Relationship advice for libra women and aqua man..

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by Jolana on Thursday, March 29, 2007 and has 104 replies.
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Not everything can be decided by sign- but if we keep it to the libra traits and aqua traits? How do you feel we mix. Im not unhappy just wanting to get a true sense of what I should expect and what I should avoid during with an Aqua. Im also open to some suggestions on how he thinks...Ive been with an aqua for over a year- but we are still casual-but its comfortable-we dont talk about it but I think we are both only seeing each other.. In so many ways we seem perfect for each other and he has told me I am one of the nicest people he has ever met. He has commit issues but I understand that... so how do I help this relationship continue to grow- Hes worth the wait-- give me some helpful hints!! This is an older Aqua with a bad ex wife relationship but hes fun, unpredictable and hot... What might I need to do or know to make this truly work?
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Good luck!
I would suggest you roam around the libra board, plenty of issues with Aqua/Libra relationships.
For the record it's a good combination but you have to have alot of patience with your Aqua or its just not going to work out, you seem to be doing good if your a year into it.
What are you unhappy with? Maybe some Aqua's or Libra's will chime in once they understand were the unhappiness is stemming from.
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Its not disappointed- i just care for him a lot. He has ran a couple times and our relationship is not defined. I dont want to define it as I really dont think he could deal with that. Im not unhappy hes a really great guy but hes able to go on occasion two weeks without seeing me and then other times we hang alot. I dont put any pressure so what I guess Im asking is what is the right path with him. It may be that eventually we will turn into just great friends because I would like to have him around more and I care about him to much to pressure him. We have a lot of chemistry but hes very independent...I was hoping to get aquas to tell me what they hate and like about libras and that way I would know what I do right or wrong?
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"He has ran a couple times and our relationship is not defined"
Jolana...LOL!!! that sounds familiar...i definitely know how that goes! i am dating an aqua as well, for almost 3 yrs. now on and off. he has also ran a couple of times, only to come back to me and the relationship. i am sure it is a fear of commitment...and even though we have been together for a while, i also feel in a way that our relationship is not defined. so, i completely understand where you are coming from...
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honestly...you have to be assertive...take what you want.
At this point, from my aqua perspective, he likes you...
Its a vicious cycle unless YOU do something about it.
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...so first let me state that Im basically happy- thats not what this is about. Yes I would love a normal boyfriend thing... where he wants to see me and is here all the time.. but I dont think that will happen soon. Ive been involved with him for a year and three months.. hes run away i think-three times. First time for two weeks. Second time for 2 weeks and the third time for a month. I could push this and have a conversation with him but I care enough about him to try and get him over his issues.. I mean he basically avoids...had a really bad ending experience to his marriage, single for ten years and his ex uses his kids and turned one of them against him. I cant blame him for hating women..I guess as long as hes phobic and not just playing me I will be glad to follow his pace.. I do wonder if hes using me now and then but frankly I dont think so.. when he starts to get close and calling a lot and hes really happy I always know hes going to be gone for a week.. its like clock work- get close pull back.. Is that what yours has been doing for 3 years.. i would love to hear how he acts- maybe we can compare notes!
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to answer unusual cancer- we hang at either my place or his- cook out- movie- talk- we both go out a lot for business and he travels- I dont care if he spends money and sitting at a theater isnt as good as cuddling... but I know your going to feel its wrong to not do things. As far as calling yes he does and texts plus we are working on a project together for his business. But seriously he will seem so happy but something is wrong. he doesnt "date" you know like hey how about next sat we do this.. its like friday nite or sat morning he calls says are you going to be around this afternoon.. For a few months we did the every sat. thing then out of no where he fluked out...he seems to hate plans- he had that in his profile schedules dont work.. so thats not personal I think thats just him. But he does try to make it hard for a women to love him.. he pushes you away.
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I know your right.. I would never tell him. But I think I am in love with him..so walking away or giving up is not an option right now.. thing is he said to me when he ran once that he never wanted to hurt me and we should try to be friends hes not sure how serious he could ever get... that was over 6 months ago- but have to tell you we are not just friends.. he says I am one of the nicest people he knows So why if theres chemistry, friendship, he has me involved in his buisness a bit, will he just not take this further.. The chemistry is intense so it cant just be Im not the right one.. Most women would walk he makes that happen- Trust me he is frustrating on a communication and date level...he tried to get me to hate him. He broke up via email on a holiday a year ago- only to then call a week later to also break up- I couldnt hurt him- I wasnt mad just felt sad-
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its true.. I do baby him on this- and let him run. My theory was if he always finds a reason to run I would see what he does without one... Im fairly passive in general- if someone cant hang i just find something else to do- but the killer the only thing I hate is when we are together its just so right...and I really believe he knows that too- so what does he do avoid that as much as possible... or if nothing else make it low on the priority. Between his work and his family which i dont resent.. just saying he can hide forever from a relationship. The one thing he really needs oddly enough. I dont think he normally keeps women around this long if i had to guess hes a hit and runner- and if he pauses its not for long because the women wont stand for the game.. Im myself however and you know what..if I react like a possessive demanding women he knows the script and can play it out.. right now hes on my script- its not a rerun. But I am looking for advice on where to go from here.. I have to do something soon its too lonely waiting for him to ride through his "space" periods.. I think hes in one now- just trying not to play it out-
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I heart libras...no matter how annoying Tonguesmile
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your both right.. I need to be more honest with myself and him. I dont need a commitment I would just like to feel that I can care about him without it freaking him out. Im passive yes but what do women do when the guy they care about is worth the wait..It feels like I have known him my entire life. I like the example you guys gave -the talking to him part its calm and an honest question. I dont react like a lot of women I have a good sense of who I am and feel that anger and making people do things just is a waste. But you are right its only fair that we discuss what we are doing> thanks... I hope Im not frustrating you too much. This man is a great guy I just not sure hes had the chance to trust anyone..
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so what do I do... send an email or wait till hes over next? And how do I go from the easy going me.. to ??? WHats the best way to start and if its an email what do you say>? he called last nite hes got kid sports obligations..but tits been 12 days since I saw him
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Im looking at houses you think I should just shock him and ask him in an email to live with me..lol lol thats moving forward
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You have to talk face to face or over the phone...
If let to email or voicemail...he wont contact for a while...
But putting him on the spot is never good with aquarius
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oh lawd...dont do that
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i wouldnt do that- Im so not going to push that hard. THe truth is hes running the last couple weeks-in contact by phone and yes hes been traveling but it all started because he was at that really happy point again. When he starts to want to talk to me I can feel it and he pulls back. I think hes a definite commit phob. And as bizzare as this sounds.. i think the reason we are still sortof sleeping together and hes ok calling is he usually can push the women away- treat them to casual or just upset them- they argue and then he can say well theres another bad ending- just like all the others. We complicated things for him by becoming friends. So trying to now add a little more fire and get him over this hump is a challenging- Hes a commit phob aquarius with really bad relationships in the past..THIS IS WHY I came for help in the aquarius boards.. this is a major player whos a mix of everything! Yes I should walk- and no im not into being miserable.. just fell for him..
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I understand.
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He is definitely in "space' time. So I will have a week or so till we see each other. The comments have really hit home. I am not a wimp Im acting like one I guess..just fell in love with him and your right by now hes old enough to figure his own trust issues. Truth is maybe I give him to much credit maybe hes a player and hes just played me nicely...but I dont think so. I think he cares.. but I want to see him all the time he can go two weeks sometimes not speaking to me but with seeing me so he cant truly care and I need to realize that. Chemistry for sure..friends for sure but maybe he doesnt have any feeling - I guess I should do something....
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I said it wrong- we always talk and text but he can go 2 weeks without coming over- say hes over each week for 2 months then he pulls back will be busy for 2 weekends.. that kind of thing- its odd.
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we just need space...we dont like intruding too
(I do the same)
besides it gives you a chance to miss us...and us miss you...
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"Leave me alone...Im lonely"
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you guys are making me feel much better.. Usually as a libra I like space too..but Im insecure with this guy- Im scared Im going to get hurt. He seems at times like he can stop his emotions...I just cant with him. I also feel like men would need you know ..more.. and I dont want to be the stupid nut who thinks he doesnt go out with other people..though on fridays and sats we arent together he calls me around 9:30.. so if he is with someone else its not at a standard date time... Hes older than me he just turned 49- maybe that age guy has a lower drive? -- You pull back so you miss the person.. wow..
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With the distance at least you know he wants to be with you- theres a reason- mine travels a lot so sometimes its legit...other times its just him backing away =when ever he gets calling and says Im just calling to say hello-- I know hes going to back away.
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do you think he would or you would consider marriage? - funny mine actually told me a few weeks ago that he might marry again- I asked him.. we do talk sometimes. He said he always picked his dates by their looks..high maintaince women. so now and then I get some info. just funny in my book heres how a relationship works- you date.. you spend weekends together maybe not every weekend but some and you may even start to meet some parts of each others family. Now I met his best friend.. but we really since the big freak out at new years have been falling into seeing each other no set plans. And the freak outs always come out of no where.. like after a really great period of time.. 6=8 weeks of no problems.. lol
So it unnerves you.. your afraid to be happy becaues it might end and you try not to love him because hes not letting you know if your alone in this. THough not sounding nuts I can tell he cares.. his kisses and the way hes at peace here.. but that just means he wont be back for a bit..lol Im impressed that you have done this for 5 years.. I guess they all move slow- the only other aquarius I know is my boss- her husband is aqua too and they dated 7 years... maybe I am rushing things.. lol
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has he ever been married or engaged before. This one Im seeing was married 9 years ago. Bitter divorce...he still has problems with her..but since we have been whatever we have been doing for the last year plus.. he has been less upset. I just wonder what he thinks about over there when he decides to not come over. Is it hes stopping me from falling in love (too late) or is it to prevent him from having feelings. During the friendship time was that easy to do- I mean go from a relationship to a friendship? I Imagine you got to know him really well that way being his friend friend.. Im sorry Im asking so many questions just looking for any thing that says == ok another aqua did that-makes me feel better...
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actually your relationship would be a great romance novel..its like you were destined to be together. I do see he would have to think about moving after what happened with the other relationship but Im sure he knows how much you love him and your not her...I might marry again I like the idea of having a best friend and lover - I miss sleeping next to someone- truth is for last few years in my marriage i slept on the couch...its been so long since I had someone I could depend on and have depend on me...your very lucky that you have found the right one. Everyone talks about the aqua space and aqua's thinking.. once they marry you do they go to like a room in the house.. must be interesting to get space at that point? You know the funny thing..It sounds bazarre... but theres just no way that I could imagine not knowing my aqua- like its impossible- I feel like Ive know him forever and it would just seem wrong if I never talked to him again. THat why I asked about the lover to friend transistion because if he just cant commit and be a "boyfriend-boyfriend" I care too much about him to just part ways. I just dont know how to make him be more involved.. he has always played it casual I can tell. hes a pro. Yours is getting his own place when he moves right- your not moving in together? I lived with my ex and its ok for a couple months before marriage but it doesnt seem to work well most of the time with other friends who tried it..
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theirs some wise souls in this thread, don't have much to contribute but I enjoyed the read and I walked away with alot of information from, I too realize the passive approach doesn't work and I dropped that hat a while back, jus gotta speak up no matter the circumstances or repercussions from it.
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"its like clock work- get close pull back.. Is that what yours has been doing for 3 years.. i would love to hear how he acts- maybe we can compare notes!"
jolana...yes!!! my aqua is the same. he gets close and then pulls back (out of fear of getting hurt). he is either super sweet to me, or a complete jerk...no in between.
and it's not me, and it has nothing to do with how he feels about me...it is just how he is. and my aqua has ran from me twice, the last time for 4 months. and he is moving across country in a couple of months for work...so, you could count that as running one more time!!!
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i love the really busy - I get that one too.. or he calls and wants to or needs to stop by.. now... lol Right now we are definitely in a pull back- his conversation today was odd..saying how much I have done for him that Im such an incredible friend. sometimes I think what if we are just friends.. but if we are how come that in 2 seconds hes ready to go once he finally comes over.. the chemistry is hot.. so that ummm I think takes us out of "friends" level.. but its comfortable for him and I cant make him cross into a full fledged boyfriend he has to feel it. Part of me says he does but if he admits it hes in something hes not ready for. THe thing is they just loose it at odd times.. worst was january.. most other pull backs are a week to two.. so odd.
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lol...I answer emails with one or two words, when ppl write me paragraphs.
I HATE checking my mail now...all rubbish!
Im okay with the phone...answering it that is...I just wont call you...meh.
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he always seems like hes fishing to see where Im at.. like yesterday- hes been avoiding coming over for two weeks- we are phoning and emailing and texting.. and its on friday and sat nites so Im not even truly concerned about another woman- hes always worried hes going to hurt me- or the relationship is just sex..when its not- I mean we deal with everything especially his work...I refuse to say oh I love you-- I just go with how he leads on the relationship...if he says Im his friend I call him my friend- I told him I love the chemistry between us but I help him because I care about him and want him to be successful.. if hes too dense to get it then theres nothing I can do.. he always questions why I help him so much- I always say I like you- your a good man and you deserve it.. I think at this point if we did somehow survive and he ever came close to saying anything about love I would fall over ... but his kiss tells me hes fond of me.. its different.. I guess when he doesnt see me for a couple weeks he can prevent caring too much who knows... must say his oddness has kept my interest.. phone wise he can talk but never more than 20 minutes.. and usually more like 10.. lol
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unusual.. I just read your message. Heres the funny thing if we are in the same room we attack each other- theres that much chemistry you could cut it with a knife. He knows it too- what you definitely are right about is he cant bring them together. And thats so odd.. if you have great sex and chemistry. You get each others humor to the point we kill each other with emails its great..the friendship is there.. and he thinks Im smart and I totally respect him- doesnt that all make for the best relationship ever... he seems to get bothered by the fact that everything is great. He loves my cooking- he loves my pet.. he actually on occasion gets upset it seems when we have a romantic experience- it blows his mind.. Tell me what exactly prevents him from seeing this ... I hear what your saying... just needed to vent! lol
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hmm, I seem to understand. I feel the same way about my "friend"...Im worried I might hurt him or vice versus and I like him around soooo....I dunno...
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tsk tsk...they need to WORK for the goods...they wont respect it if comes sooo easily....
(Im sure he respects you Jolana, but I talking the overall mind set)
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I know I need to tuffen up- when you pretty much are in love with them.. and they kiss you- your knees have a hard time running.. lol
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lady m... wonder why they like to think we are "friends"lol - In one way Im glad we are friends- that is part of it- but lets face it once you get naked.. I think friends is the wrong term. Maybe we need to create a more casual word then "The girlfriend" and a more serious word then "friend"..
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Aquarius creatures can't relate to anyone or anything unless it has a foundation of friendship first, friendship is our comfortable way of feeling the person out, we don't really feel comfortable, atleast I don't unless I know everything about the person, I like to know weaknesses not so much as to use it against the person b/c I'm not sadistic or mean but to remind me that he/she is human just like me and this helps me to bond with them and friendship makes us feel safe, we can't really deal with emotions head on and when we do, I know for myself I tend to f*ck it all up and run the guy away.
Its funny how I can feel all these emotions and you would never know it, I have loved deeply and that person never knew it b/c I was either too scared of rejection or too lazy to care (just my analysis).
I drive myself nuts, so I know how you guys feel lol!
I actually tried to date an Aqua guy and it was somewhat boring, chemistry was really nice and relaxing but we knew each others ways and it was over before it began, not that it was bad, we chatted a few times, called but it was one of those lets keep in touch and talk soon, (me) yeah okay, not caring either way (me being aloof), no one initiated a call back so it fizzled, we are infamous for this, its weird how we can really like a person but not follow up with them due to our own narcissism (think I spelled that wrong).
I wouldn't mind trying this union 10 years from now, could be a good match to settle down with.
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Its semantics...theres something, well atleast to me, that sends a signal that says expectation/lack of free will/attachment...when I hear the words boyfriend/husband/gf/wife....
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I came from a marriage where for years we had no sex at all. We didnt even sleep in the same room. I had a friendship in that relationship-I had kids with that person.. we had a house.. but the one thing we didnt have was passion and chemistry. People end marriages and relationships for lack of passion... chemistry and worry after they are married for years that the attraction is not as strong. My confusion is if relationships end when the chemistry dies..then it has to be part of the mix. No its not everything you need to like each other- be able to talk and work together.. trust me if he would allow more time to hang with me he would have all of that. Hes not a stupid man- he knows that what we basically have is the start of pretty good relationship- he just wont let himself have one. He has put up a wall for so long and hes basically i think either not dated alot or if he did it was more of a hit and run. Im not saying he hasnt loved or had a relationship Im not aware of- but my gut says the marriage and divorce he went through pretty much isolated him from wanting ....hes been a player an expert of knowing when to walk away..hes tried 4 times to walk away from me and he may finally really do it - but I feel at peace when he is with me- I smile when he calls- the day Im going to see him I am so happy and when he kisses me i cant think. If people want to say its more important to discuss china together than experience that they may be right.. but i want both- I already had a life of lonely..
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in the case of my ex he decided that he was gay. the whole marriage was such a lie. I think in a way I enjoy the space my aqua give me...if I could change anything it would be that he eventually would want to let me into his life..all of it- Its possible he wont. Sometimes they just get to scared to even try again. The odd thing is I feel close to him- we get each other-in some odd way and I dont feel used. Would I like more emotionally yes- more would be him spending the entire weekend- and feeling like he wants to come over more and not freaking out around the holidays..lol I realize that relationships can not exist on just sex.. of course cosmo seems to think they are..lol
but one of the reasons you go out with someone is because your attracted to them.. one of the reasons you go out again is the same reason- so the attraction leads to getting to know each other..to become friends and lovers..I just think that it has to go all together. Women can play the game of you cant get me into bed- I guess thats fun for awhile.. but I two opposite friends- one slept with her husband on the first date- the other waited till they were engaged.. This aqua yes has issues- should I walk away well maybe..can I - no..I dont want to- just wanted advice on how to help him move forward without whiplash...and without playing games.. you know aqua secrets!
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first 8 years we had a sortof marriage- I had two children- that is why I stayed a few years without a relationship so the kids would have a family unit. I didnt go out on him he led me to believe it was my fault that he lost interest in sex. Oddly enough this outing in marriages is not uncommon. Meanwhile I never put sex first- in fact I gave it up! thats one of the reasons that this relationship is so special I found out what chemistry is..and caring. I have to tell you I fell for this guy the night I met him- at diner- never believed in the like love at first site thing till him. I imagine I will give up on him soon.. I mean everyone is telling me to- but hes a good man behind all that ego- and if nothing else hopefully our friendship will help him trust women again.. will be worth it if he ends up happy.
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leo kitten.... without a doubt...
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Message posted by: leokitten on 4/4/2007 12:59:57 PM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.41
oh and about aquas and sex....not sure this applies to everyone....but my aqua once told me in a discussion when we were friends that he saw sex as just sex. he did not see it as love or an embodiment of love. his whole discussion was on how love is demonstrated through a whole myriad of other more important ways and that to rely on sex, good or bad, would be dumb.
I agree, I too see sex as just sex, weird for a girl I know but I'm not like most girls but when I was younger I didn't whore around but when I had sex it was the joy of the act and not so much of an emotional attachment to a person.
I didn't feel like I had to be emotionally connected/attached to a guy or necessarily be in a long term/short term relationship with a guy to have great sex. I never put love and sex in the same category, I honestly don't know how to do that. When I went thru my sexual exploration phase, I became a tool for a hot minute but I quickly learned that it wasn't my style to be this way either. I honestly can look at a guy and instantly decide what role I want him to play in my life and base my decision on sex by that.
I always felt like my actions towards the person dictates how I love them, sex is just sex but its what I'm doing and who I'm being towards you that dictates if I love you. Its not the words, its my actions.
I think this has caused alot of confusion with guys I have dealt with in the past, I think they expected me to say I loved them or verbally express affection to them in some way and I wouldn't but my actions showed I did, most guys think Aqua girls are nuts, atleast that is what I have heard but we honestly are misunderstood. We are analytical creatures, we innately know sex has nothing to do with love and can't make anyone love or want us so we don't approach sex as others might approach it...my opinion
I wish men would be as patient with Aqua females as the women are with Aqua males.
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"
I always felt like my actions towards the person dictates how I love them, sex is just sex but its what I'm doing and who I'm being towards you that dictates if I love you. Its not the words, its my actions.
I think this has caused alot of confusion with guys I have dealt with in the past, I think they expected me to say I loved them or verbally express affection to them in some way and I wouldn't but my actions showed I did, most guys think Aqua girls are nuts, atleast that is what I have heard but we honestly are misunderstood. We are analytical creatures, we innately know sex has nothing to do with love and can't make anyone love or want us so we don't approach sex as others might approach it...my opinion
I wish men would be as patient with Aqua females as the women are with Aqua males.
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I concur Sad
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the funny thing is, now that I have emotionally matured and cleaned out my closet, I have no problem saying or showing love and the guys are so dayum scared,
what!! she loves me and doesn't want anything from me...run man run!!
I have always loved people, just never knew how to say it.
my heart chakra's was blocked up with all that gunk I was carrying around, I took some years to de-gunk my heart and now I'm able to show it and say it, people are suspicious, so fricken weird.
this doesn't deter me from being me but I do notice how people say they want love but are truly afraid of it *puzzling*
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you guys have been great.. it turned out different than I expected. I didnt expect to get into all of this I just wanted to find out how to handle an aqua..a male aqua. I realize a lot from things you have said. I am still concerned that maybe I havent expressed some things the way I should. Hes a good man.. hes very very handsome and i think he has had no problem getting women- just a problem with having relationships. I mean probably when he went on the dating site he wanted to you know .. maybe hook up and then drop it- It didnt end up that way. He has said so many times how Im so different than most women that I am so nice. He seems to have a problem with walking away. I dont think hes sure what to do- we have so many projects concerning his business.I have been helping him with technical stuff. I enjoy that..he doesnt ask that much I just know when he needs it. I have given him a lot of room.. I did that because I could sense it. I do need to go after what I want to- thing is it wasnt fun dating other guys when he spazed in January.. somehow i just feel better around him. Does he give enough no... is he here enough for me like holidays no... does that need to change yes.. I just felt he needed a period of time to learn that he can trust again.. without like pounding for commits and promises that can get broken anyhow. I need the venting with you guys because I do realize even if i wont admit it that a lot of issues are hanging that I need to address. But dating - some people do it for years.. they meet break up see other people get back together.. I just have to learn how to do it again. I was emotionally wore out after the divorce .. paper wise you know so this message board is great therapy.. I thank all of u for letting me sound 15 !! lol
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No worries Jolana, I'm every bit of 15 1/2 on these boards, I whine, cry and then I turn around with elated thankyou's and updates...speaking of updates!
Mr.Leo called and he was all chipper and happy, not sure what turned him around but wow! He was near this woman outside and he was like man she sounds like you and I was adament she didn't but when he let me hear how she was talking and I was like yep thats me lol!!
I enjoyed every second, we talked and teased each other over the phone, he opened up and told me that the only thing that bothers him is that I don't trust him and that I jump to conclusions which I do.
I called him at work and told him I just called to hear his voice and we chatted for a minute and he told me to call him anytime I feel like it whereas b/f he wasn't giving me that option.
I love this side and I'm learning that down time is also good, I might not like it but its good for leos to be able to regenerate and take care of there mental and emotional health before approaching the relationship again, do I like the disappearing act....hell no!! But I think I can come to respect it if it helps us become closer.
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I read a funny thing- on the libra board it had a how to break up with a libra.. I guess we are diehards...I am going to go with it through the summer and see if he starts to be a little more needy- but come the fall I think we need to decide what we are doing. I dont need marriage but I do need a total boyfriend-not sure he knows how to be a boyfriend...hes been a loner for a long long time. funny he told me he doesnt want to rush...he doesnt want to rush anything. Your right unusual I reached a point where my friends were asking what Im doing with this guy and the way he drops by without having a planned date and just hangs I began to wonder if Im even dating him.. Im still not sure! lol Its not even that I have to have a commit..its that I dont want to feel stupid-between his work and his kids sports that tie up every saturday the last couple months make you wonder if your seeing him at all...we do- but its like are you busy around 5 I got three hours till whatever.. and he comes over and hangs. You know I figured if hes a commit phob this allows him to not feel trapped...plus oddly enough before one of his aqua run/breakups he said he was getting too comfortable--he loved this loved that but hes just cant do this...it was nuts.. anyone had an aqua say that they ar too comfortable what does that even mean! ..lol
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I know your losing patience Jolana but your going to have to dig deep and find more patience, he's into you or he wouldn't even waste his time with you, he obviously has committment issues, your eventually going to have to take the analytical approach minus the emotional energy in your approach and tell him your needs aren't quite being met. Its not like you can't open up and ask but it sounds like your afraid of losing him but the longer you hang on the worse it will get.
I know when I get comfortable I get petrified, I even find ways to screw it up but for the most part I'm a loner also and when I finally venture into a relationship, it turns my world upside down, I'm a ball of nervous energy atleast until the person lets me know its okay to be me and makes me feel loved and wanted until then I'm spazing out.
Your Aqua sounds like he's scared....if you didn't want him stopping by unannounced you definitley should have nipped that in the bud day one, now he feels comfortable that he can just pop up anytime he chooses, this actually can be used as a catalyst to ask him what he feels his role is in your life, you can actually tell him that if its no more serious than friendship then you honestly don't want nor appreciate him jus stopping by. He sees you as a friend and he's comfortable with that but you don't sound too fond of it.
You actually want a committment or you wouldn't allow him to do what he's doing, if he was just friend material he wouldn't be allowed to behave the way he has, stick it out but be honest with yourself about what you want b/c once thats decided you won't find that you will waste much more time on him if you truly need him to be more than he's wanting to be right now. Ask him were he sees your relationship going in 6 months.
remember friendship is vital to an Aquarius, he sounds like he's found his comfort zone with you but be honest with yourself inregards to if this is enough for you, it doesn't sound like it is and as someone stated we aren't getting any younger and some of us don't have years to give a guy, he's either going to buck and transition into b/f status or he needs to quite wasting your time.
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sorry for the typos...no time to check at work ugh!
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