davesbabygirl joined May 14, 2006
50 years old female from London
'Evolved' Libra Lady... Rising Sign - Cancer Sun - Libra Moon - Aries Mercury - Scorpio Venus - Virgo Mars - Libra Jupiter - Pisces Saturn - Cancer Uranus - Libra Neptune - Sagittarius Eros - Gemini Pluto - Libra N.Node - Sagi
'Evolved' Libra Lady... Rising Sign - Cancer Sun - Libra Moon - Aries Mercury - Scorpio Venus - Virgo Mars - Libra Jupiter - Pisces Saturn - Cancer Uranus - Libra Neptune - Sagittarius Eros - Gemini Pluto - Libra N.Node - Sagittarius
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if i wasn't reeling over the demise of my relationship with my Scorp, I would be laughing so hard at this post. But I can't really, as it is a little too close to the truth. I have experienced first hand the Scorpio compulsion to tear down that which they (once?) held dear, only to (perhaps?) build it up again. And the worst part about it is that all I did was love him. Ah well.
i thought no one noticed my post...
on reflection, that statement is probably overly dramatic. i guess i mean that we were always stuck in this recurrent pattern of making up and breaking up. i am trying to break the cycle. i believe in my heart we are right for each other but am trying to understand what is causing this recurrent pattern. is this a part of the scorpio taking 2 steps forward and 12 steps back?
maybe i am just a fool. it's a long story so please feel free to ask questions you consider relevant to understanding the situation
on reflection, that statement is probably overly dramatic. i guess i mean that we were always stuck in this recurrent pattern of making up and breaking up. i am trying to break the cycle. i believe in my heart we are right for each other but am trying to understand what is causing this recurrent pattern. is this a part of the scorpio taking 2 steps forward and 12 steps back?
maybe i am just a fool. it's a long story so please feel free to ask questions you consider relevant to understanding the situation
My other half and I agreed that I would visit him (and stay with him) to get to know each other again. Effectively, we want to make sure that all the feelings and representations made during telephone calls, e-mails etc weren't a figment of our imagination. Sometimes having a significant history can make you feel that something is there that really isn't.
Bearing in mind the Scorp need to control situations etc, he was not happy that I surprised him when I arrived in Fla. He knew I was coming but not when. He said (when I was in London) that he didn't mind being surprised, but, from his reaction (I arranged for his Mom to take him to a restaurant and I met him there) he was a little upset at being taken off guard. He later commented that he wanted to be the one to collect me from the airport. Then, after we had dinner, we went to his place which he was very apologetic about (it wasn't tidy etc/he is living bachelor life etc). I should also mention that we have not physically seen each other in approx 4 years.
Anyway, things gradually made a turn for the worse. He has insisted for the time I stayed with him (I arrived on Thurs 13 July) that we sleep in separate rooms. That hurt initially...there has been intimacy, but more on a romantic level (holding hands, laying on couch together etc). However, I don't know how to feel about the lack of more intimacy...In fairness, it has been a long time for both of us so I imagine it is nerves. Also, over the weekend, he has gradually revealed the answers to me...
1. He feels a little crowded with me being in his space
2. He feels we are trying to make up for years of dating in the normal way too quickly
3. He would like a chance to "romance me"
4. He has said he feels that sex would signify a total commitment and then I would truly have the ability to hurt him
I am now spending some time at my sisters house and will proceed in providing the space I think we need and he has confirmed he needs. Will this work? I don't know..should I feel bad that he has been reluctant to be intimate? Or should I recognise that he is honestly trying to protect his feelings and be 100% sure??
We were passionately in love years ago. It was intense. It damn near destroyed us.
*this was part of a private msg I sent to a friend on the Scorpio board. I am keen to hear what sagsmiles4u thinks about this scenario, as when she describes the 2 steps forward, 12 steps back, sounds too much like us!!
Bearing in mind the Scorp need to control situations etc, he was not happy that I surprised him when I arrived in Fla. He knew I was coming but not when. He said (when I was in London) that he didn't mind being surprised, but, from his reaction (I arranged for his Mom to take him to a restaurant and I met him there) he was a little upset at being taken off guard. He later commented that he wanted to be the one to collect me from the airport. Then, after we had dinner, we went to his place which he was very apologetic about (it wasn't tidy etc/he is living bachelor life etc). I should also mention that we have not physically seen each other in approx 4 years.
Anyway, things gradually made a turn for the worse. He has insisted for the time I stayed with him (I arrived on Thurs 13 July) that we sleep in separate rooms. That hurt initially...there has been intimacy, but more on a romantic level (holding hands, laying on couch together etc). However, I don't know how to feel about the lack of more intimacy...In fairness, it has been a long time for both of us so I imagine it is nerves. Also, over the weekend, he has gradually revealed the answers to me...
1. He feels a little crowded with me being in his space
2. He feels we are trying to make up for years of dating in the normal way too quickly
3. He would like a chance to "romance me"
4. He has said he feels that sex would signify a total commitment and then I would truly have the ability to hurt him
I am now spending some time at my sisters house and will proceed in providing the space I think we need and he has confirmed he needs. Will this work? I don't know..should I feel bad that he has been reluctant to be intimate? Or should I recognise that he is honestly trying to protect his feelings and be 100% sure??
We were passionately in love years ago. It was intense. It damn near destroyed us.
*this was part of a private msg I sent to a friend on the Scorpio board. I am keen to hear what sagsmiles4u thinks about this scenario, as when she describes the 2 steps forward, 12 steps back, sounds too much like us!!
i have been having a very similar experience with "my" scorp (i think it might be over now though...) however I posted the scenario on the Scorpio boards under "Scorpio who won't consummate relationship". I think he has done some of the things that sagsmiles has said happened with her, but in my case i think it is really over. or is he just pushing me away as far as he can? one day he tells me he loves me and wants us to be married, the next day we have a serious emotional drama. I don't know what to think anymore, so I ended it. I will post some of the scenario below as I would be really keen to hear people's thoughts on this...
thanxs, little sparrow :-)
It is not really what I want to hear, but I know it is the truth...the truth hurts.
lots of love to you too.
ps - I'm like you...the baby talk does NOTHING for me either (lol). He (and perhaps your Scorp) misses the point entirely: I will be with him whether there are children involved or not.
It is not really what I want to hear, but I know it is the truth...the truth hurts.
lots of love to you too.
ps - I'm like you...the baby talk does NOTHING for me either (lol). He (and perhaps your Scorp) misses the point entirely: I will be with him whether there are children involved or not.
DB
Thanks...
Will be in touch
-Babygirl
Thanks...
Will be in touch
-Babygirl
pluto's muse, thanks for that...I don't know his planets too well. I think his Moon is Sagitarius or Scorpio. Also his Venus is in Taurus. Rising sign I'm not sure of. I think he is acting more like a Sag moon person...(needs freedom etc). I am not clear on exactly how a Sag moon alters/affects a strong Sun in Scorp.
missmorals, you are right. he is definitely confused. however, in my case, I am the ex that he cannot get over but also cannot seem to move forward with...
Update: I broke up with him...couldn't deal with the mixed messages etc. He is right now TERRIFIED of commitment even though it was always his idea that we get married one day and so forth. We have done this start-stop-start thing so many times over the years and my heart can't take it anymore. When we are far apart, he is full of promises and intense feelings. When we are together, he freezes. He actually told my sister last night (they know each other) that even though he is deeply in love with me, he is afraid that marriage will ultimately mean the end of our relationship and he would rather we didn't than hurt each other. As for the no sex thing, he apparently finds me irresistable (?). Graphic (but positive) things were said regarding his attraction to me...so I don't get it. Perhaps I can respect the fact that he will not sleep with me until he is 100% sure. Well, in my view he has had enough time to play the a*s! He is trying to act like some hard core player (because these are the men he hangs out with who cheat on their wives etc). His examples of manhood are poor. The worse part about it is that he is NOT like that. Everytime I have called him in the past, he is on his own. He says he has not had sex in a couple of years. Don't know if this is true, but he used to say how sorry his neighbours felt for him because he is single etc. I think the thing that hurts me the most is that he keeps talking about the so called "other women" out there. Is he trying to test my reaction? I told him to go to them. But all the love in the world I have for him cannot change the situation. He has to change himself. And that hurts the most of all. So I think I have to move on once and for all. If/when he decides to get his act together, I don't know if I will be around or receptive.
However, he has consistently said he would like us to have a child together. I guess he figures that is the only kind of commitment he can handle or the only part of himself he would like to share.
However, he has consistently said he would like us to have a child together. I guess he figures that is the only kind of commitment he can handle or the only part of himself he would like to share.
taurusgoddess, I have to watch that movie!!! That sounds very much like our situation! He has confirmed it is cold feet..., fear it will all go wrong, etc...
DB
What part of what rockchick said did you agree with??
What part of what rockchick said did you agree with??
Miss Morals
Thanks hun!! I think you're right...in the end, I recognise that my Scorp's willingness to wait indicates that he intends our love to last as long as possible. Funny you should mention the honesty thing. That is really important to him. He mentioned that last night.
I figure you are based in England?? So I am I...but I am in US at the moment (as you will have gathered)...
Cheers!
~DBG
Thanks hun!! I think you're right...in the end, I recognise that my Scorp's willingness to wait indicates that he intends our love to last as long as possible. Funny you should mention the honesty thing. That is really important to him. He mentioned that last night.
I figure you are based in England?? So I am I...but I am in US at the moment (as you will have gathered)...
Cheers!
~DBG
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Scorpio
OK so we all know about the Scorpio reputation for enjoying sex and what it represents to them. If a Scorpio has gone out of his way NOT to have sex with a woman who is meant to be his girlfriend, does this indicate a possible lack of interest? Other ke
@davesbabygirl
Joined: May 14, 2006 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 48