Aries and the famous disappearing act

This topic was created in the Aries forum by SuperGroverGirl on Wednesday, March 4, 2015 and has 22 replies.
Hey there Ariens and fellow Arien lovers!
Some of you may have seen my previous post: http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aries/aries-pisces-cusp-with-a-leo-5330442.asp
To get everyone up to speed, we went out on a second date. We were both a little nervous this time around so the conversation was a little bumpy but still fun and entertaining. We talked about marriage and kids. He gave sort of this long rambling explanation of how he felt about marriage and kids and how he thought about adoption at one point and even confessed to a name he always wanted to give his future son if he ever had one. Afterwards he was embarrassed that he said too much. I thought it was sweet. I told him it wasn't too much at all. He asked me how I felt about marriage and kids. I told him that I always thought my life would be happy either way, with or without marriage and kids. It's about the person you chose to spend your life with and the adventures you plan to have together. He said that was good answer. I asked him about his business. He gave me details and told me he'd like to show me some time. He never really showed anyone he was dating his business because he never really had anyone he wanted to impress before. I told him I'd like that. When he drove me home we had a very long and intense makeup session on the steps of my place. He kept trying to leave and would come back to kiss me one more time. He texted me when he got home and we flirted a bit more before going to sleep. I texted him the next morning the status of my lips and he responded one he was awake. This was 12 days ago.
details
Since then there hasn't been much communication. We had an instance on our second date where the food I ordered was burnt and not so great. I was disappointed and he knew how much I was looking forward to it. So I made it myself at home and texted him a photo of the food. He was impressed and I told him I'd like to make it again but change up the recipe a bit. He said he'd like to take that for a spin. I texted him later in the week and idea for our third date not specifying any day or time. He said he was booked up this weekend and if we did do what I suggested his friends may have to join us since they've been wanting to do something like that again for a really long time. I told him I hoped I didn't have to wait too long to see him again and told him to enjoy his busy weekend. This was just this past weekend. I haven't heard from him much since then. He's liked a few of my Facebook posts and commented on one or two things but no direct texts or phone calls. I had posted yesterday that one of my childhood pets who still lived with my parents has passed away. He texted me shortly after that he was sorry to hear that and that he was thinking of me. I texted him thank you and nothing more.
From an Aries perspective, what exactly is happening here? I know that he's dating other women and am fine with that. We've only gone out twice. I'm not pressuring or pushing him at all. I understanding giving someone space. I need that myself a lot. I'm keeping my expectations in check and he had told me before about taking things slow because that's what he needs right now. But how slow is too slow? It was two weeks between our first and second date (granted that was due to a family emergency). Insight, anyone?
details
I'm an Aries woman so I'm a bit different. My advice is to leave it!
If he was as interested as he made out he would have been in touch by now. I don't chase men but if I was interested I would have messaged back within the 1st week. Especially if that person had already messaged after the date.
details
Also we don't tend to do disappearing acts unless we have been hurt.
details
Thing is he hasn't entirely disappeared. He's sort of hovering at a distance.
details
So having read the 2nd part of your post which I didn't see before, I now have more to go on. If he's willing for you to meet his friends, he must like you and most likely wants their opinion of you.
However if he's dating others he might do this with them too. As an Aries I can tell you now we are easily distracted so not messaging often is because he's trying to keep up with everyone.
We thrive off attention and love to know when someone likes us and shows it.
If he really likes you he will stop seeing the others and concentrate on only you.
However if he's dating others, you have to ask yourself if you're happy with this and how long you are willing to share before you move on or ask for more.
details
If you've barely been on a few dates and have THIS many questions and THIS much confusion, chances are it's not meant to be.
Drop it already. Your Leo ego is just butthurt the guy isn't crawling all over your junk. You sound embarrassingly desperate.
details
Posted by rockyroadicecream
If you've barely been on a few dates and have THIS many questions and THIS much confusion, chances are it's not meant to be.
Drop it already. Your Leo ego is just butthurt the guy isn't crawling all over your junk. You sound embarrassingly desperate.


No offense, rockyroad, but your post combined with your user icon makes you come across as bitter. So I'm going to take your advice with a grain of salt. This isn't about ego. I'm a big girl and can handle rejection but in this particular situation I can't quite tell if I'm being rejected.
My astrological problem is that my sun sign is Leo but my star sign is Capricorn (my moon is in Cancer and all this makes me a fairly muted Leo) so I have a tendency to see both sides of anything. This make me a terrible debater but an excellent moderator. I need outside opinions to help me get out of my own head and back down to Earth to the reality of the situation. In short, perspective. I need perspective.
details
Posted by MadMarchRam
So having read the 2nd part of your post which I didn't see before, I now have more to go on. If he's willing for you to meet his friends, he must like you and most likely wants their opinion of you.
However if he's dating others he might do this with them too. As an Aries I can tell you now we are easily distracted so not messaging often is because he's trying to keep up with everyone.
We thrive off attention and love to know when someone likes us and shows it.
If he really likes you he will stop seeing the others and concentrate on only you.
However if he's dating others, you have to ask yourself if you're happy with this and how long you are willing to share before you move on or ask for more.


Thanks for this, MadMarchRam. I'm fine with him seeing other women. I don't know him well enough and am not ready to be exclusive but would like to spend more time with him to get to know him better and see where this goes. I also don't want to be the girl fighting for his attention. Any ideas on the best way to approach this?
details
The only thing I can suggest now is to maybe msg a couple of times a week and make sure he knows you are still around. Don't be clingy but don't take any crap either. We don't like a push over and lose respect for people quickly if they become that way.
If and when you want more tell him straight and see what he says and take it from there.
I hope it all works out for you
details
I am a aries, had a relationship with aries man and I really don't understand them, in one point we are sooo similar, like real soul mates and then after months he was just starting to ignore and now he is gone, no explanations (just I am so busy, don't have time to contact you).
If I really like somebody then I will do everything to him, if I am not interested then I will tell that, so I do not play any mind games, honesty is important, but it seems that aries men is not like that.
details
Posted by SuperGroverGirl
Posted by rockyroadicecream
If you've barely been on a few dates and have THIS many questions and THIS much confusion, chances are it's not meant to be.
Drop it already. Your Leo ego is just butthurt the guy isn't crawling all over your junk. You sound embarrassingly desperate.


No offense, rockyroad, but your post combined with your user icon makes you come across as bitter. So I'm going to take your advice with a grain of salt. This isn't about ego. I'm a big girl and can handle rejection but in this particular situation I can't quite tell if I'm being rejected.
click to expand


Your post makes you sound like some desperate doormat, clinging on to anyone who has any interest. You're not fooling anyone. "grain of salt" = "You're telling me things I don't want to hear, so I'll dismiss what you're saying."
This isn't the first time you've been here about this guy and the consensus seems to be the same in both of your posts, yet you still stick around and wonder if the slightest behavior means he wants to proclaim some deep, secret love for you.
You'll survive without this guy. Really, you will. Move on to someone who isn't so cloudy with their intentions with you and your emotions.
And you must be new to dating if you think MY icon is "bitter." (psst, it's mocking the bitter guys who whine about being friend zoned.) Are you really that slow on the uptake that you can't seem to realize that this guy isn't into you? I'm a cusper as well, and I don't do this to people I have genuine interest in.
In fact, this has nothing to do with astrology, just a classic "he's not into you" scenario, sorry.
details
Posted by MadMarchRam
The only thing I can suggest now is to maybe msg a couple of times a week and make sure he knows you are still around. Don't be clingy but don't take any crap either. We don't like a push over and lose respect for people quickly if they become that way.
If and when you want more tell him straight and see what he says and take it from there.
I hope it all works out for you



+1
details
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by SuperGroverGirl
Posted by rockyroadicecream

No offense, rockyroad, but your post combined with your user icon makes you come across as bitter. So I'm going to take your advice with a grain of salt. This isn't about ego. I'm a big girl and can handle rejection but in this particular situation I can't quite tell if I'm being rejected.


Your post makes you sound like some desperate doormat, clinging on to anyone who has any interest. You're not fooling anyone. "grain of salt" = "You're telling me things I don't want to hear, so I'll dismiss what you're saying."
This isn't the first time you've been here about this guy and the consensus seems to be the same in both of your posts, yet you still stick around and wonder if the slightest behavior means he wants to proclaim some deep, secret love for you.
You'll survive without this guy. Really, you will. Move on to someone who isn't so cloudy with their intentions with you and your emotions.
And you must be new to dating if you think MY icon is "bitter." (psst, it's mocking the bitter guys who whine about being friend zoned.) Are you really that slow on the uptake that you can't seem to realize that this guy isn't into you? I'm a cusper as well, and I don't do this to people I have genuine interest in.
In fact, this has nothing to do with astrology, just a classic "he's not into you" scenario, sorry.


I'm sorry but none of what you just said is helpful to me at all. How exactly am I desperate or a doormat? Have I done anything to insinuate that I rush to his side when he asks? Or that I'm waiting by my phone hoping the next beep will be from him? Or that I keep my evenings free on the off chance he might want to see me? And "deep secret love"? Ha! I do not think my life is some sad romantic comedy. You're sadly mistaken on all counts.
Why is it such a bad thing to want a little clarity on a confusing situation? Do you think asking someone else's opinion is a sign of weakness? Cause you attack like you do. You make it sound like it's a bad thing to ask questions at all. Do you dispose of people so easily when they don't perform to your expectations?
You don't need to tell me I'll survive withou
click to expand
details
You don't need to tell me I'll survive without him. You have no idea what I've survived in my lifetime. And the fact that you think I'm that sort of weak person is the worst assumption you've made about me.
details
oh yes, the disappearing act. I say you disappear permanently.
details
I didn't say you were a weak person. I said you were desperate. I think you're behaving like a desperate person in regard to this dude.
...And if you know you'll survive just fine without him, then why all the pining this much after a guy who you you only had TWO dates with?
I will never understand why Leo women get so batshit crazy in dating. You go on one or two dates and you're recounting every second of the last week or two, treating each as something largely significant and have practically married the guy in your minds.
"OMGHERD THE CONNECTION. WE WERE MEANT TO BE!!"
What I DO understand is that we all get caught up in the emotional frenzy in the beginning stages of dating. It happens. When they suddenly throw you for a loop like this, yes, it's confusing. However, I'd hope that in all your "lifetime" survival experience, you'd come to realize that behavior like this from a guy tends to point to an obvious answer. One that most women aren't willing to face because they're still caught up in those honeymoon phase feelings and hope their potential romance is just like a romantic comedy.
Fun fact- it's usually not.
Ponder and try to figure out all you want, but take an approach like MMR suggested. Go do you and if dude comes around, hooray. If not, well then eff that noise. On to better things.
details
Rockyroad, you didn't say I was a weak person but you did imply it. I'm not sure how in any of my descriptions you got any sense I was in some sort of despair. I just asked for advice. Nothing I have said or done thus far implies that I'm waiting around for him. It sounds like you're projecting whatever Leo experience you have had onto me. I never once said we were meant to be. Nor do I actually think that. Nor has the idea of marrying him even crossed my mind. I think you need to re-evaluate how you approach people. You come across as purposely hurtful and extremely judgemental. MMR said pretty much the same as you and her approach was far more supportive.
details
oh geeze..now it's a pissing contest -_-. calm down guys lol
details
Posted by SuperGroverGirl
Rockyroad, you didn't say I was a weak person but you did imply it. I'm not sure how in any of my descriptions you got any sense I was in some sort of despair. I just asked for advice. Nothing I have said or done thus far implies that I'm waiting around for him. It sounds like you're projecting whatever Leo experience you have had onto me. I never once said we were meant to be. Nor do I actually think that. Nor has the idea of marrying him even crossed my mind. I think you need to re-evaluate how you approach people. You come across as purposely hurtful and extremely judgemental. MMR said pretty much the same as you and her approach was far more supportive.


+1
details
Posted by SuperGroverGirl
Rockyroad, you didn't say I was a weak person but you did imply it. I'm not sure how in any of my descriptions you got any sense I was in some sort of despair. I just asked for advice. Nothing I have said or done thus far implies that I'm waiting around for him. It sounds like you're projecting whatever Leo experience you have had onto me. I never once said we were meant to be. Nor do I actually think that. Nor has the idea of marrying him even crossed my mind. I think you need to re-evaluate how you approach people. You come across as purposely hurtful and extremely judgemental. MMR said pretty much the same as you and her approach was far more supportive.


Boo fucking hoo.
details
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by SuperGroverGirl
Rockyroad, you didn't say I was a weak person but you did imply it. I'm not sure how in any of my descriptions you got any sense I was in some sort of despair. I just asked for advice. Nothing I have said or done thus far implies that I'm waiting around for him. It sounds like you're projecting whatever Leo experience you have had onto me. I never once said we were meant to be. Nor do I actually think that. Nor has the idea of marrying him even crossed my mind. I think you need to re-evaluate how you approach people. You come across as purposely hurtful and extremely judgemental. MMR said pretty much the same as you and her approach was far more supportive.


Boo fucking hoo.
click to expand


Glad to see you're treating this like an adult.
details

Leave Your Feedback

We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.

Home Astrology Comments Forums Search

©1997-2025 dxpnet.com. All Rights Reserved.
Advertising Contact Terms of Use Privacy Policy