M!ss Karma, I just read your other thread. I'm confused - there you said you didn't want to be with him as a gf right away, but here you're saying this was always meant to be a jumpoff situation. It just seemed like in your other thread, you wanted to chill with him and see where it went but here you're saying it was always about the ass? Sorry if I am misinterpreting what you are saying.
It's funny, but I used to think that when people said to get busy with your own stuff and not think about (insert name of shitty-acting guy), it was just bullshit. I'm an Aries and I want what I want RIGHT FUCKING NOW. But it really does work. I've been getting out there, meeting people, redoing my apartment, working, chilling, just trying to do me, and he's been coming slowly around. One week is awesome, Ferdy. Build on that. You can do it! You're a Taurus, just lower those horns and charge forward. If he's lucky, when and if he chooses to stop acting like a Grade A asshole, you MIGHT give him another look.
Hang in there, Ferdy. I'm not out of the woods and I'm just trying to chill on mine. Newbie should write a book on how to handle wayward Scorpios. I followed her advice and since learned that mine made the whole story about fucking his Gem ex up o get back at me because the last time he was at my place he snooped (yes, he used that word!) in my medicine cabinet and found birth control pills, so he assumed I must be fucking someone else. He also called me four times in a row last Saturday after I was tagged on Facebook looking like FIYAH at a party. He texted me later that it was nice of "my boyfriend" to take me out on the town. Note, there were no men of any sort in the pics and it was, in fact, a girl's night out.
Hee, some Scorps are so transparent.
But, as evidenced by Newbie's list, soooo beautiful. *sighs*
Newb, my Scorp falls within the second decan. He's tall to me - 5'10, I'm 5'3 - his legs are not bowed, but he does have a squarish look to him. He's a former collegiate athlete and very muscular. He also has big, gorgeous eyes and a prominent nose. When I first saw him, I was amazed at how beautiful he was.
Well, the Scorp is back. He pursued me for a week and half about a week after he sent the infamous letter, which I ill-advisedly posted here and deleted. Finally, I agreed to a talk and he said he just felt in his life right now he couldn't be the man he wanted to be and that in the weeks leading up to his writing me the letter, he felt like he was close to losing complete control. This was all well and good. He told me after he wrote the letter he felt better for about a day but when I didn't respond to him, he started worrying that he'd sent the "wrong message." He said he then fell into a deep depression during which he started drinking, got really sick, told off his family (he's been having some issues with his dad), and fucked his Gem ex - the one who broke up with him by texting him a picture of her with some other guy's dick in her mouth.
He said in that time, he realized he couldn't be what I needed, but he needed to know if I'd wait for him. He said he had no right to ask that but he was miserable and unhappy and had to take the chance. I told him to get out and go fuck his ex some more. He got angry, saying that we weren't even together at that point so he was a free agent and able to fuck whomever he pleases. I told him this was absolutely true, but that I knew he'd go crazy if he thought or suspected I'd fucked around during this "break" (I haven't). He said, "Well, yea, if I thought you were up on other dudes I would've just cut it short." He said it was a difference, because he didn't fuck the Gem because he loved her - he did it because she was there and he knew she didn't give a shit about him and so he could attach no feelings to the act. I said that it wasn't so much that he did it, but who it was with - I said it'd be like me fucking my Pisces ex who lied like his tongue was on fire. Once I know a guy disrespects me, I'm not getting wet for him again. How he could get it up for a woman who actually sent him a picture of her deep-throating another dude just baffles me, seriously.
I still told him to get his ass out of my sight. He told me that he was being honest with me and that I needed to forgive him for the thing with the Gem. I again asked him to get out, and he finally did.
He has called 5 times since then and texted literally about 20 times. The last text was - "I thought u were the one, guess not." More Scorp theatrics, I suppose. He screws with a woman who openly disrespected him and I'm the one who is wrong? Oh hell no
Scorp_rising, I'd like to hear some of those pointers. I'm a Virgo asc. and I do identify with some of Ms.Aristocracy's problems, though I don't tend to keep my focus on "outlier" men that long.
I get a random text from On-Hiatus-Again Scorp guy:
"You look kinda thick when you wear purple."
I'm wearing a purple dress today. WHERE THE HELL WAS HE, is he stalking me now?
I don't know whether to be turned on or scared, but I'm heading out to dinner with my girlfriends to get my mind off it, lol!
Aries,
I'm an Aries, too, in love with a Scorpio man. I came here for advice. Let me tell you something, and this is Aries to Aries.
Listen to what people are telling you here. You're frustrated because you can't manipulate this man, period.
We're good at that, we Aries. It's our MO. The men are clumsy at it, but the women, whoo, we can get a man wrapped around our finger tout de suite. And if he proves difficult or disappointing, we just dip. It's that simple. And you are mad as HELL that Scorpio guy isn't falling in line.
Guess what? He knows you're mad. Guess what else? He couldn't give a fuck.
It's not that he doesn't care about YOU. It's just that these are issues, to HIM, that are not a big deal. He wants to go out with his buddies drinking. It's not about you. It's about him wanting to go out with his buddies. The bday thing is a little iffy, I admit, but did you ever let him slide on that? Better still, did you tell him about it and then continue to do nice things for him when you were still pissed as hell over it? Probably, right? See, they can spot that kind of stuff, the "kill em with kindness" type of thing, and that's turns 'em right off. I have learned that if you're mad with them, tell them in that moment. Don't try to smooth it over because at best, they won't see you as genuine and at worst, they'll see you as a doormat.
It's tough. We're impatient and we really do think we're entitled. I can firmly admit that to myself. But we're not and patience does have it's place if you think it/he's worth it. If you don't, he will respect you if you bounce, trust me. Otherwise, he'll keep tossing out those crumbs to you while keeping an eye out for the girl that can deal with him, sit her ass down and realize it is NOT all about her.
I wish you well. I think I ran off a good Scorp because I didn't know the deal, but I think every cloud has a silver lining. Since meeting him, I've become much less self-absorbed and more cognizant of when I try to manipulate events and people to my benefit and I'm trying to clip that. I hold out hope that he's watching from afar to see if I walk the walk, but I know that in any case, I'm a better person for that experience, and if you play your cards right, you will be, too. Good luck!