virgos and not letting go?
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by class-act-aries on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 and has 35 replies.
do you virgos ever let go when someone breaks up with you?
my ex virgo is driving me crazy...she keeps on saying that she doesn't want me to think that she cant move on or let go because she has but all her actions and words suggest otherwise
and i have feeling that she is sabotaging my chances of hooking up with new women, i pretty sure she already told two of them to stay away from me
we only been together 6 months which most of it was arguments anyway....
she is driving me up the wall and i can take it much longer
my ex virgo is driving me crazy...she keeps on saying that she doesn't want me to think that she cant move on or let go because she has but all her actions and words suggest otherwise
and i have feeling that she is sabotaging my chances of hooking up with new women, i pretty sure she already told two of them to stay away from me
we only been together 6 months which most of it was arguments anyway....
she is driving me up the wall and i can take it much longer
why do you still entertain her anyway? why are you wasting your time if you guys broke up?? 'coz you're keeping the "friendship"?
.. i don't think so! not possible! real closure is when you don't feel any pain and that you don't even care about the person anymore .. why feel such annoyance or whatsoever about this thing? maybe you can start figuring out what you feel and it'll start from there and ends on there ..
.. i don't think so! not possible! real closure is when you don't feel any pain and that you don't even care about the person anymore .. why feel such annoyance or whatsoever about this thing? maybe you can start figuring out what you feel and it'll start from there and ends on there ..
Yep, it is true - if a Virgo cares about you they will always be there for you. I am best friends with my ex Virgo infact, he has asked me as a contractor to remodel his bathroom then we will move onto the other rooms. We catch up over lunch and dinner - awesome guy he is and btw is also involved in a relationship.
I feel lucky to have him in my life.
I feel lucky to have him in my life.
well, from what im hearing she isnt talking bad about me, but the opposite, its been 3 months since we broke up and we dated only 6! and she keeps talking to her friends how great and nice guy im and how much she loves me and blah blahblah, but when she is talking to me she denies all of it and says she is not a gossiper
just this weekend, it was out mutual friend birthday, so the virgo got little drunk and start sitting next to me and grabbing my hand and putting her hands on me which i didnt appreciate or felt comfortable with it, but didnt know how to push her away because i didnt want to embarassed her in the restaurant and didnt want the waterworks to start, so i would get up and go to the restroom of bar or something,i was sooooo annoyed
so later after the dinner, we all were pretty tipsy from the drinking, she decided to pull me to the side and talk to me,
aggghhhhh!!!!!
here it comes!
she starts talking about the good times we had and how she misses me in her life and blahblha and i could tell if i wasn't as firm as i was she would force her self on me....
so i had to tell her what i ve been telling her for the past3 months that we can only remain friends thats it! that i have no intentions on getting back with her and that her behavior is not helping at all and she just keeps on doing this to her self
she asked me something, i dont remember what it was but it was about us and i told her very strongly and firmly NO ....so she runs of in tears and says she had this differently in here head. and im the asshole here??????....geeezzz wtf!
so next day she txt me and stars to apologize ( another mistake) for her crying that it was the alcohol and keeps going on how she misses our time
i just want to smash the phone on the wall , it was 3 months ago, we didnt go out for that long!!!
so than she calls me and tells me that she doesnt talk to her friends about me, but i talked to her friend and she told me she has to listen to her daily and had to listen to her for an hour the very next day after the party
i dont want to be rude to her but its getting to a point that i might have to
and vgurl...
i dont entertain her and give her any hope signs she is doing tis to her self
before i met her i never seen her before in my life, but now she is around all the time and hangs out with the girls that she is friends with, yes she was friends with the girls before but wouldnt come out just to hang out but now its all the time and the girls even stared t
just this weekend, it was out mutual friend birthday, so the virgo got little drunk and start sitting next to me and grabbing my hand and putting her hands on me which i didnt appreciate or felt comfortable with it, but didnt know how to push her away because i didnt want to embarassed her in the restaurant and didnt want the waterworks to start, so i would get up and go to the restroom of bar or something,i was sooooo annoyed
so later after the dinner, we all were pretty tipsy from the drinking, she decided to pull me to the side and talk to me,
aggghhhhh!!!!!
here it comes!
she starts talking about the good times we had and how she misses me in her life and blahblha and i could tell if i wasn't as firm as i was she would force her self on me....
so i had to tell her what i ve been telling her for the past3 months that we can only remain friends thats it! that i have no intentions on getting back with her and that her behavior is not helping at all and she just keeps on doing this to her self
she asked me something, i dont remember what it was but it was about us and i told her very strongly and firmly NO ....so she runs of in tears and says she had this differently in here head. and im the asshole here??????....geeezzz wtf!
so next day she txt me and stars to apologize ( another mistake) for her crying that it was the alcohol and keeps going on how she misses our time
i just want to smash the phone on the wall , it was 3 months ago, we didnt go out for that long!!!
so than she calls me and tells me that she doesnt talk to her friends about me, but i talked to her friend and she told me she has to listen to her daily and had to listen to her for an hour the very next day after the party
i dont want to be rude to her but its getting to a point that i might have to
and vgurl...
i dont entertain her and give her any hope signs she is doing tis to her self
before i met her i never seen her before in my life, but now she is around all the time and hangs out with the girls that she is friends with, yes she was friends with the girls before but wouldnt come out just to hang out but now its all the time and the girls even stared t
to hang out at the bar where we guys go all the time
Personally - I don't want to be friends when I break up with someone. Might be my Aries moon, but once we're done, we're DONE! If you were on fire I'd throw some water on you(maybe lol) but otherwise, don't care.
If she has major MAJOR feelings for you(as well as a few screws loose) and isn't getting it, you might actually have to yell at her and cuss her out. Let her know that you AREN'T FRIENDS!
Once that door is closed, hopefully she'll get the message and stop humiliating herself.
If she has major MAJOR feelings for you(as well as a few screws loose) and isn't getting it, you might actually have to yell at her and cuss her out. Let her know that you AREN'T FRIENDS!
Once that door is closed, hopefully she'll get the message and stop humiliating herself.
i dont care to be friends too once i break up with the person but i dont mind if she hangs out with our group since we share friends just as long she doesnt cross the boundaries, there was a reason why i broke up with her and her actions prove to me that i did the right thing, i can only imagine how bad it would have been if it lasted longer or if i did give her a second chance
believe me it crossed my mind to just lash out and cuss her out but i know how bad i can be when i do that , so i have enough self restraint in me not to do that. Her ego and self esteem is so bruised and fragile that im worried it could be devastating to her and she could do something stupid,
and as i dont look forward to be hurting anyone, it gives me no pleasure or superiority and i prefer to treat people like i would like to be treated but there is a limit and she is pushing me over the edge slowly but surly....
believe me it crossed my mind to just lash out and cuss her out but i know how bad i can be when i do that , so i have enough self restraint in me not to do that. Her ego and self esteem is so bruised and fragile that im worried it could be devastating to her and she could do something stupid,
and as i dont look forward to be hurting anyone, it gives me no pleasure or superiority and i prefer to treat people like i would like to be treated but there is a limit and she is pushing me over the edge slowly but surly....
Class-act-aries, this reminds me of my break up with a Virgo. The only difference is we dated for about 5 years. It took 2 years for him to finally leave me alone. And, like you experienced, he told people (men) i knew to spread the word that "I was untouchable". That is unbelievable! Anyhow, i think i understand what you are going through. Just be strong, try to avoid her and if you can't, just make sure you continue to stand your ground - be blunt but be kind. She will eventually give up. Right now its her ego that is bruised. Its that rediculous syndrome ... one wants, what they can't have.
You've really ticked me off ... and I'm trying not to be a bitch.
Please remove this topic, caa ....
Please remove this topic, caa ....
Wow P-Angel - you don't miss *anything* do you?!?!
I got a chance to read your recent posts before you hid them, I would unhide them.
I think the people responding to this topic(myself included) didn't know the whole situation. And judging by CA's posts I thought that it was just a matter of unrequited love and he was just too nice and concerned with her emotional well being to put his foot down.
But I don't get how CA is worried about her "fragile emotional state" now, but not at the time of the other actions???
Combining what P-Angel said with what CA said, makes it look like somebody likes the attention but doesn't like the way it could get in the way of other hook ups...
I got a chance to read your recent posts before you hid them, I would unhide them.
I think the people responding to this topic(myself included) didn't know the whole situation. And judging by CA's posts I thought that it was just a matter of unrequited love and he was just too nice and concerned with her emotional well being to put his foot down.
But I don't get how CA is worried about her "fragile emotional state" now, but not at the time of the other actions???
Combining what P-Angel said with what CA said, makes it look like somebody likes the attention but doesn't like the way it could get in the way of other hook ups...
pangel
how did i tick you off? care to tell me?
the reason im concern about her emotional state is because she has a history of depression and being on prozac or whatever, and she is being such a drama queen that im worried that if i handle this the wrong way she might go off the deep end and do something stupid to her self, she has the potential for it,
raised by single mom, verbally abusive mom on top of that so she has no self confidence her previous bf of 3 years left her 2 days before there were to get married, and from what im hearing she is taking our break up as bad as the previous one, so thats why im worried, im not worried that she feels sad or rejected because everyone does in this kind of situations but im worried that if im to firm with her and tell her to get lost it might push her over the edge, thats all, nothing more nothing less
period
how did i tick you off? care to tell me?
the reason im concern about her emotional state is because she has a history of depression and being on prozac or whatever, and she is being such a drama queen that im worried that if i handle this the wrong way she might go off the deep end and do something stupid to her self, she has the potential for it,
raised by single mom, verbally abusive mom on top of that so she has no self confidence her previous bf of 3 years left her 2 days before there were to get married, and from what im hearing she is taking our break up as bad as the previous one, so thats why im worried, im not worried that she feels sad or rejected because everyone does in this kind of situations but im worried that if im to firm with her and tell her to get lost it might push her over the edge, thats all, nothing more nothing less
period
just send me a message than cauze id like to know whats on ur mind plz
Hummmmm ... i wonder if its because you started flirting with your Ex's (Virgo) girlfriend ... a Libra. It would appear from some of your posts, that you were pursuing this Libra. I'm not judging ... i just wonder if that is what P-Angel is upset about.
sherob - P-Angel posted a quote from I believe it was the Gemini message board from CA. He was talking about how he had enjoyed having a Gemini girl sitting in his lap "all wet from dancing in the rain" and how it had "lit a fire" in him and how he wanted more. This was while he was with the Virgo - she was passed out drunk in the next room.
I'm sure P-Angel will correct me if I'm wrong, but she may be upset about the fact that he came on here complaining about the Virgo like she's a harasser and her confusion is unjustified. He also is saying that he's worried about her fragile emotional state now, but when he was with her, he wasn't so concerned with her emotional state that it stopped him from getting extra cozy with one of her friends.....
I'm sure P-Angel will correct me if I'm wrong, but she may be upset about the fact that he came on here complaining about the Virgo like she's a harasser and her confusion is unjustified. He also is saying that he's worried about her fragile emotional state now, but when he was with her, he wasn't so concerned with her emotional state that it stopped him from getting extra cozy with one of her friends.....
class-act-aries 10/4/2007 12:10:57 AM | ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.12E
i think booze makes u more friendly lol that gemini that i like the second time we ever saw eachother was laying in my lap in her wet dress from dancing in the rain, so cute...and she didnt care that the virgo i was dating at the time was passed ou t drunk in the other room, im not with the virgo anymore but for different reasons, so dont no one call me a cheater cauze i did not, lol but it did sparked a flame in me like i didnt have in a long time, too bad she is putting it out by being distant
**************************
This is the post from the Gemini board.
i think booze makes u more friendly lol that gemini that i like the second time we ever saw eachother was laying in my lap in her wet dress from dancing in the rain, so cute...and she didnt care that the virgo i was dating at the time was passed ou t drunk in the other room, im not with the virgo anymore but for different reasons, so dont no one call me a cheater cauze i did not, lol but it did sparked a flame in me like i didnt have in a long time, too bad she is putting it out by being distant
**************************
This is the post from the Gemini board.
WOW! That's really not cool ....
No wonder you were pissed at him here.
No wonder you were pissed at him here.
Why did you bump this thread to the top, Steph?
I can't lie at this point i feel like im being a fool for my Virgo guy, we spoke 1 time last week & he told me how he felt about an argument we had & after we got off the phone i still felt a sense that he was still upset with me or he was stressed out over other things, unfortunately he's not communicating with me so i have to guess, all this time up until now i have sent him letters expressing my feelings, and texting him, also trying to express how i feel, reason being is because it doesnt seem like he want's to be bothered over the phone...everyone i know keeps telling me to just give him some time, that he will be back, he's just going through things, but i can't help but to feel like i need to just move on, i must add that he does have alot going on right now in his personal life, but is it fair to me to hold on to someone who want even talk to me about how he's feeling so i can began to be there or him and show some compassion...im a virgo myself, & when i am annoyed with my own personal life i do shy away from people for a while but if im in a relationship & i really love the person i would never just let them go out of my life that easily....am i being a fool for this guy ??????????????
sagigoat...thanks for your advice
Cap-Girl...ooooops im meant Sad-Girl.....go get help !!!!! you really need a hug, you will see where your ignorance will get you very soon & what's crazy is that you have a Virgo man & you keep trying to find a way to bash all Virgo's...sorry only people who make sense get to us & you dont.....i guess i have to give you a time out in your corner again, this time while your there thinking, try to come up with something that requires some brain usage...p.s. go to church, find god or something that will make you happy...you know the saying "Misery loves Company"...i feel sorry for you
hell, out of PRIDE alone I'd let you go. I don't dwell in the past ESPECIALLY if the past is unfavorable. When you are gone, and I feel that you aren't worth my time I'll erase you from my being: that's emotionally, mentally, and physically. I have no intest at all in anyone I don't have a passion for; hell, depending on how I once felt for you, I may rekindle the flame, but instead of a loving one, It'll be vengeful. I don't even notice people if they don't illicit strong feelings in me.....otherwise I'll move on like I didn't realize them.
"Well I do know that if Virgo's love you or has loved you they will always be your friend..Shoot all the ones I know still hold a torch as well..They love someone forever.."
so true...
so true...
virgo and aries are a bad pairing .they totally clash! im a virgo and always thought that cancers were the ones described as clingy in astrology?not us.
point proven.
So the mind says the body follows...with the right attitude much of anything is possible.
But in the mean time, here are some ground rules that should at least keep YOU from being driven up a wall by your other. (As you can only control you actions and fine-tune them with knowledge: heed them or don't, here they are
Ground rules for ANY relationship:
1. Draw boudaries, and set limits
1a. Trust: be willing to go out on a limb to trust, and remain focused on honesty, and open communication.
2. Provide as much as you're given
3. Understanding, Tenacity, and Love through the rocky parts are necessary to keep the relationship afloat.
4. Learn YOUR limits: Know when it's time to take a break, or call it quits.
But in the mean time, here are some ground rules that should at least keep YOU from being driven up a wall by your other. (As you can only control you actions and fine-tune them with knowledge: heed them or don't, here they are
Ground rules for ANY relationship:
1. Draw boudaries, and set limits
1a. Trust: be willing to go out on a limb to trust, and remain focused on honesty, and open communication.
2. Provide as much as you're given
3. Understanding, Tenacity, and Love through the rocky parts are necessary to keep the relationship afloat.
4. Learn YOUR limits: Know when it's time to take a break, or call it quits.
oh, and #5.......STAY AWAY FROM RPS AT ALL COSTS!!!!!! (Relationship power struggles) they'll INSTANTLY sour ANY relationship....diplomacy is a MUST.
Some relationships I can let go of without a problem, If I had no real emotional attachment to them that is! If there is any emotional attachment though I have the hardest time letting go. I don't understand why.
yep
Some relationships I can let go of without a problem, If I had no real emotional attachment to them that is! If there is any emotional attachment though I have the hardest time letting go. I don't understand why.
Really? I often wonder what constitutes as emotional attachment with a Virgo. I like what makes you attached to someone -- I'm just curious because it seems as if your emotional attachments can be a bit (don't take this the wrong way, okay) ... odd.
I'm not sure how to explain it but it seems as if when you Virgos fall, its for someone a bit ... odd.
Really? I often wonder what constitutes as emotional attachment with a Virgo. I like what makes you attached to someone -- I'm just curious because it seems as if your emotional attachments can be a bit (don't take this the wrong way, okay) ... odd.
I'm not sure how to explain it but it seems as if when you Virgos fall, its for someone a bit ... odd.
when you Virgos fall, its for someone a bit ... odd.
********
They fall for odd, BUT, marry a normal one because of their insecurities of not being able to successfully handle the odd person.
So basically they become "friends" with odd, know all the stuff of that friend, perhaps also get the friend attached to them emotionally.
At the back end, they keep dating normal ladies who can "worship" them and marry those ladies that can treat them as God. I see only my mom was an exception. I have seen all other virgos in my circle married to women that are much inferior than them. It gives them sense of security as they get threatened by the independence of the odd person. In our case, I think my virgo is much better than me in terms of education and finance. For emotional areas, I am much better than him.
********
They fall for odd, BUT, marry a normal one because of their insecurities of not being able to successfully handle the odd person.
So basically they become "friends" with odd, know all the stuff of that friend, perhaps also get the friend attached to them emotionally.
At the back end, they keep dating normal ladies who can "worship" them and marry those ladies that can treat them as God. I see only my mom was an exception. I have seen all other virgos in my circle married to women that are much inferior than them. It gives them sense of security as they get threatened by the independence of the odd person. In our case, I think my virgo is much better than me in terms of education and finance. For emotional areas, I am much better than him.
So basically they become "friends" with odd, know all the stuff of that friend, perhaps also get the friend attached to them emotionally.
At the back end, they keep dating normal ladies who can "worship" them and marry those ladies that can treat them as God. I see only my mom was an exception. I have seen all other virgos in my circle married to women that are much inferior than them. It gives them sense of security as they get threatened by the independence of the odd person. In our case, I think my virgo is much better than me in terms of education and finance. For emotional areas, I am much better than him.
ooooooooo, I see. Actually, the way you put things, something to me makes a great deal of sense right now
At the back end, they keep dating normal ladies who can "worship" them and marry those ladies that can treat them as God. I see only my mom was an exception. I have seen all other virgos in my circle married to women that are much inferior than them. It gives them sense of security as they get threatened by the independence of the odd person. In our case, I think my virgo is much better than me in terms of education and finance. For emotional areas, I am much better than him.
ooooooooo, I see. Actually, the way you put things, something to me makes a great deal of sense right now
These people have terrific fear, way too much lack of confidence, if you tell them one thing negative they can go sleepless for nights. You have to be very careful about how you convey a message to a virgo.
They do not believe they are good enough that some one can say yes to them that fast. It will take looooooong for them to make up their mind and even after that they may change at the last moment!
They do not believe they are good enough that some one can say yes to them that fast. It will take looooooong for them to make up their mind and even after that they may change at the last moment!
"I'll be willing to bet this stems from some virgo who has complete power over you in some way.Who is it? your Boss, your father, or just the unsuspecting boyfriend."
I can go find the threads that will identify this for you .. however, they are many, so I'll just summarize ..
Long before meeting the Virgo S/O .. we find Aunt & Uncle, who are both Virgos, and whom she detests, and has made tesitmony in here that she has always been in contest with them ... and cannot win.
At one time, she made a thread where she went to war with them over seventy-nine cents ...... .79 cents
....... and proclaimed in here with utter and complete dramatic fury .. that war has commenced because she will not lose against them because they are but mere Virgo's.
So, there you have it .. gleen from it what you will.
I can go find the threads that will identify this for you .. however, they are many, so I'll just summarize ..
Long before meeting the Virgo S/O .. we find Aunt & Uncle, who are both Virgos, and whom she detests, and has made tesitmony in here that she has always been in contest with them ... and cannot win.
At one time, she made a thread where she went to war with them over seventy-nine cents ...... .79 cents
....... and proclaimed in here with utter and complete dramatic fury .. that war has commenced because she will not lose against them because they are but mere Virgo's.So, there you have it .. gleen from it what you will.
If I cobbled together all your posts and surmise that the virgos the all knowing Capgirl is talking about must surely include your 'insignificant other' then the description is an insecure, cowardly, craven little scarecrow hiding in a corner waiting for your approval before every move?
****************
I skipped your long post and I am laughing...
Do you know I have MANY VIRGOS In my circle? My dad, my fiance, my friends and my extended friend circle is all virgo.
I have no idea why in the world i always attract virgos , be it home or work or any other place and do not like you virgos that much!!
****************
I skipped your long post and I am laughing...
Do you know I have MANY VIRGOS In my circle? My dad, my fiance, my friends and my extended friend circle is all virgo.
I have no idea why in the world i always attract virgos , be it home or work or any other place and do not like you virgos that much!!
No- they can't let you go..
They may be sleeping with some one else, but, they will have you in their subconcious.
Think about this, don't you feel more powerful being on his physch without physically being with him?
I know it, when I am not with him, he gets into so much pain.. If I get late for a while, he would worry to death...
They may be sleeping with some one else, but, they will have you in their subconcious.
Think about this, don't you feel more powerful being on his physch without physically being with him?
I know it, when I am not with him, he gets into so much pain.. If I get late for a while, he would worry to death...
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