First tiff after commitment,will you people leave?
I mean idk. My dad doesn't have the Aqua moon or mars. My dad is Aqua Sun/Merc/Venus/Jupiter/Saturn with a Virgo moon and Cap Mars. When he and my mom get in big fights he normally laughs when she gets angry/offended. He doesn't really take her emotions seriously (she's a bit dramatic though lol so that could also be why). I'm not sure what to think in this specific situation...one time when my mom said she was going to leave and stay with her mother my dad just replied she can do whatever she wants to but that he was sorry (he had laughed previous to her statement). Well she didn't leave anyways, they were fine....but this is almost a reverse of what your situation was....I think if my mom would have said something like that to my dad he might just do it, mainly to prove that he can. Not to be spiteful but to prove a point. Since they have been married for so long he wouldn't do that now, but if that were to have happened at the beginning of the relationship since he has that Cap mars and Virgo moon he probably would've left entirely. He may have internally been upset about it but would never outwardly show it. I would say my dad is very much all in or completely out.
I should ask if my mother ever tried to say something as you did here, but I don't think she ever would have. She's a bit timid and too gentle with her own and others' emotions. I will inquire later just to see. My father does have occasional bouts of jealousy. They are rare and very quiet, but you can tell. One time I swear my mom was so happy to find out he was jealous of some weirdo who hands her mix CDs at work (he's a customer). She came up to me and smiled and said "he asked how often he came in, and I could tell he was jealous even though he tried to hide it so I threw away the CD. I never listen to them anyways".
I think overall jealousy and possessiveness are perceived and to an extent are desired in relationships at a HEALTHY rate (not clingy and psychotic/controlling obviously). I think he was observing what you would say and was disappointed. Now he is trying to play it off as a joke. He is trying to let you know, since you weren't serious he won't be serious. when you mentioned his ex girlfriend or whoever it was, I think he perceived it in a way that you were not intending (or were intending- not even sure at this point) and was slightly put out by your response, which he countered with that guy who he thought liked you. There was a communication barrier there, and now it is a mess altogether. Both of you have to be straightforward. You have to flat out ask him now. There will be no other way to know what he is thinking or what he perceived without asking, because he may not tell you if you don't ask. From there you will continue to be confused and asking people on a forum what they think when it is hard to gauge what he is actually thinking. What if we are all wrong here? My point is, he is the only one who has the answers you're looking for and he will tell
I should ask if my mother ever tried to say something as you did here, but I don't think she ever would have. She's a bit timid and too gentle with her own and others' emotions. I will inquire later just to see. My father does have occasional bouts of jealousy. They are rare and very quiet, but you can tell. One time I swear my mom was so happy to find out he was jealous of some weirdo who hands her mix CDs at work (he's a customer). She came up to me and smiled and said "he asked how often he came in, and I could tell he was jealous even though he tried to hide it so I threw away the CD. I never listen to them anyways".
I think overall jealousy and possessiveness are perceived and to an extent are desired in relationships at a HEALTHY rate (not clingy and psychotic/controlling obviously). I think he was observing what you would say and was disappointed. Now he is trying to play it off as a joke. He is trying to let you know, since you weren't serious he won't be serious. when you mentioned his ex girlfriend or whoever it was, I think he perceived it in a way that you were not intending (or were intending- not even sure at this point) and was slightly put out by your response, which he countered with that guy who he thought liked you. There was a communication barrier there, and now it is a mess altogether. Both of you have to be straightforward. You have to flat out ask him now. There will be no other way to know what he is thinking or what he perceived without asking, because he may not tell you if you don't ask. From there you will continue to be confused and asking people on a forum what they think when it is hard to gauge what he is actually thinking. What if we are all wrong here? My point is, he is the only one who has the answers you're looking for and he will tell
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Posted by MsTeeq1974Posted by itsDimplez
my cells are dying, my metabolism has slowed, tired is my best friend, and the pressures of marriage and starting a family is weighting heavily.
what age scared you?
I'm 41 and no age has scared me yet. I think maybe 60 will be the magic number. Lolclick to expand
How do you think you'll handle that when it approaches?
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by MsTeeq1974
Had kids already, but want to marry for companionship only...not to raise a family or settle down. Pisces sun and moon. When really young I never wanted kids and after having kids, I really didn't want to get married.
I've disckovered that partnerships take a lot out of me.
With the luminaries in Pisces, I guess they would...
I think Scenic also has double Pisces, and *maybe*
Undine (she may have all 3... can't remember)--
haven't heard this from them, though Undine has
her own (unique and slightly detached) way of
doing things.
click to expand
Yea...I haven't settled for the detached way of doing things. I'm about close though. Another couple of years will wear me down to a relationship of convenience. Lol...I swear.
Posted by retrogradexy
Age scares me because its full of expectations within given time frames.I have come to terms that I already failed to meet most of them and I have to live with those consequences. Its not so bad. I prefer to remember the times I chose to do something I wanted. If I ever reached the age 60' its all going to be the same thing anyway. Time slows down and you ask yourself, is it time yet?
Personally, I worry about being diagnosed with an illness and/or ambulates dependently with a device.
The worries in our 20s is normal I guess. Were trying to find our footing and setting foundations.
Im just rambling
I really liked your first two sentences. And you're right, after 60 you question if tomorrow will be another day you'll get to see
Posted by ScenicPosted by MontgomeryPosted by MsTeeq1974
Had kids already, but want to marry for companionship only...not to raise a family or settle down. Pisces sun and moon. When really young I never wanted kids and after having kids, I really didn't want to get married.
I've disckovered that partnerships take a lot out of me.
With the luminaries in Pisces, I guess they would...
I think Scenic also has double Pisces, and *maybe*
Undine (she may have all 3... can't remember)--
haven't heard this from them, though Undine has
her own (unique and slightly detached) way of
doing things.
Being in a relationship takes a lot out of me when I'm with complicated, troublesome people. My leo's personality makes things simple and straightforward so I don't feel exhausted or burdened at all. Now, ask me about my past scorp and aqua and you'll hear a completely different story. Even then, I don't let relationships take that much out of me. For some, it's not as easy as that, but for me it is.click to expand
I wish it were that way for me. The first Scorp I was with said that I give too much of myself l...to everything. He referred specifically to him, kids, job, friends...I'm a go big or go home type of person.
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Posted by FrostAndBite
You both sound like idiots.
+1
Why didn't you go camping with her? Was that not an option?
So I have a very good friend going through a horrible break up right now. She's heartbroken and her ex is a real POS. Her situation has been going on for a couple months now and I'm there to help her talk through things whenever she needs it, but I'm wondering is there anything else I can do to help her through this. I try to listen, talk things out with her, and get her out some to have a little fun. I know libras need to keep things balanced, and that concept is kinda foreign to me. Any advice from Libras on this?
Posted by frankperezPosted by AgentP911
Some good feedback here from all.
You both sound young and you both haven't handled this simple situation very well.
I can see you value someone's word so if you made a 'pact' (is this what we call it these days??) then you would hold them to it. However, relationships require flexibility. Was it really the end of the world that she chose camping with her friends over the day with you? Perhaps an alternative approach of loosening your grip on her reigns to let her go and have more freedom may reduce her rebellious streak. It sounds like you took her decision as a personal rejection. Could you not have just said 'OK, have fun at camping and I'll see you the next day or whenever' and then found something else to do with your day?
If it's a repetitive theme then perhaps a word in her ear in a non passive aggressive manner might help. If you're both unable to sit down and discuss minor issues and compromise then it does pose the question of whether you're suited or ready for a relationship.
What's your sign? I wonder if you have water placements.
I'm a virgo . I really don't want to act jealous , but when I don't act jealous , she complains too . One time she told me that her coworker gave her a special gift on her birthday and she told me .."you don't care don't you??"click to expand
Give the man a break guys....you know that this is soooooo a Scorpio trait. Lol ha ha ha ha Scorpios are complicated partners and the push/pull is a part of the relationships that they actually WANT. I would love to tell you when it subsides, but mine is still happening. I guess its a compliment of sorts that the Scorp finds the partnership worth the trouble of push/pull, because it's because the Scorp believes that they are more affected by the relationship than their partner is. Most Scorps have themselves convinced that in a committed partnership or potentially committed partnership, they care more than the other.