Virguy flirting

Confused by this Virgo male??_
We work together and started talking at the end of June. He is a resident physician and I am the residency coordinator where we work. Our conversations started off as light-hearted joking and eventually led to sexting, basically. However, even when I attempt to make light-hearted jokes or lean toward playful flirting rather than sexting, I feel like he is much less responsive. He used to talk to me every day and now it has decreased to maybe once a week. I almost feel like now that he knows I want to be physical with him, he doesn't feel the need to worry about playful banter. I have read, though, that Virgos back off if emotions become too high. Maybe this is what's happening??

Also, it may be important to note that my position is temporary. The department I work in wants me to build a new position in October. Virguy said this to me long before the recent decrease in texting, —I gotta be honest, I like the flirting thing a lot??_ a whole lot. But as long as you work with us, nothing can happen unfortunately. I have a strict no fooling around policy with people that I work with. —? Knowing that I won't be the coordinator for much longer, he added, —I??ll be around for at least four more years. No rush.??

Lastly, when I see him at conference, I feel like he completely blows me off. Generally, the residents will come up to me, say hi, strike up a conversation, and we??ll discuss business, etc. Virguy??_no way. He might come up to me and ask how I'm doing and then just leave. It doesn't sound so bad written down, but it almost feels like he's purposely cutting the conversation short. If I text him though, he responds immediately, but he never initiates the texting.

I don't know as much about astrology, but I am an Aquarius, Virgo rising. I don't know if that helps.

I'm not a virgo, but have had many interactions with them throughout my life as friends, mentor, co worker and even dated one. So I hope my two cents can help you a little bit. I have also worked in the medical field for 20 years. So I have a solid perspective from that angle.

First off, Virgo men are all about work. They are perfectionists. They will do anything and everything to protect their status.

#1 rule: don't mess with Physicians. They have too much power and will do anything to secure that power, even if it means hurting your feelings.

#2 rule: NEVER communicate with a Physician OTHER than what is deemed professional. Why? If any of your co workers see what's going on, you can bet it's been sent all over company email, personal email and texting. All it's doing is setting you up for the big fall.

#3 rule: YOU are NOT a Physician. Therefore you are expendable. Trust me on this. I've been the recipient of sexual harassment. He was the guilty party, but I lost my job. No, I'm not saying he is sexually harassing you. You seemed just as proactive. But when the sh*t hits the fan, he will be the one who will claims it was you doing the instigating because of his reputation. You will be the one removed. This is a pattern which has historically been repeated many, many times in the work place.

#4. Virgo men can have serious magnetism. They know it and they know how to use it on women. So the sexting stuff was all about a game. It fed is ego, and it made you believe he was really attracted to you. But when push came to shove, you saw how he backed away. This leads you back to
rules 1-3

Probably not what you wanted to hear. But if you're going to protect your job, your reputation and your self respect, that's the God's honest truth.

As a follow-up to this post for anyone who might want to know the outcome, this is what has happened in the past year.
I moved out of the department where he worked, but we were still in contact as I am friends with him and his co-residents. I dated several other people and so did he. We found ourselves at a bar one night where he told me that he was —very attracted to me?? but that he didn't want a serious relationship or to be married until after residency. I have never mentioned dating or marriage to him so these are assumptions about me that he has made. If I simply wanted to be married, I would have married my ex.
He continued by saying that he would love to have a physical relationship. I asked him how I was supposed to not feel used if I agreed to that. He said, —If you??re going to feel that way, we definitely shouldn't do anything.?? So we didn't.
For the three months after the night at the bar, he would ask me to come to conference so he could see me (even though I don't work in that department), he would flirt with me in front of his co-residents (even though he didn't want anyone —finding out about us??), and would tell me to meet him at the bars he was at (even though he was —casually?? dating other girls). For the most part, I would only respond to him with short answers and I would never initiate contact.
The other weekend, we went to a friend??s wedding and he brought a date, but he made it a point to show me that he was wearing the tie I bought him for his birthday last year. He also made the comment, —You look amazing. I really wish I wasn't dating somebody right now.??
I haven't heard from him since the wedding, but I would love to hear suggestions from you all about what I should say if I do hear from him.

jfc

daydrmblvr08

This is simple. He told you he wanted a physical relationship. You stated that you would feel used. He said ok, then not's doing anything. He told you he doesn't want a committed relationship until after he finished his residency. So what's more to understand?

1. He wanted you for sex.
2. You didn't want to have just that type of relationship.
3. He said ok, but I'm not interested in you for a commitment relationship at this time.

And you still question reality? Seriously, he's been up front and honest with you what he desires...give the guy props for not playing games. Most men would use you first then tell you they don't want a true relationship.

Men are driven in the work place. Right now, that is his #1 priority. Secondary to that is sex. Third and that's a distance third, is what you want and need.
He has no commitment to you, so honestly, he could care less what you need.

You have feelings for him because he gave you attention. However, he's not going to give you what you need, a real and meaningful relationship that develops into an intimate one.

At this point, what more do you want from him? He's not going to deliver it to you. Move on. Find a guy who is emotionally available and ready to for a relationship that isn't solely about sex and on his time table. If you don't believe you are worth having a true gentleman who will treat you with respect, then you will always be settling for a guy whose just like the one you've been dealing with.

Thanks gemini64. You're completely right. I read a quote once that said, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them." I do commend him for being upfront. I do, however, think it's unfair that everything is on his terms. He gets to ask me to come to conference, but God forbid I ask to have lunch with him. From other posts I've read, this seems to be a consistent trait. He keeps contacting me even though I've stopped responding. I do need to have more self-respect, and I do enjoy his attention. But we clearly cannot give each other what we want. Thanks, everyone, for taking the time to read through.

Posted by gemini64
I'm not a virgo, but have had many interactions with them throughout my life as friends, mentor, co worker and even dated one. So I hope my two cents can help you a little bit. I have also worked in the medical field for 20 years. So I have a solid perspective from that angle.

First off, Virgo men are all about work. They are perfectionists. They will do anything and everything to protect their status.

#1 rule: don't mess with Physicians. They have too much power and will do anything to secure that power, even if it means hurting your feelings.

#2 rule: NEVER communicate with a Physician OTHER than what is deemed professional. Why? If any of your co workers see what's going on, you can bet it's been sent all over company email, personal email and texting. All it's doing is setting you up for the big fall.

#3 rule: YOU are NOT a Physician. Therefore you are expendable. Trust me on this. I've been the recipient of sexual harassment. He was the guilty party, but I lost my job. No, I'm not saying he is sexually harassing you. You seemed just as proactive. But when the sh*t hits the fan, he will be the one who will claims it was you doing the instigating because of his reputation. You will be the one removed. This is a pattern which has historically been repeated many, many times in the work place.

#4. Virgo men can have serious magnetism. They know it and they know how to use it on women. So the sexting stuff was all about a game. It fed is ego, and it made you believe he was really attracted to you. But when push came to shove, you saw how he backed away. This leads you back to
rules 1-3

Probably not what you wanted to hear. But if you're going to protect your job, your reputation and your self respect, that's the God's honest truth.

This response nails it from every angle.

As a Virgo guy, I really like my relationships with Aquarius women even if they're supposedly bad. I learn a lot from them.

But I agree with Gemini64. Even if he does like you he's probably already thinking worse case scenario and looking out for his livelihood rather than his heart.

Hi LeoVeen, his moon sign is Pisces.

I knew Virguy for about a year before he started dating the girl in the aforementioned post. He broke up with her after about 3 months and started dating someone else, but never losing contact with me. The other weekend, I went bowling with him and his co-residents, and he was texting me while he was sitting right next to his new girlfriend. (He doesn't like to refer to these girls as his girlfriends; he always says he is "casually" dating them). His text was rather forward and kind of embarrassing to repeat, but I was tipsy and feeling courageous. I wrote back to him and told him that I was jealous of his girlfriend. He said, "Timing sucks sometimes 😢"

I've heard that Virgos were slow to come around, but at this point we're at the same spot we were in when I first met him in May 2013. We no longer work in the same department, so I really don't understand the hesitation. I've chalked it up to a personality trait or maybe a physical deformity that I have, but I've sort of stopped putting energy into it.

Good luck on your exam, LeoVeen 🙂

If he texted you INFRONT of his date (sneaky virgo) what do you think he's going to do when you finally date him? He can't be trusted he is a bachelor.

You are accepting his emotional strings and he knows it. It's a game to him

I think most Virgos are reluctant to go physical unless both parties are committed.