchy/feely on our second date (our first date we just went to eat and had great conversation) and I was shocked truthfully because she's so beautiful, I never thought she'd be into me.

By the third time we hung out, she brought up the whole "have you dated lately" question and we talked about it a bit and I told her it's been a while and I'm kind of lost at how to date, but I like where we're headed and I've enjoyed the time we've spent together. She said she's been cheated and lied to in past relationships (has been single 3 years) and I confessed I was too in my last one, so I know how she felt, and we agreed to keep things going how they are. I even manned up and kissed her that night and she kissed me back, so I knew she's definitely into me.

But ever since, it's been a game of hot and cold in terms of communication. I did take her some soup when she was sick a week later and I think she appreciated it, but she did mention she's not used to someone doing that for her. I was just worried and wanted her to feel better. But she gave me this look... I don't know how to explain it, sort of googly eye.. We were supposed to go out of town two days later, but she was sick and we couldn't and she hasn't mentioned anything about it. But I offered to take her to the doctor and told her if she needed anything to let me know.

Anyway, it's hard not to get discouraged when she starts pulling away, but she'll pop in every day or two and then never text back or go cold, so I just want to make sure I'm headed in the right direction since I really like this girl. I've tried to be as patient as I can and given her space, but it's been hard because usually when two people like each other, they want to talk all the time and be in contact, but this seems to be the opposite. I've definitely not tried to be too pushy, but just show I care. It just baffles me how she can text me "Merry Xmas Eve" but then I hit her with the "Merry Xmas" the next day and she never texted back lol. Or I'll ask her what she's up to and she'll txt back 24 hours later. Under any other circumstances, I'd say she's not into me, but the time we actually spend together tells a whole different story. It's just frustrating.

What should I do to make her feel comfortable with me and not think I'm playing games or at the least, get her to trust me a bit? Does this phase go away soon? I swear to God I'm going crazy over here

Wow th
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She's been single for a while now. Idk, but she IS an earth sign so she may have fallen into her habits or routines, which mean its probably easy for her to go into her comfort zone. I think you may have to push through if you want her. Stop thinking about what she may be thinking, and just tell yourself that you want to be around and a part of her life. I think sometimes with earth/earth the overanalyzing can mess up the flow and send weird signals. Just go for it imo....

btw Im not a Virgo.
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I really don't see where you have an issue. She doesn't need to respond to every text... tbh most of us aren't that into back and forth textationships I wouldnt read too much into it,. See how she treats you in person and how she responds to you. We don't kiss back if we are not interested. Stay positive and try not to rely on texts to be the barometer of your relationship. Its real life that counts.
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Posted by lnana04
I think sometimes with earth/earth the overanalyzing can mess up the flow and send weird signals. Just go for it imo....

btw Im not a Virgo.



Lol swear to God... I'm sure I'm looking too deep into the situation, she's probably doing the same (Virgos are overthinkers right?) so it's been weird. I'm not used to this.
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Stop texting her so much and pick up the phone and call her! Ask her how her days is going etc. make plans to see her again.

I'm not one for texting either. It starts to feel like a chore.
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Posted by starwars

it might be a phase too, since shes sick. i get so cranky and whiny when im sick i rather sit alone by myself so no one get yelled at

good luck.





She was in SUCH a bad mood lol but I just kept telling her it would pass and she'd be fine in no time. I think when she was sick was when I've most talked to her ever lol. She did thank me for the stuff I brought her. Even sent me a few pics of her eating the soup and stuff.

Posted by starwars
what do you mean by 'googly' that cracked me up!
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Haha. I don't know how to put it in words. It was dark but it was just this look like...I saved her or something. Like she couldn't believe I went out of my way to bring her stuff to feel better and was happy even though she felt like death. She just stared at me for a few seconds and I was like, uhhh, um, well, I hope you feel better lol. Then I hugged her and left.
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Posted by LadyNeptune
Stop texting her so much and pick up the phone and call her! Ask her how her days is going etc. make plans to see her again.

I'm not one for texting either. It starts to feel like a chore.


Well, at this point I haven't heard from her in 2 days so I don't want to be that desperate guy hounding her when it's obvious she needs space or whatever. She always goes silent for a bit and then will pop in random when I least expect it. Drives me crazy but I think you're right. I may have to try the whole calling thing moving forward (people still talk on the phone?).

I must admit, I've never been one to chase so this whole thing is brand new to me. Usually the girl just falls in my lap and I say ok, and things move forward. This one has been the most energy I've put into wanting to be with someone maybe ever. Usually I would have given up by now.
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Posted by oyes0435
also forget astrology for the moment- it will help you later.
your problem right now is not an astrology problem.
it' a man/woman problem.

smile
goodluck


Lmao! You may have a fair point..but I was in a relationship for 5 years, so my whole courting game is rusty and I feel like things have changed in the dating world since I was last out there. Maybe I'm wrong but it sure seems like technology has changed things.

Either way, I'm lost on all fronts and need guidance, so I'm gonna go read what you suggested lol
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How old are both of you? How did you meet?

If either of you are young, or if you two don't have somewhat of a history (i.e. you met on a dating site as opposed to through mutual friends, work, etc.) she could just be being cautious.
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2 days is nothing in earth sign time.

are you sure you are an earth sign?

this isnt about chasing, it's about moving an established connection along. we are mutable, you are cardinal so get a move on and move things along. she's waiting for you to lead.
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i mean she is reciprocating your actions so i really think you're imagining issues where there are none.
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Posted by Impulsv
Based on topic
Haha read the Scorpio forum n ask that virgo



It's barely the beginning of 2016 and scorpios already need to welcome the year with drama. smh.
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You are the man here, for fucks sake..take the lead! No wonder shes acting awkward, you're supposed to know what the hell is it you want with her and show it to her..

You told her in the beginning you wanted to take it slow..now you're freaking out cause she's not acting like shes all into you, dont you think thats kind of...natural?

If you had shown balls from the beginning, you two would be an item right now.

Throw caution into the wind for once and go for it, women like confident men, not this wishy-washy stuff.
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Posted by Andalusia
How old are both of you? How did you meet?

If either of you are young, or if you two don't have somewhat of a history (i.e. you met on a dating site as opposed to through mutual friends, work, etc.) she could just be being cautious.


I'm 30, she's 28. We used to work together back in the day but it wasn't until recently we reconnected again. We used to be good friends and then we lost touch. I always had a crush on her but never acted on it until now.
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Posted by Damnata
2 days is nothing in earth sign time.

are you sure you are an earth sign?

this isnt about chasing, it's about moving an established connection along. we are mutable, you are cardinal so get a move on and move things along. she's waiting for you to lead.


I'm not even sure what an earth sign is...all I know is I'm a Capricorn and she's a Virgo. I'm not sure what moon orbits my Mars or whatever. I was born in January, but I'm on the cusp of Aquarius almost...January 19 to be exact.
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Posted by CapricornGuy12
Posted by Damnata
2 days is nothing in earth sign time.

are you sure you are an earth sign?

this isnt about chasing, it's about moving an established connection along. we are mutable, you are cardinal so get a move on and move things along. she's waiting for you to lead.


I'm not even sure what an earth sign is...all I know is I'm a Capricorn and she's a Virgo. I'm not sure what moon orbits my Mars or whatever. I was born in January, but I'm on the cusp of Aquarius almost...January 19 to be exact.
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You are both earth signs. It was a joke because you act unnatural. Earth signs take things slowly. Btw you can take things slowly and still make moves and move it along, which is what you should be doing.
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You're 30?!?!?!?!?!

Get a move on, dude!
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Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
You told her in the beginning you wanted to take it slow..now you're freaking out cause she's not acting like shes all into you, dont you think thats kind of...natural?

If you had shown balls from the beginning, you two would be an item right now.


Nah nah nah nah, I never said I wanted to take it slow. I said it's been a while and I wasn't sure what to do but I liked where things were headed and wanted to continue on the path we were on. Trust me, if it was up to me, we'd already be married with kids lol...but her hot and cold games gave me the assumption that she wanted to take things slow and I was just adjusting to her pace. I figured she is scared because she's been burned in the past multiple times and wants to make sure I'm not just playing games with her. Which is why I've gone out of my way to show her I care rather than just tell her.

I know what I want with her...I'm not being wishy washy. At least I don't think I have been.
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I really don't see hot and cold games at all.

I don't understand where you come to the revelation that you're not on the path you're on. You seem to imply you're not on that path anymore, which I don't get.
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Of course you've been wishy-washy. You obviously want her to be your girlfriend so stop acting like you dont know what you want with her.
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Dude, what you refer to as hot and cold games by her is simply how women operate in general, not meaning that they are actually consciously playing any games, women are just generally indirect when it comes to this stuff, thats why you are the man here so you need to be the one giving direction, stop waiting for her reactions before you proceed. Act the way you want her to consider you and you wont need to wait for anything from her, she will have no option but to follow your lead, but it is YOU that has to bring the lead
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Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Of course you've been wishy-washy. You obviously want her to be your girlfriend so stop acting like you dont know what you want with her.


How? I usually make the first contact. I've shown her I care. She's the one who doesn't respond to texts and stuff like that. So I just give her space and wait for her to respond to me on her own timing.

I've always been the "hot older brother" or have had my pick from girls to just be with...this is new territory for me. I've never "conquered" someone. Which is why I'm probably lost in the first place.

Of course I want to buy her flowers and hang out with her more often...every freaking day if possible... but I'm not trying to scare her away either. Isn't that being too pushy? She's been single for a while...I'm sure she has her own routine and life she's been comfortable with. Me even being in the picture is probably throwing it off. So I'm not trying to send her over the edge and have her close up.
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Look, virgo women...we are quite clueless.

She might start to believe this is turning into friendship. Amp up the physical part at least and be proactive in general.

Cardinal men should have an edge here since you're all the club over the head, drag to cave types...which works with us cuz we can only get a clue if that happens.
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Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Act the way you want her to consider you and you wont need to wait for anything from her, she will have no option but to follow your lead, but it is YOU that has to bring the lead


Can you please enlighten me
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Less texts, more dates.

Not "We should hang out".

"So I thought we should go to that concert for our second DATE (third, fourth,etc)"

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Posted by Virgo2016
I'm a Virgo. It's a front on some parts and another is just being set in your ways. Pull back and ignore a little. I hate to be ignored but so good at it. You will know real quick if she is really interested.


Yeah, don't do this. Start as you want to continue.

Without mind games.

Hopefully you didn't get ^^^that type of virgo chick.
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Indeed.

Not to insult Virgo women in any way cause they are lovely creatures smile


But being honest as far as my experiences with them...they are quite easy if you act with confidence.


Libra women..THEY are hard work, but Im loving that ride Winking
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Posted by Virgo2016
I'm a Virgo. It's a front on some parts and another is just being set in your ways. Pull back and ignore a little. I hate to be ignored but so good at it. You will know real quick if she is really interested.



Its not so much the ignoring part (which actually if kept to a minimum, it can bring positive results) but being more goal-oriented as far as communication, like Damnata said, less texting, but more dating.
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Posted by Damnata
Look, virgo women...we are quite clueless.

She might start to believe this is turning into friendship. Amp up the physical part at least and be proactive in general.




I am being proactive....I brought her soup and a get well soon care package the other day when she was sick. I checked in on her every day to make sure how she was feeling. I offered to take her to the doctor.

I'm not sure how I'm not being proactive.

We were supposed to hang out and spend the day out of town together but she got sick so in didn't have the chance to physically be with her. Which is when I was gonna turn up the heat... Now she's gone "cold" for the past few days.

Now here I am arguing on a forum lol
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Posted by CapricornGuy12
Posted by Damnata
Look, virgo women...we are quite clueless.

She might start to believe this is turning into friendship. Amp up the physical part at least and be proactive in general.




I am being proactive....I brought her soup and a get well soon care package the other day when she was sick. I checked in on her every day to make sure how she was feeling. I offered to take her to the doctor.

I'm not sure how I'm not being proactive.

We were supposed to hang out and spend the day out of town together but she got sick so in didn't have the chance to physically be with her. Which is when I was gonna turn up the heat... Now she's gone "cold" for the past few days.

Now here I am arguing on a forum lol
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Yes, but if you want her to see you as a lover instead of just a friend she can call when she needs help, you cant just keep on "helping her", propose more exciting plans.
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Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
You are the man here, for fucks sake..take the lead! No wonder shes acting awkward, you're supposed to know what the hell is it you want with her and show it to her..

You told her in the beginning you wanted to take it slow..now you're freaking out cause she's not acting like shes all into you, dont you think thats kind of...natural?

If you had shown balls from the beginning, you two would be an item right now.

Throw caution into the wind for once and go for it, women like confident men, not this wishy-washy stuff.




This x1000.
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Posted by Damnata
Less texts, more dates.

Not "We should hang out".

"So I thought we should go to that concert for our second DATE (third, fourth,etc)"




Funny you say that because that's what happened. We hung out once (went to dinner). Second time, she invited me to a concert and we went...had a great time (that's when she was all touchy feely and it threw me off). Third time we hungout on consecutive weekends, we were at her house talking about the most things until like 3am, which is when she brought up the whole "how much have you dated lately" convo and I kissed her.

We were supposed to go to another concert for her favorite new artist out of town this week but since she was sick, it never happened. She hasn't even brought it up either. Not once. Which was a little weird.
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Posted by Virgo2016
I'm a Virgo. It's a front on some parts and another is just being set in your ways. Pull back and ignore a little. I hate to be ignored but so good at it. You will know real quick if she is really interested.







No, she will not initiate. We are one of the most feminine of the signs, if you like her you have to persue her, we don't persue.. not ever.
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Posted by Damnata
I really don't see hot and cold games at all.

I don't understand where you come to the revelation that you're not on the path you're on. You seem to imply you're not on that path anymore, which I don't get.


It's not a matter of age, he could be 50 years old it'd be the same, problem here is that most people enjoy flirting in person and follow up from where they left through texts, while Virgos can't be bothered.

It's apparently the only way with Virgos but I know you would agree with me if I say that a dynamic in which you go on a date, you text her the specifics of the next date, you go on another date, you set a new date ecc, can be robotic for most.
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Posted by CapricornGuy12
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Act the way you want her to consider you and you wont need to wait for anything from her, she will have no option but to follow your lead, but it is YOU that has to bring the lead


Can you please enlighten me
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What Im trying to say is; you dont need to wait for "signals" from her to continue your courting, women dont want guys that they can control. You need to follow your own agenda, having faith in your way of doing things and that they eventually will bring you the results you are expecting, enjoy the process, enjoy yourself, make it look like you got your own party going on and youre having a great time at it, so she has no option but to join it.
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Posted by CapricornGuy12
Posted by Damnata
Less texts, more dates.

Not "We should hang out".

"So I thought we should go to that concert for our second DATE (third, fourth,etc)"




Funny you say that because that's what happened. We hung out once (went to dinner). Second time, she invited me to a concert and we went...had a great time (that's when she was all touchy feely and it threw me off). Third time we hungout on consecutive weekends, we were at her house talking about the most things until like 3am, which is when she brought up the whole "how much have you dated lately" convo and I kissed her.

We were supposed to go to another concert for her favorite new artist out of town this week but since she was sick, it never happened. She hasn't even brought it up either. Not once. Which was a little weird.
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Shes waiting for you to bring it up. If you really like her, you gotta man up and be that part or this will devolve into techno-nothing-happens-land and she will probably lose respect for you for not stepping up.
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Posted by Palerio
Posted by Damnata
I really don't see hot and cold games at all.

I don't understand where you come to the revelation that you're not on the path you're on. You seem to imply you're not on that path anymore, which I don't get.


It's not a matter of age, he could be 50 years old it'd be the same, problem here is that most people enjoy flirting in person and follow up from where they left through texts, while Virgos can't be bothered.

It's apparently the only way with Virgos but I know you would agree with me if I say that a dynamic in which you go on a date, you text her the specifics of the next date, you go on another date, you set a new date ecc, can be robotic for most.
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No, if it is texting only, its not real.
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Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Posted by CapricornGuy12
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Act the way you want her to consider you and you wont need to wait for anything from her, she will have no option but to follow your lead, but it is YOU that has to bring the lead


Can you please enlighten me


What Im trying to say is; you dont need to wait for "signals" from her to continue your courting, women dont want guys that they can control. You need to follow your own agenda, having faith in your way of doing things and that they eventually will bring you the results you are expecting, enjoy the process, enjoy yourself, make it look like you got your own party going on and youre having a great time at it, so she has no option but to join it.
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Brilliant advice. Virgo women like to be led by alpha or leader types such as yourself.
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Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
propose more exciting plans.


I got us into a sold out show for her favorite new artist that she wanted to go to and we were gonna go out of town and spend the day together... not sure what's more exciting than that lol. Then she got sick and everything went to hell
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Posted by Palerio
Posted by Damnata
I really don't see hot and cold games at all.

I don't understand where you come to the revelation that you're not on the path you're on. You seem to imply you're not on that path anymore, which I don't get.


It's not a matter of age, he could be 50 years old it'd be the same, problem here is that most people enjoy flirting in person and follow up from where they left through texts, while Virgos can't be bothered.

It's apparently the only way with Virgos but I know you would agree with me if I say that a dynamic in which you go on a date, you text her the specifics of the next date, you go on another date, you set a new date ecc, can be robotic for most.
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Idk, man, depends on the Virgo. I really don't flirt in texts, I flirt in person.

I feel he thinks we're saying he's approaching this wrong. I am just saying he should amp the assertiveness because otherwise, between what they're doing and friends activities...really not a difference.

At least he kissed her.

I don't get the whole texting the specifics of the next date, that sounds like a business meeting to me. In my last relationship, the only text he sent me was prior to meeting me. From then on, he always called and made his interest known in dating me. Told me point blank this isn't going towards friendship, in case I had that theme going in my head.
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Look, Cap, no one is saying you are making huge errors here. We are saying you should just amp it up. I get being sick but you see hot and cold as her not replying for 2 days and in earth sign world, that isn't hot and cold, that is reciprocation.

It's a slow burn with us generally. We're just saying make sure she knows this is dating and not running the risk of a friendzone.

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I mean I really don't get this whole "everything went to hell".

Nothing went to any hell. You're letting insecurity get the best of you on that timeframe with replies.
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Posted by Damnata
Posted by Palerio
Posted by Damnata
I really don't see hot and cold games at all.

I don't understand where you come to the revelation that you're not on the path you're on. You seem to imply you're not on that path anymore, which I don't get.


It's not a matter of age, he could be 50 years old it'd be the same, problem here is that most people enjoy flirting in person and follow up from where they left through texts, while Virgos can't be bothered.

It's apparently the only way with Virgos but I know you would agree with me if I say that a dynamic in which you go on a date, you text her the specifics of the next date, you go on another date, you set a new date ecc, can be robotic for most.


Idk, man, depends on the Virgo. I really don't flirt in texts, I flirt in person.

I feel he thinks we're saying he's approaching this wrong. I am just saying he should amp the assertiveness because otherwise, between what they're doing and friends activities...really not a difference.

At least he kissed her.

I don't get the whole texting the specifics of the next date, that sounds like a business meeting to me. In my last relationship, the only text he sent me was prior to meeting me. From then on, he always called and made his interest known in dating me. Told me point blank this isn't going towards friendship, in case I had that theme going in my head.
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Yes, I think amping up the assertiveness sounds right in this case.
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Yes, stop that bullshit aka texting "what are you up to? " and expecting a reply


Or being upset cause she didnt text you back when you wished her a merry Xmas


When you text her, make sure you know what you are texting her for, if you want a proper conversation, ask her to meet up for coffee, but dont expect entire convos from texting, limit them. Make them worth it
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Posted by Damnata
I mean I really don't get this whole "everything went to hell".

Nothing went to any hell. You're letting insecurity get the best of you on that timeframe with replies.




This is ALWAYS what Ive seen happen in relationships with too much texting, one party goes into paranoia and the almost-relationship ends up in the gutter. Spare yourself the pain and pick up the phone. What you are seeing as hot and cold she may not be especially because she is sick.
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Posted by CocoKat
Shes waiting for you to bring it up. If you really like her, you gotta man up and be that part or this will devolve into techno-nothing-happens-land and she will probably lose respect for you for not stepping up.


So what exactly do I bring up? I don't even care we didn't go to the show...I was more disappointed we didn't get to hang out all day...I just went out of my way to get us in because she wanted to go and I wanted to make her happy.

I figured if I didn't say anything, maybe it wouldn't stress her as much, since she was sick AND Virgos over analize everything right? She probably already feels bad we didn't go because of her...I wasn't trying to make things worse.
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Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Yes, stop that bullshit aka texting "what are you up to? " and expecting a reply


Or being upset cause she didnt text you back when you wished her a merry Xmas


When you text her, make sure you know what you are texting her for, if you want a proper conversation, ask her to meet up for coffee, but dont expect entire convos from texting, limit them. Make them worth it



YES, YES, YES!

those kinds of texts I as a virgo would avoid, I would assume we are friendzoned.
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To be honest, it really doesnt matter what you two do together, even if you wanna take her to walk your dog with her, she will most likely join you IF you sound like you are really into it, so it doesnt really matter what you propose to do together, its HOW you bring it up that matters, be into it.
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I mean in the old ancient days you'd have to call a landline. And her father or mother would pick up and you had to have the guts to say you want to talk to her.

Situations for texting:

1) LDR (but then I would still take Skype phonecalls over this)
2) Other party is busy/in a meeting/ in a place with bad signal and important information needs to be sent asap
3) Saying you're running late. Even then a phonecall would be better.
4) Impromptu hours - late at night, early morning. Again, important info would need to apply
5) A joke or something light or something that makes you think of that person.
6) Other stuff I might forget.


Not in any of those scenarios? Don't text. Never use texting as having a full blown conversation. The pleasure of your company is the pleasure of your company..in person. Likewise for her.
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Posted by CapricornGuy12
Posted by CocoKat
Shes waiting for you to bring it up. If you really like her, you gotta man up and be that part or this will devolve into techno-nothing-happens-land and she will probably lose respect for you for not stepping up.


So what exactly do I bring up? I don't even care we didn't go to the show...I was more disappointed we didn't get to hang out all day...I just went out of my way to get us in because she wanted to go and I wanted to make her happy.

I figured if I didn't say anything, maybe it wouldn't stress her as much, since she was sick AND Virgos over analize everything right? She probably already feels bad we didn't go because of her...I wasn't trying to make things worse.
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. Im sure she does feel bad for being sick, that's how we are wired. You did help to take care of her which is nice, she will remember that if you continue dating her, just don't rub it in her face. The next time you speak to her on the phone or see her in person, let her know you where sad she was sick, you care about her and feel bummed you couldn't live your plans with her, see how she responds then repropose accordingly.

Example... if she expresses extreme remorse ask her out for another fun date.

If she gets defensive, may ask her out for a coffee.
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