What should I do about this vanishing virguy?
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by vnessthetaurus on Wednesday, December 26, 2012 and has 13 replies.
So recently I've been getting to know this virguy (born September 13th), and have become interested. I'm a taurus, born April 25th. We've been acquaintances for years and finally began to really get to know each other about two months ago after hanging out at a mutual friend's get together. He was very sweet to me and we had a lot in common, but he has developed a drinking problem because his last three relationships ended in him either getting used or cheated on and resulted in him having trust issues. Because of this I did not throw myself out there, but we both eventually established that we were interested in each other after spending more time together. He also stopped drinking around me after I told him that it bothered me. However, the lack of alcohol makes him very shy, so the first couple of times we hung out were somewhat awkward because he spoke very little, that, and he brought a male friend that he would mostly talk to. Eventually he became comfortable with speaking to me and being alone with me and have had engaging conversations, although we sometimes crash into the occasional awkward silence (I'm a bit shy myself too). He told me that he takes a while to get used to someone, which I had no problem with because I'm a slow poke myself when it comes to relationships. He finally then admitted to wanting to have something with me, but was scared. I told him that it was fine, that there was no rush, and that I understood that he needed time to recover from his previous relationship. So after that discussion, we continued life like normal. We didn't see each other again because we had both been busy, but still kept in contacted often. But all of a sudden all contact stopped. I heard that virgo men tend to disappear from time to time, so I didn't say anything because I assumed he just wanted to be alone. It's been two weeks now, and contacted has not been made on either end. So my question is: should I keep waiting till he pops back up, should I contact him, or should I just assume that he has already moved on?
If neither of you have made an attempt to make contact, then the silence is also your doing. If, however, he doesn't respond when you attempt to bridge that gap, then it's his problem and you can go on your merry way.
By the way, there's nothing awkward about silence unless you let it bother you.
By the way, there's nothing awkward about silence unless you let it bother you.
Posted by vnessthetaurus
He finally then admitted to wanting to have something with me, but was scared. I told him that it was fine, that there was no rush, and that I understood that he needed time to recover from his previous relationship.
No matter how many times I say it, you ladies ignore it and believe it to be untrue .... and then like clockwork, ladies come in to testify exactly what I tell you.
::: shakes head :::
He is NOT going to initiate ... you have to.
When he told you he wanted you ... that was your sign to lead him. You didn't do it, in fact from the way you talk, you don't take charge of anything ... the moment he realized you weren't going to take charge and lead, he left, he's gone.
Because you aren't girlfriend material to him, since you won't step up and be the leader.
Posted by vnessthetaurus
.... I just assume that he has already moved on?
You never had him ....
So P-Angel, you're saying Virgo men want women to lead?
It's just different advice that what you get elsewhere on here. Most say let the man come to you, so it's just different than what they have been told. That may be why they don't seem to be getting it.
It's just different advice that what you get elsewhere on here. Most say let the man come to you, so it's just different than what they have been told. That may be why they don't seem to be getting it.
^ is that Angie Everhart in your avatar?
Posted by incandescentcancer
^ is that Angie Everhart in your avatar?
I think so. Redhead with a gun! That's what I was looking for. (cuz I'm a redhead and I like guns)
Thank you all for the insight. I know I needed to initiate, but chose not to because his latest relationship ended around the same time he and I first began to know each other better(I found this out later). So I didn't want to start anything until I was positive that he had moved on, but he was clearly still bitter about it.
For a while he would always make plans to hang out with me and to get to know his friends. A majority of which I already knew because we had all gone to the same high school and attend the same college. When I spoke to some of his friends, they told me that he often becomes "almost like a woman" when it comes to talking about his past relationships because he either complains about them or gets depressed. He found out that his last girlfriend had been cheating on him with 3 other guys, so I'd be pretty ticked too. They said that he just had picked bad women and needs time to recover. None of them liked his last girlfriend from the start, but put up with her because their friend was happy. They told me that they liked me though because they already knew a little about the kind of person I am.
Sometimes he would tell me about his past relationships and how hurt he was by them. He also would occasionally tell me some personal stuff about himself, and in return I would reveal some personal information too.
One day when we were talking, and we began to flirt a bit. Then he was said "So what are we doing?" I asked him what he meant by that and he told me he meant in terms of a relationship because he had developed an attraction to me and that a mutual friend of ours was pushing him to start something with me, but he said he was scared. So I told him to take his time because he still needed to recover from his last relationship. He said I was right and that he just feels like he's in limbo and was glad I understood.
After that,we both tried to make plans, but got so busy with finals, work, and family and friends coming over for the holidays and lost contact.
I'm going to contact him soon though. Girlfriend or not, I still want to be friends.
For a while he would always make plans to hang out with me and to get to know his friends. A majority of which I already knew because we had all gone to the same high school and attend the same college. When I spoke to some of his friends, they told me that he often becomes "almost like a woman" when it comes to talking about his past relationships because he either complains about them or gets depressed. He found out that his last girlfriend had been cheating on him with 3 other guys, so I'd be pretty ticked too. They said that he just had picked bad women and needs time to recover. None of them liked his last girlfriend from the start, but put up with her because their friend was happy. They told me that they liked me though because they already knew a little about the kind of person I am.
Sometimes he would tell me about his past relationships and how hurt he was by them. He also would occasionally tell me some personal stuff about himself, and in return I would reveal some personal information too.
One day when we were talking, and we began to flirt a bit. Then he was said "So what are we doing?" I asked him what he meant by that and he told me he meant in terms of a relationship because he had developed an attraction to me and that a mutual friend of ours was pushing him to start something with me, but he said he was scared. So I told him to take his time because he still needed to recover from his last relationship. He said I was right and that he just feels like he's in limbo and was glad I understood.
After that,we both tried to make plans, but got so busy with finals, work, and family and friends coming over for the holidays and lost contact.
I'm going to contact him soon though. Girlfriend or not, I still want to be friends.
what p-angel said. I'm a Cap..leading isn't a problem for me. And I don't wait for a man to decide anything that determines where my life goes..I'm an Aries rising, so you are either with me or you aren't.
'That I notice they dont like
Indecisive women
Fake women who talk and act fake and lack brains
Flashy women.......but they like jewelry
Material women but they like well dressed women
Rude women with no respect or manners
Women who act like men
Women who dont take care of themselves
Women who use drugs or drink to excess'
yep..the opposite of what they are.
Indecisive women
Fake women who talk and act fake and lack brains
Flashy women.......but they like jewelry
Material women but they like well dressed women
Rude women with no respect or manners
Women who act like men
Women who dont take care of themselves
Women who use drugs or drink to excess'
yep..the opposite of what they are.
Posted by truecapPosted by incandescentcancer
^ is that Angie Everhart in your avatar?
I think so. Redhead with a gun! That's what I was looking for. (cuz I'm a redhead and I like guns)click to expand
Yes it is! She did a few bad B-grade movies in the 80s and 90s but the chick was tall and could rock leather and guns like very few women can. Great choice....lol!
Signed Up: Nov 29, 2012
Comments: 0 · Posts: 316 · Topics: 16
Comments: 0 · Posts: 316 · Topics: 16
Posted by vnessthetaurus
Thank you all for the insight. I know I needed to initiate, but chose not to because his latest relationship ended around the same time he and I first began to know each other better(I found this out later). So I didn't want to start anything until I was positive that he had moved on, but he was clearly still bitter about it.
For a while he would always make plans to hang out with me and to get to know his friends. A majority of which I already knew because we had all gone to the same high school and attend the same college. When I spoke to some of his friends, they told me that he often becomes "almost like a woman" when it comes to talking about his past relationships because he either complains about them or gets depressed. He found out that his last girlfriend had been cheating on him with 3 other guys, so I'd be pretty ticked too. They said that he just had picked bad women and needs time to recover. None of them liked his last girlfriend from the start, but put up with her because their friend was happy. They told me that they liked me though because they already knew a little about the kind of person I am.
Sometimes he would tell me about his past relationships and how hurt he was by them. He also would occasionally tell me some personal stuff about himself, and in return I would reveal some personal information too.
One day when we were talking, and we began to flirt a bit. Then he was said "So what are we doing?" I asked him what he meant by that and he told me he meant in terms of a relationship because he had developed an attraction to me and that a mutual friend of ours was pushing him to start something with me, but he said he was scared. So I told him to take his time because he still needed to recover from his last relationship. He said I was right and that he just feels like he's in limbo and was glad I understood.
After that,we both tried to make plans, but got so busy with finals, work, and family and friends coming over for the holidays and lost contact.
I'm going to contact him soon though. Girlfriend or not, I still want to be friends.
Dating a Wounded Soul can be draining. Get to know him and keep your options open.
>Dating a Wounded Soul can be draining.>
VERY!
VERY!
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