gemvirgoaries joined August 19, 2017
female
Comments
There are no comments.
Messages
Posted by tctaoYes, that was my former employee's advice as well--get out of Dodge as fast as I can. I've been looking and will continue to do so. Your skin crawling? I was freaked for weeks about my office. LOL.Posted by gemvirgoariesYeah - it seems like you are becoming "boxed in" - a place where you don't want to be ... to think that he might just be playing you for whatever sick reason he has in his head is ridiculous - do people really do that sort of thing ? not to the length that you have described him to do it - unless of course they are "touched" and well ... his being thrown off when you returned after an absence - something happened to the office - and him saying he's secured your office - all this sounds like he's the cry-baby bed-wetter wanna-be spy-man from some movie set. WTF cares if he got mad or you got mad - it doesn't make you butt buddies now. Tell him when his questions get too personal and ask him if this is an interrogation because it feels like it. Don't always just answer him. Smile and look at him and don't say anything for a moment. Choose what you say to him - with a smile. Yes, keep him at arms length. If it was me, I'd be looking for another position elsewhere. But that's me. Ya'll got my skin crawling lol ...Posted by tctaotctao - true I admit I did make a mistake. I make a big assumption that he was like his predecessor who had a personality like mine and we worked well together. I pretty much work well with people. I like working with people. Either I haven't worked with alot of Scorpios or I've never run up on this particular type of Scorpio. His predecessor said something to me that should have set off red flags (hindsight 20/20 right): "He's a great guy, just don't make him mad." Well, that could be for anyone.
this all sounds so very strange and creepy
your boundary lines are gray and for me, that is just as creepy in itself
but that is me - no, I would not be this "friendly" with anyone I work with - first of all, my life is my business, not theirs
I think he likes you and/or he thinks you like him - and he seems to want control by way of knowing things about you - probing and getting information - which you seem to present to him on a silver platter.
lastly, not sure how you back out of all this at this point and/or if you are capable of it
sounds so involved - and I think it's both of you that has a problem - a different problem but it is obviously connected
I guess it's my Cap that is always wary of someone that makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck that then wants to probe into my personal space - no
But our work we all work together we become family with each other especially the longer you stay. The probing set off alarms---the specific probing---specific questions---not just "oh you're going on vacation?" instead, "What dates are your vacation, where are you going, and when will you be returning?"
I should have listen to my spidey senses from the beginning...but in this case I was pushed unto the bandwagon due to superiors not by choice. "You aren't a team player, he's really a nice guy....blah blah blah...."
Then when I voiced my reservations, I was told by my former Scorpio boss--you two work it out and get along, my interpretation to that means arm's length or further.click to expand
I plan to burn some vacation before my Christmas vacation and no one is going to know but my boss...he's going to have a hissy fit...have his folks badger my assistant and she isn't even going to know about it. LOL...he's going to be mad....
I listen to him brag about their Christmas vacations but he never has any pictures to show me.
Posted by CrimsonGirlNow I know. Thanks CrimsonGirl.
I find they brag a lot. I remember making out with one at a party years ago and he wouldn't shut the hell up about how big his dick was.
Another one that liked me would always tease me and tell me how much money he was making at work and blah blah blah. Most punchable dude I ever met.
What about the spying part? I know I've read they do that with people they are dating, but it doesn't apply here. So what would be the purpose? And he admitted it to me that he had his folks swinging by my office, but not about the other employee that was transferred.
Posted by tctaotctao - true I admit I did make a mistake. I make a big assumption that he was like his predecessor who had a personality like mine and we worked well together. I pretty much work well with people. I like working with people. Either I haven't worked with alot of Scorpios or I've never run up on this particular type of Scorpio. His predecessor said something to me that should have set off red flags (hindsight 20/20 right): "He's a great guy, just don't make him mad." Well, that could be for anyone.
this all sounds so very strange and creepy
your boundary lines are gray and for me, that is just as creepy in itself
but that is me - no, I would not be this "friendly" with anyone I work with - first of all, my life is my business, not theirs
I think he likes you and/or he thinks you like him - and he seems to want control by way of knowing things about you - probing and getting information - which you seem to present to him on a silver platter.
lastly, not sure how you back out of all this at this point and/or if you are capable of it
sounds so involved - and I think it's both of you that has a problem - a different problem but it is obviously connected
I guess it's my Cap that is always wary of someone that makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck that then wants to probe into my personal space - no
But our work we all work together we become family with each other especially the longer you stay. The probing set off alarms---the specific probing---specific questions---not just "oh you're going on vacation?" instead, "What dates are your vacation, where are you going, and when will you be returning?"
I should have listen to my spidey senses from the beginning...but in this case I was pushed unto the bandwagon due to superiors not by choice. "You aren't a team player, he's really a nice guy....blah blah blah...."
Then when I voiced my reservations, I was told by my former Scorpio boss--you two work it out and get along, my interpretation to that means arm's length or further.
Posted by EnochtheWiseTouche---guess I hadn't done enough searching. LOL!Posted by gemvirgoaries
In the searches I've done (inquisitiveness of Gemini) I haven't seen where Scorps brag.
click to expand
Posted by EnochtheWisePosted by gemvirgoariesjust not sure how anyone here can help you. I often feel like people are afraid of me without real justification so perhaps I'm just unfairly leaning towards that interpretation of at least some of the things you are saying. I often wish people would just confront me directly and tell me what is up. If I'm not aware of how I'm coming off, and I can really see it in what you're saying, I *will* respect you for pointing it out, and try to change it.
No, I'm trying to find clues as to how to coexist without being on his radar for revenge or being interrogated during monthly meetings. Trying to figure out how to have a balanced work relationship. Or is it not possible?
Being a Gemini I don't understand the questioning...and we like logic.
Now I've seen how far he will go against anyone who he thinks has crossed him. My former employee suggests I should find another job and quit, that it is not going to get any better especially since he's coming to the location once week now.
At my place of business, there is a Scorp who is pretty high up and very intimidating, particularly to women. I do think he is a bit of a misogynist who gets off on the power trip - has made several women cry and shows no remorse. He is a bit of an ass in general, in the past he was known for scolding people on his team, and eventually writing them up, for being a minute or two late on days they need to be in the office, and that is totally not the kind of environment we even work in. He never gave me or at least one other guy I know any issues over it when I was under him.
In a 1x1/review with my friend/co-worker (a Taurus actually) who is very well-respected at my company, the Scorpio boss asked him how he could do a better job. My Taurus friend was blunt - told him he is harsh, disrespectful to women, micromanages them selectively. He told me he said "You have made several women on the team cry. I know them from having worked with them for several years; they are great workers. Is this the kind of manager you want to be? Is that the kind of person you want to be where people are afraid of you?" I don't think I've ever seen a change so great in a manager from that point on....He thanked my friend for saying what he did, and I never saw any issues for the year or so I worked under him after that. He softened up a lot; even in his interactions with me it was noticeable. Maybe directly/honestly confronting is worth a shot, especially if you think he's already plotting against you or considering leaving...doesn't seem to be too much to lose.click to expand
************************************************************************************************************************
You may be right on this point EnochtheWise. The employee who left was another air sign (Libra) so we were able to communicate with each with ease. I think the Scorpio is too "something" I can't put my finger on it. My former boss who is a Scorpio--I'd come in, have our meeting, get his feedback on whatever I needed to do and then chitchat. But he doesn't carry this same dark vibe that this Scorpio carries. This Scorpio as soon as he walks into my office, it feels like he's pulling from my energy. I'm a sunshiny person and it just feel like he thrives on this dark, emotive vibe with him. Everything is accusatory, interrogative, I just can't explain it.
It gives me the heebie jeebies. I really going try hard to work keep an open line of communication and no matter how much he throws bombs and arrows my way I'm not going to fall into the trap.
We did have a verbal confrontation late last year and I couldn't hold it any longer and told him I knew he was spying on me and trying to get me fired...he was surprised but angrily denied that he was trying to get me fired and tried to play the victim. It seemed to amuse him that he managed to get an emotion out of me, then "apologize".
Since then I've kept my emotions under control around him--no matter how much he needles me.
I don't think Geminis and Scorpios get along.
Lisabethur8, oh no, I'm definitely no a whistleblower for the company. I climbed my way up through the ranks. I don't know why "the spying". This is something he's decided he's going to do.
That's the reason I asked the original question about the bragging. In the searches I've done (inquisitiveness of Gemini) I haven't seen where Scorps brag. I have found they spy on loved ones---but that should not apply in this case--since it deals with a work environment. So this puzzles me. As a Gemini, I work with logical rather than feelings. My bosses are happy with my work performance throughout the years.
I've been in situations working with former colleagues and having personality conflicts, but this is something different. Every so often he withholds information just to see how I will respond, or say something to see how I will react.
But so far, everyone keeps posting saying it is me instead of him that has the problem.
That's the reason I asked the original question about the bragging. In the searches I've done (inquisitiveness of Gemini) I haven't seen where Scorps brag. I have found they spy on loved ones---but that should not apply in this case--since it deals with a work environment. So this puzzles me. As a Gemini, I work with logical rather than feelings. My bosses are happy with my work performance throughout the years.
I've been in situations working with former colleagues and having personality conflicts, but this is something different. Every so often he withholds information just to see how I will respond, or say something to see how I will react.
But so far, everyone keeps posting saying it is me instead of him that has the problem.
EnochtheWise, the employee said he put it in his EEOC grievance about the spying request. As far as the spying Scorpio wanted the employee to report back to him all my actions, comings, goings, everything. The employee was transferred to another location not based on performance; since, I was doing his assessment but based on Scorpio refusing to continue to pay his contract. The work the employee performed fell under Scorpio's department, but at my location. But the employee was another location employee so he wasn't fired, just transferred back to another location.
Yes, I temporarily share a suite with another department. Due to my work I have teleconferences and reports to do, so I crack my door but do not completely shut it. All the employees respect my privacy except his, when they take "breaks" to "check" on me at certain times, they make small talk, ask do I need anything, then they open my door completely. Sometimes I will ask them to close it's no use, and they'll say "it is safer to keep the door open", "they are looking out for me being in a back office in the back of the building", etc---those are his words. He asked if they were coming by, and I said yes annoyingly, he laughed and said good, because they were following orders just like he told them to do so.
I don't know their astrological signs. He told me his point blank which was shocking because I always thought Scorpios were secretive. But then again since he's upper management he has access to my information anyway. I don't have that kind of access.
Yes, I temporarily share a suite with another department. Due to my work I have teleconferences and reports to do, so I crack my door but do not completely shut it. All the employees respect my privacy except his, when they take "breaks" to "check" on me at certain times, they make small talk, ask do I need anything, then they open my door completely. Sometimes I will ask them to close it's no use, and they'll say "it is safer to keep the door open", "they are looking out for me being in a back office in the back of the building", etc---those are his words. He asked if they were coming by, and I said yes annoyingly, he laughed and said good, because they were following orders just like he told them to do so.
I don't know their astrological signs. He told me his point blank which was shocking because I always thought Scorpios were secretive. But then again since he's upper management he has access to my information anyway. I don't have that kind of access.
That was my take on it from reading her first post on this guy...Way too intrigued...just leave it alone and try to co-exist. If he crosses a real line in the work environment, there are proper channels to deal with that....Its just odd to me to for someone to be expending this much energy trying to "understand" someone else like this, to create a profile on an astrology board solely around what to me are somewhat mundane interactions with a married dude....Her posts read to me like she's looking for clues as to whether or not he's interested....
Nope...just the opposite. I'm actually worried. If someone you work with has told someone who reports to you to spy on you, you wouldn't be concerned? This employee thankfully had enough integrity to say no and he was targeted--he filed a formal complaint and it was quashed, he also filed a criminal complaint and evidence disappeared. He wouldn't tell me the details, but i know there is more. There's a lot more that have been going on that I'm not privy to, or have been finding out long after the fact. And that is what is upsetting.
No, I'm trying to find clues as to how to coexist without being on his radar for revenge or being interrogated during monthly meetings. Trying to figure out how to have a balanced work relationship. Or is it not possible?
Being a Gemini I don't understand the questioning...and we like logic.
Now I've seen how far he will go against anyone who he thinks has crossed him. My former employee suggests I should find another job and quit, that it is not going to get any better especially since he's coming to the location once week now.
Being a Gemini I don't understand the questioning...and we like logic.
Now I've seen how far he will go against anyone who he thinks has crossed him. My former employee suggests I should find another job and quit, that it is not going to get any better especially since he's coming to the location once week now.
Yesterday I received a call from a friend at the main location and we were talking about another colleague's sudden resignation. The topic drifted to various departments and my friend casually mentioned how under Scorpio's management, a certain department had become condescending to its customers, but it's no use complaining to HR because he is "besties" with the HR manager. My friend said it would just fall on deaf ears and more than likely get back to Scorpio. Then he would make your life a living hell.
After this phone call, I texted an employee that had worked for me but was paid from Scorpio's account. I asked him what had happened the reason he was transferred a year ago (I was never given an explanation). He texted back that because he refused to spy on me for Scorpio that he basically got rid of him (and his two backup employees), even though I was supervisor to all three (males). Scorpios' employees that do come over spend no more than 30 seconds speaking to me, and if I have my door partially closed, they open it--they don't think that i notice that they open my door so they can keep an eye on me.
I just don't get it. Seriously I don't...maybe I'm not smart enough to put the puzzle pieces together. I've never done anything against him. Even when people bad mouth him, I always remain neutral in my observations or find something positive he's done for the company, and sometimes that's very hard. I respect his position within the company.
Sometimes I think he wants me to leave, but then he talks that he wants us to collaborate, but why do stuff like above to isolate me?
After this phone call, I texted an employee that had worked for me but was paid from Scorpio's account. I asked him what had happened the reason he was transferred a year ago (I was never given an explanation). He texted back that because he refused to spy on me for Scorpio that he basically got rid of him (and his two backup employees), even though I was supervisor to all three (males). Scorpios' employees that do come over spend no more than 30 seconds speaking to me, and if I have my door partially closed, they open it--they don't think that i notice that they open my door so they can keep an eye on me.
I just don't get it. Seriously I don't...maybe I'm not smart enough to put the puzzle pieces together. I've never done anything against him. Even when people bad mouth him, I always remain neutral in my observations or find something positive he's done for the company, and sometimes that's very hard. I respect his position within the company.
Sometimes I think he wants me to leave, but then he talks that he wants us to collaborate, but why do stuff like above to isolate me?
Well, the newest update has gotten even stranger. About a month ago we had an emergency that shut down my site for a week--it was under his purview to communicate the severity to upper management, but he excluded me. I found out through his colleague.
The new CEO/president called emergency meetings depending on the problem Scorpio to tell her who should be there. Of course he excluded me and my boss--my boss was able to wiggle her way into a couple of meetings and get me into the last meeting before we were operational. That day, I was sitting with the Communications Department purposely avoiding Scorpio, but he quietly walks up behind me, puts his arm around my shoulder leans down and whispers that he 'secured' my office. He has full clearance but just the thought that he was in my office, and doing what? The Communications staff gave me a "WTF" look, and I'm sure my face registered the same.
The following week, I had planned to not have my monthly meeting with him but he threw his little tantrum in front of my former boss, which is now my boss's boss, so we went ahead and had the monthly meeting. He asked me if I had anything to share for the meeting and I responded no. Then he asked me if I felt anything needed to improve under his command during the emergency. I told him communication could have been better, since I wasn't notified. He responded that he reported to senior management, not directors ('peons'). I didn't give him the satisfaction of showing any emotion. I expected his response.
This month's meeting, I loaded him with lots of information. It was true information that he did need to know. He said that he needed to complete some agreements with other companies (that I had warned him about a year ago). I kept my mouth shut. No friendliness...nothing, all business.
He seemed to actually get anxious, nervous, schoolboyish. Then he started badgering me with personal questions--trying to confirm my Christmas vacation--when I was leaving, how long I was staying, what I was going to do while I was there, when I was coming back, etc.
Just to thump him, I told him the truth---my cousin is looking for a way for me to move to that state. Then he fired back with the most unusual response---"Oh you wouldn't go until after you retire." What???? Then he said, "You like trees too much." Huh? Then the final nail in the coffin, "You're beginning to convince me to like cooler weather." What the what?
I don't know what is going on in his head. He didn't talk about his wife these last two meetings, she almost seemed like an afterthought to him. Instead he seemed like he was focused on asking me these question like they were FBI/KGB interrogations--the only things he didn't ask for were a hair sample, urine sample, and fingerprint. He already asked about medical history way back in the past almost two years ago--it didn't come up in cause conversation mind you--he point blank asked when I came back from bereavement leave for a family member.
Before the meeting ended, he dropped the bombshell--for the last seven years there always been a person from his department working at my location, but supposedly he's soooooo shorthanded he, himself (the Executive Director) is going to begin working every Friday for next few months. How long? He wouldn't say.
I think he is literally trying to gaslight me and run me cray cray. I haven't done a thing to him--I've been nothing but professional.
The new CEO/president called emergency meetings depending on the problem Scorpio to tell her who should be there. Of course he excluded me and my boss--my boss was able to wiggle her way into a couple of meetings and get me into the last meeting before we were operational. That day, I was sitting with the Communications Department purposely avoiding Scorpio, but he quietly walks up behind me, puts his arm around my shoulder leans down and whispers that he 'secured' my office. He has full clearance but just the thought that he was in my office, and doing what? The Communications staff gave me a "WTF" look, and I'm sure my face registered the same.
The following week, I had planned to not have my monthly meeting with him but he threw his little tantrum in front of my former boss, which is now my boss's boss, so we went ahead and had the monthly meeting. He asked me if I had anything to share for the meeting and I responded no. Then he asked me if I felt anything needed to improve under his command during the emergency. I told him communication could have been better, since I wasn't notified. He responded that he reported to senior management, not directors ('peons'). I didn't give him the satisfaction of showing any emotion. I expected his response.
This month's meeting, I loaded him with lots of information. It was true information that he did need to know. He said that he needed to complete some agreements with other companies (that I had warned him about a year ago). I kept my mouth shut. No friendliness...nothing, all business.
He seemed to actually get anxious, nervous, schoolboyish. Then he started badgering me with personal questions--trying to confirm my Christmas vacation--when I was leaving, how long I was staying, what I was going to do while I was there, when I was coming back, etc.
Just to thump him, I told him the truth---my cousin is looking for a way for me to move to that state. Then he fired back with the most unusual response---"Oh you wouldn't go until after you retire." What???? Then he said, "You like trees too much." Huh? Then the final nail in the coffin, "You're beginning to convince me to like cooler weather." What the what?
I don't know what is going on in his head. He didn't talk about his wife these last two meetings, she almost seemed like an afterthought to him. Instead he seemed like he was focused on asking me these question like they were FBI/KGB interrogations--the only things he didn't ask for were a hair sample, urine sample, and fingerprint. He already asked about medical history way back in the past almost two years ago--it didn't come up in cause conversation mind you--he point blank asked when I came back from bereavement leave for a family member.
Before the meeting ended, he dropped the bombshell--for the last seven years there always been a person from his department working at my location, but supposedly he's soooooo shorthanded he, himself (the Executive Director) is going to begin working every Friday for next few months. How long? He wouldn't say.
I think he is literally trying to gaslight me and run me cray cray. I haven't done a thing to him--I've been nothing but professional.
g-emi-N-i, thank you for your feedback. I just had my meeting with him. I stood strong. No small talk, strictly business only, and I stayed on point. He drifted a couple of times but didn't discuss his home life, nevertheless I brought the meeting back again on topic. He finally cut the meeting short and left early.
Photos
Loading…
Topics
Scorpio
I have a question about a male Sun Scorpio I work with who consistently brags about how wonderful his marriage and wife is to me. We work for the same company in two different locations and have monthly status meetings. The meetings can last from an hour
@gemvirgoaries
Joined: Aug 19, 2017 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 34