IndigoSag joined February 08, 2017
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Just an update for those who are interested. As suggested by you wonderful folk, I took a deep breath, and stopped stressing.
Then later in the week when I caught up with my Aries fireman, I floated it all by him, and he had some great insight to offer as well. He suggested that I send the Irishman a text at the end of the week, but not too late, keep it simple, unemotional, and suggest if he was so inclined, we could catch up over the weekend. So I did that Thursday, and got an immediate positive response from the Irishman. He invited me out Saturday night with a group of his friends and he asked if any of my friends would like to come too. We had a wonderful night. I liked his friends, he liked mine. Much happiness.
So, everything has recalibrated, I'm not feeling overwrought by imaginary things, and content to let the Irishman take the lead. In the meantime, I'm keeping busy with life, and hanging out with friends, including my Aries fireman, who is a real hoot, and gives great advice!
Then later in the week when I caught up with my Aries fireman, I floated it all by him, and he had some great insight to offer as well. He suggested that I send the Irishman a text at the end of the week, but not too late, keep it simple, unemotional, and suggest if he was so inclined, we could catch up over the weekend. So I did that Thursday, and got an immediate positive response from the Irishman. He invited me out Saturday night with a group of his friends and he asked if any of my friends would like to come too. We had a wonderful night. I liked his friends, he liked mine. Much happiness.
So, everything has recalibrated, I'm not feeling overwrought by imaginary things, and content to let the Irishman take the lead. In the meantime, I'm keeping busy with life, and hanging out with friends, including my Aries fireman, who is a real hoot, and gives great advice!
Posted by EndlessMakes me wish I wasn't dealing with this stuff with the Irishman right now. Oh well, what will be, will be.Posted by GemitatiPosted by EndlessWill anybody good ever come? Venus is shit! Then Mercury waiting rubbing it’s hands...eager to screw up! WTF?
just wait a little bit, maybe the venus direct can shine some light on yours and his feeling, I mean, what can you lose anyway, just a couple of days.
that damn mercury though is coming.
Lol
well, after december 15 things should be somewhat easy, at least for serious encounters.
and early january should be a good time to hookup with'em, so you sweet talk them in mid december and fuck their brains in january, to celebrate the new year and what not.
also good news everybody, theres no mars or venus retrograde in 2019click to expand
Gemitati, great advice.
I was definitely feeling much more laid back when I was fielding multiple suitors. So perhaps I'll throw a line out on the dating app and see what fishes bite.
I do have another Aries that is chasing me that I've been on a few dates with. I just let him go for it, and as soon as he gets days off, he is hitting me up to see me. These two are chalk and cheese! Fireman Aries connection is like long lost friends with an edge. Irishman Aries (the one I'm getting my knickers in a knot about) it's like two cautious people circling each other. LOL
There was a Taurus skirting the scenes, but man, we were only talking on the phone, and he was planning our whole future! A total run for the hills for me!
I haven't hurt the Irishman, just showed a bit too much keenness last week.
It's nice to be able to talk about it, and hear other peoples' stories.
I was definitely feeling much more laid back when I was fielding multiple suitors. So perhaps I'll throw a line out on the dating app and see what fishes bite.
I do have another Aries that is chasing me that I've been on a few dates with. I just let him go for it, and as soon as he gets days off, he is hitting me up to see me. These two are chalk and cheese! Fireman Aries connection is like long lost friends with an edge. Irishman Aries (the one I'm getting my knickers in a knot about) it's like two cautious people circling each other. LOL
There was a Taurus skirting the scenes, but man, we were only talking on the phone, and he was planning our whole future! A total run for the hills for me!
I haven't hurt the Irishman, just showed a bit too much keenness last week.
It's nice to be able to talk about it, and hear other peoples' stories.
Thanks AriesJo,
I definitely give good eye contact LOL. First date with this Aries, he kept leaning back in his chair and smiling, as if he liked what he saw and wanted to take it all in. And damn, if I didnt like what I saw too. He gave good eye contact, oh boy! The energy isn't some burning inferno, its a smolder. He's not some Taurus trying to bulldoze my doors down (what is it with those guys?)
I'm not in love, my world wont end if we are not meant to be more than 6 dates. But I like how each date starts out shy, and builds from hand-holding to kisses, to passion. I like how easy he is to be with. How unhurried and in the moment our time together is. I like that he didnt even know my surname until he asked me on our last date. Ah, listen to me wax lyrical on this Aries. We will just chalk that up to my Venus being in Scorpio (which is a right pain in the butt.)
Endless, you are right, gotta let Venus go direct, 'cause dang if these last few days aren't wooping my arse! And I'll be doing my darndest to avoid anything of importance on Friday *shudder*. On a positive note, 'cause you know, sunny sag here, us Saggies have Jupiter coming home to us for the next 12 months, so good stuff should finally be on the horizon.
Thanks for the replies, people. Having this forum to come to and express my fears and confusions on rather than going off like a frog in a sock on this Aries, well just much gratitude. Thank you.
I definitely give good eye contact LOL. First date with this Aries, he kept leaning back in his chair and smiling, as if he liked what he saw and wanted to take it all in. And damn, if I didnt like what I saw too. He gave good eye contact, oh boy! The energy isn't some burning inferno, its a smolder. He's not some Taurus trying to bulldoze my doors down (what is it with those guys?)
I'm not in love, my world wont end if we are not meant to be more than 6 dates. But I like how each date starts out shy, and builds from hand-holding to kisses, to passion. I like how easy he is to be with. How unhurried and in the moment our time together is. I like that he didnt even know my surname until he asked me on our last date. Ah, listen to me wax lyrical on this Aries. We will just chalk that up to my Venus being in Scorpio (which is a right pain in the butt.)
Endless, you are right, gotta let Venus go direct, 'cause dang if these last few days aren't wooping my arse! And I'll be doing my darndest to avoid anything of importance on Friday *shudder*. On a positive note, 'cause you know, sunny sag here, us Saggies have Jupiter coming home to us for the next 12 months, so good stuff should finally be on the horizon.
Thanks for the replies, people. Having this forum to come to and express my fears and confusions on rather than going off like a frog in a sock on this Aries, well just much gratitude. Thank you.
Thanks AriesJo, I appreciate your responses.
- Having been single myself for over 4 years, I appreciate this Aries is used to his freedom and his own company, I sure am. I don't know how to convey I'm no more interested in taking his freedom than I am in losing mine, except to back right off and give him space.
- yeah, taking it into the bedroom has definitely gotten me feeling invested, which I totally didn't want to have happen. So my bad for letting it go there. I felt ready, and felt he was patient.
- I guess the dating app thing goes both ways, although he disappeared from the app for a few weeks, Ive kept my profile active as i have 'tried' to have a wise head and not get invested in something that might not go anywhere.
- thank you! I will not ask if he's interested. Honestly, until this last weekend, his interest was obvious.
- and yes, i absolutely think I showed too much interest and enthusiasm last week, trying to take the lead when previously Id left it up to him to make contact and pursue me for dates.
- and yes again, no need to dwell on the past. Which is one of the things i enjoy about spending time with this Aries: neither of us talk about the past. We both answer the occasional question, but otherwise we never talk about our exes. They don't matter. We talk about background, family, aspirations, but not exes.
I know I've got to get out of my head, I'm just thankful apart from being over zealous last week, he doesn't know I'm going through any of this stuff, worrying, overthinking everything.
Fingers crossed I'll hear from him again. I actually really like the cautious pace we had going, and I'm sorry I pushed it a bit last week, I wanted more of the good stuff and I chased after it instead of letting him deliver it.
- Having been single myself for over 4 years, I appreciate this Aries is used to his freedom and his own company, I sure am. I don't know how to convey I'm no more interested in taking his freedom than I am in losing mine, except to back right off and give him space.
- yeah, taking it into the bedroom has definitely gotten me feeling invested, which I totally didn't want to have happen. So my bad for letting it go there. I felt ready, and felt he was patient.
- I guess the dating app thing goes both ways, although he disappeared from the app for a few weeks, Ive kept my profile active as i have 'tried' to have a wise head and not get invested in something that might not go anywhere.
- thank you! I will not ask if he's interested. Honestly, until this last weekend, his interest was obvious.
- and yes, i absolutely think I showed too much interest and enthusiasm last week, trying to take the lead when previously Id left it up to him to make contact and pursue me for dates.
- and yes again, no need to dwell on the past. Which is one of the things i enjoy about spending time with this Aries: neither of us talk about the past. We both answer the occasional question, but otherwise we never talk about our exes. They don't matter. We talk about background, family, aspirations, but not exes.
I know I've got to get out of my head, I'm just thankful apart from being over zealous last week, he doesn't know I'm going through any of this stuff, worrying, overthinking everything.
Fingers crossed I'll hear from him again. I actually really like the cautious pace we had going, and I'm sorry I pushed it a bit last week, I wanted more of the good stuff and I chased after it instead of letting him deliver it.
Thanks Sag898. I was married to an Aries, and I do have another Aries pursuing me. Aries men seem to find me attractive, which I'll chalk it up to my Aries Moon and Aries Rising. I'm a long way from wanting "commitment" or a "traditional" relationship, but am enjoying this man's company, and would like to enjoy it further. There hasn't even been the whiff of a "relationship talk." I'm just so perplexed by the sudden withdrawal. Interestingly, I believe this Aries man has a Sag Moon and Sag Rising. LOL
Hi. I'm a Sag that was being pursued by an Aries, right up until the weekend just gone. We've only been on 6 dates, and the last 2 we were intimate, where he asked me to spend the night at his house, and meet his temporary housemates. That last weekend we spent together, I willing stayed the night, then he took me out kayaking the following morning. The connection felt great, and he was very easy to be with, un-rushed, and not heavy. I know he has been very hurt in the past by the woman I think he considers the love his life, and the only woman he said he's ever wanted to marry. I believe she actually has married in the last couple of weeks. He has remained single for the past 4 plus years, having had only the "occasional fling." I was ambivalent on the first few dates, having also not dated for more than 4 years, recovering from an abusive relationship. I've been out on a few one-off dates, this is the first guy I wanted to see again, and the first one I've let touch me. After pursuing me persistently, and eagerly setting up each date consecutively, and being respectful when I declined to hit the bedroom with him, for our 5th date, he took me to his work Christmas party and introduced me to his boss, colleagues, and friends. His friends pulled me aside and said in the past 4 years, he has never brought a date to anything. At the end of the evening, he again asked if I would spend the night with him, and made it clear it was okay if I said no. I accepted the offer, and we had a beautiful night together. We then teed up to spend the next weekend together, he asked me over to his house, cooked me dinner, was attentive and loving. The next morning, he took my kayaking. We had a lot of fun, and he apologised that things were rushed and he couldn't spend more time with me due to other obligations. From the first date, there was never a lot of texting, just get the next date lined up and we're good, and then an occasional, "how's you're week going" message. The week after the Christmas party was probably the most we texted, when he checked in with me on a daily basis. Last week, after the overnight at his house and kayaking the next day, he didn't text me for a couple of days, but responded immediately when I texted him. He showed interest in teeing up to see me on Saturday, but then Saturday morning asked if we could see each other Sunday (yesterday) instead. He worked Saturday, and said he wanted to work on his motorbike (it's the first weekend he's had to himself since I met him between work commitments, and house guests). Yesterday (Sunday) he just didn't contact me, and last night I saw he was back on the dating app where we met. It feels like as soon as I reciprocated interest in him, he has pulled away. Do I just give him space and time to be okay? I know he's seen that I'm also still on the dating app we met on. I'm not pursuing anybody else, as I wanted to see what would develop with this lovely man. I would like to play my cards right, and not make assumptions, not be a twit about it all. If he doesn't contact me in a certain amount of time (I'm inclined to leave it until Venus goes well and truly direct), should I reach out? Should I just ask if he's interested? I don't want to write him off if he's just found the connection more than he expected, and needs time, and I don't want to flog a dead horse. Would much prefer a "Hey thanks for the dates, I don't think this is a goer." I know it's only been like yesterday that he totally blew me off, and I feel like the tail end of this Venus in Retrograde is messing with me big time, but would appreciate any insight or advice people have. Much gratitude in advance.
Just wondering how my fellow Sag's are travelling with the Venus retrograde. I personally am struggling big time with thoughts of the Taurean I'm in love with. Is it unrequited? Is he ever going to step up? Dang, it's hard not to do the reach out! I haven't had any past lovers show up yet. How about you all, anybody having any strange experiences currently?
I've found Aries men want to change me, or think that "I'll grow out of," something.
I've found Leo men want me to mother them, which is cool if we're friends, but not so much if we're lovers.
I've found Gemini men are uncomfortable with my emotional expression. That look of, "Oh dear god, please don't get that on me!" Make great friends though.
My closest friends have been Sags and Cappys to date, though strangely enough, I'm getting a lot of Taureans gravitating towards me recently. And I'm very deeply in love with a Taurus, which is horrible crap 'cause he is moving at a glacial pace. At least, I think he is moving. It's been about 14 months since he indicated interest, and I am yet to see any further development. But I wants him so! LOL
I think I'd avoid Librans.
Sag men seem to find me attractive, but I never feel anything but platonic towards them. Of course, I only ever have romantic feelings for one person at a time, and the rest of the world lives in the friend zone.
I've found Leo men want me to mother them, which is cool if we're friends, but not so much if we're lovers.
I've found Gemini men are uncomfortable with my emotional expression. That look of, "Oh dear god, please don't get that on me!" Make great friends though.
My closest friends have been Sags and Cappys to date, though strangely enough, I'm getting a lot of Taureans gravitating towards me recently. And I'm very deeply in love with a Taurus, which is horrible crap 'cause he is moving at a glacial pace. At least, I think he is moving. It's been about 14 months since he indicated interest, and I am yet to see any further development. But I wants him so! LOL
I think I'd avoid Librans.
Sag men seem to find me attractive, but I never feel anything but platonic towards them. Of course, I only ever have romantic feelings for one person at a time, and the rest of the world lives in the friend zone.
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100Yes, I think he is being honest about where he is at. I'll find my place of calm again. Sometimes it's a godsend when I don't hear from him, because there can be calmness in me. Sometimes the contact riles me up way too much. Anyhow, he does have a message from me from last weekend where I've asked him to call when he has time so I can get his advice on an issue I'm having. I've had no response, but I'm sure I will at some point. Probably in a few weeks. I think he is careful to not have too much contact because he senses I get a bit rile up. I'm proud of myself for the recent contact, maybe I sent one text message more than I needed to, but I haven't escalated and bombed his phone out. Yah for me! I'm sure he is appreciating that.Posted by IndigoSagAs C4U said, u will know when it's time..... At least he is being honest with you and giving you a choice...Posted by Crazy4uOh my gosh, thank you. Yes, when my Taurus and I talk, it's never shorter than an hour, and frequently 2 to 4 hours long. He just doesn't want to end the call! In the beginning, he was the one who initiated all the long talks. He wanted to go from text messages to Skype, and he would initiate all the calls.Posted by IndigoSagPosted by JohnTheBaptist100Posted by Crazy4uExactly this..Posted by JohnTheBaptist100This all day long. I've known my Taurus 17 yrs total! He is like no one else but when we talk if I am upset about it he wants to know all the details to solve it. Plus I better be crying for a good reason. i personally like it as I'm usually very logical but if I get tipped over the edge I need to be brought down to earth. Get your thoughts together which can sometimes be hard, but know they are just like that and it is not you.Posted by jeaneBut one thing I have to say OP (my sister is also a sag), I have noticed that you guys cry alot... That is something us earthlings are not good at understanding. In fact emotions like this makes us nervous. I have had turmoil with my current beau but have never resorted to leaving tearful messages of emotion on the phone... We don't respond in an emotional manner. It makes us feel even more guilty and we retreat instead. We can't deal with it.
Now you be friends. Don't abandon him at his lowest time. If you truly want this guy, think he is the one for you and trust that he has good intentions, then be the best friend he has had by giving him what he needs at this time.
Love truly is selfless and kind.
This is not to say be a doormat. Have your boundaries and stick to them but I can't see why you wouldn't give him your friendship and support.
Like John has said before they need to know you will be there for them through thick and thin, just like they would for you. If you walk away, that speaks volumes about the type of person you are.
If you are hurt and upset.. Speak in a logical way, point by point manner. State clearly your needs and what you need to make the situation better. Even put your emotions in a text but make it coherent and concise. Think logic not emotion until you have formed a deep emotional connection with us and even then, put your emotions in a logical format... We run from emotions as we do feel very deeply.
We have emotions to but we will not let them over run us... That's when the logical part steps in and takes over.... Or our emotions stay buried deep beneath the earth until we explode hence our bad tempers.
Whereas a water sign will let their emotions run them over until the well is empty..... Especially Pisces!
I envy the logic, truly! To experience emotion in a way that washes away all logical thought is quite difficult. Though I'm sure many a Taurus missed out on something wonderful when their logic created a barrier they logically couldn't surmount, when love can conquer all.
My Taurus has told me I over think everything. He's told me he feels more for me than he could ever express, deeper than he can say, and he's cried and expressed a desire to not lose me from his life.
But then he's gone again. There are no actions to support the words.
In the intense phone call where we both cried, I asked him what should I do next. And he said, just check in on me, and I'll check in on you too. And he texted me the next few days in a row...and then he was gone again. A few more texts around my birthday a month later, and then he was gone again.
I'm frustrated with myself because I thought I was being so careful, kept checking in with my Taurus to make sure he was a safe place to put my heart. Over and over again he said yes, yes, yes, that was exactly what he wanted. And then when it's done and I've fallen, he's gone!
Seems to be a common Taurus trait.
I'm drafting up a letter to my Taurus. I'm scared to send it, I'm scared not to send it. I wish I could just be getting on with my life, like all the advice I've read says to do. But what does that look like when it comes to my heart? I should just get out and have a few relationships so my Taurus can see me as desirable and someone worth pursuing and having - more advice I've read. But that's not how my heart works. I told my Taurus that right at the start. *sigh* I'm not going to be looking for any relationships. This needs to start or end before I'm emotionally available to anyone for anything else.
I want to punch my Taurus in the face for being such a jerk and messing with me when I tried so hard to be careful, and I told him what I was like. I want to kick myself in the arse for being so bloody hung up on this man!
I want to lie on the floor and have a great big Sag tantrum fit and rant about not getting my own way!
But really what I want is to understand my situation. Understand if this is a hopeless case. Understand if this Taurus is a bad egg and will never do right by me. Or understand that this Taurus is a Taurus who after 2 failed relationships, just can't move any faster than he is moving. I don't want to walk away from somebody I shouldn't walk away from. I don't want to stay in a situation I shouldn't stay in.
And I can't intuit the right answer, because I'm too bloody emotional. LOL
John, I'm nearly done drafting my letter, if you are still open to "critiquing" it for me, I have sent you a private message, hopefully I did it right. I'll wait to hear from you via PM about that.
I understand what you're saying. That push pull/hot cold feeling. Sometimes I wonder if it is what we are used to. That is, most men when they want you, are around or not, if they aren't interested.
I found with my Taurus (which I can only really appreciate now) is he has always been there, around somewhere. For something. No fan fares or crazy gestures but just there. I dont look at his silences the same anymore as I don't take it personally now. When I want to say something I just msg or call. He will respond but sometimes I won't hear from him unless I contact him. But we would talk for over an hour sometimes. I used to wonder why he didn't call me first.
He is a bit emotionally guarded too at the moment so I guess it really is just perseverance and coming to terms with the fact that you will perhaps have to be patient and see what happens or just remain friends and move on. Don't put pressure on the decision. That is what can make it worse and emotions heightened. Let it flow. When you have had enough you will know
He is quite emotionally guarded, and I wonder if the times I've gotten over the wall and he's exposed some of the real feeling - and he will expose some very raw stuff to me at times - what happens to him after that. Definitely he retreats.
I have put pressure on a decision, because I came so far and I thought he was waiting. He told me he wants to give me quality not quantity, and can't give me quality at the moment. That he is not able to have a relationship at the moment. He phrased it "It's not just you I can't have a relationship with. If a woman walked down the street tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with her." I think that was supposed to reassure me. LOL
Every time I think I've had enough, I find I've a bit more in reserve, and I calm my farm.click to expand
I frequently wonder why he doesn't just block me. I told him he would have to be cruel to me so I could get over him and move on. He said he didn't want to be cruel to me. Slowly, slowly, I am learning to reign in the forest fire, and keep the flame low and steady.
I can't help but appreciate the opportunity for personal growth and self-reflection my Taurus gives me.
When I've said "people tell me I should tell you to fluff off," he has said "people don't understand what we've been through and what we are to each other."
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100Yes, I am definitely all hot and constantly moving. LOL
OP, what you have to realise is that your sun elements work in a completely different way.
The element of earth is grounded and at a standstill unless there is a volcano lol
The element of fire is hot and is constantly moving...
To get with a Taurus understand these two elements. If a Taurus has a lot things going on whether financial, work, relocating, children, exes anything new will be forced to the back of their minds. They are not the types to multitask. So all the other stuff will come before anything else...
If a Taurus male cannot give you a full on relationship because the "practicalities of life" have got in the way he will disconnect parts of his brain and only concentrate on those things he feels are urgent to deal with whether it be his kids, money problems etc. He will tell you He will tell you he can't give you a full relationship and then it is for you to either wait till he has cleared up some of the mess so he can give you some attention or move on..
When I say decide to wait or move on with your life... It means don't sit by a phone or have too high expectations. Go out with the girls have fun do your normal hobbies.. Ie live your life... If another guy comes and you fall for him then perhaps your Taurus was not meant for you afterall... That is why tauruses don't really expect people to wait for them as the majority of people don't have that stamina or patience..
That is why to have a Taurus male in your life you need enormous amounts of patience..
If you have a deep emotional connection with a Taurus you can go for months and still feel his "presence". You are not apart - he is always with you. Therefore months could pass until you reconnect and it is like there was no distance between you at all. You feel it within your soul that he is within you and you are within him.
I hope this makes sense.
With a Taurus you cannot force something on him if he is not in a position to give you his all as other things have got in the way.. You learn to live at his pace or move on and find someone else.
When he says check in it just means every few weeks just text to say hi how are you and vice versa. You have to adapt to his "rhythm". When they are connected to you they have a rhythm that you will understand. Their "disappearing" will be no surprise to you as you will know that is a part of their rhythm. A Taurus man will always have this in them.
A Taurus man who is true and loyal is the best you can get and he will look after you so well, but there is a lot of work to be done before you can get your hands permanently on one and that's where loyalty and Enduring patience comes in.
And "dating others" was the mentality of sag which I don't like. Sags are great but their loyalty is not the sort of loyalty a Taurus looks for.
If the Taurus is back in your life but cannot give you the attention you want and he is not dating other but find out you are that will be the final nail in the coffin...
A Taurus man knows they are hard to deal with and take patience and this is the part that worries them.. They don't meet enough high calibre women who can endure with them the length of time that is required without that woman needing the attention of other men and dating others men.
A Taurus looks for a woman who he is into and is into him and understands that life is difficult but she will stand by him and get to know him and become his bestfriend and will he with ONLY him. This is where sags fail.
I'm also up for an adventure. And understanding that quality in myself, it's easy for me to be willing to be the one that moves to him. I'm fortunate that I work for myself, and as long as I have an internet connection, I can work and earn. I've been doing the same job for the last 15 years, doesn't matter what country I'm in.
My Taurus said to me in one of our Skype talks during the period when he was actively making plans with me that he was sorry I was the one that had to do all the hard work for us to be together. There was a lot of sincerity and a hint of sadness to this statement.
His job is very demanding. He is a corrections officer in a youth detention centre. 12 hour shifts. And what he encounters on a daily basis is very confronting and at times dangerous. He has not seen his children in several years as he does not have an amicable relationship with his ex-wife. With the ex-long-term relationship, she was his partner for 6 years, and his hostile housemate for 2 years.
If I am honest, I can't see him being emotionally able to offer me anything this year. He has only been fully free of his long-term ex since the end of October. I think he hoped he would be able to "detox" that relationship quickly, which is funny really. Time doesn't move for him like it does for me! Talking last week, he couldn't believe January was already finished, while I was like "is this month ever going to end?"
In our emotional phone call last November, I said I just wanted him to see that I was loyal, dependable, stable, not going anywhere, had his best interests at heart, that I was good relationship material. And he said "What makes you think I don't see that?"
So maybe he's giving me all the signs he can in his Taurus way?
I am learning to have patience, and the battle is real! I think my Taurus loves the heat, but does need to see it's a steady flame. I don't know whether the trip in October was good or bad. It was very bittersweet. The first night all he wanted to do was nestle his face in my neck and hold me. The second night we ate in the room, while watching a comedy, and laughed and laughed. It was comfortable and slow. A gentle kiss on the face while we're snuggling and watching TV in bed. But when we were out and about, he would not hold my hand, or touch me at all in public. And he was a little relentless with the teasing! I've got an offbeat sense of humour, like he has, but at one point he went overboard and actually hurt my feelings. When I told him I didn't understand why he'd said what he'd said, and that I'd found it hurtful, he immediately apologised and said that was not his intention.
Nail on the head, John, a lot of the "you just need to get out and date other people" advice is coming from my fellow Sag's. And it's peeving me! How you describe "getting on with life" is what I do want to be doing. Being back in Australia and finding it feels so foreign, I'm very homesick for my old life in the US, and I think this is half my struggle at the moment. I don't have the support networks I had, the social life I had, the roles and activities I participated in, in my community. I have to keep working on rebuilding my life. I'm not interested in "dating". I'm emotionally unavailable, and I have no desire to be getting physical with anybody but my Taurus. I actually can't bear the thought of another man touching me! (And my Taurus knows that.) I definitely don't need the attention of other men or to be dating other men.
My Taurus on the other hand, has let me know that he does on occasion do casual hook ups. He's told me he is monogamous when he enters into a relationship, but when he is not in a relationship, he enjoys these physical liaisons. Hurts my heart and I feel sad about that.
I am appreciating very much the insight you and Crazy are offering me. I have loving friends, but I do not talk to them about my Taurus any more, as I am sick to death of them badmouthing him.
Being that you can't force something with a Taurus, I'm thinking that maybe writing a letter is cathartic for me, but sending a letter will only come across as me trying to force him into something he can't do at this point in time. I can set everything out logically, but at the end of the day, the letter will have an ultimatum: step up or get lost. But I don't want him to get lost.
I want me to be patient and get on with my life, and I want him to have the time he needs.
Posted by Crazy4uOh my gosh, thank you. Yes, when my Taurus and I talk, it's never shorter than an hour, and frequently 2 to 4 hours long. He just doesn't want to end the call! In the beginning, he was the one who initiated all the long talks. He wanted to go from text messages to Skype, and he would initiate all the calls.Posted by IndigoSagPosted by JohnTheBaptist100Posted by Crazy4uExactly this..Posted by JohnTheBaptist100This all day long. I've known my Taurus 17 yrs total! He is like no one else but when we talk if I am upset about it he wants to know all the details to solve it. Plus I better be crying for a good reason. i personally like it as I'm usually very logical but if I get tipped over the edge I need to be brought down to earth. Get your thoughts together which can sometimes be hard, but know they are just like that and it is not you.Posted by jeaneBut one thing I have to say OP (my sister is also a sag), I have noticed that you guys cry alot... That is something us earthlings are not good at understanding. In fact emotions like this makes us nervous. I have had turmoil with my current beau but have never resorted to leaving tearful messages of emotion on the phone... We don't respond in an emotional manner. It makes us feel even more guilty and we retreat instead. We can't deal with it.
Now you be friends. Don't abandon him at his lowest time. If you truly want this guy, think he is the one for you and trust that he has good intentions, then be the best friend he has had by giving him what he needs at this time.
Love truly is selfless and kind.
This is not to say be a doormat. Have your boundaries and stick to them but I can't see why you wouldn't give him your friendship and support.
Like John has said before they need to know you will be there for them through thick and thin, just like they would for you. If you walk away, that speaks volumes about the type of person you are.
If you are hurt and upset.. Speak in a logical way, point by point manner. State clearly your needs and what you need to make the situation better. Even put your emotions in a text but make it coherent and concise. Think logic not emotion until you have formed a deep emotional connection with us and even then, put your emotions in a logical format... We run from emotions as we do feel very deeply.
We have emotions to but we will not let them over run us... That's when the logical part steps in and takes over.... Or our emotions stay buried deep beneath the earth until we explode hence our bad tempers.
Whereas a water sign will let their emotions run them over until the well is empty..... Especially Pisces!
I envy the logic, truly! To experience emotion in a way that washes away all logical thought is quite difficult. Though I'm sure many a Taurus missed out on something wonderful when their logic created a barrier they logically couldn't surmount, when love can conquer all.
My Taurus has told me I over think everything. He's told me he feels more for me than he could ever express, deeper than he can say, and he's cried and expressed a desire to not lose me from his life.
But then he's gone again. There are no actions to support the words.
In the intense phone call where we both cried, I asked him what should I do next. And he said, just check in on me, and I'll check in on you too. And he texted me the next few days in a row...and then he was gone again. A few more texts around my birthday a month later, and then he was gone again.
I'm frustrated with myself because I thought I was being so careful, kept checking in with my Taurus to make sure he was a safe place to put my heart. Over and over again he said yes, yes, yes, that was exactly what he wanted. And then when it's done and I've fallen, he's gone!
Seems to be a common Taurus trait.
I'm drafting up a letter to my Taurus. I'm scared to send it, I'm scared not to send it. I wish I could just be getting on with my life, like all the advice I've read says to do. But what does that look like when it comes to my heart? I should just get out and have a few relationships so my Taurus can see me as desirable and someone worth pursuing and having - more advice I've read. But that's not how my heart works. I told my Taurus that right at the start. *sigh* I'm not going to be looking for any relationships. This needs to start or end before I'm emotionally available to anyone for anything else.
I want to punch my Taurus in the face for being such a jerk and messing with me when I tried so hard to be careful, and I told him what I was like. I want to kick myself in the arse for being so bloody hung up on this man!
I want to lie on the floor and have a great big Sag tantrum fit and rant about not getting my own way!
But really what I want is to understand my situation. Understand if this is a hopeless case. Understand if this Taurus is a bad egg and will never do right by me. Or understand that this Taurus is a Taurus who after 2 failed relationships, just can't move any faster than he is moving. I don't want to walk away from somebody I shouldn't walk away from. I don't want to stay in a situation I shouldn't stay in.
And I can't intuit the right answer, because I'm too bloody emotional. LOL
John, I'm nearly done drafting my letter, if you are still open to "critiquing" it for me, I have sent you a private message, hopefully I did it right. I'll wait to hear from you via PM about that.
I understand what you're saying. That push pull/hot cold feeling. Sometimes I wonder if it is what we are used to. That is, most men when they want you, are around or not, if they aren't interested.
I found with my Taurus (which I can only really appreciate now) is he has always been there, around somewhere. For something. No fan fares or crazy gestures but just there. I dont look at his silences the same anymore as I don't take it personally now. When I want to say something I just msg or call. He will respond but sometimes I won't hear from him unless I contact him. But we would talk for over an hour sometimes. I used to wonder why he didn't call me first.
He is a bit emotionally guarded too at the moment so I guess it really is just perseverance and coming to terms with the fact that you will perhaps have to be patient and see what happens or just remain friends and move on. Don't put pressure on the decision. That is what can make it worse and emotions heightened. Let it flow. When you have had enough you will knowclick to expand
He is quite emotionally guarded, and I wonder if the times I've gotten over the wall and he's exposed some of the real feeling - and he will expose some very raw stuff to me at times - what happens to him after that. Definitely he retreats.
I have put pressure on a decision, because I came so far and I thought he was waiting. He told me he wants to give me quality not quantity, and can't give me quality at the moment. That he is not able to have a relationship at the moment. He phrased it "It's not just you I can't have a relationship with. If a woman walked down the street tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with her." I think that was supposed to reassure me. LOL
Every time I think I've had enough, I find I've a bit more in reserve, and I calm my farm.
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Aries Men
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@IndigoSag
Joined: Feb 08, 2017 · Topics: 3 · Posts: 28
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@IndigoSag
Joined: Feb 08, 2017 · Topics: 3 · Posts: 28
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@IndigoSag
Joined: Feb 08, 2017 · Topics: 3 · Posts: 28