Virgo's ...............

This is just an observation about my husband, and any responses are welcome from other Virgo's, if you can relate ....

He sold his trucks, and has been unemployed for over a week .. and it's driving him fucking nuts. The economy is so bad, especially for truckers, that he cannot find a job, and he's going mad because ...

.. he HAS to work, he HAS TO ......

And it's not even about money .. he got a pretty penny for his trucks, and we can sustain for awhile, so there isn't any immediate financial pressure. But, he can't relax, he can't sleep, doesn't want to eat ... he's a disaster, and it's all over not being able to gain employment.


Do you guys have to work? Would it drive you crazy if you found yourself jobless and you couldn't find employment?

He's bored....I can say for myself that without a job I feel....irritable—.....not that I feel like 'what's the point of life?' I mean I just feel as if I need to focus on something PROFITABLE.....money is just a TOOL you need, it's not the center of my universe....but I suppose I am a child since that will probably be the basis of SOMEONE'S retort to my comment....I need money to live though, as do we all, it's just not that high a priority in my life....so long as I'm getting by than I really don't care....I notice when I become a slave to something like a routine and I need to let it go....a job is merely a tool that works for the physical world, but I'm a thinker more so than a 'workaholic'......I value intellectual/personal discovery to financial success, but as I said, I guess that makes me a child...🙂

I can't speak for anyone other than myself.....

"it makes me feel out of control and pointless"


Perhaps, he is feeling this way also ... last night he was restless, kept pacing and mumbling stuff like ... what am I going to do, I don't have anything to do. So, maybe, since he's service oriented in nature, he feels like this is his position .. to provide .. and without it through employment .. he is pointless.

I don't know .. maybe that's what it is. I just hope he finds something soon before he drives himself completely mad.

I don't think it's money, though, because that isn't an issue. And it's me either, though I can be overwhelming, because he isn't avoiding me .. he's actually coming to me because he's upset. So, I know it's not me driving him crazy (yet).

It's because he just HAS to work ... I guess he's a workaholic, he's addicted.

And it's me either


**NOT** me either

all I'm saying is I know how to survive without all my creature comforts.....when you're born with no money you learn to LIVE with no money, and thus it's not something you really are at a loss for, because you know that you can get by and THAT IS WHAT MATTERS....getting by each day.

I've tried the service bit, and I HATE IT!!!!!! I'd rather go into buisness for myself than to knuckle under ANYBODY!!!! NO WAY!!!!!

But as a MAN P, I want a family, AND to know that they're well taken care of beyond their wildest dreams, and for them I'll BUST MY ASS TO NO END....I think it's a man/paternal characteristic....I DEEPLY want kids and a wife and a home, and that's something I'd work for, NOT JUST FOR WORKS SAKE......

Yes, I work .. didn't for many years because I cared for my ailing mother during her last years, she couldn't be left alone because of dementia ... went back to work last fall.


Are you suggesting that psychologically, he has been conditioned to believe that since he is the bread-winner, that this is his duty in life, irrespective of monetary need?


That could be a part of it because I know that when he was a teenager, he had to work to help provide for the family because they were poverty stricken ... he's been working non-stop for 40 years.


Vulnerable ... he feels vulnerable and helpless because he can no longer do what is his duty to do. Thank you for asking me that question. Normally, I look first and foremost at psychological conditioning of a person, which ultimately is the driving force of the road travelled .. however, missed it because I'm upset that he's upset and my emotions got me.

I can see now, contessina .. thank you. And you too, Keva & VE. 🙂

So, now I figure out how to make him feel needed in some way to compensate.

He's capable of other industries, however, it's not easy teaching on old dog, set in his ways, new tricks. He's a truck-driver, that what he does, that's what he knows .. eventhough he is very capable in many areas.

Unfortunately, the economy has hit independent truckers really hard, and the majority of owner/operators have sold their trucks, or, are not running them .... and have soaked up all available trucking positions with bigger shipping companies who can actually afford to pay $ 4.50 a gallon for diesel fuel. Though, he's highly qualified, been driving for decades, has a clean record, hazmat endorsed ... the problem is that the jobs just aren't available.

To run a truck, the cost to keep diesel fuel ... averages around $ 500 bucks a day = 2,500 a week, if only running 5 days. The average independent (O/O) only makes 2,500-3,000 per week ... so, after paying fuel, tires, insurance, licenses .. guess how much is left over?


The cost of fuel has KILLED the owner/operators. Word has it (in this area), that frieght is now going to start running primarily by train. If that happens, and if it's nationwide eventually, then even the bigger companies will go belly-up.


Just now, he's looking online for a warehouse job .. hopefully he finds something. Thanks everybody for the replies .. I'll try not to worry about his pride, but, I can't help it.

For me...

It's totally NOT about the money. I can't stand extended periods of not putting a part of me into work or some personal project. When I was younger, I was very extreme about it. I remember a few crazy weeks putting in at least 120 hours of overtime in a one week's period, only going home to shower and change. I'm not as insane about it as I used to be. I've learned to actually ENJOY taking time to "smell the roses" and I still love going to the beach. 😛

In regards to your thoughts about the "breadwinner" concept. Yep. That's extremely important to me. I'm not married and I'm not sure I ever will be 😛 but that concept is something that goes deep down to my core. For me, its not about being money-centric or materialistic. Its about being able to provide for the people I choose to care about.

The other part of it is I do feel completely at a loss if I dont have that "purpose" coming from work or a project.

Enough about me. P, my insight I'd like to offer is do EVERYTHING in your power not to let him settle into brooding / defeated mode. When I went through a rough patch with work, I sank into that brooding / defeated attitude and it took a long time before I crawled out of that mental cave. In the interim of him finding his next thing, perhaps there is a personal long term project you can get his hands into. I'm not saying come up with some bullshit task to placate him but perhaps something regarding your home, etc. Whatever it takes to keep him motivated and gives him some semblance of purpose.

I'll keep it in mind GB.....I've also learned when I hold on to tightly to things that nothing positive is bound to come of it....that's why I chose to practice an 'easy come easy go' philosophy.

If that don't do it VirgHero....than I don't know what does.....it's about feeling like the man you believe yourself to be.....living up to the standards/ideals you place on yourself right??!! You feel that pressure too, but it spurs you on to do more right—

P-Ang, I'm not virgo but I've noticed this with the Virgos I know. Even when they have a job, if the job's not using all their capabilities, they find a way to add more work somehow. I'm not sure if this is pride related as Virgos are referred to ''worker-bees of the zodiac'' so it's something he sort-of needs as survival.

Good luck

P-Angel maybe he feels worthless, they put way too much pressure on themselves to be perfect. not to mention they worry alot. even tho financially your not in any danger for awhile, he has already fast-forwared in his mind the money issues he will face if he doesnt find work right away. especially with the economy & unemployent on the rise.

Making money is an objective.
Having a job is a focus.
Sustaining your livelihood is a focus.

Virgos need meaning in their lives. We need control and goals.
I too would be thoroughly irritated were I your husband.

You can teach him new tricks, my father just started going back to school a year ago to become a teacher. He use to be a very successful assistant VP for a bank. They fired his entire department and hired people for cheaper to replace them. With a lot of encouragement, he finally went to go for his teaching degree like he always wanted. Its a huge pay cut from what he use to make, but hes finally doing something he wants.

Your husband needs to find a passion to work towards and become independent again. I think he will feel better once he has accomplished this. The economy is pretty shitty for everyone and I doubt it will get better for a while. He should probably find work as soon as possible though because finding a job is rough and you want to find one while you are still in good financial standing, not when you are having issues.

this was posted a while lovely pisces ... P did your husband find work ?

Yes, as Archer states.
We dislike wasting time and feel fulfilled when productive.
AND Appreciated for it!

dont break anything, it might be costly to repair, causing him more stress!!..tell him to go fix something at a relatives,etc..they love helping others, keep him out he might drive u crazy

Yes, Mister ... my husband is now gainfully employed. In fact, he's at work right now ... driving down the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

I think anyone would be edgy in this economy about getting jobs. Im searching for one too and put in a lot of applications, still not one call back. Im getting seriously irritated. Im going to a job fair next week. Just got to keep at it...not much else that can be done.

Now more companies are going bankrupt and closing down....fantastic. More people to compete for work.