Welp I had fun Virgo board :)
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by aujra on Sunday, August 29, 2010 and has 16 replies.
Guess it's back to lurking/posting rarely. Thanks for all the advice and help you have all provided but sometimes shit just doesn't work out 
. Here is the story of what happened, I don't know if it is good or bad or if she is telling me to back off and I'm not even sure if I should just be saying screw it and leaving, I guess your opinions will help.
Talked to the Virgal last night, for a time-frame it's been about 1 1/2 months roughly since we started seeing each other with the intent of dating. Last night she basically told me, this year was going to be chaotic, she has 5 courses at college, an internship that might turn into a job, and some other things to take care of. She said she didn't want to make any commitment until next summer. She wants to keep things as they are right now, with us talking a lot and seeing each other when we can. Her intent (or what she said) was that if she got into a commitment with me she would want it to be fully, not just giving me a part of her time but putting herself in the relationship, but well that is a year away. I'm not sure if that is just her nice way of saying it was fun but not interested. It's strange too, she had been opening up emotionally a lot lately and suckering me into doing it too. Well opinions....I'm thinkin she is just being nice.
. Here is the story of what happened, I don't know if it is good or bad or if she is telling me to back off and I'm not even sure if I should just be saying screw it and leaving, I guess your opinions will help.Talked to the Virgal last night, for a time-frame it's been about 1 1/2 months roughly since we started seeing each other with the intent of dating. Last night she basically told me, this year was going to be chaotic, she has 5 courses at college, an internship that might turn into a job, and some other things to take care of. She said she didn't want to make any commitment until next summer. She wants to keep things as they are right now, with us talking a lot and seeing each other when we can. Her intent (or what she said) was that if she got into a commitment with me she would want it to be fully, not just giving me a part of her time but putting herself in the relationship, but well that is a year away. I'm not sure if that is just her nice way of saying it was fun but not interested. It's strange too, she had been opening up emotionally a lot lately and suckering me into doing it too. Well opinions....I'm thinkin she is just being nice.
Awww, don't lurk we enjoy your input, don't let this stop you from participating!
Honest truth, she sounds into you--but sounds MORE into schedules, and planning, and duties, and responsibilities (our negative extremes, and they'll kill those of us that fall prey to them...) If she weren't into you, you'd just never hear from her again. As I said, the birthchart you posted of hers was exactly like mine, minus the mars sign (if I'm not mistaken). If she's anything like me, she's afraid of messing this up with all the responsibilities she's drowning herself in.
If you were a guy pursing me, and I said what she did to you, I'd think that leaving me be (not even answering your phone if/when I call) would show my azz. You have feelings too, as well as responsibilities of your own, and if YOU can make time for me, wtf is my excuse?
I'd say pull back--and I know it's easier said than done, but she sounds self-centered, and pushing yourself on her is not going to help you nor her feel any better.
And please, do NOT answer your phone when she calls. Listen to her messages, and only when you hear the remorse in her voice over pushing you away should you then decide whether or not you want to get back to her.
I'm sorry though, I know this hurts. You'll be okay though--I wish for you a woman who will appreciate the fact that you do things like this (ask about her, try to find out how to make things work). Most guys do not.
Honest truth, she sounds into you--but sounds MORE into schedules, and planning, and duties, and responsibilities (our negative extremes, and they'll kill those of us that fall prey to them...) If she weren't into you, you'd just never hear from her again. As I said, the birthchart you posted of hers was exactly like mine, minus the mars sign (if I'm not mistaken). If she's anything like me, she's afraid of messing this up with all the responsibilities she's drowning herself in.
If you were a guy pursing me, and I said what she did to you, I'd think that leaving me be (not even answering your phone if/when I call) would show my azz. You have feelings too, as well as responsibilities of your own, and if YOU can make time for me, wtf is my excuse?
I'd say pull back--and I know it's easier said than done, but she sounds self-centered, and pushing yourself on her is not going to help you nor her feel any better.
And please, do NOT answer your phone when she calls. Listen to her messages, and only when you hear the remorse in her voice over pushing you away should you then decide whether or not you want to get back to her.
I'm sorry though, I know this hurts. You'll be okay though--I wish for you a woman who will appreciate the fact that you do things like this (ask about her, try to find out how to make things work). Most guys do not.
I see what you are saying I'm not even 100% sure she is pushing me away just being wary and wanting to be committed to me but now isn't the right time for her maybe? I dunno I'm seeing her today bad move?
Bad move.
I say tit for tat. She wants to act like she just doesn't have time for you, mirror her actions.
I say tit for tat. She wants to act like she just doesn't have time for you, mirror her actions.
Yeah she said she was interested in me and on a scale of 1 to 10 10 being totally 100% committed she was around a 2.5-3 which is about where I am I'm not about to let her in at all yet. Think showing up for this date but keeping it very short saying I have other engagements and leaving early is a good idea?
I'm not understanding...date? She said 2.5 from 1-10, what date?
This is her getting attention without having to give it. Pull back, dude--if she's playing you like this, she's not worth the time.
This is her getting attention without having to give it. Pull back, dude--if she's playing you like this, she's not worth the time.
So cancel the date, we already set it up and she seemed excited for it, and she has been opening up a lot, you are pretty much saying call and cancel?
Aujra, I can't tell you what to do. If you feel this is a good move, and will benefit you and her in some way, go for it.
From what you've posted, it sounds like she has you right where she wants you--and knows it.
I'm all for bashing a woman who treats a man like sh.it, but not when that man is allowing it.
From what you've posted, it sounds like she has you right where she wants you--and knows it.
I'm all for bashing a woman who treats a man like sh.it, but not when that man is allowing it.
Agreed I'm just gonna go see her and talk to her and put my foot down. Let her know that I am putting forth an effort and she needs to also. She hasn't even tried to flirt with me in person just over the know every now and then, I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind and if she doesn't like it so be it. You are 100% right I'm sick of being stepped on.
What is done is done, I called her 40 min before our date and canceled it just saying I didn't feel well enough to go, I'm gonna talk to her and let her know what I think, sucks I am sick I feel like hell
Posted by aujra
What is done is done, I called her 40 min before our date and canceled it just saying I didn't feel well enough to go, I'm gonna talk to her and let her know what I think, sucks I am sick I feel like hell
I'm sorry you're not feeling well.
If I could give a suggestion--honesty will set you both free. If you let her know you're a patient man, but no desperate chump, it will make her think about how she's been treating you not to mention give YOU an opportunity to draw your line for your own personal sanity. Ultimatums...they create a "sh.it or get off the pot" air that it seems you BOTH desperately need.
Let her know that you like her, and can be patient if she needs you to be (if you're willing to continue being as patient as you have...) but that you will not sit around waiting for someone who doesn't realize or recognize your feelings for her.
Like I said, I believe she's interested, but I ALSO believe she's enjoying her Mistress/slave roll she has going on, with your balls in her viselike grip. Flip the script on her, and don't give her a "maybe" area in your "yes or no" demand. If she can't open up enough to try, even with her busy schedule, then all I can say is if you stick around, you deserve what you get. Not trying to be mean, but you gotta love yourself more than anyone else on this planet--especially more than a girl who doesn't mind the hurt and frustration you seem to be going through. It's cruel.
Aww damn 
I'm sorry to hear. The advice the posters provided above is in tune with what I'd suggest too.
Also, please don't go-- you're a pretty awesome dude.
I'm sorry to hear. The advice the posters provided above is in tune with what I'd suggest too. Also, please don't go-- you're a pretty awesome dude.
Through this dating I might have lost 1 Virgal, but I have gained the very kinky VirgoVixxen and the always wonderful virgo CLCNY30 and pandorabox and p-angel and not to mention you Neko, the only girl that could keep up with me in bed it seems, so hey 5 for 1 I would say pretty good deal, I'm not complaining. So I did talk to her tonight and got out my dominant side and well it surprised the shit out of her, I've been very tactful with my tone and how I phrase things but I said to hell with it and unleashed on her with a ball of sexy assertiveness. She would have jumped my bones if I were in person with her that is obvious. Basically I'm doing what you all said, I'm gonna stay in touch with her but not break my back over it, there are plenty of people out there just waiting for a lovable Cancer who will break them completely in the bedroom but cuddle the shit out of them outside of it 
. I'm def sticking around all of you are amazing 
. I'm def sticking around all of you are amazing 
now good now go bak to the cancer thread wit all the rest of thr crabs lmao.
Posted by aujra
Through this dating I might have lost 1 Virgal, but I have gained the very kinky Virgo Vixxen the and the always wonderful virgo CLCNY30 and pandorabox and p-angel and not to mention you Neko, the only girl that could keep up with me in bed it seems, so hey 5 for 1 I would say pretty good deal, I'm not complaining. So I did talk to her tonight and got out my dominant side and well it surprised the shit out of her, I've been very tactful with my tone and how I phrase things but I said to hell with it and unleashed on her with a ball of sexy assertiveness. She would have jumped my bones if I were in person with her that is obvious. Basically I'm doing what you all said, I'm gonna stay in touch with her but not break my back over it, there are plenty of people out there just waiting for a lovable Cancer who will break them completely in the bedroom but cuddle the shit out of them outside of it
LOL @ the very kinky VirgoVixxen. Listen, I already told you, I'm a saint!
Posted by aujra
Guess it's back to lurking/posting rarely. Thanks for all the advice and help you have all provided but sometimes shit just doesn't work out
Talked to the Virgal last night, for a time-frame it's been about 1 1/2 months roughly since we started seeing each other with the intent of dating. Last night she basically told me, this year was going to be chaotic, she has 5 courses at college, an internship that might turn into a job, and some other things to take care of. She said she didn't want to make any commitment until next summer. She wants to keep things as they are right now, with us talking a lot and seeing each other when we can. Her intent (or what she said) was that if she got into a commitment with me she would want it to be fully, not just giving me a part of her time but putting herself in the relationship, but well that is a year away. I'm not sure if that is just her nice way of saying it was fun but not interested. It's strange too, she had been opening up emotionally a lot lately and suckering me into doing it too. Well opinions....I'm thinkin she is just being nice.
Where the hell are you going? She didn't write you off for good. Just said that she has a full plate. I also think that she's still scared. Sometimes we do that you know. Will throw ourselves into school/work etc, in order to avoid relationships out of fear. We really like having you here. Stop this shit about you're leaving.
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