kindleberry
@kindleberry
13 Years
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Why telling a Virgo your feelings closes them up..
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Posted by kindleberry
and makes them run away, yet when do something that is caring is ok.
It's like they want you to be there, act like bf and gf but when it comes into question they hide. Why?
Why me saying I care about you is bad?
If down the road you become really serious (as in if he chooses to spend the rest of his life with you), they open up with ease, and aren't as skiddish. My suggestion to you is don't pour it on too heavy, I mean it's nice once in a while to say nice things, but what really matters to Virgo is your actions toward them. Show him. Also, acknowledge his actions as well. They like to have that subtle reassurance that you do appreciate them. For some virgos it takes a long time to analyze their partner and they like to observe. So be patient, be steady/consistent and be subtle.
don't tell a Virgo...show
I haven't heard from him in 3 days. 😢
you're not in a relationship with him. I don't get in touch with a friend every day.
BTW, 3 days is only like 3 hours in my world.
so if someone tells me 'where have u been missing all week', I'll go blank...
ha?feels like a day to me & you're complaining?
BTW, 3 days is only like 3 hours in my world.
so if someone tells me 'where have u been missing all week', I'll go blank...
ha?feels like a day to me & you're complaining?
"ha?feels like a day to me & you're complaining?"
mm that ^^^ wasn't said to u. but to the person who says that to me =D
mm that ^^^ wasn't said to u. but to the person who says that to me =D
Damn... is that what happens? I tell and show... and I guess telling was too much. My ex became very cold toward me, when I tried to help her thru her problems. She was complaining that no one cared, so I started telling her that I cared. I was telling her to reassure her and I showed her to reassure her.
So after one makes this mistake with virgos... How can you get them back?
So after one makes this mistake with virgos... How can you get them back?
Posted by SoInLOVE
Damn... is that what happens? I tell and show... and I guess telling was too much. My ex became very cold toward me, when I tried to help her thru her problems. She was complaining that no one cared, so I started telling her that I cared. I was telling her to reassure her and I showed her to reassure her.
So after one makes this mistake with virgos... How can you get them back?
Sometimes if a virgo has too much stressful stuff going on, revealing your feelings for us just becomes more than we can handle at the time. Your declaration feels more like pressure/more responsibility rather than reassurance and we then feel the need to get away from you too.
If we're really into you we'll come back around once we de-stress. Nothing you can do to actually make us come back and if you try it will just push us further away. IMO of course.
Posted by neuroticvirgoPosted by SoInLOVE
Damn... is that what happens? I tell and show... and I guess telling was too much. My ex became very cold toward me, when I tried to help her thru her problems. She was complaining that no one cared, so I started telling her that I cared. I was telling her to reassure her and I showed her to reassure her.
So after one makes this mistake with virgos... How can you get them back?
Sometimes if a virgo has too much stressful stuff going on, revealing your feelings for us just becomes more than we can handle at the time. Your declaration feels more like pressure/more responsibility rather than reassurance and we then feel the need to get away from you too.
If we're really into you we'll come back around once we de-stress. Nothing you can do to actually make us come back and if you try it will just push us further away. IMO of course.click to expand
That's exactly what he told me. Me questioning our relationship put pressure on him. He's going through separation and work stuff and is under a lot of stress and emotional turmoil. He was cold and distant. We had a conversation where he called me out on things I did wrong. So when I started to close off he then got the impression that I was saying we were done so he started back track a little but holding all that I did wrong in against me. I thought about what he said. I threw it back at him that he's done the same and has no right to throw stuff against me I've heard him say and do himself. In the end I said, how much he means to me but that I would no longer contact him and left it up to him. He sent me a text a few minutes later, when I didnt respond for hours he started calling me.
Posted by kindleberryPosted by neuroticvirgoPosted by SoInLOVE
Damn... is that what happens? I tell and show... and I guess telling was too much. My ex became very cold toward me, when I tried to help her thru her problems. She was complaining that no one cared, so I started telling her that I cared. I was telling her to reassure her and I showed her to reassure her.
So after one makes this mistake with virgos... How can you get them back?
Sometimes if a virgo has too much stressful stuff going on, revealing your feelings for us just becomes more than we can handle at the time. Your declaration feels more like pressure/more responsibility rather than reassurance and we then feel the need to get away from you too.
If we're really into you we'll come back around once we de-stress. Nothing you can do to actually make us come back and if you try it will just push us further away. IMO of course.
That's exactly what he told me. Me questioning our relationship put pressure on him. He's going through separation and work stuff and is under a lot of stress and emotional turmoil. He was cold and distant. We had a conversation where he called me out on things I did wrong. So when I started to close off he then got the impression that I was saying we were done so he started back track a little but holding all that I did wrong in against me. I thought about what he said. I threw it back at him that he's done the same and has no right to throw stuff against me I've heard him say and do himself. In the end I said, how much he means to me but that I would no longer contact him and left it up to him. He sent me a text a few minutes later, when I didnt respond for hours he started calling me.click to expand
He's not so much being cold & distant (at least it's not meant to be directed at you) he's just going inward in an attempt to weather the storm of all of the issues happening in his life right now. In his mind he can't understand why you would add more drama to his already dramatic life by making the situation about your relationship.
His issue is not necessarily with you and he wants you to just "get" that. So when you pull away he will give a bit of chase because he doesn't want to lose you because of this, he just wants y
...he just wants y... y? Did your message get cut off?
Sorry about that:
His issue is not necessarily with you and he wants you to just "get" that. So when you pull away he will give a bit of chase because he doesn't want to lose you because of this, he just wants you to leave him alone not make it about you and let him deal with his issues so he can get back to the business of being normal. If i were you I'd try something like: "I know your going through it right now so I'm going to give you some space to handle your issues. But i'm not going anywhere and I am here for you if/when you need me." (In your own words of course) then give him some space without the aura of resentment or punishment. Good luck!
His issue is not necessarily with you and he wants you to just "get" that. So when you pull away he will give a bit of chase because he doesn't want to lose you because of this, he just wants you to leave him alone not make it about you and let him deal with his issues so he can get back to the business of being normal. If i were you I'd try something like: "I know your going through it right now so I'm going to give you some space to handle your issues. But i'm not going anywhere and I am here for you if/when you need me." (In your own words of course) then give him some space without the aura of resentment or punishment. Good luck!
Thank you 🙂
Posted by neuroticvirgoPosted by kindleberry
Thank you 🙂
No problem. I hope it helpsclick to expand
Im sorry... Now I have another question... You are very insightful and Im just wondering: She said when we broke up that she felt like she needed to be alone but we could still communicate. She tries to talk to me but I can't just be her friend. Its too hard. What can I do? What should I say? I want her back but Im not trying to pressure her. I dont want to say something wrong.
Oh yeah... what does IMO mean?
BTW Good post Kindleberry
Posted by SoInLOVEPosted by neuroticvirgoPosted by kindleberry
Thank you 🙂
No problem. I hope it helps
Im sorry... Now I have another question... You are very insightful and Im just wondering: She said when we broke up that she felt like she needed to be alone but we could still communicate. She tries to talk to me but I can't just be her friend. Its too hard. What can I do? What should I say? I want her back but Im not trying to pressure her. I dont want to say something wrong.
Oh yeah... what does IMO mean?
BTW Good post Kindleberryclick to expand
Well I'm not an advocate of trying to be friends directly after a break up especially when I know I can't handle it emotionally. Plus I'm not in the business of allowing someone to have their cake and eat it to. (I hate that expression; why wouldn't I want to eat MY cake) Besides if you're always around and available to her then she does not get the chance to miss having you in her life and to decide whether or not she made a mistake in breaking things off. It's just too close right now.
And I really don't like that feeling of walking on egg shells trying to say the perfect thing in hopes of getting someone back. If you're going to be friends it should be natural, you both should be able to be your authentic selves sans the emotional pain and egg shells. I would let her know that while you do want her in your life, right now having her as just a friend is just not something you can handle emotionally. Let her know you're going to take some time to heal from this break up and hopefully one day you 2 can come together and really be friends; but if you tried to do it now it would not be genuine and she deserves better than that. Then take some time away from her to actually heal from this. If it's meant to be in your time apart she will miss having you in her life and realize letting you go was a mistake. Then she will do what she needs to do to try to get you back in her life.
For me if I break up with someone and they stick around playing the friend role then I am still benefiting from the pleasure of their company (when I want it) so I never get the chance to miss having them around and maybe realize I made a mistake. I will slowly wean myself off that perso
person until all of my feelings are gone and we really become only friends or nothing at all. I imagine those are not the results you want right now.
oh IMO = in my opinion :-)
oh IMO = in my opinion :-)
WOW... Thank you... I appreciate it.
Posted by msmarilynmansonPosted by SoInLOVEPosted by neuroticvirgoPosted by kindleberry
Thank you 🙂
No problem. I hope it helps
Im sorry... Now I have another question... You are very insightful and Im just wondering: She said when we broke up that she felt like she needed to be alone but we could still communicate. She tries to talk to me but I can't just be her friend. Its too hard. What can I do? What should I say? I want her back but Im not trying to pressure her. I dont want to say something wrong.
Oh yeah... what does IMO mean?
BTW Good post Kindleberry
ok clueless cancerclick to expand
What?
REALLY @MMM you think that's cluelesscancer? No friggin way! Why would she hide herself? She's been wide open about her grief all this time. Well either way I hope you find a resolution and some peace
Posted by msmarilynmanson
ok if im wrong im wrong and in no way did i intend it in a negative way. i really like clueless cancer and i like you. im not looking for hostility on this site. this should be a love fest as far as im concerned. im not p angel.
Oh please no hostility here! I'm more fascinated with the idea. Let us continue with the lovefest circa Woodstock! la la la...
Posted by msmarilynmanson
thats what im saying. everyone in this world is trying to make it thru this insane game of life lol better to do it with love than anger.
I couldn't agree more! la la laaaa la laaaaa
Wow... LOL Im a Libra and I have No clue who the hell you are talking about...
I don't get why people care if someone is using multiple usernames. Like who cares.
LOL Its cool... not a problem dude
efore in the past. When there was just too much on my plate & stressful.. I didn't respond to calls/message.I ignored, I disappeared. I had to focus on myself first, then when all was good, I reappeared.
Not that I don't like u, but I can't give the attention u deserve when I have important things to settle first. However, if in this period of pulling away, the guy I like still contacts me not getting the hint that I need space & will contact him back when I'm ready... I'll pull away longer cos I'll feel like he's a burden.It can take weeks/months. The sooner he stops, the faster I'll come back.
Posted by neuroticvirgoPosted by SoInLOVE
?
Sometimes if a virgo has too much stressful stuff going on, revealing your feelings for us just becomes more than we can handle at the time. Your declaration feels more like pressure/more responsibility rather than reassurance and we then feel the need to get away from you too.
If we're really into you we'll come back around once we de-stress. Nothing you can do to actually make us come back and if you try it will just push us further away. IMO of course.click to expand
I still can't figure out why it is so difficult for me to say 'hey I need space,I'll come back to u' .
How can I be so rude to someone when I like him. hmm
How can I be so rude to someone when I like him. hmm
Posted by applemint_fv
I still can't figure out why it is so difficult for me to say 'hey I need space,I'll come back to u' .
How can I be so rude to someone when I like him. hmm
Because in our mind we think our need for space is obvious and can't understand why our SO would be offended by us wanting to fix our life and relieve our own stress. Perception is definitely reality to a virgo and we perceive that everyone already knows what's going on inside our heads so we shouldn't have to say it out loud...
Posted by msmarilynmansonPosted by applemint_fv
I still can't figure out why it is so difficult for me to say 'hey I need space,I'll come back to u' .
How can I be so rude to someone when I like him. hmm
so during that time if they contact u and say look i dont deserve to be treated this way, im done and im changing my number, do you just let them go even if you like them?click to expand
Probably yes; I was in a relationship with a guy that tried that and yes I told him to do what he felt he needed to do to be happy. At the time he did that I felt he was being inconsiderate trying to hit me with an ultimatum when my life was in shambles. People need to understand (or I wish they would understand) that a Virgo cannot see past "life in shambles" so if you say anything to us during that time you just sound like a part of the problem. If you leave, then you're just one less problem. NOW once everything goes back to normal THEN i will realize that I wrong or made a mistake if you meant enough to me to still want you. Some people push so hard they kill the relationship and even when I get my act together I still don't want to be bothered with that "dramatic" person. It's not right but it's how we are. IMO
Posted by msmarilynmanson
the virgo ignoring thing. not answering calls or texts. its just so hard for others to deal with. it really hurts when they disappear.
Yea I'm beginning to realize this and trying to stop doing it in my own life, but it's hard to change something that seems to be hard-coded into your DNA. I'm ignoring right now and I honestly don't know how to stop myself. Because in my mind (right now) to reach out (in my particular situation) would make me feel like a fool and Virgos hate feeling like fools...
Kindle why are you with a guy that's going through a separation? Couldn't you find a guy that has his shit together.
He's emotionally unavailable which is understandable so instead of pressuring the guy go find something else to do instead of becoming another problem for him.
Do you really think he'll take you on after seeing your head spin about the relationship status? If you wanted a real relationship why didn't you require that of him from the very beginning?
Do you seriously think he's going to open up after pressuring the crap out of him? No, he won't take you on, you're becoming another problem for him, adding drama to his life.
If you feel insecure then leave the guy, don't expect him to hold your grown woman hand because he won't. If you're in the relationship because you require reassurance then he's not the guy for you. Be an adult, if the relationship you currently have with him isn't moving forward, growing and progressing then move on. Maybe he'll come back to you once the pressure is off and try again.
He's emotionally unavailable which is understandable so instead of pressuring the guy go find something else to do instead of becoming another problem for him.
Do you really think he'll take you on after seeing your head spin about the relationship status? If you wanted a real relationship why didn't you require that of him from the very beginning?
Do you seriously think he's going to open up after pressuring the crap out of him? No, he won't take you on, you're becoming another problem for him, adding drama to his life.
If you feel insecure then leave the guy, don't expect him to hold your grown woman hand because he won't. If you're in the relationship because you require reassurance then he's not the guy for you. Be an adult, if the relationship you currently have with him isn't moving forward, growing and progressing then move on. Maybe he'll come back to you once the pressure is off and try again.
Okay what if after all that "pushing" (You know, telling them that you care and you want then to know someone loves and supports them), A person comes back and says "I get it now. I didnt mean to make you feel more pressure than what you were dealing with," Can you see yourself forgiving them and possibly getting back into a relationship, Because a lot of times, A person truly does care and just wants you to see that you are not alone in the world.
Have you ever really felt like you made a mistake, and regretted losing a truly good person?
Have you ever put someone in the friend category and then changed your mind?
Also, Have you ever thought about the fact that a person is telling you that they are being treated wrongfully (like youre being cold), do you eventually ever understand what the person was saying?
(damn I have so many questions... smh I wish I could actually talk to some of you ppl).
Have you ever really felt like you made a mistake, and regretted losing a truly good person?
Have you ever put someone in the friend category and then changed your mind?
Also, Have you ever thought about the fact that a person is telling you that they are being treated wrongfully (like youre being cold), do you eventually ever understand what the person was saying?
(damn I have so many questions... smh I wish I could actually talk to some of you ppl).
@SoInLOVE it would really depend on where I'm at mentally if I would be receptive to that. If I'm knee deep in the shyt and not able to see the world clearly, I might take your words as some form of manipulation (a Jedi mind trick if you will) to soften me up just to get me back; which would just irritate me. I'm of the mind that if you "get it" just GET IT. No need to broadcast to me that you get it; give me the space and in time (if it's meant to be) I will find my way back to you. But you telling me that is not "getting it" it's another ploy to try to get me back by saying you understand. When in fact you don't understand, if you did you would leave me alone. There is only 1 way to get me to believe you REALLY understand. I say: Shyt is real right now I need space. You say: Ok baby I understand; I'm going to give you some space but I'm here for you if/when you need me. Then GIVE ME SOME SPACE. Go do something to occupy your time while I hyper focus on my issues. The person who can realize and accept this is the perfect person for a Virgo. Again it may not be fair but it's honest.
"Have you ever really felt like you made a mistake, and regretted losing a truly good person? Have you ever put someone in the friend category and then changed your mind?"
I've done both of these things; BUT in my case I've also discovered that my initial response to the person was probably the best. But that's just my experience. Virgos are not above giving someone we feel worthy a shot at dating if we haven't completely written you off.
"Also, Have you ever thought about the fact that a person is telling you that they are being treated wrongfully (like youre being cold), do you eventually ever understand what the person was saying?"
Only within the last few months have I begun to realize how my actions affect the people I love and even with that I cannot change some things over night. Yes I'm trying to compromise with my loved ones but pressure to be and act a certain way will be met with a WALL. I don't mean to be hurtful but when things get real for me I can find it hard to see past the issue at hand. I hope this helps!
"Have you ever really felt like you made a mistake, and regretted losing a truly good person? Have you ever put someone in the friend category and then changed your mind?"
I've done both of these things; BUT in my case I've also discovered that my initial response to the person was probably the best. But that's just my experience. Virgos are not above giving someone we feel worthy a shot at dating if we haven't completely written you off.
"Also, Have you ever thought about the fact that a person is telling you that they are being treated wrongfully (like youre being cold), do you eventually ever understand what the person was saying?"
Only within the last few months have I begun to realize how my actions affect the people I love and even with that I cannot change some things over night. Yes I'm trying to compromise with my loved ones but pressure to be and act a certain way will be met with a WALL. I don't mean to be hurtful but when things get real for me I can find it hard to see past the issue at hand. I hope this helps!
Posted by neuroticvirgoPosted by kindleberry
Thank you 🙂
No problem. I hope it helpsclick to expand
He's hot and cold every other day. I feel like giving up on him. Yesterday we talked, today not even a hello after coming online.
It does help... Thank you. OMG You are such a cool person for taking the time to answer all these questions.
@tiki
I sent him a text telling him I see him as a bf. that's it. How is that pressure? If that's not what he wanted, he should have thought about the impression he was giving me by saying it's just me and him, that we don't date or sleep with other people, that he deletes every guy I text with from my phone. Gd, yea sorry for - assuming - this was anything more than -ex.
I sent him a text telling him I see him as a bf. that's it. How is that pressure? If that's not what he wanted, he should have thought about the impression he was giving me by saying it's just me and him, that we don't date or sleep with other people, that he deletes every guy I text with from my phone. Gd, yea sorry for - assuming - this was anything more than -ex.
Posted by kindleberryPosted by neuroticvirgoPosted by kindleberry
Thank you 🙂
No problem. I hope it helps
He's hot and cold every other day. I feel like giving up on him. Yesterday we talked, today not even a hello after coming online.click to expand
I have to agree with tiki33 in that your guy is emotionally unavailable right now. Imagine all the stress that comes along with breaking up a family. Now imagine it were you going through a separation and some guy wanted to keep talking about that status of your relationship with him. Now simply isn't the time and unfortunately it's not about you and him right now. You can either understand this and give him the space he needs to get his life in order or you can move on to someone who is ready and available to be with you in the way you want. This guy has a LOT going on so being with him is going to take a LOT of patience. Ask yourself do you have the patience to walk the walk with him and also accept that even if you do stick it out it may not work given what he's going through right this moment. You're taking a huge chance with your heart here as this guy is not getting a divorce; he's going through a separation so there is still a chance he could go back to his wife. This idea alone is probably keeping him from being 100% with you until he decides what he really wants to do with his current situation.
Also as a Virgo we're not going to feel the need to talk to you every day even if we are online even when everything is good. We like/need space! You have to ask yourself if a Virgo is the right kind of guy to fulfill your needs. Right now I would suggest SPACE and plenty of it. Not just for him but for you too. Give yourself a moment to find your center so you're not revolving around him. Good luck!
Posted by SoInLOVE
It does help... Thank you. OMG You are such a cool person for taking the time to answer all these questions.
Believe me when I say it's not a problem. I'm dealing with my own issues so posting here with some hopefully helpful advice lets me feel useful and gives me something else to obsess about. lol
@neurotic
I get all you're saying but he's been separating for 2 yrs and they don't really do anything about it. He was the one msg'ing me every day. I bring this up and suddenly it's all upside down.
I get all you're saying but he's been separating for 2 yrs and they don't really do anything about it. He was the one msg'ing me every day. I bring this up and suddenly it's all upside down.
Posted by neuroticvirgoPosted by SoInLOVE
It does help... Thank you. OMG You are such a cool person for taking the time to answer all these questions.
Believe me when I say it's not a problem. I'm dealing with my own issues so posting here with some hopefully helpful advice lets me feel useful and gives me something else to obsess about. lolclick to expand
I have to agree. 🙂 And I do understand what you mean about space - the change just came on so out of the blue because I brought it up yet he's been teasing me about it all the time. He just doesn't want me to think of him and I as such.
@kindleberry he's likely very conflicted hence the hot/cold. There really is nothing you can do about this; unfortunately he has to do it for himself and decide what he wants for himself. And pressure or addressing of the situation will only push him further away. Again it's not fair but it's honest.
IMO if you pay attention to your guy; you will notice the moments when he opens himself up emotionally to you. Then and ONLY then would it be wise to address anything with him in regards to your relationship. And even then it must be done gently with kid gloves and sans the pressure. Trouble is these moments are scarce and come without warning so you need to be alert and ready without being needy. But in your case I still think he needs some space before he even considers opening up again...Good luck!
IMO if you pay attention to your guy; you will notice the moments when he opens himself up emotionally to you. Then and ONLY then would it be wise to address anything with him in regards to your relationship. And even then it must be done gently with kid gloves and sans the pressure. Trouble is these moments are scarce and come without warning so you need to be alert and ready without being needy. But in your case I still think he needs some space before he even considers opening up again...Good luck!
Posted by kindleberryPosted by neuroticvirgoPosted by SoInLOVE
It does help... Thank you. OMG You are such a cool person for taking the time to answer all these questions.
Believe me when I say it's not a problem. I'm dealing with my own issues so posting here with some hopefully helpful advice lets me feel useful and gives me something else to obsess about. lol
I have to agree. 🙂 And I do understand what you mean about space - the change just came on so out of the blue because I brought it up yet he's been teasing me about it all the time. He just doesn't want me to think of him and I as such.click to expand
Oh my goodness... the change came on all of a sudden for you TOO? Thats crazy. Thats exactly how it was for me! And she was so cold every other day, and it was like that for the next 2 and a half months. We have a LDR and when I went to visit her, she was cold toward me then, as well... I never did anything but try to show her love and compassion. She made me feel like she didnt care about me at all and when I told her how I felt she would get angry. I just wanted her to understand how I was feeling. I wasnt angry, yelling or disrespectful, Just trying to communicate for the sake of the relationship.
We only started talking because she approached me. It was all WONDERFUL for the first 2 and a half months then it all changed out of nowhere... I didnt know how to take it. We had already told each other that we loved each other, and I thought that expressing that I loved and cared for her when she seemed stressed would put her at ease.
Posted by neuroticvirgoPosted by msmarilynmanson
the virgo ignoring thing. not answering calls or texts. its just so hard for others to deal with. it really hurts when they disappear.
Yea I'm beginning to realize this and trying to stop doing it in my own life, but it's hard to change something that seems to be hard-coded into your DNA. I'm ignoring right now and I honestly don't know how to stop myself. Because in my mind (right now) to reach out (in my particular situation) would make me feel like a fool and Virgos hate feeling like fools...click to expand
+ 1
Okay now here is this question... When virgos are in a bad mood and your SO gives you the space... He/She doesn't call or anything, but when the virgo decides to call and the virgo is still being cold, distant or even mean... How does one react to that? What should one say, because it would seem that the virgo still wants to talk to you, right?
Posted by SoInLOVE
Okay now here is this question... When virgos are in a bad mood and your SO gives you the space... He/She doesn't call or anything, but when the virgo decides to call and the virgo is still being cold, distant or even mean... How does one react to that? What should one say, because it would seem that the virgo still wants to talk to you, right?
HA! THis just happened to me. Talked to me but was rude at the same time. Why talk if you're going to be rude.
Posted by SoInLOVE
Okay now here is this question... When virgos are in a bad mood and your SO gives you the space... He/She doesn't call or anything, but when the virgo decides to call and the virgo is still being cold, distant or even mean... How does one react to that? What should one say, because it would seem that the virgo still wants to talk to you, right?
For me my SO is a Taurus which means he acts a lot like I do when he's stressed out. If he calls or text me with an attitude or being cold/distant I will end the call with him. Not in an angry way; I just tell him ok I see you're in a mood so I'm gonna let you go. I hope to talk to you soon when you're feeling better. (He does the same thing to me) This is a totally acceptable response as neither of us deserve to be emotionally abused by the other. If you're in a mood get your ish together and call me back. He was being short with me the other day via text so I told him to get some rest and I hope to talk to him soon. He immediately called me in a much calmer mood and we talked for hours.
You seem so afraid to say the wrong thing or ruffle his/her feathers. Don't be! What kind of relationship is that!? That kind of pressure would send me over the edge. He/she needs to understand that you have better things to do than be emotionally abused by him/her. Secretly he/she will at the very least respect you for having boundaries; I know I respect anyone who can stand up to my shyt. Sitting there taking it trying to find the perfect thing to say will not accomplish that. Don't be so afraid of losing him that you cease to be yourself. I try to accept that my personality might cause my SO to leave but I refuse to stop being me because of that. If he goes...he goes!
Posted by msmarilynmansonPosted by neuroticvirgoPosted by kindleberryPosted by neuroticvirgoPosted by kindleberry
Thank you 🙂
No problem. I hope it helps
He's hot and cold every other day. I feel like giving up on him. Yesterday we talked, today not even a hello after coming online.
I have to agree with tiki33 in that your guy is emotionally unavailable right now. Imagine all the stress that comes along with breaking up a family. Now imagine it were you going through a separation and some guy wanted to keep talking about that status of your relationship with him. Now simply isn't the time and unfortunately it's not about you and him right now. You can either understand this and give him the space he needs to get his life in order or you can move on to someone who is ready and available to be with you in the way you want. This guy has a LOT going on so being with him is going to take a LOT of patience. Ask yourself do you have the patience to walk the walk with him and also accept that even if you do stick it out it may not work given what he's going through right this moment. You're taking a huge chance with your heart here as this guy is not getting a divorce; he's going through a separation so there is still a chance he could go back to his wife. This idea alone is probably keeping him from being 100% with you until he decides what he really wants to do with his current situation.
Also as a Virgo we're not going to feel the need to talk to you every day even if we are online even when everything is good. We like/need space! You have to ask yourself if a Virgo is the right kind of guy to fulfill your needs. Right now I would suggest SPACE and plenty of it. Not just for him but for you too. Give yourself a moment to find your center so you're not revolving around him. Good luck!click to expand
my sept 25 virgo friend communicates all day and i love it. the sept 3 one is always mia. you have to pry a text out of him. im sick it. he will text 3 times if he wants something. a year of this. i adore him but im ready to close the door for good. im sooooo close.
My bad @MMM
Sept 25th...that's technically a Libra hence all the communication. Your Sept 3rd Virgo is much more Virgo than your friend. Plus the Sept 1-12 Virgos are known to be the most serious of the the litter. (I'm the 9th and I can attest to that). But if you're sick of him and his mia crap cut your losses and find yourself a better guy! It's his loss.
Sept 25th...that's technically a Libra hence all the communication. Your Sept 3rd Virgo is much more Virgo than your friend. Plus the Sept 1-12 Virgos are known to be the most serious of the the litter. (I'm the 9th and I can attest to that). But if you're sick of him and his mia crap cut your losses and find yourself a better guy! It's his loss.
Posted by neuroticvirgo
My bad @MMM
Sept 25th...that's technically a Libra hence all the communication. Your Sept 3rd Virgo is much more Virgo than your friend. Plus the Sept 1-12 Virgos are known to be the most serious of the the litter. (I'm the 9th and I can attest to that). But if you're sick of him and his mia crap cut your losses and find yourself a better guy! It's his loss.
What about August Virgos? 🙂
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It's like they want you to be there, act like bf and gf but when it comes into question they hide. Why?
Why me saying I care about you is bad?