Virgos, do you care if a friend doesn't message you on your birthday?

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by csdude55 on Friday, September 8, 2017 and has 13 replies.
For the last couple of years, I've been keeping up with who messages me on my birthday and who doesn't. The ones that don't... I take a real serious look at our friendship, and more often than not I'll cut them right out. Or at the very least, I'll demote you from "friend" to "acquaintance" in a heartbeat.

Some instances are forgivable, but if I see you posting on Facebook (when I know you got the notification) or if you watched my Snapchat Story about it being my birthday and you didn't say anything... oh, yeah, I'm remembering that.

I know it's silly and childish, but still, it hurts my feelings. It takes 10 seconds to say "happy birthday," so if you can't find 10 seconds for me then I have to really question how much you value our relationship.

Today, I found myself making a tough decision... a guy that I consider a good friend's birthday was today, but he didn't wish me a happy birthday a couple of weeks ago. I usually buy him a case of beer and send him a message, but he didn't say anything to me, so... do I send him a message, anyway, and buy him the traditional beer?

So I'm curious if other Virgos are as childish as me on this, or similar issues.
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LMAO this used to bother me, but I no longer give any fucks.
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Happy Birthday Winking

I'm not a Virgo - but I am a Virgo Venus...if I care for you I never forget your birthday. If I don't reach out to you on your birthday it is on purpose. I care about you but you are no longer worth my time. That being said it's kind of passive aggressive, and I'm not sure people actually notice my disapproval through holding back sentiment. smile

I'm a work in progress.

I always found the opposite with the Virgo guy that I was interested in. I would always wish him a happy birthday, because his birthday is two days after my sons so it is hard to forget. He would never wish me a Happy Birthday on my actual birthday unless I specifically said to him "Hey, it's my birthday". He would however wish me a Happy Birthday at random times during the year...I never really understood that.

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The best strategy is confronting them later and feed on their regret.
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My virgo bff doesn't bother. She always reminds me the day before n I still missed it a couple of times. I'm not good with dates n she knows me all too well. I come across a lotta virgos n none of them were ever mad at me coz I didn't wish them. But they usually forgive anything I do ...so?
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Are you seriously 42? God you sound like my father in the pettiness department.

Anyway, no. Too context dependent for this to be a yes.

What I take personally is when someone is not there for me when I actually need help with something. You can forget all my birthdays if you're around when I need you.
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Posted by Teena
My virgo bff doesn't bother. She always reminds me the day before n I still missed it a couple of times. I'm not good with dates n she knows me all too well. I come across a lotta virgos n none of them were ever mad at me coz I didn't wish them. But they usually forgive anything I do ...so?


Just because they don't confront you doesn't mean it doesn't hurt their feelings, though. I never really confront anyone about anything... I smile and keep it all to myself until eventually I vent on an anonymous message board.


Posted by Damnata
Are you seriously 42? God you sound like my father in the pettiness department.
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Ouch. I don't know what's up with the venom, but you do realize that someone else said they're 26 and feel the same way? The majority that have replied feel the same way.
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Posted by csdude55
Ouch. I don't know what's up with the venom, but you do realize that someone else said they're 26 and feel the same way? The majority that have replied feel the same way.
No venom, your Sun/Moon combo should take honesty.

Do you realize that there is a difference between 26 and 42?

I mean my father also is heavily dependent on being liked and he is 54 and checking FB for likes regularly. It's being stunted emotionally and proud of it.

Don't get me wrong, I am not implying you are an awful person or anything but you should give some thought into how normal it is to turn petty because someone missed your birthday and then not get over the immaturity and childishness to the tune of "they'll see".

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I mean my father also is heavily dependent on being liked and he is 54 and checking FB for likes regularly. It's being stunted emotionally and proud of it.


My dad is 70, a Scorpio, and does the same thing. In comparison, I stopped using FB years ago, and only check it on the rare occasion that my mom or dad sends me a message there.

So I don't know if we're talking about the same thing. I don't see how getting your feelings hurt when you're ignored or forgotten on your birthday equates to being "heavily dependent on being liked" and "being stunted emotionally." For me, it's more of an issue of... I've spent time thinking about your feelings, and the fact that you can't find 10 seconds for me makes me feel unloved.

I don't think that's petty. To me, it feels like a clear way to evaluate how much you mean to someone, so you can adjust accordingly.

Regardless, you should take note of how many Virgos agreed, so next time you're friends with a Virgo just remember to tell them Happy Birthday.
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Posted by csdude55

I don't see how getting your feelings hurt when you're ignored or forgotten on your birthday equates to being "heavily dependent on being liked" and "being stunted emotionally." For me, it's more of an issue of... I've spent time thinking about your feelings, and the fact that you can't find 10 seconds for me makes me feel unloved.

I don't think that's petty. To me, it feels like a clear way to evaluate how much you mean to someone, so you can adjust accordingly.
Are your friends aware of the high value you place on this, though? You say it makes you feel unloved, but people have different ways of expressing love, and not everyone is big on words.

I'm on the same train as @Damnata. As long as they are there for me in dire times, I couldn't care less about a birthday greeting. You need to access the entire relationship as a whole. Someone could wish you happy birthday every year and still be a bad friend. I understand the high expectations with the prevalence of social media and whatnot, but if you're going to use that as a measure of friendship, then you're setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment.


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Are your friends aware of the high value you place on this, though? You say it makes you feel unloved, but people have different ways of expressing love, and not everyone is big on words.


Oh, God, no, I would never openly admit how crazy I am!! That's strictly for my own personal rants and raves around the house, and occasionally on anonymous message boards Big Grin

FWIW, I would never cut out a close friend because of an oversight, that's different. But as an example, there's this girl that I've considered a friend for a few years, but several months ago I realized that I was the one doing all the work: I initiate all conversations, I'm the one to always go see her at work, I invited her to lunch several times (and was rejected), I even bought her a Christmas gift last Christmas.

I hadn't heard from her in a few months, so I was hoping for her to say something for my birthday. If she had then I would have probably chalked up the lack of communication to her being busy and all would be well... she's still a bad friend, but I would accept it as maybe a temporary problem and she still cares. But she didn't, even though she saw my Snapchat Story of my birthday cake. So instead of all being well, I've deleted her from Snapchat and now consider her part of my "use to know" list.

So I guess I just consider this to be a way to gauge who should be purged from my list of friends, making way for new friends that make an effort.
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Posted by csdude55
To me, it feels like a clear way to evaluate how much you mean to someone, so you can adjust accordingly.

Regardless, you should take note of how many Virgos agreed, so next time you're friends with a Virgo just remember to tell them Happy Birthday.
Yeah, if you adjust friendships based on someone forgetting to type 2 words to you...then it's good you are purging them out of your life because those people deserve better friends.

I have this Scorpio friend...he forgets year after year because for some reason in his mind I am a Scorpio too and my birthday is the 15th of November lmao. Every year I call him on his birthday on the 1st of November and he's like "Shit, I did it again, didn't I?". This is also someone who got on a flight from Zurich to Bucharest within hours of me telling him I need him to be here because I was dealing with something. But by your flawless logic, he is a shitty friend, right? Lmao.

Then I have people who could care less about me but never forget to send a "Happy birthday"...and these people somehow are real friends? Not there for me when actual effort is required but find it easy to type 13 letters.

As for your last paragraph, can you get more ridiculous than advising me on the Virgos I have in my life aka the ones I know personally and their ways? All the Virgos I know would prioritize me actually being there for them over me forgetting a birthday. I should know, since I'm a Virgo. Then again they are the non petty variety.

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Posted by csdude55
For the last couple of years, I've been keeping up with who messages me on my birthday and who doesn't. The ones that don't... I take a real serious look at our friendship, and more often than not I'll cut them right out. Or at the very least, I'll demote you from "friend" to "acquaintance" in a heartbeat.

Some instances are forgivable, but if I see you posting on Facebook (when I know you got the notification) or if you watched my Snapchat Story about it being my birthday and you didn't say anything... oh, yeah, I'm remembering that.

I know it's silly and childish, but still, it hurts my feelings. It takes 10 seconds to say "happy birthday," so if you can't find 10 seconds for me then I have to really question how much you value our relationship.

Today, I found myself making a tough decision... a guy that I consider a good friend's birthday was today, but he didn't wish me a happy birthday a couple of weeks ago. I usually buy him a case of beer and send him a message, but he didn't say anything to me, so... do I send him a message, anyway, and buy him the traditional beer?

So I'm curious if other Virgos are as childish as me on this, or similar issues.


You Virgos..... always ending friendships for lame, stupid reasons that most mature adults wouldn't, because other adults are grown up. They're not so dependent on being acknowledged, and praised.

Your friend didn't wish you a happy birthday, so you're weren't going to wish him one either? Tit for tat is also childish. I hope you did better than that.



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