what does this mean?

Hi! I really like this Virgo guy for the last couple of years and we are very good friends and coworkers. We are not together but I know he feels the same about me yet he has not really come out to say that he loves me or anything like that. But I know he cares about me and have feelings for me as well. We're very close and intimate but have not had intercourse. I am so confused because he keeps doing this push and pull thing. He doesn't disappear, per se. But he is hot one minute and cold the other. Everytime after we've been close and intimate, he would pull away for awhile and become aloof and detached emotionally. And this repeats itself everytime. I feel hurt and sad everytime, as if I did something wrong, but I know I didn't. On top of that, there is this other female he hangs out with...frankly, it makes me kind of jealous. I know they are good friends and have lunch together whenever possible at work. I don't think they are close and intimate, just good friends. She is happily married with two kids. It seems like the Virgo guy talks a lot to her and feels comfortable with her and prefers to have lunch with her alone. When he is around me with other people around, he acts as if he barely knows me. He doesn't ignore me but he is shy and doesn't say much. When we are alone together, he is a completely different person--a lot sweeter and warmer. I sometimes feel hurt that he rarely ask me to lunch even when I make myself available; he usually just have lunch with the other female. We practical IM each other everynight for the last two years; he doesn't say much on there and lets me talk but when I want to log off, he doesn't want me to go. Sometimes, I think if he doesn't like me or have feelings for me at all, why does he come over to spend time with me alone whenever he can? He loves everything that I give him for his birthday or xmas gift and uses it right away. If he didn't like me, why even bother? I'm just confused. Is he afraid of the emotions and feelings between us? Is that why he rather keep himself occupied with another person that does not stir up these feelings and emotions in him? He is also EXTREMELY observant of everything about me and sometimes criticizes me. If he didn't like me, why bother? I just can't understand how he feels about me. Please help.

Many Virgos are known for not liking to show public displays of affection, but they are totally different behind closed doors. I experienced this with the Virgo I dated. The guy you're interested in probably didn't want rumors to start at work by not inviting you to have lunch with him alone.

It is normal for a virgo male. Try looking at my forum i posted about "virgo no longer interested" it might juat give you the answer you're looking for 😉 you aren't alone

Posted by lucky182
Hi! I really like this Virgo guy for the last couple of years and we are very good friends and coworkers. We are not together but I know he feels the same about me yet he has not really come out to say that he loves me or anything like that. But I know he cares about me and have feelings for me as well. We're very close and intimate but have not had intercourse. I am so confused because he keeps doing this push and pull thing. He doesn't disappear, per se. But he is hot one minute and cold the other. Everytime after we've been close and intimate, he would pull away for awhile and become aloof and detached emotionally. And this repeats itself everytime. I feel hurt and sad everytime, as if I did something wrong, but I know I didn't.

You know, yet you are confused?
If you have not done anything wrong, why do you feel this way?

Perhaps you are not as certain as you claim to be. Insecurities are showing.

On top of that, there is this other female he hangs out with...frankly, it makes me kind of jealous. I know they are good friends and have lunch together whenever possible at work. I don't think they are close and intimate, just good friends. She is happily married with two kids. It seems like the Virgo guy talks a lot to her and feels comfortable with her and prefers to have lunch with her alone.

He obviously knows her longer and has good rapport.
You believe he should forget his friends because it makes you uncomfortable?

When he is around me with other people around, he acts as if he barely knows me. He doesn't ignore me but he is shy and doesn't say much. When we are alone together, he is a completely different person--a lot sweeter and warmer.

That's how I am initially. Until I feel certain you won't betray me.

I sometimes feel hurt that he rarely ask me to lunch even when I make myself available; he usually just have lunch with the other female.

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Are you the centre of his universe?

Posted by lucky182

Is he afraid of the emotions and feelings between us?

Yes.

Is that why he rather keep himself occupied with another person that does not stir up these feelings and emotions in him?

Yes.

He is also EXTREMELY observant of everything about me and sometimes criticizes me.

This is one of the indications I like someone.

If he didn't like me, why bother? I just can't understand how he feels about me. Please help.

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He does and you second guessing him like this, is probably what has him uncertain in the first place.

Virgos oft mirror the treatment we get from people, so long as you are uncertain, so will he.

I'm a capricorn.

Posted by lucky182
I'm a capricorn.

Cappie women don't like guys who talk to a lot of other girls.

It's amazing to see you after lildol made her debut.
I've also been getting attention from a Cappie recently, odd how this all works.

^^ ?? Caj, what is THAT supposed to mean?? :/

Posted by lildol
^^ ?? Caj, what is THAT supposed to mean?? :/

I find it odd. When it rains it pours.

When one sign has issues, a whole bunch of women of the same sign come with problems.

We saw it with Scorpios, Pisces and Aries last year.

This year is Libras, Capricorns and Taurus.

But, I have no real issues with my Virgo... he's a doll. Most of what I've posted are positives...

Posted by Cajunspirit

Posted by lucky182

Is he afraid of the emotions and feelings between us?

Yes.

Is that why he rather keep himself occupied with another person that does not stir up these feelings and emotions in him?

Yes.

He is also EXTREMELY observant of everything about me and sometimes criticizes me.

This is one of the indications I like someone.

If he didn't like me, why bother? I just can't understand how he feels about me. Please help.

He does and you second guessing him like this, is probably what has him uncertain in the first place.

Virgos oft mirror the treatment we get from people, so long as you are uncertain, so will he.

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Cajun, i am in the same boat,kind of the differences here is he never critize me? he only asked for my opinions. as well as i asked him for opinions. but he does observe me too. he tends to stare a lot at me. & i agree with you lucky, i asked myself the samething,if he didn't want me why bother. & i still don't know how he feels. which scares me. i would love your input Cajun on my situation,if you may have at look at my forum? ^^

If he is comfortable with sharing his intimate thoughts with me, does that mean that he is at least opening up and trusting me with his personal and private thoughts? Does a Virgo have to like/love a person or have feelings for a person before he gets to that phrase of sharing?

Btw, thanks for all your responses. It has helped me understand more about this Virgo guy.

Posted by KrystleSade

Cajun, i am in the same boat,kind of the differences here is he never critize me? he only asked for my opinions. as well as i asked him for opinions. but he does observe me too. he tends to stare a lot at me. & i agree with you lucky, i asked myself the samething,if he didn't want me why bother. & i still don't know how he feels. which scares me. i would love your input Cajun on my situation,if you may have at look at my forum? ^^

Never criticises aye?
Is he August born?
Either that or he has observed/knows you are sensitive and makes an effort to walk on egg shells a bit.

The Virgo stare is a good sign. The hot and cold is just him being emotionally immature, like most Virgos are.

It's risky to show your emotions to him and try to help him understand and develop his emotional sensibility. Hence, making solving your problem a difficult one. I learned to understand emotions through intimacy with a Scorpio.

It was unusual and testing. I had always repressed my emotions and to let them out still feels yucky.
So long as you are consistent and allow him his space, things can go well. Keep the faith in him and he will in you.

It's not the he doesn't like you, it's just him trying to maintain control of himself.

Posted by lucky182
If he is comfortable with sharing his intimate thoughts with me, does that mean that he is at least opening up and trusting me with his personal and private thoughts?

Yes.

Does a Virgo have to like/love a person or have feelings for a person before he gets to that phrase of sharing?

Naturally

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
I know what caj is talking about..cause in many ways we think the same way. However I'll add another dimension into that conclusion Caj..by suspecting you of having a selective memory 😛

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I often do...

ok. so just wondering...where is the evidence even that he actually "likes her" likes her? it seems more like he likes her as a person, and he's been friendly, and she got the wrong idea. don't virgos go out of their way to be around somebody they're into? he doesn't seem shy. he seems disinterested.