GemIKnow joined December 05, 2011
40 years old female
SunGemini16.10 MoonVirgo16.19 MercuryTaurus28.19 VenusGemini13.39 MarsScorpio12.52 R JupiterCapricorn10.50 R SaturnScorpio10.44 R UranusSagittarius11.22 R NeptuneCapricorn 0.27 R PlutoLibra29.36 R LilithPisces19.49 Asc nodeGemini 6.3
Comments
Relieved to be able to vent again... 
Here's to a great start to a new year...
Damn, go camping for 2 days and my profile count jumped 20+...it's been a trickle here or there up til now...
Messages
And a vibrator. A vibrator definitely helps with some particular needs of mine.
@ Rabbit, lol. He does a lot of sweet things for me while I'm at work (made bath oils and cooks dinner, etc), so I totally feel loved and all. But he has closed himself off for the most part, so there hasn't been a lot of emotional or physical connection these past few weeks, and it's taking its toll on me.
@ LetItBe, I challenged him in the summer to quit drinking and start exercising, and I would quit eating junk food and start exercising. We used to both model, but good southern food and a tendency to over-indulge when drinking became his physical downfall, and a love of junk food and 3 pregnancies became mine. Shortly after we both agreed to the challenge, I found out I was pregnant this third time. We did pretty decent with our agreement but agreed to enjoy ourselves during the holidays, guilt free. He's an extremist and made up his mind to quit drinking, smoking, eating unhealthy and to start exercising regularly rather than just quit drinking. He's starting his regime effective tonight for New Year's, and I'll start rigorously exercising when I get the Dr's ok after delivery and recovery. I already eat pretty healthy and got all of the junk food cravings out of my system around Thanksgiving. Anyway, enough about me.
I totally embrace and encourage all of the changes he plans to make. But he's retreated into himself, I suppose to prepare for his next 'regeneration.' He doesn't go through this too frequently, but for a chatty Gemini like myself, it gets rather boring. In the past I didn't fully understand his needs, DXP helps a lot with that. But as I've got needs to, I'm turning to DXP to distract me so I don't smother him, lol.
@ LetItBe, I challenged him in the summer to quit drinking and start exercising, and I would quit eating junk food and start exercising. We used to both model, but good southern food and a tendency to over-indulge when drinking became his physical downfall, and a love of junk food and 3 pregnancies became mine. Shortly after we both agreed to the challenge, I found out I was pregnant this third time. We did pretty decent with our agreement but agreed to enjoy ourselves during the holidays, guilt free. He's an extremist and made up his mind to quit drinking, smoking, eating unhealthy and to start exercising regularly rather than just quit drinking. He's starting his regime effective tonight for New Year's, and I'll start rigorously exercising when I get the Dr's ok after delivery and recovery. I already eat pretty healthy and got all of the junk food cravings out of my system around Thanksgiving. Anyway, enough about me.
I totally embrace and encourage all of the changes he plans to make. But he's retreated into himself, I suppose to prepare for his next 'regeneration.' He doesn't go through this too frequently, but for a chatty Gemini like myself, it gets rather boring. In the past I didn't fully understand his needs, DXP helps a lot with that. But as I've got needs to, I'm turning to DXP to distract me so I don't smother him, lol.
Hey everyone, it's been such a long time since I've posted here on DXP. My Scorpio is preparing for a lot of life changes (quit drinking/smoking/junk food, begin to exercise again and a new baby due in 3 weeks) and has alas, retreated into himself. It may be the pregnancy hormones, but damn this is so lonely right now! So I turn to you. Let's open up an intense discussion about something. Anything. Freud. Anarchy. What you collect. What you plan to change this new year. Whatever you want. For those of you who remember me, I'm a Gemini with a LOT of Scorpio placements, and for those of you I don't know yet, it's nice to meet you.
Please distract me so I don't get all needy on him, lol.
Please distract me so I don't get all needy on him, lol.
I have a lot of replies I intend to make but have been and will be extremely busy this week. I truly appreciate all of the advice and angles. 
Posted by Ariess
Lies, all lies!I mean, it's good but ... Scorp doesn't have the intensity like my Sag ex. I dont get it.
This is ON POINT. My Sag ex husband was always wanting more, all day and night, often so I had a hard time walking the next few days. Scorp boyfriend rocks my body like none before, but as he rarely wants sex I'm left feeling less than satisfied AND he always wants to take control, does not care for me taking the lead.
Jynja- thanks for understanding, from one Mars in Scorpio to another!
I just read some info on his Mars in Sag & my Mars in Scorp...so dead on.
Thank you to everyone. I'm a communication freak and this thread has helped me so much to break down the other side to help me relate.
I just read some info on his Mars in Sag & my Mars in Scorp...so dead on.
Thank you to everyone. I'm a communication freak and this thread has helped me so much to break down the other side to help me relate.
*forward to.
continued @Intrigued Scorp
But I only know how to convey that effort in sex- not the act, but the connection. I value what I am not capable of having at this time.
I definitely feel he could have a better connection with someone else emotionally, without sex, and I have a hard time understanding exactly what it is he sees in me to connect with aside from the day-to-day. I can see his soul, but he doesn't believe me. He can touch mine but won't.
@Enfant_Terrible
Thank you for at least answering my original question. Nothing you said burst any bubbles. Men are naturally geared to enjoy themselves with strangers. Women are not unless they have conditioned themselves to do so. I already know that if my boyfriend were to be single and out, he would have no problem picking up a random girl and sleeping with her that night. Based on our conversation last night, he claims if he were single he'd be doing the same thing that he's doing now- no sex, mentally focused on other aspects of his life and taking a break from the need for sex. Maybe he wouldn't have started that break were it not for the efforts he's put into our relationship, forming a separation between who he was before me (promiscuous) and who he wants to be and is learning to be now.
This topic was opened with a lot of (still current) sexual frustration that I'm learning to just deal with for the greater good. To be honest, if it continues I know that the downfall of our relationship will be the lack of sex. That's horribly shallow, especially for me, but it's true and I would really have no regrets in doing so regardless of all of the chaos we've successfully endured and emotional baggage we've overcome in addition to the day-to-day living and adapting into each others' crazy worlds. That's pretty bad, isn't it?
@Exo
He does tend to want sex once in a great while to savor & appreciate the quality. But frankly, it doesn't last long to savor, it doesn't happen frequently enough to keep me intrigued and I never know how long it will be til it happens again so when it's over I'm left wanting more knowing it's not going to happen. I want amazing sex in the middle of the day, then again that same night and the next morning. I would think most guys would jump at the opportunity. I don't want to use him for sex anymore than I want to be used, but I don't want to be with an asexual either.
I have a hard time focusing on the long-term future if this present is what I have to look f
But I only know how to convey that effort in sex- not the act, but the connection. I value what I am not capable of having at this time.
I definitely feel he could have a better connection with someone else emotionally, without sex, and I have a hard time understanding exactly what it is he sees in me to connect with aside from the day-to-day. I can see his soul, but he doesn't believe me. He can touch mine but won't.
@Enfant_Terrible
Thank you for at least answering my original question. Nothing you said burst any bubbles. Men are naturally geared to enjoy themselves with strangers. Women are not unless they have conditioned themselves to do so. I already know that if my boyfriend were to be single and out, he would have no problem picking up a random girl and sleeping with her that night. Based on our conversation last night, he claims if he were single he'd be doing the same thing that he's doing now- no sex, mentally focused on other aspects of his life and taking a break from the need for sex. Maybe he wouldn't have started that break were it not for the efforts he's put into our relationship, forming a separation between who he was before me (promiscuous) and who he wants to be and is learning to be now.
This topic was opened with a lot of (still current) sexual frustration that I'm learning to just deal with for the greater good. To be honest, if it continues I know that the downfall of our relationship will be the lack of sex. That's horribly shallow, especially for me, but it's true and I would really have no regrets in doing so regardless of all of the chaos we've successfully endured and emotional baggage we've overcome in addition to the day-to-day living and adapting into each others' crazy worlds. That's pretty bad, isn't it?
@Exo
He does tend to want sex once in a great while to savor & appreciate the quality. But frankly, it doesn't last long to savor, it doesn't happen frequently enough to keep me intrigued and I never know how long it will be til it happens again so when it's over I'm left wanting more knowing it's not going to happen. I want amazing sex in the middle of the day, then again that same night and the next morning. I would think most guys would jump at the opportunity. I don't want to use him for sex anymore than I want to be used, but I don't want to be with an asexual either.
I have a hard time focusing on the long-term future if this present is what I have to look f
@ Intrigued Scorp:
I agree that this isn't really manipulation for the same reason you stated- What man manipulates to NOT have sex?!? I mean really! That's what puzzles me the most. Most of the answers to the questions you asked I addressed in recent posts. I have a difficult time understanding the middle, why the fight within himself? I suppose it's just another way that we're opposite. I commit fully from the beginning (with a strong instinct to trust), but fall away if I lose the emotional connection along the way. I just tie all of my emotions into my sex life, so that's a strong weight that normally increases throughout the duration of my relationships...the longer you're with someone, the more comfortable you are and therefore the more honest & open you become sexually. I don't try the freaky things unless I have full faith and trust in my significant other. He, on the other hand, trys the freaky things with complete strangers because you don't have to have anything to do with them afterward if you don't want. Fuck for fucks sake, have a good time, roll out. And that's where I feel Elly was right with the whole Madonna/Whore complex. However, it's also inaccurate as he explained to me that he's focused on the actual day-to-day relationship and emotions- those are the things he never stuck around for. Too much fun to be had to deal with attachment and drama.
I believe you're right, Intrigued, in that he's got the endless array of questions, none of which leads to having sex, but after gaining insight on all of these replies I'm wondering if that's really so bad? I'm human, afterall, and I am having a difficult time knowing what fun we could be having but are not...he's planning for long-term and I'm focused on short-term. Maybe it's due to my divorce, but I don't think the way I used to. Mentally, now I'm the whore, lol...can't stop thinking about sex! Guess I'm the shallow one between us. So yeah, I would like the idea of a playmate to get my rocks off, but don't see anything but problems arising from that scenario.
I also do believe we understand each other, but he so more intently understands me than I have mostly taken the concentrated effort to understand him. It's not that I don't. I want the deep emotional automatic connection water signs are capable of having with one another. It's not how I'm geared as an air sign, and I'll never reach that 'depth' without first drowning.
I agree that this isn't really manipulation for the same reason you stated- What man manipulates to NOT have sex?!? I mean really! That's what puzzles me the most. Most of the answers to the questions you asked I addressed in recent posts. I have a difficult time understanding the middle, why the fight within himself? I suppose it's just another way that we're opposite. I commit fully from the beginning (with a strong instinct to trust), but fall away if I lose the emotional connection along the way. I just tie all of my emotions into my sex life, so that's a strong weight that normally increases throughout the duration of my relationships...the longer you're with someone, the more comfortable you are and therefore the more honest & open you become sexually. I don't try the freaky things unless I have full faith and trust in my significant other. He, on the other hand, trys the freaky things with complete strangers because you don't have to have anything to do with them afterward if you don't want. Fuck for fucks sake, have a good time, roll out. And that's where I feel Elly was right with the whole Madonna/Whore complex. However, it's also inaccurate as he explained to me that he's focused on the actual day-to-day relationship and emotions- those are the things he never stuck around for. Too much fun to be had to deal with attachment and drama.
I believe you're right, Intrigued, in that he's got the endless array of questions, none of which leads to having sex, but after gaining insight on all of these replies I'm wondering if that's really so bad? I'm human, afterall, and I am having a difficult time knowing what fun we could be having but are not...he's planning for long-term and I'm focused on short-term. Maybe it's due to my divorce, but I don't think the way I used to. Mentally, now I'm the whore, lol...can't stop thinking about sex! Guess I'm the shallow one between us. So yeah, I would like the idea of a playmate to get my rocks off, but don't see anything but problems arising from that scenario.
I also do believe we understand each other, but he so more intently understands me than I have mostly taken the concentrated effort to understand him. It's not that I don't. I want the deep emotional automatic connection water signs are capable of having with one another. It's not how I'm geared as an air sign, and I'll never reach that 'depth' without first drowning.
Harry99: "You can't read his mind so you don't know what's going on. He may be trying to protect himself/test you to see if u really want him or he may be trying to manipulate u and gain control over you. The last part is a big no no and can lead to a whole bunch of problems for you. Is he controlling in any other ways in ur relationships?"
I can't read his mind, true, but he's really good at speaking his mind. Sometimes too clearly and I overlook the obvious in search of the hidden meaning. He does that to me all the time, guess it's a Scorpio thing- don't take anything at face value.
No, he's not really controlling in any other ways relationship-wise. Yes, in the day to day bit he aggravates me occasionally...I'll come home from work and he's on a cleaning rampage and decided to rearrange the kitchen for the umpteenth time because he's the one that cooks the most...drives me nuts because that's my favorite room in the house and once he changes things all around I can NEVER find anything lol. And most of the stuff in there is mine. But really, who can truly complain about that? He cooks and cleans...pros outweigh the cons. I'm just OCD so it gets under my skin when I can't find something that was clearly labeled and sorted.
But no, he encourages my personal freedom constantly, pushes me to try new things that I was otherwise closed off to. I grew up really sheltered, he had literally no guidance...so we're coming at this relationship from completely opposite angles. I have been (still am, on occasion) a master of manipulation so I know when he's trying to manipulate me. I can see right through it unless I purposely blind myself, and even then I know what's up. Typically I call him on it right then and there, maybe in jest but he still knows I'm aware. And the manipulation tends to be in arguments when I'm criticizing him in any way...he'll try to change the topic slightly to change it to an example of when I was in the wrong. It's a diversion tactic meant to emotionally get me on the defense to distract from the offense. Plus, he can leave the argument feeling like he's in the right, regardless of how I felt he was in the wrong in the original topic. He gets called on that one to the point he recognizes when he's doing it now, lol.
I can't read his mind, true, but he's really good at speaking his mind. Sometimes too clearly and I overlook the obvious in search of the hidden meaning. He does that to me all the time, guess it's a Scorpio thing- don't take anything at face value.
No, he's not really controlling in any other ways relationship-wise. Yes, in the day to day bit he aggravates me occasionally...I'll come home from work and he's on a cleaning rampage and decided to rearrange the kitchen for the umpteenth time because he's the one that cooks the most...drives me nuts because that's my favorite room in the house and once he changes things all around I can NEVER find anything lol. And most of the stuff in there is mine. But really, who can truly complain about that? He cooks and cleans...pros outweigh the cons. I'm just OCD so it gets under my skin when I can't find something that was clearly labeled and sorted.
But no, he encourages my personal freedom constantly, pushes me to try new things that I was otherwise closed off to. I grew up really sheltered, he had literally no guidance...so we're coming at this relationship from completely opposite angles. I have been (still am, on occasion) a master of manipulation so I know when he's trying to manipulate me. I can see right through it unless I purposely blind myself, and even then I know what's up. Typically I call him on it right then and there, maybe in jest but he still knows I'm aware. And the manipulation tends to be in arguments when I'm criticizing him in any way...he'll try to change the topic slightly to change it to an example of when I was in the wrong. It's a diversion tactic meant to emotionally get me on the defense to distract from the offense. Plus, he can leave the argument feeling like he's in the right, regardless of how I felt he was in the wrong in the original topic. He gets called on that one to the point he recognizes when he's doing it now, lol.
While the no sex has still been an issue for me, it hasn't really held back our relationship like it did months ago. Last night I was just super pent up and frustrated. And I normally don't curse, but was def flavoring my sentences yesterday. Don't get me wrong, I still fully feel that side to us needs a chance to thrive and he's unfairly deciding for the both of us that it's unneccessary for us at this time. We talked about that a lot last night. I don't want sex for shallow sex sake. I want our relationship to fully thrive on every aspect, not one or the other. I have a difficult time opening up sexually and have been making a point to overcome that, and his reaction has been completely opposite of what I perceived and assumed it would be, further throwing me off balance. However, I can open up emotionally to a stranger on a bus. He, on the other hand, does not open up emotionally to most anyone, yet sex was the ice breaker prior to me.
Ok, where to begin? Had an early day today, so logged off DxP early last night.
DMV: "its all about how long your willing to be his puppet. sexual manipulation is his defense mechanism for not getting hurt. remember that. this is learned behavior. someone did it to him. sex puts him in his most vulnerable spot.
he also doesnt want to be used for sex. so he suppresses his sexual side so you wont take advantage of him. love me for me kind of bs. not whats in my pants. self stinging at its finest. only to him its self preservation.
mars in air signs arent as sexual as mars in the other signs. mars in air gets off by thinking of getting off. they think more then feel."
While I'm unsure if it's legit sexual manipulation, I totally agree it's his defense mechanism due to learned behavior. Let's just say he was introduced/molested pretty severely at 11 by one of his mother's friends no less...so yes, he is most vulnerable with sex, yet due to his extreme promiscuity throughout his life (not disloyal while dating, to clear confusion) has maintained the "on top" control of the other person pretty much every time, regardless of the duration of their time together. He doesn't want to be used for sex, has a much deeper connection with me than past relationships and has constantly told me that I'm the first girl he's considered, and wants to, marry for who I am rather than outside reasons (kids). He's never been married, but only wants to do so once. I, on the other hand, am divorced.
He has mixed feelings about trusting women most likely due to the woman who molested him- it was all fun and games (although way, way, WAY inappropriate pedophilia) until her husband joined in without an 11 year old's consent. Also, problems trusting women- where was mom during all of this?
Please note that I would never, ever post these specific details if anyone actually knew who we were. However, due to my understanding, don't most Scorps have severe introductions to sex at a young age? A necessary evil that helps form the cynical, sexually knowledged & powerful deep brooders that you are?
And the mars in air sign...yes, I agree now that I look back on it...he does get off by thinking more than feeling. Right now I believe he's got too much else on his mind. Back in May I received some awesome advice from DXP ladies that has helped my relationship flourish and me to understand his side much better. While the no sex has still been an issue for me, it hasn't rea
DMV: "its all about how long your willing to be his puppet. sexual manipulation is his defense mechanism for not getting hurt. remember that. this is learned behavior. someone did it to him. sex puts him in his most vulnerable spot.
he also doesnt want to be used for sex. so he suppresses his sexual side so you wont take advantage of him. love me for me kind of bs. not whats in my pants. self stinging at its finest. only to him its self preservation.
mars in air signs arent as sexual as mars in the other signs. mars in air gets off by thinking of getting off. they think more then feel."
While I'm unsure if it's legit sexual manipulation, I totally agree it's his defense mechanism due to learned behavior. Let's just say he was introduced/molested pretty severely at 11 by one of his mother's friends no less...so yes, he is most vulnerable with sex, yet due to his extreme promiscuity throughout his life (not disloyal while dating, to clear confusion) has maintained the "on top" control of the other person pretty much every time, regardless of the duration of their time together. He doesn't want to be used for sex, has a much deeper connection with me than past relationships and has constantly told me that I'm the first girl he's considered, and wants to, marry for who I am rather than outside reasons (kids). He's never been married, but only wants to do so once. I, on the other hand, am divorced.
He has mixed feelings about trusting women most likely due to the woman who molested him- it was all fun and games (although way, way, WAY inappropriate pedophilia) until her husband joined in without an 11 year old's consent. Also, problems trusting women- where was mom during all of this?
Please note that I would never, ever post these specific details if anyone actually knew who we were. However, due to my understanding, don't most Scorps have severe introductions to sex at a young age? A necessary evil that helps form the cynical, sexually knowledged & powerful deep brooders that you are?
And the mars in air sign...yes, I agree now that I look back on it...he does get off by thinking more than feeling. Right now I believe he's got too much else on his mind. Back in May I received some awesome advice from DXP ladies that has helped my relationship flourish and me to understand his side much better. While the no sex has still been an issue for me, it hasn't rea
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Scorpio
Hey everyone, it's been such a long time since I've posted here on DXP. My Scorpio is preparing for a lot of life chang
@GemIKnow
Joined: Dec 05, 2011 · Topics: 6 · Posts: 60
Scorpio
Which one is more important overall? In a relationship? Do you find it difficult to have both with most people? Do yo
@GemIKnow
Joined: Dec 05, 2011 · Topics: 6 · Posts: 60
Scorpio
(Abridged version of previous thread-post) I'm a Gemini female dating a Scorpio male. We've been friends a couple of ye
@GemIKnow
Joined: Dec 05, 2011 · Topics: 6 · Posts: 60
Scorpio
I'm looking for some new art for my apartment...bedroom theme is black and white w/ red accents. I'm looking for some b
@GemIKnow
Joined: Dec 05, 2011 · Topics: 6 · Posts: 60
Cancer
Ok, so I'm dating an EXTREMELY sexy Scorpio (Love, Love, LOVE HIM!). We've been great friends for a long while now, rela
@GemIKnow
Joined: Dec 05, 2011 · Topics: 6 · Posts: 60
Scorpio
Ok, so I'm dating an EXTREMELY sexy Scorpio (Love, Love, LOVE HIM!). We've been great friends for a long while now, rel
@GemIKnow
Joined: Dec 05, 2011 · Topics: 6 · Posts: 60