virgos and confusion

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TMV
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Posted by christinelovessnickers

...how do you react when you are confused by someone?




The first step is usually saying point-blank that they're confusing me, have lost me, or that I don't get it. If I can, I try to get them to repeat whatever it was that they just did to cause the confusion so that I might be able to follow along the second time. When that isn't applicable it's observe and question time so that they might be dissected and analyzed for better understanding, the relevant information retained for future reference.

Posted by christinelovessnickers

Have you noticed certain types confuse you?
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Types of people? The overly emotional and needlessly reactionary ones for sure. Possibly some Mercury placements cause miscommunication though I've yet to narrow down exactly which or where.
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christinelovessnickers
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Posted by TMV
Posted by christinelovessnickers

...how do you react when you are confused by someone?




The first step is usually saying point-blank that they're confusing me, have lost me, or that I don't get it. If I can, I try to get them to repeat whatever it was that they just did to cause the confusion so that I might be able to follow along the second time. When that isn't applicable it's observe and question time so that they might be dissected and analyzed for better understanding, the relevant information retained for future reference.

Posted by christinelovessnickers

Have you noticed certain types confuse you?




Types of people? The overly emotional and needlessly reactionary ones for sure. Possibly some Mercury placements cause miscommunication though I've yet to narrow down exactly which or where.
click to expand




Will you continue to deal with someone like that or just walk away? Is it confusing since you aren't that way?
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TMV
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Posted by christinelovessnickers

Will you continue to deal with someone like that or just walk away? Is it confusing since you aren't that way?



Posted by Ixion120

Cost-Benefit analysis would usually take place, ultimate answer would be defined by any number of factors.
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+1 to that.

The quick and dirty patience scale though is something like:

Complete strangers up to and including some acquaintances - nope, not dealing with their drama. As soon as it rears it's ugly head I'm gone. Period. The end. Sole and only exceptions to be made are for those who are in serious need of help.

Co-workers and colleagues - if I have to deal with them on a regular basis I'm more or less forced to stay and pretend that I'm following along or look like a rude ass. Nod, smile (or frown empathetically depending on scenario), occasionally ask a vague question, and tune them out while daydreaming about what to make for dinner.

Friends - I generally don't make good friends with those types of people. We don't click well over the long run. When a friend does encounter a situation that causes them to become somewhat over the top though I'm there to slug it out with them because I think of my true friends as being extensions of my family.

Family - Unless we're in a serious situation that really does require my attention and/or help, they get the same treatment as co-workers. That sounds terrible but if anyone else had had to listen to my sister have a mental meltdown over some boy mentioning that her socks didn't match for 16 years they would totally understand. That example is, of course, an exaggeration but you get the idea.

Significant others - I actively attract those types of people. Why, I don't *bleep*ing know. Maybe my subconscious is a masochist. Whatever it is though, you'll find me fumbling along in their wake of melodramatic destruction, scratching my head and trying to figure out what in the hell is going on and what I should do about it.

And yes, it is very confusing since I, personally, am not that way. It's like trying to learn a foreign language on the fly when there's no translation key.
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aressupreme
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Posted by TMV
Posted by christinelovessnickers

Will you continue to deal with someone like that or just walk away? Is it confusing since you aren't that way?



Posted by Ixion120

Cost-Benefit analysis would usually take place, ultimate answer would be defined by any number of factors.



Significant others - I actively attract those types of people. Why, I don't *bleep*ing know. Maybe my subconscious is a masochist. Whatever it is though, you'll find me fumbling along in their wake of melodramatic destruction, scratching my head and trying to figure out what in the hell is going on and what I should do about it.
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Lol, you're so cute. I can only imagine my Virgo does the same in regards to myself.
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"Significant others - I actively attract those types of people. Why, I don't *bleep*ing know. Maybe my subconscious is a masochist. Whatever it is though, you'll find me fumbling along in their wake of melodramatic destruction, scratching my head and trying to figure out what in the hell is going on and what I should do about it."

THIS^^^^^^ A zillion times this. It's like a wrote it. Maybe it's a Virgo thing...
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Posted by christinelovessnickers
TMV and fembot, do you think you attract that type because you "need" that type of person? You know like opposites attract and compliment each other.



Honestly sometimes I think I turn them that way. I definitely don't want or mean to. When I REALLY like someone I want them to be happy so I become helpful. Problem is I think I become too helpful and enable the person not to just help themselves. It's definitely an issue I'm working to remedy but I acknowledge that it's an issue of mine.
As for needing that type of person. I can say that I definitely need to feel needed in my relationship as helping is how I show love. If you need no help I struggle with showing my love. I don't need them to be completely helpless but just have a problem that only I can solve ever so often. It makes me feel good! Example: The guy I'm dealing with called me about researching some projectors. After I did some research I called him totally jazzed (I'm an electronic freak) and sold him on this new product he was eyeing. He said: See I knew only you would be able to talk me into getting this! This made my entire day. He may not know it but I TOTALLY just loved him! lol
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TMV
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Posted by christinelovessnickers
TMV and fembot, do you think you attract that type because you "need" that type of person? You know like opposites attract and compliment each other.



To some extent, probably, yes. I get bored very easily if a relationship completely lacks in tension. I like to be challenged; it stokes the fire. And I like to be needed as well.

But that only goes so far. There is a line that gets drawn between what I feel is an acceptable/tolerable level of over reactivity and melodrama, and what just becomes ridiculous psychopathic or damsel in distress syndrome. Once that line gets crossed my patience wears out and the relationships is no longer worth my time or effort.
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bloodflood
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Posted by Ixion120
Posted by christinelovessnickers
Posted by TMV
Posted by christinelovessnickers

...how do you react when you are confused by someone?




The first step is usually saying point-blank that they're confusing me, have lost me, or that I don't get it. If I can, I try to get them to repeat whatever it was that they just did to cause the confusion so that I might be able to follow along the second time. When that isn't applicable it's observe and question time so that they might be dissected and analyzed for better understanding, the relevant information retained for future reference.

Posted by christinelovessnickers

Have you noticed certain types confuse you?




Types of people? The overly emotional and needlessly reactionary ones for sure. Possibly some Mercury placements cause miscommunication though I've yet to narrow down exactly which or where.



Will you continue to deal with someone like that or just walk away? Is it confusing since you aren't that way?



Cost-Benefit analysis would usually take place, ultimate answer would be defined by any number of factors.

As an additional though...Who you are isn't necessarily who you will be and if you are in the process of maturing I may tag along for the ride If I think you will be great for me.

Rome wasn't built in a day and a great relationship doesn't just come outta nowhere I expect to put in work and lots of it.
click to expand




+1. except in reality, the process isn't so clear cut and logical but it's definitely along the lines of it. for me, there's really no telling exactly when or at what point i go through this process but definitely not at the first instance of confusion. i usually handle it internally at first... as in thoroughly figuring out why i am confused.. and then i'll present my case to the other party. it does seem really methodical in retrospect.. but i think that's probably the only way i can handle the chaos of confusion.