Posted by geminiflyby

Don't try to get him back. Try to get YOU back.

Posted by Jan12girl

I would also like to add. I will tell you an unfortunate fact. When someone is soo helplessly "in love" they expect other person to understand even if they become weak, extremely emotional and act mad in a way . I am speaking from experience (may be not similar stories or scenarios) that even our partners / lovers judge us. If they see you lacking control completely they lose respect. Some of them will run away from you and some will walk all over you.

Posted by Jan12girl

Posted by gendut

Hi.. Stupid me back again with update but not a new news.

I was back with him for couple months, and couple weeks a go we broke up again. I know this time for sure.

My mental health getting worse, I self harming so he discard me.

It feels terrible and hurting so much. I'm healing and learning about myself right now. I know I'm codependent and in trauma bonding right now. In weak time I still want him. Even with all those things he done, he not sorry at all.

Everything is hurting so much. If I didnt get back with him, he will still want me and missing me somewhere in his mind or in his heart if he has any. But now he's completely done with me. I feel used and useless.

Sorry guys to turned this thread so dark. But I need a place to venting. No one know I'm self harming because of him, I can't tell anyone how stupid I am. I feel so alone and lost.

What’s your and his sign ?

not trying to put this on astrology but still trying to link what sign guy is narcissistic (maybe ) , strong to end things when not working and yet play games of lingering. Also what sign women get so weak in love ? ( not saying any of it to put you down ) . I will say more something about it later.

Also From one of your posts I feel there are options for him that he wants to be free to explore .

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Posted by blvck

None of this really makes any sense to me. He is the one that said he thinks the future will get worse AND that he thinks he will hurt you in the future.. Do you think he was lying about that? That should tell you everything you need to know. I have no idea why he thinks you moved on or is worried about that when he is the one breaking it off for specific reasons. You should listen to those reasons instead of trying to force something that he told you won't work.

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by gendut

Hi.. Stupid me back again with update but not a new news.

I was back with him for couple months, and couple weeks a go we broke up again. I know this time for sure.

My mental health getting worse, I self harming so he discard me.

It feels terrible and hurting so much. I'm healing and learning about myself right now. I know I'm codependent and in trauma bonding right now. In weak time I still want him. Even with all those things he done, he not sorry at all.

Everything is hurting so much. If I didnt get back with him, he will still want me and missing me somewhere in his mind or in his heart if he has any. But now he's completely done with me. I feel used and useless.

Sorry guys to turned this thread so dark. But I need a place to venting. No one know I'm self harming because of him, I can't tell anyone how stupid I am. I feel so alone and lost.

Usually if you get back with someone the same patterns repeat and you break up again, even worse as you are stacking resentment and past hurt on top. Which is why once I break up I am done.

I have no experience of self harm or people with self harm so I can't help.

With codependency I think it is a trap a lot of people fall into. Really dangerous, you usually end up with a parent child relationship. Seen it a lot with the man as a child. I would day it is a good thing you are aware and sadly you can't rely on a person for your happiness. I would also add it is too much to ask of someone to be a carer and a lover, when I say carer I don't mean caring for someone, I mean more like a home help.

You summed it up in the last sentence alone and lost. You're not stupid for self harming or getting back with him or missing him. I'm alone and lost most of the time I just try to put my energy into getting back on track with a career.

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Posted by pisceanloves

And by the way, never change for anyone. If someone isn't a match they can kick a rock. People are unique and you'll be a perfect match for another. This all sounds so toxic I can't even. Relationships, where people are able to relax internally and be themselves - thrive, the ones, when you have to walk on eggshells - crumble down. You are setting yourself up for failure I'm telling you. People do not change, you can not change who you are, there's nothing that needs to be changed about you, you are perfect in your own way, you are unique.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by gendut

Hi,

Just lonely and want to write something (better than being weak and contacting him right)

I don't know what happened today, I missed him .

I just recalled our last call weeks a go, before he came to me. He just adressing all of my fault and I should change so he will come back to me, sadly he doesn't understand his fault that destroy my love and our relationship,he just brush it off. Maybe because the whole time I always forgave him, he thinks that flirting in chat with another girl was just little thing.

I was so mad at me to love a shallow man like that.

He can not live with messy me (apparently 3times a week of cleaning his home not enough) but I should live with his narcissist and his on and off looking for hookers anywhere.

In our last chat is also like that,he bullshitly said he does want to live and can live with only one girl (me) in his life, but I messed it up because my behavior always annoyed him.

MY BEHAVIOR! not because of him still want the thrill of new woman and ONS, but 'my behavior' (that not letting him to do so , have a trust issue on him, and being suspicious) that what destroy the relationship 🥴

Is he really stupid thinking like that? Or That's only gaslighting thingy, so he feels good of himself?

I am so mad at him but more with myself. Why am I putting myself in this situation. Why I put up with this for so long. And why I still misses him and secretly want him back.

Good for you for standing up for your own principles and choosing not to be disrespected for it.

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Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by gendut

Hi,

Just lonely and want to write something (better than being weak and contacting him right)

I don't know what happened today, I missed him .

I just recalled our last call weeks a go, before he came to me. He just adressing all of my fault and I should change so he will come back to me, sadly he doesn't understand his fault that destroy my love and our relationship,he just brush it off. Maybe because the whole time I always forgave him, he thinks that flirting in chat with another girl was just little thing.

I was so mad at me to love a shallow man like that.

He can not live with messy me (apparently 3times a week of cleaning his home not enough) but I should live with his narcissist and his on and off looking for hookers anywhere.

In our last chat is also like that,he bullshitly said he does want to live and can live with only one girl (me) in his life, but I messed it up because my behavior always annoyed him.

MY BEHAVIOR! not because of him still want the thrill of new woman and ONS, but 'my behavior' (that not letting him to do so , have a trust issue on him, and being suspicious) that what destroy the relationship 🥴

Is he really stupid thinking like that? Or That's only gaslighting thingy, so he feels good of himself?

I am so mad at him but more with myself. Why am I putting myself in this situation. Why I put up with this for so long. And why I still misses him and secretly want him back.

Honestly he is doing you a big favor. By continuing to act the asshole he is making it that much easier to shut the door on him for good.

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Posted by geminiflyby

Where was the part where he was getting with hookers? Are you kidding me? You're still around after that?