I'm still done with him. It's been over a month since we last talked and I'm still bothered by it. A couple of days ago, I asked my cousin to pose as somebody different and to talk to him. To only see if he was really true with me, after all I've had feelings for him for a year and a half.
Yes, I know I'm wrong for setting him up but what ever. I'm angry to find out that he's opening up to a complete stranger, telling her things he'd never tell me. Talking for hours. He told her why he doesn't really want to be in a serious relationship. He hasn't found the one yet.
HELLO! I could have sworn that I was, not to long ago. I just can't believe that somebody who used to tell me they loved me, couldn't even be real with me. I texted him today to say hi and he didn't say anything.
I'm giving up. I can't deal with him anymore. Saturday I texted him and said I missed him. He didn't even answer me, but Sunday I tell him to wish his mother a Happy Mother's Day. HE RESPONDED! and I know he only did that to not be disrespectful. Last night I texted him and still nothing. I know I broke the rule of giving him his space, but he ignored me for a whole week. That's enough. I'm not in the mood anymore to keep playing his game.
I'm tired of waiting until he comes around. Comes around off of some b.s, I said one hurtful thing and I'm the bad guy. He ignores me, hurts my feelings countless times, and takes me on this emotional rollercoaster because he's in denial of his feelings. But I'm the one feeling bad and apologizing...
I know moodiness and everything else is part of his Cancer nature, but it's time that he starts admiting when he's wrong. If he was to come back to me our problem will always be there. I hope he doesn't think that everytime we get into it, he runs away and I'll be wait until he comes back. I think not.
One of these days he's going to come running back and I won't be there.
As much as it hurts me to not be there....
I'm hanging in there. I feel asleep during a text I was going to send him. So that happened for a reason, because if I was going send it then I know I would have felt like an asshole. I feel great this morning, I'm go running...
I know I should wait until he comes around, but I have this urge of wanting to call him. I'm impatient.....
Cansir
I just wanted to say thank you, because you have been very helpful and understanding of my situation. I'm just glad that somebody understands that I shouldn't take all the blame. That just relieves me and makes me realize that I should just start taking care of me.
I'll be waiting for him, but he better not make me wait forever.
Thank you, I appreciate everybody's feedback. I want him in my life so I'm just going to have to pick up the pieces and keep it moving. I'm a start biting my tongue (thanks alot dad lol) and give him his space. But the only thing I'm afraid is that when I give him his space he's not going to come back. And if he does, what if it's too late and I moved on, that would tear my heart apart. I'm still upset because I feel like why am I taking all the blame and feeling bad. I said what I said and I was wrong. He did what he did.....???? nothing. His actions caused me to say those things, but I'm paying for it ....that hurts.
I'm a pisces woman who's so in love with my cancer man. But loving him is killing me. I feel so emotionally drained. He plays these mind games and he plays it well. He stops calling and when I call no answer. Doesn't text me back, even when I tell him I miss him. And when we do talk, he acts different and gives me a hard time. I know sometimes he just likes to get under my skin and see me boil. But I'm tired of that plus we never see each other. I've told him many times he's pushing me away from him and he says no he's not. But my biggest thing with him is FEELINGS. One day I asked him if he loved me and he said "You know that answer." No I don't, I'm not a mind reader. I tell him so many times that I'm confused with him because he can never give me a straight answer about how he's feeling and what's going on in his life.
Recently I told him, I was letting go because I didn't want to get hurt anymore than I already was. That's not what I told him but he asked me why was I letting go and I told him that he was always the one to say it wasn't going to work and he was right. I got frustrated and pissed because all he said after that was okay. OKAY??? I felt like he was easily letting me go because he didn't care or love me. So I sent him nothing but "hate" messages. Not that I hate him, but like "oh you never loved me. i wish i never met you." Ever since then I've been writing him and calling and he doesn't answers. I knew I messed up when I said that.
Last night we talked and he said that I let him go because of a dumb ass reason. I know he thinks it's because of the phone thing, but no it's more than that. It's my feelings and still he has over looked that after I told him I was hurt. I apologized for the mean things I said, but he didn't apologize for my hurt feelings. Then he tells me the things I said didn't hurt him. I felt so stupid because I was aplogizing for it and for things that weren't my fault. Now he goes back to ignoring me. I love him but he needs to stop acting insensitive. I don't want to let him go, I'm just not ready for that. But the more I tell him how I feel it seems like he doesn't get it.... I want him in my life but I know it's going to be difficult to get him back. But it's funny how he turned himself into the victim when I was the one hurting.