ellidyr joined January 31, 2008
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"I am truly a Cuspain Cancer...my birthday is 7/23/1975 but I was born in Taipei, Taiwan so that makes me a Cancer...about 6 hours from Leo. So obviously, I feel strong Leo influences as well as a very strong Cancer pull. Ultimately though, I identify m
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This is EASY! Short answer: Any girl we can't have!
- Cancers stay in bad relationships because they have trouble letting go (of anything). Heck, I was pissed that my mom threw away my box full of 2nd-6th grade report cards, essays, and class pix. I don't like letting anything go -- it has so much history -- even bad relationships, there's history and to us Cancers, this history is part of who we are. Telling us to let go is like tearing a part of us off...it hurts.
- Not all Cancers push you away when they feel loved. xangelfishx...your case is kind of specific. though not uncommon, many guys (not just cancers) have big problems with commitment. the underlying problem isn't the sign in your case (just my opinion)... maybe more gender (guys dont like to commit) and maybe more related to the specific person.
- Not all Cancers push you away when they feel loved. xangelfishx...your case is kind of specific. though not uncommon, many guys (not just cancers) have big problems with commitment. the underlying problem isn't the sign in your case (just my opinion)... maybe more gender (guys dont like to commit) and maybe more related to the specific person.
water signs:
pisces - i love the fact i can be myself around them. they aren't capable of hurting me...so no crawling into my shell is needed.
cancers - when a cancer wants to be sweet, he/she can melt your heart. (but when they throw a tantrum, watch out!)
scorpio - scorpios give cancers all the attention they need. in fact, they crave it...i love that about scorpios. i just naturally click w/ them...it's like scorpios love to try to figure me out but they never will cuz cancers are mysterious like that...and we all know scorpios love mysteries
(heck, i can't even figure myself out sometimes!)
fire signs
leos - trustworthy and loyal ... and generous on top of that. i look up to leos.
aries - willingness to try anything. i love that about aries.
sags - they're such clowns...love their goofiness and carefree spirit.
air signs
aquas - they're SO smart and logical. i also admire how they can detach their feelings very easily...maybe that's why they get over breakups pretty quickly.
libras - SO MUCH FUN! i think libras are the most fun (and flirty) sign of them all
geminis - they are so chill and go along w/ everything. it's like they can't say no...haha.
earth signs
capricorns - their endurance. it's amazing how much these caps can endure...really really amazing.
virgos - gotta love their meticulous nature. so detail oriented...every little detail is analyzed...i'd definitely want a virgo accountant
taurus - such good natured and steady folks...they can put up with anything i think. i can throw a fit and they'll still love me the same...
pisces - i love the fact i can be myself around them. they aren't capable of hurting me...so no crawling into my shell is needed.
cancers - when a cancer wants to be sweet, he/she can melt your heart. (but when they throw a tantrum, watch out!)
scorpio - scorpios give cancers all the attention they need. in fact, they crave it...i love that about scorpios. i just naturally click w/ them...it's like scorpios love to try to figure me out but they never will cuz cancers are mysterious like that...and we all know scorpios love mysteries
(heck, i can't even figure myself out sometimes!)fire signs
leos - trustworthy and loyal ... and generous on top of that. i look up to leos.
aries - willingness to try anything. i love that about aries.
sags - they're such clowns...love their goofiness and carefree spirit.
air signs
aquas - they're SO smart and logical. i also admire how they can detach their feelings very easily...maybe that's why they get over breakups pretty quickly.
libras - SO MUCH FUN! i think libras are the most fun (and flirty) sign of them all
geminis - they are so chill and go along w/ everything. it's like they can't say no...haha.
earth signs
capricorns - their endurance. it's amazing how much these caps can endure...really really amazing.
virgos - gotta love their meticulous nature. so detail oriented...every little detail is analyzed...i'd definitely want a virgo accountant
taurus - such good natured and steady folks...they can put up with anything i think. i can throw a fit and they'll still love me the same...
I think too many times, people put condition on love -- it's part of human nature and self-preservation. But that's where things get messy. If you love someone, accept them. If not, move on to someone else. People need to be who they are to be happy.
As for any argument where all I hear is one side of the story, I will not form any strong opinions until I hear both sides. Just like a trial, both defendant and plaintiff are given a fair chance to deliver their arguments. All we've heard is one side of the story from Capywife and I will not judge a situation from just hearing that one side...there's more to the story.
But as a member of this forum, I just wanted to help Capywife cope with some of the issues she's facing with her guy without resorting to judging him or his actions -- whether they're considered "loser-like" or not. Judging the action w/o understanding the intent can get people into trouble often. That's how misunderstandings occur in relationships and I've definitely seen my fair share of that. I've learned from that mistake not to repeat it.
As for any argument where all I hear is one side of the story, I will not form any strong opinions until I hear both sides. Just like a trial, both defendant and plaintiff are given a fair chance to deliver their arguments. All we've heard is one side of the story from Capywife and I will not judge a situation from just hearing that one side...there's more to the story.
But as a member of this forum, I just wanted to help Capywife cope with some of the issues she's facing with her guy without resorting to judging him or his actions -- whether they're considered "loser-like" or not. Judging the action w/o understanding the intent can get people into trouble often. That's how misunderstandings occur in relationships and I've definitely seen my fair share of that. I've learned from that mistake not to repeat it.
tiki, leokitten,
you both seem to be judging this cancer guy way too quickly. capywife's confused and trying to get some advice -- not get a (virtual) witch-hunt going on why this guy is such a loser. we don't really know this person...we're just told bits and pieces of what happened, if the whole story is told from both sides, our opinions may change drastically.
in any case, anytime i hear only one side of a story in a relationship, i try to keep an open mind and not start judging people or their actions based on bits and pieces of what happened during the "dating" phase from one side. it's important to remain objective and civil -- i'm sure if things were reversed, we'd want the same respect from other people as well.
there's two sides to every coin so i'm not going to jump on the bandwagon and say this guy's actions are "loser-like" or that he is a loser. Capywife might have easily triggered this guy to act the way he's acted and she hasn't told us or isn't aware of it. We'll never know. In the end, the choice is all up to her.
In any case, if he's such a jerk, I don't think Capywife would've fallen for him or developed feelings for him so deeply.
Just my 2 cents.
you both seem to be judging this cancer guy way too quickly. capywife's confused and trying to get some advice -- not get a (virtual) witch-hunt going on why this guy is such a loser. we don't really know this person...we're just told bits and pieces of what happened, if the whole story is told from both sides, our opinions may change drastically.
in any case, anytime i hear only one side of a story in a relationship, i try to keep an open mind and not start judging people or their actions based on bits and pieces of what happened during the "dating" phase from one side. it's important to remain objective and civil -- i'm sure if things were reversed, we'd want the same respect from other people as well.
there's two sides to every coin so i'm not going to jump on the bandwagon and say this guy's actions are "loser-like" or that he is a loser. Capywife might have easily triggered this guy to act the way he's acted and she hasn't told us or isn't aware of it. We'll never know. In the end, the choice is all up to her.
In any case, if he's such a jerk, I don't think Capywife would've fallen for him or developed feelings for him so deeply.
Just my 2 cents.
"Imagine ... Cancer-Cancer. Hee."
My girl now is a Cancer and boy is it interesting! She tends to mirror and copy things I do it's scary!! haha...
Anyways, as for being in a shell, I think we Cancers like going to our shells because it's the only place where we can calmly think without a bunch of emotions attacking us. Everything around us can trigger an emotion...the person we love, our friends, a tv show, a song on the radio, our family...so much going on sometimes that it's hard to think.
When someone does something to put us in our shell, I think it affects everyone around us. We wear our emotions on our sleeves...so if we're put in a bad mood or what not, everyone's going to see it.
People say Cancers are emotional...well, if those people feel what we feel, let's see how well they handle these emotions! It can be quite overwhelming sometimes!!!
My girl now is a Cancer and boy is it interesting! She tends to mirror and copy things I do it's scary!! haha...
Anyways, as for being in a shell, I think we Cancers like going to our shells because it's the only place where we can calmly think without a bunch of emotions attacking us. Everything around us can trigger an emotion...the person we love, our friends, a tv show, a song on the radio, our family...so much going on sometimes that it's hard to think.
When someone does something to put us in our shell, I think it affects everyone around us. We wear our emotions on our sleeves...so if we're put in a bad mood or what not, everyone's going to see it.
People say Cancers are emotional...well, if those people feel what we feel, let's see how well they handle these emotions! It can be quite overwhelming sometimes!!!
... and analyzing things too much, may only lead to more confusion...
love is blind...it often doesn't make sense. same with emotions...none of it is logical. so trying to reason it may be quite a difficult task...
love is blind...it often doesn't make sense. same with emotions...none of it is logical. so trying to reason it may be quite a difficult task...
I think everyone has been trying to figure out what's really going thru this cancer guy's mind. I don't think it's clear. In fact, I don't even think Capywife has any real idea what this guy's really thinking. So it's pretty unfair to judge his intent - anyone's guess is as good as mine and yes, it is just a guess. nobody will know for sure why.
He may have a very good reason for the way he's behaving and why he's hesitant. In any case, we'll never know because he's not here to defend himself or explain his actions (or inactions) towards Capywife.
I think all of us on this board want to help Capywife with this situation and want the best for her. And the ball's in her court just as much as it is in his. She has every right and ability to pull out of this relationship if she so wishes to. It's her choice just as much as it is his choice. If she says NO to him, there's nothing he can do but to accept her decision and vice versa. No one is being forced or tricked into doing anything here. We're all adults and we're all responsible for our own choices in life and in relationships.
I just feel the general attitude on this thread has been pretty negative towards this Cancer guy in Capywife's life. But if you read into some of Capywife's posts, you'll see that she does feel this guy has plenty of redeeming qualities that draws her to him. She has said that he's wonderful in many other ways which she hasn't described in much detail. But whatever these wonderful qualities are -- i'm sure that's at least part of the reason why she has decided to cut him so much slack. He's not all bad is what I'm trying to say and we just haven't heard as much of the "good" as we have of the "bad".
Sometimes, guys deserve some slack. There's plenty of good guys out there who are in Capywife's situation where they're waiting around for a girl to make up her mind about him. The suffering, distractions, anticipation, waiting, sleepless nights, lack of appetite, etc...guys go through that too for girls. It goes both ways.
I guess my point is...both people have to want the same thing for a relationship to work. And if both people don't, there's really no one to blame. All we can do as (virtual) friends is be there for those who are suffering through this and help them maintain their sanity until their situation is resolved....
He may have a very good reason for the way he's behaving and why he's hesitant. In any case, we'll never know because he's not here to defend himself or explain his actions (or inactions) towards Capywife.
I think all of us on this board want to help Capywife with this situation and want the best for her. And the ball's in her court just as much as it is in his. She has every right and ability to pull out of this relationship if she so wishes to. It's her choice just as much as it is his choice. If she says NO to him, there's nothing he can do but to accept her decision and vice versa. No one is being forced or tricked into doing anything here. We're all adults and we're all responsible for our own choices in life and in relationships.
I just feel the general attitude on this thread has been pretty negative towards this Cancer guy in Capywife's life. But if you read into some of Capywife's posts, you'll see that she does feel this guy has plenty of redeeming qualities that draws her to him. She has said that he's wonderful in many other ways which she hasn't described in much detail. But whatever these wonderful qualities are -- i'm sure that's at least part of the reason why she has decided to cut him so much slack. He's not all bad is what I'm trying to say and we just haven't heard as much of the "good" as we have of the "bad".
Sometimes, guys deserve some slack. There's plenty of good guys out there who are in Capywife's situation where they're waiting around for a girl to make up her mind about him. The suffering, distractions, anticipation, waiting, sleepless nights, lack of appetite, etc...guys go through that too for girls. It goes both ways.
I guess my point is...both people have to want the same thing for a relationship to work. And if both people don't, there's really no one to blame. All we can do as (virtual) friends is be there for those who are suffering through this and help them maintain their sanity until their situation is resolved....
"he hasn't done anything scummy like sleeping with other girls"
what i meant is...he hasn't lied about sleeping around or is getting into people's pants by playing mind games. in all fairness, he's not committed so he actually can sleep around and it wouldn't be scummy. just clarifying...
what i meant is...he hasn't lied about sleeping around or is getting into people's pants by playing mind games. in all fairness, he's not committed so he actually can sleep around and it wouldn't be scummy. just clarifying...
LK, tiki, YaMama and all the women on this thread...
i have to disagree with anyone who calls this guy a loser. it's pretty unfair. he hasn't taken advantage of her. capywife, for her own reasons, has given him a chance and because he hasn't taken advantage of this opportunity, he's a loser? that's pretty unfair to judge him this way.
from all i've heard, sure, he's slow, he hasn't made up his mind but he hasn't exactly played any mind games with her and strung her along or anything. all he's done is chosen to keep his distance. whatever the reason is for him not pulling the trigger and jumping into a relationship with capywife, it's STILL HIS CHOICE. and he has chosen to take his time.
if capywife doesn't want to wait around, that's her choice too. and if she does want to wait, that's also her choice.
there's no reason i would think any less of this cancer guy just because he's not sure or hasn't jumped into this relationship. he hasn't done anything scummy like sleeping with other girls or is some kind of lying b*stard...he seems like a decent guy to me. just a bit unsure bout his feelings, but not a bad person in any way at all and not a loser imo.
i have to disagree with anyone who calls this guy a loser. it's pretty unfair. he hasn't taken advantage of her. capywife, for her own reasons, has given him a chance and because he hasn't taken advantage of this opportunity, he's a loser? that's pretty unfair to judge him this way.
from all i've heard, sure, he's slow, he hasn't made up his mind but he hasn't exactly played any mind games with her and strung her along or anything. all he's done is chosen to keep his distance. whatever the reason is for him not pulling the trigger and jumping into a relationship with capywife, it's STILL HIS CHOICE. and he has chosen to take his time.
if capywife doesn't want to wait around, that's her choice too. and if she does want to wait, that's also her choice.
there's no reason i would think any less of this cancer guy just because he's not sure or hasn't jumped into this relationship. he hasn't done anything scummy like sleeping with other girls or is some kind of lying b*stard...he seems like a decent guy to me. just a bit unsure bout his feelings, but not a bad person in any way at all and not a loser imo.
"yes he said that he is but i haven't replied"
btw, him saying that he's IS serious about you means that he's putting himself out there for you. For a Cancer guy, that's an enormous feat. Cancers fear rejection more than any other sign in the zodiac. So it takes a LOT for a Cancer guy to do that for anyone so if you feel the same way, let him know and don't make him wait too long to hear a response.
btw, him saying that he's IS serious about you means that he's putting himself out there for you. For a Cancer guy, that's an enormous feat. Cancers fear rejection more than any other sign in the zodiac. So it takes a LOT for a Cancer guy to do that for anyone so if you feel the same way, let him know and don't make him wait too long to hear a response.
Capywife,
Here's some advice.
Don't sit too long on this. Take him as he is or leave him.
If you want this Cancer guy, don't put conditions on things. Don't play games with him. If you wait too long or start playing games...it will only make your Cancer guy resent you and by the time he's "yours", you will see that he's really not. A part of him may have died during the "waiting" phase.
Don't let resentment set in to his mind. He will resent you for making him wait or putting him through an emotional mess. I know he's put you through a lot as well but this is a situation where both people need to bend and give a little. Caps and Cancers are both so protective of themselves that they don't open up to each other easily. You both need to open your hearts to make this work.
And yes, he is probably emotionally messed up right now -- all Cancers are when they're in love.
Here's some advice.
Don't sit too long on this. Take him as he is or leave him.
If you want this Cancer guy, don't put conditions on things. Don't play games with him. If you wait too long or start playing games...it will only make your Cancer guy resent you and by the time he's "yours", you will see that he's really not. A part of him may have died during the "waiting" phase.
Don't let resentment set in to his mind. He will resent you for making him wait or putting him through an emotional mess. I know he's put you through a lot as well but this is a situation where both people need to bend and give a little. Caps and Cancers are both so protective of themselves that they don't open up to each other easily. You both need to open your hearts to make this work.
And yes, he is probably emotionally messed up right now -- all Cancers are when they're in love.
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