Virgos and Unrequited Love

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by American Virgo on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 and has 18 replies.
Does anyone know whether or not our sign deals with unrequited love differently than other signs? My first reaction is to hate the person who isn't "returning" the love. I know that's not necessarily a healthy thing to do, but that is just my first reaction. My Venus is in Leo. I know that might mess things up, as Virgos generally react differently than Leos. What do you guys think?
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Very... amusing how many Virgos have Venus in Leo...
This has to do with our very core amigo, having the Leo just makes it worse.
We need to feel needed and appreciation is what drives us forward.
All to often we are used and abused and don't even get a thank you for it, that is when I become deeply hurt and agitated.
Otherwise, I just become sad and depressed.
I think it is perfectly normal and healthy, especially as a Virgo with Venus in Leo who is young like we are.
Maybe we grow out of it with the years... I'm sure Shaks will have something to say about that.
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Posted by Cajunspirit

All to often we are used and abused and don't even get a thank you for it, that is when I become deeply hurt and agitated.



Yeah, this happens to me all too often. Because I am intelligent, people will be nice to me temporarily so I can help them with things. Then after I've helped them, they go back to ignoring me or being downright cruel. It is my first instinct to serve, so I have a hard time saying no to people.
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Posted by American Virgo
Posted by Cajunspirit

All to often we are used and abused and don't even get a thank you for it, that is when I become deeply hurt and agitated.



Yeah, this happens to me all too often. Because I am intelligent, people will be nice to me temporarily so I can help them with things. Then after I've helped them, they go back to ignoring me or being downright cruel. It is my first instinct to serve, so I have a hard time saying no to people.
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wow u see dats y u gotta learn how to be selfish ur needs count i'm glad i got my moon in leo i can be selfish wen i want to be not giving a fuck cuz something u gotta voice ur feelings or u will neva be heard.
having venus in libra i use to be a mega people pleaser and not caring about myself so glad i grew outta that crap. owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww lmao
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I will never nor do I want to be selfish. It simply isn't gentlemanly, and it makes you look bad.
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Posted by American Virgo
I will never nor do I want to be selfish. It simply isn't gentlemanly, and it makes you look bad.



says who dont be naive u gotta learn to do for self or people will walk all over you sorry to say its true wake up dis is not a nice world u will be lucky if u meet good people with good intentions.
now dats real talk
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While you are right that most people are selfish and only look out for themselves, that doesn't mean that I have to act that way. I'd like to think that it is things like this that set me apart from most individuals.
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Posted by American Virgo
While you are right that most people are selfish and only look out for themselves, that doesn't mean that I have to act that way. I'd like to think that it is things like this that set me apart from most individuals.


well dats cool just be on point dude ight dats all i'm saying learn wen to give and wen not to it will save u drama and heart ache.
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I have my Moon in Leo too and I don't see any reason to be selfish either.
Though other "all knowing and high horsed" folks on DXP would have you I am selfish for not wanting the people around me to destroy themselves and expect me to accept it.
It all comes down to experience in knowing who to help and how much to help them. Over time, you get better at it.
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Posted by LeGendary ViRGo
Posted by American Virgo
While you are right that most people are selfish and only look out for themselves, that doesn't mean that I have to act that way. I'd like to think that it is things like this that set me apart from most individuals.


well dats cool just be on point dude ight dats all i'm saying learn wen to give and wen not to it will save u drama and heart ache.
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Okay. Thanks for the advice; I appreciate it.
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Very interesting. I just ended a relationship (well.... more accurately I decided not to move it further along, it was in the beginning stages) with a Virgo that has moon and venus in Leo. I have Sun, Moon & Venus in Leo. So this topic definitely sparked my interest especially after seeing a few of the statements from both AV and CS.
He was very much into me and was moving way to fast for me, determined to prove to me that he was the man for me. I am just not at a place where I can offer him what he needs emotionally. I did try, and he tried to give me the space he felt I needed but I felt as if I was under constant pressure to commit to attempting a future with him in an extremely short period of time. I was very honest with my position, however he did continue to push the issue from time to time making me uncomfortable. We spent this weekend together and it become clear to me that I had to end it because I just wasnt that into him.
**We need to feel needed and appreciation is what drives us forward.
I can see how important this was to my Virgo. He was constantly trying to take care of me and being a Leo, I am a very independent person but ALWAYS very appreciative of everything someone does for me. So, I always made sure to thank him when he did something for me, even though I was constantly asking him not to.
**All to often we are used and abused and don't even get a thank you for it, that is when I become deeply hurt and agitated.
During our conversation, I could tell he was very upset so I told him that I was not a person that was comfortable with taking advantage of someone's feelings and that I would simply not abuse him in that way. Therefore I have to be honest and tell you that I am not feeling the same and that I don't feel like we can continue to move forward.
**Otherwise, I just become sad and depressed.
He didn't take it extremely well but I just couldn't force myself to feel something that wasn't. I was worried that he would be mad with me and was unsure what to expect. However, this morning he sent me a very nice text telling me that he will miss my company and that he wished me the best and maybe at another time things would be different. He told me he would always be there for me and anytime I wanted to see him all I had to do was ask. So, I hope he means it and that we can be friends eventually. I think I will let him contact me though. Any ideas on that?
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LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved, thanks for replying. I read what you wrote and it was very interesting. The guy you described sounds very similar to me; that's probably not a good thing, is it?
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Yeah sortilege85 is right.
I find Leo women very disinterested in Virgo men. They are so nice but so distant with us, I usually have no idea what to say or do.
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Posted by Cajunspirit
Yeah sortilege85 is right.
I find Leo women very disinterested in Virgo men. They are so nice but so distant with us, I usually have no idea what to say or do.


I understand this completely and I kinda agree with you especially since I was so distant with him. I really tried to open myself up but I just couldn't. It was like a barrier that I couldn't seem to let down.
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Posted by sortilege85

Sorry, dont take what i have to say wrong, but from what he said to you is pretty much him cluing you to move on and to leave him alone for good. Most virgos who loose what they enjoy fall hard and it begins to become clear to them that they have failed and need to become nice and simply state that line in order to have their partner continue searching. They don't want to turn to hatred because they honor their partner, so they simply say those lines in order to keep things from going bad but if you persist to stay a good friend he'll continue to stay sad because of cherished memories and probably end up hurting you. They are twisted with what they say, but they dont want any harm after they've been felt used even though they weren't or have.


I didnt take it wrong at all. Thanks for replying and sharing your thoughts. I understand that line of thinking. I will also honor him as well. He is a great guy, just not for me. So, I will let him contact me if he wants and let him know I will always be a friend to him. He can do with it what he pleases. I will certainly understand and accept his decision and his actions. He did ask me at what point what he had done wrong and I assured him that he did nothing wrong at all. But I certainly do know how he may feel with the failure thing and all, I have felt that way as well when a relationship fell apart. We were very new in the relationship so hopefully his feelings weren't too deep to hurt too bad. That is partly why I did it so soon, to keep from too much emotion being invested.
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Posted by hikoro
LeoLady
I do think you were not truly ready to start a new relationship with him. Do you still harbor feeling for your Pisces ex?
You did the right thing, I mean, at least, you were honest and you realized this early. Imagine if it had been many months later.
I guess that this is where synastry becomes funny since you and the virgo have very similar placements, trines and sextiles but, this is the reason that (ironically) many strong couples have squares and opposites; these add the friction and challenges that makes things exciting.
In addition to this, sometimes, it is more than synastry. The timing may not have been the best either.



Thanks Hik.... yes, you remembered about Pisces! LOL!! I do still harbour feelings for him and I told Virgo that from the get go. I even told Virgo I wasn't interested in a relationship right now because I needed to be with ME but he insisted on giving him a chance because he thought we were a good match. So, I decided to try, but truth be known I wasn't ready. Being a Leo I don't like to feel pushed into doing anything I dont want to and Virgo did push me quite hard. He was constantly talking of future plans, when I had never promised him anything.... just to live in the moment and try to see where it would go. But, he wanted more than that.... and that's understandable, we just weren't on the same page.
So, yes more than synastry is involved lots of times. Pisces and Leo are so opposite that you would think we wouldn't click, but we did. To this day he still texts me everyday and wants to see me again and when I said I didnt know.... he said "let's just meet and see how we feel about one another. YOu and I are the same, no one else understands us like we do." But, they are just words from a fish that swam away and even though I still have love for him, I have moved on from the relationship just as I have my marriage. But, I am not ready for the next one yet. I just want to be casual and have fun being single and dating.
I know I did the right thing with Virgo. I did not lie to him about ANYTHING even my feelings for my ex. So I do believe honesty is the best policy.

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I, myself, am a Leo/Virgo cusp, born right on the day and lemme tell ya, it ain't easy. It can sometimes feel like a total war of head vs. heart, which makes decision making very conflicting. It can really difficult if you have Leo traits being a Virgo, but then you get both ends of that never-ending spectrum. I generally feel if my love is unrequited, then I give up. I don't think anyone can force love upon someone else, nor can they do it to you. If it isn't happening, try your options, but don't assume they will work. If you really feel that it's unrequited love in the end, then you should just move on from that. It won't happen.
PIP
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I get mad to it only happen to me once i let this libra get under my radar but i was made i count this to my scorpio rising for me being made.. but lucky i have cap moon that keeps me selfish enough to not get used and get over things.. i have virgo venus mars and mercury..
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