Monumental Disaster.
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by chupichulo on Sunday, June 16, 2013 and has 6 replies.
Hi everyone,
First posted this in the Pisces forum. Hope I can get some input from my fellow Aquarians.
Can't say I really believe in astrology but sometimes the things I read about my sign are spot on. I'm interested to learn more about Pisces woman, cos my relationship has turned rather sour lately. Again, some of the things I've learned so far deinitely ring a bell.... sensitive,
swimming in opposite directions,
So here's my story... Three year relationship with a wonderful woman. We're both 45. Back in February she dumps me. Says our relationship is not working. I'm like, "What do you mean it's not working ??? I thought it was going fine." Sure, we had some disagreements and some fights but that's normal.
Anyway, I did not take it well. Sent long angry abusive emails. If we got together to talk, I would lose my temper and then she wouldn't want to talk any more. After two months of banging my head against a brick wall I started to think, OK it's over. Time to move on. So I started looking at some dating websites and went out for dinner with a woman... and then after dinner to a bar for a drink and then later, back to her place and, well... you can guess the rest. This was not a good experience for me. Only served to convince me more that I wanted to get back with my ex, but it still looked like that was never going to happen.
Until one day back at the beginning of May.
I'm round at her flat for a coffee and I'm saying we can still be friends, yes?
As I stood up to go I said, "Come give me a hug.." Hug turned to kisses and suddenly we're back on. From the hallway to the bedroom.
So, of course, I was very happy. The next day we're in bed at night and she tells me that she went out with another guy... just for a drink. What do I think?
I said, "What you do with other guys when our relationship is finished is none of my business."
Now we know what's coming, don't we?
"...and you? Have you been out with anyone else?"
Now, because I love this woman and I don't want a relationship which is based on a lie, I told her the truth. Yes I went out with someone and we had sex, but don't worry, it was rubbish.
She turned her back on me and I thought it was probably best if I leave, with a few angry words to the effect of, "If you don't like the answer, don't ask the question."
Next day, of course, our relationship was off again. So now I'm really angry... again!
At first I was trying to justify what I did, saying, "You fi
First posted this in the Pisces forum. Hope I can get some input from my fellow Aquarians.
Can't say I really believe in astrology but sometimes the things I read about my sign are spot on. I'm interested to learn more about Pisces woman, cos my relationship has turned rather sour lately. Again, some of the things I've learned so far deinitely ring a bell.... sensitive,
swimming in opposite directions,
So here's my story... Three year relationship with a wonderful woman. We're both 45. Back in February she dumps me. Says our relationship is not working. I'm like, "What do you mean it's not working ??? I thought it was going fine." Sure, we had some disagreements and some fights but that's normal.
Anyway, I did not take it well. Sent long angry abusive emails. If we got together to talk, I would lose my temper and then she wouldn't want to talk any more. After two months of banging my head against a brick wall I started to think, OK it's over. Time to move on. So I started looking at some dating websites and went out for dinner with a woman... and then after dinner to a bar for a drink and then later, back to her place and, well... you can guess the rest. This was not a good experience for me. Only served to convince me more that I wanted to get back with my ex, but it still looked like that was never going to happen.
Until one day back at the beginning of May.
I'm round at her flat for a coffee and I'm saying we can still be friends, yes?
As I stood up to go I said, "Come give me a hug.." Hug turned to kisses and suddenly we're back on. From the hallway to the bedroom.
So, of course, I was very happy. The next day we're in bed at night and she tells me that she went out with another guy... just for a drink. What do I think?
I said, "What you do with other guys when our relationship is finished is none of my business."
Now we know what's coming, don't we?
"...and you? Have you been out with anyone else?"
Now, because I love this woman and I don't want a relationship which is based on a lie, I told her the truth. Yes I went out with someone and we had sex, but don't worry, it was rubbish.
She turned her back on me and I thought it was probably best if I leave, with a few angry words to the effect of, "If you don't like the answer, don't ask the question."
Next day, of course, our relationship was off again. So now I'm really angry... again!
At first I was trying to justify what I did, saying, "You fi
"You finished with me, remember? I can do what I like! You finish with me, of course I'm going to go with somebody else. What did you expect?"
That didn't wash. And nothing I've said since has washed either
I said, "OK, it doesn't matter if our relationship was finished or not. All that matters is I've hurt you, which is the last thing I ever want to do, and I'm sorry. I got down on my knees and begged her not to dump me again over this. No go!
So what have we got here ? After three months of listening to her saying we would never get back together, suddenly we did.
After thinking that she doesn't care about me or about our relationship, it seems that she does/did. But I've thrown an enormous spanner in the works by going with somebody else. We're pretty much back exactly where we were before. I say we can still be friends and I hope that one day, she'll come back to me, except now we've got this added problem.
She says that because I went with somebody else, I don't really love her. If I loved her, I wouldn't be capable of having sex with somebody else. A lot of what she says is that all men are the same, only interested in sex, and I've just proved that I'm no different to all the rest.
I tell her I love her now and she's like "Yeah, right!"
I'm determined that from now on I'm not going to get angry any more. That really doesn't help. But I'm at a loss to know what positive things I can do. So frustrating to lose the one you love and there's NOTHING you can do about it.
All I can do is be patient. I hope that in time, she will see that I still love her and then maybe she will come back. Unfortunately, I haven't been very good at the being patient part.
I was sending more whiney emails. Trying not to write anything angry, but they were all something along the lines of... "Why are treating me like this? It's not fair." etc etc
Last night I got told not to send any more messages and it was clearly the last communication there will be for a while. Obviously, I need to step back. I have to give it a few weeks, or even months and then see where we are.
Does anybody see the pisces in this ?
Anyway, that's about it. I welcome any comments. Anybody been in the same situation? Anybody got a magic wand ?
That didn't wash. And nothing I've said since has washed either
I said, "OK, it doesn't matter if our relationship was finished or not. All that matters is I've hurt you, which is the last thing I ever want to do, and I'm sorry. I got down on my knees and begged her not to dump me again over this. No go!
So what have we got here ? After three months of listening to her saying we would never get back together, suddenly we did.
After thinking that she doesn't care about me or about our relationship, it seems that she does/did. But I've thrown an enormous spanner in the works by going with somebody else. We're pretty much back exactly where we were before. I say we can still be friends and I hope that one day, she'll come back to me, except now we've got this added problem.
She says that because I went with somebody else, I don't really love her. If I loved her, I wouldn't be capable of having sex with somebody else. A lot of what she says is that all men are the same, only interested in sex, and I've just proved that I'm no different to all the rest.
I tell her I love her now and she's like "Yeah, right!"
I'm determined that from now on I'm not going to get angry any more. That really doesn't help. But I'm at a loss to know what positive things I can do. So frustrating to lose the one you love and there's NOTHING you can do about it.
All I can do is be patient. I hope that in time, she will see that I still love her and then maybe she will come back. Unfortunately, I haven't been very good at the being patient part.
I was sending more whiney emails. Trying not to write anything angry, but they were all something along the lines of... "Why are treating me like this? It's not fair." etc etc
Last night I got told not to send any more messages and it was clearly the last communication there will be for a while. Obviously, I need to step back. I have to give it a few weeks, or even months and then see where we are.
Does anybody see the pisces in this ?
Anyway, that's about it. I welcome any comments. Anybody been in the same situation? Anybody got a magic wand ?
If you don't really believe in astrology then I guess you can't really believe in knowing what a pisces girl is like! Sorry just had to put that one out there.
Also I'm going to be blunt, is the purpose of this to vent, to gain insight or for validation of sorts? If you're venting yeah let it all out it always sucks when the one you love dumps you.
If it's for insight I think the a particular pisces gave you some good feedback. Pisces are reflective and peace keeping most of the time and when they are done they really do mean they're done. The fact she still met up with you after some abusive emails could possibly mean care from her side knowing that you're not handling it well. She might not be overly receptive or firing back at you because she'd rather keep the friendship who really knows?
I agree with her, if you really did love her why did you sleep with others? I would've done everything to get her back NOT including sending hateful and bashful emails. Might seem justified to you but remember the world doesn't revolve around you, especially not hers.
If it was you who instigated the hug being well aware you still had feelings for her then really you only have yourself to blame and I will call you out on that point so there's no point trying to justify her reaction or being above it all because it's clear from this post you STILL love her.
The best you can do? Be the friend or just remove yourself from her. She's obviously made up her mind and just because you love her doesn't mean it's going to be reciprocate it or that by some force of will you'll magically make her love you again.
Also I'm going to be blunt, is the purpose of this to vent, to gain insight or for validation of sorts? If you're venting yeah let it all out it always sucks when the one you love dumps you.
If it's for insight I think the a particular pisces gave you some good feedback. Pisces are reflective and peace keeping most of the time and when they are done they really do mean they're done. The fact she still met up with you after some abusive emails could possibly mean care from her side knowing that you're not handling it well. She might not be overly receptive or firing back at you because she'd rather keep the friendship who really knows?
I agree with her, if you really did love her why did you sleep with others? I would've done everything to get her back NOT including sending hateful and bashful emails. Might seem justified to you but remember the world doesn't revolve around you, especially not hers.
If it was you who instigated the hug being well aware you still had feelings for her then really you only have yourself to blame and I will call you out on that point so there's no point trying to justify her reaction or being above it all because it's clear from this post you STILL love her.
The best you can do? Be the friend or just remove yourself from her. She's obviously made up her mind and just because you love her doesn't mean it's going to be reciprocate it or that by some force of will you'll magically make her love you again.
*reciprocated
Anyway, this isn't really an astrology related problem I think it's pretty universal. Sure I can pick out some pisces bits, I can also pick out some Aqua bits, Aries bits, Taurus bits, Virgo bits. I just have a feeling you want validation that she still loves you and no one can really give you that except her.
Anyway, this isn't really an astrology related problem I think it's pretty universal. Sure I can pick out some pisces bits, I can also pick out some Aqua bits, Aries bits, Taurus bits, Virgo bits. I just have a feeling you want validation that she still loves you and no one can really give you that except her.
Thanks for your replies.
Why am I posting on here? For insight, yes. I'm interested in the Pisces angle because it seems it might give me some idea as to what's going on with my ex. I've picked up some useful clues already, like you can't get angry and start criticising.... What? You didn't know that before??? Well, no, I didn't. As soon as I calm down I always say sorry, but it's too late, the damage is done and it may well be a Pisces trait that such things are not forgiven easily.
I screwed everything up by going with somebody else and it may well be that there is no way back from that.
But I'm hoping somebody out there can help. Maybe somebody has some bright ideas that I haven't thought of that might just work. It's called clutching at straws.
Why did I go with someone else? Well, I say to you, Aquasnoz, the same as I've said to her. We were finished. And for two months I'd tried EVERYTHING I could do turn things around, but she was saying every day no way. A little more patience on my part and things might have been ok, but I was angry. And in my anger I said a number of times, Well F### you !! You just throw our relationship in the toilet and that's that.
Our relationship obviously means nothing to you! I mean nothing to you! So F### you...it's time to move on.
I went out on a date and at the end of the night the woman was up for some action, so I thought "Why the hell not? Do I have a girlfriend now? No, I don't! If there had been somebody there to tell me, "Hey if you do this, you will screw up any chance you might have of getting back with M." I might well have said, "What chance? Are you kidding me?" Anyway, I can't justify what I did. It was a mistake.
If we hadn't had the brief respite from hostilities last month, it wouldn't matter. I asked her for a hug and I certainly wasn't expecting her to start kissing me and give me another chance. She apologised to me for all the shit of the last three months. She missed me and our relationship wasn't so bad after all. After I told her I'd been with somebody else it all came crashing down again. Now she says again our relationship wasn't working. This is what is really doing my head in now. So which is it? It was rubbish, or it wasn't so bad ? I'd like to think that what she said before represents her true feelings but now she's off again on another round of hiding her feelings and telling herself and me it was not working.
Since the beginning of our re
Why am I posting on here? For insight, yes. I'm interested in the Pisces angle because it seems it might give me some idea as to what's going on with my ex. I've picked up some useful clues already, like you can't get angry and start criticising.... What? You didn't know that before??? Well, no, I didn't. As soon as I calm down I always say sorry, but it's too late, the damage is done and it may well be a Pisces trait that such things are not forgiven easily.
I screwed everything up by going with somebody else and it may well be that there is no way back from that.
But I'm hoping somebody out there can help. Maybe somebody has some bright ideas that I haven't thought of that might just work. It's called clutching at straws.
Why did I go with someone else? Well, I say to you, Aquasnoz, the same as I've said to her. We were finished. And for two months I'd tried EVERYTHING I could do turn things around, but she was saying every day no way. A little more patience on my part and things might have been ok, but I was angry. And in my anger I said a number of times, Well F### you !! You just throw our relationship in the toilet and that's that.
Our relationship obviously means nothing to you! I mean nothing to you! So F### you...it's time to move on.
I went out on a date and at the end of the night the woman was up for some action, so I thought "Why the hell not? Do I have a girlfriend now? No, I don't! If there had been somebody there to tell me, "Hey if you do this, you will screw up any chance you might have of getting back with M." I might well have said, "What chance? Are you kidding me?" Anyway, I can't justify what I did. It was a mistake.
If we hadn't had the brief respite from hostilities last month, it wouldn't matter. I asked her for a hug and I certainly wasn't expecting her to start kissing me and give me another chance. She apologised to me for all the shit of the last three months. She missed me and our relationship wasn't so bad after all. After I told her I'd been with somebody else it all came crashing down again. Now she says again our relationship wasn't working. This is what is really doing my head in now. So which is it? It was rubbish, or it wasn't so bad ? I'd like to think that what she said before represents her true feelings but now she's off again on another round of hiding her feelings and telling herself and me it was not working.
Since the beginning of our re
When your post is cut short is that a sign that you're rambling, or what?
Since the beginning of our relationship I said, "If you're not happy, if there's a problem, I want to know, so we can talk about it and try and make things right." Then she dumps me and I say, "Why?"
We talked about it some, but there always came a point where she closed off and the conversation was terminated. "We've already talked about it. Why do I have to keep repeating the same things?"
Well, I want to talk about it some more. I don't accept that there's nothing we can do to make things better.
I say find the solution to the problem. She says we're finished and that is the solution to the problem.
Frustrating, no? Might cause you to lose your temper a bit. Especially when I'm thinking just a short time ago everything was fine. We spent the whole day together at the end of January and everything was fine and then two weeks later I get dumped.
No contact is the way. No contact is not going to get her back, I get that. But we'll see where we are six months from now. And in the meantime, I don't go with anybody else just in case there might be another chance.
Since the beginning of our relationship I said, "If you're not happy, if there's a problem, I want to know, so we can talk about it and try and make things right." Then she dumps me and I say, "Why?"
We talked about it some, but there always came a point where she closed off and the conversation was terminated. "We've already talked about it. Why do I have to keep repeating the same things?"
Well, I want to talk about it some more. I don't accept that there's nothing we can do to make things better.
I say find the solution to the problem. She says we're finished and that is the solution to the problem.
Frustrating, no? Might cause you to lose your temper a bit. Especially when I'm thinking just a short time ago everything was fine. We spent the whole day together at the end of January and everything was fine and then two weeks later I get dumped.
No contact is the way. No contact is not going to get her back, I get that. But we'll see where we are six months from now. And in the meantime, I don't go with anybody else just in case there might be another chance.
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