Can someone verify my understanding of this situation with a Taurus man?

Hi!

I'm 28F Scorpio, met this 30M Taurus on a dating app.

Background: Matched on Bumble (the app where women initiate first within 24h of matching) on a day I was traveling, so I didn't realized we matched. Later on, I got a notification saying he had extended the match by 48h, which I took as a sign of genuine interest. So I initiated, we chatted and he asked to set up a drinks date when he got back into town. I agreed and said no worries that he wont be back for 14 days, I am down to meet him when he is. This past Friday, he messaged me saying he is coming back earlier than expected and sent me his number so that we could text. We texted and set up a spontaneous date the same night he got back to grab some drinks. Very low-key and low-pressure. Altho I noticed his texting habits are super bad, but I realize not everyone is good on text.

However, he showed up and we ended up with insane chemistry on both ends, and sparks flew almost immediately. He is visibly nervous and tells me so, I am also nervous but reassure him. We talk, and he initiates holding hands, then go back to his place to talk more. We end up sleeping together (again, quite amazing) after which we talk more about personal lives/hopes/dreams/long-term goals professionally and relationship-wise. He states multiple times that he does not do this at all with first dates, assuring me that this is special. I also assure him because I am somewhat shy and reserved myself, and definitely do not do this either but this feels right and good (it did).

Things that stood out: He asked me if we are now dating, I asked if that's what he wanted to happen between us, and he said yes. I said I want that as well and we agreed to not see other people. He also told me "I would marry you in a heartbeat" and that he loves being in this situation with me, it makes him feel calm and comforted. He gave me assurances that he likes me a lot, and that he has no reason to see anyone else. He also said he won't change his mind about me when he woke up the next day. I reciprocated these feelings in my own words and we are on the same page. I know the pace is kind of crazy, but I generally tend to be over-cautious and not go with the flow, however, since it felt super natural and genuine with this dude, I went with it.

Since then: The next day I checked up on him and asked how he is doing. The conversation was short, and he didn't respond to me saying that I had a lovely time and want to see him again. He responded today by saying sorry for not responding earlier, he was super tired after all that travel. He said he had a great time as well and does want to see me again, however, he will be quite busy this next week. I responded to that by saying I totally understand (he had shared with me that he got a new job promotion and will be taking on more responsibility), and he is working on a second degree. I am in a doctorate program myself so I get it. I wished him good luck for the next week and that was the end of the conversation.

My understanding: I believe him to be genuine in what he said to me, I do not think he was lying. Additionally, he did not strike me as a player/playboy reciting rehearsed lines but seemed like he meant everything. He looked really happy and content to even simply hold my hand and talk about his life. However, I do think that maybe he is pulling back to gain some grounding in his own emotions. I do also believe he wants to see me again but is actually busy. Personally, I do want to see him again and I am willing to wait a week to reach back out and see how he is doing.

Am I correct in my understanding? Or am I too generous and charitable and am getting played?

When I see him again, should I bring up some questions I have for clarity? I just want to be on the same page about our dating boundaries and make sure he hasn't changed his mind about things. I know that Scorpios have the "intense af" stereotype but I like to think I spent a lot of time in therapy working on being more easy-going. So not being able to hang out for a week is fine, I think that is pretty reasonable between two working professionals.

However, I do know that I would like some communication, if he doesn't text me at all would that be an indicator of a change of heart? And should I bring that up to him when we hang out?

Thanks for reading

Posted by avalon1511
Hi!


I'm 28F Scorpio, met this 30M Taurus on a dating app.


Background: Matched on Bumble (the app where women initiate first within 24h of matching) on a day I was traveling, so I didn't realized we matched. Later on, I got a notification saying he had extended the match by 48h, which I took as a sign of genuine interest. So I initiated, we chatted and he asked to set up a drinks date when he got back into town. I agreed and said no worries that he wont be back for 14 days, I am down to meet him when he is. This past Friday, he messaged me saying he is coming back earlier than expected and sent me his number so that we could text. We texted and set up a spontaneous date the same night he got back to grab some drinks. Very low-key and low-pressure. Altho I noticed his texting habits are super bad, but I realize not everyone is good on text.


However, he showed up and we ended up with insane chemistry on both ends, and sparks flew almost immediately. He is visibly nervous and tells me so, I am also nervous but reassure him. We talk, and he initiates holding hands, then go back to his place to talk more. We end up sleeping together (again, quite amazing) after which we talk more about personal lives/hopes/dreams/long-term goals professionally and relationship-wise. He states multiple times that he does not do this at all with first dates, assuring me that this is special. I also assure him because I am somewhat shy and reserved myself, and definitely do not do this either but this feels right and good (it did).


Things that stood out: He asked me if we are now dating, I asked if that's what he wanted to happen between us, and he said yes. I said I want that as well and we agreed to not see other people. He also told me "I would marry you in a heartbeat" and that he loves being in this situation with me, it makes him feel calm and comforted. He gave me assurances that he likes me a lot, and that he has no reason to see anyone else. He also said he won't change his mind about me when he woke up the next day. I reciprocated these feelings in my own words and we are on the same page. I know the pace is kind of crazy, but I generally tend to be over-cautious and not go with the flow, however, since it felt super natural and genuine with this dude, I went with it.


Since then: The next day I checked up on him and asked how he is doing. The conversation was short, and he didn't respond to me saying that I had a lovely time and want to see him again. He responded today by saying sorry for not responding earlier, he was super tired after all that travel. He said he had a great time as well and does want to see me again, however, he will be quite busy this next week. I responded to that by saying I totally understand (he had shared with me that he got a new job promotion and will be taking on more responsibility), and he is working on a second degree. I am in a doctorate program myself so I get it. I wished him good luck for the next week and that was the end of the conversation.


My understanding: I believe him to be genuine in what he said to me, I do not think he was lying. Additionally, he did not strike me as a player/playboy reciting rehearsed lines but seemed like he meant everything. He looked really happy and content to even simply hold my hand and talk about his life. However, I do think that maybe he is pulling back to gain some grounding in his own emotions. I do also believe he wants to see me again but is actually busy. Personally, I do want to see him again and I am willing to wait a week to reach back out and see how he is doing.


Am I correct in my understanding? Or am I too generous and charitable and am getting played?


When I see him again, should I bring up some questions I have for clarity? I just want to be on the same page about our dating boundaries and make sure he hasn't changed his mind about things. I know that Scorpios have the "intense af" stereotype but I like to think I spent a lot of time in therapy working on being more easy-going. So not being able to hang out for a week is fine, I think that is pretty reasonable between two working professionals.


However, I do know that I would like some communication, if he doesn't text me at all would that be an indicator of a change of heart? And should I bring that up to him when we hang out?


Thanks for reading

"(he had shared with me that he got a new job promotion and will be taking on more responsibility), and he is working on a second degree. "

Lmao this is what my Cappy told me before she disappeared.

Take things slow here. A lot of spaced out responses and apologies from him. Don't project your own interest on to him and look at his actions. His words say he wants to be with you now, but actions reflect him taking it slow.

I was messing with a younger Taurus last year and she was a complete mess. Would lie for no apparent reason, but the sex was bomb. All over the place and got upset at me for never taking her serious.

I should hit her up again.

Go with the flow, Scorpio. Slow and steady wins the race in the Taurus world—but I know when I’m really excited I have a tendency to rush into things and then question it later. If it feels right, go with that. Trust what he’s saying until you have a reason not to. This is how my relationship started with my ex fiancée who I’m still in love with lol. We saw one another and he asked me on a date—I think at least, I was so nervous he barely got two words in lol. I told him my first date policy which is no hanky panky, I ended up spilling a whole glass of water on his crotch at dinner lol, we go back to my place and I basically ripped his khakis off like they were tear away track pants, we have an amazing connection in every sense of the word and that’s how it started. We were practically inseparable from then on. It felt right, so be both went with it. This pairing can be a beautiful thing if both parties can let go of the idea of control. The only thing we can control in this life is ourselves, and both Scorpio and Taurus appreciate self-discipline and strength in a partner.

Well thing’s definitely escalated quickly between you two.

The dust is settling now.

Make sure the dust settles for you too and you’re getting your “wants” met.

Wait to see his actions towards you.

Busy or not, people make time for what they want

And unfortunately, with dealing with a Taurus, you will always be on THEIR page.

As the first fixed sign, they have more my way or the highway power and influence than scorpios or aquas

I think most men pull back naturally after sex, just to see if you will be clingy.

Just take it easy and don't over think it much.

Let him initiate some texts and reciprocate them.

If it was as good as you say, he'll be back.

He said certain things on your first date, so just wait and see if he changes his words on the next date, without grilling him for clarity.

If he said it, take it as he meant it for now, until his actions don't meet up with his words.

Balls in his court since you told him you would love to see him again. So sit back and let him come to you.

Take things slow here. A lot of spaced out responses and apologies from him. Don't project your own interest on to him and look at his actions. His words say he wants to be with you now, but actions reflect him taking it slow.

Yeah absolutely. Personally, I also move pretty slowly when dating, but this situation was like putting a regular dating scenario on 3x the speed. So it is good its slowed down now, I can definitely deal with the space and reach out in 1-2 weeks.

Well thing’s definitely escalated quickly between you two.


The dust is settling now.


Make sure the dust settles for you too and you’re getting your “wants” met.


Wait to see his actions towards you.


Busy or not, people make time for what they want

Yes, agreed. It's important for me to also understand this situation from some distance and see if my needs can be met. Thanks for pointing that out

"I know that Scorpios have the "intense af" stereotype but I like to think I spent a lot of time in therapy working on being more easy-going"


made me lol. If only all Scorpios could own up to this inherent fault in their nature and take steps to rectify it then the world would be a brighter place

Lmao, yeah when I was in my early 20s and less mature, a situation like this would have eaten me up from the inside. But I find that Scorpios tend to be super anxious and grasp for control in situations that are actually beyond their control. Being that way wasn't making my life easier, so it was hard but I am glad I took the time to work on it.

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Take things slow here. A lot of spaced out responses and apologies from him. Don't project your own interest on to him and look at his actions. His words say he wants to be with you now, but actions reflect him taking it slow.

Yeah absolutely. Personally, I also move pretty slowly when dating, but this situation was like putting a regular dating scenario on 3x the speed. So it is good its slowed down now, I can definitely deal with the space and reach out in 1-2 weeks.


click to expand

No darling! As a valuable Scorpio you are - you’ll fuck as many people UNTIL he comes back so you can tell him that you change your mind and won’t marry his slow stupid ass…

click to expand

Lol I understand your rage. I felt a little bit of it as well, however, when I detached and looked at the situation objectively, if he kept being that aggressive with affection, I would consider it a red flag. I think he was truthful in how he felt, but I also told him before we met that I take things slow. He hasn't told me that he doesn't wanna see me again, he does, but it seems like he is respecting my boundary to not rush into anything. And I also deserve honesty so I am fine if in this week he is sorting out his feelings to be honest.

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by saggurl88
I think most men pull back naturally after sex, just to see if you will be clingy.

Just take it easy and don't over think it much.

Let him initiate some texts and reciprocate them.

If it was as good as you say, he'll be back.

He said certain things on your first date, so just wait and see if he changes his words on the next date, without grilling him for clarity.

If he said it, take it as he meant it for now, until his actions don't meet up with his words.

Balls in his court since you told him you would love to see him again. So sit back and let him come to you.

Really?

I would marry you in a heartbeat but wait! after we fucked - I am so stupid and insensitive that I want to have a week break?


I NEVER had this shit happened to me!

And if it did - I would be fucking someone all week! Or 2. Or 3 people…fuck this POS!


God I am MAD!!! WHY these MTFKERS DO THIS—

click to expand

Do you need a hug or something?

Did you return his affectionate love bombing?

Meaning, did you just go along with his flowery language?

How much experience do you have with men and dating and sex?

I used to date a Taurus with a Venus in Aries and he would go on and on about his love bombing. But I rarely returned it because I was already too gun shy from having previous men turn on the charm and then discard me once I looked at them with loving eyes.

This made the Taurus come on stronger so I would get on the same page as him. His page. But I would just wave him away or just ignore him flat out. I didn’t care because It was all words. No actions.

One time he got so pissed off with my flippant attitude he stormed outta my house and slammed my door. I didn’t move one inch.

Days later he’s calling with the same flowery language begging to know why I haven’t reciprocated his feelings.

I reciprocate ACTION not words.

Men usually repeat the same game over and over. But you gotta stay grounded to catch on.

Posted by DMV
Did you return his affectionate love bombing?


Meaning, did you just go along with his flowery language?


How much experience do you have with men and dating and sex?


I used to date a Taurus with a Venus in Aries and he would go on and on about his love bombing. But I rarely returned it because I was already too gun shy from having previous men turn on the charm and then discard me once I looked at them with loving eyes.


This made the Taurus come on stronger so I would get on the same page as him. His page. But I would just wave him away or just ignore him flat out. I didn’t care because It was all words. No actions.


One time he got so pissed off with my flippant attitude he stormed outta my house and slammed my door. I didn’t move one inch.


Days later he’s calling with the same flowery language begging to know why I haven’t reciprocated his feelings.


I reciprocate ACTION not words.


Men usually repeat the same game over and over. But you gotta stay grounded to catch on.

are you asking me or the other person?

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by saggurl88
I think most men pull back naturally after sex, just to see if you will be clingy.

Just take it easy and don't over think it much.

Let him initiate some texts and reciprocate them.

If it was as good as you say, he'll be back.

He said certain things on your first date, so just wait and see if he changes his words on the next date, without grilling him for clarity.

If he said it, take it as he meant it for now, until his actions don't meet up with his words.

Balls in his court since you told him you would love to see him again. So sit back and let him come to you.

Really?

I would marry you in a heartbeat but wait! after we fucked - I am so stupid and insensitive that I want to have a week break?

I NEVER had this shit happened to me!

And if it did - I would be fucking someone all week! Or 2. Or 3 people…fuck this POS!

God I am MAD!!! WHY these MTFKERS DO THIS—
click to expand

Do you need a hug or something?
click to expand

NO! I need this fucking slow minded dick to suffer! WHO TF does he thinks he is giving a week? My cousin would make him cry…

click to expand

He love bombed her and then backed off.

You shouldn’t be asking someone “are we dating?” After literally going on a date and both people would like to see each other again.. I think that’s pretty obvious.

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Take things slow here. A lot of spaced out responses and apologies from him. Don't project your own interest on to him and look at his actions. His words say he wants to be with you now, but actions reflect him taking it slow.

Yeah absolutely. Personally, I also move pretty slowly when dating, but this situation was like putting a regular dating scenario on 3x the speed. So it is good its slowed down now, I can definitely deal with the space and reach out in 1-2 weeks.

click to expand

No darling! As a valuable Scorpio you are - you’ll fuck as many people UNTIL he comes back so you can tell him that you change your mind and won’t marry his slow stupid ass…
click to expand

Lol I understand your rage. I felt a little bit of it as well, however, when I detached and looked at the situation objectively, if he kept being that aggressive with affection, I would consider it a red flag. I think he was truthful in how he felt, but I also told him before we met that I take things slow. He hasn't told me that he doesn't wanna see me again, he does, but it seems like he is respecting my boundary to not rush into anything. And I also deserve honesty so I am fine if in this week he is sorting out his feelings to be honest.
click to expand

Why is an affection is red flag? Because your desperate ass is already gave him all props to do whatever he wants just if he comes back?

HOW are you expecting to be respected IF you do not respect yourself? Huh—

A WEEK—

My Virgo is fucking 60 y/old and he is traveling for cooking shows with 16 pieces of luggage and when he comes back all he thinks is if we have time to fuck more than once that day!

Fuck them weak assed men!

You all deserve them! Wait for a week…or months. And I am sorry…he doesn’t stay connected is he? Oh! There is an excuse…because he is…Taurus! And they are bad texters…unless they want to FUCK YOU and leave you…

Why am I so steamed up? fuck it…

click to expand

Affection is not a red flag but showing that much affection to someone who already communicated that they want to go slow definitely is. I already told him before we met that I go slow, it just so happened we ended up sleeping together. That doesn't mean that I will throw away my own boundaries - I am respecting myself by maintaining my boundaries.

Just want to clarify that I am not confused - "oh does he like me?", as I said, I know he does. But we met once and we hung out for a few hours. The pace was too fast. It seems like the pace slowed down. Also, when we hang out next, what makes you think I will just be like "oh ya u can do whatever u want?". That's definitely not how it goes with me lol. If he can't put in effort long term consistently, I don't want anything to do with him.

Posted by BullofHeaven
I dont get the problem. You guys have reciprocated feelings for each other. You say he's kinda a social heel, not likely to be a player. He has legitimate reasons you yourself understand. Why does he have to be up your ass all the time? If he's responding to your texts, and nothing really seems like a red flag - this is on you and your insecurities. I mean do you want a guy who handles responsibilities, has a career, and is educated? Or do you want someone who works as a line cook and has all the time in the world for you, but thats about all they have to offer? You're not going to get both.

Sorry, I don't mean to be giving the impression that I have a problem with it. My post was specifically to verify if I have a reasonable approach to this, not that "Oh I am not getting enough attention". That's definitely not the case here. I understand his reasons are totally legitimate but I also know it's easy to be biased when you're *in* the situation, so I was just laying out the facts and asking if my line of thinking makes sense or if I am too charitable. Sometimes a second pair of eyes is helpful

Posted by BullofHeaven
I dont get the problem. You guys have reciprocated feelings for each other. You say he's kinda a social heel, not likely to be a player. He has legitimate reasons you yourself understand. Why does he have to be up your ass all the time? If he's responding to your texts, and nothing really seems like a red flag - this is on you and your insecurities. I mean do you want a guy who handles responsibilities, has a career, and is educated? Or do you want someone who works as a line cook and has all the time in the world for you, but thats about all they have to offer? You're not going to get both.

The problem is sex was added to the equation and OP said it was good.

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Take things slow here. A lot of spaced out responses and apologies from him. Don't project your own interest on to him and look at his actions. His words say he wants to be with you now, but actions reflect him taking it slow.

Yeah absolutely. Personally, I also move pretty slowly when dating, but this situation was like putting a regular dating scenario on 3x the speed. So it is good its slowed down now, I can definitely deal with the space and reach out in 1-2 weeks.

click to expand

No darling! As a valuable Scorpio you are - you’ll fuck as many people UNTIL he comes back so you can tell him that you change your mind and won’t marry his slow stupid ass…
click to expand

Lol I understand your rage. I felt a little bit of it as well, however, when I detached and looked at the situation objectively, if he kept being that aggressive with affection, I would consider it a red flag. I think he was truthful in how he felt, but I also told him before we met that I take things slow. He hasn't told me that he doesn't wanna see me again, he does, but it seems like he is respecting my boundary to not rush into anything. And I also deserve honesty so I am fine if in this week he is sorting out his feelings to be honest.
click to expand

Why is an affection is red flag? Because your desperate ass is already gave him all props to do whatever he wants just if he comes back?

HOW are you expecting to be respected IF you do not respect yourself? Huh—

A WEEK—

My Virgo is fucking 60 y/old and he is traveling for cooking shows with 16 pieces of luggage and when he comes back all he thinks is if we have time to fuck more than once that day!

Fuck them weak assed men!

You all deserve them! Wait for a week…or months. And I am sorry…he doesn’t stay connected is he? Oh! There is an excuse…because he is…Taurus! And they are bad texters…unless they want to FUCK YOU and leave you…

Why am I so steamed up? fuck it…
click to expand

Affection is not a red flag but showing that much affection to someone who already communicated that they want to go slow definitely is. I already told him before we met that I go slow, it just so happened we ended up sleeping together. That doesn't mean that I will throw away my own boundaries - I am respecting myself by maintaining my boundaries.


Just want to clarify that I am not confused - "oh does he like me?", as I said, I know he does. But we met once and we hung out for a few hours. The pace was too fast. It seems like the pace slowed down. Also, when we hang out next, what makes you think I will just be like "oh ya u can do whatever u want?". That's definitely not how it goes with me lol. If he can't put in effort long term consistently, I don't want anything to do with him.

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You keep saying you go slow but you had one date and ended up going fast, and now he's going slow, like you told him to.

I'm not sure why there was a need to pace things. His fast pace talking got the job done, so what is the slow part?

Going slow means different things to different people. He is moving slow right now, so have some patience until he sets a date.

What rules are you trying to put in place that weren't there on the first date, and why switch up like that? The precedent for what a date is like with you has been set.

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by BullofHeaven
I dont get the problem. You guys have reciprocated feelings for each other. You say he's kinda a social heel, not likely to be a player. He has legitimate reasons you yourself understand. Why does he have to be up your ass all the time? If he's responding to your texts, and nothing really seems like a red flag - this is on you and your insecurities. I mean do you want a guy who handles responsibilities, has a career, and is educated? Or do you want someone who works as a line cook and has all the time in the world for you, but thats about all they have to offer? You're not going to get both.

The problem is sex was added to the equation and OP said it was good.

click to expand

Yes, pretty much. And it was added much quicker than we both usually do it while dating, he told me this himself. Like we were both kinda like "damn this never happens to us but this is awesome". So it is an outlier for both of us, just trying to navigate this situation

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by DMV
Did you return his affectionate love bombing?

Meaning, did you just go along with his flowery language?

How much experience do you have with men and dating and sex?

I used to date a Taurus with a Venus in Aries and he would go on and on about his love bombing. But I rarely returned it because I was already too gun shy from having previous men turn on the charm and then discard me once I looked at them with loving eyes.

This made the Taurus come on stronger so I would get on the same page as him. His page. But I would just wave him away or just ignore him flat out. I didn’t care because It was all words. No actions.

One time he got so pissed off with my flippant attitude he stormed outta my house and slammed my door. I didn’t move one inch.

Days later he’s calling with the same flowery language begging to know why I haven’t reciprocated his feelings.

I reciprocate ACTION not words.

Men usually repeat the same game over and over. But you gotta stay grounded to catch on.

are you asking me or the other person?
click to expand

Did he ducked your brain out completely? 🤔

click to expand

My man, that other person gave me some advice already and I responded to them on a different thread. So wasn't sure if they were asking me or trying to talk to you. Why so aggressive?

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by BullofHeaven
I dont get the problem. You guys have reciprocated feelings for each other. You say he's kinda a social heel, not likely to be a player. He has legitimate reasons you yourself understand. Why does he have to be up your ass all the time? If he's responding to your texts, and nothing really seems like a red flag - this is on you and your insecurities. I mean do you want a guy who handles responsibilities, has a career, and is educated? Or do you want someone who works as a line cook and has all the time in the world for you, but thats about all they have to offer? You're not going to get both.

The problem is sex was added to the equation and OP said it was good.
click to expand

Yes, pretty much. And it was added much quicker than we both usually do it while dating, he told me this himself. Like we were both kinda like "damn this never happens to us but this is awesome". So it is an outlier for both of us, just trying to navigate this situation

click to expand

🤣🤣🤣🤣 He's got you on the ropes. You got to be strong and outwait him.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Take things slow here. A lot of spaced out responses and apologies from him. Don't project your own interest on to him and look at his actions. His words say he wants to be with you now, but actions reflect him taking it slow.

Yeah absolutely. Personally, I also move pretty slowly when dating, but this situation was like putting a regular dating scenario on 3x the speed. So it is good its slowed down now, I can definitely deal with the space and reach out in 1-2 weeks.

click to expand

No darling! As a valuable Scorpio you are - you’ll fuck as many people UNTIL he comes back so you can tell him that you change your mind and won’t marry his slow stupid ass…
click to expand

Lol I understand your rage. I felt a little bit of it as well, however, when I detached and looked at the situation objectively, if he kept being that aggressive with affection, I would consider it a red flag. I think he was truthful in how he felt, but I also told him before we met that I take things slow. He hasn't told me that he doesn't wanna see me again, he does, but it seems like he is respecting my boundary to not rush into anything. And I also deserve honesty so I am fine if in this week he is sorting out his feelings to be honest.
click to expand

Why is an affection is red flag? Because your desperate ass is already gave him all props to do whatever he wants just if he comes back?

HOW are you expecting to be respected IF you do not respect yourself? Huh—

A WEEK—

My Virgo is fucking 60 y/old and he is traveling for cooking shows with 16 pieces of luggage and when he comes back all he thinks is if we have time to fuck more than once that day!

Fuck them weak assed men!

You all deserve them! Wait for a week…or months. And I am sorry…he doesn’t stay connected is he? Oh! There is an excuse…because he is…Taurus! And they are bad texters…unless they want to FUCK YOU and leave you…

Why am I so steamed up? fuck it…
click to expand

Affection is not a red flag but showing that much affection to someone who already communicated that they want to go slow definitely is. I already told him before we met that I go slow, it just so happened we ended up sleeping together. That doesn't mean that I will throw away my own boundaries - I am respecting myself by maintaining my boundaries.

Just want to clarify that I am not confused - "oh does he like me?", as I said, I know he does. But we met once and we hung out for a few hours. The pace was too fast. It seems like the pace slowed down. Also, when we hang out next, what makes you think I will just be like "oh ya u can do whatever u want?". That's definitely not how it goes with me lol. If he can't put in effort long term consistently, I don't want anything to do with him.
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You keep saying you go slow but you had one date and ended up going fast, and now he's going slow, like you told him to.


I'm not sure why there was a need to pace things. His fast pace talking got the job done, so what is the slow part?


Going slow means different things to different people. He is moving slow right now, so have some patience until he sets a date.


What rules are you trying to put in place that weren't there on the first date, and why switch up like that? The precedent for what a date is like with you has been set.

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I am not sure if you missed it but this situation is an outlier for us both, we rarely rush to get physical so quick with people we are going on a first date. Not taking away from the situation, it was great. I also didn't tell him to slow down after our date. Before we met, over text conversation I had mentioned that I like to go slow and he said him as well. So I'm just saying he knows that is what I like and it seems like naturally there is a slowing of pace, which I am fine with. I do not feel like I am not getting enough attention or that he is blowing me off. He said he wants to see me again but he is busy this week. All I wanted to do was post the facts of the situation and understand that I am coming at it from a clear head, sometimes a second pair of eyes is helpful

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by BullofHeaven
I dont get the problem. You guys have reciprocated feelings for each other. You say he's kinda a social heel, not likely to be a player. He has legitimate reasons you yourself understand. Why does he have to be up your ass all the time? If he's responding to your texts, and nothing really seems like a red flag - this is on you and your insecurities. I mean do you want a guy who handles responsibilities, has a career, and is educated? Or do you want someone who works as a line cook and has all the time in the world for you, but thats about all they have to offer? You're not going to get both.

The problem is sex was added to the equation and OP said it was good.
click to expand

Yes, pretty much. And it was added much quicker than we both usually do it while dating, he told me this himself. Like we were both kinda like "damn this never happens to us but this is awesome". So it is an outlier for both of us, just trying to navigate this situation


click to expand

🤣🤣🤣🤣 He's got you on the ropes. You got to be strong and outwait him.

click to expand

Lol, I am fine with that. The consensus seems to be that if there is mutual interest then nothing is wrong until it's communicated. I mean, I want the space too to let the dust settle.

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Take things slow here. A lot of spaced out responses and apologies from him. Don't project your own interest on to him and look at his actions. His words say he wants to be with you now, but actions reflect him taking it slow.

Yeah absolutely. Personally, I also move pretty slowly when dating, but this situation was like putting a regular dating scenario on 3x the speed. So it is good its slowed down now, I can definitely deal with the space and reach out in 1-2 weeks.

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No darling! As a valuable Scorpio you are - you’ll fuck as many people UNTIL he comes back so you can tell him that you change your mind and won’t marry his slow stupid ass…
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Lol I understand your rage. I felt a little bit of it as well, however, when I detached and looked at the situation objectively, if he kept being that aggressive with affection, I would consider it a red flag. I think he was truthful in how he felt, but I also told him before we met that I take things slow. He hasn't told me that he doesn't wanna see me again, he does, but it seems like he is respecting my boundary to not rush into anything. And I also deserve honesty so I am fine if in this week he is sorting out his feelings to be honest.
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Why is an affection is red flag? Because your desperate ass is already gave him all props to do whatever he wants just if he comes back?

HOW are you expecting to be respected IF you do not respect yourself? Huh—

A WEEK—

My Virgo is fucking 60 y/old and he is traveling for cooking shows with 16 pieces of luggage and when he comes back all he thinks is if we have time to fuck more than once that day!

Fuck them weak assed men!

You all deserve them! Wait for a week…or months. And I am sorry…he doesn’t stay connected is he? Oh! There is an excuse…because he is…Taurus! And they are bad texters…unless they want to FUCK YOU and leave you…

Why am I so steamed up? fuck it…
click to expand

Affection is not a red flag but showing that much affection to someone who already communicated that they want to go slow definitely is. I already told him before we met that I go slow, it just so happened we ended up sleeping together. That doesn't mean that I will throw away my own boundaries - I am respecting myself by maintaining my boundaries.

Just want to clarify that I am not confused - "oh does he like me?", as I said, I know he does. But we met once and we hung out for a few hours. The pace was too fast. It seems like the pace slowed down. Also, when we hang out next, what makes you think I will just be like "oh ya u can do whatever u want?". That's definitely not how it goes with me lol. If he can't put in effort long term consistently, I don't want anything to do with him.
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You keep saying you go slow but you had one date and ended up going fast, and now he's going slow, like you told him to.

I'm not sure why there was a need to pace things. His fast pace talking got the job done, so what is the slow part?

Going slow means different things to different people. He is moving slow right now, so have some patience until he sets a date.

What rules are you trying to put in place that weren't there on the first date, and why switch up like that? The precedent for what a date is like with you has been set.
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I am not sure if you missed it but this situation is an outlier for us both, we rarely rush to get physical so quick with people we are going on a first date. Not taking away from the situation, it was great. I also didn't tell him to slow down after our date. Before we met, over text conversation I had mentioned that I like to go slow and he said him as well. So I'm just saying he knows that is what I like and it seems like naturally there is a slowing of pace, which I am fine with. I do not feel like I am not getting enough attention or that he is blowing me off. He said he wants to see me again but he is busy this week. All I wanted to do was post the facts of the situation and understand that I am coming at it from a clear head, sometimes a second pair of eyes is helpful

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You guys are both consenting adults. Sex shouldn't be weighed so heavily. It happened, you both enjoyed it, so just see where things go from there.

My opinion, for all that it's worth, I would keep the "I've never done this type of thing" to a minimum. It usually sounds like a lie, he's a smooth talker, so he could be telling a lie as well.

If you felt a connection so easily with his love bombing, what makes you think others didn't fall just as fast? His ego wouldn't be thinking that you do this type of thing all the time, so there's not a point in bringing it up.

Either way, both of you should have no regrets and should just be able to pick up where you left off, which was enjoying getting to know each other.

Just be yourself and act like it wasn't a big deal, since it wasn't. It relieves lots of pressure and eases the anxiety of thinking you had sex too soon.

I was asking you OP.

I’ve just heard all those lines before from guys and you gotta keep your wits about you.

I think there’s another recent post with a girl asking about her busier than usual Taurus . That same exact shit tbh.

Taurus has a good time

Taurus love bombs

Other person reciprocates

Taurus backs off and plays the I’m too busy card

Other person is completely lost as to how someone can change up so quickly

Other person asks Taurus for clarification

Taurus plays dumb and has no idea what is going on

Other person is confused and comes to dxp

Other person ask Taurus again what is going on or blocks taurus looking for an emotional response. Then apologizes just so they can talk to the taurus

Taurus gets all hot and bothered and asks for space, he will say he’s being smothered and feels trapped

Other person is truly driven insane and backs off completely

Taurus shows up days, months maybe even years later like nothing ever happened

Posted by DMV
I was asking you OP.


I’ve just heard all those lines before from guys and you gotta keep your wits about you.


I think there’s another recent post with a girl asking about her busier than usual Taurus . That same exact shit tbh.


Taurus has a good time

Taurus love bombs

Other person reciprocates

Taurus backs off and plays the I’m too busy card

Other person is completely lost as to how someone can change up so quickly

Other person asks Taurus for clarification

Taurus plays dumb and has no idea what is going on

Other person is confused and comes to dxp

Other person ask Taurus again what is going on or blocks taurus looking for an emotional response. Then apologizes just so they can talk to the taurus

Taurus gets all hot and bothered and asks for space, he will say he’s being smothered and feels trapped

Other person is truly driven insane and backs off completely

Taurus shows up days, months maybe even years later like nothing ever happened

This isn't exclusive to a sign.

These are the indicators of someone who just isn't that interested or hasn't had enough time to develop feelings.

If he takes longer than two weeks to reach out, OP should hang it up as far as a relationship or long-term.

Someone in an emotionally healthy state along with liking you will not leave you hanging.

No one finds it fundamentally creepy and toxic that this guy wants to marry her after only a few hours LOL 💀

Holy shit this site is wild sometimes

Big huge massive red flag right in your face hellloooo 🚩

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by DMV
I was asking you OP.

I’ve just heard all those lines before from guys and you gotta keep your wits about you.

I think there’s another recent post with a girl asking about her busier than usual Taurus . That same exact shit tbh.

Taurus has a good time

Taurus love bombs

Other person reciprocates

Taurus backs off and plays the I’m too busy card

Other person is completely lost as to how someone can change up so quickly

Other person asks Taurus for clarification

Taurus plays dumb and has no idea what is going on

Other person is confused and comes to dxp

Other person ask Taurus again what is going on or blocks taurus looking for an emotional response. Then apologizes just so they can talk to the taurus

Taurus gets all hot and bothered and asks for space, he will say he’s being smothered and feels trapped

Other person is truly driven insane and backs off completely

Taurus shows up days, months maybe even years later like nothing ever happened

This isn't exclusive to a sign.


These are the indicators of someone who just isn't that interested or hasn't had enough time to develop feelings.


If he takes longer than two weeks to reach out, OP should hang it up as far as a relationship or long-term.


Someone in an emotionally healthy state along with liking you will not leave you hanging.

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That’s why I asked how much experience has she had with men, dating and sex.

A lot of them will echo what the woman wants to have an easy path to success. I never do this on the first date, oh yeah me neither. Then after sex, the woman starts to go along with what the man wants maybe in secret hopes to have that encounter again; the feels. He says he’s busy and woman goes, it’s cool no problem…when it IS a problem.

There are just too many stores of My Taurus man disappeared

Posted by nanochip
No one finds it fundamentally creepy and toxic that this guy wants to marry her after only a few hours LOL 💀


Holy shit this site is wild sometimes


Big huge massive red flag right in your face hellloooo 🚩

Actually a libra man was tenderly kissing me after first time sex and told me that he would never hurt me. All these sweet nothings. My dumb ass believed him and allowed myself to drown in the emotions.

The next day while I was leaving, I asked him if he wanted to go out later and he gave me the “bitch are you crazy look.” I was so embarrassed.

I learned real quick that some of these men will use a woman’s emotions against them because it makes the sex better when a woman is emotionally invested.

You have to keep your wits about you

Posted by DMV
I was asking you OP.


I’ve just heard all those lines before from guys and you gotta keep your wits about you.


I think there’s another recent post with a girl asking about her busier than usual Taurus . That same exact shit tbh.


Taurus has a good time

Taurus love bombs

Other person reciprocates

Taurus backs off and plays the I’m too busy card

Other person is completely lost as to how someone can change up so quickly

Other person asks Taurus for clarification

Taurus plays dumb and has no idea what is going on

Other person is confused and comes to dxp

Other person ask Taurus again what is going on or blocks taurus looking for an emotional response. Then apologizes just so they can talk to the taurus

Taurus gets all hot and bothered and asks for space, he will say he’s being smothered and feels trapped

Other person is truly driven insane and backs off completely

Taurus shows up days, months maybe even years later like nothing ever happened

Great point, I have to admit I have no inclination to become part of this pattern so if I detect signs of it progressing that way, I will definitely leave. Just to clarify, that was our first date and we only spoke twice before that - both times to schedule. Also, he said all that stuff after sex not before, which I am usually super wary of because of what you said exactly - that sometimes people will say whatever to get you in bed. I have dated a fair bit and am usually super vigilant about these types of words. It honestly felt extremely genuine when we met, he wasn't cheesy over the top or anything, we just talked naturally and things progressed. I mean, he could still be doing that to be manipulative, but I feel if that is the case then new things will surface as time goes on and if that happens I'm going to nope out of this situation.

I am interested yes, but not at the cost of my mental health or internal peace. So if there is no progress then I'm not going to stay in this situation or push for anything.

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by BullofHeaven
I dont get the problem. You guys have reciprocated feelings for each other. You say he's kinda a social heel, not likely to be a player. He has legitimate reasons you yourself understand. Why does he have to be up your ass all the time? If he's responding to your texts, and nothing really seems like a red flag - this is on you and your insecurities. I mean do you want a guy who handles responsibilities, has a career, and is educated? Or do you want someone who works as a line cook and has all the time in the world for you, but thats about all they have to offer? You're not going to get both.

The problem is sex was added to the equation and OP said it was good.
click to expand

Yes, pretty much. And it was added much quicker than we both usually do it while dating, he told me this himself. Like we were both kinda like "damn this never happens to us but this is awesome". So it is an outlier for both of us, just trying to navigate this situation

click to expand

🤣🤣🤣🤣 He's got you on the ropes. You got to be strong and outwait him.
click to expand

Lol, I am fine with that. The consensus seems to be that if there is mutual interest then nothing is wrong until it's communicated. I mean, I want the space too to let the dust settle.
click to expand

Do you wanna bet that he is gone?

And you are lucky he is.

I don’t want to win this bet.

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I mean if he is gone then so be it. I'm not desperate and I'm not going to try and chase a dead end. I don't think I have said that I want to push for anything with this man. Of course, if he doesn't reach out to me in a week or two, even if he comes back later, it's too late.

Posted by avalon1511
Hi!


I'm 28F Scorpio, met this 30M Taurus on a dating app.


Background: Matched on Bumble (the app where women initiate first within 24h of matching) on a day I was traveling, so I didn't realized we matched. Later on, I got a notification saying he had extended the match by 48h, which I took as a sign of genuine interest. So I initiated, we chatted and he asked to set up a drinks date when he got back into town. I agreed and said no worries that he wont be back for 14 days, I am down to meet him when he is. This past Friday, he messaged me saying he is coming back earlier than expected and sent me his number so that we could text. We texted and set up a spontaneous date the same night he got back to grab some drinks. Very low-key and low-pressure. Altho I noticed his texting habits are super bad, but I realize not everyone is good on text.


However, he showed up and we ended up with insane chemistry on both ends, and sparks flew almost immediately. He is visibly nervous and tells me so, I am also nervous but reassure him. We talk, and he initiates holding hands, then go back to his place to talk more. We end up sleeping together (again, quite amazing) after which we talk more about personal lives/hopes/dreams/long-term goals professionally and relationship-wise. He states multiple times that he does not do this at all with first dates, assuring me that this is special. I also assure him because I am somewhat shy and reserved myself, and definitely do not do this either but this feels right and good (it did).


Things that stood out: He asked me if we are now dating, I asked if that's what he wanted to happen between us, and he said yes. I said I want that as well and we agreed to not see other people. He also told me "I would marry you in a heartbeat" and that he loves being in this situation with me, it makes him feel calm and comforted. He gave me assurances that he likes me a lot, and that he has no reason to see anyone else. He also said he won't change his mind about me when he woke up the next day. I reciprocated these feelings in my own words and we are on the same page. I know the pace is kind of crazy, but I generally tend to be over-cautious and not go with the flow, however, since it felt super natural and genuine with this dude, I went with it.


Since then: The next day I checked up on him and asked how he is doing. The conversation was short, and he didn't respond to me saying that I had a lovely time and want to see him again. He responded today by saying sorry for not responding earlier, he was super tired after all that travel. He said he had a great time as well and does want to see me again, however, he will be quite busy this next week. I responded to that by saying I totally understand (he had shared with me that he got a new job promotion and will be taking on more responsibility), and he is working on a second degree. I am in a doctorate program myself so I get it. I wished him good luck for the next week and that was the end of the conversation.


My understanding: I believe him to be genuine in what he said to me, I do not think he was lying. Additionally, he did not strike me as a player/playboy reciting rehearsed lines but seemed like he meant everything. He looked really happy and content to even simply hold my hand and talk about his life. However, I do think that maybe he is pulling back to gain some grounding in his own emotions. I do also believe he wants to see me again but is actually busy. Personally, I do want to see him again and I am willing to wait a week to reach back out and see how he is doing.


Am I correct in my understanding? Or am I too generous and charitable and am getting played?


When I see him again, should I bring up some questions I have for clarity? I just want to be on the same page about our dating boundaries and make sure he hasn't changed his mind about things. I know that Scorpios have the "intense af" stereotype but I like to think I spent a lot of time in therapy working on being more easy-going. So not being able to hang out for a week is fine, I think that is pretty reasonable between two working professionals.


However, I do know that I would like some communication, if he doesn't text me at all would that be an indicator of a change of heart? And should I bring that up to him when we hang out?


Thanks for reading

Take him for his word unless you have evidence to the contrary. Far warning what you describe isn't normal chemistry or at least rare. It can be overwhelming hence the gushing. THAT'S OK. A bit of back petaling is normal because of the overwhelming chemistry. Because it's not normal of so strong doubts and second guessing is also normal. Which is exactly what you are doing now😁

So chill unless you have evidence to the contrary or if it was too much for him. If your both cool then just enjoy 🙂

Posted by DMV

Posted by nanochip
No one finds it fundamentally creepy and toxic that this guy wants to marry her after only a few hours LOL 💀

Holy shit this site is wild sometimes

Big huge massive red flag right in your face hellloooo 🚩

Actually a libra man was tenderly kissing me after first time sex and told me that he would never hurt me. All these sweet nothings. My dumb ass believed him and allowed myself to drown in the emotions.


The next day while I was leaving, I asked him if he wanted to go out later and he gave me the “bitch are you crazy look.” I was so embarrassed.


I learned real quick that some of these men will use a woman’s emotions against them because it makes the sex better when a woman is emotionally invested.


You have to keep your wits about you

click to expand

Yea it’s quite sad that some men emotionally hit below the belt that way, so to speak. It’s really the coward’s way to score. It’s the biggest reddest flag of all and so ingenuine and cringe. If a man told me he wanted to marry me within an hour of meeting me for the first time ever, I would tell him that was creepy or laugh in his face probably more likely. What a load of bullshit

In this case, these words paired with the distance, makes no sense to me. He wants to get married after 1 hour, but he can’t be bothered to send a few texts a day? Ain’t no way 💀 It was stated however that he was a poor texter so I guess it’s possible that he’s just like that, and for that reason I would say deserves the benefit of the doubt for now.

Posted by GeminiJim

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by avalon1511

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by BullofHeaven
I dont get the problem. You guys have reciprocated feelings for each other. You say he's kinda a social heel, not likely to be a player. He has legitimate reasons you yourself understand. Why does he have to be up your ass all the time? If he's responding to your texts, and nothing really seems like a red flag - this is on you and your insecurities. I mean do you want a guy who handles responsibilities, has a career, and is educated? Or do you want someone who works as a line cook and has all the time in the world for you, but thats about all they have to offer? You're not going to get both.

The problem is sex was added to the equation and OP said it was good.
click to expand

Yes, pretty much. And it was added much quicker than we both usually do it while dating, he told me this himself. Like we were both kinda like "damn this never happens to us but this is awesome". So it is an outlier for both of us, just trying to navigate this situation

click to expand

🤣🤣🤣🤣 He's got you on the ropes. You got to be strong and outwait him.
click to expand

Lol, I am fine with that. The consensus seems to be that if there is mutual interest then nothing is wrong until it's communicated. I mean, I want the space too to let the dust settle.
click to expand

Do you wanna bet that he is gone?

And you are lucky he is.

I don’t want to win this bet.
click to expand

I mean if he is gone then so be it. I'm not desperate and I'm not going to try and chase a dead end. I don't think I have said that I want to push for anything with this man. Of course, if he doesn't reach out to me in a week or two, even if he comes back later, it's too late.
click to expand

Seems like you are doing the Scorpio thing of looking under the sofa for a hidden bomb

Like you said, you can't control what happens beyond doing what is right for you. Right now you feel ok but anxious about it all. There's not much point in analysing it further, you have to wait for developments


"I am interested yes, but not at the cost of my mental health or internal peace. So if there is no progress then I'm not going to stay in this situation or push for anything."


^^ like your mental health/peace is dependent on you and how you process events. Being Patient, waiting, not knowing, doing nothing - these things can destroy you if you let them

click to expand

Yes you’re right in saying I’m doing the Scorpio thing of looking for a bomb and that’s partly why I posted here. However I do agree that not getting fixated on this is the best thing and to be very honest after reading all the responses , I have been doing my own thing (like work and hobbies). I wouldn’t say I’ve totally written this dude off but I also wouldn’t say I’m waiting to hear from him everyday (checking my phone etc) . You’re right in saying things have to happen that I can’t control. So I am just letting this situation sit and see what happens!

Posted by nanochip

Posted by DMV

Posted by nanochip
No one finds it fundamentally creepy and toxic that this guy wants to marry her after only a few hours LOL 💀

Holy shit this site is wild sometimes

Big huge massive red flag right in your face hellloooo 🚩

Actually a libra man was tenderly kissing me after first time sex and told me that he would never hurt me. All these sweet nothings. My dumb ass believed him and allowed myself to drown in the emotions.

The next day while I was leaving, I asked him if he wanted to go out later and he gave me the “bitch are you crazy look.” I was so embarrassed.

I learned real quick that some of these men will use a woman’s emotions against them because it makes the sex better when a woman is emotionally invested.

You have to keep your wits about you
click to expand

Yea it’s quite sad that some men emotionally hit below the belt that way, so to speak. It’s really the coward’s way to score. It’s the biggest reddest flag of all and so ingenuine and cringe. If a man told me he wanted to marry me within an hour of meeting me for the first time ever, I would tell him that was creepy or laugh in his face probably more likely. What a load of bullshit


In this case, these words paired with the distance, makes no sense to me. He wants to get married after 1 hour, but he can’t be bothered to send a few texts a day? Ain’t no way 💀 It was stated however that he was a poor texter so I guess it’s possible that he’s just like that, and for that reason I would say deserves the benefit of the doubt for now.

click to expand

That’s exactly how I think too, the inconsistency is something I’m not familiar with. Also yeah when he told me that I was pretty surprised but I chalked it up to him being extremely enamored. I’m extending the benefit of doubt for now but extremely cautiously and not like at the expense of my own internal peace.

Updating for those curious:

He texted me apologizing for the lack of communication. Said he was supposed to be super busy at work this week anyway and we kinda met right before he needed to commit 16 hours a day to his job. We are talking to set up a second meeting.

For those telling me I should be mad or should try to sleep with other people in the interim- look, I am a super ambitious girl and he is a very ambitious man too. I don’t text someone I’m interested in all the time because I have my own life going on as well. I like ambition and am attracted to it and texting more often comes naturally over time. Being joined at the hip from the get go is not for me and sets bad precedence imo.

If anything more interesting happens I will update this thread again.