Hi virgs ...
Isn't it ironic that Virgos are vexed about love? Hard to know about something you never feel or express.
Actually, my virgal is always anxious to open her wallet and pay her fair share ... which was interesting since I had heard the old golddigger comment from others ...
Hi all ...
This has been great reading, and informative. Let me (cap man) just give an aside about my relationship with a Virgo girl.
We've been together for 15 months. We broke up once for about 36 hours. I was quite vexed at times seven months in because she wasn't returning what I was giving. But what I've learned, with the help of some of you who answered my kvetching posts back then, is that patience is integral to a relationship with a Virgal.
We have great physical and mental chemistry and conversation and always have fun. She is not one to shout her emotions and since I'm verbal that's been an issue. She invests in everything she does and sometimes to the neglect of others and other things, but that's just who she is, and the more I accept the more she more closer to me.
I've had good relationships with Taurus, but they weren't cerebral. Same wuth Scorpio. My ex was a Cap and we only split because of child issues (she didn't want them). Same with Scorpio. I've dated Cancer and Pisces women and had good relationships. I've been attracted to fire signs but, as the saying goes, always came back burnt.
I'd suggest any Cappy give a Virgo a try if they have the patience to let it develop.
ddsk
Hi gang, I'be been here before, sort of float in for help at times, I and could use some feedback.
My relationship with my Virgo in its in 15th month. We get along great, always have fun, have that elusive chemistry, and the sex if off the charts.
But she still has this occasionla sense of detachment that leaves me cold. Short chats, smaller emails, no fire on the phone. She has a mini-crisis of her own making and is obsessed about it even if it's exactly what she wanted, and in the process she'd left "us" behind.
I'm not insecure. I just don't to act spineless and wait for someone to come around, especially when my base fear is that she doesn't love me. She's set high standars for the relationship with fantastic sex energy, rapport as a talked, smar. But she would give up a kidney before any introspective thought of her feelings. She has yet to tell me she loves me but adds that I'm growing on her.
Phrases that "growing or me" of "I prefer a companion" don't wash for me becsuse I'm romantic. I feel like the once-every-two-week boyfriend.
Help. I feel like I need to shed this rather than continue as we have. That growing line seems bogus.
I know Virgos are different, so if someone out there that has experience re waiting for Vs to find their feelind, plesse chip in comments and advice.
Thnks
Bob aka ddsk
Sherob and Sagi ...
I appreciate your comments as much now as I did before. My vir-gal and I spoke tonight and she said she is optimistic about our future and says she's not rushing to a conclusion because she's done that. I don't see it that way, but we agreed we're coming to the same point from different directions. Whether we get there or not ...
She's bothered with my projections for the future, even tho she knows I'm 2 1/2 years away from anything permanent since my son has that much time left in HS (I'm a single dad) and I'm not taking him out of his school. I do have to remind myself over and over again that virgos are patient (slow?). Maybe they should be a turtle, not a virgin.
My bottom line feeling is that we'll see each other this week and sort things out. I need to take my emotions and put them aside for awhile and just let myself and the relationship breath and see how I feel. I joked that she'd probably be more interested if I started ignoring her, and she said I might be right. I said if she would open her self emotionally, she might be shocked to find out how much space I'm willing to give her.
Thanks again for your advice. You guys have been saints to indulge my feelings. Please let me return the favor.
Bob aka ddsk
Hi all ...
I've posted before about my Vir-girl and her inability to express herself clearly emotionally and find the kind of intimacy that allows us to get there. My last post said:
"So after a few months of relative drama-free life with my Virgo lass, she does another of her "duck and cover" moves ... on the eve of a romantic weekend out of town, she drops the "I'm still exploring ... the way I feel" line on me in an email. I'm tired of being explored. I feel like I have two choices, hurt now or hurt later. I feel idiotic for leaving my heart open to someone who is unable to express hers or come to a conclusion."
I stayed. Things were OK. No real progress but mostly because time conspired against us. That was August. Saturday night, in the middle of passion (OK, we were having sex), I said, sweetly, in the moment, that I draw strength from what we have. And she says "I draw strength by being along." Pause. Followed by "Sometimes (being in a relationship) is a drain." And then after 10 minutes of talking about this, and my wondering what she thought I was supposed to think and feel after hearing that, we get into a deeper discussion. She says she was being emotional by saying what she felt. OK, but if you care for someone, you certainly don't put it in those deflating (literally) terms, do you?
I asked her if she thought she would ever be in love, and she said, with me sitting next to her, in her bed, "I'm sure I'll be in love, I'm just not sure it will be with you."
At which point I left.
Please, just tell me if I'm wrong to feel angry, bitter and sad. Tell me if I misjudged something. Tell me if I'm overreacting and I'm too emotional. Tell me I should hang in there, or tell me I should stat gone. Or tell me I have every right to my feelings and did what any self-respecting person, male or female, would do in that situation. I'm an emotional cap and right now I have so many I can't sort them out.
Thank you all
Bob aka ddsk
scorp girl
He's young; Cap men get better and more mature as they age.
The work situation is a bummer. Not out of sight, not out of mind.
You need to know that the more conversation you have, the more chance he will open up more emotions and start to trust in the relationship. We're logical and pragmatic but also deeply emotionally, and the two can be confusing to us as much as others.
That said:
"I'd love to go with you if that's what you want." Slap that man and tell him to step up. Caps like strong women.
"I definitly go out of my way for family or anyone I love, and if I ever feel like Im being taken advantage of or they are being ungratful of my efforts then I repress everything ( because you know capricorns are quite passive aggressive) then after a few months I explode like a volcano with anger!"
Very accurate. Nothing makes me feel worse than reaching out to someone and having that person short-arm me in return. And I bury the anger because I'm mostly p-o'd at myself for putting myself in a position to be treated like that.
My Virgo gal is wonderful in most every sense --- except in reciprocating the emotions I show for her. I'm trying to be patient and let this relationship grow, which is what she says she needs, but it's hard. I have this image of investing two years of emotions and having her say "it's been fun, it's not working." I don't need to set myself up for that kind of fall, not at my age ...
bob/ddsk
Questions:
Would you turn down sex if you had emotional issues to work on?
Yes. I'm a Cap and I find emotional distress an anti-aphrodesiac.
Would you feel less inclined to sleep with your partner if you were on unstable ground?
Possibly. Depends on the relationship length and issue.
Do you insist on working things out before progressing in the relationship?
Hard for me not to.
Is it hard for you to stay away from the person you love when you angry with them?
It's a real magnet --- strong attraction to solve the problem but also a strong desire to remove myself from the anger.
Do you do bad things when no one is watching...like when you and your girl are angry with each other...not speaking to each other...and your out with your boys?
I'm much more likely to talk about my relationship with a friend or stranger than try to hop into a new sack. But that's me.
p.s. the cap-haters here should just move on.
Hi gang ...
Re Caps and sex: It is possible for a Cap to be born a horn dog and celibate at the same time (it's called marriage). I'm a Cap and love sex (so there) and usually I'm passionate, but it's hard to be indiscrimiate (at least for me), so if the right person isn't there, I can wait.
Aries sweetheart, I had a great relationship with an Aries lass once and I totally f-ed it up by being head-strong and taking advantage of her good nature. It's the one relationship I can take full credit for messing it up. Yet she remained a good friend for years.
As for the hands/face thing, in less mature days I couldn't have done that. Now I speak my mind fairly well, and he said the kind of thing I would say in the same situation---if he truly loves you and wants you.
Just one last FYI: Lose the filing cabinet. Discreetly move it. No big announcement. It will go over very well.
all the best
ddsk
I'm a Cap and I'm very slow to anger, but please don't be in the vicinity if I do. Classically, I'm usually most pissed at myself after I get angry because I somehow didn't deal with it.
I had a Cap ex and we managed to co-exist without arguments for a long time.