Posted by CookieMonster123
What you said to him exactly?
What is your sign btw?
Posted by CookieMonster123He messaged the first night, not much but ok. I thought he was tired but left him alone.
What you said to him exactly?
Posted by TruemaraIts been hard I love him.... always will. I think he is my true love. But I feel what you are saying about it being a blessing maybe. I have read a lot on asperger, it resonates SO much... but day to day is very very difficult
Have you researched aspberger and partnership. It unbending, my way or the highlight , very difficult so much people are misdiagnoses with narcissism. Lack of empathy. I’m sorry your hurting it might be a blessing in disguise in the long run. I suggest you research on partnering with asperbeger.
Posted by TruemaraSmall things, always there for her... takes her to hospital appointments... takes big offence if anything negative said about her... didn't come to see me over lockdown (he could have locked down with me)... said he didn't want to put her at risk. But never thought the same for me! when he came to see me!! She's older, so thought he was just being respectful.
How does he put his ex first?
Posted by LadyNeptuneYeah, thats why I haven't contacted him since he unblocked me. I think he also worries because of her age! But you are right, 100%
Ultimately it doesn't matter if he is estranged from the wife or not. She is still higher up on his priorities then you, his gf.
Fucking you is the only place where you win out over her (allegedly). But overall the scales swing in her favor.
Thing is if you accept him back you accept him as he is. And you accept that he will continue to put his ex wife higher then you unfair as that is.
Posted by TruemaraYeah I think its complicated, she is 20 years older! His kids also live there, so I guess, and do understand he felt he wanted to be there. If it was in isolation, I could handle it, but there are so many small instances... he's admitted that he's very sentimental. He's not a bad man, he's a good man... but very complicated .
He quarantined which his older ex!!!
Maybe he’s not over her why he got mad and almost broke up with you cuz u started to criticize her.
Posted by TaureancosmicProbably for the best. Maybe your absence will cause him to realize he misses you. You never know what you have until its gone... or however that saying goes. If he reaches out apologetic and what not you have your chance to set new boundaries, air your grievances, and make it known you won't stick around and be second place to his estranged wife.Posted by LadyNeptune
Ultimately it doesn't matter if he is estranged from the wife or not. She is still higher up on his priorities then you, his gf.
Fucking you is the only place where you win out over her (allegedly). But overall the scales swing in her favor.
Thing is if you accept him back you accept him as he is. And you accept that he will continue to put his ex wife higher then you unfair as that is.
Yeah, thats why I haven't contacted him since he unblocked me. I think he also worries because of her age! But you are right, 100%click to expand
Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by LadyNeptune
Ultimately it doesn't matter if he is estranged from the wife or not. She is still higher up on his priorities then you, his gf.
Fucking you is the only place where you win out over her (allegedly). But overall the scales swing in her favor.
Thing is if you accept him back you accept him as he is. And you accept that he will continue to put his ex wife higher then you unfair as that is.
Yeah, thats why I haven't contacted him since he unblocked me. I think he also worries because of her age! But you are right, 100%click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneThank you, yes, I think you may be right. My heart is hurting so bad; but I have to be strong... I don't know how accurate Youtube tarot readings are, but they are all saying the same thing almost... that he will contact. I can only concentrate on myself for now, and leave it to the universe I guess. I feel like I can feel him, but it could be my stupid imagination! Thanks againPosted by TaureancosmicPosted by LadyNeptune
Ultimately it doesn't matter if he is estranged from the wife or not. She is still higher up on his priorities then you, his gf.
Fucking you is the only place where you win out over her (allegedly). But overall the scales swing in her favor.
Thing is if you accept him back you accept him as he is. And you accept that he will continue to put his ex wife higher then you unfair as that is.
Yeah, thats why I haven't contacted him since he unblocked me. I think he also worries because of her age! But you are right, 100%
Probably for the best. Maybe your absence will cause him to realize he misses you. You never know what you have until its gone... or however that saying goes. If he reaches out apologetic and what not you have your chance to set new boundaries, air your grievances, and make it known you won't stick around and be second place to his estranged wife.
And if he doesn't reach out you know he really didn't value the relationship as much as you did. You can begin to heal and close this chapter and free up your heart for someone ready to match the investment you have to offer.click to expand
Posted by TruemaraShe's a cancer, she's 69Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by LadyNeptune
Ultimately it doesn't matter if he is estranged from the wife or not. She is still higher up on his priorities then you, his gf.
Fucking you is the only place where you win out over her (allegedly). But overall the scales swing in her favor.
Thing is if you accept him back you accept him as he is. And you accept that he will continue to put his ex wife higher then you unfair as that is.
Yeah, thats why I haven't contacted him since he unblocked me. I think he also worries because of her age! But you are right, 100%
How old is she? And what’s her sign ?
I mean if she mid 40 s to 50 I got to crack up’ she’s not an invalid. Age to worry is 70-80s lol
Did she dump him?click to expand
Posted by The_Spirit_of_Alex_TrebekThanks yes, I have been reading . I am struggling to see where the Aspergers ends, and the Taurean man starts! I never heard Aspergers men preferring older women, thats new to me. I know there is trouble with sensory overload which is why I always give him time, try not to hassle. Also, every thing I have read states that no 2 cases of autism are the same, so then it becomes a minefield..
If he's on the spectrum of autism its going to be a challenge. You don't need to be reading into astrology, you need to be really reading into Aspergers. Most of what your big concerns are are typical for people with Aspegers. Even him preferring relationships with older women is typical for men with aspergers. PLEASE READ UP.
Posted by bmoon8Me: 25th April 1973Posted by Taureancosmic
UPDATE:
None of it matters anymore. He called me to say it was over.
He said that I was abusive and treated him badly and that he wouldn't be treated like that again. I truly never was abusive by neurotypical standards (only heated, or argumentative if he was unfair), but he needed calm 100% of the time. He said he didn't love me anymore.
Utterly devastated.
Can you please post your chart and his chart?
If you do not have them, can you please post your dob and his dob?click to expand
Posted by CookieMonster123I don't understand? Sorry, I'm a bit new to all of it.. things were so amazing most of the time, there was so much love. At least I thought so,Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by bmoon8Posted by Taureancosmic
UPDATE:
None of it matters anymore. He called me to say it was over.
He said that I was abusive and treated him badly and that he wouldn't be treated like that again. I truly never was abusive by neurotypical standards (only heated, or argumentative if he was unfair), but he needed calm 100% of the time. He said he didn't love me anymore.
Utterly devastated.
Can you please post your chart and his chart?
If you do not have them, can you please post your dob and his dob?
Me: 25th April 1973
Him: 24th April 1972
It hurts so bad
Venus in taurus with venus in gemini
Runclick to expand
Posted by bmoon8He heard how shocked I was. I asked him if we'd meant anything to him etc, I did show my love AGAIN, even in the presence of his anger and even when he said he didn't love me. I'm SO pathetic. I wished him well at the end, said I hoped his life would be happy, that he would find the right love for him.Posted by Taureancosmic
UPDATE:
None of it matters anymore. He called me to say it was over.
He said that I was abusive and treated him badly and that he wouldn't be treated like that again. I truly never was abusive by neurotypical standards (only heated, or argumentative if he was unfair), but he needed calm 100% of the time. He said he didn't love me anymore.
Utterly devastated.
Just back off entirely from him. Wish him well and say nothing more.click to expand
Posted by bmoon8Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by bmoon8Posted by Taureancosmic
UPDATE:
None of it matters anymore. He called me to say it was over.
He said that I was abusive and treated him badly and that he wouldn't be treated like that again. I truly never was abusive by neurotypical standards (only heated, or argumentative if he was unfair), but he needed calm 100% of the time. He said he didn't love me anymore.
Utterly devastated.
Just back off entirely from him. Wish him well and say nothing more.
He heard how shocked I was. I asked him if we'd meant anything to him etc, I did show my love AGAIN, even in the presence of his anger and even when he said he didn't love me. I'm SO pathetic. I wished him well at the end, said I hoped his life would be happy, that he would find the right love for him.
I will back off entirely. He's broken my heart into pieces. I guess I asked for it. I'm 48, divorced, had a few long termers.... thought he was my true love. How stupid can I get??
You are right... say nothing more.
Yes, keep your self dignity and self respect intact and walk away from him. The chart Synastry looks real good… a lot of compatibility although you had these 2 challenges in the charts.
Looking back, do you see these 2 challenges rearing their head in your relationship?
-49 Opposition Mercury - Uranus
Challenging aspect: They frequently are impatient with each other. If they live together, there may be frequent disputes and tension. They should make an effort not to continually challenge one another's ideas or opinions.
-48 Opposition Saturn - Neptune
Challenging aspect: While the Saturn person can help organize or direct the Neptune person, there may be some resentment.click to expand
Posted by PlowSeasonThanks for the response, honestly means a lot, I'm feeling so shitty. I'm crumbling wreck, I have never been so sad about a lost love, ever. I thought this one was forever.
Jeez that was harsh of him. Definitely best to back off. Taurus can't handle being rushed or backed into a corner. They also get really mad and hold grudges for a long time. Something else could be going on. Give it time. The aspergers probably doesn't help. I see you're a Taurus too. Try not to take it too hard. Its not your fault that he has aspergers and cant handle normal relationship arguments. Everybody fights... On your own, you guys are pretty dumb. I mean you can be really smart and have some really good ideas. You could make a lot of money off Taurus ideas, but tauruses are also incredibly dumb. Like one time I checked a taurus' browser history and in it was "pudding 24/7 near me". Then I closed it and never checked his browser history again. But it really opened my eyes to the difference between our EQs. But yeah, you'll just have to let him go. Revisit in a year if he doesn't come back in a week or two. When Tauruses are that mean, they usually feel bad about it, but idk this one sounds like he might not be all there.
Posted by PlowSeasonYes, its shocking isn't it. He's gotten under my skin... i feel like he's my twin flame. I feel like he's in me.
Thats if you want him to come back. Me personally, I wouldn't stay with someone who seriously accused you of being abusive. People like that will bring a whole mess of problems into your life.
Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by PlowSeason
Thats if you want him to come back. Me personally, I wouldn't stay with someone who seriously accused you of being abusive. People like that will bring a whole mess of problems into your life.
Yes, its shocking isn't it. He's gotten under my skin... i feel like he's my twin flame. I feel like he's in me.
Or maybe he's a karmic? I'm reading up on this stuff as I'm new to it all.click to expand
Posted by TruemaraYou are right. I was never allowed to express my self. If i did, and it was anything above a calm monotone voice, I was accused of flying into a rage, or being dramatic or hysterical. My friends all know me to be patient and calm 99% of the time. Yes, I raised my voice, became passionate. Do Aspies have no empathy? He often felt sorry for people, or animals. Even his ex, he could still empathise sometimes. He told me at the end, he'd never let anyone abuse him like I did, that he did not feel safe. This crushed me. He said he would NOT take any of the blame for any of it.Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by PlowSeason
Thats if you want him to come back. Me personally, I wouldn't stay with someone who seriously accused you of being abusive. People like that will bring a whole mess of problems into your life.
Yes, its shocking isn't it. He's gotten under my skin... i feel like he's my twin flame. I feel like he's in me.
Or maybe he's a karmic? I'm reading up on this stuff as I'm new to it all.
This is asperger it will never get better. You will never be allowed to express yourself. You’ll be walking on eggshells better he did this now than in years ahead. Aspires have no empathy no convincing otherwise. He says it’s over. It is over.click to expand
Posted by PlowSeasonPosted by TaureancosmicPosted by TruemaraPosted by TaureancosmicPosted by PlowSeason
Thats if you want him to come back. Me personally, I wouldn't stay with someone who seriously accused you of being abusive. People like that will bring a whole mess of problems into your life.
Yes, its shocking isn't it. He's gotten under my skin... i feel like he's my twin flame. I feel like he's in me.
Or maybe he's a karmic? I'm reading up on this stuff as I'm new to it all.
This is asperger it will never get better. You will never be allowed to express yourself. You’ll be walking on eggshells better he did this now than in years ahead. Aspires have no empathy no convincing otherwise. He says it’s over. It is over.
You are right. I was never allowed to express my self. If i did, and it was anything above a calm monotone voice, I was accused of flying into a rage, or being dramatic or hysterical. My friends all know me to be patient and calm 99% of the time. Yes, I raised my voice, became passionate. Do Aspies have no empathy? He often felt sorry for people, or animals. Even his ex, he could still empathise sometimes. He told me at the end, he'd never let anyone abuse him like I did, that he did not feel safe. This crushed me. He said he would NOT take any of the blame for any of it.
I literally laid myself bare to him, gave him my heart, we wrote to each other for 10 months before meeting ever day, then speaking every day. Its such a tragic love story I almost can't believe it.
Everything you're saying is all classic signs of a sociopath. The good you saw was probably not real.click to expand
Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by TruemaraPosted by TaureancosmicPosted by PlowSeason
Thats if you want him to come back. Me personally, I wouldn't stay with someone who seriously accused you of being abusive. People like that will bring a whole mess of problems into your life.
Yes, its shocking isn't it. He's gotten under my skin... i feel like he's my twin flame. I feel like he's in me.
Or maybe he's a karmic? I'm reading up on this stuff as I'm new to it all.
This is asperger it will never get better. You will never be allowed to express yourself. You’ll be walking on eggshells better he did this now than in years ahead. Aspires have no empathy no convincing otherwise. He says it’s over. It is over.
You are right. I was never allowed to express my self. If i did, and it was anything above a calm monotone voice, I was accused of flying into a rage, or being dramatic or hysterical. My friends all know me to be patient and calm 99% of the time. Yes, I raised my voice, became passionate. Do Aspies have no empathy? He often felt sorry for people, or animals. Even his ex, he could still empathise sometimes. He told me at the end, he'd never let anyone abuse him like I did, that he did not feel safe. This crushed me. He said he would NOT take any of the blame for any of it.
I literally laid myself bare to him, gave him my heart, we wrote to each other for 10 months before meeting ever day, then speaking every day. Its such a tragic love story I almost can't believe it.click to expand
Posted by bmoon8You just made me cry. I feel so ugly and unwanted right now. I gave him the best of my everything, the best of my love, I worshipped him, cooked when tired, listened to his weird infatuations of his PC and car, I loved his quirky habits that others said were weird. If it wasn't good enough for him, how could I be good enough for anyone else?Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by bmoon8Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by bmoon8Posted by Taureancosmic
UPDATE:
None of it matters anymore. He called me to say it was over.
He said that I was abusive and treated him badly and that he wouldn't be treated like that again. I truly never was abusive by neurotypical standards (only heated, or argumentative if he was unfair), but he needed calm 100% of the time. He said he didn't love me anymore.
Utterly devastated.
Just back off entirely from him. Wish him well and say nothing more.
He heard how shocked I was. I asked him if we'd meant anything to him etc, I did show my love AGAIN, even in the presence of his anger and even when he said he didn't love me. I'm SO pathetic. I wished him well at the end, said I hoped his life would be happy, that he would find the right love for him.
I will back off entirely. He's broken my heart into pieces. I guess I asked for it. I'm 48, divorced, had a few long termers.... thought he was my true love. How stupid can I get??
You are right... say nothing more.
Yes, keep your self dignity and self respect intact and walk away from him. The chart Synastry looks real good… a lot of compatibility although you had these 2 challenges in the charts.
Looking back, do you see these 2 challenges rearing their head in your relationship?
-49 Opposition Mercury - Uranus
Challenging aspect: They frequently are impatient with each other. If they live together, there may be frequent disputes and tension. They should make an effort not to continually challenge one another's ideas or opinions.
-48 Opposition Saturn - Neptune
Challenging aspect: While the Saturn person can help organize or direct the Neptune person, there may be some resentment.
Yes, compatible in SO many ways. He has been in a marriage for 25 years, and his example of a good relationship is not a good one... He is really REALLY difficult to navigate sometimes (Aspergers), but I love him the same, and would have walked through fire for him. So compatible its heart breaking. He doesn't realise it as his experience is SO limited.
The challenging aspect of being impatient with each other is definitely true. Happened all the time, him being impatient with me mostly. He would go from placid and calm to full on anger. He would often wait to get angry (we'd have an argument at weekend while he was with me, seemingly get over it, then 3 days later kick off saying that I'd been abusive or behaved disgustingly). Most of the time he was kind and gentle.
What was the reason his marriage ended?
Sounds like he was the abusive one and he put that on you. He then broke up with you because maybe he felt you would break up with him. I find that with some men… they will say that you are or not being some way that they are guilty of feeling.
You sound like a catch for the right person.click to expand
Posted by PlowSeasonPosted by TaureancosmicPosted by TruemaraPosted by TaureancosmicPosted by PlowSeason
Thats if you want him to come back. Me personally, I wouldn't stay with someone who seriously accused you of being abusive. People like that will bring a whole mess of problems into your life.
Yes, its shocking isn't it. He's gotten under my skin... i feel like he's my twin flame. I feel like he's in me.
Or maybe he's a karmic? I'm reading up on this stuff as I'm new to it all.
This is asperger it will never get better. You will never be allowed to express yourself. You’ll be walking on eggshells better he did this now than in years ahead. Aspires have no empathy no convincing otherwise. He says it’s over. It is over.
You are right. I was never allowed to express my self. If i did, and it was anything above a calm monotone voice, I was accused of flying into a rage, or being dramatic or hysterical. My friends all know me to be patient and calm 99% of the time. Yes, I raised my voice, became passionate. Do Aspies have no empathy? He often felt sorry for people, or animals. Even his ex, he could still empathise sometimes. He told me at the end, he'd never let anyone abuse him like I did, that he did not feel safe. This crushed me. He said he would NOT take any of the blame for any of it.
I literally laid myself bare to him, gave him my heart, we wrote to each other for 10 months before meeting ever day, then speaking every day. Its such a tragic love story I almost can't believe it.
Everything you're saying is all classic signs of a sociopath. The good you saw was probably not real.click to expand
Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by bmoon8Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by bmoon8Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by bmoon8Posted by Taureancosmic
UPDATE:
None of it matters anymore. He called me to say it was over.
He said that I was abusive and treated him badly and that he wouldn't be treated like that again. I truly never was abusive by neurotypical standards (only heated, or argumentative if he was unfair), but he needed calm 100% of the time. He said he didn't love me anymore.
Utterly devastated.
Just back off entirely from him. Wish him well and say nothing more.
He heard how shocked I was. I asked him if we'd meant anything to him etc, I did show my love AGAIN, even in the presence of his anger and even when he said he didn't love me. I'm SO pathetic. I wished him well at the end, said I hoped his life would be happy, that he would find the right love for him.
I will back off entirely. He's broken my heart into pieces. I guess I asked for it. I'm 48, divorced, had a few long termers.... thought he was my true love. How stupid can I get??
You are right... say nothing more.
Yes, keep your self dignity and self respect intact and walk away from him. The chart Synastry looks real good… a lot of compatibility although you had these 2 challenges in the charts.
Looking back, do you see these 2 challenges rearing their head in your relationship?
-49 Opposition Mercury - Uranus
Challenging aspect: They frequently are impatient with each other. If they live together, there may be frequent disputes and tension. They should make an effort not to continually challenge one another's ideas or opinions.
-48 Opposition Saturn - Neptune
Challenging aspect: While the Saturn person can help organize or direct the Neptune person, there may be some resentment.
Yes, compatible in SO many ways. He has been in a marriage for 25 years, and his example of a good relationship is not a good one... He is really REALLY difficult to navigate sometimes (Aspergers), but I love him the same, and would have walked through fire for him. So compatible its heart breaking. He doesn't realise it as his experience is SO limited.
The challenging aspect of being impatient with each other is definitely true. Happened all the time, him being impatient with me mostly. He would go from placid and calm to full on anger. He would often wait to get angry (we'd have an argument at weekend while he was with me, seemingly get over it, then 3 days later kick off saying that I'd been abusive or behaved disgustingly). Most of the time he was kind and gentle.
What was the reason his marriage ended?
Sounds like he was the abusive one and he put that on you. He then broke up with you because maybe he felt you would break up with him. I find that with some men… they will say that you are or not being some way that they are guilty of feeling.
You sound like a catch for the right person.
You just made me cry. I feel so ugly and unwanted right now. I gave him the best of my everything, the best of my love, I worshipped him, cooked when tired, listened to his weird infatuations of his PC and car, I loved his quirky habits that others said were weird. If it wasn't good enough for him, how could I be good enough for anyone else?
I know I sound depressive, I guess I am. It only just happened an hour or two ago. I'm blessed that you guys have been so kind to me. Thank you.
He was never abusive, just unfair, inexperienced in relationships (we had lots of arguments over silly things that I slowly came to realise was Aspergers. I only found out it was Aspergers 10 months ago, and have been trying to navigate and change myself to fit and adapt to him).
His marriage... he married at 26, she was 46. He was painfully shy and inexperienced (and now I realise had Aspergers). They married, had twins. 10 years later, she retired. He said thats when it started going wrong. They separated for 1 year (9 years ago). Then got together again, made a go of it. She finished it 3 years ago. They have been living in same house. He didn't want to leave until kids at university. I understood all this. She is a cancer ian, aged 69 now. Probably like a mother figure? He said he wasnt sure why it ended, they never communicated, he said she didn't speak much.
We wrote for 3-4 times a day for 10 months, then in a solid relationship (saw him every weekend, spoke everyday) for last 14 months. I integrated him into my home, with my son, my family, and recently on our first 10 day holiday with my friends abroad. I obviously did not get integrated into his life. But I was ok. I'm so shocked at his brutality of cutting me off the way his has, and saying that he would never get treated like that again. He's said things like that to me before, but we always worked it out. He said its like being married to someone and 360 days of the year, things are great. But 5 days a year they beat you up. That was his comparison.
He definitely tried to blame me for stuff, and say I was being abusive, when he'd done something wrong. I could take this, as we worked through.
I guess not this time. He literally kicked me into the gutter, like I was nothing to him. He said I had once been everything to him.click to expand
Posted by The_Spirit_of_Alex_TrebekYes, thats what I think... think its the Aspergers.
Everything you've posted are symptoms of Aspergers. Its not your fault. It just is what it is.
Posted by bmoon8I know, I have a bucket of tears waiting to flood my bedroom when my son goes to bed. I will cry a river tonight, and maybe drown. I know this is just one guy, I know you're right. I guess I gave him my heart, my soul. Honestly, his actions most of the time were full of integrity. He is a good man, with some difficulties, and heart goes out to him.Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by bmoon8Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by bmoon8Posted by TaureancosmicPosted by bmoon8Posted by Taureancosmic
UPDATE:
None of it matters anymore. He called me to say it was over.
He said that I was abusive and treated him badly and that he wouldn't be treated like that again. I truly never was abusive by neurotypical standards (only heated, or argumentative if he was unfair), but he needed calm 100% of the time. He said he didn't love me anymore.
Utterly devastated.
Just back off entirely from him. Wish him well and say nothing more.
He heard how shocked I was. I asked him if we'd meant anything to him etc, I did show my love AGAIN, even in the presence of his anger and even when he said he didn't love me. I'm SO pathetic. I wished him well at the end, said I hoped his life would be happy, that he would find the right love for him.
I will back off entirely. He's broken my heart into pieces. I guess I asked for it. I'm 48, divorced, had a few long termers.... thought he was my true love. How stupid can I get??
You are right... say nothing more.
Yes, keep your self dignity and self respect intact and walk away from him. The chart Synastry looks real good… a lot of compatibility although you had these 2 challenges in the charts.
Looking back, do you see these 2 challenges rearing their head in your relationship?
-49 Opposition Mercury - Uranus
Challenging aspect: They frequently are impatient with each other. If they live together, there may be frequent disputes and tension. They should make an effort not to continually challenge one another's ideas or opinions.
-48 Opposition Saturn - Neptune
Challenging aspect: While the Saturn person can help organize or direct the Neptune person, there may be some resentment.
Yes, compatible in SO many ways. He has been in a marriage for 25 years, and his example of a good relationship is not a good one... He is really REALLY difficult to navigate sometimes (Aspergers), but I love him the same, and would have walked through fire for him. So compatible its heart breaking. He doesn't realise it as his experience is SO limited.
The challenging aspect of being impatient with each other is definitely true. Happened all the time, him being impatient with me mostly. He would go from placid and calm to full on anger. He would often wait to get angry (we'd have an argument at weekend while he was with me, seemingly get over it, then 3 days later kick off saying that I'd been abusive or behaved disgustingly). Most of the time he was kind and gentle.
What was the reason his marriage ended?
Sounds like he was the abusive one and he put that on you. He then broke up with you because maybe he felt you would break up with him. I find that with some men… they will say that you are or not being some way that they are guilty of feeling.
You sound like a catch for the right person.
You just made me cry. I feel so ugly and unwanted right now. I gave him the best of my everything, the best of my love, I worshipped him, cooked when tired, listened to his weird infatuations of his PC and car, I loved his quirky habits that others said were weird. If it wasn't good enough for him, how could I be good enough for anyone else?
I know I sound depressive, I guess I am. It only just happened an hour or two ago. I'm blessed that you guys have been so kind to me. Thank you.
He was never abusive, just unfair, inexperienced in relationships (we had lots of arguments over silly things that I slowly came to realise was Aspergers. I only found out it was Aspergers 10 months ago, and have been trying to navigate and change myself to fit and adapt to him).
His marriage... he married at 26, she was 46. He was painfully shy and inexperienced (and now I realise had Aspergers). They married, had twins. 10 years later, she retired. He said thats when it started going wrong. They separated for 1 year (9 years ago). Then got together again, made a go of it. She finished it 3 years ago. They have been living in same house. He didn't want to leave until kids at university. I understood all this. She is a cancer ian, aged 69 now. Probably like a mother figure? He said he wasnt sure why it ended, they never communicated, he said she didn't speak much.
We wrote for 3-4 times a day for 10 months, then in a solid relationship (saw him every weekend, spoke everyday) for last 14 months. I integrated him into my home, with my son, my family, and recently on our first 10 day holiday with my friends abroad. I obviously did not get integrated into his life. But I was ok. I'm so shocked at his brutality of cutting me off the way his has, and saying that he would never get treated like that again. He's said things like that to me before, but we always worked it out. He said its like being married to someone and 360 days of the year, things are great. But 5 days a year they beat you up. That was his comparison.
He definitely tried to blame me for stuff, and say I was being abusive, when he'd done something wrong. I could take this, as we worked through.
I guess not this time. He literally kicked me into the gutter, like I was nothing to him. He said I had once been everything to him.
I did not mean to make you cry, but maybe a good cry will do you good. To put this in perspective, this is just one guy out of how many? You gave him your all and did he appreciate it? Look at his actions, not his words. People always say nice things and can tell you what you want to hear… it’s their actions that will tell you everything.click to expand
Posted by TruemaraYes, I originally thought he was narcissistic and then the Aspie thing slowly came out. It came from him, but took a long time.
Aspire display a lot of narcissism behavior
a healthy relationship requires a lot of forgiveness. They can be unforgiving
Posted by The_Spirit_of_Alex_TrebekPosted by TaureancosmicPosted by The_Spirit_of_Alex_Trebek
Everything you've posted are symptoms of Aspergers. Its not your fault. It just is what it is.
Yes, thats what I think... think its the Aspergers.
The thing that upsets me, is that I said I was trying and he said he disagreed, that I had not tried at all. But he didn't give me the time to learn and adapt to him, to understand his ways and needs. I would have done it. It upsets me that he thought I wasn't worth the work, the working it out as we always did.
I understand it hurts now, but I think you're going to be alright. I think everything is going to work out just fine for you.click to expand
Posted by AgentP911I know how it sounds, I guess I have written up all his bad points on here. He was amazing with my son. He helped him build a whole PC together, he spent time with him. Acted like his father (my son has no father, am a lone parent). My son loves him. Truly, its the Aspergers, he breaks my heart as I would've given him the world, and worked at the relationship.
I'm really sorry but this guy sounds like a complete cunt. His behaviour is appalling and resembles a narcissistic sociopath yet it is all conveniently being blamed on him having Aspergers. I'm not buying it.
He may feel like your true love but from what I have read in your thread this is NOT true love. I don't think it is a good idea for him to remain in contact with your son.
Posted by TruemaraWow, to be honest I did get on a forum. There was a mixed bunch of responses... some said the same as you. Others said they loved there Aspie husbands, that they were amazing. I guess there are varying degrees of Aspergers? I see what you mean about health, ''it doesn't matter how you got stabbed, the end result is the same; bleeding'... I already have health and autoimmune issues.
Aspberger, sociopath narcissist the behavior is all the same n does the same harm. Years ago I join a group of women who dated aspies. You should the the damage these women n what they had to deal. Health deteriorated, came out with auto immune issues, cancer with zero support from aspies. Most recommended any new relationships to run.
Do your research of people who date aspies.
Posted by Truemara
Aspberger, sociopath narcissist the behavior is all the same n does the same harm. Years ago I join a group of women who dated aspies. You should the the damage these women n what they had to deal. Health deteriorated, came out with auto immune issues, cancer with zero support from aspies. Most recommended any new relationships to run.
Do your research of people who date aspies.
Posted by alexscariesThat sounds like usual for those who arent aspie but insexure boys.
I know someone who had an AS boyfriend he made a homeless. What did she do? The big crime of having male friends on Facebook.
Posted by alexscariesI mean regarless if it aspie or nt, been hearing it a lot of non asie guys.Posted by MrNobodyPosted by alexscaries
I know someone who had an AS boyfriend he made a homeless. What did she do? The big crime of having male friends on Facebook.
That sounds like usual for those who arent aspie but insexure boys.
I heard it from her. Insecure and he attended AS groups so I'm presuming not pretending.click to expand
Posted by alexscariesThat I agreePosted by MrNobodyPosted by alexscariesPosted by MrNobodyPosted by alexscaries
I know someone who had an AS boyfriend he made a homeless. What did she do? The big crime of having male friends on Facebook.
That sounds like usual for those who arent aspie but insexure boys.
I heard it from her. Insecure and he attended AS groups so I'm presuming not pretending.
I mean regarless if it aspie or nt, been hearing it a lot of non asie guys.
Huge difference between making someone homeless and having a spat. The guy is a total arsehole regardless. Small dick energy all round in this case.click to expand