Twinvirgo joined January 04, 2008
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Hey DearDiary,
I'm new to this cappy thing so I'm not speaking for them, but for you. I can feel your pain in your post.
I would say, give him the blanket support of saying I love you, and let him work it out. Sounds like you've said what's on your mind, so maybe just say "I love you babe and I'm here when you want to talk." Then just have faith. Have faith in the love shared between you and that it will all work itself out. Give him the space he needs to get back on his horse, so to speak. Sometimes that's a private thing that no one else can help you do.
In the meantime, you take care of you. You are going through just as many life changes as he is. Make sure you are secure on your own horse, stand tall, and wait for him to catch up.
The main thing is to love yourself and have absolute faith that everything will work out. I've come to learn in my most painful times, some of which is right now, that TIME is the great healer, balancer and bringer of solutions.
hold tight
Peace
Twinvirgo
I'm new to this cappy thing so I'm not speaking for them, but for you. I can feel your pain in your post.
I would say, give him the blanket support of saying I love you, and let him work it out. Sounds like you've said what's on your mind, so maybe just say "I love you babe and I'm here when you want to talk." Then just have faith. Have faith in the love shared between you and that it will all work itself out. Give him the space he needs to get back on his horse, so to speak. Sometimes that's a private thing that no one else can help you do.
In the meantime, you take care of you. You are going through just as many life changes as he is. Make sure you are secure on your own horse, stand tall, and wait for him to catch up.
The main thing is to love yourself and have absolute faith that everything will work out. I've come to learn in my most painful times, some of which is right now, that TIME is the great healer, balancer and bringer of solutions.
hold tight
Peace
Twinvirgo
okay, I see you are a cap. I'll PM you. Thanks
thank you AutumnC. Your post is exactly what I wanted to hear of course. but I think it makes me even more confused. Are you a cap?
"TwinVirgo listen to your heart it never lies...And make him step up to the plate, stand back don't do anything, if he wants you for anything other then friends make him responsible for it and earn it..Start out being straight up then you will see who your dealing with. He will either run or get with the program"
This is excellent advice. except for the being straight up part, that makes me feel extremely vunerable to even think it.
I think if I did, he'd run. flat out.
So that should tell me something right there.
This is excellent advice. except for the being straight up part, that makes me feel extremely vunerable to even think it.
I think if I did, he'd run. flat out.
So that should tell me something right there.
Gosh it's good to have some opinons on this.
He is 25, and I'm 10 years older. Very mature which is why this is so upsetting to me. I think my age is what's making me so completely insecure about this. I dont DO this type of thing, mooning over ANY guy for that matter, and especially someone from work. We are exact opposites, hence the no attraction in the beginnig. He's not even my type. But what I can't ignore is simply that it is, that it developed out of nowhere, and how I feel when I'm around him.
I should add that when he asked me about these women, it wasn't in general, he was very forthcoming and detailed. How he met them, time they've spent together(met them both very recently), and which one he should choose. Seems like he was very direct in asking one of them out for coffee, and he's just met her. So I think if he wanted something from me, he would just ask. Like let's go to a movie or whatever. I was so furious that I didnt look directly at him when I was giving him the advice but the one time I did, he was looking deeply in my eyes, like trying to really figure me out.
Capricorn31, loved your post for the cap p.o.v- I guess I would ask you- Do you think cappy males like to mess or play games with women. I mean what if he senses I'm attracted to him, has decided he's too traditional to try a relationship, and is now just messing with me. Using me for companionship, and advice about women.
Things are delicate now. I can't just tell him how I feel, because if he doesnt feel the same, he'll be all embarrassed and avoid me, then I'll feel like an idiot. Yet if I dont say anything, he'll be telling me all about these women and I'll feel disrespected.
Thanks MsPices and Moro192000- I should also add when getting to know each other in the beginning we are both very conservative about sex. We'd probably be friends and date for a long time before I'd have to worry about that.
He is 25, and I'm 10 years older. Very mature which is why this is so upsetting to me. I think my age is what's making me so completely insecure about this. I dont DO this type of thing, mooning over ANY guy for that matter, and especially someone from work. We are exact opposites, hence the no attraction in the beginnig. He's not even my type. But what I can't ignore is simply that it is, that it developed out of nowhere, and how I feel when I'm around him.
I should add that when he asked me about these women, it wasn't in general, he was very forthcoming and detailed. How he met them, time they've spent together(met them both very recently), and which one he should choose. Seems like he was very direct in asking one of them out for coffee, and he's just met her. So I think if he wanted something from me, he would just ask. Like let's go to a movie or whatever. I was so furious that I didnt look directly at him when I was giving him the advice but the one time I did, he was looking deeply in my eyes, like trying to really figure me out.
Capricorn31, loved your post for the cap p.o.v- I guess I would ask you- Do you think cappy males like to mess or play games with women. I mean what if he senses I'm attracted to him, has decided he's too traditional to try a relationship, and is now just messing with me. Using me for companionship, and advice about women.
Things are delicate now. I can't just tell him how I feel, because if he doesnt feel the same, he'll be all embarrassed and avoid me, then I'll feel like an idiot. Yet if I dont say anything, he'll be telling me all about these women and I'll feel disrespected.
Thanks MsPices and Moro192000- I should also add when getting to know each other in the beginning we are both very conservative about sex. We'd probably be friends and date for a long time before I'd have to worry about that.
But I didn't. I was calm and cool and gave him the advice he sought. but I was hurt and thinking, what am I chopped liver? If he doesn't like me like that, WHY does he keep making contact with me?! Is he using me for something? I can't benefit his career in any way. I can't figure this out. Now I want to avoid him like the plague, but that would be obvious, plus I enjoy his company.
This sounds kinda pitiful I know, but what do you think is going on here?
This sounds kinda pitiful I know, but what do you think is going on here?
I'm jumping out of lurk mode for some advice. I have a situation with a Cappy, I'm hoping you all can just be blunt and clairify what you think is happening here so I can stop pulling my hair out.
I'll try to make it short.
We work together, and had no initial attraction. (at least no on my part). After going on group lunches for 6 months, we've become friendly. Then most of our coworkers were laid off so now it's just us. Around 4 months ago, the vibe began to change. He started coming to my office every morning to say hello, and asked me to lunch about twice a week. Made me notice him. Started dressing nicer, being a total gentlemen, treating me like a queen. Well, you all know...he turned on the capricorn charm, and suddenly, I fell for him.
shoot. I hate crushes.
The chips are stacked against this too. We are different races, I'm a gemini- he's cap, I'm a single mom, we work together, and I'm older. Alot older. I thought once he found out my age, he'd back off. He did for a week, but that's it.
What I can't figure out is, does he like me or not?
The vibe now is highly charged with attraction, yet he never lets on, and neither do I. We just laugh and joke as usual. I flirt with him, of course cause I'm a gem and we have to flirt. I can tell he loves it, but is very cautious about flirting back. I dont want to look like a fool and throw my cards on the table, so I'm sure my actions may be confusing to him too. I rarely go to his office, I let him come to me.
He has never asked me out outside of work, never asked for my phone number, never commented on my appearance, all though he stares plenty.
I always ask him about girlfriends, tease him about all the girls who like him, but he's a reserved guy. Is very single, but always looking.
Here's the deal. I hate that I'm crushing on him. I want to know how he feels so I can feel better or get over it. What do you think his actions mean?
He listens to everything I say and does little things to please me. He comes to visit me in my office at least twice a day. He comes to see if I want to join him for lunch at least once a week. Each lunch seems like a date- kinda formal, very polite, very gentlemanly, talks about subjects I'm interested in.
This last lunch though, he asked my advice about two girls he's interested in. That's a first! and I was so mad I wanted to throw my plate at him.
(to be continued)
I'll try to make it short.
We work together, and had no initial attraction. (at least no on my part). After going on group lunches for 6 months, we've become friendly. Then most of our coworkers were laid off so now it's just us. Around 4 months ago, the vibe began to change. He started coming to my office every morning to say hello, and asked me to lunch about twice a week. Made me notice him. Started dressing nicer, being a total gentlemen, treating me like a queen. Well, you all know...he turned on the capricorn charm, and suddenly, I fell for him.
shoot. I hate crushes.
The chips are stacked against this too. We are different races, I'm a gemini- he's cap, I'm a single mom, we work together, and I'm older. Alot older. I thought once he found out my age, he'd back off. He did for a week, but that's it.
What I can't figure out is, does he like me or not?
The vibe now is highly charged with attraction, yet he never lets on, and neither do I. We just laugh and joke as usual. I flirt with him, of course cause I'm a gem and we have to flirt. I can tell he loves it, but is very cautious about flirting back. I dont want to look like a fool and throw my cards on the table, so I'm sure my actions may be confusing to him too. I rarely go to his office, I let him come to me.
He has never asked me out outside of work, never asked for my phone number, never commented on my appearance, all though he stares plenty.
I always ask him about girlfriends, tease him about all the girls who like him, but he's a reserved guy. Is very single, but always looking.
Here's the deal. I hate that I'm crushing on him. I want to know how he feels so I can feel better or get over it. What do you think his actions mean?
He listens to everything I say and does little things to please me. He comes to visit me in my office at least twice a day. He comes to see if I want to join him for lunch at least once a week. Each lunch seems like a date- kinda formal, very polite, very gentlemanly, talks about subjects I'm interested in.
This last lunch though, he asked my advice about two girls he's interested in. That's a first! and I was so mad I wanted to throw my plate at him.
(to be continued)
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Capricorn
I'm jumping out of lurk mode for some advice. I have a situation with a Cappy, I'm hoping you all can just be blunt and
@Twinvirgo
Joined: Jan 04, 2008 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 7