Comments
Messages
Posted by colorsPosted by RomanticGhostLoaf
However, he's now re-entered my life, having split with his gf a year ago. We went on a long date 2,5 weeks ago which was really good, he talked about his life being problematic but that he likes me and that's why he got in touch. We kissed but nothing more.
Since then he's been a bit distant. He called a few days after our date and we had a nice chat, then I called about a week later but it's now been over a week with no contact at all. Last I spoke to him he said that his ex is now threatening to go to court over custody and he's very anxious about it, apologised about it being 'not fun' for me and how he wished things were simpler. We live about an hour apart and there's been no talk of meeting up again (not that that's easy during this pandemic, he's also high risk. Both of us were shielding prior to meeting up)
My question is how to navigate this, and best support him (if that's what he wants).
I don't think he expects or you owe any support to him. You can if you want to but if you do that to push things forward it may backfire. Also, I think he should put in more effort, he mentioned he liked you and then backed away. His situation with his ex does not seem like he must not be aware of when he met you for the date. I would think best is to let him come back, you can check-in if you feel like but in a detached way that he does not feel you are more interested in him than he is in you. It's really your call. I think he is at fault here for leading you on and then giving relationship issues as an excuse. Maybe it is not an excuse but then he can still reach out as it is not a new situation for him. Or maybe he really needs space to focus on his issues? I know it is hard when a guy shows interest and then makes you think about him more, but the power of how you react is in your own hands.click to expand
I know what you're saying, and on the whole I agree. I kind of wish he hadn't started this because honestly the world feels so bleak right now and I really liked having a bit of romance on the horizon. And what's the point of saying you like someone and then disappearing, regardless of reason? I mean I've had it happen before so I should be used to it but it just sucks every time. I wouldn't do it to anyone. He might not want to upset me but not having any communication is worse, I'd much rather know where we stand even if it's not the answer I want.
Posted by PhoenixStorm
I have a male Scorpio friend with similar placements, except he has libra moon and cap venus. He gets like this where he withdraws and goes quiet when he’s stressed out and overwhelmed. I would not take it personally. I agree with others to offer to be there for him without being pushy. At the same time, don’t hold your breath or put your life on hold for him.
Thank you - I do get the sense he's completely overwhelmed, and I think he's slow at the best of times anyway. I'm going to get in touch in a bit and see how he's doing. I wish the world didn't feel quite so bleak at the moment, it's making me a bit more invested in this than I'd like at this stage. xx
Posted by LuxePurrThank you, I agree and I would quite like to - but I'm living with an 82-year old lady so have to be very careful about meeting people. The Scorpio feels safe because he is also shielding so minimum risk. But yes, I am still on the apps and am talking to other people. I guess everything is quite slow at the moment... xx
Just let him come to you.
In the meantime, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Date other people, him being distant won't matter to you when you do that unless you guys already agreed to be exclusive.
Posted by Arinoaqua
I find the best way to encourage a new relationship when one person is going through something difficult is to be the person that gets their mind off of it. Be the port in the storm so to speak. If you want to reach out then reach out...with a funny story or a song or whatever. Something low pressure. Don’t come at them with heavy talk and questions of what are we and where is this going. Eventually they will seek you out more and more.
Thank you - this resonates with me and intuitively is what I'd like to do, I've just been overthinking it as I don't want to be yet another thing on the stress pile. But will reach out and keep it light. xx
About ten years ago, in my late 20s, I briefly dated an older Scorpio man (gemini moon, cap venus) who I was very into. I was a bit immature, he wasn't as keen and our connection fizzled. We've had sporadic contact over the years but only met up once, about two years ago, for a coffee. He had a girlfriend and they got a 4-year old son.
However, he's now re-entered my life, having split with his gf a year ago. We went on a long date 2,5 weeks ago which was really good, he talked about his life being problematic but that he likes me and that's why he got in touch. We kissed but nothing more.
Since then he's been a bit distant. He called a few days after our date and we had a nice chat, then I called about a week later but it's now been over a week with no contact at all. Last I spoke to him he said that his ex is now threatening to go to court over custody and he's very anxious about it, apologised about it being 'not fun' for me and how he wished things were simpler. We live about an hour apart and there's been no talk of meeting up again (not that that's easy during this pandemic, he's also high risk. Both of us were shielding prior to meeting up)
My question is how to navigate this, and best support him (if that's what he wants). I'm assuming he's just quiet because of the situation with his ex - which would be totally understandable - I keep reading that Scorpios tend to withdraw and need a lot of alone time at the best of times. However, I have been ghosted many times and so am a bit paranoid. Of course I could just ask him what the deal is, but I worry that he'll then decide to call it quits as it's easier. Shall I just leave it be for a bit and give him space to figure things out..? Or maybe it's better to call him & reiterate that I'm here if he needs me? It's not as if we're knee deep into a relationship so I don't want to be overly familiar & pushy either. Help?
However, he's now re-entered my life, having split with his gf a year ago. We went on a long date 2,5 weeks ago which was really good, he talked about his life being problematic but that he likes me and that's why he got in touch. We kissed but nothing more.
Since then he's been a bit distant. He called a few days after our date and we had a nice chat, then I called about a week later but it's now been over a week with no contact at all. Last I spoke to him he said that his ex is now threatening to go to court over custody and he's very anxious about it, apologised about it being 'not fun' for me and how he wished things were simpler. We live about an hour apart and there's been no talk of meeting up again (not that that's easy during this pandemic, he's also high risk. Both of us were shielding prior to meeting up)
My question is how to navigate this, and best support him (if that's what he wants). I'm assuming he's just quiet because of the situation with his ex - which would be totally understandable - I keep reading that Scorpios tend to withdraw and need a lot of alone time at the best of times. However, I have been ghosted many times and so am a bit paranoid. Of course I could just ask him what the deal is, but I worry that he'll then decide to call it quits as it's easier. Shall I just leave it be for a bit and give him space to figure things out..? Or maybe it's better to call him & reiterate that I'm here if he needs me? It's not as if we're knee deep into a relationship so I don't want to be overly familiar & pushy either. Help?
**sorry - phone put this in cancer forum first **
Hi all,
I went on a date with a Sagittarius the other day. It went really well, we got on great & kissed at the end. He’s said he wants to see me again.
However, halfway through the date he casually dropped that he “doesn’t believe in monogamy”. I like to believe men when they say things like that, and so I’m not sure I should see him again despite really liking each other, as it might just be a waste of time. Nothing wrong in polyamory, but personally it’s not what I want.
However - his Venus & rising placements would point me towards a far more traditional relationship view than what he said, so maybe it would be premature to throw in the towel?
Me: Aries, sag moon, Taurus Venus, libra rising.
Him: sag moon, cap Venus, cancer rising.
I’ve never really dated a sag before so would appreciate any input. “Should I stay or should I go now”, etc
Hi all,
I went on a date with a Sagittarius the other day. It went really well, we got on great & kissed at the end. He’s said he wants to see me again.
However, halfway through the date he casually dropped that he “doesn’t believe in monogamy”. I like to believe men when they say things like that, and so I’m not sure I should see him again despite really liking each other, as it might just be a waste of time. Nothing wrong in polyamory, but personally it’s not what I want.
However - his Venus & rising placements would point me towards a far more traditional relationship view than what he said, so maybe it would be premature to throw in the towel?
Me: Aries, sag moon, Taurus Venus, libra rising.
Him: sag moon, cap Venus, cancer rising.
I’ve never really dated a sag before so would appreciate any input. “Should I stay or should I go now”, etc
I've been FWB with a Cap guy for about 6 years, and while he is hilarious (one of the funniest people I ever met), his sense of humour does definitely have an element of this. Jokes are often tinged with insults and he seems to like to put people down, and as he is very quick witted and smart it's very quick and cleverly done. In his defence (well...) he does the same to himself.
Idk if it's a Cap thing, but what your date said is definitely something that 'my' cap could have said in a heartbeat. I think it could be a power thing - my cap hates to be seen as vulnerable (or with any emotions for that matter), so it's easier for him to joke in an insulting way and keep the power balance in his favour. It's often confusing (especially to a naive aries like me) and it's taken me many years to understand. I would think that your cap is drawn to you but for whatever reason it makes him feel vulnerable, so to regain control he made a 'joke' which made you feel insecure.
Sometimes I think it's not meant as harsh as it comes out, for sure, but I know how you feel - been there many times!
Idk if it's a Cap thing, but what your date said is definitely something that 'my' cap could have said in a heartbeat. I think it could be a power thing - my cap hates to be seen as vulnerable (or with any emotions for that matter), so it's easier for him to joke in an insulting way and keep the power balance in his favour. It's often confusing (especially to a naive aries like me) and it's taken me many years to understand. I would think that your cap is drawn to you but for whatever reason it makes him feel vulnerable, so to regain control he made a 'joke' which made you feel insecure.
Sometimes I think it's not meant as harsh as it comes out, for sure, but I know how you feel - been there many times!
Posted by ShaniajamYeah, I mean this guy ghosted on me back in August and now is back. Almost a year later... I'm keeping him at arm's length atm, because he disappeared without even saying a word, and like yours, now he's acting like it never happened? Weird.Posted by RomanticGhostLoafInteresting the Virgo I'm seeing/friends with is also sun and Venus in virgo... he's flaked on me and I backed off and then he's back days later... like he never left and I'm like, huh? I've decided not to try to figure it out and if it's meant to be it will and if he wants to pursue more then he'll just keep popping up until I either find someone or we end up together... I'm a Taurus and I'm slow but virgos take the cake
Haha I was just wondering about this very same thing - I briefly dated a virgo last summer that I really liked, but then he ghosted me. He's just reappeared and is very keen to meet up. He's a venus virgo as well as sun virgo. I'm just baffled.click to expand
I'm an aries sun w/taurus venus, so I'm quite slow and cautious in love - don't think I scared him away.
I'd make your virgo work for it, keep him at arm's length a bit. They seem to often have a lot of emotional issues which is fine if you're up for dealing with that kind of thing, I'm not really... I'm gathering they get more interested in distant women that they have to work a bit for, as they get suspicious when things are too nice and easy, but I don't know. Hope your virgo/virgo sorts himself out..!
Haha I was just wondering about this very same thing - I briefly dated a virgo last summer that I really liked, but then he ghosted me. He's just reappeared and is very keen to meet up. He's a venus virgo as well as sun virgo. I'm just baffled.
Posted by LibrasettingHaha this made me laugh! Actually, I invited him + his wife to dinner along with some other colleagues, but after not responding for ages he then rejected the invitation last minute, so I doubt it. I've never met her.
Well we do like to flirt but if I was married I wouldn't do too much flirting but honestly every couple is different so who knows they could be swingers or maybe he's trying to take you home to his wife so they can have their way with you lol the worse would be him just cheating.
My rising is Libra, I should've mentioned... perhaps I know them better than I think, ha.
Posted by FashionNovaThanks for your input! Very useful. I don't want anything to happen tbh as he is married, I'm just finding his behaviour confusing. But it's good to hear it can be all pure attraction with no real substance behind it.
Hi,
I am a Libra and yes we flirt. The catch is more times than not it's simply from attraction and nothing real behind it. He can flirt with you day and night and not want anything more. We like the attention and the fact that we have you engaged.
He will step out of line if it something he really wants. DO NOT cross that line blindly. Men are men and like to be in control at the end of the day, and want the prize when it comes to pursuit, they like the hunt. So you can flirt back but don't make the first move, especially since he is married.
Let him do ALL the work ?
Ps. I don't know what kind of company you work for but make sure and Look into the boss/employee dating clause, just to have balances checked.
I'll enjoy it for what it is - but try not to encourage it, which is a bit tricky tbh - and if he crosses a line I'll just have to deal with it then.
Hello,
I have quite limited experiences of libra men - but they are flirts, right? I recently started a new job with a small company, and my manager is a very lovely and charming libra. We get on incredibly well - I wouldn't enjoy the job half as much if it wasn't for him - but I'm finding the flirting a bit hard to navigate. He is married (happily, as far as I can gather) so nothing could ever happen, but I get the sense that if he wasn't he'd ask me out on a date.
So, I'm assuming that libras like to flirt, as do us Aries, but I don't want it to become something I read too much into or overstep. I'm a bit naive and can easily do/say things before thinking them through properly (oh hi Sagittarius moon).
Realising this is not much of a question, I guess I'm more after some general input on libras as my experience is limited. Go with the flirting or try to rein it in?
I have quite limited experiences of libra men - but they are flirts, right? I recently started a new job with a small company, and my manager is a very lovely and charming libra. We get on incredibly well - I wouldn't enjoy the job half as much if it wasn't for him - but I'm finding the flirting a bit hard to navigate. He is married (happily, as far as I can gather) so nothing could ever happen, but I get the sense that if he wasn't he'd ask me out on a date.
So, I'm assuming that libras like to flirt, as do us Aries, but I don't want it to become something I read too much into or overstep. I'm a bit naive and can easily do/say things before thinking them through properly (oh hi Sagittarius moon).
Realising this is not much of a question, I guess I'm more after some general input on libras as my experience is limited. Go with the flirting or try to rein it in?
Photos
Topics
Loading…