Message Posts by SweetAndSassyLeo
Actually, he *has* wavered and was the first to do so--which is why I was confused. He continually talked about wanting to meet another virgin and not having sex until committed, yet *he* was the first to suggest having sex.
This guy is driving me crazy with his wishy-washiness and timidity about attending social events (we're both more introverted, but he says he has social phobia), though I'll admit I wavered some, too (mainly on the issue of sex initially because I am especially attracted to him). But somehow we've been still seeing each other and he's agreed to go on actual dates with me, as I stated I don't intend to always give him BJs, lol, and I want to be treated like a lady.
The dynamics have changed a bit.
The initial intensity between us has mellowed some to be more relaxed and comfortable. If I tell him I don't like something, he stops and won't try it again. He's been very respectful of my wishes so far, which I appreciate. Strangely, he has admitted to being afraid of emotional intimacy--which to me seems odd because I thought Pisces were supposed to be more emotional... But at the same time he's very tender with me and is not afraid to admit that sometimes he misses me and would like to hang out with me again (sans the more physical activities, even). I tell him not to be so afraid, and he gets really quiet...
We both share an unusual view in how far we'll allow ourselves to go in the realm of sex, which I don't expect anyone else to agree with, but it seems to work for us. I guess, in a way, I kinda appreciate his honesty about his strong (physical) attraction towards me. Now it's not something we have to be hush-hush about and suppress; if we wanna be sexual, we can, but it's not necessary--not a dynamic I'm used to, though I figured I'd allow that initial "audition" period, at least, and give this one a shot.
If he's truly playing me, well, I guess I'll get what I deserve in the end. Though, it has never been my intention to "play" him. Yes, there has been confusion on both sides, and I think that's because of the initial attraction factor. As I said, we have agreed to keep things casual, but honestly I just don't get the feeling he's solely out for sex. I feel like he values having a connection with someone but said he's been hurt in the past so is wary about getting close.
I just want someone fun to hang out with for now, as does he, and I'm not sure if this will ever go beyond that. I just want to give i
This guy is driving me crazy with his wishy-washiness and timidity about attending social events (we're both more introverted, but he says he has social phobia), though I'll admit I wavered some, too (mainly on the issue of sex initially because I am especially attracted to him). But somehow we've been still seeing each other and he's agreed to go on actual dates with me, as I stated I don't intend to always give him BJs, lol, and I want to be treated like a lady.
The dynamics have changed a bit.
The initial intensity between us has mellowed some to be more relaxed and comfortable. If I tell him I don't like something, he stops and won't try it again. He's been very respectful of my wishes so far, which I appreciate. Strangely, he has admitted to being afraid of emotional intimacy--which to me seems odd because I thought Pisces were supposed to be more emotional... But at the same time he's very tender with me and is not afraid to admit that sometimes he misses me and would like to hang out with me again (sans the more physical activities, even). I tell him not to be so afraid, and he gets really quiet...
We both share an unusual view in how far we'll allow ourselves to go in the realm of sex, which I don't expect anyone else to agree with, but it seems to work for us. I guess, in a way, I kinda appreciate his honesty about his strong (physical) attraction towards me. Now it's not something we have to be hush-hush about and suppress; if we wanna be sexual, we can, but it's not necessary--not a dynamic I'm used to, though I figured I'd allow that initial "audition" period, at least, and give this one a shot.
If he's truly playing me, well, I guess I'll get what I deserve in the end. Though, it has never been my intention to "play" him. Yes, there has been confusion on both sides, and I think that's because of the initial attraction factor. As I said, we have agreed to keep things casual, but honestly I just don't get the feeling he's solely out for sex. I feel like he values having a connection with someone but said he's been hurt in the past so is wary about getting close.
I just want someone fun to hang out with for now, as does he, and I'm not sure if this will ever go beyond that. I just want to give i
"And people have the audacity to come in here and tell you that he's playing you?"
I never said he was playing me; he told me what he wanted/didn't want, and I accepted.
"... so don't you treetrunking come in here and act virtuous..."
Never said I was.
First of all, I'm thanking everyone for their honest opinions. I understand the risks, and I took them. Was it smart? Not really, but it was what I wanted at the time.
Being a virgin, I've never done something like this before. Guess I just got sick of being the "good girl" all the time. After nearly 25 years of holding off on all forms of sex, it just doesn't seem to get you anything, really.
P-Angel: you're right, I guess I was being sexually seductive.
I suppose I'm just pushing boundaries now. Just wanted to have some fun, which I did. Oddly, I don't feel bad about it. Just is what it is, I guess.
The odds of this turning into something more are pretty low, I understand. I don't want something too serious right now anyway because at the moment I don't have time to spend too much time with a guy, and neither does he. If it turned into something more down the line, I'd welcome it. Though, as it is, I'm fine with being casual and having fun.
"Later, you then go on to tell him that you are NOT interested in a serious relationship, which is utter bullbutter considering you had oral sex with him."
Ideally, then, that would work both ways, wouldn't?
Not saying anyone is wrong here; I think you all are absolutely right. Guess I just wanted to see what other people's feelings were on this--which are pretty strong, actually.
I used to look down on casual fun, but I guess I just had a perspective shift in all of this...risky as it is.
I never said he was playing me; he told me what he wanted/didn't want, and I accepted.
"... so don't you treetrunking come in here and act virtuous..."
Never said I was.
First of all, I'm thanking everyone for their honest opinions. I understand the risks, and I took them. Was it smart? Not really, but it was what I wanted at the time.
Being a virgin, I've never done something like this before. Guess I just got sick of being the "good girl" all the time. After nearly 25 years of holding off on all forms of sex, it just doesn't seem to get you anything, really.
P-Angel: you're right, I guess I was being sexually seductive.
I suppose I'm just pushing boundaries now. Just wanted to have some fun, which I did. Oddly, I don't feel bad about it. Just is what it is, I guess.
The odds of this turning into something more are pretty low, I understand. I don't want something too serious right now anyway because at the moment I don't have time to spend too much time with a guy, and neither does he. If it turned into something more down the line, I'd welcome it. Though, as it is, I'm fine with being casual and having fun.
"Later, you then go on to tell him that you are NOT interested in a serious relationship, which is utter bullbutter considering you had oral sex with him."
Ideally, then, that would work both ways, wouldn't?
Not saying anyone is wrong here; I think you all are absolutely right. Guess I just wanted to see what other people's feelings were on this--which are pretty strong, actually.
I used to look down on casual fun, but I guess I just had a perspective shift in all of this...risky as it is.
Sorry for the long story...
I guess I just want other people's thoughts about all of this. The first time he said he wasn't going to meet at the hotel was because he said he was unsure whether I really wanted to have sex (intercourse) with him. I had to explain, I WANT to, but I just wasn't sure it was the best idea. He said ok.
I understand he feels really strongly about me. He was very tender with me and attentive and everything when we met, and even though seeing him for the first time was odd at first, I felt myself melting to him and growing more and more comfortable... I'm afraid I might have come off as maybe a little aloof because I didn't always know what to do with my hands with him... Plus, I was on my period, haha, which he didn't mind. For that reason, I wasn't able to be as "hot" as I'd like. I didn't feel as sexy as normal.
I guess I just want to know if it's normal for Pisces guys to be so intense and sexual in the beginning, and to be so iffy about relationships. I'm guessing because he asked when I wanted to hang out next time that he does want to see me again... I'm just playing it cool for now because I don't want to risk coming off as want something more serious.
Idk... what are everyone's thoughts on this? Do you think he likes me? Am I making him too uncertain?
I guess I just want other people's thoughts about all of this. The first time he said he wasn't going to meet at the hotel was because he said he was unsure whether I really wanted to have sex (intercourse) with him. I had to explain, I WANT to, but I just wasn't sure it was the best idea. He said ok.
I understand he feels really strongly about me. He was very tender with me and attentive and everything when we met, and even though seeing him for the first time was odd at first, I felt myself melting to him and growing more and more comfortable... I'm afraid I might have come off as maybe a little aloof because I didn't always know what to do with my hands with him... Plus, I was on my period, haha, which he didn't mind. For that reason, I wasn't able to be as "hot" as I'd like. I didn't feel as sexy as normal.
I guess I just want to know if it's normal for Pisces guys to be so intense and sexual in the beginning, and to be so iffy about relationships. I'm guessing because he asked when I wanted to hang out next time that he does want to see me again... I'm just playing it cool for now because I don't want to risk coming off as want something more serious.
Idk... what are everyone's thoughts on this? Do you think he likes me? Am I making him too uncertain?
Well, I told him, first of all, I wasn't going to sleep with him/have intercourse at this point. We already agreed to back off that topic. Second of all, I told him I wasn't the kind of girl to constantly call I guy I already was hanging out with. I don't have time for it and besides, we're both working or going to school. (He's preparing for his doctorates program next semester, and I have like three jobs, lol.) I told him I just want the chance to meet, have fun, and get to know him. I said I think we should just take things slow and seee how they go. If something more comes out of it, that'd be great, but I said I'm not expecting anything heavy from him. That wouldn't make sense because we don't even know each other yet really, lol.
So he says, alright. We'll meet then.
*sighs*
Driving me nuts already and we hadn't even met! LoL
Anyway...we set a place and time... Honestly, I wasn't expecting him to show up, after how many times we'd changed our plans. But lo and behold this nerdy but cute guy with modern-geek glasses walks up to my outdoor table, and he can't take his eyes off me.
To be honest, I found it intimidating at first 'cause it was the first time we'd met. But eventually I got used to his intensity and found it flattering. He was really touchy-feely, wanting to rub my hands and arms and thighs... I told him no thighs, not in public. (I mentioned on my profile I wasn't really into PDA.) He got the message and backed off some, but he still like to wrap his arm around me.
I joked and said, "What, am I your girlfriend now?" He just laughed like, "Whoa, whoa...don't get ahead of yourself now..."
To sum things up, I had a great night with him. There was never a dull moment in our conversations. It seemed so natural to be with him. Also, I'm black, and he has this preference for black girls--which was an added turn-on, lol. We had a ridiculous time of finding a place to make-out in his car (he felt his place was too private for the first time, and I live with my parents at the moment), but it was overall a fun adventure.
I'm still confused, though, because at the end of it all he asked me, "So...when would you like to hang out again?"
"I don't know," I said. "Soon-ish." I really wanted to see him again the next day, but I didn't say so because he said he wasn't looking to constantly see anyone--aka have a "serious relationship." (cntd)
So he says, alright. We'll meet then.
*sighs*
Driving me nuts already and we hadn't even met! LoL
Anyway...we set a place and time... Honestly, I wasn't expecting him to show up, after how many times we'd changed our plans. But lo and behold this nerdy but cute guy with modern-geek glasses walks up to my outdoor table, and he can't take his eyes off me.
To be honest, I found it intimidating at first 'cause it was the first time we'd met. But eventually I got used to his intensity and found it flattering. He was really touchy-feely, wanting to rub my hands and arms and thighs... I told him no thighs, not in public. (I mentioned on my profile I wasn't really into PDA.) He got the message and backed off some, but he still like to wrap his arm around me.
I joked and said, "What, am I your girlfriend now?" He just laughed like, "Whoa, whoa...don't get ahead of yourself now..."
To sum things up, I had a great night with him. There was never a dull moment in our conversations. It seemed so natural to be with him. Also, I'm black, and he has this preference for black girls--which was an added turn-on, lol. We had a ridiculous time of finding a place to make-out in his car (he felt his place was too private for the first time, and I live with my parents at the moment), but it was overall a fun adventure.
I'm still confused, though, because at the end of it all he asked me, "So...when would you like to hang out again?"
"I don't know," I said. "Soon-ish." I really wanted to see him again the next day, but I didn't say so because he said he wasn't looking to constantly see anyone--aka have a "serious relationship." (cntd)
Hello, all. First time here. 
Just two nights ago I met with this Pisces guy and I have to say: the one thing that caught me off guard was his incredibly intense stare. But I must start from the beginning...
We first met on an online dating site and had been talking for a week. Even then is was really clear he had the hots for me BIG TIME. I don't think it's possible for him to have a conversation with me without stating how much he'd like to make me cum, lol.
Well, we're both virgins--and our shared definition of that is "never had intercourse." We also agreed neither of us wanted to have intercourse with someone until we were married. He said he hoped things could work out long-term between us and that we had enough in common that this seemed likely. So he wanted to meet. However, he also told me he prefers to make out with his girlfriends and sometimes even do oral before deciding to officially date. It's the way he determines whether he has physical chemistry with them early on, he said, so that he "doesn't waste anyone's time."
I'm not used to operating like this, but I can understand why this makes sense.
Anyway, he said he's only had a handful of girlfriends, but before we even met (about 5/6 days into talking) he confessed he felt so strongly about me now (our compatibility as far as values and beliefs, mental chemistry, my beauty) that he wanted to even sleep with me. We went through this really confused discussion from vowing to never have intercourse to making plans to get a room and have dinner at a really nice local hotel--and he said he'd pay for everything!
But then he changed his mind. Said he was confused why I'D be willing to have sex with him. I told him it was probably the same reason he was willing to change his mind for me--because I was attracted to what I've seen of/from him so far and liked his personality.
He said he shared the same reasons.
Anyway...we decided not to do the hotel thing, just meet and make out. I agreed to do oral, as well. But then the day we were supposed to meet he texted me and said he couldn't do it. He said he wasn't looking for something serious, felt like I was looking for more and that I deserved more.
This saddened me, but I decided to talk to him more about it. I asked him what he thought a "serious relationship" entailed; he said things like sleeping together, calling each other and handing out all day everyday, heavy emotional involvement... (cntd)
Just two nights ago I met with this Pisces guy and I have to say: the one thing that caught me off guard was his incredibly intense stare. But I must start from the beginning...
We first met on an online dating site and had been talking for a week. Even then is was really clear he had the hots for me BIG TIME. I don't think it's possible for him to have a conversation with me without stating how much he'd like to make me cum, lol.
Well, we're both virgins--and our shared definition of that is "never had intercourse." We also agreed neither of us wanted to have intercourse with someone until we were married. He said he hoped things could work out long-term between us and that we had enough in common that this seemed likely. So he wanted to meet. However, he also told me he prefers to make out with his girlfriends and sometimes even do oral before deciding to officially date. It's the way he determines whether he has physical chemistry with them early on, he said, so that he "doesn't waste anyone's time."
I'm not used to operating like this, but I can understand why this makes sense.
Anyway, he said he's only had a handful of girlfriends, but before we even met (about 5/6 days into talking) he confessed he felt so strongly about me now (our compatibility as far as values and beliefs, mental chemistry, my beauty) that he wanted to even sleep with me. We went through this really confused discussion from vowing to never have intercourse to making plans to get a room and have dinner at a really nice local hotel--and he said he'd pay for everything!
But then he changed his mind. Said he was confused why I'D be willing to have sex with him. I told him it was probably the same reason he was willing to change his mind for me--because I was attracted to what I've seen of/from him so far and liked his personality.
He said he shared the same reasons.
Anyway...we decided not to do the hotel thing, just meet and make out. I agreed to do oral, as well. But then the day we were supposed to meet he texted me and said he couldn't do it. He said he wasn't looking for something serious, felt like I was looking for more and that I deserved more.
This saddened me, but I decided to talk to him more about it. I asked him what he thought a "serious relationship" entailed; he said things like sleeping together, calling each other and handing out all day everyday, heavy emotional involvement... (cntd)