Message Posts by wondering scorpio
At that time I still had my illusions and did not believe that men could be so cynical. I thought he just does not have the money to pay me back and that??s why ashamed to talk to me. For some reason I really emphasized with him (typical female trait). Well, I sent him a message on his phone that money is just paper and he should not worry about it. A few weeks later I sent him a friendly supportive postcard telling that I am confident that he will manage with all the problems that fell on him and he should trust himself and believe in himself like I trust and believe in him. I think it is way better than to be a doormate, hopefully it will wake up his consciousness at some point.
But my question is, how will he live with such consciousness? Sold our friendship and his male honor for as cheap as 1000 bucks??_ I just lost the money, but this humiliating story will stay with him to the rest of his life. I don??t believe people (especially men) ??? I don??t care cancerians or not ??? can just erase such things from their minds. This question goes a bit beyond just male-female relationships, what do you think?
I do not intend to contact him anytime soon, and am actually going for a date with a local cancerian guy tonight. But in July I will be in France for a month on a course, only 120 km from the town he lives. It would be stupid not to use this occasion somehow, perhaps to return the money or teach him a good lesson??_ But how? Any creative ideas?
But my question is, how will he live with such consciousness? Sold our friendship and his male honor for as cheap as 1000 bucks??_ I just lost the money, but this humiliating story will stay with him to the rest of his life. I don??t believe people (especially men) ??? I don??t care cancerians or not ??? can just erase such things from their minds. This question goes a bit beyond just male-female relationships, what do you think?
I do not intend to contact him anytime soon, and am actually going for a date with a local cancerian guy tonight. But in July I will be in France for a month on a course, only 120 km from the town he lives. It would be stupid not to use this occasion somehow, perhaps to return the money or teach him a good lesson??_ But how? Any creative ideas?
Thank you, magic woman, you are speaking from my heart. But it took me lots of pain and thinking to get there. It still seems like in this story I was placed between the devil and the deep blue sea. On one hand, my basic Christian values will not allow me to abandon any person under such hardship (and Thai jail is pure hell, believe me!), on another hand giving out so much for a man jeopardizes his feelings, it??s true. Tough choices! Knowing myself, I would be suffering much more if I had abandoned him in jail, I would be thinking low of myself. But it was a good lesson and I promised to myself that I will never ever open my wallet to a man again.
I did a few more things, you might consider them silly ??? I called the guy sometimes in April, we chatted for a few minutes and he told me that he has no internet and his apartment building is being taken down (I know he is not lying about this), and went on how unhappy he is as he has no place to live, no family who can support him, blah, blah, poor thing??_ Then he asked my permission to call me back in 5 minutes??_ And guess what??_
I did a few more things, you might consider them silly ??? I called the guy sometimes in April, we chatted for a few minutes and he told me that he has no internet and his apartment building is being taken down (I know he is not lying about this), and went on how unhappy he is as he has no place to live, no family who can support him, blah, blah, poor thing??_ Then he asked my permission to call me back in 5 minutes??_ And guess what??_
Hi krobe03,
I have been reading your posts with great interest, you seemed to be a real cancerian expert. I am completely lost in this game, can you elaborate on your comment? What do you see here as a typical Cancer man trait? As I see it, you never fail to give a good advice. Just curious...
I have been reading your posts with great interest, you seemed to be a real cancerian expert. I am completely lost in this game, can you elaborate on your comment? What do you see here as a typical Cancer man trait? As I see it, you never fail to give a good advice. Just curious...
I could have done a lot of things like making him write a promissory note, getting wittnesses (our common friends who were there as well), taking his golden ring with diamonds (it pay at least one third). But I HAVE CHOSEN to do nothing, did not even get a receipt from the Thai police. Destiny gave me a chance to put him and our relationship through a test and I am grateful for it. Now it is only black or white, right or left, north or south, no shades, nothing in between...
I know, it sounds illogical, but there is usually not much logics when it comes to feelings and relationships. Human connections don't have much to do with timing either. Some people and things we come in contact with just briefly, but remember them to the rest of our lives. Especially under such circumstances.
The reason why I am biting my tail now is because I am afraid that he could turn out to be a bad lemon. My intuition was telling me good things about this guy and his heart. If the story is finished at this point, it means I cannot trust my intuition about people anymore. And it makes me sad.
Of course, it is not about money. It is about trust and his free choice. I am ready to lose this money, but how will he live with such a skeleton in the closet of his mind? Will he be able to ever FEEL good about himself even if he tries to look good in front of ladies?
My wicked scropio ways to test people...
I know, it sounds illogical, but there is usually not much logics when it comes to feelings and relationships. Human connections don't have much to do with timing either. Some people and things we come in contact with just briefly, but remember them to the rest of our lives. Especially under such circumstances.
The reason why I am biting my tail now is because I am afraid that he could turn out to be a bad lemon. My intuition was telling me good things about this guy and his heart. If the story is finished at this point, it means I cannot trust my intuition about people anymore. And it makes me sad.
Of course, it is not about money. It is about trust and his free choice. I am ready to lose this money, but how will he live with such a skeleton in the closet of his mind? Will he be able to ever FEEL good about himself even if he tries to look good in front of ladies?
My wicked scropio ways to test people...
Thank you everyone for empowering me.
You are so right in everything you say...
Just one thing crosses my naive mind: no matter how wicked a person is, would he be able to sell his soul for as cheap as 1000 Euro? For me it's just the money, just paper, but can one live after this with such consciousness? To the rest of his life? Do you actually believe it is possible?
A few links about the hell he managed to escaped with my "benjamins"(by the way, his name is also Benjamin and he is French, not a local Thai boy):
www.radio.cz/en/article/89528
www.youtube.com/watch
www.thaivisa.com/forum/Bri...46887.html
What I saw in this jail was pure hell! I was vomiting from stress when I saw all those Aussies/Europeans behind the bars - males and females locked like monkeys in the zoo, toilet sink in the middle of the cell, cement floors. Next day they were supposed to be moved to the ???real?? jail with the real criminals and experience all the local ???fun?? ??? gang bang, TB, violence. I could not take it, would do anything to help... I simply could not allow a fellow European to go through this, please understand me... Perhaps deep inside I had a bit more reason for helping him escape than my low self-esteem and inability to say "no"...
But I promise I will keep all your advise in mind! Immature men are a-holes, should not be trusted??_
You are so right in everything you say...
Just one thing crosses my naive mind: no matter how wicked a person is, would he be able to sell his soul for as cheap as 1000 Euro? For me it's just the money, just paper, but can one live after this with such consciousness? To the rest of his life? Do you actually believe it is possible?
A few links about the hell he managed to escaped with my "benjamins"(by the way, his name is also Benjamin and he is French, not a local Thai boy):
www.radio.cz/en/article/89528
www.youtube.com/watch
www.thaivisa.com/forum/Bri...46887.html
What I saw in this jail was pure hell! I was vomiting from stress when I saw all those Aussies/Europeans behind the bars - males and females locked like monkeys in the zoo, toilet sink in the middle of the cell, cement floors. Next day they were supposed to be moved to the ???real?? jail with the real criminals and experience all the local ???fun?? ??? gang bang, TB, violence. I could not take it, would do anything to help... I simply could not allow a fellow European to go through this, please understand me... Perhaps deep inside I had a bit more reason for helping him escape than my low self-esteem and inability to say "no"...
But I promise I will keep all your advise in mind! Immature men are a-holes, should not be trusted??_
Interestingly enough, just called him, for the first time got through... He is rambling about that his house being taken down and him having to move in one month, not having internet connection and not checking his emails. Promised to call me in 5 minutes--- 20 minutes have passed... Wow-wow! What is going on...
Inbelievable, so much pain for actually doing a good deed. Pain for him and his doing, pain for myself for being used like a "wallet". It's not about money at all... I wonder weather he will ever have that guilty conscious to stew in...
Inbelievable, so much pain for actually doing a good deed. Pain for him and his doing, pain for myself for being used like a "wallet". It's not about money at all... I wonder weather he will ever have that guilty conscious to stew in...
The whole story happened in Thailand, but does it matter after all... :0(
He is actually French, I also live in Europe.
krysrenee7,
Thanks for your honest reply, I guess my romantic feelings needed a cold shower. I was wondering myself whether he was a scam, why then - would he give me his home address from day one and add me to his facebook where I could get access to all his relatives? I actually did not give him the money, I paid the bail to the police, so he never got rich out of it. At the same time I am wondering why would he call me when he got back home asking for the ways he could pay off his debt? Isn't it much easier just to vanish from the start?
"The question is, what are you going to do from here on out? You should know by now that the chances of getting your money back is slim"
I am thinking about going to his country this summer for a language course anyway. Why not paying him an unexpected visit just to talk it out? We always had a good communication.
What concerns me is the fact that one's altruistic actions can backfire in such a manner and it really hurts. I admit I still have feelings and dillusions about this guy and it was not about money after all. But tell me: would it be better off if I'd closed my wallet and let him stay in this terrible place with gang rapes and 75 people in 10 meter cells sleeping on a cement floor? How human would it be? I would like a man (perhaps a good-hearted Cancerian man) to honestly answer this question as well: is it such a big turn off??? If so, I really need to rethink my values. Although at this point of time I would rather lose this money or any money than to turn my heart into ice.
Thanks for your honest reply, I guess my romantic feelings needed a cold shower. I was wondering myself whether he was a scam, why then - would he give me his home address from day one and add me to his facebook where I could get access to all his relatives? I actually did not give him the money, I paid the bail to the police, so he never got rich out of it. At the same time I am wondering why would he call me when he got back home asking for the ways he could pay off his debt? Isn't it much easier just to vanish from the start?
"The question is, what are you going to do from here on out? You should know by now that the chances of getting your money back is slim"
I am thinking about going to his country this summer for a language course anyway. Why not paying him an unexpected visit just to talk it out? We always had a good communication.
What concerns me is the fact that one's altruistic actions can backfire in such a manner and it really hurts. I admit I still have feelings and dillusions about this guy and it was not about money after all. But tell me: would it be better off if I'd closed my wallet and let him stay in this terrible place with gang rapes and 75 people in 10 meter cells sleeping on a cement floor? How human would it be? I would like a man (perhaps a good-hearted Cancerian man) to honestly answer this question as well: is it such a big turn off??? If so, I really need to rethink my values. Although at this point of time I would rather lose this money or any money than to turn my heart into ice.
I met this Cancer guy during my trip to Asia this winter. It was a nice and sweet friendship: elephant rides, swimming together, shopping, restaurants, romantic walks, sweet talks. His English is terrible, but the connection between us was perfect ??? very emotional and we could read each others minds! No sex, no messing around even when we slept in the same bed (it happened twice). He is 10 years younger, and I did not want to spoil anything by moving things too fast. I felt we were getting closer and closer, I sensed he was pulling me away from the rest of the group, smiling, calling me ???his girlfriend??, ???princess??, ???perfect woman?? - outside I acted like the one, but inside did not take it seriously. Thinking back I realize I probably provoked his jelousy too because I thought he was too passive.
The actual nightmare happened during the New Year beach party ??? he smoked a joint and got into jail for it. I know for sure it is not his first joint, but the alternative was to leave him in this nightmarish Asian jail for at least 3 months or bail him out for 1000 Euro. Well, I preferred the last option, staying one more day in this hell would have killed him for sure.
He came back home safe, called me in January, spoke very emotionally, talked about his mom crying over what has happened to him, about his dogs, wanted to return the money, was concerned about it. This amount equals his monthly salary, and I did not pressure him. Than he vanished for 3 weeks and re-appeared in February writing that he has got the money and again ??? sweet, long, very emotional, admiring telephone talks. I told him I would have liked to come and visit him in April, and we agreed to move our communication to a webcam the next day (it was his initiative).
And what?? He never called and just vanished! It has been 2,5 months since I heard from him. He did not transfer the money, never returned my call (I left a message once), did not respond to my recent email with a slight reminder about the debt. He cut me off! He is still among my facebook friends and I can see he has been there at least twice during this time, so the guy is alive. But when I call (even from hidden number), I get the answering machine.
My mind is boiling while trying to find different explanations. Did he move on and forgot about me and the whole story? Do Cancers have a short memory and forget people so quickly? What could be going on? What is my best strategy? I feel like I have fallen for t
The actual nightmare happened during the New Year beach party ??? he smoked a joint and got into jail for it. I know for sure it is not his first joint, but the alternative was to leave him in this nightmarish Asian jail for at least 3 months or bail him out for 1000 Euro. Well, I preferred the last option, staying one more day in this hell would have killed him for sure.
He came back home safe, called me in January, spoke very emotionally, talked about his mom crying over what has happened to him, about his dogs, wanted to return the money, was concerned about it. This amount equals his monthly salary, and I did not pressure him. Than he vanished for 3 weeks and re-appeared in February writing that he has got the money and again ??? sweet, long, very emotional, admiring telephone talks. I told him I would have liked to come and visit him in April, and we agreed to move our communication to a webcam the next day (it was his initiative).
And what?? He never called and just vanished! It has been 2,5 months since I heard from him. He did not transfer the money, never returned my call (I left a message once), did not respond to my recent email with a slight reminder about the debt. He cut me off! He is still among my facebook friends and I can see he has been there at least twice during this time, so the guy is alive. But when I call (even from hidden number), I get the answering machine.
My mind is boiling while trying to find different explanations. Did he move on and forgot about me and the whole story? Do Cancers have a short memory and forget people so quickly? What could be going on? What is my best strategy? I feel like I have fallen for t
I met this Cancer guy during my trip to Asia this winter. It was a nice and sweet friendship: elephant rides, swimming together, shopping, restaurants, romantic walks, sweet talks. His English is terrible, but the connection between us was perfect ??? very emotional and we could read each others minds! No sex, no messing around even when we slept in the same bed (it happened twice). He is 10 years younger, and I did not want to spoil anything by moving things too fast. I felt we were getting closer and closer, I sensed he was pulling me away from the rest of the group, smiling, calling me ???his girlfriend??, ???princess??, ???perfect woman?? - outside I acted like the one, but inside did not take it seriously. Thinking back I realize I probably provoked his jelousy too because I thought he was too passive.
The actual nightmare happened during the New Year beach party ??? he smoked a joint and got into jail for it. I know for sure it is not his first joint, but the alternative was to leave him in this nightmarish Asian jail for at least 3 months or bail him out for 1000 Euro. Well, I preferred the last option, staying one more day in this hell would have killed him for sure.
He came back home safe, called me in January, spoke very emotionally, talked about his mom crying over what has happened to him, about his dogs, wanted to return the money, was concerned about it. This amount equals his monthly salary, and I did not pressure him. Than he vanished for 3 weeks and re-appeared in February writing that he has got the money and again ??? sweet, long, very emotional, admiring telephone talks. I told him I would have liked to come and visit him in April, and we agreed to move our communication to a webcam the next day (it was his initiative).
And what?? He never called and just vanished! It has been 2,5 months since I heard from him. He did not transfer the money, never returned my call (I left a message once), did not respond to my recent email with a slight reminder about the debt. He cut me off! He is still among my facebook friends and I can see he has been there at least twice during this time, so the guy is alive. But when I call (even from hidden number), I get the answering machine.
My mind is boiling while trying to find different explanations. Reading about Cancerians, I can see that they vanish when they "process" emotions. Can this take that long - 3 months? My question is whether he could have moved on and forgotten about me an
The actual nightmare happened during the New Year beach party ??? he smoked a joint and got into jail for it. I know for sure it is not his first joint, but the alternative was to leave him in this nightmarish Asian jail for at least 3 months or bail him out for 1000 Euro. Well, I preferred the last option, staying one more day in this hell would have killed him for sure.
He came back home safe, called me in January, spoke very emotionally, talked about his mom crying over what has happened to him, about his dogs, wanted to return the money, was concerned about it. This amount equals his monthly salary, and I did not pressure him. Than he vanished for 3 weeks and re-appeared in February writing that he has got the money and again ??? sweet, long, very emotional, admiring telephone talks. I told him I would have liked to come and visit him in April, and we agreed to move our communication to a webcam the next day (it was his initiative).
And what?? He never called and just vanished! It has been 2,5 months since I heard from him. He did not transfer the money, never returned my call (I left a message once), did not respond to my recent email with a slight reminder about the debt. He cut me off! He is still among my facebook friends and I can see he has been there at least twice during this time, so the guy is alive. But when I call (even from hidden number), I get the answering machine.
My mind is boiling while trying to find different explanations. Reading about Cancerians, I can see that they vanish when they "process" emotions. Can this take that long - 3 months? My question is whether he could have moved on and forgotten about me an