Expression of Grief
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by aquasnoz on Saturday, September 21, 2013 and has 19 replies.
My sag friend pointed out to me that I'm incapable of showing sadness and grief or even expressing it verbally and she so cleverly noticed the second I start to I'd be overwhelmed by it all.
She's been on my back because she knows my mum has very limited time left, she's worried that I'm not exhibiting any signs of fear or sadness or grief that I might be bottling it all inside. Sometimes I wonder if this is the most typical trait an Aqua can have... I'll admit I'm a devastated on the inside, there's not a night that goes by where I don't think about it but I also don't want others to feel what I'm feeling because it's that bad so I contain it.
Situations like this I feel like there's no sense in sharing because no matter how you dice it the conclusion is the same, it's set in stone and there's nothing I can do to change it. Even if I wanted to take a break and just grief for a while there's just no time when others are depending on me. Last thing I'd want to do is get my mum worried over the fact that I'm worried if it makes sense. Logically and emotionally speaking it would be better for everyone if I don't break down until all is sorted.
I don't know if Aquas in general deal with situations like this the same way as I do but for every crisis situation I've ever had I've somehow managed to detach that emotional part of me that gets too invested but only when it's damaging to my mental health like this.
My sag friend remarked if she didn't know me she'd label me heartless but for the life of me I dare not share my emotions because it has a way of magnifying itself when I try to express them so I never do when it's negative.
Starting to acknowledge it all seems to make me feel a bit lonely, though I don't think it's anything I'd change but more so a matter of fact I can't change this part of me kinda way. If there's anyone that could relate that'll be super awesome.
So what are some of your weird Aquarius emotional blocks?
She's been on my back because she knows my mum has very limited time left, she's worried that I'm not exhibiting any signs of fear or sadness or grief that I might be bottling it all inside. Sometimes I wonder if this is the most typical trait an Aqua can have... I'll admit I'm a devastated on the inside, there's not a night that goes by where I don't think about it but I also don't want others to feel what I'm feeling because it's that bad so I contain it.
Situations like this I feel like there's no sense in sharing because no matter how you dice it the conclusion is the same, it's set in stone and there's nothing I can do to change it. Even if I wanted to take a break and just grief for a while there's just no time when others are depending on me. Last thing I'd want to do is get my mum worried over the fact that I'm worried if it makes sense. Logically and emotionally speaking it would be better for everyone if I don't break down until all is sorted.
I don't know if Aquas in general deal with situations like this the same way as I do but for every crisis situation I've ever had I've somehow managed to detach that emotional part of me that gets too invested but only when it's damaging to my mental health like this.
My sag friend remarked if she didn't know me she'd label me heartless but for the life of me I dare not share my emotions because it has a way of magnifying itself when I try to express them so I never do when it's negative.
Starting to acknowledge it all seems to make me feel a bit lonely, though I don't think it's anything I'd change but more so a matter of fact I can't change this part of me kinda way. If there's anyone that could relate that'll be super awesome.
So what are some of your weird Aquarius emotional blocks?
Well im no Aqua, but last night I seen the most emotions out of one that ive seen ever.
Didnt crack a tear about our break up until I was walking out the door!
I think its best to let it out now, you dont want to have any regrets!
Didnt crack a tear about our break up until I was walking out the door!
I think its best to let it out now, you dont want to have any regrets!
*hugs*
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Nope! this a YOU issue, not an aqua issue. Though I have seen a lot of Aquas use this excuse in an effort to act superior and above others as if they aren't weak. Yeahhhh, there's a certain amount of "unemotional" behavior we exhibit to others and ourselves but there is a threshold we all have. Once reached, the emotions begin to show.
I realllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy cant stand how stupid fucking astrologists lable aqua as "unemotional" because most of the aquas I know are far from it. Really, its just astrologers being too lazy to figure us out. I do know one girl who is constantly trying to hide her emotions from guys, because she just cannot be vulnerable to them....which is WEAK SAUCE!
I'm secretive about my feelings at times, as not to disturb others. But in no way am I unemotional or unfeeling.
I realllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy cant stand how stupid fucking astrologists lable aqua as "unemotional" because most of the aquas I know are far from it. Really, its just astrologers being too lazy to figure us out. I do know one girl who is constantly trying to hide her emotions from guys, because she just cannot be vulnerable to them....which is WEAK SAUCE!
I'm secretive about my feelings at times, as not to disturb others. But in no way am I unemotional or unfeeling.
When my ex died.... I cried for months straight. I was in deep mourning and literally had zero desire to live. I felt his presence, always. And even still I cry at times, in public... its difficult. But it does get better you just need to let it unravel and honor the people you love and lost, or are losing by showing them how you feel for them! Put yourself in their shoes... if you were dying and they went cold on you, how would that sum up your life with them?
Also, I would say what you need to say. Don't waste a second, because once they are gone you can never get the opportunity again 
it leaves undone business that you will wish you could finish.
it leaves undone business that you will wish you could finish.
This about us Aquas is 1 of our biggest strengths & biggest weaknesses
Every situation needs a cool-headed "non-crier" when things get crazy
Then again, as humans, we are not designed to keep all that grief, anger, sadness & raging emotions in but for so long
Our problem is that we are so strong when we are holding them in & we continue to do so once we get the acknowledgement from others that we are so strong. We love being told that we are strong!
Problem is, after too long, people stop believing that we are necessarily strong, & start thinking that what they only "thought" was strength is actually just weakness & bottled up emotions in disguise. People start to get annoyed that we're trying to be superman/woman when they know that we are just as human as they are.
It's def. not healthy to explode & allow our emotions to consume us to the point that we impulsively react to every single emotion we're experiencing.
BUT it's also just as unhealthy for us to hold everything in b/c doing so means we're running from the problem, & therefore prolonging the healing!
So yes we do cry in the dark. We do not grieve in the way others do or "want" us to. I've been told before that it's odd how I can be the only dry-eye during a funeral. True, but little do they know, I'm an emotional wreck & fall apart when I get home lol
And b/c we are like this, we make it harder for others to comfort us & show that they relate & that we are not just alone. But b/c we are so obsessed with appearing to be strong, we fool ourselves into believing that others aren't being there for us b/c they don't care, which just leads to a deeper depression.
But the truth though is really that we put up a shield that's too high to let anyone in.
We as Aquas have to do better! Crying or showing emotion doesn't always mean weakness. Admitting that you're human & that your emotions work like everybody else with a pulse, is truly what having strength means!
Every situation needs a cool-headed "non-crier" when things get crazy
Then again, as humans, we are not designed to keep all that grief, anger, sadness & raging emotions in but for so long
Our problem is that we are so strong when we are holding them in & we continue to do so once we get the acknowledgement from others that we are so strong. We love being told that we are strong!
Problem is, after too long, people stop believing that we are necessarily strong, & start thinking that what they only "thought" was strength is actually just weakness & bottled up emotions in disguise. People start to get annoyed that we're trying to be superman/woman when they know that we are just as human as they are.
It's def. not healthy to explode & allow our emotions to consume us to the point that we impulsively react to every single emotion we're experiencing.
BUT it's also just as unhealthy for us to hold everything in b/c doing so means we're running from the problem, & therefore prolonging the healing!
So yes we do cry in the dark. We do not grieve in the way others do or "want" us to. I've been told before that it's odd how I can be the only dry-eye during a funeral. True, but little do they know, I'm an emotional wreck & fall apart when I get home lol
And b/c we are like this, we make it harder for others to comfort us & show that they relate & that we are not just alone. But b/c we are so obsessed with appearing to be strong, we fool ourselves into believing that others aren't being there for us b/c they don't care, which just leads to a deeper depression.
But the truth though is really that we put up a shield that's too high to let anyone in.
We as Aquas have to do better! Crying or showing emotion doesn't always mean weakness. Admitting that you're human & that your emotions work like everybody else with a pulse, is truly what having strength means!
With that being said, welcome to the wonderful world of Aquarians lol
We're always trying to defy the odds & think/do outside of the box!
That about us is great for awhile until we self-destruct later on down the road lmao
I've seen Aquas go from the most cool-headed person in the room to the most craziest raging MF on earth! lol We don't understand "balance" as much as we should which is why our emotions go from 1 extreme to the other!
There's never just that "middle," balance for us lol smh
We're always trying to defy the odds & think/do outside of the box!
That about us is great for awhile until we self-destruct later on down the road lmao
I've seen Aquas go from the most cool-headed person in the room to the most craziest raging MF on earth! lol We don't understand "balance" as much as we should which is why our emotions go from 1 extreme to the other!
There's never just that "middle," balance for us lol smh
Posted by krysrenee7
So yes we do cry in the dark.
mhm
As a Pisces I am the opposite. My Spanish background makes me twice as emotional. I always get hurt by people no matter what, it could be the smallest thing ... it could take me days to recover from something mean a friend said to me.
My entire family is leo. Talk about Drama! Over the past 10 years ive surrounded myself with Aquas and have seen how deeply they feel and I am not bothered in the least about how much feeling they do or dont display i think Aquas deal with emotion in a healthy way. I find it quite unhealthy to get so upset, to get sooo sad so often. To me emotions mean disquiet because i tend to dwell on them. Not because i cant or can let them out.
It took me a while to see just how much Aquas truly love and feel. I think they ARE emotional. They just know how to temper their thoughts. A little crying is good. Beyond that, forget it. Its plain bad for your immune system. It has NOTHING to do with showing weakness. I want to stop feeling so apologetic for my emotional nature. I so often have to keep myself cool when im just devastated inside. It doesnt feel good. So if you hardly ever cry then crying a river may do you some good. It IS a balance. Best thing to do is not challenge your feelings whatever they may be.
Sometimes when i feel like crying and its a real bad time i allow myself the right to cry and then the need to cry stops before it begins, like magic. I ponder this phenomena. It takes just a moment to step back and give myself room. Crying is a claustrophobic emotion for me.
Not showing emotion is not a sign that you dont care it just means you are conservative with superfluous gesture. Conservation is wise.
My entire family is leo. Talk about Drama! Over the past 10 years ive surrounded myself with Aquas and have seen how deeply they feel and I am not bothered in the least about how much feeling they do or dont display i think Aquas deal with emotion in a healthy way. I find it quite unhealthy to get so upset, to get sooo sad so often. To me emotions mean disquiet because i tend to dwell on them. Not because i cant or can let them out.
It took me a while to see just how much Aquas truly love and feel. I think they ARE emotional. They just know how to temper their thoughts. A little crying is good. Beyond that, forget it. Its plain bad for your immune system. It has NOTHING to do with showing weakness. I want to stop feeling so apologetic for my emotional nature. I so often have to keep myself cool when im just devastated inside. It doesnt feel good. So if you hardly ever cry then crying a river may do you some good. It IS a balance. Best thing to do is not challenge your feelings whatever they may be.
Sometimes when i feel like crying and its a real bad time i allow myself the right to cry and then the need to cry stops before it begins, like magic. I ponder this phenomena. It takes just a moment to step back and give myself room. Crying is a claustrophobic emotion for me.
Not showing emotion is not a sign that you dont care it just means you are conservative with superfluous gesture. Conservation is wise.
Hugs back lisabeth!
I think worrying is perfectly normal, at least most of it was working through it all last year so I did grief for a while just not having time to stop and be stagnant for a while is what is apparently worrying other people because apparently it seems to them I've just brushed this all aside.
And haha yes I did cry in the dark! I mean this behaviour is only limited to really intense feelings and morbid subjects like death or something that disrupts my own inner balance. I'm comfortable with expressing emotions, just not to this magnitude where I THINK it may affect others. I could be wrong but what I'd tell my sag friend would remain the same as what we talked about a year ago.
@tw1nk1e: My Saturn's in Scorpio 2nd trine venus and mars in pisces 5th and square moon pisces 5th. I don't know if it's out of necessity that I detach from an emotional outburst because I can calm down after a while but if someone asks me again it just seems all the feels in the world suddenly runs me over. If you were to ask me about a puppy that I lost when I was a kid, once I start talking about it I'd probably be in tears by the end it just seems the emotional aspect of anything never really escapes me. Not sure if it's a watery thing or not or whether it is in fact the pisces sponge.
On that note: I do have a cap merc and libra rising as well, these placements don't scream out I want to share emotions I don't think.
@Krys: Yeah definitely get what you mean about strength/weakness. I still really can't find that balance. I do think about whether I'm running away from it atm and perhaps I am in a way because the end hasn't come yet... maybe later on down the track but I feel patching things up with my mum right now is far more productive than feeling sorry for myself or my mum. When it happens it might just be what you refer to as the crazy mofo moment
@Cyan: Do you feel sometimes it's pointless in sharing? I mean emotions are part of being human but when prompted to talk about it do you feel like it's a waste of time? I'm trying to decipher whether this is a pisces trait or aqua or to an extent the cap merc. I wouldn't think Aquas would have a problem talking through things but I've known pisces to very rarely address some heavy hitting issues (such as my dad).
I think worrying is perfectly normal, at least most of it was working through it all last year so I did grief for a while just not having time to stop and be stagnant for a while is what is apparently worrying other people because apparently it seems to them I've just brushed this all aside.
And haha yes I did cry in the dark! I mean this behaviour is only limited to really intense feelings and morbid subjects like death or something that disrupts my own inner balance. I'm comfortable with expressing emotions, just not to this magnitude where I THINK it may affect others. I could be wrong but what I'd tell my sag friend would remain the same as what we talked about a year ago.
@tw1nk1e: My Saturn's in Scorpio 2nd trine venus and mars in pisces 5th and square moon pisces 5th. I don't know if it's out of necessity that I detach from an emotional outburst because I can calm down after a while but if someone asks me again it just seems all the feels in the world suddenly runs me over. If you were to ask me about a puppy that I lost when I was a kid, once I start talking about it I'd probably be in tears by the end it just seems the emotional aspect of anything never really escapes me. Not sure if it's a watery thing or not or whether it is in fact the pisces sponge.
On that note: I do have a cap merc and libra rising as well, these placements don't scream out I want to share emotions I don't think.
@Krys: Yeah definitely get what you mean about strength/weakness. I still really can't find that balance. I do think about whether I'm running away from it atm and perhaps I am in a way because the end hasn't come yet... maybe later on down the track but I feel patching things up with my mum right now is far more productive than feeling sorry for myself or my mum. When it happens it might just be what you refer to as the crazy mofo moment
@Cyan: Do you feel sometimes it's pointless in sharing? I mean emotions are part of being human but when prompted to talk about it do you feel like it's a waste of time? I'm trying to decipher whether this is a pisces trait or aqua or to an extent the cap merc. I wouldn't think Aquas would have a problem talking through things but I've known pisces to very rarely address some heavy hitting issues (such as my dad).
I must have struck a chord with him bc I was the only one he didnt respond to. mhm.
huh? nah, some posts I just really don't know what to reply with tbh sorry but I didn't take it wrongly or anything.
Taking it all in as they say.
I think I'd be kidding myself if I were to back the idea Aquas are emotional because we are rather emotional creatures I'm sure we all know that. Much like expressing love, I definitely have no problem with that. I just dislike spreading negativity.
Taking it all in as they say.
I think I'd be kidding myself if I were to back the idea Aquas are emotional because we are rather emotional creatures I'm sure we all know that. Much like expressing love, I definitely have no problem with that. I just dislike spreading negativity.
oops I meant I'd be kidding if I were to back that we're unemotional
To save you from worrying though chrissy I do actually live by the no regrets philosophy. Without that I never would've seek out my mum so there are good and bad that spawned from it afterwards but rest assured whatever we can address now we have.
I can't deny I want to feel selfish about it but it's not my life on the line, I'm in no way being cold or distant to her it's actually quite the opposite at the moment but there's ways to come yet.
I do actually live by the no regrets philosophy. Without that I never would've seek out my mum so there are good and bad that spawned from it afterwards but rest assured whatever we can address now we have.I can't deny I want to feel selfish about it but it's not my life on the line, I'm in no way being cold or distant to her it's actually quite the opposite at the moment but there's ways to come yet.
Sometimes when something really bad happens im not able to talk about it at all for a month or years. on the other hand,when i feel that something heavy is pointless in sharing its because the pain is so deep that its better expressed in other ways or repressed. Talking it through may just sound trite. I have talked though many things but it doesnt alleviate pain. True understanding alleviates pain and im not sure I arrive at understanding so quickly. I dont know if Pisces are gluttons for pain. And February is a heavy month. The Feb. Pisces i know are troubled and gloomy. But we are masters of disguise. We can even act tough but you can see right through that.
Ive become an emotional coward. Im a bit afraid of the power of my emotions so to me not having overt emotions is healthy. Aquas are minimal with emotions, I think it helps your mom greatly that you are collected. Emotions fuel things that dont need to be fueled. Sometimes i think most emotions are a waist of time better spent elsewhere.
Ive become an emotional coward. Im a bit afraid of the power of my emotions so to me not having overt emotions is healthy. Aquas are minimal with emotions, I think it helps your mom greatly that you are collected. Emotions fuel things that dont need to be fueled. Sometimes i think most emotions are a waist of time better spent elsewhere.
I don't think it's solely an aqua trait. Us caps get accused of this all the time. My son tells me the only emotions I show are anger and irritation. Of course, that goes with living with a teenager. lol!
But really, I think all us winter signs have this "non-emotional" trait. For example: sad movie? If I see it by myself, I will bawl like a baby. See the same movie in a theater full of people, I can't do it. Same with funerals, etc. I will fall apart alone, but I can't seem to be able to in front of anyone. Occasionally, I might, and that is with very, very special people who I trust dearly.
Just tell the Sag you feel the emotion, but prefer to deal with it privately.
But really, I think all us winter signs have this "non-emotional" trait. For example: sad movie? If I see it by myself, I will bawl like a baby. See the same movie in a theater full of people, I can't do it. Same with funerals, etc. I will fall apart alone, but I can't seem to be able to in front of anyone. Occasionally, I might, and that is with very, very special people who I trust dearly.
Just tell the Sag you feel the emotion, but prefer to deal with it privately.
Oh, sorry about your mom and hope she gets better, aquasnoz. It's tough to see our parents in that situation.
When someone else is devastated in front of me, something in me makes me suck it up & hold in my emotions. Almost like I'm trying to be strong for them
Even if I'm close to tears, the minute someone else breaks down, my ability cry suddenly goes away & will only return once things have either calmed down & I've had the chance to process everything OR once I'm alone lol
It's weird. I've actually caught myself though in the moment trying to grieve with others in the moment, & I just can't lol
I tried smh
Even if I'm close to tears, the minute someone else breaks down, my ability cry suddenly goes away & will only return once things have either calmed down & I've had the chance to process everything OR once I'm alone lol
It's weird. I've actually caught myself though in the moment trying to grieve with others in the moment, & I just can't lol
I tried smh
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