MaryneBiologist joined December 28, 2008
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"However, this case is different. He is coming back and telling his wife what this ?friend? is saying and not filtering the content, in other words he is communicating with her. She may not like what he discloses but at least he is being honest. Some men would talk filth behind their spouses back to another woman unbeknownst to the spouse, which could end up in an ultimate shock due to disbelief of the man acting in such a manner, resulting in a nasty break because of his secrets."
Hmm, I see what you are saying, Lady_Taurus, but that might just be the curse of being Cancerian. They, in my experience, aren't good liars. My husband is a Scorp, but he has very significant Cancer placements and many of my good male friends are also Cancers. I can count on one hand the amount of times they've been able to put one over on me. They simply aren't good at it.
I don't know that we have enough information that the OP's husband wants to or is fuck(ing) his coworker. He may see this woman as "safe" because she is significantly older and apparently is receptive to this type of talk. However, it is just inappropriate on many levels. A woman who is in a relationship - the OP says this coworker is also married - has NO business telling another man what the hair on her pussy looks like. Period. So this woman has very shady boundaries and it could be that the OP's husband sees nothing wrong with that because he is naturally open himself.
But I tend to think that the OP's husband might be either consciously or subconsciously pushing her buttons. My husband does this at times and many of my Cancer friends have, as well. I re-read the first post and it seems like this behavior has been going on for awhile. It could be that the Cancer husband is "escalating" because he senses his wife is being dishonest about how much it bothers her. I know when my husband feels someone is being less than honest with his feelings, he ratchets up the pressure more and more until that person finally snaps. It could be the OP's husband is trying to see her "breaking" point. And as I believe that a marriage has no room for these type of games, I agree that the OP needs to have a straightforward talk with him. If it sends him in his shell, so be it, but if he loves and values her, he will spend that time in his shell thinking about how to make it up to her.
Hmm, I see what you are saying, Lady_Taurus, but that might just be the curse of being Cancerian. They, in my experience, aren't good liars. My husband is a Scorp, but he has very significant Cancer placements and many of my good male friends are also Cancers. I can count on one hand the amount of times they've been able to put one over on me. They simply aren't good at it.
I don't know that we have enough information that the OP's husband wants to or is fuck(ing) his coworker. He may see this woman as "safe" because she is significantly older and apparently is receptive to this type of talk. However, it is just inappropriate on many levels. A woman who is in a relationship - the OP says this coworker is also married - has NO business telling another man what the hair on her pussy looks like. Period. So this woman has very shady boundaries and it could be that the OP's husband sees nothing wrong with that because he is naturally open himself.
But I tend to think that the OP's husband might be either consciously or subconsciously pushing her buttons. My husband does this at times and many of my Cancer friends have, as well. I re-read the first post and it seems like this behavior has been going on for awhile. It could be that the Cancer husband is "escalating" because he senses his wife is being dishonest about how much it bothers her. I know when my husband feels someone is being less than honest with his feelings, he ratchets up the pressure more and more until that person finally snaps. It could be the OP's husband is trying to see her "breaking" point. And as I believe that a marriage has no room for these type of games, I agree that the OP needs to have a straightforward talk with him. If it sends him in his shell, so be it, but if he loves and values her, he will spend that time in his shell thinking about how to make it up to her.
Tiki, exactly. If OP laughs it off, I think this guy will take it as green light to continue with this, since some men don't know subtlety, and he might pick up on her using humor as a front. It may be perfectly innocent as far as his intentions go, but it is still mad inappropriate. I know tons of Cancers and they are all about hearth and home, they don't make life partner decisions too lightly. But sometimes a man likes to know what he can get away with and until he gets that ass kicked, he'll keep doing it.
Hm, Lady Taurus, I'm not sure I agree with you. In a marriage, there should be open communication, IMO. If the op feels a type of way about the type of relationship her husband has with this coworker (and I don't blame her), I don't think joking would be the way to go about it. I always think of Cancers as preferring the truth to a lie.
I also disagree that disclosure = no intentions. We've all heard about the guy who mentioned a certain coworker or person he "can't stand" to his SO only to dump her for this same person months down the road. I always think that, on the contrary, the more someone talks about another person, the more suspicious it looks.
I also disagree that disclosure = no intentions. We've all heard about the guy who mentioned a certain coworker or person he "can't stand" to his SO only to dump her for this same person months down the road. I always think that, on the contrary, the more someone talks about another person, the more suspicious it looks.
I've known exactly one man who was too busy for a relationship. He later got married when he retired. I do think that men and women, regardless of sign, will make time for a relationship that they feel they want to be in.
I don't know what DL means, but I know my husb. does not like men in that way.
The friend's bday is in mid-October, so I guess he is a Libra. My husband has a Virgo moon, Cancer rising, Merc, Mars in Scorpio.
The friend does not care for me, but he does not care for most people. When it was known he wasn't coming last night, one of my husb.'s friends said "Wow, we actually have a chance at a good time now."
The friend does not care for me, but he does not care for most people. When it was known he wasn't coming last night, one of my husb.'s friends said "Wow, we actually have a chance at a good time now."
My dh has this "friend" (I use the term lightly) who brings him, and us by extension, nothing but misery. The guy is single, misogynistic, very rude and loud and just a miserable person. When my husband told this friend he was going to marry me, the friend actually told him that he (my now-husband) should go around and fuck at least a dozen Asian women THEN see if he wanted to marry me (the friend has a thing for Asians, I think). Then the friend bailed on attending our wedding, which hurt my husband a lot. Still, whenever this friend calls, my husband will chat with him like all is well, and the friend pulls more shit that hurts him and the cycle begins again.
And now it is affecting us. Last night, my husband ordered the Mixed Martial Arts pay per view, invited some of his friends, including this asshole. The asshole said he'd love to come, which made my husb very happy since they hadn't seen each other in awhile. Night comes, my husb's friends come - guess who NEVER shows? Or calls? Or picks up my husb's repeated calls and texts? It put my husb into a horrible mood, which he then tried to take out on me, and I told him to stop that shit. He then said that probably the guy was sick or something came up. And guess who calls around noon? Asshole. His excuse? "Eh, thought about it and didn't want to bother." His EXACT words, according to my husb. To his credit, husb then said, "Well, then we won't bother continuing the conversation" and hung up. But then 15 mins later, asshole calls again and my husb listens patiently to whatever is being said, and by the end of the call, all is well between them, but now my husb is depressed and hiding in his room. I know better than to bother him - it'll be sting city and I'm not really in the mood for all that.
I do not understand why he continues to allow himself to be victimized by this idiot. Also, I am 6 mos. pregnant, and I'm not trying to deal with all these stupid Scorpio mood swings, esp. when it's over a waste of time as this guy is. He's not an "old" friend - he's the roommate of a guy my husb went to school with. They reconnected on Facebook and started hanging out because they lived in the same area. And my logical Virgo brain doesn't get why this idiot gets chance after chance and I - the wife, mother of the children - have to bear the brunt.
Is this a Scorpio thing to never let a friend go, no matter how shitty they treat them?
And now it is affecting us. Last night, my husband ordered the Mixed Martial Arts pay per view, invited some of his friends, including this asshole. The asshole said he'd love to come, which made my husb very happy since they hadn't seen each other in awhile. Night comes, my husb's friends come - guess who NEVER shows? Or calls? Or picks up my husb's repeated calls and texts? It put my husb into a horrible mood, which he then tried to take out on me, and I told him to stop that shit. He then said that probably the guy was sick or something came up. And guess who calls around noon? Asshole. His excuse? "Eh, thought about it and didn't want to bother." His EXACT words, according to my husb. To his credit, husb then said, "Well, then we won't bother continuing the conversation" and hung up. But then 15 mins later, asshole calls again and my husb listens patiently to whatever is being said, and by the end of the call, all is well between them, but now my husb is depressed and hiding in his room. I know better than to bother him - it'll be sting city and I'm not really in the mood for all that.
I do not understand why he continues to allow himself to be victimized by this idiot. Also, I am 6 mos. pregnant, and I'm not trying to deal with all these stupid Scorpio mood swings, esp. when it's over a waste of time as this guy is. He's not an "old" friend - he's the roommate of a guy my husb went to school with. They reconnected on Facebook and started hanging out because they lived in the same area. And my logical Virgo brain doesn't get why this idiot gets chance after chance and I - the wife, mother of the children - have to bear the brunt.
Is this a Scorpio thing to never let a friend go, no matter how shitty they treat them?
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Scorpio
My dh has this friend (I use the term lightly) who brings him, and us by extension, nothing but misery. The guy is sin
@MaryneBiologist
Joined: Dec 28, 2008 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 7