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Cancerian87 joined July 29, 2017
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Posted by Moonbutter
Posted by Cancerian87
Posted by Moonbutter
Posted by Cancerian87
Posted by carrazeda
I hate to say this and I hope I'm wrong but I think that he just used you. He wanted to have a nice time for his bday and you were available for that. I'm not the typical cancer, but if I'm interested in someone you will now. I'll always initiate conversation and I'll shower you with attention and wanting to meet you. But if I'm not that interested I do exactly what he is doing. Keeping you around because he might want to see you again (in between the other dates he is having). But I don't think he got interested in progressing to another level. Good that you confronted him. If he felt anything he'll came back to you. If he don't or if he deflects again saying he is busy, you'll know where he stands.
Im thinking the same thing and hope it's not true Sad Either way my text to him is pretty clear about what I'm looking for so I guess we will know soon.

You all have been amazing with the responses, thank you!

Either way... you are stronger then before this and wiser
Yea, I'm still hoping he will though.. since my last relationship I've been dating but I haven't been able to feel a connection with someone until now. He just had something different, you know?

What type of connection did you feel?
click to expand
@Moonbutter I sent you a private message, did you get it? It said sent successfully but doesn't show in my outbox.
Posted by carrazeda
I hate to say this and I hope I'm wrong but I think that he just used you. He wanted to have a nice time for his bday and you were available for that. I'm not the typical cancer, but if I'm interested in someone you will now. I'll always initiate conversation and I'll shower you with attention and wanting to meet you. But if I'm not that interested I do exactly what he is doing. Keeping you around because he might want to see you again (in between the other dates he is having). But I don't think he got interested in progressing to another level. Good that you confronted him. If he felt anything he'll came back to you. If he don't or if he deflects again saying he is busy, you'll know where he stands.
Im thinking the same thing and hope it's not true Sad Either way my text to him is pretty clear about what I'm looking for so I guess we will know soon.

You all have been amazing with the responses, thank you!

Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Cancerian87
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Cancerian87
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Cancerian87
I am a cancer sun myself so I understand what it's like but can't figure out he's just being crabby or not interested.. he is Cancer sun/Aqua moon. I am cancer sun/sag moon..

So I met him on a online dating website. We exchanged number and texted each other for a week or so.. His bday weekend was coming up and the same weekend I had my friends bday party to go to.. He asked if we can meet up and celebrate the bdays together. I said yes.. Later that night we met, and had an amazing time and we kissed. We parted ways and texted me asking if I got home safe and even spoke on phone for few minutes. Next morning he texted me and asked me for brunch. I said yes. Met him for brunch, we ate a lot of food and really enjoyed ourselves. He asked me to spend the day with him and again, I said yes. We went to his place, picked up his dog and spent the day at the park. Then went back to his place watched some TV. He made pizza and had some wine. We slept together that night and next morning I went to work. He texted me an hour later confirming if I got to work okay and thanked me for "not making his bday suck". I told him I really enjoyed time with him and glad he did too..

Not after that, he never texted me. I waited a week and texted him. He texted back hours later telling me how he just got home, he was out of town for a wedding for four days.. Since then he has been texting me but barely and sometimes he texts back the next day. He said work has kept him really busy but who is too busy to text back that late. I texted back sorry he had a rough day and wish tomorrow is better. He responded later in the evening saying no it was still really busy. I felt like he wasn't interested and maybe it was just a one night thing for him. So I decided not to text him back. Figured he will text if he's still interested. So the next day he texted me asking how my week is going. He texted me a few times then and now again, no response. In the last week we've texted he has not tried to ask me out again either.

I just don't know what's on his mind. I like him and want to date him but now it's been 2 weeks since I saw him. Am I just wasting my time or do I need to wait this out? I'm a cancer myself so I know how it is. But I don't know how to put myself out there without any confirmation that he wants the same. Please help and thank you smile
Have you tried asking HIM out? Sounds to me that he put in a lot of footwork. Maybe he thinks it's your turn. Which is fair.

I'm very nervous to make the move, I have never asked guys out. Not because I think I'm all that, only because I'm scared of being rejected. I asked him out today, waiting on his response.

GOOD smile.. Im a cancer. Im a lesbian. And when I ask a girl out all the time with no reciprocation it gets me in deep shit. ESPECIALLY after intimacy. He could be feeling very insecure and prideful at the same time. Thats How I get. But from the earlier part of the story it sounds like he was interested in you. What was it that you said when you asked him out. Did you text him or call him?

OMG I'm a cancer too and that's exactly How I think. Scared he won't reciprocate now that we have been intimate. I usually hold off for a long time so I don't get my feeling hurt but I felt such a connect with him I just went for it. From earlier part I didn't have doubts about him being interested, but now I do because he's distant. I waited a week for him to get in touch with me after our date. He didn't So I texted him. Since then he responds but ever so lightly. Then when I feel like he's just not interested I stop responding as much and he talks more and then goes back in his shell again. Its so hard to decipher his thoughts. Though Ive been burnt in the past so i always think a guy will use me and leave me. I can never tell...

But I texted him today and said I had a great time with him and would like to get to know him more and asked when he's available. No response.. I wouldn't call him because after we were figuring out plans I called him and he said no one calls him except his family. I asked him it bothered him and he said no it's a compliment that I'm old fashioned. But I don't know if he meant that so did not want to call lol Also if he didn't pick up I'd be really hurt and my mind would run god knows where lol

I think I'm missing something here. Did you ask him out or not?. So listen. Imma let you in on a little secret real quick. Because it may help you. Iv gone through a year of extreme self reflection. Half of which includes my dating life. I started out heart on sleeve open. Knowing those consequences. To the complete extreme opposite of playing games which in turn... you guessed it.. also didn't pan out so well. HOWEVER. Through my drastic change from played to player.. to now indifferent. I can tell you that Iv learned a lot about psychology and specifically on the realm of astrology. And how everything is relative. And everyone perceives things differently. Listen. I'm not AT ALL suggesting you do what I did. Matter of fact. I'm suggesting you don't attempt it at all. And simply learn from the knowledge Iv gotten through my mistakes. That are still ongoing. I'm not perfect AT ALL. But Iv learned. And I can tell you ? that if dude isn't messaging you after sex. It's because he wants you to message him. That if he wasn't interested. He would do something ever so classic for a text book "ghoster".. and that is message you ASAP to tell you he had a "lovely time" as to get that out of the way so that he doesn't have to think about hurting you and that his conscious is cleared. I can also tell you that when he is being distant when you text him.. and you back off.. and he chooses to than CONTINUE the conversation.. even if he's saying virtually nothing of substance. That means that he wants to keep talking to you. And YES I could very well be wrong about all of this. But this is just from my experience after all. If I don't like someone. And they back off through text. I'm relieved. And I also back off. PERIOD.

Actions speak. Remember that.

Try what I do.. which is putting your self in his shoes. It's weird. But it works. When you are about to do something.. think.. "how would I feel if I was getting these types of vibes?"

Good? Bad? Indifferent?

In the end of the day. Being genuine works. It does. You are both cancers. And you are playing the classic game of "feelings chicken". Who's gonna break first. I'm not saying profess your love. I'm just saying.. i would call him. And ask to hang out. And there will lie your answer.

click to expand
Thank you so much for this answer. Your advice was soo good, I really appreciate you taking out time to share your experience and wisdom smile What you're saying is what I want to think, but scared I just have my rose colored glasses on.. I think you're right though, he wouldn't continue to text me if he wasn't interested. I've been thinking both ways.. maybe he likes me or maybe he's just being nice. After all, he's a cancer.

To answer your question, I did text him. I told him I had a great time with him last time and want to get to know him more. I even said I'd like to meet up soon and asked when he's free. This is not my personality at all, to sleep with someone this early or to ask them out. He read my message within minutes but didn't respond. How should I take that? I feel like I'm trying the most Sad

Posted by Moonbutter
Try giving him an idea of what you want to do... like soo.. I was thinking we could grab dinner and a movie or see if he wants to go to a festival with you... or picnic.. you get the idea lol
Well I don't know anymore.. he read my message within minutes but didn't respond. Maybe I was just a one night thing go him Sad
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Cancerian87
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Cancerian87
I am a cancer sun myself so I understand what it's like but can't figure out he's just being crabby or not interested.. he is Cancer sun/Aqua moon. I am cancer sun/sag moon..

So I met him on a online dating website. We exchanged number and texted each other for a week or so.. His bday weekend was coming up and the same weekend I had my friends bday party to go to.. He asked if we can meet up and celebrate the bdays together. I said yes.. Later that night we met, and had an amazing time and we kissed. We parted ways and texted me asking if I got home safe and even spoke on phone for few minutes. Next morning he texted me and asked me for brunch. I said yes. Met him for brunch, we ate a lot of food and really enjoyed ourselves. He asked me to spend the day with him and again, I said yes. We went to his place, picked up his dog and spent the day at the park. Then went back to his place watched some TV. He made pizza and had some wine. We slept together that night and next morning I went to work. He texted me an hour later confirming if I got to work okay and thanked me for "not making his bday suck". I told him I really enjoyed time with him and glad he did too..

Not after that, he never texted me. I waited a week and texted him. He texted back hours later telling me how he just got home, he was out of town for a wedding for four days.. Since then he has been texting me but barely and sometimes he texts back the next day. He said work has kept him really busy but who is too busy to text back that late. I texted back sorry he had a rough day and wish tomorrow is better. He responded later in the evening saying no it was still really busy. I felt like he wasn't interested and maybe it was just a one night thing for him. So I decided not to text him back. Figured he will text if he's still interested. So the next day he texted me asking how my week is going. He texted me a few times then and now again, no response. In the last week we've texted he has not tried to ask me out again either.

I just don't know what's on his mind. I like him and want to date him but now it's been 2 weeks since I saw him. Am I just wasting my time or do I need to wait this out? I'm a cancer myself so I know how it is. But I don't know how to put myself out there without any confirmation that he wants the same. Please help and thank you smile
Have you tried asking HIM out? Sounds to me that he put in a lot of footwork. Maybe he thinks it's your turn. Which is fair.

I'm very nervous to make the move, I have never asked guys out. Not because I think I'm all that, only because I'm scared of being rejected. I asked him out today, waiting on his response.

GOOD smile.. Im a cancer. Im a lesbian. And when I ask a girl out all the time with no reciprocation it gets me in deep shit. ESPECIALLY after intimacy. He could be feeling very insecure and prideful at the same time. Thats How I get. But from the earlier part of the story it sounds like he was interested in you. What was it that you said when you asked him out. Did you text him or call him?

click to expand
OMG I'm a cancer too and that's exactly How I think. Scared he won't reciprocate now that we have been intimate. I usually hold off for a long time so I don't get my feeling hurt but I felt such a connect with him I just went for it. From earlier part I didn't have doubts about him being interested, but now I do because he's distant. I waited a week for him to get in touch with me after our date. He didn't So I texted him. Since then he responds but ever so lightly. Then when I feel like he's just not interested I stop responding as much and he talks more and then goes back in his shell again. Its so hard to decipher his thoughts. Though Ive been burnt in the past so i always think a guy will use me and leave me. I can never tell...

But I texted him today and said I had a great time with him and would like to get to know him more and asked when he's available. No response.. I wouldn't call him because after we were figuring out plans I called him and he said no one calls him except his family. I asked him it bothered him and he said no it's a compliment that I'm old fashioned. But I don't know if he meant that so did not want to call lol Also if he didn't pick up I'd be really hurt and my mind would run god knows where lol

Posted by Moonbutter
Posted by Cancerian87
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Cancerian87
I am a cancer sun myself so I understand what it's like but can't figure out he's just being crabby or not interested.. he is Cancer sun/Aqua moon. I am cancer sun/sag moon..

So I met him on a online dating website. We exchanged number and texted each other for a week or so.. His bday weekend was coming up and the same weekend I had my friends bday party to go to.. He asked if we can meet up and celebrate the bdays together. I said yes.. Later that night we met, and had an amazing time and we kissed. We parted ways and texted me asking if I got home safe and even spoke on phone for few minutes. Next morning he texted me and asked me for brunch. I said yes. Met him for brunch, we ate a lot of food and really enjoyed ourselves. He asked me to spend the day with him and again, I said yes. We went to his place, picked up his dog and spent the day at the park. Then went back to his place watched some TV. He made pizza and had some wine. We slept together that night and next morning I went to work. He texted me an hour later confirming if I got to work okay and thanked me for "not making his bday suck". I told him I really enjoyed time with him and glad he did too..

Not after that, he never texted me. I waited a week and texted him. He texted back hours later telling me how he just got home, he was out of town for a wedding for four days.. Since then he has been texting me but barely and sometimes he texts back the next day. He said work has kept him really busy but who is too busy to text back that late. I texted back sorry he had a rough day and wish tomorrow is better. He responded later in the evening saying no it was still really busy. I felt like he wasn't interested and maybe it was just a one night thing for him. So I decided not to text him back. Figured he will text if he's still interested. So the next day he texted me asking how my week is going. He texted me a few times then and now again, no response. In the last week we've texted he has not tried to ask me out again either.

I just don't know what's on his mind. I like him and want to date him but now it's been 2 weeks since I saw him. Am I just wasting my time or do I need to wait this out? I'm a cancer myself so I know how it is. But I don't know how to put myself out there without any confirmation that he wants the same. Please help and thank you smile
Have you tried asking HIM out? Sounds to me that he put in a lot of footwork. Maybe he thinks it's your turn. Which is fair.

I'm very nervous to make the move, I have never asked guys out. Not because I think I'm all that, only because I'm scared of being rejected. I asked him out today, waiting on his response.

Awesome girl! What did you say to him? Let us know as soon he responds ?
click to expand
I told him I had a really nice time on our date and would love to get to know him more and asked when he's free to meet. Eeekkkk!!!!

Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Cancerian87
I am a cancer sun myself so I understand what it's like but can't figure out he's just being crabby or not interested.. he is Cancer sun/Aqua moon. I am cancer sun/sag moon..

So I met him on a online dating website. We exchanged number and texted each other for a week or so.. His bday weekend was coming up and the same weekend I had my friends bday party to go to.. He asked if we can meet up and celebrate the bdays together. I said yes.. Later that night we met, and had an amazing time and we kissed. We parted ways and texted me asking if I got home safe and even spoke on phone for few minutes. Next morning he texted me and asked me for brunch. I said yes. Met him for brunch, we ate a lot of food and really enjoyed ourselves. He asked me to spend the day with him and again, I said yes. We went to his place, picked up his dog and spent the day at the park. Then went back to his place watched some TV. He made pizza and had some wine. We slept together that night and next morning I went to work. He texted me an hour later confirming if I got to work okay and thanked me for "not making his bday suck". I told him I really enjoyed time with him and glad he did too..

Not after that, he never texted me. I waited a week and texted him. He texted back hours later telling me how he just got home, he was out of town for a wedding for four days.. Since then he has been texting me but barely and sometimes he texts back the next day. He said work has kept him really busy but who is too busy to text back that late. I texted back sorry he had a rough day and wish tomorrow is better. He responded later in the evening saying no it was still really busy. I felt like he wasn't interested and maybe it was just a one night thing for him. So I decided not to text him back. Figured he will text if he's still interested. So the next day he texted me asking how my week is going. He texted me a few times then and now again, no response. In the last week we've texted he has not tried to ask me out again either.

I just don't know what's on his mind. I like him and want to date him but now it's been 2 weeks since I saw him. Am I just wasting my time or do I need to wait this out? I'm a cancer myself so I know how it is. But I don't know how to put myself out there without any confirmation that he wants the same. Please help and thank you smile
Have you tried asking HIM out? Sounds to me that he put in a lot of footwork. Maybe he thinks it's your turn. Which is fair.

click to expand
I'm very nervous to make the move, I have never asked guys out. Not because I think I'm all that, only because I'm scared of being rejected. I asked him out today, waiting on his response.

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by Cancerian87
I figured the same. I don't mind taking it slow but I'm scared that he may be just keeping my around. He actually texted me today saying he's had a busy week and asking what I'm upto. I don't know how to respond anymore. To be nice or cold.
Be nice idiot
click to expand
Thanks for all your advice, I will take it. But you don't have to be so rude. I'm obviously here because I don't know how to react.

I took your advice Moonbutter, so freaked out now! Being a cancer myself I never make the first move lol I guess it's just a waiting game now. He's either into me or he isn't.
Yea, what I'm trying to say is.. if we barely text and he doesn't ask me out, how can I gain his trust? Should I just be friendly and respond when he techs even when he ignores me for hours? Should I tell him if bothers me when he reaches out and then ignores?
No, I'm genuinely asking.
Any advice on how to break through the barriers? I mean if we never meet up or have a real conversation, how can I really gain his trust on few texts a week? This is all so confusing lol

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