sweetlibra34 joined October 20, 2013
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I totally understand the frustration--I have been frustrated with trying to understand them myself. First of all, you need to have an immense amount of patience with the Cancer man. Also, the Cancer men I've dated have been very insecure, although you would never guess this from the way they carry themselves--confident and outgoing. Make sure you compliment them, but be genuine. Give him his space when he needs it, but remember to check in with them so they know you still care. Don't take their actions personally--this was a mistake I made initially. Cancer man will be lost in his own thoughts/problems and it can often seem as if it is about us, but it's not. They need time to figure out what they want/need and to process where the relationship is going. Don't get too clingy or overly emotional--this will make them run and hide. Also, don't feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them--you need to be firm with them when they are being hurtful or have done something wrong. Don't harp on the issue though, discuss it with them, forgive them, and then move on. Cancer men have big hearts and don't like to hurt others. With Cancer's it's all about time. Remember with them that "Time Will Tell." They play games to see how much you really like them, because like I said, they do this because they are insecure. Make sure that you let them know that you like them, but again, don??t be over emotional about it. Make sure to call them on their game playing???they??ll deny playing games, but once you call them on it they tend to stop. Be gentle, kind, and keep things light when you??re with them. They torture themselves enough when things are going wrong in their personal lives and they will want someone that they can enjoy easy drama-free time with. If you can make them laugh and smile it??s a plus! It seems like a lot of work, but they are certainly worth it. Once they start to let you in and trust you, it is amazing. Cancer men are certainly worth the effort 
This all, of course, is IMO and based on my relationships with Cancer men.
This all, of course, is IMO and based on my relationships with Cancer men.Posted by cancerlady33
True. Or he has options and is undecided at the moment so he would keep her around while still juggling others.He wont let her stay but he also wont let her leave until he is decided or ready. If you feel this is the case, I would have a chat with him about how you feel and give him at least a month with no contact to allow him to see how his life looks without you. If he comes back, let him work for you and show you that you are a priority and not just an option.
That's great advice--I agree! Cancer men are sensitive and seem to take a while to decide on what they want, but at some point they also need to be held accountable.
Posted by Karka
Don't act so hasty to tell him or them about how feel about them.
I don't tell them right away how I feel about them, me telling them usually comes after a comment that they have made questioning if I like them or not and even then I keep it simple like, "I like you and my time with you."
Posted by woodenmeow
@Sweetlibra34 -
I am dealing with the same situation with the cancer man I have been seeing for the past 3 months.
I was honest with my feelings and he started to pull back too. Since I have he has shown a little more interest. He keeps telling me to relax and that his head is elsewhere. The he tells me he is thinking about setting down and smiles at me. CONFUSING. Feels like I am playing red light, green light when I was a kid.
I just want to wait around on someone that doesn't know what he wants. He is 42 and that is just too old to be sooooo confused.
I started a topic for help myself. I think the Cancer guy is nice enough but it just seems like he is making too hard.
@woodenmeow--Wow! I'm beginning to wonder if we're not dating the same person, lol. My Cancer is also 42 years old and is playing the same exact game. I keep hearing myself say, "he's 42, he's too old to not know what he wants at this point!" I also think my Cancer is a super nice guy but he seems to be so unsure about everything. Every time I pull back, he comes around and asks if I still like him. It is so confusing. He's lucky he's cute, charming and a genuinely good guy or I would be done.
Posted by Latingal415
Give him time to think about his feelings but keep checking on him. Cancers can be indecisive sometimes. We prefer you to be direct but some can get scared off and hide inside their shells until they figure out what they want. Cancers are very confusing ppl. I sometimes don't even understand myself_???
That's what I do with them--give them their space, but check on them every now and again. I have heard that sometimes the biggest battle Cancers deal with is trying to understand themselves. Thanks
Divorce is not easy at all. The fact that he has blocked you from everything could just be his way of getting a handle on his own feelings and emotions that he's dealing with. Libra's are great at helping others and giving advice, but when we feel overwhelmed--and it takes A LOT to get there, we will shut down. I spent the last year going through a divorce myself and during that time I blocked a ton of people from text, call, deactivated my Facebook, Twitter, etc. It really wasn't about anyone else but about me needing to get a handle on what was happening and making sure that my priority--my son--was taken care of. Give it time. I know it's hard, especially when you care about somebody so much. Planning any type of accidental "meet up" will only make things worse. If he is avoiding all other contact, face-to-face contact will not end well and may even push him further. He will know what you're doing and possibly lose respect for you and get further turned off by the game playing. Let him be, Libra's are good at forgiving and getting over things but it needs to come in their time.
Good luck and I hope you find the peace you need to in order to let everything happen the way it needs to. Take this time and do something for yourself
Good luck and I hope you find the peace you need to in order to let everything happen the way it needs to. Take this time and do something for yourself
Honestly, and this sounds horrible, but I would start to make excuses for why I couldn't see the guy or avoid contact altogether. I hate hurting someones feelings and I guess I just assume that if I'm too "busy" to see them or hang out with them, it will give them the hint they need to know I'm not interested. Also, if I don't return a phone call or a text in less than a few hours, it's not a good sign for the guy--especially since I live with my phone by my side. I am big on communication and when I stop communicating or find ways/reasons to avoid it, I'm not interested.
Good Luck!
Good Luck!
So after leaving my last cancer man because he was afraid to commit (he recently started contacting me again), I have begun dating another, yes, another cancer man--I don't know why but that is what I seem to attract.
Anyway, with this being my second cancer man I notice how insecure they can be. What do I need to do to help that? I was honest with the first one about my feelings and it seemed that when I told him how I felt about him, he backed off, but the minute I backed off, he was questioning if I still liked him. The same seems to be happening with this new cancer man. I truly don't understand. I know that they need space to figure out what their own feelings are--I am OK with that and am good at giving it to them, but it seems that when I give them the time they need, they start to question my feelings for them. I figured I better learn as much about the cancer man as that is what it seems are attracted to me lately. Added to that, I just LOVE the cancer man. The sweet nature, smile, stare--so endearing and I even find them adorable when they're being moody HELP!
Anyway, with this being my second cancer man I notice how insecure they can be. What do I need to do to help that? I was honest with the first one about my feelings and it seemed that when I told him how I felt about him, he backed off, but the minute I backed off, he was questioning if I still liked him. The same seems to be happening with this new cancer man. I truly don't understand. I know that they need space to figure out what their own feelings are--I am OK with that and am good at giving it to them, but it seems that when I give them the time they need, they start to question my feelings for them. I figured I better learn as much about the cancer man as that is what it seems are attracted to me lately. Added to that, I just LOVE the cancer man. The sweet nature, smile, stare--so endearing and I even find them adorable when they're being moody
HELP!As a Libra female and IMO, it's very difficult to explain love. Libra's want logical explanations for everything and like to figure things out through concrete examples and theories. Love is not something that can be described--at least not to a Libra. Love is something that needs to be felt. Because Libra's are known to be indecisive, when we are truly in love, we know it because we feel it deep down and there's no question in our minds. That being said, Libra's also love to be in love so we have to be careful to not confuse lust for love. See, there's the Libra in me trying to find that balance, lol.
VenusScorp--your words are kind, healing, and a great reminder that I do deserve better. I need to remember that if it's meant to be it will be. In the meantime, I need to keep myself busy and make sure that I don't lose myself because of this man. Thanks again. God Bless!
VenusScorp--You're right, I should forget him. It's going to take time. I think that dating others will eventually help me get over the sting of not knowing/understanding what goes on in this Cancer mans' head.
The next minute. I haven't seen him in almost a month and the communication has lessened. He questions if I still like him and where I've been on the weekends. He texts me to make sure I'm ok when there's bad weather. I don't know what to make of it. I don't want to like him, but I can't control what my heart tells me. When we are together things are amazing, we laugh, play, always have a great time, it's the time apart that seems to be hurting us.
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