AQUA•FISH
@pisceswoman123
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What the bloody hell is going on here ... Water Bearers ? (Page 2)
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Posted by justagirlPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by justagirl
Hmmm finished the rest. The saying single to another woman really bothers me and then the fight escalating to him asking for his key backs isn't sitting well at all. For me that would be enough to reevaluate everything and to question everything.
Aqua men are very different in certain areas than us females but one thing I have found that is fairly constant is sharing our emotions with others. To verbally express love is a huge leap and not many will just say it without meaning behind it. Hope that is clear.
At this point he sounds like a jackass that doesn't know his head from his ass and panicking. You gave and gave from what you have shared and he ate it all up. Now if you have the desire to continue, do not give so freely via actions but verbally tell him you do love him if that is the case. Sounds silly but that not being said might be an underling insecurity of his.
@justagirl, the fight and him completely undoing his words, almost had me think perhaps I was delusional but apparently as confirmed, I am not. You see why I was fuming, he even had the audacity to say I was being crazy and irrational for reacting the way I did. He said it was too much drama for him, and he knew I was the least dramatic of all the women he ever knew. However, I had my limits, that reached the boundaries of it, and blew a fuse. I was very angry, I had every right to. The way he reacted to my anger, when he was in the wrong, then to try to put the blame on me. That night, lets just say I barely slept, I felt like I did not know the man who was laying next to me. The mere touch of him, burned me. Yet that next morning, he tried so hard to reach out affectionately, in hopes to undo the damage, but the damage was done, I was extremely hurt. Yes, I am still reevaluating and questioning everything. I never forced him into being exclusive, he wanted it. Yet he knew, if he wanted other women, he could not have me. It would hurt too much, I would leave him.
However, he said he loves me, as early as a few weeks into knowing one another. That was the very first time, yet when he said it, every time afterwards when I refer back to it. He would be in denial, as if he never meant it. That is why despite hearing - "I love you." so many times from him, I am not quite sure if he is being comedic, having a bit of fun, or that he deeply sincerely means this. A part of why, I had not said it back to him yet but of course, I love him. Why would a woman do all this if she did not love the man ?
I figured, he was panicking, I am not pressuring him at the moment, in fact I have been pushing him forward to achieve his desire to leave. The more I take a step back now, the more he reacts out of hurt. The more he tells me of his plans to do this or that, after he leaves this city. The more I am supportive of it, the more he seems to despise me for being supportive of it. It almost feels as if he wants to tell me to hurt me, and keep me detached. Yet when he feels me detaching, he is afraid I will not care enough, leave him, and forget him. I mean, choose, you cannot have it both ways. Water Bearers are a fixed sign as I am, as a Stinger. It is either this, or that, there is not other choice.
Aquas cane be hypocrites and paradoxes at the same time. At least I know I can be. TBH, I don't know how others put up with our shit sometimes. I wish I could make suggests on how to help but I really do not know what to say other than what I have. I will say, words mean everything to this Aqua, perhaps he is similar? I am not action oriented in my love language. do you happen to know his merc? I will hope its not Cap like mine.click to expand
It is in Goat, like yours.
Posted by pisceswoman123
@TheLadyScorpio
That is typical Aquarius men. They don’t share so obviously he felt like you were important enough to ask for exclusivity.
But things have changed. He now wants to move away and he says that you two are not a couple. He is going backwards now.
Maybe he didn’t feel that you loved him enough or something else but right now I think he is not committed to you anymore. But at the same time he really cares for you and doesn’t want to hurt you.
He wanted to move away prior to even being exclusive, it was the very reason why I told him it may not be a wise idea for us to be together. It was why I did not trust him and was dragging my feet. He fought tooth and nail to prove to me that he was serious. Yet, he fought, saying, nothing is confirmed yet, that he wants a reason to stay. Not until, he has handed in his notice, booked his flight ticket etc. Even during, and after the argument he said the same, that everything may change. Yes, he wants to leave, but if given the opportunity for something good in this city, he will stay.
I no longer know, maybe I will try to speak with him again soon to see where his head is at.
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by pisceswoman123
@TheLadyScorpio
That is typical Aquarius men. They don’t share so obviously he felt like you were important enough to ask for exclusivity.
But things have changed. He now wants to move away and he says that you two are not a couple. He is going backwards now.
Maybe he didn’t feel that you loved him enough or something else but right now I think he is not committed to you anymore. But at the same time he really cares for you and doesn’t want to hurt you.
He wanted to move away prior to even being exclusive, it was the very reason why I told him it may not be a wise idea for us to be together. It was why I did not trust him and was dragging my feet. He fought tooth and nail to prove to me that he was serious. Yet, he fought, saying, nothing is confirmed yet, that he wants a reason to stay. Not until, he has handed in his notice, booked his flight ticket etc. Even during, and after the argument he said the same, that everything may change. Yes, he wants to leave, but if given the opportunity for something good in this city, he will stay.
I no longer know, maybe I will try to speak with him again soon to see where his head is at.click to expand
My response was based in what I got out of reading the whole thread but like I said it could mean that:
He may think that you are the one that is not committed to him and he is keeping his options open.
Either way I think the best approach to him is being very direct and honest and have a good one to one talk without argument to see where you both stand.
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by Jules-ll
You are such a sweet scorp 😭😭😭😭😭 but you know what they say, dont be wife material for a man who is not husband material for you yet. So maybe caring a lot for him is too soon. Let him work hard for it. Like for example cook for him if he takes you out for dinner one evening or if he volunteers to do the dishes. Keep pulling back a bit more (i am so dead with aqua men. I bet i will get comments that gems are manipulative. Im expecting it alright lol) and let him chase for your love and care. These men dunno what they got til she’s gone. Im not saying leave him! But more like give him space to realize your worth. That life is incomplete without you. That will make him come for you and really commit not just through words but also through his actions.
Spent (maybe wasted is a better word) four years with a scorp sun/aqua moon/cap mars. He never fully let me in until I grew tired of not being claimed. After I walked away he told me I was the only woman he had ever loved. So I'll agree with your comment about not knowing what they have until it's gone, and it's a shame really...
@TheLadyScorpio, trying to mesh with an air sign is difficult for water/water dominant signs. Do you love him/have passion for him? I'm not hearing either in what you have shared...
That was my dilemma recently with an aqua ex fling. Basically after I got in another relationship, it wad the only time he realized im definitely gone for good, that he is ready to commit and that he actually loves me. Hes been trying to win me back for a year now. Unfortunately, I dont plan on getting in an rs with him. The ship has sailed.click to expand
Good for you, leave it sailed! We have way too much to offer to accept scraps or half-assed promises. They only want us when we've moved on to someone else...
Posted by Antiochus
As absurd as it may seem at first glance but I think he moves away in order to become a man that deserves you.
The "I'm single" statement isn't okay but might be driven by potential pain he felt because you were already planning your life without him.
I was not planning my life without him, prior to his single comment. It was only after the argument, that I begun to plan again. How my life will be when he is gone, that is only rational and logical. He seems hurt that I did, but he kept speaking of leaving. Always asking for my opinion and comments in regards to his decision process. He never stops asking to see what I think. Every time, he does, it feels like a deeper stab into my heart.
Yes, he does have confidence issues and insecurities. He believes I am incredibly intelligent and beautiful, that he is not all that special, nor handsome. I have tried hard to inspire him, and have. Yet, perhaps he has doubts ? I do not know.
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Blackburn
"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"
Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.
I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.
I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.
Same here, time to step back and evaluate my relationship. Why do we as women mold and give, only to not expect just as much in return? I'm much stronger and smarter than this, but love screws my head up...
Love, a feeling we cannot control. The heart wants what the heart wants. However, at the end of the day Love is a choice, we could only hope others will make the same choices we do.
You are still with your Stinger Gent ?
Truer words have never been said. And that is the hardest part about relationships, to ensure that they aren't one-sided or lopsided.
I am, but last weekend he casually dropped into conversation that in a little over two years from now his plan is to move out of NY. Last night he told me he wants to leave his dog with me when he moves. So my dilemma is do I enjoy the next two years with him, or disengage myself now so I don't invest more time and feelings into something that will inevitably end? Rather torn up over this today, throwing myself into work to avoid thinking/feeling....
Just out of curiosity... why is he not asking you to move with him but instead leaving his dog with you? Coz I guess in a way, I can relate to your situation because my aqua has a chance to move overseas with his company for his career development. But we have decided that wherever he goes, I am willing to quit my job and join him. And he wont move if his company cannot get me the proper documentation so I can move with him. I think its definitely something to think aboit if you wanna spend the next 2 years staying with him or if you should start moving on soon... 😢click to expand
This is a conversation I need to have with him. He didn't mention that possibility when he told me. And my way of handling is to not react right away so I have time to process what was said. If he asked me to move with him, and things were still good in 2 years time I would strongly consider it. The fact that he didn't even put it out there as a possibility speaks volumes to me, without a word being said. Ugh.
Good for you, I wish the best to you! This one sounds like long-term potential 🤗
Posted by pisceswoman123Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by pisceswoman123
@TheLadyScorpio
That is typical Aquarius men. They don’t share so obviously he felt like you were important enough to ask for exclusivity.
But things have changed. He now wants to move away and he says that you two are not a couple. He is going backwards now.
Maybe he didn’t feel that you loved him enough or something else but right now I think he is not committed to you anymore. But at the same time he really cares for you and doesn’t want to hurt you.
He wanted to move away prior to even being exclusive, it was the very reason why I told him it may not be a wise idea for us to be together. It was why I did not trust him and was dragging my feet. He fought tooth and nail to prove to me that he was serious. Yet, he fought, saying, nothing is confirmed yet, that he wants a reason to stay. Not until, he has handed in his notice, booked his flight ticket etc. Even during, and after the argument he said the same, that everything may change. Yes, he wants to leave, but if given the opportunity for something good in this city, he will stay.
I no longer know, maybe I will try to speak with him again soon to see where his head is at.
My response was based in what I got out of reading the whole thread but like I said it could mean that:
He may think that you are the one that is not committed to him and he is keeping his options open.
Either way I think the best approach to him is being very direct and honest and have a good one to one talk without argument to see where you both stand.click to expand
We live together, we build our life together, our lives are intertwined. We discuss our careers, everything.
How is that not committed ?
We agreed not to keep our options open, to cut it all out. He proposed this actually, that we stop seeing other people, that we only choose one another. So we did. I never kept my options open, he knew this.
Yes, I will try to have a good one on one talk with him soon.
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by justagirlPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by justagirl
Hmmm finished the rest. The saying single to another woman really bothers me and then the fight escalating to him asking for his key backs isn't sitting well at all. For me that would be enough to reevaluate everything and to question everything.
Aqua men are very different in certain areas than us females but one thing I have found that is fairly constant is sharing our emotions with others. To verbally express love is a huge leap and not many will just say it without meaning behind it. Hope that is clear.
At this point he sounds like a jackass that doesn't know his head from his ass and panicking. You gave and gave from what you have shared and he ate it all up. Now if you have the desire to continue, do not give so freely via actions but verbally tell him you do love him if that is the case. Sounds silly but that not being said might be an underling insecurity of his.
@justagirl, the fight and him completely undoing his words, almost had me think perhaps I was delusional but apparently as confirmed, I am not. You see why I was fuming, he even had the audacity to say I was being crazy and irrational for reacting the way I did. He said it was too much drama for him, and he knew I was the least dramatic of all the women he ever knew. However, I had my limits, that reached the boundaries of it, and blew a fuse. I was very angry, I had every right to. The way he reacted to my anger, when he was in the wrong, then to try to put the blame on me. That night, lets just say I barely slept, I felt like I did not know the man who was laying next to me. The mere touch of him, burned me. Yet that next morning, he tried so hard to reach out affectionately, in hopes to undo the damage, but the damage was done, I was extremely hurt. Yes, I am still reevaluating and questioning everything. I never forced him into being exclusive, he wanted it. Yet he knew, if he wanted other women, he could not have me. It would hurt too much, I would leave him.
However, he said he loves me, as early as a few weeks into knowing one another. That was the very first time, yet when he said it, every time afterwards when I refer back to it. He would be in denial, as if he never meant it. That is why despite hearing - "I love you." so many times from him, I am not quite sure if he is being comedic, having a bit of fun, or that he deeply sincerely means this. A part of why, I had not said it back to him yet but of course, I love him. Why would a woman do all this if she did not love the man ?
I figured, he was panicking, I am not pressuring him at the moment, in fact I have been pushing him forward to achieve his desire to leave. The more I take a step back now, the more he reacts out of hurt. The more he tells me of his plans to do this or that, after he leaves this city. The more I am supportive of it, the more he seems to despise me for being supportive of it. It almost feels as if he wants to tell me to hurt me, and keep me detached. Yet when he feels me detaching, he is afraid I will not care enough, leave him, and forget him. I mean, choose, you cannot have it both ways. Water Bearers are a fixed sign as I am, as a Stinger. It is either this, or that, there is not other choice.
Aquas cane be hypocrites and paradoxes at the same time. At least I know I can be. TBH, I don't know how others put up with our shit sometimes. I wish I could make suggests on how to help but I really do not know what to say other than what I have. I will say, words mean everything to this Aqua, perhaps he is similar? I am not action oriented in my love language. do you happen to know his merc? I will hope its not Cap like mine.
Whats with Cap merc? My aqua has it. Hmmmmmm spillclick to expand
My Water Bearer has the same Mercury as well.
Posted by peachy06Posted by Aquarelle
You say you are hurt because of his decision to leave. Yet, towards him, you tell him you support him if he wants to leave. I can imagine this is confusing to him. It may even make him feel you don't care, because if you would, you would ask him not to go, right?
It seems you make a lot of assumptions instead of having an honest and open talk with him about how you really feel.
In the meantime he is changing his mind. It seems he is having doubts about you, about the relationship. Is there no way you can move together? Does him handing in his notice mean you have to be seperated?
That's a Scorpio thing tbh. We would never stop someone from leaving, especially if it's about their career. We're willing to support them from afar. Being far, doesn't mean they can't meet though.
I think they need to communicate better. To decide what they really want and need.click to expand
Perhaps, but I know long distance is something we both would not want. I have done it in the past, and it is an option he does not want to entertain. It will either be that he stays, or I move with him, or it ends by the time he leaves, if he truly does.
Hopefully, we will be able to have another discussion soon.
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by justagirlPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by justagirl
Hmmm finished the rest. The saying single to another woman really bothers me and then the fight escalating to him asking for his key backs isn't sitting well at all. For me that would be enough to reevaluate everything and to question everything.
Aqua men are very different in certain areas than us females but one thing I have found that is fairly constant is sharing our emotions with others. To verbally express love is a huge leap and not many will just say it without meaning behind it. Hope that is clear.
At this point he sounds like a jackass that doesn't know his head from his ass and panicking. You gave and gave from what you have shared and he ate it all up. Now if you have the desire to continue, do not give so freely via actions but verbally tell him you do love him if that is the case. Sounds silly but that not being said might be an underling insecurity of his.
@justagirl, the fight and him completely undoing his words, almost had me think perhaps I was delusional but apparently as confirmed, I am not. You see why I was fuming, he even had the audacity to say I was being crazy and irrational for reacting the way I did. He said it was too much drama for him, and he knew I was the least dramatic of all the women he ever knew. However, I had my limits, that reached the boundaries of it, and blew a fuse. I was very angry, I had every right to. The way he reacted to my anger, when he was in the wrong, then to try to put the blame on me. That night, lets just say I barely slept, I felt like I did not know the man who was laying next to me. The mere touch of him, burned me. Yet that next morning, he tried so hard to reach out affectionately, in hopes to undo the damage, but the damage was done, I was extremely hurt. Yes, I am still reevaluating and questioning everything. I never forced him into being exclusive, he wanted it. Yet he knew, if he wanted other women, he could not have me. It would hurt too much, I would leave him.
However, he said he loves me, as early as a few weeks into knowing one another. That was the very first time, yet when he said it, every time afterwards when I refer back to it. He would be in denial, as if he never meant it. That is why despite hearing - "I love you." so many times from him, I am not quite sure if he is being comedic, having a bit of fun, or that he deeply sincerely means this. A part of why, I had not said it back to him yet but of course, I love him. Why would a woman do all this if she did not love the man ?
I figured, he was panicking, I am not pressuring him at the moment, in fact I have been pushing him forward to achieve his desire to leave. The more I take a step back now, the more he reacts out of hurt. The more he tells me of his plans to do this or that, after he leaves this city. The more I am supportive of it, the more he seems to despise me for being supportive of it. It almost feels as if he wants to tell me to hurt me, and keep me detached. Yet when he feels me detaching, he is afraid I will not care enough, leave him, and forget him. I mean, choose, you cannot have it both ways. Water Bearers are a fixed sign as I am, as a Stinger. It is either this, or that, there is not other choice.
Aquas cane be hypocrites and paradoxes at the same time. At least I know I can be. TBH, I don't know how others put up with our shit sometimes. I wish I could make suggests on how to help but I really do not know what to say other than what I have. I will say, words mean everything to this Aqua, perhaps he is similar? I am not action oriented in my love language. do you happen to know his merc? I will hope its not Cap like mine.
Whats with Cap merc? My aqua has it. Hmmmmmm spill
My Water Bearer has the same Mercury as well.
Does he tend to be cold sometimes? Like not verbally expressive?click to expand
He is not particularly cold, but sometimes he could detach. He does not say half of what he truly feels, which is a problem because as good as I am in reading him, sometimes I cannot read everything. Unless put on the spot, or he becomes emotional, he does not speak enough.
If only, the lovely Water Bearer men of DXP could share their thoughts as well.
Is any one of them around these days ?
Is any one of them around these days ?
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by justagirlPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by justagirl
Hmmm finished the rest. The saying single to another woman really bothers me and then the fight escalating to him asking for his key backs isn't sitting well at all. For me that would be enough to reevaluate everything and to question everything.
Aqua men are very different in certain areas than us females but one thing I have found that is fairly constant is sharing our emotions with others. To verbally express love is a huge leap and not many will just say it without meaning behind it. Hope that is clear.
At this point he sounds like a jackass that doesn't know his head from his ass and panicking. You gave and gave from what you have shared and he ate it all up. Now if you have the desire to continue, do not give so freely via actions but verbally tell him you do love him if that is the case. Sounds silly but that not being said might be an underling insecurity of his.
@justagirl, the fight and him completely undoing his words, almost had me think perhaps I was delusional but apparently as confirmed, I am not. You see why I was fuming, he even had the audacity to say I was being crazy and irrational for reacting the way I did. He said it was too much drama for him, and he knew I was the least dramatic of all the women he ever knew. However, I had my limits, that reached the boundaries of it, and blew a fuse. I was very angry, I had every right to. The way he reacted to my anger, when he was in the wrong, then to try to put the blame on me. That night, lets just say I barely slept, I felt like I did not know the man who was laying next to me. The mere touch of him, burned me. Yet that next morning, he tried so hard to reach out affectionately, in hopes to undo the damage, but the damage was done, I was extremely hurt. Yes, I am still reevaluating and questioning everything. I never forced him into being exclusive, he wanted it. Yet he knew, if he wanted other women, he could not have me. It would hurt too much, I would leave him.
However, he said he loves me, as early as a few weeks into knowing one another. That was the very first time, yet when he said it, every time afterwards when I refer back to it. He would be in denial, as if he never meant it. That is why despite hearing - "I love you." so many times from him, I am not quite sure if he is being comedic, having a bit of fun, or that he deeply sincerely means this. A part of why, I had not said it back to him yet but of course, I love him. Why would a woman do all this if she did not love the man ?
I figured, he was panicking, I am not pressuring him at the moment, in fact I have been pushing him forward to achieve his desire to leave. The more I take a step back now, the more he reacts out of hurt. The more he tells me of his plans to do this or that, after he leaves this city. The more I am supportive of it, the more he seems to despise me for being supportive of it. It almost feels as if he wants to tell me to hurt me, and keep me detached. Yet when he feels me detaching, he is afraid I will not care enough, leave him, and forget him. I mean, choose, you cannot have it both ways. Water Bearers are a fixed sign as I am, as a Stinger. It is either this, or that, there is not other choice.
Aquas cane be hypocrites and paradoxes at the same time. At least I know I can be. TBH, I don't know how others put up with our shit sometimes. I wish I could make suggests on how to help but I really do not know what to say other than what I have. I will say, words mean everything to this Aqua, perhaps he is similar? I am not action oriented in my love language. do you happen to know his merc? I will hope its not Cap like mine.
Whats with Cap merc? My aqua has it. Hmmmmmm spill
My Water Bearer has the same Mercury as well.
Does he tend to be cold sometimes? Like not verbally expressive?
He is not particularly cold, but sometimes he could detach. He does not say half of what he truly feels, which is a problem because as good as I am in reading him, sometimes I cannot read everything. Unless put on the spot, or he becomes emotional, he does not speak enough.
Thank goodness I am not the only one experiencing that with Cap Merc. Aqua. Mine is the same. Sometimes it frustrates me coz it feels like i need to squeeze him for emotions. He doesnt talk about how he feels unless I’m upset with him. Most days hes just talking about basic stuff. Not so much about how he feels. Even about work. Only during the days when its really stressful, he would start to share. But most days he just likes to keep to himself.click to expand
Oh no, regarding his own life, and his work. He could complain for hours and days. That he never holds back on, he never gives me a break from it. Anything that goes bad in his life, or not to his liking, and he will unleash his dissatisfaction unto me. That he never lacks in sharing, but that could be the Italian in him as well.
Posted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Antiochus
As absurd as it may seem at first glance but I think he moves away in order to become a man that deserves you.
The "I'm single" statement isn't okay but might be driven by potential pain he felt because you were already planning your life without him.
I was not planning my life without him, prior to his single comment. It was only after the argument, that I begun to plan again. How my life will be when he is gone, that is only rational and logical. He seems hurt that I did, but he kept speaking of leaving. Always asking for my opinion and comments in regards to his decision process. He never stops asking to see what I think. Every time, he does, it feels like a deeper stab into my heart.
Yes, he does have confidence issues and insecurities. He believes I am incredibly intelligent and beautiful, that he is not all that special, nor handsome. I have tried hard to inspire him, and have. Yet, perhaps he has doubts ? I do not know.
It's possible that he is completly oblivious to that and to him it feels like you are "abandoning" him at this very first(?) test of durability. The reason he keeps talking about it might be because he wants to hear you say that you don't want him to leave. It sounds like he needs some reaffirmations until he feels worthy to be loved by you.
In his mind you might not care enough to be hurt by what he says and does until you have hammered that into his head.
Might be the classic Cap Venus thing that he has to slay a couple of dragons and accomplish things of great value before he even dares to approach his personal princess.click to expand
So then why in the heat of the argument, tell me to give him back his keys, and that I should leave. Why did he even entertain these other women, I know Water Bearer men have lots of acquaintances that do not mean much. That I understand, I have been with Water Bearer men in the past to understand this. I never kept him from his friends, or women, in general. As long as I know of his loyalty, and where he stands. I am not one to limit him.
The argument began partly because I am hurt he is leaving, he could sense I was pissed off at his constant talks of his plans, when he was going to hand in his notice etc. Yet he kept telling me he would leave but also kept saying it is not confirmed. These are only desires, and plans, until actions are taken, it is still only a possibility. Which is true, but when a man makes plan, is it not as good as done ?
He said no, because if he was offered a good enough opportunity or career path to stay, once he hands in his notice, he will take it, and stay. I was not abandoning him, is he not the one abandoning me now, in the way he constantly speaks of his plans to leave ?
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by Jules-llPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by Jules-ll
You are such a sweet scorp 😭😭😭😭😭 but you know what they say, dont be wife material for a man who is not husband material for you yet. So maybe caring a lot for him is too soon. Let him work hard for it. Like for example cook for him if he takes you out for dinner one evening or if he volunteers to do the dishes. Keep pulling back a bit more (i am so dead with aqua men. I bet i will get comments that gems are manipulative. Im expecting it alright lol) and let him chase for your love and care. These men dunno what they got til she’s gone. Im not saying leave him! But more like give him space to realize your worth. That life is incomplete without you. That will make him come for you and really commit not just through words but also through his actions.
Spent (maybe wasted is a better word) four years with a scorp sun/aqua moon/cap mars. He never fully let me in until I grew tired of not being claimed. After I walked away he told me I was the only woman he had ever loved. So I'll agree with your comment about not knowing what they have until it's gone, and it's a shame really...
@TheLadyScorpio, trying to mesh with an air sign is difficult for water/water dominant signs. Do you love him/have passion for him? I'm not hearing either in what you have shared...
That was my dilemma recently with an aqua ex fling. Basically after I got in another relationship, it wad the only time he realized im definitely gone for good, that he is ready to commit and that he actually loves me. Hes been trying to win me back for a year now. Unfortunately, I dont plan on getting in an rs with him. The ship has sailed.
Good for you, leave it sailed! We have way too much to offer to accept scraps or half-assed promises. They only want us when we've moved on to someone else...
Yes. And it sucks because it causes confusion when they reach out. But yes, definitely keeping it sailed. Unfortunately, I dont give second chances to men. Its either they know right from the start or they dont. Im so done giving all the time. They want us when we have moved on for various reasons but whatever reason it is, its prolly not worth the time anymore. Sad truth. Oh well. I hope you can clear up things too. Its draining yo constantly worry about relationships and the future of it. 😢click to expand
Cheers to no second chances, same here! Don't play the games with me, either you want me or you don't...it's quite simple.
Ironically, this scorp has an aqua moon like the other. You'd think I would learn to protect my heart better, but my libra moon gets involved every single time lol.
Posted by BlueMarshmallowPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by lisabethur8
"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "
why he say he is single if he's with you?
he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.
and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?
that part i dont like that he did that ...
some of these men, ugh.
so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.
because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.
until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.
although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.
although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...
i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.
let us know what's going on after this.
I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?
Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.
He is making my heart ache.
I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.
You have tons of patience, js.click to expand
I would too
Living with him, Lady? I thought you were still seeing an Aries guy? 🤔
Posted by peachy06Posted by BlueMarshmallowPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by BlueMarshmallowPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by lisabethur8
"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "
why he say he is single if he's with you?
he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.
and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?
that part i dont like that he did that ...
some of these men, ugh.
so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.
because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.
until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.
although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.
although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...
i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.
let us know what's going on after this.
I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?
Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.
He is making my heart ache.
I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.
You have tons of patience, js.
Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.
He's panicking.
I've seen this with scorp women and air sign men (mostly with my gem guy friends and an aqua guy friend).
This is how it goes from what I've seen.
Scorp women within a month gets attached or they go all in and work very hard which is a lot. Idk why but it doesn't surprise me anymore when I see scorp women do this esp with air sign men. What happens is air sign men do commit in their own way by spending time, sharing their world and also stay faithful to these ladies... but when things are "defined" as a relationshipe they panic. When things aren't defined, the guy is happy but the scorp women weren't happy and they threw tantrums and wanted to call it quits.
Imo, it works great if things were taken at a slower pace.
You know, I find this funny how you constantly speak for our sign, with so much ignorance. Scorpio don't get attached fast lmao. It takes quite an amount of time, because we don't trust others (even if we seem like we do, we don't). Even OP said she was reluctant at first and pushed him away, yet he would still fight for her. Basically, he got attached first, not her.
Nothing against you, but please, get your facts right.click to expand
Spot on @peachy06, I did not get attached fast. I kept fighting him on it, he got attached first and reacted out when I was still attached to the Ram Gent. Eventually, it came down to me choosing one man. He even said it on that day, when we chose to be exclusive and monogamous. That either I love him or the Ram Gent, he did not want to be in the middle. I still do not trust him entirely, he knows this, despite my caring deeply for him. Prior to my being attached, I kept pushing him to find the same with other women. He kept saying, despite dating others, and even sleeping with them. He could only keep comparing them to me, thinking always of me and only found me special.
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by justagirlPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by justagirl
Hmmm finished the rest. The saying single to another woman really bothers me and then the fight escalating to him asking for his key backs isn't sitting well at all. For me that would be enough to reevaluate everything and to question everything.
Aqua men are very different in certain areas than us females but one thing I have found that is fairly constant is sharing our emotions with others. To verbally express love is a huge leap and not many will just say it without meaning behind it. Hope that is clear.
At this point he sounds like a jackass that doesn't know his head from his ass and panicking. You gave and gave from what you have shared and he ate it all up. Now if you have the desire to continue, do not give so freely via actions but verbally tell him you do love him if that is the case. Sounds silly but that not being said might be an underling insecurity of his.
@justagirl, the fight and him completely undoing his words, almost had me think perhaps I was delusional but apparently as confirmed, I am not. You see why I was fuming, he even had the audacity to say I was being crazy and irrational for reacting the way I did. He said it was too much drama for him, and he knew I was the least dramatic of all the women he ever knew. However, I had my limits, that reached the boundaries of it, and blew a fuse. I was very angry, I had every right to. The way he reacted to my anger, when he was in the wrong, then to try to put the blame on me. That night, lets just say I barely slept, I felt like I did not know the man who was laying next to me. The mere touch of him, burned me. Yet that next morning, he tried so hard to reach out affectionately, in hopes to undo the damage, but the damage was done, I was extremely hurt. Yes, I am still reevaluating and questioning everything. I never forced him into being exclusive, he wanted it. Yet he knew, if he wanted other women, he could not have me. It would hurt too much, I would leave him.
However, he said he loves me, as early as a few weeks into knowing one another. That was the very first time, yet when he said it, every time afterwards when I refer back to it. He would be in denial, as if he never meant it. That is why despite hearing - "I love you." so many times from him, I am not quite sure if he is being comedic, having a bit of fun, or that he deeply sincerely means this. A part of why, I had not said it back to him yet but of course, I love him. Why would a woman do all this if she did not love the man ?
I figured, he was panicking, I am not pressuring him at the moment, in fact I have been pushing him forward to achieve his desire to leave. The more I take a step back now, the more he reacts out of hurt. The more he tells me of his plans to do this or that, after he leaves this city. The more I am supportive of it, the more he seems to despise me for being supportive of it. It almost feels as if he wants to tell me to hurt me, and keep me detached. Yet when he feels me detaching, he is afraid I will not care enough, leave him, and forget him. I mean, choose, you cannot have it both ways. Water Bearers are a fixed sign as I am, as a Stinger. It is either this, or that, there is not other choice.
Aquas cane be hypocrites and paradoxes at the same time. At least I know I can be. TBH, I don't know how others put up with our shit sometimes. I wish I could make suggests on how to help but I really do not know what to say other than what I have. I will say, words mean everything to this Aqua, perhaps he is similar? I am not action oriented in my love language. do you happen to know his merc? I will hope its not Cap like mine.
It is in Goat, like yours.click to expand
Well for me, words hold a ton and I mean a ton of weight, may not be the same for him. I mean what I say, so I choose words carefully, I have only told 2 people I have loved them outside of family. I also can be brutally blunt/harsh when upset. Its like a knife, I tend to regret it after ( this is getting better with age) but sometimes I am at a loss as how to fix it so I choose to move forward from it if I cant find a solution. No, its not fair to others sometimes, but the amount of misunderstandings I have had over miscommunications is up there, not sure if other cap mercs experience that as well.
Posted by BlueMarshmallowPosted by peachy06Posted by BlueMarshmallowPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by BlueMarshmallowPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by lisabethur8
"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "
why he say he is single if he's with you?
he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.
and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?
that part i dont like that he did that ...
some of these men, ugh.
so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.
because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.
until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.
although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.
although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...
i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.
let us know what's going on after this.
I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?
Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.
He is making my heart ache.
I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.
You have tons of patience, js.
Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.
He's panicking.
I've seen this with scorp women and air sign men (mostly with my gem guy friends and an aqua guy friend).
This is how it goes from what I've seen.
Scorp women within a month gets attached or they go all in and work very hard which is a lot. Idk why but it doesn't surprise me anymore when I see scorp women do this esp with air sign men. What happens is air sign men do commit in their own way by spending time, sharing their world and also stay faithful to these ladies... but when things are "defined" as a relationshipe they panic. When things aren't defined, the guy is happy but the scorp women weren't happy and they threw tantrums and wanted to call it quits.
Imo, it works great if things were taken at a slower pace.
You know, I find this funny how you constantly speak for our sign, with so much ignorance. Scorpio don't get attached fast lmao. It takes quite an amount of time, because we don't trust others (even if we seem like we do, we don't). Even OP said she was reluctant at first and pushed him away, yet he would still fight for her. Basically, he got attached first, not her.
Nothing against you, but please, get your facts right.
Take this scenario, you know you would be right if OP hadn't moved in way too soon with the Aqua and only recently she was interested in an Aries? No disrespect to TLS. Imo, she moved in too soon and did way too much for this Aqua.
Maybe it's your Sag moon that makes you take time in a relationship but I've seen this scenario play out irl.
click to expand
Well @BlueMarshmallow, whilst I was interested in the Ram Gent. He was also an unstable prospect, it was only wise of me to keep exploring. That exploration lead me to the Water Bearer. Ultimately, I was entertaining the idea of the Ram Gent whilst with the Water Bearer at the same time. The Water Bearer knew of all this. Although it came down to it, the Ram Gent, for a while chose another woman. He seemed serious enough entertaining her, so I moved on, made my choice, and chose the Water Bearer to invest in because he was fighting more so for me. On a side note, only recently did the Ram Gent admit to liking me, but ultimately he was not looking for a relationship at the moment and asked if we could remain friends, and if we still were so. It turned out the other woman, was nothing serious for him. So it may seemed like I jumped from one man to the other, but I was merely getting to know all my potential prospects.
Perhaps, I had moved in too soon but it happened organically, we both discussed it and wanted it. If two adults are consenting to it, why not ? However, I must say, I also keep my own home. I do not live with him every day of the week, I still take time away to go back to my own place. After all, I do love my own bed. So it is not as if, I gave up my entire autonomy.
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by justagirlPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by justagirl
Hmmm finished the rest. The saying single to another woman really bothers me and then the fight escalating to him asking for his key backs isn't sitting well at all. For me that would be enough to reevaluate everything and to question everything.
Aqua men are very different in certain areas than us females but one thing I have found that is fairly constant is sharing our emotions with others. To verbally express love is a huge leap and not many will just say it without meaning behind it. Hope that is clear.
At this point he sounds like a jackass that doesn't know his head from his ass and panicking. You gave and gave from what you have shared and he ate it all up. Now if you have the desire to continue, do not give so freely via actions but verbally tell him you do love him if that is the case. Sounds silly but that not being said might be an underling insecurity of his.
@justagirl, the fight and him completely undoing his words, almost had me think perhaps I was delusional but apparently as confirmed, I am not. You see why I was fuming, he even had the audacity to say I was being crazy and irrational for reacting the way I did. He said it was too much drama for him, and he knew I was the least dramatic of all the women he ever knew. However, I had my limits, that reached the boundaries of it, and blew a fuse. I was very angry, I had every right to. The way he reacted to my anger, when he was in the wrong, then to try to put the blame on me. That night, lets just say I barely slept, I felt like I did not know the man who was laying next to me. The mere touch of him, burned me. Yet that next morning, he tried so hard to reach out affectionately, in hopes to undo the damage, but the damage was done, I was extremely hurt. Yes, I am still reevaluating and questioning everything. I never forced him into being exclusive, he wanted it. Yet he knew, if he wanted other women, he could not have me. It would hurt too much, I would leave him.
However, he said he loves me, as early as a few weeks into knowing one another. That was the very first time, yet when he said it, every time afterwards when I refer back to it. He would be in denial, as if he never meant it. That is why despite hearing - "I love you." so many times from him, I am not quite sure if he is being comedic, having a bit of fun, or that he deeply sincerely means this. A part of why, I had not said it back to him yet but of course, I love him. Why would a woman do all this if she did not love the man ?
I figured, he was panicking, I am not pressuring him at the moment, in fact I have been pushing him forward to achieve his desire to leave. The more I take a step back now, the more he reacts out of hurt. The more he tells me of his plans to do this or that, after he leaves this city. The more I am supportive of it, the more he seems to despise me for being supportive of it. It almost feels as if he wants to tell me to hurt me, and keep me detached. Yet when he feels me detaching, he is afraid I will not care enough, leave him, and forget him. I mean, choose, you cannot have it both ways. Water Bearers are a fixed sign as I am, as a Stinger. It is either this, or that, there is not other choice.
Aquas cane be hypocrites and paradoxes at the same time. At least I know I can be. TBH, I don't know how others put up with our shit sometimes. I wish I could make suggests on how to help but I really do not know what to say other than what I have. I will say, words mean everything to this Aqua, perhaps he is similar? I am not action oriented in my love language. do you happen to know his merc? I will hope its not Cap like mine.
Whats with Cap merc? My aqua has it. Hmmmmmm spillclick to expand
With the Sun in Sagittarius or Aquarius, these people may come across as more hard-nosed, conservative, and practical than they actually are! The reason for this is that they process, and relay, information (Mercury) in a Capricorn way.
The style of communication with this position of Mercury is generally of the no-frills variety. Capricorn is a sign that hates waste and values time. They will generally be rather concise in their presentation, although they do take their time when they make plans–they consider it an investment in the future.
Many natives of Mercury in Capricorn choose their words carefully. They fear coming across as inept, so they may be a little stiff in presentation. Even those who seem quite smooth (and many of them do achieve this) will likely have fretted over their ability to communicate and their intellectual abilities.
https://cafeastrology.com/articles/mercuryinsigns_page2.html
Posted by exsqueezeme
Don’t do too much for him. He will start to pity you.
Pity me, why and how so ?
@exsqueezeme, I have not given up my autonomy for him, nor my own home, nor my career.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by BlueMarshmallowPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by lisabethur8
"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "
why he say he is single if he's with you?
he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.
and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?
that part i dont like that he did that ...
some of these men, ugh.
so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.
because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.
until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.
although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.
although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...
i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.
let us know what's going on after this.
I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?
Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.
He is making my heart ache.
I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.
You have tons of patience, js.
I would too
Living with him, Lady? I thought you were still seeing an Aries guy? 🤔click to expand
See my above post to BlueMarshmallow, I was entertaining him, the Ram Gent that is but it got too complicated. Out of the two potential men @MyStarsShine, I had to choose one. I took a week away from both, and because the Water Bearer was fighting more so for me, his actions spoke of more worth. I chose him.
Posted by Jules-llPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by Jules-llPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by Jules-ll
You are such a sweet scorp 😭😭😭😭😭 but you know what they say, dont be wife material for a man who is not husband material for you yet. So maybe caring a lot for him is too soon. Let him work hard for it. Like for example cook for him if he takes you out for dinner one evening or if he volunteers to do the dishes. Keep pulling back a bit more (i am so dead with aqua men. I bet i will get comments that gems are manipulative. Im expecting it alright lol) and let him chase for your love and care. These men dunno what they got til she’s gone. Im not saying leave him! But more like give him space to realize your worth. That life is incomplete without you. That will make him come for you and really commit not just through words but also through his actions.
Spent (maybe wasted is a better word) four years with a scorp sun/aqua moon/cap mars. He never fully let me in until I grew tired of not being claimed. After I walked away he told me I was the only woman he had ever loved. So I'll agree with your comment about not knowing what they have until it's gone, and it's a shame really...
@TheLadyScorpio, trying to mesh with an air sign is difficult for water/water dominant signs. Do you love him/have passion for him? I'm not hearing either in what you have shared...
That was my dilemma recently with an aqua ex fling. Basically after I got in another relationship, it wad the only time he realized im definitely gone for good, that he is ready to commit and that he actually loves me. Hes been trying to win me back for a year now. Unfortunately, I dont plan on getting in an rs with him. The ship has sailed.
Good for you, leave it sailed! We have way too much to offer to accept scraps or half-assed promises. They only want us when we've moved on to someone else...
Yes. And it sucks because it causes confusion when they reach out. But yes, definitely keeping it sailed. Unfortunately, I dont give second chances to men. Its either they know right from the start or they dont. Im so done giving all the time. They want us when we have moved on for various reasons but whatever reason it is, its prolly not worth the time anymore. Sad truth. Oh well. I hope you can clear up things too. Its draining yo constantly worry about relationships and the future of it. 😢
Cheers to no second chances, same here! Don't play the games with me, either you want me or you don't...it's quite simple.
Ironically, this scorp has an aqua moon like the other. You'd think I would learn to protect my heart better, but my libra moon gets involved every single time lol.click to expand
Libran Moons, so very detached and logical yet when it comes to people, relationships, or love. They always fall for it, not that your moon is of any disadvantage. It is a beautiful moon to witness in action, especially in social settings. Embrace it, it is not your fault that you feel what you feel. However, do put your own heart and self respect in the forefront before others at times.
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by pisceswoman123Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by pisceswoman123
@TheLadyScorpio
That is typical Aquarius men. They don’t share so obviously he felt like you were important enough to ask for exclusivity.
But things have changed. He now wants to move away and he says that you two are not a couple. He is going backwards now.
Maybe he didn’t feel that you loved him enough or something else but right now I think he is not committed to you anymore. But at the same time he really cares for you and doesn’t want to hurt you.
He wanted to move away prior to even being exclusive, it was the very reason why I told him it may not be a wise idea for us to be together. It was why I did not trust him and was dragging my feet. He fought tooth and nail to prove to me that he was serious. Yet, he fought, saying, nothing is confirmed yet, that he wants a reason to stay. Not until, he has handed in his notice, booked his flight ticket etc. Even during, and after the argument he said the same, that everything may change. Yes, he wants to leave, but if given the opportunity for something good in this city, he will stay.
I no longer know, maybe I will try to speak with him again soon to see where his head is at.
My response was based in what I got out of reading the whole thread but like I said it could mean that:
He may think that you are the one that is not committed to him and he is keeping his options open.
Either way I think the best approach to him is being very direct and honest and have a good one to one talk without argument to see where you both stand.
We live together, we build our life together, our lives are intertwined. We discuss our careers, everything.
How is that not committed ?
We agreed not to keep our options open, to cut it all out. He proposed this actually, that we stop seeing other people, that we only choose one another. So we did. I never kept my options open, he knew this.
Yes, I will try to have a good one on one talk with him soon.click to expand
How long have you been together and living together?
Posted by pisceswoman123Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by pisceswoman123Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by pisceswoman123
@TheLadyScorpio
That is typical Aquarius men. They don’t share so obviously he felt like you were important enough to ask for exclusivity.
But things have changed. He now wants to move away and he says that you two are not a couple. He is going backwards now.
Maybe he didn’t feel that you loved him enough or something else but right now I think he is not committed to you anymore. But at the same time he really cares for you and doesn’t want to hurt you.
He wanted to move away prior to even being exclusive, it was the very reason why I told him it may not be a wise idea for us to be together. It was why I did not trust him and was dragging my feet. He fought tooth and nail to prove to me that he was serious. Yet, he fought, saying, nothing is confirmed yet, that he wants a reason to stay. Not until, he has handed in his notice, booked his flight ticket etc. Even during, and after the argument he said the same, that everything may change. Yes, he wants to leave, but if given the opportunity for something good in this city, he will stay.
I no longer know, maybe I will try to speak with him again soon to see where his head is at.
My response was based in what I got out of reading the whole thread but like I said it could mean that:
He may think that you are the one that is not committed to him and he is keeping his options open.
Either way I think the best approach to him is being very direct and honest and have a good one to one talk without argument to see where you both stand.
We live together, we build our life together, our lives are intertwined. We discuss our careers, everything.
How is that not committed ?
We agreed not to keep our options open, to cut it all out. He proposed this actually, that we stop seeing other people, that we only choose one another. So we did. I never kept my options open, he knew this.
Yes, I will try to have a good one on one talk with him soon.
How long have you been together and living together?click to expand
I asked if they were living together but didn't see a reply?
It feels so complicated lol....
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Hello there dear Water Bearers,
So I am currently in a situation with a Water Bearer, his chart is as follows -
Water Bearer Sun
Merman Moon (though possible Ram Moon)
Goat Mercury
Goat Venus
Goat Mars
After a rough start, misunderstandings, denial of our feelings for each other, mixed signals, and hurting one another. Before we were together, he fought to be the man I chose to be with, he wanted me to be his. He compared me to all the other women he was with and said I was always the one that was going to be different, special, and he could not bare to lose me. He could forgo everyone but not me, as I was his closest friend. He always tried to figure out whether or not, I missed him when he was gone, whether or not I liked him, and if I so much as liked other men, he despised it though he tried to remain nonchalant. We finally ended up in a situation where we are now practically living together. Granted, of all the women he have had relationships with prior, he had never lived with one. Nobody has ever shared his home. He was adamant to gain my trust, and to change my mind about men / commitment / love. We both decided to be exclusive to one another, monogamous. Yet regarding commitment, I had to ask him one day what to call us when others asked what we are. He said I could call it whatever I like, so I said I would like to be called his SO. He agreed to it, thereby I thought he meant he agreed we were a couple. After all, he was perfectly fine knowing the public knew us as so. In fact, he himself referred to himself as my SO, more than once.
In order to prove the depth of how serious he was, he gave me the keys to his home. Which no woman has had before. This was all new to him. It was easy living together, on top of my professional career, I also made his home more like a home for once. I do the cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc. Strangely enough, all of which none of his SO ever did for him, nor could do in fact, such as cooking. They did not know how. He often asked me to make specific dishes for him, and was exceedingly happy when I did. He was constantly fascinated, surprised, and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well. Why you ask would I do all that for a man ? Simply because I know of his professional ambitions, and his career rise has been draining him. It is my way of best supporting him, to make his life easier, so he could focus on it. He loves my cooking, mostly because no woman has ever taken care of him this way before. It was always him doing most of the work, prior. These are his words, not my own.
However, since having gotten to know me. He said I inspired him to want to be a better man, the best man he could be in terms of his success. Which meant, he now has a desire to move to a different city in about eight months time to further it. Yet, before we decided to be exclusive to one another. I kept giving him an out, told him he will be leaving soon. There would be no point to gain my trust, to invest, to work so hard on choosing one another if it would be all for not. He remained stubborn, adamant, that he will not hand in his notice for many more months still. That I may be the woman he has always been looking for, for marriage, to build a family, etc. I told him not to give me false hope, if he wishes to leave, I will support it, I never stopped a man from pursuing his dreams. I am not that type of woman.
He did everything to convince me that, he truly is looking for a reason to stay. Prior to me, he thought he would stay in this city for many more years. Now, suddenly he has decided he will be certain he will hand in his notice in four months time. However, he still tells me no action has been taken. Nothing is for certain, even though on a daily basis, he speaks as if he is leaving for sure. It hurts. When I support him, encouraging him to leave, telling him of my plans after he is gone. He is extremely hurt. So he wants me to remain attached but detached, he wants to be able to speak as if he is leaving. Yet when I support it entirely, he does not want me to speak as if I am expecting him to exit my life.
Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was.
So which is it, is this some kind of test ?
We are building a life together, yet somehow we are not. Living the life of two people together, yet somehow I have no say because suddenly I am not a SO. One minute he is extremely loving in all his actions, then next he is distant in his words. We are more than all of his past relationships combined, yet he reduces it to less than all that now in title. He loves me, is afraid to let me go, yet in anger during an argument once he told me to leave (I stayed, he seemed glad that I did). I inspire him one minute, the next he is worried that I might distract him. All I have done have been to be me, and ask for honesty on his side. I have made his life much easier, he knows it, yet at the same time in anger sometimes he throws it at me, that he could live alone, and have had for a very long time. That cut me to the core, I never doubted the fact that he could care for himself, I have cared for myself for a very long time as well. Yet, to shove that in my face, when he knew how much I did for him. He was the one to chase after a relationship, saying he was looking for love, the right woman, to build a family. He was the one to bring all that up before, to declare that he loves me. He said it so many a times now, and I have yet to say it still. We were living a life of two people together, and still are. He pulls me up close, and then shoves me away.
What the bloody hell is going on ?
I still am in a similar(kinda) situation with an Aqua rn - it was all good for a month unless he started to talk about these women he found attractive (like he's a fucboi or what??) and was constantly whining about his problems ("ooh, you won't understand it" - yet he didn't bother to explain anything).
I have yet to brush this topics in a conversation where I tell him I'm not willing to meet him. I really don't have time for this bs.
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by justagirlPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by justagirl
Hmmm finished the rest. The saying single to another woman really bothers me and then the fight escalating to him asking for his key backs isn't sitting well at all. For me that would be enough to reevaluate everything and to question everything.
Aqua men are very different in certain areas than us females but one thing I have found that is fairly constant is sharing our emotions with others. To verbally express love is a huge leap and not many will just say it without meaning behind it. Hope that is clear.
At this point he sounds like a jackass that doesn't know his head from his ass and panicking. You gave and gave from what you have shared and he ate it all up. Now if you have the desire to continue, do not give so freely via actions but verbally tell him you do love him if that is the case. Sounds silly but that not being said might be an underling insecurity of his.
@justagirl, the fight and him completely undoing his words, almost had me think perhaps I was delusional but apparently as confirmed, I am not. You see why I was fuming, he even had the audacity to say I was being crazy and irrational for reacting the way I did. He said it was too much drama for him, and he knew I was the least dramatic of all the women he ever knew. However, I had my limits, that reached the boundaries of it, and blew a fuse. I was very angry, I had every right to. The way he reacted to my anger, when he was in the wrong, then to try to put the blame on me. That night, lets just say I barely slept, I felt like I did not know the man who was laying next to me. The mere touch of him, burned me. Yet that next morning, he tried so hard to reach out affectionately, in hopes to undo the damage, but the damage was done, I was extremely hurt. Yes, I am still reevaluating and questioning everything. I never forced him into being exclusive, he wanted it. Yet he knew, if he wanted other women, he could not have me. It would hurt too much, I would leave him.
However, he said he loves me, as early as a few weeks into knowing one another. That was the very first time, yet when he said it, every time afterwards when I refer back to it. He would be in denial, as if he never meant it. That is why despite hearing - "I love you." so many times from him, I am not quite sure if he is being comedic, having a bit of fun, or that he deeply sincerely means this. A part of why, I had not said it back to him yet but of course, I love him. Why would a woman do all this if she did not love the man ?
I figured, he was panicking, I am not pressuring him at the moment, in fact I have been pushing him forward to achieve his desire to leave. The more I take a step back now, the more he reacts out of hurt. The more he tells me of his plans to do this or that, after he leaves this city. The more I am supportive of it, the more he seems to despise me for being supportive of it. It almost feels as if he wants to tell me to hurt me, and keep me detached. Yet when he feels me detaching, he is afraid I will not care enough, leave him, and forget him. I mean, choose, you cannot have it both ways. Water Bearers are a fixed sign as I am, as a Stinger. It is either this, or that, there is not other choice.
Aquas cane be hypocrites and paradoxes at the same time. At least I know I can be. TBH, I don't know how others put up with our shit sometimes. I wish I could make suggests on how to help but I really do not know what to say other than what I have. I will say, words mean everything to this Aqua, perhaps he is similar? I am not action oriented in my love language. do you happen to know his merc? I will hope its not Cap like mine.
Whats with Cap merc? My aqua has it. Hmmmmmm spill
My Water Bearer has the same Mercury as well.
Does he tend to be cold sometimes? Like not verbally expressive?
He is not particularly cold, but sometimes he could detach. He does not say half of what he truly feels, which is a problem because as good as I am in reading him, sometimes I cannot read everything. Unless put on the spot, or he becomes emotional, he does not speak enough.
Thank goodness I am not the only one experiencing that with Cap Merc. Aqua. Mine is the same. Sometimes it frustrates me coz it feels like i need to squeeze him for emotions. He doesnt talk about how he feels unless I’m upset with him. Most days hes just talking about basic stuff. Not so much about how he feels. Even about work. Only during the days when its really stressful, he would start to share. But most days he just likes to keep to himself.
Oh no, regarding his own life, and his work. He could complain for hours and days. That he never holds back on, he never gives me a break from it. Anything that goes bad in his life, or not to his liking, and he will unleash his dissatisfaction unto me. That he never lacks in sharing, but that could be the Italian in him as well.
Hahhaa yes! Italian men are comfortable in expressing discontent about something 😂 and will express it using their hands too. Omg. Hey my aqua is half Italian hahahaha but he wasnt raised in an Italian household 😂 my aqua barely shares about those as he said he is an only child and used to dealing with things on his own. He just started talking more recently. Hes a very shy personclick to expand
Hah @ASCoppVenus, strangely enough I express myself more so with my hands more than he does. In that sense, I am more Italian than he is. My Water Bearer, if I could call him so, is the younger brother of two siblings. However, with all that Goat in him, he has always been used to taking care of himself. For an Italian, he was already different. He chose early on, to leave his family home, to live around the world and grow his career. Though yes, like yours, he is rather shy. He told me it comes from insecurity, and a lack of confidence. Out of the two of us, I am the social one. Therefore, for networking purposes, we usually go together so I am the social lubricant for his endeavours. A skill he lacks, which I am rather good at.
Is your Water Bearer shy, due to a personality trait or for some other reason ? Is he shy in all settings ?
Posted by MissKrabsPosted by TheLadyScorpio
Hello there dear Water Bearers,
So I am currently in a situation with a Water Bearer, his chart is as follows -
Water Bearer Sun
Merman Moon (though possible Ram Moon)
Goat Mercury
Goat Venus
Goat Mars
After a rough start, misunderstandings, denial of our feelings for each other, mixed signals, and hurting one another. Before we were together, he fought to be the man I chose to be with, he wanted me to be his. He compared me to all the other women he was with and said I was always the one that was going to be different, special, and he could not bare to lose me. He could forgo everyone but not me, as I was his closest friend. He always tried to figure out whether or not, I missed him when he was gone, whether or not I liked him, and if I so much as liked other men, he despised it though he tried to remain nonchalant. We finally ended up in a situation where we are now practically living together. Granted, of all the women he have had relationships with prior, he had never lived with one. Nobody has ever shared his home. He was adamant to gain my trust, and to change my mind about men / commitment / love. We both decided to be exclusive to one another, monogamous. Yet regarding commitment, I had to ask him one day what to call us when others asked what we are. He said I could call it whatever I like, so I said I would like to be called his SO. He agreed to it, thereby I thought he meant he agreed we were a couple. After all, he was perfectly fine knowing the public knew us as so. In fact, he himself referred to himself as my SO, more than once.
In order to prove the depth of how serious he was, he gave me the keys to his home. Which no woman has had before. This was all new to him. It was easy living together, on top of my professional career, I also made his home more like a home for once. I do the cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc. Strangely enough, all of which none of his SO ever did for him, nor could do in fact, such as cooking. They did not know how. He often asked me to make specific dishes for him, and was exceedingly happy when I did. He was constantly fascinated, surprised, and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well. Why you ask would I do all that for a man ? Simply because I know of his professional ambitions, and his career rise has been draining him. It is my way of best supporting him, to make his life easier, so he could focus on it. He loves my cooking, mostly because no woman has ever taken care of him this way before. It was always him doing most of the work, prior. These are his words, not my own.
However, since having gotten to know me. He said I inspired him to want to be a better man, the best man he could be in terms of his success. Which meant, he now has a desire to move to a different city in about eight months time to further it. Yet, before we decided to be exclusive to one another. I kept giving him an out, told him he will be leaving soon. There would be no point to gain my trust, to invest, to work so hard on choosing one another if it would be all for not. He remained stubborn, adamant, that he will not hand in his notice for many more months still. That I may be the woman he has always been looking for, for marriage, to build a family, etc. I told him not to give me false hope, if he wishes to leave, I will support it, I never stopped a man from pursuing his dreams. I am not that type of woman.
He did everything to convince me that, he truly is looking for a reason to stay. Prior to me, he thought he would stay in this city for many more years. Now, suddenly he has decided he will be certain he will hand in his notice in four months time. However, he still tells me no action has been taken. Nothing is for certain, even though on a daily basis, he speaks as if he is leaving for sure. It hurts. When I support him, encouraging him to leave, telling him of my plans after he is gone. He is extremely hurt. So he wants me to remain attached but detached, he wants to be able to speak as if he is leaving. Yet when I support it entirely, he does not want me to speak as if I am expecting him to exit my life.
Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was.
So which is it, is this some kind of test ?
We are building a life together, yet somehow we are not. Living the life of two people together, yet somehow I have no say because suddenly I am not a SO. One minute he is extremely loving in all his actions, then next he is distant in his words. We are more than all of his past relationships combined, yet he reduces it to less than all that now in title. He loves me, is afraid to let me go, yet in anger during an argument once he told me to leave (I stayed, he seemed glad that I did). I inspire him one minute, the next he is worried that I might distract him. All I have done have been to be me, and ask for honesty on his side. I have made his life much easier, he knows it, yet at the same time in anger sometimes he throws it at me, that he could live alone, and have had for a very long time. That cut me to the core, I never doubted the fact that he could care for himself, I have cared for myself for a very long time as well. Yet, to shove that in my face, when he knew how much I did for him. He was the one to chase after a relationship, saying he was looking for love, the right woman, to build a family. He was the one to bring all that up before, to declare that he loves me. He said it so many a times now, and I have yet to say it still. We were living a life of two people together, and still are. He pulls me up close, and then shoves me away.
What the bloody hell is going on ?
i love when someone writes in paragraphs.
what the hell happened with i like you, you like me, and lets figure things as they come?
why is moving to a diff city an end for you? people do that all the time, and if there's a will, and patience people, somehow solve it.
you sound like you are not intimate at all. like you are both not saying what's on your minds. and yet there is love, some form of it.click to expand
Well @MissKrabs, I am glad to hear that you enjoyed seeing them paragraphs.
The issue with that concept is, we are both planners. In the sense, that we like to be in control or as much as we could of how our pathways proceed. We both tried to go about it as a "let us figure things as they come'' but I suppose we both panic at the uncertainty that holds. We like envisioning out life in terms of concrete, destinations, and goals. Though for I, I am more prone to be more flexible in this regard as I know life is always full of unexpected twist and turns. Him, less so.
Moving to a different city is not necessarily an end, except where he is moving to, that city is in a different country. Unless if I am certain and solid about what we have, I will not uproot my entire career to a different country. That would require a lot of planning, in order to make it feasible for me to move, a lot of research would need to go into it. I know the language, of this country, but not of a fluent level either. That in itself, is another issue. However, for the right commitment, and man, I am willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. He knows this, but is he that man ? I have yet to know that, I may be in love but I am not delusional either.
What do you mean we are not intimate ? Not intimate, or not open / transparent enough with each other ?
Posted by peachy06Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by peachy06Posted by Aquarelle
You say you are hurt because of his decision to leave. Yet, towards him, you tell him you support him if he wants to leave. I can imagine this is confusing to him. It may even make him feel you don't care, because if you would, you would ask him not to go, right?
It seems you make a lot of assumptions instead of having an honest and open talk with him about how you really feel.
In the meantime he is changing his mind. It seems he is having doubts about you, about the relationship. Is there no way you can move together? Does him handing in his notice mean you have to be seperated?
That's a Scorpio thing tbh. We would never stop someone from leaving, especially if it's about their career. We're willing to support them from afar. Being far, doesn't mean they can't meet though.
I think they need to communicate better. To decide what they really want and need.
Perhaps, but I know long distance is something we both would not want. I have done it in the past, and it is an option he does not want to entertain. It will either be that he stays, or I move with him, or it ends by the time he leaves, if he truly does.
Hopefully, we will be able to have another discussion soon.
I really don't understand you. Why do you keep doing things according to him ? You can't sacrifice so much for a man. You're giving him the upper hand, right now. I say, be careful, or he's going to take you for granted.click to expand
I do not, not exactly anyways @peachy06 but I write like so because my perspective is already evident therefore I write more about him in my posts. Also because he already knows how I envision my future, my own further career ambitions, and what I want. It is not as if he does not already know. You are correct though, he does have a slight upper hand right now, but he is also aware if need be. I will revert back to my old ways, I have lived and survived on my own for a very long time. With or without him, my life will go on, even though it would hurt immensely and not be something I would ultimately want given the choice.
I could be very selfless but as a fellow Stinger, you know how we could easily also die and be reborn. I could easily use my own resilient strength to become selfish as well, in my own desires. We could give you the world, but we could just as well pull the rug from underneath you. You know how we are. Though your concern, that he may take me for granted, is something that is on my mind as well. It is something I have been mulling over, ever since the argument.
Posted by peachy06Posted by BlueMarshmallowPosted by peachy06Posted by BlueMarshmallowPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by BlueMarshmallowPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by lisabethur8
"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "
why he say he is single if he's with you?
he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.
and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?
that part i dont like that he did that ...
some of these men, ugh.
so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.
because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.
until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.
although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.
although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...
i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.
let us know what's going on after this.
I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?
Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.
He is making my heart ache.
I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.
You have tons of patience, js.
Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.
He's panicking.
I've seen this with scorp women and air sign men (mostly with my gem guy friends and an aqua guy friend).
This is how it goes from what I've seen.
Scorp women within a month gets attached or they go all in and work very hard which is a lot. Idk why but it doesn't surprise me anymore when I see scorp women do this esp with air sign men. What happens is air sign men do commit in their own way by spending time, sharing their world and also stay faithful to these ladies... but when things are "defined" as a relationshipe they panic. When things aren't defined, the guy is happy but the scorp women weren't happy and they threw tantrums and wanted to call it quits.
Imo, it works great if things were taken at a slower pace.
You know, I find this funny how you constantly speak for our sign, with so much ignorance. Scorpio don't get attached fast lmao. It takes quite an amount of time, because we don't trust others (even if we seem like we do, we don't). Even OP said she was reluctant at first and pushed him away, yet he would still fight for her. Basically, he got attached first, not her.
Nothing against you, but please, get your facts right.
Take this scenario, you know you would be right if OP hadn't moved in way too soon with the Aqua and only recently she was interested in an Aries? No disrespect to TLS. Imo, she moved in too soon and did way too much for this Aqua.
Maybe it's your Sag moon that makes you take time in a relationship but I've seen this scenario play out irl.
I didn't say she didn't, i'm just saying you tend to make some weird assumptions about us. It's not the first time I read something like that from you either. Also read better next time, because she said he kept insisting even though she wasn't 100% into it at first, since she couldn't trust him. Also he gave her the keys of his home first.
But okay, you can defend defend your element I guess.
No, it's not my Sag moon. I just know my sign. 🙄click to expand
Yes, I still do not trust him entirely so. He knows this, I told him, with some of the things he has done in the past that trust needs to be built over time. He was the one committed, to making it work, to gain that trust. He was adamant to. I never asked or begged for the keys to his home, he gave it to me of his own will. In fact, he was the one to tell me to leave things behind at his place initially. Then he told me to bring things over, and freed up space at his home for my belongings. Eventually, he gave me the keys.
He told me he was trusting me with everything, everything he has is in his home. There was no hiding. One thing I believe every has mistaken is, though we are practically living together. I still have my own place, my own home. Most of my belongings are still there, at any time, I could go back to my place. Though now I mostly remain at his, that is out of choice. Also because we have gotten used to sleeping together, it feels awkward when we do not.
Posted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Antiochus
As absurd as it may seem at first glance but I think he moves away in order to become a man that deserves you.
The "I'm single" statement isn't okay but might be driven by potential pain he felt because you were already planning your life without him.
I was not planning my life without him, prior to his single comment. It was only after the argument, that I begun to plan again. How my life will be when he is gone, that is only rational and logical. He seems hurt that I did, but he kept speaking of leaving. Always asking for my opinion and comments in regards to his decision process. He never stops asking to see what I think. Every time, he does, it feels like a deeper stab into my heart.
Yes, he does have confidence issues and insecurities. He believes I am incredibly intelligent and beautiful, that he is not all that special, nor handsome. I have tried hard to inspire him, and have. Yet, perhaps he has doubts ? I do not know.
It's possible that he is completly oblivious to that and to him it feels like you are "abandoning" him at this very first(?) test of durability. The reason he keeps talking about it might be because he wants to hear you say that you don't want him to leave. It sounds like he needs some reaffirmations until he feels worthy to be loved by you.
In his mind you might not care enough to be hurt by what he says and does until you have hammered that into his head.
Might be the classic Cap Venus thing that he has to slay a couple of dragons and accomplish things of great value before he even dares to approach his personal princess.
So then why in the heat of the argument, tell me to give him back his keys, and that I should leave. Why did he even entertain these other women, I know Water Bearer men have lots of acquaintances that do not mean much. That I understand, I have been with Water Bearer men in the past to understand this. I never kept him from his friends, or women, in general. As long as I know of his loyalty, and where he stands. I am not one to limit him.
The argument began partly because I am hurt he is leaving, he could sense I was pissed off at his constant talks of his plans, when he was going to hand in his notice etc. Yet he kept telling me he would leave but also kept saying it is not confirmed. These are only desires, and plans, until actions are taken, it is still only a possibility. Which is true, but when a man makes plan, is it not as good as done ?
He said no, because if he was offered a good enough opportunity or career path to stay, once he hands in his notice, he will take it, and stay. I was not abandoning him, is he not the one abandoning me now, in the way he constantly speaks of his plans to leave ?
I think he secretly wants to plan things together with you but might not be aware of it or very unsure about being open with it.
You are right feeling that he is abandoning you but the fact that you don't fight for this, in his eyes at least, might be interpreted as a prrof that you don't really want him or that you have no desire to run the risk of a LDR with him.
It's not rational or fair towards you but that's how emotions are unfortunately.click to expand
Well there you go, the problem with secretly wanting to plan anything is, when one person is kept in the dark, misunderstandings will occur. As much as I know him, and able to read him, there is only so much that goes, his mind is still his. Until he shares or communicates, it would not help either of us.
Would you say all this is contributed by his Goat placements, as I see you have quite a few yourself as well ?
Long distance, has always been something we both do not want. This was always discussed.
Just recently, he held me and suddenly apologised. Thanking me, saying that he knows I support him a lot, and without my support, he would not have been able to continue as he is now, or be motivated to. That my support means a lot to him, and he is more than aware of everything I do, even though he speaks little of it. Since that was one of the things, that was brought up in the argument. I did so much for him, not because I have to, but because I wanted to, and because I cared for him. He knows I do not have to do it, but I chose to. Perhaps this was his way of saying, thank you for fighting to stay despite all the still not appropriate things he did, which instigated the argument, and all the painful things he said during the argument as well. He knows full well, I could have walked, and he has seen me walk out, cutting off people before.
Was this all a test ?
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by justagirlPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by justagirl
Hmmm finished the rest. The saying single to another woman really bothers me and then the fight escalating to him asking for his key backs isn't sitting well at all. For me that would be enough to reevaluate everything and to question everything.
Aqua men are very different in certain areas than us females but one thing I have found that is fairly constant is sharing our emotions with others. To verbally express love is a huge leap and not many will just say it without meaning behind it. Hope that is clear.
At this point he sounds like a jackass that doesn't know his head from his ass and panicking. You gave and gave from what you have shared and he ate it all up. Now if you have the desire to continue, do not give so freely via actions but verbally tell him you do love him if that is the case. Sounds silly but that not being said might be an underling insecurity of his.
@justagirl, the fight and him completely undoing his words, almost had me think perhaps I was delusional but apparently as confirmed, I am not. You see why I was fuming, he even had the audacity to say I was being crazy and irrational for reacting the way I did. He said it was too much drama for him, and he knew I was the least dramatic of all the women he ever knew. However, I had my limits, that reached the boundaries of it, and blew a fuse. I was very angry, I had every right to. The way he reacted to my anger, when he was in the wrong, then to try to put the blame on me. That night, lets just say I barely slept, I felt like I did not know the man who was laying next to me. The mere touch of him, burned me. Yet that next morning, he tried so hard to reach out affectionately, in hopes to undo the damage, but the damage was done, I was extremely hurt. Yes, I am still reevaluating and questioning everything. I never forced him into being exclusive, he wanted it. Yet he knew, if he wanted other women, he could not have me. It would hurt too much, I would leave him.
However, he said he loves me, as early as a few weeks into knowing one another. That was the very first time, yet when he said it, every time afterwards when I refer back to it. He would be in denial, as if he never meant it. That is why despite hearing - "I love you." so many times from him, I am not quite sure if he is being comedic, having a bit of fun, or that he deeply sincerely means this. A part of why, I had not said it back to him yet but of course, I love him. Why would a woman do all this if she did not love the man ?
I figured, he was panicking, I am not pressuring him at the moment, in fact I have been pushing him forward to achieve his desire to leave. The more I take a step back now, the more he reacts out of hurt. The more he tells me of his plans to do this or that, after he leaves this city. The more I am supportive of it, the more he seems to despise me for being supportive of it. It almost feels as if he wants to tell me to hurt me, and keep me detached. Yet when he feels me detaching, he is afraid I will not care enough, leave him, and forget him. I mean, choose, you cannot have it both ways. Water Bearers are a fixed sign as I am, as a Stinger. It is either this, or that, there is not other choice.
Aquas cane be hypocrites and paradoxes at the same time. At least I know I can be. TBH, I don't know how others put up with our shit sometimes. I wish I could make suggests on how to help but I really do not know what to say other than what I have. I will say, words mean everything to this Aqua, perhaps he is similar? I am not action oriented in my love language. do you happen to know his merc? I will hope its not Cap like mine.
Whats with Cap merc? My aqua has it. Hmmmmmm spill
My Water Bearer has the same Mercury as well.
Does he tend to be cold sometimes? Like not verbally expressive?
He is not particularly cold, but sometimes he could detach. He does not say half of what he truly feels, which is a problem because as good as I am in reading him, sometimes I cannot read everything. Unless put on the spot, or he becomes emotional, he does not speak enough.
Thank goodness I am not the only one experiencing that with Cap Merc. Aqua. Mine is the same. Sometimes it frustrates me coz it feels like i need to squeeze him for emotions. He doesnt talk about how he feels unless I’m upset with him. Most days hes just talking about basic stuff. Not so much about how he feels. Even about work. Only during the days when its really stressful, he would start to share. But most days he just likes to keep to himself.
Oh no, regarding his own life, and his work. He could complain for hours and days. That he never holds back on, he never gives me a break from it. Anything that goes bad in his life, or not to his liking, and he will unleash his dissatisfaction unto me. That he never lacks in sharing, but that could be the Italian in him as well.
Hahhaa yes! Italian men are comfortable in expressing discontent about something 😂 and will express it using their hands too. Omg. Hey my aqua is half Italian hahahaha but he wasnt raised in an Italian household 😂 my aqua barely shares about those as he said he is an only child and used to dealing with things on his own. He just started talking more recently. Hes a very shy person
Hah @ASCoppVenus, strangely enough I express myself more so with my hands more than he does. In that sense, I am more Italian than he is. My Water Bearer, if I could call him so, is the younger brother of two siblings. However, with all that Goat in him, he has always been used to taking care of himself. For an Italian, he was already different. He chose early on, to leave his family home, to live around the world and grow his career. Though yes, like yours, he is rather shy. He told me it comes from insecurity, and a lack of confidence. Out of the two of us, I am the social one. Therefore, for networking purposes, we usually go together so I am the social lubricant for his endeavours. A skill he lacks, which I am rather good at.
Is your Water Bearer shy, due to a personality trait or for some other reason ? Is he shy in all settings ?
He’s got social anxiety and is an introvert. I tested him once by introducing him to a random stranger in the gym who started talking to me, and the look on his face was very surprising and unbearable. I wouldnt do that to him again. He look freaked out about it. I am an introvert too so most days i understand him and his need for just one on one interaction.click to expand
What is the rest of his chart ?
Strange is it not, for Water Bearers are such social creatures too in such a way that they have connections everywhere. They seem to have a wide circle of people in which they know, even though, most of them are never truly close to them or matter a lot. They seem to keep and collect people, for the sake of experience and curiousity. My Water Bearer, if I could call him that, is also an introvert. He admits it himself, though he seems to know many people. He finds it unbearably hard to approach people, where as I would simply go up to them to do so. However, I am an ambivert, learned the skills of how to be an extrovert, given the circumstances.
What of you, are you a true introvert, or an ambivert as well ?
Posted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Blackburn
"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"
Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.
I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.
I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.
Same here, time to step back and evaluate my relationship. Why do we as women mold and give, only to not expect just as much in return? I'm much stronger and smarter than this, but love screws my head up...
Love, a feeling we cannot control. The heart wants what the heart wants. However, at the end of the day Love is a choice, we could only hope others will make the same choices we do.
You are still with your Stinger Gent ?
Truer words have never been said. And that is the hardest part about relationships, to ensure that they aren't one-sided or lopsided.
I am, but last weekend he casually dropped into conversation that in a little over two years from now his plan is to move out of NY. Last night he told me he wants to leave his dog with me when he moves. So my dilemma is do I enjoy the next two years with him, or disengage myself now so I don't invest more time and feelings into something that will inevitably end? Rather torn up over this today, throwing myself into work to avoid thinking/feeling....click to expand
He didn’t ask you to go with him? Your decision should be pretty easy if he didn’t.
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by pisceswoman123
@TheLadyScorpio
That is typical Aquarius men. They don’t share so obviously he felt like you were important enough to ask for exclusivity.
But things have changed. He now wants to move away and he says that you two are not a couple. He is going backwards now.
Maybe he didn’t feel that you loved him enough or something else but right now I think he is not committed to you anymore. But at the same time he really cares for you and doesn’t want to hurt you.
He wanted to move away prior to even being exclusive, it was the very reason why I told him it may not be a wise idea for us to be together. It was why I did not trust him and was dragging my feet. He fought tooth and nail to prove to me that he was serious. Yet, he fought, saying, nothing is confirmed yet, that he wants a reason to stay. Not until, he has handed in his notice, booked his flight ticket etc. Even during, and after the argument he said the same, that everything may change. Yes, he wants to leave, but if given the opportunity for something good in this city, he will stay.
I no longer know, maybe I will try to speak with him again soon to see where his head is at.click to expand
How did he fight tooth and nail?
Posted by bkbella86Posted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Blackburn
"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"
Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.
I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.
I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.
Same here, time to step back and evaluate my relationship. Why do we as women mold and give, only to not expect just as much in return? I'm much stronger and smarter than this, but love screws my head up...
Love, a feeling we cannot control. The heart wants what the heart wants. However, at the end of the day Love is a choice, we could only hope others will make the same choices we do.
You are still with your Stinger Gent ?
Truer words have never been said. And that is the hardest part about relationships, to ensure that they aren't one-sided or lopsided.
I am, but last weekend he casually dropped into conversation that in a little over two years from now his plan is to move out of NY. Last night he told me he wants to leave his dog with me when he moves. So my dilemma is do I enjoy the next two years with him, or disengage myself now so I don't invest more time and feelings into something that will inevitably end? Rather torn up over this today, throwing myself into work to avoid thinking/feeling....
He didn’t ask you to go with him? Your decision should be pretty easy if he didn’t.click to expand
Initially @bkbella86, he did for a very long time but I was not sure whether or not to take him seriously. As when he did so, we were not yet exclusive or monogamous. He also has a track record of sometimes saying one thing, but actually meaning something else and whilst digging for an answer from me.
Posted by Jade_Alexander
I see two options:
He’s sabotaging the relationship because he’s scared.
After chasing, chasing and chasing he’s now bored.
My thoughts too
Lady, i see a pattern of you attracting fearful, introvert tyoes of men....it seems to keep happening? I attracted emotionally detached men, until I decided not to...they committed to me, but stood apart somewhat.
Posted by bkbella86Posted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Blackburn
"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"
Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.
I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.
I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.
Same here, time to step back and evaluate my relationship. Why do we as women mold and give, only to not expect just as much in return? I'm much stronger and smarter than this, but love screws my head up...
Love, a feeling we cannot control. The heart wants what the heart wants. However, at the end of the day Love is a choice, we could only hope others will make the same choices we do.
You are still with your Stinger Gent ?
Truer words have never been said. And that is the hardest part about relationships, to ensure that they aren't one-sided or lopsided.
I am, but last weekend he casually dropped into conversation that in a little over two years from now his plan is to move out of NY. Last night he told me he wants to leave his dog with me when he moves. So my dilemma is do I enjoy the next two years with him, or disengage myself now so I don't invest more time and feelings into something that will inevitably end? Rather torn up over this today, throwing myself into work to avoid thinking/feeling....
He didn’t ask you to go with him? Your decision should be pretty easy if he didn’t.click to expand
Yes ma'am...I agree
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Jade_Alexander
I see two options:
He’s sabotaging the relationship because he’s scared.
After chasing, chasing and chasing he’s now bored.
My thoughts too
Lady, i see a pattern of you attracting fearful, introvert tyoes of men....it seems to keep happening? I attracted emotionally detached men, until I decided not to...they committed to me, but stood apart somewhat.click to expand
Yes Stars, I attract them and I noticed that pattern. Did quite a fair amount of self reflection to see, if it was something I had purposely done in which I attract them, but found nothing. You had your own experiences with Water Bearer and Ram men as well, were they as committed but not committed as well ?
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by bkbella86Posted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Blackburn
"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"
Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.
I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.
I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.
Same here, time to step back and evaluate my relationship. Why do we as women mold and give, only to not expect just as much in return? I'm much stronger and smarter than this, but love screws my head up...
Love, a feeling we cannot control. The heart wants what the heart wants. However, at the end of the day Love is a choice, we could only hope others will make the same choices we do.
You are still with your Stinger Gent ?
Truer words have never been said. And that is the hardest part about relationships, to ensure that they aren't one-sided or lopsided.
I am, but last weekend he casually dropped into conversation that in a little over two years from now his plan is to move out of NY. Last night he told me he wants to leave his dog with me when he moves. So my dilemma is do I enjoy the next two years with him, or disengage myself now so I don't invest more time and feelings into something that will inevitably end? Rather torn up over this today, throwing myself into work to avoid thinking/feeling....
He didn’t ask you to go with him? Your decision should be pretty easy if he didn’t.
Yes ma'am...I agreeclick to expand
He did ask me to go with him, many a times but it was prior to us being exclusive and monogamous. Therefore, I was not certain whether or not to take him seriously and did not trust him. He also often asked whether or not I would consider marriage or to build a family with him (which of course, he usually framed the question in a more general sense).
He stopped asking, because though determined to leave, he also said he is more than happy to stay if his career options are opened in this city as well. He wants to have a reason to stay, but until that reason is an option. He will plan as if he will leave, but nothing is concrete, because no actions have been taken. He always tells me, until the notice is given, and he has booked his flight to depart. Nothing is settled, he may very well leave as well as stay.
/sigh
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by bkbella86Posted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Blackburn
"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"
Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.
I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.
I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.
Same here, time to step back and evaluate my relationship. Why do we as women mold and give, only to not expect just as much in return? I'm much stronger and smarter than this, but love screws my head up...
Love, a feeling we cannot control. The heart wants what the heart wants. However, at the end of the day Love is a choice, we could only hope others will make the same choices we do.
You are still with your Stinger Gent ?
Truer words have never been said. And that is the hardest part about relationships, to ensure that they aren't one-sided or lopsided.
I am, but last weekend he casually dropped into conversation that in a little over two years from now his plan is to move out of NY. Last night he told me he wants to leave his dog with me when he moves. So my dilemma is do I enjoy the next two years with him, or disengage myself now so I don't invest more time and feelings into something that will inevitably end? Rather torn up over this today, throwing myself into work to avoid thinking/feeling....
He didn’t ask you to go with him? Your decision should be pretty easy if he didn’t.
Initially @bkbella86, he did for a very long time but I was not sure whether or not to take him seriously. As when he did so, we were not yet exclusive or monogamous. He also has a track record of sometimes saying one thing, but actually meaning something else and whilst digging for an answer from me.click to expand
I was talking about Jules but I guess the same question should apply. If he didn’t mention you moving and is acting like this, I don’t see why you’re sticking around. He’s playing games.
I think you’re making it more complicated than it needs to be. He doesn’t seem consistent and blatantly lied and said you weren’t together. Then said all those hurtful things. He’s also talking about moving, and you say he’s been distant with his communication. He also says one thing and does another, he’s a player. Men talk crap all the time. Him telling you other women didn’t do this and that was to get you to do more. Look at all that catering you’ve done all the while having a career, and he has one foot out the door. He’s a real smooth talker with you wrapped around his finger. How soon after him making you choose between him and the Aries did he tell exes he was single?
Why do you want this? He seems like a joke, def not someone to take serious.
Why do you want this? He seems like a joke, def not someone to take serious.
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by Jade_Alexander
I see two options:
He’s sabotaging the relationship because he’s scared.
After chasing, chasing and chasing he’s now bored.
My thoughts too
Lady, i see a pattern of you attracting fearful, introvert tyoes of men....it seems to keep happening? I attracted emotionally detached men, until I decided not to...they committed to me, but stood apart somewhat.
Yes Stars, I attract them and I noticed that pattern. Did quite a fair amount of self reflection to see, if it was something I had purposely done in which I attract them, but found nothing. You had your own experiences with Water Bearer and Ram men as well, were they as committed but not committed as well ?click to expand
but scorpio energy is like that though.....they take hold of u, do a series of subconscious "tests" and go through a bit of hell, testing and testing, because of the deep trust thing, but in their heart they had chosen you -- i mean it's the connection. But after that initial connection, u want to know if the love you will endure is going to be worth the suffering. lol
then after you think everything is OK, after diving deep into the waters, you let go... just enough to give independence, but remain very possessive. It's a very tricky feat. lol
also i didnt know u and starshine have similar problems, attracting Aquarius and Aries men lol
it works in many cases but in some, i've seen not so good...
this maybe one of those of the latter.
there's way too many mind games between you both. Him especially telling you about his contact with the ex, and saying he's single. Firstly why is he even talking to the ex? lol
theres no reason to keep them around...... what's done is done. if they want friendship with other people, there's work relationships for that LOL acquaintances and talking to other people from time to time in big family events.
It's a lonely world for an Air /Fire sign LOL when you are with a Watery/Water sun ;p because existence only exists between u and him. ;p
the guy has to have Capricorn/Cancer to endure that 😄
Saturn is already a lonely energy. Too many restrictions but it comes natural. Moon energy too, but because they love the ones they love and dont want to lose them.
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by Jade_Alexander
I see two options:
He’s sabotaging the relationship because he’s scared.
After chasing, chasing and chasing he’s now bored.
My thoughts too
Lady, i see a pattern of you attracting fearful, introvert tyoes of men....it seems to keep happening? I attracted emotionally detached men, until I decided not to...they committed to me, but stood apart somewhat.
Yes Stars, I attract them and I noticed that pattern. Did quite a fair amount of self reflection to see, if it was something I had purposely done in which I attract them, but found nothing. You had your own experiences with Water Bearer and Ram men as well, were they as committed but not committed as well ?click to expand
It always comes down to us though Lady...law of attraction
Yes they were faithful, no other women involved but somewhat detached too...having said that the ones I were with had mother issues and the reason I attracted them was my childhood conditioning ... it often is with lots of people
Posted by lisabethur8Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by Jade_Alexander
I see two options:
He’s sabotaging the relationship because he’s scared.
After chasing, chasing and chasing he’s now bored.
My thoughts too
Lady, i see a pattern of you attracting fearful, introvert tyoes of men....it seems to keep happening? I attracted emotionally detached men, until I decided not to...they committed to me, but stood apart somewhat.
Yes Stars, I attract them and I noticed that pattern. Did quite a fair amount of self reflection to see, if it was something I had purposely done in which I attract them, but found nothing. You had your own experiences with Water Bearer and Ram men as well, were they as committed but not committed as well ?
but scorpio energy is like that though.....they take hold of u, do a series of subconscious "tests" and go through a bit of hell, testing and testing, because of the deep trust thing, but in their heart they had chosen you -- i mean it's the connection. But after that initial connection, u want to know if the love you will endure is going to be worth the suffering. lol
then after you think everything is OK, after diving deep into the waters, you let go... just enough to give independence, but remain very possessive. It's a very tricky feat. lol
also i didnt know u and starshine have similar problems, attracting Aquarius and Aries men lol
it works in many cases but in some, i've seen not so good...
this maybe one of those of the latter.
there's way too many mind games between you both. Him especially telling you about his contact with the ex, and saying he's single. Firstly why is he even talking to the ex? lol
theres no reason to keep them around...... what's done is done. if they want friendship with other people, there's work relationships for that LOL acquaintances and talking to other people from time to time in big family events.
It's a lonely world for an Air /Fire sign LOL when you are with a Watery/Water sun ;p because existence only exists between u and him. ;p
the guy has to have Capricorn/Cancer to endure that 😄
Saturn is already a lonely energy. Too many restrictions but it comes natural. Moon energy too, but because they love the ones they love and dont want to lose them.click to expand
There are no mind games on my part, I am either reacting to him, or going slow / cautious merely because I am still learning to trust him. He knows this, but perhaps a part of him is still not sure if I truly love him the most, or love him enough ? He has confessed to his insecurity, and lack of self confidence more than once before. Something in which, he never confessed to anyone else, and would hate for others to know.
The contact, was not with an ex but with someone he went on a date with over a year ago. He showed me, all the messages he still receives from women he had dated in the past. Majority of which, he never replies but ignores. He only showed me, when I told him the Ram Gent had reached out to me recently. I have always been transparent with him about former dates, writing me, so that he would feel secure. However, I believe the more transparent I am, the more insecure he gets, that men are still messaging me. My transparency was not with the intent to make him jealous, but to reassure him that I am his, and that I choose him, time and time again. Otherwise, he does not speak with any of his exes, the ones he was in a relationship with.
Why would it be a lonely world for an Air / Fire sign to be with a Water Sun ?
I have air in my chart, therefore I understand that need to detach or be social with others. He both hates and likes that part of me. He likes it because it gives him space, and freedom. He hates it because it makes him feel insecure that I could so easily socialise with others. Yes, he does have a great fair amount of Goat in him.
What difference would that make ? Also what had you meant by the last few statements ?
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by bkbella86Posted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Jules-llPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Blackburn
"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"
Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.
I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.
I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.
Same here, time to step back and evaluate my relationship. Why do we as women mold and give, only to not expect just as much in return? I'm much stronger and smarter than this, but love screws my head up...
Love, a feeling we cannot control. The heart wants what the heart wants. However, at the end of the day Love is a choice, we could only hope others will make the same choices we do.
You are still with your Stinger Gent ?
Truer words have never been said. And that is the hardest part about relationships, to ensure that they aren't one-sided or lopsided.
I am, but last weekend he casually dropped into conversation that in a little over two years from now his plan is to move out of NY. Last night he told me he wants to leave his dog with me when he moves. So my dilemma is do I enjoy the next two years with him, or disengage myself now so I don't invest more time and feelings into something that will inevitably end? Rather torn up over this today, throwing myself into work to avoid thinking/feeling....
He didn’t ask you to go with him? Your decision should be pretty easy if he didn’t.
Yes ma'am...I agreeclick to expand
I agree ladies, never been one to push myself where not invited!
This weekend he mentioned moving again, and said the only thing that would be stopping him from going is me. So I very calmly told him I would consider going too. And left it at that, planting the seed for his scorp brain to ruminate over...
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