Message Posts by CapintheHat
I don't necessarily disappear, I just don't keep in touch much or go out of my way to socialize. I always try to find something to do so I end up being by myself quite often. I rarely initiate contact with people but if someone contacts me then we can get right back to hanging out.
The only time I truly/permanently disappear is if I don't want to be around someone anymore.
The only time I truly/permanently disappear is if I don't want to be around someone anymore.
I'm 25 years older than my actual age, but it also said I'm sophisticated so that's good.
If I didn't know any better I'd think that friend was trying to sabotage you o_0. Kissing someone out of nowhere is ridiculous. A much better idea would've been if you used that alone time to get to know him better or to tell him how you feel. That guy is freaked the F out and even though I think he likes you he's just trying to sort things out after the kissing incident.
But instead of dealing with all this awkward mess try talking to him about this directly. Being more upfront will help you know if you should move on or not.
But instead of dealing with all this awkward mess try talking to him about this directly. Being more upfront will help you know if you should move on or not.
As soon as I notice pettiness I'm already plotting my escape 
But I don't usually make friends with petty people because I observe others behavior as much as possible before making friends.
But I don't usually make friends with petty people because I observe others behavior as much as possible before making friends.I'm not easily excited over things though. But if I am truly excited then I'll smile, giggle, or my mood will noticeably improve. If the excitement relates to a friend or loved one (e.g. they gave me a nice present or something) then I'll hug/kiss them. But no, I'm not the type of person to bounce off the walls in excitement.
Posted by capgirl69Posted by capinc
ISTJ
me TOO!click to expand
Me as well
You left your job because of your feelings for that woman? WHAAAAATTTTT? -__________________-
Much of what you've said on this thread suggests that you have rose colored glasses on (especially your last sentence about how you two would be such great lovers). Your situation sounds like unrequited love and you're just settling for friendship rather than nothing. Cap knows that she has you wrapped around her finger so that's why she doesn't mind being friends with you. And all this back and forth with the money and that text message thing is nonsense. She'll keep playing games for as long as you let her, and it's been 8 years already.
By the way, does your husband know about all this? If he's okay with your "friendship" then whatever, but don't keep him in the dark because that's not fair to him.
Much of what you've said on this thread suggests that you have rose colored glasses on (especially your last sentence about how you two would be such great lovers). Your situation sounds like unrequited love and you're just settling for friendship rather than nothing. Cap knows that she has you wrapped around her finger so that's why she doesn't mind being friends with you. And all this back and forth with the money and that text message thing is nonsense. She'll keep playing games for as long as you let her, and it's been 8 years already.
By the way, does your husband know about all this? If he's okay with your "friendship" then whatever, but don't keep him in the dark because that's not fair to him.
"...I know and will drop him because I don't want to waste my time and energy anymore. I just hope that there's a happy middle ground where we can just be friends and talk about things in life."
You know you'll drop him because you don't want to waste anymore time, yet you still hope to be friends? What kind of logic is that?
Him being depressed is not your problem so he needs to take care of that with his therapist/doctors. And forget about "warning" the other girl because that's not your responsibility either. Depressed or not, this man seems shady and the fact that he's still in your life doesn't make sense.
You know you'll drop him because you don't want to waste anymore time, yet you still hope to be friends? What kind of logic is that?
Him being depressed is not your problem so he needs to take care of that with his therapist/doctors. And forget about "warning" the other girl because that's not your responsibility either. Depressed or not, this man seems shady and the fact that he's still in your life doesn't make sense.
If a Cap was going to test someone they sure as hell wouldn't do so for YEARS. After a few encounters they would have enough info to decide whether they wanted be your friend or not. She likes you as a friend, but at this point she's not testing you-- this is just as far as your friendship is going to go.
As for this "friendship" it sounds like you want something more than that (platonic or not) and I doubt that you're going to get it. Any kind of romantic relationship would be highly problematic anyways because you're married with kids and she has a boyfriend, PLUS from my understanding you're co-workers. Overall, you seem way more interested in her than she is in you, so you getting your hopes up by thinking she's "testing you" is just going to end in disappointment :/
As for this "friendship" it sounds like you want something more than that (platonic or not) and I doubt that you're going to get it. Any kind of romantic relationship would be highly problematic anyways because you're married with kids and she has a boyfriend, PLUS from my understanding you're co-workers. Overall, you seem way more interested in her than she is in you, so you getting your hopes up by thinking she's "testing you" is just going to end in disappointment :/
I agree that Caps are like tootsie pops, but I don't really think we're like onions.
Layers makes it seem like we're really complex but we're not-- we're just very guarded and cautious. Instead of layers Caps basically have just one thick shell or wall that others have to get through to reach them. Or maybe you can say Caps are like a door with a bunch of locks and you have to figure out how to unlock everything before they open up. Something like that.
Layers makes it seem like we're really complex but we're not-- we're just very guarded and cautious. Instead of layers Caps basically have just one thick shell or wall that others have to get through to reach them. Or maybe you can say Caps are like a door with a bunch of locks and you have to figure out how to unlock everything before they open up. Something like that.
The OP basically sounds like you're asking why someone else has a different personality than you. Just because you don't like certain Cap traits doesn't mean those traits need to be justified or something. Unless the Caps you're mentioning actually did something seriously wrong to you then I don't know why you even "hate" them in the first place.
Maybe instead of ranting you should actually confront one of those Caps you have a problem with and try to reach an understanding.
Maybe instead of ranting you should actually confront one of those Caps you have a problem with and try to reach an understanding.
Family, friends, and some colleagues like me. I think others might like me too, but I have no idea to what extent. I'm pretty quiet and standoffish so there's a good chance that many people aren't actually able to form a real opinion about me because I'm just too aloof.
I do remember someone saying that some person/people in high school didn't like me but I didn't care because I was focused on my own thing as they went on disliking me in secret. I've also been accused of being heartless a few times but I just mind my own business and care about things that I actually think are important.
I do think I'm likable and friendly but since I keep to myself so much I'm not loved/liked by everybody.
I do remember someone saying that some person/people in high school didn't like me but I didn't care because I was focused on my own thing as they went on disliking me in secret. I've also been accused of being heartless a few times but I just mind my own business and care about things that I actually think are important.
I do think I'm likable and friendly but since I keep to myself so much I'm not loved/liked by everybody.
Currently:
Sun- Cap
Moon- Aqu
Asc- Leo
I would prefer an Earth sign trifecta like:
Sun- Cap
Moon- Taurus
Asc- Virgo
Sun- Cap
Moon- Aqu
Asc- Leo
I would prefer an Earth sign trifecta like:
Sun- Cap
Moon- Taurus
Asc- Virgo
cancers >>>>>>>> gems.
Can't think of one gem that I actually liked.
Can't think of one gem that I actually liked.
"women always have this thing in their body because of hormones or something like that..."
Idk about that because anyone (male or female) can be moody since all humans have hormones. Anyway, Caps usually aren't moody so if that lady's mood is changing it's probably because you're actually doing something wrong.
Idk about that because anyone (male or female) can be moody since all humans have hormones. Anyway, Caps usually aren't moody so if that lady's mood is changing it's probably because you're actually doing something wrong.
Umm, I've only been ruthless/cruel to get rid of people I'm sick of. I usually just disregard comments from people who try to hurry the grieving process because I don't think they know where I'm coming from.
Since this touching stuff is a problem that both of you have, why not just talk about the issue together? That way you can figure out what each other is most comfortable with.
And yeah Caps usually like private settings so it's probably best to talk and touch when you're not in public.
And yeah Caps usually like private settings so it's probably best to talk and touch when you're not in public.
Same as @Gemini772 and PiscVirgAquaFish... The Priss
ISTJ
Idk about the "they come too early or too late in your life" thing, but in relation to time Caps are known for not really aging, or even aging backwards, with time. I'm guessing it's because we usually take good care of ourselves (i.e. not big drinkers, smokers, or risk takers; (very) health conscious, etc.) and work hard early in life so the later years are easier on us.
I don't WANT to hold it all in, I just feel that I HAVE NO CHOICE but to keep it all in. You have to be the right person for me to share words and emotions with so very few people ever fully know what I'm thinking or feeling. I need to find the right person to express myself to, otherwise I just keep everything to myself as I wait for that person to come by.
I hope this isn't code to say that she just doesn't want to get married TO YOU. Some people just make excuses like this when they're not that into you, but... idk just a thought.
Anyway, if she doesn't want to get married then that sounds like you should move on. Don't even bother pressuring her because if she doesn't even believe in marriage then your marriage will probably be doomed from the get-go. Many people who supposedly don't believe in marriage are people who are trying to avoid responsibility or know they can't be faithful or something. These people seem to forget that even though there are many divorces, there are still many happy, stable marriages out there.
I don't think anything is fundamentally wrong with marriage because the future of ANY marriage depends on the specific couple involved. If you're dealing with someone who has a problem with just the idea of getting married, then you need to find a women who would be more than happy to marry you.
Anyway, if she doesn't want to get married then that sounds like you should move on. Don't even bother pressuring her because if she doesn't even believe in marriage then your marriage will probably be doomed from the get-go. Many people who supposedly don't believe in marriage are people who are trying to avoid responsibility or know they can't be faithful or something. These people seem to forget that even though there are many divorces, there are still many happy, stable marriages out there.
I don't think anything is fundamentally wrong with marriage because the future of ANY marriage depends on the specific couple involved. If you're dealing with someone who has a problem with just the idea of getting married, then you need to find a women who would be more than happy to marry you.
I like water signs, but I usually have problems with air signs (except Libra).
It sounds like the girl has made it crystal clear that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore, so anything you do now is probably just a lost cause. If a Cap wants to end something, he/she will end it no matter how cold, harsh, or brutal he/she ends up being.
I'd say you should just try to heal from this relationship and then find someone else.
I'd say you should just try to heal from this relationship and then find someone else.
Was he actually expecting you to wait two years until he's ready to commit? If so, then that's pretty unreasonable. Since he's so busy with school then you should do your own thing for awhile. You guys could still keep in touch but he shouldn't be expecting anything.
Do people take advantage of you?
Well, I'm the oldest in my family and am often told to do stuff for relatives all the time. It can get annoying, but I'd say it's a less about being taken advantage of and more about being obligated to do things. Idk, it's tricky.
As for people who are NOT family, I'm usually willing to help people out but if I truly feel that you have taken advantage of me then distance myself from you as much as possible.
Does it happen often or rarely?
Occasionally with family (only 1 or 2 relatives ever do this), but rarely with non-family.
Do you always know ?
Pretty much.
How do you deal?
I usually just explain the situation to show how it's unfair, but that hardly ever works. This isn't a really serious issue or anything in the family so I don't make much of a fuss. But I just get rid of non-family that take advantage.
Well, I'm the oldest in my family and am often told to do stuff for relatives all the time. It can get annoying, but I'd say it's a less about being taken advantage of and more about being obligated to do things. Idk, it's tricky.
As for people who are NOT family, I'm usually willing to help people out but if I truly feel that you have taken advantage of me then distance myself from you as much as possible.
Does it happen often or rarely?
Occasionally with family (only 1 or 2 relatives ever do this), but rarely with non-family.
Do you always know ?
Pretty much.
How do you deal?
I usually just explain the situation to show how it's unfair, but that hardly ever works. This isn't a really serious issue or anything in the family so I don't make much of a fuss. But I just get rid of non-family that take advantage.
This sounds like a mess though. You guys fight and you've broken up more than once but you still want a relationship with this person? Then you say how "whenever he gets bored of me, he would break up, and whenever he misses me, he would make up with me again" (which imo sounds pretty inconsiderate and selfish) and that "I never text him, and my life goes on. I've been having a wonderful time without him" (which is good-- you should keep that up !) yet you're STILL trying to get back with him? This isn't really adding up properly at all.
I agree with Metoo that you might have "makeup to breakup syndrome" or something like that. I doubt that you're thinking clearly and since you don't want to hear that you should move on, you might end up wasting a ton of time and energy on trying to save a relationship that shows multiple signs that it should officially end.
I wish you luck, but please think this through a bit more!
!) yet you're STILL trying to get back with him? This isn't really adding up properly at all.I agree with Metoo that you might have "makeup to breakup syndrome" or something like that. I doubt that you're thinking clearly and since you don't want to hear that you should move on, you might end up wasting a ton of time and energy on trying to save a relationship that shows multiple signs that it should officially end.
I wish you luck, but please think this through a bit more!
Awww, I think the note with gum idea is cute
Caps say "goodbye" if you truly wrong/upset them. But if everything's okay, then they will stick around to some degree.
If you want more attention then you should just mention that to the Cap.
If you want more attention then you should just mention that to the Cap.
- None of our answers are "crazy" they just aren't what you apparently want to hear
- I guess you could call us "judgmental", but it looks more like we Caps just analyzed what you told use and came up with pretty blunt conclusions. You trying/hoping to pursue someone who's currently in a relationship is an automatic no-no.
- As co-workers, maybe he's just more friendly with you than others but don't get any ideas right now. Let his relationship take it's course and then see what happens. So yes....you have to be patient!
- Who says it's okay for a much older man to be with a much younger woman (or vice versa)? It depends on why because many times such relationships aren't truly based on love (e.g. young one looking for a sugar daddy/mamma, older person wanting to feel more desirable by "cradle robbing", etc.).
-If you're super compatible and his relationship ends, then fine. But you have to wait until his relationship ends on its own. Interfering could do much more harm than good.
- I guess you could call us "judgmental", but it looks more like we Caps just analyzed what you told use and came up with pretty blunt conclusions. You trying/hoping to pursue someone who's currently in a relationship is an automatic no-no.
- As co-workers, maybe he's just more friendly with you than others but don't get any ideas right now. Let his relationship take it's course and then see what happens. So yes....you have to be patient!
- Who says it's okay for a much older man to be with a much younger woman (or vice versa)? It depends on why because many times such relationships aren't truly based on love (e.g. young one looking for a sugar daddy/mamma, older person wanting to feel more desirable by "cradle robbing", etc.).
-If you're super compatible and his relationship ends, then fine. But you have to wait until his relationship ends on its own. Interfering could do much more harm than good.
If I don't know/trust you very well then I see no need to show much emotion to you. Plus, I can usually deal with my emotions on my own so sharing them with others isn't very necessary.
Nevertheless, Caps may not truly be emotionally unavailable but rather super slow to show emotions or just much less outwardly emotional/dramatic than other signs.
Nevertheless, Caps may not truly be emotionally unavailable but rather super slow to show emotions or just much less outwardly emotional/dramatic than other signs.
How do you handle your intense emotions?
- Usually I deal with them internally. I'll run over in my mind whatever triggered my emotion and that helps me feel better. Other methods I use are writing things down or taking a nap to calm down.
How do you handle the intense emotions of others?
- It depends. If I'm the one who upset them then I'll try to make them feel better or at least not upset them any further. But if I think the person's intense emotions are just the person overreacting, or I don't think the emotions are even justified, then I usually don't react at all (e.g. I'll just stare at them blankly or stay quiet hoping they'll stop).
- Usually I deal with them internally. I'll run over in my mind whatever triggered my emotion and that helps me feel better. Other methods I use are writing things down or taking a nap to calm down.
How do you handle the intense emotions of others?
- It depends. If I'm the one who upset them then I'll try to make them feel better or at least not upset them any further. But if I think the person's intense emotions are just the person overreacting, or I don't think the emotions are even justified, then I usually don't react at all (e.g. I'll just stare at them blankly or stay quiet hoping they'll stop).
I want a small church wedding with just family and a few close friends. I'm not sure which church I'd want to have it in (most churches are quite beautiful so it doesn't matter THAT much), but it would be great if my/my husband's favorite priest did the ceremony. The wedding band is more important to me so I don't want an expensive engagement ring. After the ceremony I would love if I could take a bunch of wedding photos at this botanical garden in my neighborhood. I want to have a fancy, catered dinner at some ritzy place and then have my honeymoon someplace tropical.
Should I make it obvious to him that I like him?
- Nope, it's better to just play it cool.
Should I initiate contact?
-Sure, because if you wait for the Cap to initiate then it might take forever.
Overall I think just having a regular, pleasant conversation with him would be really helpful.
- Nope, it's better to just play it cool.
Should I initiate contact?
-Sure, because if you wait for the Cap to initiate then it might take forever.
Overall I think just having a regular, pleasant conversation with him would be really helpful.
I wouldn't call the distance thing an act. I think he's interested but is just observing you from afar to see if he should pursue you or not. Caps often don't initiate anything unless they're as sure as possible. But if this is bothering you, then being straightforward with him could really speed things up. You don't have to let your guard down though, just ask him what's going on here.
Yup, Caps can emotionally switch off super quick. I think the breaking down that you witnessed was real, but that was probably just him spilling out all is emotions at once. Now he's turned cold because he quickly came to terms with the fact that you're leaving.
Teddy bears are super cute, but what is she going to do with a bear that size? She might not have anywhere to put it and over time it'll start collecting dust. A smaller bear is less likely to become an inconvenience.
I'd prefer a little potted plant since it lasts much longer. Plus, every time she takes care of the plant (e.g. waters it, prunes it, etc.) she probably start thinking about you!
@xxoommmxxoo
Who's being negative here? If you check the OP's history, it looks like her account was opened today and the only threads in her history are almost identical (she basically just replaced "Taurus" with "Cap" and wrote almost the exact same story). Then when people pointed that out she hasn't responded. Suspicious much?
If anything we're just calling the OP out. If she actually is dating two guys at the same time and the exact same situations just so happened to arise, then she can just clarify that. But she isn't
Who's being negative here? If you check the OP's history, it looks like her account was opened today and the only threads in her history are almost identical (she basically just replaced "Taurus" with "Cap" and wrote almost the exact same story). Then when people pointed that out she hasn't responded. Suspicious much?
If anything we're just calling the OP out. If she actually is dating two guys at the same time and the exact same situations just so happened to arise, then she can just clarify that. But she isn't
First a Taurus and now a Cap. Are you dating a Virgo too?