Posted by virgowithasoul
Scorpio you sure you want to let this thread continue? The last time happened it didn't go down well.
Posted by TMV
"Double-speak" lol.
You could reply to that in any way you want. If you're looking for answers though, knowing the way that I operate, the only thing a person could do to counter such a thing when I don't want to give up information is to deliberately ask exacting and absolute questions that don't leave wiggle room. Facing that, I would either cough it up eventually, or in a much worse scenario, walk away or resort to a bold-faced lie. Should those two come to pass it's a bad deal and the person asking would be wise to guard their trust and possibly accept that they don't want the answers they seek.
One caveat, be sparing with the inquisition. It becomes frustrating and irksome in a hurry.
Posted by TMV
Who is it that gauges a matter's importance?
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
You lot always have the option to say - "No." or to politely/outright "I will not answer that." or any variation of such phrases of refusal (at least it would have been a straightforward response),
Posted by shellshockerPosted by TheLadyScorpio
You lot always have the option to say - "No." or to politely/outright "I will not answer that." or any variation of such phrases of refusal (at least it would have been a straightforward response),
People don't use this because this answer is a defensive stance. If someone said the above to you, wouldn't that heighten your suspicious on why they refuses to answer a question? Who wants a fight like that on there hands, no thanks.
Could you honestly drop the subject and not ask again, just stop thinking about it all together? I doubt it but if you can answer yes to that.. say it, mean it then prove it.
It's a crossroads of trust. You can trust or be prepared to hear lies if a mutable feels interrogated. I know a Gem, Pisces and Virgo who share this trait.
It's usually better to let a person open up to you on their own and volunteer info versus asking information seeking questions and calling it conversation.
click to expand
Posted by shellshocker
the only time I lie is if I feel my privacy is being invaded
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by shellshocker
the only time I lie is if I feel my privacy is being invaded
Is that not more of a Crab trait as versus a Virgoan one?click to expand
Posted by shellshockerPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by shellshocker
the only time I lie is if I feel my privacy is being invaded
Is that not more of a Crab trait as versus a Virgoan one?
probably. But the way I see it is people lie for reasons... so knowing why someone lies is far more beneficial to me than getting them to conform to what I'd do or how I'd like it.
Maybe they don't care about those little things you mentioned, or having to think back about who and where the book was put is mundane and not worth their brain energy.
My Virgo assistant tells white lies, it doesn't bother me so much because they're small and fit a pattern. Made me pay attention more and now I know why she lies and when.click to expand
Posted by shellshockerPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by shellshocker
the only time I lie is if I feel my privacy is being invaded
Is that not more of a Crab trait as versus a Virgoan one?
probably. But the way I see it is people lie for reasons... so knowing why someone lies is far more beneficial to me than getting them to conform to what I'd do or how I'd like it.
Maybe they don't care about those little things you mentioned, or having to think back about who and where the book was put is mundane and not worth their brain energy.
My Virgo assistant tells white lies, it doesn't bother me so much because they're small and fit a pattern. Made me pay attention more and now I know why she lies and when.click to expand
Posted by shellshockerPosted by TheLadyScorpio
You lot always have the option to say - "No." or to politely/outright "I will not answer that." or any variation of such phrases of refusal (at least it would have been a straightforward response),
People don't use this because this answer is a defensive stance. If someone said the above to you, wouldn't that heighten your suspicious on why they refuses to answer a question? Who wants a fight like that on there hands, no thanks.
Could you honestly drop the subject and not ask again, just stop thinking about it all together? I doubt it but if you can answer yes to that.. say it, mean it then prove it.
It's a crossroads of trust. You can trust or be prepared to hear lies if a mutable feels interrogated. I know a Gem, Pisces and Virgo who share this trait.
It's usually better to let a person open up to you on their own and volunteer info versus asking information seeking questions and calling it conversation.
click to expand
Posted by PotHeadVirgo25
I'm not worried about what you don't wanna talk about I'm more interested in what you do wanna talk about which will lead me to what you don't wanna talk about.
I absolutely adore telling people the truth. That way you can feel my pain and my gain. If I say no or deny conversing about whatever it's either because I don't trust you with said info or it's a topic I'm still sore about or I haven't thought about it enough to have a solid opinion. I'll tell you that too. Just so you can get off my nut. Then we usually start debating about why I won't spew my guts which is fine because I have a few valid reasons.
My Virgo Moon & Libra Mercury will enjoy this.
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Frankly, it is simply reciprocating the very questions they ask- would it not be normal for a sane person to expect an answer in return?
Posted by shellshockerPosted by TheLadyScorpio
Frankly, it is simply reciprocating the very questions they ask- would it not be normal for a sane person to expect an answer in return?
idk, I don't know too many Virgos or understand reciprocity with communication style s. Either you have similar or you don't.
The Virgo's I do know may have asked me a lot of questions in the beginning, but I was evasive with answers or just didn't say anything at all. So... they stopped asking those questions. I don't have much fixed in me tho, I'm sure that makes a difference.click to expand
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
You lot always have the option to say - "No." or to politely/outright "I will not answer that." or any variation of such phrases of refusal (at least it would have been a straightforward response), but taking people for a spin is plain rude at times.
Posted by TMVPosted by TheLadyScorpio
You lot always have the option to say - "No." or to politely/outright "I will not answer that." or any variation of such phrases of refusal (at least it would have been a straightforward response), but taking people for a spin is plain rude at times.
In all fairness could this not be said for others as well? People always have the option of not dealing with someone who uses these tactics, of walking away when they're fed up. I usually also find it rude when someone presses for answers that clearly aren't going to be given.
But I'll be frank. I give people the walk-about because I'm an ass, and when I feel threatened in some way it feels appropriate to use asshole-ish defense mechanisms. I would be a liar if I tried to claim that I haven't lead people on absurd goose chases over nothing before just for the sake of it.
*shrugs*
Call it a personality flaw.click to expand
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Hmm, I heard that 'ass' commentary before. Allow me to ask this question then- Would you ever pull that move on the ones you are close/care about? If you do, and over time they still let the behaviour go but one day they lay it on the table...would you stop, acknowledge or change?
Posted by TMVPosted by TheLadyScorpio
Hmm, I heard that 'ass' commentary before. Allow me to ask this question then- Would you ever pull that move on the ones you are close/care about? If you do, and over time they still let the behaviour go but one day they lay it on the table...would you stop, acknowledge or change?
I've been trying to come up with a way to describe the concrete reasoning behind *my own* double-speak without turning out a novel. It's a complex rationale with shades of psychology and emotional insecurities among other things.
Would I do this to the those I am *closest* to? No, because those few individuals are ones with whom I share an absolute trust. For better or worse they always get the full canon blast.
But concerning anyone less intimate, would I ever change? Doubtful. The 6th isn't the house of repetition for no reason.
Now to all those reading--please bear in mind that I do not speak for all Virgos as I could not possibly know them all or their individual thought and action patterns. I can only know myself and sometimes that too is questionable.click to expand
Posted by TMV
One thing is simple.
Information is power. The power. Knowledge is stronger than any dollar or weapon will ever be. It's the one thing in this world that everyone wants but can never take unless it is given.
When information is withheld, even the silly meaningless tidbits, it can be a childish and passive-aggressive way of giving someone the finger with a great big raspberry.
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Beside it being childish and passive-aggressive: Would you go so far as to say it is a way of bringing others into a power-struggle game or is it out of a sense of insecurity and a fear of vulnerability?
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
TMV, that very same power would keep people out,...
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
...and when it becomes a habit as a defence mechanism it may slowly trickle into the more meaningful connections you have with people you care about.click to expand
Posted by Damnata
I keep trying to reply to this topic but my mind gets fuzzy. I know deep down why, I have to explain it in details though and I still can't paint a good enough picture in my mind.
*will get back to this topic*
Posted by Ixion120
Although a part of me does wonder what is the context of your relationship with the person...it matters context is everything.
Posted by Ixion120
I don't usually embellish, and I don't beat around the bush. So this Virgo from this lot can't really help ya too much.
Posted by bridgelover
I don't see a Virgo trying to change, after all they have analyzed & analyzed & are of the opinion they are "right". Even acknowledging is asking a lot of them. In my experience, they would STOP the conversation & disappear. I find this rigid behavior perplexing in light of the mutable sign.
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
They are not rigid per se, more like them having a set of values, be it correct or incorrect at large to the world and society, if it is "right" in their eyes, then they will go forward with all actions according to that framework whether you like it or not.
Posted by CluelessCancer
This is a very good thread and hits at the core of my issues with Virgos. As a straightforward honest person its very frustrating dealing with the duplicity that is Virgo.
Posted by CluelessCancerPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by CluelessCancer
This is a very good thread and hits at the core of my issues with Virgos. As a straightforward honest person its very frustrating dealing with the duplicity that is Virgo.
Glad to hear this thread is of some use to you CC, or at least food for thought. However, your situation with that Virgent of yours, is rid with issues which no longer stems itself from sheer duplicity. In fact, he simply might not be interested in you or keeps you on a string. Let it go.
I think that too. But then he asks me if i need a ride all the time. When i'm sick how im feeling, he checks up on me throughout the day.
even if he is faking it, stringing me along, he seems to care about me more than 99% of the people in my life it seems.click to expand
Posted by CluelessCancer
I've already second guessed every intention he has...what else am i supposed to do, drive myself crazy.
i don't know why he does the things he does...he's not getting any sex out of me and if he doesn't like me he has a strange way of showing it.
i mean i wouldn't think a person who dislikes you would text/call you good morning.good night.everyday or check up on you or try to hang out with you etc etc