First of all, I can't even believe I'm posting on here, but I've been reading tons of posts on here trying to learn about this new Virgo girl I've been dating, so I figured maybe I can get some reassurance from my Virgos to make sure I don't mess this up lol.
I started seeing a Virgo female for the past month and we've have had so much fun... when we're together. It seems like when we're not, there's hardly any communication, but when we finally connect and hang out, everything is awesome. I didn't even know she was into me until she started getting touchy/feely on our second date (our first date we just went to eat and had great conversation) and I was shocked truthfully because she's so beautiful, I never thought she'd be into me.
By the third time we hung out, she brought up the whole "have you dated lately" question and we talked about it a bit and I told her it's been a while and I'm kind of lost at how to date, but I like where we're headed and I've enjoyed the time we've spent together. She said she's been cheated and lied to in past relationships (has been single 3 years) and I confessed I was too in my last one, so I know how she felt, and we agreed to keep things going how they are. I even manned up and kissed her that night and she kissed me back, so I knew she's definitely into me.
But ever since, it's been a game of hot and cold in terms of communication. I did take her some soup when she was sick a week later and I think she appreciated it, but she did mention she's not used to someone doing that for her. I was just worried and wanted her to feel better. But she gave me this look... I don't know how to explain it, sort of googly eye.. We were supposed to go out of town two days later, but she was sick and we couldn't and she hasn't mentioned anything about it. But I offered to take her to the doctor and told her if she needed anything to let me know.
Anyway, it's hard not to get discouraged when she starts pulling away, but she'll pop in every day or two and then never text back or go cold, so I just want to make sure I'm headed in the right direction since I really like this girl. I've tried to be as patient as I can and given her space, but it's been hard because usually when two people like each other, they want to talk all the time and be in contact, but this seems to be the opposite. I've definitely not tried to be too pushy, but just show I care. It just baffles me how she can text me "Merry Xmas Eve" but then I hit her with the "Merry Xmas" the next day and she never texted back lol. Or I'll ask her what she's up to and she'll txt back 24 hours later. Under any other circumstances, I'd say she's not into me, but the time we actually spend together tells a whole different story. It's just frustrating.
What should I do to make her feel comfortable with me and not think I'm playing games or at the least, get her to trust me a bit? Does this phase go away soon? I swear to God I'm going crazy over here
Wow th
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Oct 25, 2010Comments: 2 · Posts: 8822 · Topics: 132
She's been single for a while now. Idk, but she IS an earth sign so she may have fallen into her habits or routines, which mean its probably easy for her to go into her comfort zone. I think you may have to push through if you want her. Stop thinking about what she may be thinking, and just tell yourself that you want to be around and a part of her life. I think sometimes with earth/earth the overanalyzing can mess up the flow and send weird signals. Just go for it imo....
btw Im not a Virgo.
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Dec 17, 2014Comments: 0 · Posts: 1295 · Topics: 10
I really don't see where you have an issue. She doesn't need to respond to every text... tbh most of us aren't that into back and forth textationships I wouldnt read too much into it,. See how she treats you in person and how she responds to you. We don't kiss back if we are not interested. Stay positive and try not to rely on texts to be the barometer of your relationship. Its real life that counts.
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Oct 21, 2015Comments: 11066 · Posts: 36034 · Topics: 110
Stop texting her so much and pick up the phone and call her! Ask her how her days is going etc. make plans to see her again.
I'm not one for texting either. It starts to feel like a chore.
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Dec 17, 2013Comments: 372 · Posts: 6468 · Topics: 165
How old are both of you? How did you meet?
If either of you are young, or if you two don't have somewhat of a history (i.e. you met on a dating site as opposed to through mutual friends, work, etc.) she could just be being cautious.
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Feb 11, 2010Comments: 252 · Posts: 38715 · Topics: 473
2 days is nothing in earth sign time.
are you sure you are an earth sign?
this isnt about chasing, it's about moving an established connection along. we are mutable, you are cardinal so get a move on and move things along. she's waiting for you to lead.
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Feb 11, 2010Comments: 252 · Posts: 38715 · Topics: 473
i mean she is reciprocating your actions so i really think you're imagining issues where there are none.
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Apr 07, 2011Comments: 1685 · Posts: 9901 · Topics: 213
You are the man here, for fucks sake..take the lead! No wonder shes acting awkward, you're supposed to know what the hell is it you want with her and show it to her..
You told her in the beginning you wanted to take it slow..now you're freaking out cause she's not acting like shes all into you, dont you think thats kind of...natural?
If you had shown balls from the beginning, you two would be an item right now.
Throw caution into the wind for once and go for it, women like confident men, not this wishy-washy stuff.
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Feb 11, 2010Comments: 252 · Posts: 38715 · Topics: 473
You're 30?!?!?!?!?!
Get a move on, dude!
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Feb 11, 2010Comments: 252 · Posts: 38715 · Topics: 473
I really don't see hot and cold games at all.
I don't understand where you come to the revelation that you're not on the path you're on. You seem to imply you're not on that path anymore, which I don't get.
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Apr 07, 2011Comments: 1685 · Posts: 9901 · Topics: 213
Of course you've been wishy-washy. You obviously want her to be your girlfriend so stop acting like you dont know what you want with her.
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Apr 07, 2011Comments: 1685 · Posts: 9901 · Topics: 213
Dude, what you refer to as hot and cold games by her is simply how women operate in general, not meaning that they are actually consciously playing any games, women are just generally indirect when it comes to this stuff, thats why you are the man here so you need to be the one giving direction, stop waiting for her reactions before you proceed. Act the way you want her to consider you and you wont need to wait for anything from her, she will have no option but to follow your lead, but it is YOU that has to bring the lead
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Feb 11, 2010Comments: 252 · Posts: 38715 · Topics: 473
Look, virgo women...we are quite clueless.
She might start to believe this is turning into friendship. Amp up the physical part at least and be proactive in general.
Cardinal men should have an edge here since you're all the club over the head, drag to cave types...which works with us cuz we can only get a clue if that happens.
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Feb 11, 2010Comments: 252 · Posts: 38715 · Topics: 473
Less texts, more dates.
Not "We should hang out".
"So I thought we should go to that concert for our second DATE (third, fourth,etc)"
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Feb 11, 2010Comments: 252 · Posts: 38715 · Topics: 473
Look, Cap, no one is saying you are making huge errors here. We are saying you should just amp it up. I get being sick but you see hot and cold as her not replying for 2 days and in earth sign world, that isn't hot and cold, that is reciprocation.
It's a slow burn with us generally. We're just saying make sure she knows this is dating and not running the risk of a friendzone.
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Feb 11, 2010Comments: 252 · Posts: 38715 · Topics: 473
I mean I really don't get this whole "everything went to hell".
Nothing went to any hell. You're letting insecurity get the best of you on that timeframe with replies.
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Apr 07, 2011Comments: 1685 · Posts: 9901 · Topics: 213
Yes, stop that bullshit aka texting "what are you up to? " and expecting a reply
Or being upset cause she didnt text you back when you wished her a merry Xmas
When you text her, make sure you know what you are texting her for, if you want a proper conversation, ask her to meet up for coffee, but dont expect entire convos from texting, limit them. Make them worth it
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Apr 07, 2011Comments: 1685 · Posts: 9901 · Topics: 213
To be honest, it really doesnt matter what you two do together, even if you wanna take her to walk your dog with her, she will most likely join you IF you sound like you are really into it, so it doesnt really matter what you propose to do together, its HOW you bring it up that matters, be into it.
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Feb 11, 2010Comments: 252 · Posts: 38715 · Topics: 473
I mean in the old ancient days you'd have to call a landline. And her father or mother would pick up and you had to have the guts to say you want to talk to her.
Situations for texting:
1) LDR (but then I would still take Skype phonecalls over this)
2) Other party is busy/in a meeting/ in a place with bad signal and important information needs to be sent asap
3) Saying you're running late. Even then a phonecall would be better.
4) Impromptu hours - late at night, early morning. Again, important info would need to apply
5) A joke or something light or something that makes you think of that person.
6) Other stuff I might forget.
Not in any of those scenarios? Don't text. Never use texting as having a full blown conversation. The pleasure of your company is the pleasure of your company..in person. Likewise for her.