First tiff after commitment,will you people leave?

Posted by AquaNextDoor
for the next time: never ever tell a man to do things you obviously don't want him to do. speak up if something bothers you and then it's up to him to live up to your demands.
jezz.... never ever tell a man "go on, just go out with that bitch ect ect ect" of course its obvious to him that you don't want him to do that, but don't play that kinda games.

Posted by AquaMermaid
That's weird because I've faced this with my two Scorpios. May be we aren't too different. They tried the same thing with me, they mentioned other girls to get a reaction out of me. It's like a test to see whether you get jealous, if you show jealousy it means you're serious about them. It used to annoy me a LOT because I'm extremely possessive of my partner(Scorp dominant). I would express my frustration openly and they would just smirk. I think your Aqua was trying to test you and you offended him by suggesting that he date other girls and keep his options open. He saw that as you being uninvolved and not serious about the relationship. That is why he taunted you about your male friend and is acting cold towards you. Yes, you messed up big time and you need to do the damage control. Explain to him that you were only joking and want to be exclusive with him, that means you both are NOT suppose to have Plan A and Plan B. It's a freaking relationship not a business deal.

Posted by Ilovemyaqua
So this aquarius and I have recently got committed, although we've not worded it.We've been having an amazing time together and he's being really sweet and romantic.However, today,I wanted to meet him but he had some work,so we were talking over the phone when he tried to make me feel jealous of this other girl,I laughed it off.Meanwhile, I casually mentioned that meeting up is a part and parcel of newly getting committed, the excitement fades gradually,he said it wasn't so,that he's always the same,citing an example of a previous relationship .I said you're always free to go wherever you want,go with her maybe,she still likes you,have some fun,he said he won't and I was like no it's okay,just go.I don't know,maybe he got offended? His tone became grim.I said are we meeting? he was like,you may go around with someone else maybe(insert name of this guy in my class who likes me and I talk to) he said,everyone should have a plan b.I was like my plan a was more exciting though.I said okay,we'll go with our plan b but oh maybe you should go with plan a because I was plan b.We then hung up.I called him an hour later to lighten things up.He was sleepy and then said don't be serious about me,enjoy life,and I was like,dude chill,what happened? mood swings? And he was like you know how I am right? According to you I may go back to my ex,I may change my mind about you you said.I was like I'm sorry it was just a joke,but he sounded serious.I tried babying him,making things light,talked about random cute stuff,and I asked if we can meet tomorrow and he was like,we'll meet if we'll have to,and he has my book which he has to return and he said he'll give it to me in cllg although he always preferred to give it to me in person.I also asked if I could call him in the night and he said no.*sigh* I like him so much and I know he does too but maybe I screwed up? What should I do?

Posted by AquaNextDoor
for the next time: never ever tell a man to do things you obviously don't want him to do. speak up if something bothers you and then it's up to him to live up to your demands.
jezz.... never ever tell a man "go on, just go out with that bitch ect ect ect" of course its obvious to him that you don't want him to do that, but don't play that kinda games.

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by AquaNextDoor
for the next time: never ever tell a man to do things you obviously don't want him to do. speak up if something bothers you and then it's up to him to live up to your demands.
jezz.... never ever tell a man "go on, just go out with that bitch ect ect ect" of course its obvious to him that you don't want him to do that, but don't play that kinda games.

Well,I've always told him he's free to leave,although obviously I don't want him to,but I just want him to know he's not bound because I strongly believe one should be in a relationship if one feels like,not because one has to.In this convo,he did bring up the name of a girl who likes him to tease me,I laughed it off.Then,when I told him to go back to his ex,I was teasing him,you know,the obvious tease when both of you know one of you doesn't actually mean what she says? Besides,he (God knows why) gets insecure with my male friends, he thinks I'm not sure about him,he teases me at times with their name,I know he's teasing, I know he doesn't mean what he says,same happened here,I obviously don't want him to go back to his ex.and I believe it's always better to shrug things off in humour than talking about it seriously.perhaps it didn't work this time? And worded,well,it's like,he has told me how much he likes me,in every way,as a human as a girlfriend, I on the other hand have let my actions do the talking.

click to expand

Posted by AquaMermaid
@ Tinxy, I have a good idea about Scorpio tests. The game is always ON and judging never stops, it becomes subtle with time though.I'm an Aquarius with a Scorpio dominant chart as well. I am guilty of testing people and if they fail, I become an ice queen. I guess your Aquarius is also the same. But asking questions is an Aquarius trait, we are curious creatures.

Posted by truecap

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by AquaNextDoor
for the next time: never ever tell a man to do things you obviously don't want him to do. speak up if something bothers you and then it's up to him to live up to your demands.
jezz.... never ever tell a man "go on, just go out with that bitch ect ect ect" of course its obvious to him that you don't want him to do that, but don't play that kinda games.

Well,I've always told him he's free to leave,although obviously I don't want him to,but I just want him to know he's not bound because I strongly believe one should be in a relationship if one feels like,not because one has to.In this convo,he did bring up the name of a girl who likes him to tease me,I laughed it off.Then,when I told him to go back to his ex,I was teasing him,you know,the obvious tease when both of you know one of you doesn't actually mean what she says? Besides,he (God knows why) gets insecure with my male friends, he thinks I'm not sure about him,he teases me at times with their name,I know he's teasing, I know he doesn't mean what he says,same happened here,I obviously don't want him to go back to his ex.and I believe it's always better to shrug things off in humour than talking about it seriously.perhaps it didn't work this time? And worded,well,it's like,he has told me how much he likes me,in every way,as a human as a girlfriend, I on the other hand have let my actions do the talking.

so you always tell him he's free to leave --- that's like saying you don't have confidence in the success of your relationship.

click to expand

Posted by Tinxy
Why the hell would you tell him to go out with another girl , if you knew he was joking ?

Why would you say that you would go out with plan b guy if you knew he was joking ?!?!

This is really stupid behaviour lol

Aquas/men don't like provocative women who do shit like that ... End of

If he's not bound to you then you don't need to say it actions speak louder than words ....

Probably pissed him right off

Posted by AquaMermaid
That's weird because I've faced this with my two Scorpios. May be we aren't too different. They tried the same thing with me, they mentioned other girls to get a reaction out of me. It's like a test to see whether you get jealous, if you show jealousy it means you're serious about them. It used to annoy me a LOT because I'm extremely possessive of my partner(Scorp dominant). I would express my frustration openly and they would just smirk. I think your Aqua was trying to test you and you offended him by suggesting that he date other girls and keep his options open. He saw that as you being uninvolved and not serious about the relationship. That is why he taunted you about your male friend and is acting cold towards you. Yes, you messed up big time and you need to do the damage control. Explain to him that you were only joking and want to be exclusive with him, that means you both are NOT suppose to have Plan A and Plan B. It's a freaking relationship not a business deal.

Posted by truecap

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by AquaNextDoor
for the next time: never ever tell a man to do things you obviously don't want him to do. speak up if something bothers you and then it's up to him to live up to your demands.
jezz.... never ever tell a man "go on, just go out with that bitch ect ect ect" of course its obvious to him that you don't want him to do that, but don't play that kinda games.

Well,I've always told him he's free to leave,although obviously I don't want him to,but I just want him to know he's not bound because I strongly believe one should be in a relationship if one feels like,not because one has to.In this convo,he did bring up the name of a girl who likes him to tease me,I laughed it off.Then,when I told him to go back to his ex,I was teasing him,you know,the obvious tease when both of you know one of you doesn't actually mean what she says? Besides,he (God knows why) gets insecure with my male friends, he thinks I'm not sure about him,he teases me at times with their name,I know he's teasing, I know he doesn't mean what he says,same happened here,I obviously don't want him to go back to his ex.and I believe it's always better to shrug things off in humour than talking about it seriously.perhaps it didn't work this time? And worded,well,it's like,he has told me how much he likes me,in every way,as a human as a girlfriend, I on the other hand have let my actions do the talking.

so you always tell him he's free to leave --- that's like saying you don't have confidence in the success of your relationship.

click to expand

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by Tinxy
Why the hell would you tell him to go out with another girl , if you knew he was joking ?

Why would you say that you would go out with plan b guy if you knew he was joking ?!?!

This is really stupid behaviour lol

Aquas/men don't like provocative women who do shit like that ... End of

If he's not bound to you then you don't need to say it actions speak louder than words ....

Probably pissed him right off

Well,he was teasing me,I thought it was better not to get serious and hence I said,cool,go with her.I didn't want to get mad at him,I thought it was the best solution.He said I should go for plan b,that he said grimly,at that time,instead of thinking he's trying to tell me to go with plan b,all I thought was he's not going with me.Later though when I thought about it,I realised what he meant.In my second call I did say what if I didn't have a plan b? What if all my plans had him? To which he replied I shouldn't be serious about him and have fun.hey,You too are a Taurus right?

click to expand

Posted by Tinxy

Posted by AquaMermaid
That's weird because I've faced this with my two Scorpios. May be we aren't too different. They tried the same thing with me, they mentioned other girls to get a reaction out of me. It's like a test to see whether you get jealous, if you show jealousy it means you're serious about them. It used to annoy me a LOT because I'm extremely possessive of my partner(Scorp dominant). I would express my frustration openly and they would just smirk. I think your Aqua was trying to test you and you offended him by suggesting that he date other girls and keep his options open. He saw that as you being uninvolved and not serious about the relationship. That is why he taunted you about your male friend and is acting cold towards you. Yes, you messed up big time and you need to do the damage control. Explain to him that you were only joking and want to be exclusive with him, that means you both are NOT suppose to have Plan A and Plan B. It's a freaking relationship not a business deal.

I really thought it was just scorps who did the whole test thing

Aquas with scorp placement people are like proper mental on the testing front , it's taken me a LONG time to realise this every other thing he asks is like a big exam lol

He asked me a thousand questions the other day it wasn't even a conversation it was like I was a contestant on a game show at least 50 questions I actually got bored but kept answering lol

click to expand

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by truecap

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by AquaNextDoor
for the next time: never ever tell a man to do things you obviously don't want him to do. speak up if something bothers you and then it's up to him to live up to your demands.
jezz.... never ever tell a man "go on, just go out with that bitch ect ect ect" of course its obvious to him that you don't want him to do that, but don't play that kinda games.

Well,I've always told him he's free to leave,although obviously I don't want him to,but I just want him to know he's not bound because I strongly believe one should be in a relationship if one feels like,not because one has to.In this convo,he did bring up the name of a girl who likes him to tease me,I laughed it off.Then,when I told him to go back to his ex,I was teasing him,you know,the obvious tease when both of you know one of you doesn't actually mean what she says? Besides,he (God knows why) gets insecure with my male friends, he thinks I'm not sure about him,he teases me at times with their name,I know he's teasing, I know he doesn't mean what he says,same happened here,I obviously don't want him to go back to his ex.and I believe it's always better to shrug things off in humour than talking about it seriously.perhaps it didn't work this time? And worded,well,it's like,he has told me how much he likes me,in every way,as a human as a girlfriend, I on the other hand have let my actions do the talking.

so you always tell him he's free to leave --- that's like saying you don't have confidence in the success of your relationship.

You know,2 yrs back, when we were not in a relationship, whenever he would try to make me jealous, I would react because of which he thought I was possessive and was taking away his independence.Now when I'm more laid back,he's perhaps thinking I'm not that into him.I'm so confused,how do I tell him I like him so much without him thinking I'm taking away his independence.Also,the other issue is his insecurity, I don't know why he thinks I'm not serious about him.He always thinks I'm out of his league and thus he's not my only option.He doubts me so much,I don't know why.He doesn't think much of himself,and I really want to tell him how special he is for me,but maybe if I do,he'll find me possessive and run away. I don't know what to do.

click to expand

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by Tinxy

Posted by AquaMermaid
That's weird because I've faced this with my two Scorpios. May be we aren't too different. They tried the same thing with me, they mentioned other girls to get a reaction out of me. It's like a test to see whether you get jealous, if you show jealousy it means you're serious about them. It used to annoy me a LOT because I'm extremely possessive of my partner(Scorp dominant). I would express my frustration openly and they would just smirk. I think your Aqua was trying to test you and you offended him by suggesting that he date other girls and keep his options open. He saw that as you being uninvolved and not serious about the relationship. That is why he taunted you about your male friend and is acting cold towards you. Yes, you messed up big time and you need to do the damage control. Explain to him that you were only joking and want to be exclusive with him, that means you both are NOT suppose to have Plan A and Plan B. It's a freaking relationship not a business deal.

I really thought it was just scorps who did the whole test thing

Aquas with scorp placement people are like proper mental on the testing front , it's taken me a LONG time to realise this every other thing he asks is like a big exam lol

He asked me a thousand questions the other day it wasn't even a conversation it was like I was a contestant on a game show at least 50 questions I actually got bored but kept answering lol

Me too,everything he asks is perhaps an exam

click to expand

Posted by truecap
He talks about other women? You don't respond. Don't play into his game.
If you do respond, tell him you hope he has bail money for when you beat her ass.

Posted by AquaMermaid
What's your sign OP? You seem to be giving mixed signals all over the place. What's up with that? Be confident of your feelings! Aquarius men are passive and they don't express their feelings directly. They appreciate a partner who is confident of the relationship yet independent. Keep a healthy balance between getting obsessive and giving him freedom. Don't act like you don't care who he dates or sleeps with. If you keep being this way, he'll ice you out.

Posted by AquaMermaid

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by AquaMermaid
What's your sign OP? You seem to be giving mixed signals all over the place. What's up with that? Be confident of your feelings! Aquarius men are passive and they don't express their feelings directly. They appreciate a partner who is confident of the relationship yet independent. Keep a healthy balance between getting obsessive and giving him freedom. Don't act like you don't care who he dates or sleeps with. If you keep being this way, he'll ice you out.

I'm Taurus Sun,29 deg and my Venus is in Gemini.
Yes,you're probably right
Mm,when should I next contact him?

Try to set up a date and make things clear with him. Be consistent and don't change your mind again. Don't pester him if he refuses to take call or text, just write a heartfelt apology and tell him he means a lot to you and you want to be his one and only.

click to expand

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by Tinxy
Why the hell would you tell him to go out with another girl , if you knew he was joking ?

Why would you say that you would go out with plan b guy if you knew he was joking ?!?!

This is really stupid behaviour lol

Aquas/men don't like provocative women who do shit like that ... End of

If he's not bound to you then you don't need to say it actions speak louder than words ....

Probably pissed him right off

Well,he was teasing me,I thought it was better not to get serious and hence I said,cool,go with her.I didn't want to get mad at him,I thought it was the best solution.He said I should go for plan b,that he said grimly,at that time,instead of thinking he's trying to tell me to go with plan b,all I thought was he's not going with me.Later though when I thought about it,I realised what he meant.In my second call I did say what if I didn't have a plan b? What if all my plans had him? To which he replied I shouldn't be serious about him and have fun.hey,You too are a Taurus right?

click to expand

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by Tinxy
Why the hell would you tell him to go out with another girl , if you knew he was joking ?

Why would you say that you would go out with plan b guy if you knew he was joking ?!?!

This is really stupid behaviour lol

Aquas/men don't like provocative women who do shit like that ... End of

If he's not bound to you then you don't need to say it actions speak louder than words ....

Probably pissed him right off

Well,he was teasing me,I thought it was better not to get serious and hence I said,cool,go with her.I didn't want to get mad at him,I thought it was the best solution.He said I should go for plan b,that he said grimly,at that time,instead of thinking he's trying to tell me to go with plan b,all I thought was he's not going with me.Later though when I thought about it,I realised what he meant.In my second call I did say what if I didn't have a plan b? What if all my plans had him? To which he replied I shouldn't be serious about him and have fun.hey,You too are a Taurus right?

I get what you're trying to do, I believe having a good sense of humour can fix anything especially when you're angry it can help.

Aquarians are highly insecure, because we're air and kinda intangible are very out of touch with what our lovers are feeling so we rely on a lot of reassurance and we gauge honesty on conviction and sencerity.

We can kinda seem like we have Aspergers in relationships, jokes about being abandoned or not being needed in anyway will go straight over our head.

click to expand

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by Tinxy
Why the hell would you tell him to go out with another girl , if you knew he was joking ?

Why would you say that you would go out with plan b guy if you knew he was joking ?!?!

This is really stupid behaviour lol

Aquas/men don't like provocative women who do shit like that ... End of

If he's not bound to you then you don't need to say it actions speak louder than words ....

Probably pissed him right off

Well,he was teasing me,I thought it was better not to get serious and hence I said,cool,go with her.I didn't want to get mad at him,I thought it was the best solution.He said I should go for plan b,that he said grimly,at that time,instead of thinking he's trying to tell me to go with plan b,all I thought was he's not going with me.Later though when I thought about it,I realised what he meant.In my second call I did say what if I didn't have a plan b? What if all my plans had him? To which he replied I shouldn't be serious about him and have fun.hey,You too are a Taurus right?

I get what you're trying to do, I believe having a good sense of humour can fix anything especially when you're angry it can help.

Aquarians are highly insecure, because we're air and kinda intangible are very out of touch with what our lovers are feeling so we rely on a lot of reassurance and we gauge honesty on conviction and sencerity.

We can kinda seem like we have Aspergers in relationships, jokes about being abandoned or not being needed in anyway will go straight over our head.

Thanks for the input I feel I perhaps have caused two things,one,maybe I shouldn't have told him to go out with other people and thus may have caused his insecurity, two,I may have looked clingy,telling him to hang out with me when perhaps he didn't want to.So the tricky part is,how do I go about telling him that he's important without sounding clingy.

click to expand

Posted by truecap

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by Tinxy
Why the hell would you tell him to go out with another girl , if you knew he was joking ?

Why would you say that you would go out with plan b guy if you knew he was joking ?!?!

This is really stupid behaviour lol

Aquas/men don't like provocative women who do shit like that ... End of

If he's not bound to you then you don't need to say it actions speak louder than words ....

Probably pissed him right off

Well,he was teasing me,I thought it was better not to get serious and hence I said,cool,go with her.I didn't want to get mad at him,I thought it was the best solution.He said I should go for plan b,that he said grimly,at that time,instead of thinking he's trying to tell me to go with plan b,all I thought was he's not going with me.Later though when I thought about it,I realised what he meant.In my second call I did say what if I didn't have a plan b? What if all my plans had him? To which he replied I shouldn't be serious about him and have fun.hey,You too are a Taurus right?

I get what you're trying to do, I believe having a good sense of humour can fix anything especially when you're angry it can help.

Aquarians are highly insecure, because we're air and kinda intangible are very out of touch with what our lovers are feeling so we rely on a lot of reassurance and we gauge honesty on conviction and sencerity.

We can kinda seem like we have Aspergers in relationships, jokes about being abandoned or not being needed in anyway will go straight over our head.

Thanks for the input I feel I perhaps have caused two things,one,maybe I shouldn't have told him to go out with other people and thus may have caused his insecurity, two,I may have looked clingy,telling him to hang out with me when perhaps he didn't want to.So the tricky part is,how do I go about telling him that he's important without sounding clingy.

Just be honest and be yourself. He already likes who you are, so be true to you. If something bothers you, speak up. If something makes you happy speak up. He will respect that.

click to expand

Posted by degenerate_ingenue
I mean idk. My dad doesn't have the Aqua moon or mars. My dad is Aqua Sun/Merc/Venus/Jupiter/Saturn with a Virgo moon and Cap Mars. When he and my mom get in big fights he normally laughs when she gets angry/offended. He doesn't really take her emotions seriously (she's a bit dramatic though lol so that could also be why). I'm not sure what to think in this specific situation...one time when my mom said she was going to leave and stay with her mother my dad just replied she can do whatever she wants to but that he was sorry (he had laughed previous to her statement). Well she didn't leave anyways, they were fine....but this is almost a reverse of what your situation was....I think if my mom would have said something like that to my dad he might just do it, mainly to prove that he can. Not to be spiteful but to prove a point. Since they have been married for so long he wouldn't do that now, but if that were to have happened at the beginning of the relationship since he has that Cap mars and Virgo moon he probably would've left entirely. He may have internally been upset about it but would never outwardly show it. I would say my dad is very much all in or completely out.

I should ask if my mother ever tried to say something as you did here, but I don't think she ever would have. She's a bit timid and too gentle with her own and others' emotions. I will inquire later just to see. My father does have occasional bouts of jealousy. They are rare and very quiet, but you can tell. One time I swear my mom was so happy to find out he was jealous of some weirdo who hands her mix CDs at work (he's a customer). She came up to me and smiled and said "he asked how often he came in, and I could tell he was jealous even though he tried to hide it so I threw away the CD. I never listen to them anyways".

I think overall jealousy and possessiveness are perceived and to an extent are desired in relationships at a HEALTHY rate (not clingy and psychotic/controlling obviously). I think he was observing what you would say and was disappointed. Now he is trying to play it off as a joke. He is trying to let you know, since you weren't serious he won't be serious. when you mentioned his ex girlfriend or whoever it was, I think he perceived it in a way that you were not intending (or were intending- not even sure at this point) and was slightly put out by your response, which he countered with that guy who he thought liked you. There was a communication barrier there, and now it is a mess altogether. Both of you have to be straightforward. You have to flat out ask him now. There will be no other way to know what he is thinking or what he perceived without asking, because he may not tell you if you don't ask. From there you will continue to be confused and asking people on a forum what they think when it is hard to gauge what he is actually th

Posted by truecap
Sounds like he's wanting to move on and is trying to be nice about it.

You have a habit of telling him his actions are ok when in fact he knows you feel differently. If something isn't ok with you, you should speak up. Aqua expect to get called out on things because they know when they are misbehaving. When you say it's okay, and he knows it's not, they will lose interest. They like someone who is true to themselves. They are and want someone who is their own person.

So, if something they are doing is not okay with you, you should say so.

Posted by truecap
You're Taurus, right?

Look at it this way. He's admittedly unstable in relationships. So, as a Taurus, instability really isn't a relationship trait that works well for you. So, think about the reality from your angle and whether he actually has what it takes for you to be happy.