Message Posts by VirgAnne
Or could anyone help me figure out what is *most* in my personality, based on my chart? The Scorpio ascendant thing... How much does that affect me?
If I have 3 things that say Libra, but my sign is Virgo, but my ascendant is Scorpio, which one of these things could create a problem that I think too deeply, and then I fear getting hurt so much, and that I get extremely angry & nasty if I get "led on"? I don't know much about how the planets screw me up.
Mine is:
Sun Virgo
Ascendant Scorpio
Moon, Mercury, Uranus & Pluto: Libra
Venus Leo
Mars Gemini
Jupiter Aries
Saturn Cancer
Neptune Sagittarius
ASC Node Scorpio
Sun Virgo
Ascendant Scorpio
Moon, Mercury, Uranus & Pluto: Libra
Venus Leo
Mars Gemini
Jupiter Aries
Saturn Cancer
Neptune Sagittarius
ASC Node Scorpio
It said
This is what I saw when I ran his chart with no time of day noted:
Sun Scorpio
Moon Gemini
Mercury Sagittarius
Venus & Neptune: Scorpio
Mars, Uranus & Pluto: Virgo
Jupiter Leo
Saturn Pisces
ASC node: Taurus
This is what I saw when I ran his chart with no time of day noted:
Sun Scorpio
Moon Gemini
Mercury Sagittarius
Venus & Neptune: Scorpio
Mars, Uranus & Pluto: Virgo
Jupiter Leo
Saturn Pisces
ASC node: Taurus
I don't know what time he was born. I only know date and approximate location.
You all really have helped me with this. I needed to hear the truth.
Posted by DMVPosted by VirgAnne
*and am going to have to face the fact that I've done this to myself.
hogwash...you both played a part. he was a sucka and lameo for not being upfront when he demands it in return. you laid all your cards on the table and sorta kinda maybe could be almost laid his out.click to expand
He did say a few times that he just wanted to be friends when I "called him out", and usually he'd use the opportunity as a way to suck me back in, emphasizing that I know him so well & that I'm usually spot on recognizing his behavior. Then, he'd seem to reach out to me even more, building it up higher, asking me for generic favors, watching me, hugging me a little longer, etc... just in general creating the illusion of closeness.
No, I don't think it was my fault for allowing him to continually advance his daily game. I think I was at fault for letting the game become my own. If this whole thing was some kind of test, it's an evil one. I do believe he knew exactly what he was doing. He doesn't deny it, but rather he says, "Why can't you just forgive me & see that's the way I am?"
I told him on the phone last night that I wish him well. He seemed to panic, and said "We will be fine. Give it some time and you'll be ok, and we can be friends again. You just need some time without seeing me and we'll be fine again." I told him "No, you don't understand. We will not be ok. These feelings run deep, and a couple months without seeing you won't erase what I'm feeling because you branded yourself in my head and I can't go back to what hurts." He said "No no, come on... just give it some time. We'll be fine... I know it," and I said "I can't." He went silent. I think he thought we could pick up where we left off next week. When I said we can't, I think he froze and never saw it coming. He wants me to be ok and continue this whether it hurts or not. That's what has me so bewildered.
*and am going to have to face the fact that I've done this to myself.
Your comments are all greatly appreciated. Some extremely fine points have been made here. I don't want to single anyone out by quoting any comments, so I mean this toward each of you. What you've said has opened my eyes to the fact that I was seeing what I was hoping for, not what really was. I feel as though I have failed myself in this. While he always credited me for being so empathetic and wise in my ability to see into him because I'd challenge his excuses the whole way, he'd also say I give him things to learn within himself as to why he's doing what he's doing. He would "lead me on" and I'd tell him so, and he'd say "I can see why you'd feel that way. Once again you've got me figured out spot on. I love that about you." Instead of seeing the red flags, calling a spade a spade and running, I might have been holding on because I mistakenly thought this meant he was "growing" toward me, realizing I knew him so well. I always felt the rejection, yet any time he'd call me late and want to see me, I'd say no, knowing it would be a big mistake if I gave myself to him with all these red flags. He always thanked me for not heeding his invitations, and he'd always say I was right and he was wrong.
What you guys have done for me here is give it to me straight without error. It's funny; I always pride myself in being tough, I can see a rat coming from a mile away, I'll call out anyone if I suspect deception, and my walls are up. He saw that, too. He claimed "got" me, and loved that I "got" him. Wow, now that I see all these words written by complete strangers, and take them in, I see I'm not as stupid as I thought when I perceived that he could be poisonous to me. Yet, I see also that I need to stop thinking I have to stay in it like a rock in hopes he'll see that I'm loyal and tolerant and worthy of his love. In fact, I'm probably going to learn a lot for the next time just by your words, and hoping that this will be the last time that my need to be loved will cause me to sacrifice so much.
I wish I could take you all out for a drink to show my deep appreciation for your unselfish giving, as you've helped someone whom you owed nothing to. You've all stopped me dead in my tracks and even made me question who I am and what lies beneath. I don't know why, with every time I challenged his ways, I was not able to just walk away and just face the truth.
Thank you very much for what you've given. While some was tough to hear, I openly received it and am g
What you guys have done for me here is give it to me straight without error. It's funny; I always pride myself in being tough, I can see a rat coming from a mile away, I'll call out anyone if I suspect deception, and my walls are up. He saw that, too. He claimed "got" me, and loved that I "got" him. Wow, now that I see all these words written by complete strangers, and take them in, I see I'm not as stupid as I thought when I perceived that he could be poisonous to me. Yet, I see also that I need to stop thinking I have to stay in it like a rock in hopes he'll see that I'm loyal and tolerant and worthy of his love. In fact, I'm probably going to learn a lot for the next time just by your words, and hoping that this will be the last time that my need to be loved will cause me to sacrifice so much.
I wish I could take you all out for a drink to show my deep appreciation for your unselfish giving, as you've helped someone whom you owed nothing to. You've all stopped me dead in my tracks and even made me question who I am and what lies beneath. I don't know why, with every time I challenged his ways, I was not able to just walk away and just face the truth.
Thank you very much for what you've given. While some was tough to hear, I openly received it and am g
Another thing that threw me off... When I expressed my disappointment in him that he seemed to "minimize me" in front of everyone, yet seemed to be able to tell me anything, he got angry, saying he "HAS" to be this way because he's an entertainer and needs "fans" and can't make it look like he's in a relationship... Also because he's afraid the divorce will get ugly if the ex thinks he's with anyone. I said, "I don't even know who you are right now. You're not who I thought you were. You're arrogant, like you're pushing me away." And he said, "Who am I? I'm YOU. You love this in me. You love it when a guy calls you out. I'm you. You met your match."
(He then claimed he was just angry and didn't mean that, but those were some pretty crazy words)
(He then claimed he was just angry and didn't mean that, but those were some pretty crazy words)
"Is what we have special? Only time will tell."
"I love our relationship. I love where we are. You're good for me. You keep me in the right place. I feel like I've known you for 20 years. You know more about me than most."
"I don't like the way those guys were looking at you. I was trying to get you to feel that. I wanted your attention on me."
"You're not like the other girls. You're so much different. Don't ever think you're anything like them."
"I'm going to just try to embrace this deeply, and not be afraid. I'm going to try not to fear you. You are so right; I have such a big problem with fear. Sometimes I drown in it, and I get scared by you."
"The last woman who did the things for me that you do... Really special things... I married her."
"I know it's late, but I really want to see you. I've been thinking about you all night. I don't know... I really like us and where we are."
(These are the things I believed may have meant he wanted more but just needed to take it slow. I suppose I got my hopes up because I cared so much for him.)
"I love our relationship. I love where we are. You're good for me. You keep me in the right place. I feel like I've known you for 20 years. You know more about me than most."
"I don't like the way those guys were looking at you. I was trying to get you to feel that. I wanted your attention on me."
"You're not like the other girls. You're so much different. Don't ever think you're anything like them."
"I'm going to just try to embrace this deeply, and not be afraid. I'm going to try not to fear you. You are so right; I have such a big problem with fear. Sometimes I drown in it, and I get scared by you."
"The last woman who did the things for me that you do... Really special things... I married her."
"I know it's late, but I really want to see you. I've been thinking about you all night. I don't know... I really like us and where we are."
(These are the things I believed may have meant he wanted more but just needed to take it slow. I suppose I got my hopes up because I cared so much for him.)
I wonder where that falls in my chart. I'm reading it now. I don't know much about the planets, etc. It says I have Ascendant in Scorpio...ASC node in Scorpio... Sun in Virgo... Moon, mercury & Pluto in Libra..Venus in Leo. What does this mean? Am I in trouble? I'm screwed, aren't I? It says I like to fight and have hot passion. All I really want is a brownie and a hot lover with sexy eyes and nice teeth. This whole thing is a mess.
Also, he kissed me one night, full of giddiness & excitement when we went out late for coffee. He surprised me with a small gift. I drew him a couple of heartfelt pictures and he shamed me by saying I "scared him" and those pictures were "too special". He said the gift he did for me (a video) wasn't special like my picture was and he didn't put heart in it. He seemed freaked out by my drawings (a castle in England & an angel in honor of his mom). He claimed the last woman who did such beautiful things for him was the woman he fell in love with. I then found out another woman who fell for him also crafted a nice gift for him, and he pulled the "sorry I can't give you more" thing with her too. He saw her for shorter and claims I was deeper & more psychological than her... He asked her to a formal event recently and just told me at the same time as I was hurt over him minimizing our "relationship" for the last time. He has also rubbed it in that another woman with a perfect body wants him but is "fine" with his desire to just be friends. I really thought I was different. I was played a fool. Why would he open up so much to me so quickly? We never slept together. He supposedly stayed celibate w/his ex wife for 5 yrs before marrying her.
Scorpio pursued me and developed a connection with me. He lured me in through sending me hot pics of himself, meeting for coffee, opening up his deepest fears & the bad things that happened in his marriage, which he left years ago but is just now finally in mediation for divorce as his wife is tired of waiting for him to come back. He told me of all his failures, called me drunk & horny a few times wanting me to come to him & I said no, but talked to him for a couple hrs. He always thanked me for not letting him have his way w/me bc he was still "married & unavailable on paper". He told me he contemplated going back to his wife and yet struggled w/wanting his freedom. He's cried to me briefly, said he loves our "relationship... or... friendship" (-unquote) and asked me many times to keep it "special between us". All along I fell harder thinking he was "testing me" as all these forums say. Our many many mutual friends had to know I was falling. Some girls started to give me the cold shoulder, showing jealousy. I knew he'd had many girlfriends. He'd 'like' pics of us that I'd post on fb. He admitted getting jealous of men who spoke to me too much, then retreated and claimed he only said that bc he was drunk. Now, I posted a pic and he commented under it "it's always great to see you out" generically to make sure no one thought we were a couple. I finally flipped out and tore him a new one telling him that I'm tired of being "hidden" and downplayed in front of ppl, after we just spoke for hours a couple nights prior, and Facebk every day, and he's dumped his whole life out after 7 mos. He now claims "I feel horrible that you feel led on but I'm going through divorce and don't have any feelings at all for you. You made it look like we're together and you need to accept this and just be my friend." It got ugly. We fought bc he hurt me deeply as I trusted him with so much. I thought we had a bond & built up false hopes. I told him he's got to be doing this to other women too and he claims "they're all fine w/it and the way I am." Yet claims he was closer to me than any of them. WHAT WAS THIS? I told him I need to walk away and he claims he's feeling all my pain now and never wanted to lose me. It all ended tonight. I haven't deleted him. I'm broken and confused. Please... What was he doing?
"I am playing the characters that my last boyfriend gave me", You have to tell us what you were talking about right before she said that. What was the context and what else did she say? Almost sounds like she is not over what the ex did to her and sucks for you that you have to pay the price. After all, you left her and you weren't around to protect her from the other heartbreakers that came along. Do you know the hell she's been through since you left? Do you care? Do you care about all the times her heart hurt or broke since you "put her" on a plane? You also sound a little egotistical, as if you've got this in the bag.
No offense and maybe it's the way you're coming off, but you can't buy a Virgo. You need substance. I dated an aqua and he would close up and act silly when I wanted him to open up and be serious. He acted like he was supreme and I just needed to realize that. Stick it where the fish don't swim... This is not all about you.
Also, you dumped her. If you don't get her to vent out all of her feelings about what you put her through and how much hurt she felt, you don't have a chance in hell. She deserves to be heard. Not to be bought. Stop buying gifts and planning trips and get serious about finding out what you really did to her back then. I had two exes who came back years later after they broke my heart. I secretly despised them for what they did, but one of them I actually allowed to suck me back in. I hated myself for it. The other one acted so groveling and desperate that I was repulsed by him. This may go beyond what you can even see. If she is still angry with you, your gifts will get her more aggravated deep down, because bottom line is you left her when she loved you. And you really don't deserve her back.
Sorry, call me what you will but I AM a Virgo and you shouldn't discount that this is what she could be thinking.
Virgo
Burned BAD by Aquarius who thought he was king of the planet
No offense and maybe it's the way you're coming off, but you can't buy a Virgo. You need substance. I dated an aqua and he would close up and act silly when I wanted him to open up and be serious. He acted like he was supreme and I just needed to realize that. Stick it where the fish don't swim... This is not all about you.
Also, you dumped her. If you don't get her to vent out all of her feelings about what you put her through and how much hurt she felt, you don't have a chance in hell. She deserves to be heard. Not to be bought. Stop buying gifts and planning trips and get serious about finding out what you really did to her back then. I had two exes who came back years later after they broke my heart. I secretly despised them for what they did, but one of them I actually allowed to suck me back in. I hated myself for it. The other one acted so groveling and desperate that I was repulsed by him. This may go beyond what you can even see. If she is still angry with you, your gifts will get her more aggravated deep down, because bottom line is you left her when she loved you. And you really don't deserve her back.
Sorry, call me what you will but I AM a Virgo and you shouldn't discount that this is what she could be thinking.
Virgo
Burned BAD by Aquarius who thought he was king of the planet
Posted by virgosagscorpioPosted by whiterebbit
At the moment I am showering her in thoughtful gifts.
Getting her to come out on fun little adventures is proving tricky (I'm an Aqua)
Any bright ideas?
Be a great friend.
When you have a conversation, show how mature you are and project a serious but not boring personality.
Invite her quite frequently to have *coffee etc. (her fave drink that u know)
Be a good conversationalist.
MAKE HER LAUGH!
those are few of the things that my Aqua did and still doing. My aqua told me that I'm elusive lol!
Oh and please ground yourself a lil bit...
click to expand
Here, here! +1 +1 Fire it up!!
It means he's mesmerized by you and wants to know more. No, a silly comment would turn me off if I wrote something that beautiful to someone and they remarked back with a wisecrack. He's getting deep. He bared himself. We only do that when we are captivated by someone. Hold on to that man.
Want to really be transformed? Go to YouTube and watch anything Tony Robbins. You will feel like you're ready to run the world.
He felt rejected. He's trying to possibly get you to pursue himso he doesn't have to get rejected twice. We don't know the whole story but if you make someone feel less significant than they want to feel, and there's Virgo in them, the likely thought he had was, "excuse me... Sorry to bother you and take up your time. Maybe i shouldn't have let you in in the first place because I trusted you and now I have to follow your rules as to when we talk? You're busy? I'll show you busy."
Sorry, but you asked.
Best advice I can give you, start to show him you'll put him first and make him #1. Ask about things that really matter. Dump heart into an email. If nothing works, you may have pushed him away and he may be too proud to tell you that you hurt him.
Sorry, but you asked.
Best advice I can give you, start to show him you'll put him first and make him #1. Ask about things that really matter. Dump heart into an email. If nothing works, you may have pushed him away and he may be too proud to tell you that you hurt him.Why are you on here asking us what's wrong with her, trying to fix her? No offense! You sound caring... But, she's high strung because she's stressed out. The root of the problem is what will change everything. What is she so keyed up about? Money? Bad relationship? Being controlled? Is she afraid something is wrong with her? Is she on a medication that causes anxiety? Does she have anxiety disorder? If so, where did it stem from and at what point did it get worse? Is she afraid she's going to lose something? She's exhibiting signs that don't show up for no reason. What's going on with her? Ask her and support her, and if you're putting too much pressure on her to change something about her, stop. She has to feel supported and WELL LOVED AND AT PEACE if she's going to sleep. You cannot make her sleep better if she's a mess inside. You have to be the one to save her from herself if you are there for her and allow her to feel like the problems definitely have solutions.
Correction in first message I wrote: "No reassurance that you LIKE HER despite her faults* (whch she hates about herself by the way)
PS: if you start allowing her to think her faults are perfectly fine, by may e even "one-upping" her and telling her your own faults for each one she tells to you, she will become attached quickly, and start showing more emotion, and playing it safe less. Try it. Start texting more and don't wait for her to do it. I'm telling you, this girl is afraid you're going to play her and she's got too much at stake. Turn it up a little. Tell her YOU WANT to see her. Say, "So, I want to see you but my schedule is all whacky. Let me know if you want to hook up and we'll figure something out." Send her that text. Bet she responds favorably. I would. (Unless you haven't shown enough yet, in which case, keep complimenting & adding value to your conversations.)
No eye contact now: Hiding, afraid to show herself, possibly self conscious, fear of showing emotion. I do this.
Won't talk openly in front of others: She may not be sure if you're "cool" with her showing you attn. sounds crazy, but I do this a lot.
Doesn't make a huge show when you walk in: Play it safe and don't let him know I like him that much. I do this.
Doesn't flirt by touching your arm like everyone else's: Reserve flirting for people it won't matter to. Self protection. Don't let him think I like him too much; I could blow it and lose him if too forward. I do this.
Texting content: She's trying to tell you facts about herself to start breaking down her bad points to see if you'll stick around. She tells you there's things that suck about her. She's putting herself down indicating low self confidence, thinking she's not good enough. She's also waiting for you to say YOU LIKE HER DESPITE WHAT SHE MAY SAY SUCKS ABOUT HERSELF. When she says "don't we all have that?", she's temporarily downplaying her faults so she doesn't give it away that she's down on herself. Your response? No, we're all fine... It's just you that sucks. (she took that as a hit) She says "You are pretty awesome" to try to lure you in more by complimenting you and taking attn off her faults. Your response? "You have no idea." (Her interpretation: So you think I suck,you didn't tell me anything good about myself, you can see I'm telling you I have faults and all you think about is how awesome YOU are?) She gets cold because she got nothing from you. No reassurance that you likened despite her faults, no compliments, no letting her know that it's ok to let her guard down. She's into you and showing all the signs that I show when I am crazy about someone and afraid to mess up and let my guard down. Start amping up your ability to reassure her. Be her man and make her FEEL IT! If you want to catch her, you have to let her know it's not only $ &@ you want... It's HER that matters, and faults are acceptable. Make her feel like you're thinking of her constantly and she will actually feel its ok to be who she is. She pretty much thinks she's not good enough, and yet she knows she shouldn't feel that way. You aren't seeing her clues. Go back and read your texts.
Won't talk openly in front of others: She may not be sure if you're "cool" with her showing you attn. sounds crazy, but I do this a lot.
Doesn't make a huge show when you walk in: Play it safe and don't let him know I like him that much. I do this.
Doesn't flirt by touching your arm like everyone else's: Reserve flirting for people it won't matter to. Self protection. Don't let him think I like him too much; I could blow it and lose him if too forward. I do this.
Texting content: She's trying to tell you facts about herself to start breaking down her bad points to see if you'll stick around. She tells you there's things that suck about her. She's putting herself down indicating low self confidence, thinking she's not good enough. She's also waiting for you to say YOU LIKE HER DESPITE WHAT SHE MAY SAY SUCKS ABOUT HERSELF. When she says "don't we all have that?", she's temporarily downplaying her faults so she doesn't give it away that she's down on herself. Your response? No, we're all fine... It's just you that sucks. (she took that as a hit) She says "You are pretty awesome" to try to lure you in more by complimenting you and taking attn off her faults. Your response? "You have no idea." (Her interpretation: So you think I suck,you didn't tell me anything good about myself, you can see I'm telling you I have faults and all you think about is how awesome YOU are?) She gets cold because she got nothing from you. No reassurance that you likened despite her faults, no compliments, no letting her know that it's ok to let her guard down. She's into you and showing all the signs that I show when I am crazy about someone and afraid to mess up and let my guard down. Start amping up your ability to reassure her. Be her man and make her FEEL IT! If you want to catch her, you have to let her know it's not only $ &@ you want... It's HER that matters, and faults are acceptable. Make her feel like you're thinking of her constantly and she will actually feel its ok to be who she is. She pretty much thinks she's not good enough, and yet she knows she shouldn't feel that way. You aren't seeing her clues. Go back and read your texts.
Please enlighten me if you have some time to read my story. I'm so sorry but it's long. I'm speaking from the heart and if you're anything like him, I need your input. I met him bc his wife was dumping him for another guy and he turned to me for help in hooking him up with a buyer for his home and some legal help. He couldn't even think straight and was devastated. I was his sound board and his "way out" with a level head. Instantly I fell for him and got extremely attached to trying to save him and give him a confidante he could trust, hoping he'd feel the same once his head cleared from the pain of all of it. I knew he was beaten down bad by her, lost his home, and pretty much all he had, and he had to move about 2 hrs away from his daughter (hard on him but best place to go was back to his home town), and I was really all he had to confide in other than his family. We spoke for literally hours by phone, sometimes a couple times a week. The rest was daily texting about how to deal with his situation legally (I have background in that) and we would joke around as well. I knew we were attaching and adored him. He KNEW I'd do anything for him. I knew everything about his finances, new living situation, past gf's, childhood, family and life in general, but mostly what she did to him to break him. She was brutal and I'm 100% sure of it. He drank a lot. I think he got addicted to my fixing his situation while having someone to vent to while in the tub with a glass of wine and me on the phone for hours.
Long story short, he visited my town ONE NIGHT and we ended up going for drinks, and went back to my home and... well... Played checkers, if you know what I mean. There was chemistry but I was so nervous and crazy about him that I rushed it ensuring it would be done quick because it was too surreal having my dream come true there, knowing it may just end up hurting me if he was using me. That was last year. He had stayed the night, I admitted all my feelings to him about a month later and he said he wasn't able to get into a relationship -and even said I "baited" him by looking the way I did that night and being so nice to him. He said I knew from the start he was hurt and not ready and we should've never "played checkers" (ahem..) because while the papers were signed, the divorce wasnt signed off on by a judge yet, so he felt guilty. I was devastated bc we'd been working on his situation for about 6 months, with ALLLLL those hrs and days and months of him s
Long story short, he visited my town ONE NIGHT and we ended up going for drinks, and went back to my home and... well... Played checkers, if you know what I mean. There was chemistry but I was so nervous and crazy about him that I rushed it ensuring it would be done quick because it was too surreal having my dream come true there, knowing it may just end up hurting me if he was using me. That was last year. He had stayed the night, I admitted all my feelings to him about a month later and he said he wasn't able to get into a relationship -and even said I "baited" him by looking the way I did that night and being so nice to him. He said I knew from the start he was hurt and not ready and we should've never "played checkers" (ahem..) because while the papers were signed, the divorce wasnt signed off on by a judge yet, so he felt guilty. I was devastated bc we'd been working on his situation for about 6 months, with ALLLLL those hrs and days and months of him s
... So here's the test. See if she will open up. Start to repeat something you already talked about and get her comfortable again opening up to you. Let her ramble on. If she closes off or gets cold, cut it short. Then start only texting her once a day. See if she tries to engage you via text. If she ignores texts often, or cuts you short, she's either testing you to see if you're playing her, or she's possibly trying to get away from someone else. Talk about yourself but really try to engage her. Don't misinterpret flirts for feelings. If she has feelings, she'll compliment you a lot, and try to keep YOU engaged. Another test- if you blow her off, and then reach out a day later and she responds quickly, then she's probably impulsive personality. If she waits the same amount of time to blow you off as you did to her, she's protecting herself. If she says "ah yeah I've been really busy" and acts like she doesn't care that you blew her off, she's probably trying to play it off that she doesn't care to protect herself. Watch for signs and tell us what she's doing.
Wait a minute. Before you go thinking this girl is either nuts or cheating on someone, I'm going to throw something else at you to think about.
First of all, I put myself in her shoes, and do you know what I would bet a fair amount of money on? Anxiety. Her actions in needing to leave could have been panic and over thinking. I do this myself. She could've worked herself up before hand, thinking you could be "the one", and may have been through a tremendous amount of hurt in the past. Defenses go up, ESPECIALLY IF she was in an abusive relationship. Believe me, when she said she doesn't tell many people something, yet she's telling you, that is an OPEN DOOR. She is probably terrified. And IF this is anxiety related, she will NOT COMMIT to a date until she is sure she feels ok enough to go without going into another panic. I've done this too. Say what you want about people with anxiety disorder but it hugely stems from very, very bad past relationships. You could be what's exciting her. The lack of looking in your eyes is also a dead giveaway. I do this too. It's fear of you seeing into me, or fear of you hurting me, or fear of you seeing who I am and rejecting me. It sounds like a classic case of "I'm in trouble and I can't run, but I can go be alone and gather myself until I'm better." As for the person that told you she's dating someone, don't ask her if it's true. She will think you're stalking her and we are very sensitive to that, giving more reason to run. If she is dating someone and she's out on a "get together" with you, I can almost promise you, she is probably planning on leaving that guy. I've been down that road too, and feared that every guy I met was a player.... (part 1)
First of all, I put myself in her shoes, and do you know what I would bet a fair amount of money on? Anxiety. Her actions in needing to leave could have been panic and over thinking. I do this myself. She could've worked herself up before hand, thinking you could be "the one", and may have been through a tremendous amount of hurt in the past. Defenses go up, ESPECIALLY IF she was in an abusive relationship. Believe me, when she said she doesn't tell many people something, yet she's telling you, that is an OPEN DOOR. She is probably terrified. And IF this is anxiety related, she will NOT COMMIT to a date until she is sure she feels ok enough to go without going into another panic. I've done this too. Say what you want about people with anxiety disorder but it hugely stems from very, very bad past relationships. You could be what's exciting her. The lack of looking in your eyes is also a dead giveaway. I do this too. It's fear of you seeing into me, or fear of you hurting me, or fear of you seeing who I am and rejecting me. It sounds like a classic case of "I'm in trouble and I can't run, but I can go be alone and gather myself until I'm better." As for the person that told you she's dating someone, don't ask her if it's true. She will think you're stalking her and we are very sensitive to that, giving more reason to run. If she is dating someone and she's out on a "get together" with you, I can almost promise you, she is probably planning on leaving that guy. I've been down that road too, and feared that every guy I met was a player.... (part 1)